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The Zombie Handbook Tips for Surviving the Undead Apocalypse

Written & Illustrated by Allyson Baker


The Zombie Handbook

Tips for Surviving the Undead Apocalypse

Written & Illustrated by Allyson Baker


The Zombie Handbook


Table of Contents

1 2

7

Introduction

pg. 9

Things You’ll Need

3

Do’s & Don’ts

4

Life on the Road

pg. 13

pg. 17

pg. 23

5 6

Undead Animal Kingdom

Fighting the Horde

7

Dealing with Humans

8

Afterword

pg. 27

pg. 31

pg. 36

pg. 41

8


E

1

Introduction

9

ver have one of those days where your friends not only look like they’re dead, but are dead? They may seem harmless but all of a sudden try to take a bite of your flesh? Yeah, it hasn’t happened yet, but one day it will, and this book is designed to aid you in your journey through the zombie apocalypse. This book should be ever present in every household. If you don’t want to become a zombie and you want to survive the oncoming hordes of the undead, make sure you thoroughly read this book and have it ready when the dead walk the earth. First off, you need to be sure to identify a zombie when you see one, accidentally thinking your hungover friend is a zombie could be a terrible mistake, and explaining to his or her parents that you smacked him over the head with a baseball bat may not go too well and may also involve a lawsuit and a large sum of money you don’t have. This book will help you with that by explaining the tell tale signs of a zombie, so you don’t have to second guess which of your friends is alive or dead.

Another important aspect to surviving judgment day is what weapons you’ll want to use. This book discusses those weapons and their pros and cons and what will be best for certain situations. It will also discuss the everyday objects in your home that may make you a successful zombie killing machine. So when you’re making your eggs for breakfast and a zombie walks up for some brains for breakfast, you’ll know to utilize that frying pan as a weapon, unfortunately, yes you will lose your breakfast, but think of the lives you may have saved. So, when the day comes, that day we all know could be tomorrow or a year from now, you will be prepared to take on hordes of flesh eating monsters. It won’t be easy, but without this book you’ll probably end up dead, and yes, the author of this book would like to take the credit for you surviving the zombie apocalypse. By Dan Ross

10


Indicators of a Zombie Tell-tale signs your friend is undead

Zombie Attractors What’s going to get you eaten?

Exposed Brain Sunken Eyes

Brainsss! Torn Clothing

Falling Entrails

Bright Lights.

Missing Limbs

Loud Noises. Slouched Posture

11

12


Tools of the Trade Melee weapons

Axe

Great when faced with hordes of undead. Take off thei r heads with a single swing!

2

Things you’ll need

Chainsaw

Can take on a large number of zombies with deadl y force. But requires gas, so it is a limited time use. Use wisely!

Baseball Bat

Readily availble; can be found in almost any neighborhood garage. Not as deadly as sharper melee weapons, but can still pack a punch.

Katana

Slightly more rare in the everyday neighborhood, but definitely dealdly if you can get your hands on one . Even the least skilled swordsman can take out a horde of zombies with ease.

13

14


Tools of the Trade Melee weapons

Miscellaneous

Pump Action Shotgun

Health Kit

AK-47

Canned Goods

Pistol

Bottled Water

Blast those zombies in the face! May weigh you down, but it is extremely effective.

Lightweight. Easy to carry. Reliable. Mow down large swarms of zombies.

Small, easy to carry, and easy to find. Can be dual-wielde d for more killing. Not good for long distance, but effective at short range .

Sniper Rifle

Be brave from a safe distance. Great for popping of f zombies from afar. No good for close combat.

15

Other Necessities It may be common sense, but make sure you have your health kit ready to go when the zombie apocalypse does happen. Should include: bandages, alcohol wipes, etc.

Non-perishable food is the way to go. Make sure you stock up on these, because you’ll be needing them when you’re surrounded by the undead.

Start stocking up early on these. They can go fast in a crisis, and they will virtually never go bad. If you’re still human when the zombie apocalypse hits, yo u will be parched .

Blankets

These may not be necessary, depending on the climate you’re in, but if you have to survive a winter, these are good to have around, and can have other uses as well!

16


one

Travel in groups.

3

Do’s and Don’ts

18


two

Don’t use public restrooms. NEM WOMEN

19

three

Know how to hotwire a car.

MEN

20


four

Don’t go to cities or other highly populated places.

21

five

Aim for the head.

22


The Zombie Handbook