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Pantomime tonight

A pantomime tonight!

Something familiar, Something peculiar, Something for everyone: A pantomime tonight!

Nothing with gods, nothing with fate; Brighton Le Sands will just have to wait!

Something appealing, Something appalling, Something for everyone: A pantomime tonight! Nothing with kings, nothing with crowns; Bring on the lovers, liars and clowns! Old situations, New complications, Nothing portentous or polite; Tragedy tomorrow, pantomime tonight! Something convulsive, Something repulsive, Something for everyone: A pantomime tonight! Something aesthetic, Something frenetic, Something for everyone:

Nothing that's formal, Nothing that's normal, No recitations to recite; Open up the curtain: (PAUSE) pantomime Tonight! Something erratic, Something dramatic, Something for everyone: A pantomime tonight! Frenzy and frolic, Strictly symbolic, Something for everyone: A pantomime tonight! Now the ENTIRE COMPANY Something familiar, Something peculiar, Something for everybody: Pantomime tonight! Something that's gaudy, Something that's bawdy--


[*************] Something for everybody!

[**********] Courtesans and eunuchs!

[ENTIRE COMPANY] pantomime tonight!

[**********] Funerals and chases!

[*************] Nothing that's grim.

[***********] Baritones and basses!

[**************] Nothing that's Greek.

[************] Panderers!

[**************] She plays Dame Twanky later this week.

[**********] Philanderers!

[GIRLS] Stunning surprises!

[******] Cupidity!

[BOYS] Cunning disguises!

[********] Timidity! [**********] Mistakes!

[ALL] Hundreds of actors out of sight! [************] Pantaloons and tunics!

[**********] Fakes! [*********]


Rhymes!

There's no business

Crimes!

There’s no business like SNOW business There's no business I know

Tumblers! Grumblers! Bumblers! Fumblers! [ALL] No royal curse, no Trojan horse, And a happy ending, of course! Goodness and badness, Panic is madness-This time it all turns out all right! Tragedy tomorrow, pantomime tonight

SANTA Mrs C ALL Mrs C Than ALL SANTA Mrs C ALL

Everything about it is appealing As long as you have got a good snow-plough Nowhere can you get such happy feelings when you're milking a frozen cow There's no business like Christ-mas There's no business I know Even though I know I must travel far He'll find your home, where e'er you are Sledding all the way to you from the North Star And now, on with the show.

The costumes, the scenery, the make-up, the props. The audience that lifts you when you're down The headaches, the heartaches, the backaches, the flops. The sheriff who escorts you out of town. The opening when your heart beats like a drum. The closing when the customers won't commmmeeeeeeee There's no business like SNOW business There's no business I know SANTA Everything about it is appealing Mrs C As long as you have got a good snow-plough ALL Nowhere can you get such happy feelings Mrs C Than when you're milking a frozen cow


ALL SANTA Mrs C ALL

There's no business like Christ-mas There's no business I know Even though I know I must travel far He'll find your home, where ever you are Sledding all the way to you from the North Star And now, on with the show! And now, on with the show!

Going on a summer holiday We're all going on a summer holiday No more working for a week or two We're all going to get back Rudolf To make your Xmas dreams come true To make your dreams come true We're going where the sun shines brightly We're going where the sea is blue We've seen it in the movies Now lets see if its true We're all going on a summer holiday No more working for a week or two We're all going to get back Rudolf To make your Xmas dreams come true


SONG: Supercalafragalisticexpialidocious Did you know the world is full of factural information. Like howmany visitors arrive at Central Station. You will find a list of facts for every single nation. Did you know the world is full of factual information. Um diddle liddle liddle um diddle eye Poor little penguins you can’t fly Emus always give it a try Um diddle liddle liddle um diddle eye Did you know that there’s six billion people in the owrld. But its not true when you eat crusts that all your hair will curl. Did you know an oyster takes five year to make a pearl. There are many in-ter-es-ting facts about our world. Did you know the world is full of factual information. Fibonacci seuence is a magic combination. Apple I Phoneis a tech-no-log-i-cal sensation. Did you know the world is full of factual information Um diddle liddle liddle um diddle eye Delta sang I was born to try That song sucked don’t ask me why Um diddle liddle liddle um diddle eye Santa flies around the world, he does it in one night. Seven continents he sees on one very long flight.

Even though the mathematics doesn’t seem quite right. I’ve tried to work the logic out but never got it right. Did you know the world is full of factual information. Children ony have a very short span of attention. The coastal town of Nothgirb has a small population. Did you know the world is full of factual information. Um diddle liddle liddle um diddle eye I trust facts they never lie.


Rudolf the run-away reindeer

Hand Jive

ALL

Before I was born, late one night, My papa said everything's alright The doctor paid, mama laid down, With a semitone bouncing all around Cause the beebop stork was about to arrive Mama gave birth to the hand-jive I could barely walk when I milked a cow When I was three I pushed a plow While chopping wood I moved my legs And they saw me dancing when I gathered eggs The townfolk clapped, I was only five And I danced 'em all, he's born to hand-jive Oh yeah, yeah, yeah - everybody Born to hand-jive, baby, Born to hand-jive, baby - yeah How low can you go, how low can you go, How low can you go, how low can you go Higher, higher, higher and higher Now can you hand-jive, baby, oh can you hand-jive, baby Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah, Born to hand-jive, oh yeah!

Rudolf the Run-away reindeer Had a very shiny nose And if you ever saw him You would even say it glows All of the other reindeer Use to laugh and call him names They wouldn't let poor Rudolf Join in any reindeer games Then one foggy Xmas eve Rudolf ran away Gave a wave and said C-YA Ran all the way to Aust-ray-lee-a All of the elves and Santa Mrs Claus came with them to Followed him right Down Under Knowing what they had to do Happily ever after, that is how our story ends There'll always be a Xmas, now that Santa made amends.


SONG : Cleave It

So cleave it, get some blood on your hands

We’re Mack and Mick, we are purveyors of meat We butcher all the living things that you like to eat Then stuff them into sausages while blood flows in the street So cleave it, just cleave it

Just cleave it, cleave it, cleave it, cleave it Order now, we’ll Christmas Eve it

Be it a piggy, or a cow that goes moo We will dice it, we will slice it, we will chop it in two If we can’t catch a deer then we’ll use a kangaroo So cleave it, chop it up till its dead Just cleave it, cleave it, cleave it, cleave it We can make it dead, believe it Stab a fat turkey, stuff a mince pie When you want your dinner, we will satisfy Just cleave it, cleave it Just cleave it, cleave it Just cleave it, cleave it Just cleave it, cleave it Now Mack the Knife, he’s Bellenhurg’s Sausage man And he can stuff a sausage like nobody else can So you take home that meat and pop it in the frying-pan And cleave it, just cleave it Deer better run, they better hide in a hole Or sneak away to santa, get back to North Pole Cause we will carve them up to make a tasty casserole

Have a fat chicken, have a plump duck When we’re finished with it, it won’t quack or cluck Just cleave it, cleave it, cleave it, cleave it cleave it, cleave it, cleave it, cleave it, YUM!


SONG: If I had you (by Adam Lambert) (slightly slower acoustic?) So I got my boots on, got the right 'mount of leather And I'm doing me up with a black color liner And I'm workin' my strut but I know it don't matter All we need in this world is some love There's a thin line 'tween the dark side and the light side baby tonight It's a struggle gotta rumble trying to find it But if I had LOVE, that would be the only thing I'd ever need Yeah if I had LOVE, then money fame and fortune never could compete If I had LOVE, life would be a party it'd be fantasy Yeah, if I had LOVE L l l l l l l love L l l l l l l love L l l l l l l love If I had love But if I had LOVE, that would be the only thing I'd ever need Yeah if I had LOVE, then money fame and fortune never could compete

If I had LOVE, life would be a party it'd be fantasy Yeah, if I had LOVE L l l l l l l love L l l l l l l love L l l l l l l love If I had love


SONG: We need a little Christmas (from 'Mame' by Jerry Herman)

For-get the holly Forget the tree and let my spirit soar again Don't fill the stockings I may be crushing things, but get the humbug out now. For we don't need a little Christmas Right this very minute No candles in the window No carols at the spinet We don't need a little Christmas Right this very minute It never snows a single flurry I'd rather have a good Thai curry! For-get the chimneys Turn off the brightest strings of lights you've ever seen Chuck out the fruitcake No time to hang some tinsel on that evergreen bough. Because I've grown a little leaner Grown a little colder Grown a little sadder Grown a little older Cause I had a little angel Who disappeared once Xmas That's why I don't like Christmas now! So, forget the jingly music Forget the happy laughter Forget the carol singing

Ringing through the rafter There won't be a little snappy "Happy ever after" There'll never be more Christmas now SANTA STOLE MY BABY! Sings: (Baby Baby Baby – Justin Beiber) You know I love you you know I care But Santa stole you and that’s not fair I want you back now You’re in my heart I thought we’d never, ever, ever be apart. You were taken on Christmas night You are gone now out of my life Santa will pay pay for his cri-ime I wont stop til I’ve ended Christ-mas time Where is he; my baby, baby, baby’s gone My baby, baby, baby’s gone My baby, baby, baby’s gone I thought you’d always, always, always be mi-ine. Curtain closes on the Dame sobbing/singing quietly on the floor.


TOO SEXY

Rudolf:

Others: Rudolf: Others: Rudolf:

(Enters to “I’m too sexy” with photographers and stylists around him flashing cameras and tidying his antlers etc) I’m too trendy for this place, to trendy for this place – so trendy such grace. He’s too trendy for this barn, to trendy for this barn, he should be in Milan I’m so shiny I’m a star, so shiny I will outshine them by far And he’s the leader of the sleigh, the leader of the sleigh, every Christmas day I am a reindeer, as cool as can be and I lead Santa’s sleigh with my red nose. With my red nose, with my red nose, yeah I lead Santa’s sleigh with my red nose.

Little vegemites We’re happy little workshop elves, we’re busy as can be We love to make up all the toys for girls and boys you see. When Santa says “C’mon let’s go, it’s time to pack the sleigh” We all sing out hip hip hooray As we pack up his bright red sleigh And send him on his merry way.

Toys glorious toys Toys, glorious, toys Buzz Lightyear and Woody Cars and trucks that bring joy And other ex-citing goodies. Blocks, dollies and racing cars Paint, colour and build ‘em All children love Christmas toys That’s for certain. Toys, glorious, toys Buzz Lightyear and Woody Cars and trucks that bring joy And other ex-citing goodies. Just picture their great big smiles When they get what they want Oh toys Wonderful toys Marvellous toys Glorious toys. Wonderful toys Marvellous toys Glo..... ri.... ous.....toys.


Brady Bunch

MATERIAL GIRLS VERSE 1 Some girls like us, some girls hate us, we don't really care As long as we have fashion clothes and super pretty hair We can pick and we can chose cause they all think we're it We always show our fashion clothes and give out fashion tips CHORUS Cause we are heaps cool, we are the popular girls And we control the popular world you know that We are heaps cool, we are the popular girls And we control the popular world VERSE 2 Those girls are cruel, they think they're so cool they have no idea But we think they're unbearable and wish they'd disappear They always pick, they always choose, they're always really mean

SONG :

That’s the story, of a girl named Cheryl

BRADY

Who had started at a new school on her own.

BUNCH

She had just moved to that town, with her father And she was all alone. She had no friends, it was really scary, She didn’t know who was nice and who was mean. There were girls there, standing all around her, Like in a scary dream. Til one day little Cheryl met these two girls,

They think their pretty pigtails are the best we've ever seen

Their names were Deloraine and Jackie, they were

CHORUS

cool.

But they are living in a make believe world And They are like try hard girls That’s right, they are living in a make believe world and they are

She could tell they would be friends, they didn’t judge her,

such try hard girls

That’s the way Cheryl found some friends at

They are living in an imaginary world

school (repeat depending on backing track).

Yeah we are really popular girls That’s right cause we are heaps cool, we are the popular girls. You live in an imaginary world

All walk off together.


Rudolf lyrics