energy
After the initial novelty wears off, we come out of the daze and realise that parts of our life have been put on hold so that we can spend time with the new Mr/Ms wonderful, and our priorities are now competing. All of the responsibilities and demands of our lives that were always there - still are and now we are giving them some of our attention again. Someone else always comes in at this point first in the relationship - friends, family members, staff, etc., and the beloved may experience feeling some rejection ‘But we always have Sunday breakfast, what do you mean you’re going walking with Sally instead?’ Relationships can also be effortless and beautiful while people don’t live together. As we take that next step, the practicalities of life become enmeshed. How can we approach things in general like money, property, leases, mortgages,
and so on. It can be a bit of a shock when someone realises that their girlfriend doesn’t wear makeup and high heels all of the time, instead preferring to sloth about on the couch in their bunny rabbit onesie. “Intimacy and sex are not the same thing; one can be had without the other.”
Suddenly the beloveds start to see each other as part of the every day, and the ‘it’s all special, beautiful and wonderful world’ - fades. At some point in the relationship, noticing the differences will turn to conflict – disagreeing about one or many things. When this occurs, it may be
helpful to be aware that relationships allow us to see and meet parts of ourselves for the first time. Everyone is our mirror. As a human, we have the potential and capacity to be any part of the whole. Understand that the mirror of the beloved is more up close and personal than most. You can decide to enjoy the differences! Working through them allows unity to prevail - after all the differences were why you were drawn to the beloved in the first place. It’s really not a good idea to try to change or reform your partner. They don’t need fixing; this would ultimately build resentment and separation. Remember the only one who you can change is you, when you transform yourself, you will transform your relationship. Until next month - happy transforming! Enjoy your journey.
Freya Sampson
Photo Credit: Freeimages
Supernal Magazine
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