AUTUM AUTUMN2010 2010 Bristolâ€™s favourite independent magazine
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The A-Word And so with one of the best summers in recent years drawing to an end, the deckchairs, the buckets and spades, the BBQ sets and the beach towels are once again resigned to their place at the back of the cupboard. With autumn closing in however, it’s also time to dig out the cosy slippers, the special hot chocolate mugs, the walking boots and the Sunday roast recipe books. Let’s not forget how much we enjoy this season just as much as the others! I love the crackle of crispy leaves, the brisk morning winds and the sound of rain beating on my window while I’m cosily tucked up in bed. Bliss! I’m already licking my lips for autumn and hope you are too. Just noone mention the merry C-word - then I really will get depressed. Suit Yourself Magazine is an independent Bristol publication, a voice for all those young at heart, those interested in music, fashion, adventure, the arts, their environment and everything in between. A magazine which investigates, uncovers and promotes everything that makes Bristol such a fun, vibrant and altogether amazing place to live!
This is our quarterly edition and so expect articles, indepth features, interviews, cartoons, illustrations and photos, all in the creation of an altogether fantabulous read which you can dip and in and out of during the three month period. Those of you who still want your monthly fix of SY, log on to the website and read our monthly, online, sister publication ‘SY - On The Sly’ which is chock-ablock with previews and reviews of all sorts of events happening across Bristol and don’t forget to check out our contestably updated blog, all found at: www.suityourselfmagazine.co.uk The fabulous sections waiting to enlighten you are: Involve Yourself – think green, act keen Pamper Yourself – think health and beauty Hurt Yourself – think getting active Treat Yourself – think indulgence Enjoy Yourself – think about getting out there Prepare Yourself – think about shakin’ that ass www.suityourselfmagazine.co.uk 3
Keep Your Wheels Is your favourite mode of transport a scooter, moped or motorbike? If so, keepyourwheels.com could make you £100 better off this time next year. How come? Well, keepyourwheels.com is one of those rare websites which actually gives you money – no joke! Imagine receiving a lovely cheque and what you could spend that cash on. How does it work? It’s so easy. Simply, register your name and details at keepyourwheels.com to become a member. After that there are five simple steps to getting your cash;
Prove your roadworthiness – i.e. post, email, or photo message your paperwork to prove your legal. £20 credit.
Step2: Complete all 12 monthly quizzes – don’t worry even we got these right! £20 credit.
Step3: Get extra training – by booking a free keepyourwheels.com ‘One to One’ ride-out or by completing an advanced riding course and/or full licence. £20 credit.
Step4: Show us your skills on the track – attend a free keepyourwheels.com ‘Go-Karting’ session held during the year. £20 credit.
Step 5: Keep a clean licence for a 12 month period. £20 credit.
Don’t worry if you intend to go on to learn to drive a car, you can still take part so long as you’re aged 16-24 and live in Bristol, Bath & NE Somerset, South Glos or North Somerset. Numbers are limited so sign-up quick.
3/ The A-Word 7/ Time For Autumn 11/ Stomping The Streets â€“ Gloucester Road 14/ Cartoon â€“ Cabot Tower in Autumn 18/ RANT! Facefuckbook 21/ Alternative Views of Bristol 28/ SY Creation Station Separate listings can be found under all the separate section header pages.
31/ Involve Yourself 45/ Pamper Yourself 57/ Hurt Yourself 73/ Treat Yourself 95/ Enjoy Yourself 112/ Prepare Yourself
For those of you pretending to work, you can also read the magazine online at www.suityourselfmagazine.co.uk
Time For Autumn Still in shock? Yep, so am I! After years of disappointment and emergency umbrella buying, we’ve finally got our wish...a half decent summer! No doubt you’ve spent your afternoons lazing about on the beach or sipping on Pimms in a beer garden, with nothing but sun tinted hair and a white sun glasses marks to show for it - ah to be British! But the time has come to stop wearing bikinis instead of bras and to retire from the garden, into the warmth and glow of the great indoors. I don’t know about you, but bizarrely, almost as soon as October 1st strikes, my friends and I instinctively ditch the Pimms and straw hats and hurry inside to sit by a roaring log fire with a whiskey to warm our cockles. 7
The BBQ’s and long summer evenings will become a distant memory as we gear ourselves up for the festivities of autumn and winter. We shall become obsessed with long Autumnal walks amongst crunchy brown leaves that always lead you back to the pub and a Sunday roast will once again become a necessity, not a choice. Picnics will become obsolete and festivals will be replaced by chilled out acoustic sets in some of Bristol’s best venues. There’s something about the autumn that just demands cosiness. As soon as the evenings start drawing in and a slight chill rises in the air, we yearn for comfort in any way, shape or form. Whether it’s going all out and buying the biggest, fluffiest hat, scarf and glove combo we can find, or deciding that 7.30pm is a reasonable time to get into your pyjamas with a steaming mug of coco, we just can’t get enough of being snug and warm! If we’re really lucky the rain might even hold off long enough for us to enjoy some crisp mornings and orange-tinted evenings....but let’s not get too ahead of ourselves, we may have had a good summer, but this is still England..... stand by for some potential emergency umbrella buying! Lisa Bartlett Illustrations by Gemma Randall 8
Stomping The Streets
Gloucester Road Gloucester Road is a hive of activity with plenty to offer. It is the free thinking older cousin of the city centre and is known as one of the last remaining decent local high streets in the country. It is populated by many students and young adults and this really adds to the vibrancy of the area and its strong sense of community. Supermarkets have tried numerous times to move in but they are met by strong resistance due to the residents’ strong support of independent shops. If ever you are bored of what the centre has to offer, take one of the ever regular buses to the top of Gloucester Road and let gravity pull you down a promenade of hidden treasures. First highlight is The Reclaimers of Great Britain. The self proclaimed “most interesting place on Gloucester Road” houses innumerable trinkets and commodities;
a place to call in if you wish to decorate your house with character on a budget. Also featuring a stained glass studio, whether it’s a light or a lavatory, it’s got it all. Further on you will find Fig.A studio set up by three local mums for limited edition jewellery, glassware, textiles, screenprints and more. See the work in action and meet the artists you buy from. Other places to shop include Sage, a boutique full of gift ideas and Bishopston Books with its homely shelves filled with reading material. When worn out from all the window shopping, you can relax with a coffee. Tinto Lounge and Coffee #1 are but two of the many cosy cafés offering wifi, board games, newspapers and cakes that you can enjoy while life passes you by in the street side seating areas. If the hustle and bustle is too much, retreat to 11
the World Peace Café. In this “oasis of calm” you can be served a selection of organic and fair trade foods by the resident monks. Featuring a large child friendly garden, it’s the perfect place for a quiet cake out the way of the traffic. Meditation sessions and themed music nights are run here regularly. Plenty of reasons to visit. Refueled and revitalised it’s time to get back to the shops! Gloucester Road can cater for all individual and unique styles. Re-Psycho has a huge collection of vintage clothes from days gone by, whether it’s some groovy flares or some ace aviators this place has it. Upstairs has some of the finest vintage furniture and
nick-nacks at reasonable prices too. Mind your head as you go into the basement where you find Prime Cuts, a huge collection of classic and obscure vinyl that is ready to be rummaged through. Other record shops not far away are “Bristol’s biggest record dealer” Plastic Wax and the more specialized Rooted Records boasting the largest collection of Dub Step in Bristol. All of these independent shops support local artists’ releases, a testament to this creative area. Also doing this is Drum Bank music. Not only a shop, it has services including lessons for new and experienced players, instrument repairs and two rehearsal studios for local bands.
Other shops catering for the dedicated flowers of fashion are Sticky Neon that specialise in more hand made ‘hippy’ styles and juggling things, KBK shoes that has not moved since 1910 is recognised by the world as one of the best stockists of Dr Martin’s footwear, and Beast, selling the finest West Country clothing and constantly reminding us that Brizzle is definitely the shizzle. Later in the evening as the sun is setting over the Arches there are many places to enjoy a drink. For pubs you have a wide choice from The Royal Oak, Robin Hood’s Retreat, The Flyer, The Prince Of Wales and many others, all serving local ales and food. Going
out for a meal? Why not try Bistro La Barrique with it’s French menu, or the stylish Delmonico for tapas? If you are in for a more lively evening, The Golden Lion has live music six nights a week, ranging from open mic to acid jazz as well as housing a gallery of local artwork. The Prom and The Blue Lagoon also have live music from a wealth of local bands. So whether it’s an afternoon of shopping or an evening of entertainment you are after, Gloucester Road has it all. And when you get to the Arches at the bottom, why not continue through to the creative hub that is Stokes Croft and onto the centre, or catch a bus back to the top and do it again! Chris Mulligan
SY On The Sly is our sister publication, sharing exactly the same ideals as Suit Yourself Magazine but it’s a monthly, online mag, chock-a-block with previews and reviews of all the amazing events constantly going on in Bristol. There’s no better place to catch up on every thing you missed of Bristol’s best gigs, art, clubs, stage and cinema from a month gone by and at the same time get excited about everything that’s coming up, along with a smattering of Suit Yourself Magazine’s much loved articles and long time favourites like Auntie Harper and Mystic Ginger’s horoscopes. Log on to www.suityourselfmagazine.co.uk now to read this month’s SY On The Sly.
RANT! RANT! RANT! RANT! Facefuckbook I don’t own a camera. I take photos on birthdays, at weddings, on holidays, that sort of thing. I appreciate the digital wonder of being able to download and edit your own photos, to get rid of the red eye and to keep them somewhere permanent rather than in an album, which could be destroyed in the event of fire or flood. I don’t take photos on nights out because I would rather dedicate myself to having a dance and drinking copious amounts of alcohol than concern myself about whether the evening has been properly documented. I’ve never understood people who look like they’re a voyeur of their own evening. Holding the camera up above their own face every five minutes on the dance floor with a sad and evidently time consuming concern that they look like they’re having enough fun to whoever inspects their vanity when the pics appear on Facebook. However, it seems that good old t’interweb has other ideas. I was horrified to discover my last night out had been got at by the publicity people at Motion. Not against my will exactly, but I had drunk far too much tequila to remember anyone having a camera. I was not in a state to be photographed. Some lad I haven’t spoken to in years had then, for reasons unknown, looked at the pics on Motion’s website, and ‘tagged’ me. So now everyone in my (and presumably his) Facebook friends list can see me staring glassy eyed and confused at the middle distance with eyeliner all down my face.
And it’s not just the photos. It’s the whole public profile. I like Facebook for a number of reasons. I never have any credit on my phone, I’m rubbish at remembering people’s birthdays, and, as I don’t own a camera it is nice in some instances to get sent photos taken by more organised friends. But the fact that people feel the need to list all their likes and dislikes, and keep their ‘friends’ informed of every pointless thing they think (Natalie Burns…is looking forward to the weekend. Wow, what a unique and fascinating insight) is just bollox. People aren’t listing what they like but what they think will make them look cool. Who are you even showing off to? ‘Friends’, most of whom you probably haven’t spoken to in years and who you only added so other people can see how many ‘friends’ you have. Be honest. No-one has 378 friends. Sod convincing strangers or old school mates with whom under normal circumstances you’d have long ago lost touch that you’re cool. Or that you’re having more fun than they are. Or you look impossibly beautiful despite being muntered in a club at five in the morning. No-one believes you, you posing bunch of tehnofiles. Go out and make some proper friends who don’t mind your red eye and crap taste in music. Natalie Burns Illustration by James Seymour
Alternative Views Of Bristol
Lora English 21
Heidi Gough 22
Heidi Gough 23
Ian Bradley 24
Ian Bradley 25
Matt Whittle 26
Elena Goodrum 27
Suit Yourself Magazine Creation Station We all know how much you lovely people of Bristol like to draw, doodle and design, sketch, scribble and squiggle and so here’s your chance! The page opposite is your official, designated creation station for you to illustrate and imagine to your heart’s content. It’s literally a blank canvas; perhaps create a T-shirt design? Or design a front cover for the magazine? Maybe sketch the faces and places of Bristol? Anything goes. If you’re proud of your creation then send it over to us at SY Towers and the best doodles every month will get showcased on our website for the world to see! If we really like it we could even use your design as a magazine front cover or put it on a T-shirt! You lucky people might even receive the odd prize back to say thanks! 28
It’s an unrestricted, organic competition and we’re completely open to anything and everything you’ve got. Let’s see what you’re made of Bristol! Scan in your designs and email them to us along with your name and contact details to matt@ suityourselfmagazine.co.uk”
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Involve Yourself Information and musings on the important things in life: The environment, local and community issues, social responsibility, organic farming and charities. To advertise in this section at a reduced rate please contact firstname.lastname@example.org
Contents/ 33/ The Architecture Centre 37/ Bio-Diversity Starts At Home 41/ The Leftbank
The Architecture Centre You are heavily involved with architecture. Maybe you don’t know it, but you are. Even if you don’t consciously think about it, you are interacting with it on a daily basis. Furthermore, you have an opinion on it! You love some areas and buildings, and others make you feel like they should be torn down. Maybe the new foyer on Colston Hall really floats your boat because it is daring and bold, maybe you think it is an abomination, all fake gold tacked on to a beautiful historic building. Even if you’re not too bothered, you’ll have noticed it if you’ve been past.
Architecture is an art form, but it is different from other art forms in that it directly affects everyone all the time. Poorly thought out and executed architecture can have a very negative effect on people and communities, rows and rows of oppressive drab concrete houses can be a contributing factor to low morale and other negative communal feelings. The same is true at the other end of the spectrum, excellent planning and architecture can undoubtedly impact positively on the communities that surround them.
So, architecture is pretty important to us all. This being the case, shouldn’t we, the people who use and are affected by the architecture and spaces around us have the chance to be a bit more involved with it? When was the last time you were consulted on proposals for some new bit of planning or development in your area? Shouldn’t there be some way of engaging and having a say? Well luckily for us, Bristol has the Architecture Centre, who try to do just that. Their statement is this: “The Architecture Centre’s principal aim is to encourage public demand for excellent design by increasing people’s awareness and enjoyment of their built environment.”
They run a programme of exhibitions which range from highlighting examples of excellent and/or innovative architecture and design and showing output from their education and public participation programmes. They also work with artists and creative practitioners who explore the built world around them. They have an extensive education programme and the events they put on encompass boat tours, lectures and films.
Phew, thank goodness someone is fighting our corner. The Architecture Centre aims to engage the public with the built environment, and champions the creation of better quality neighbourhoods, buildings and public spaces. The centre is in the harbourside area, next to the Youth Hostel and the Arnolfini. Entry is free and there are some really good books available in the shop.
So if you have an interest in architecture and, considering that we are all affected by the space and environment around us, we all have, the architecture centre is worth checking out.
Gustave Savy Illustrations by Matt Whittle
Biodiversity Begins At Home There are around 15million gardens in Britain and those in England cover an area larger than all nature reserves when put together support more variety of life than the green belt around cities, which is often too intensively farmed. Gardens have long been vastly underrated and underemphasised in biodiversity action planning. 2010 is International Year of Biodiversity. You can help protect the variety of plant and animal life, create habitats and ecosystems and gain pleasure by making changes that favour wildlife in your garden. It could be your own mini nature reserve with you as the warden.
Consider: 1. Digging and maintaining a pond in your garden it
even a small, basic one will attract all sorts of wildlife. Ideally ensure has different depths as shallow areas are good for bathing and drinking birds, emerging dragonflies and egg laying frogs, toads and newts, whilst deeper areas wonâ€™t freeze as easily and so are good for aquatic insect survival in cold spells (deeper places are also great for watching anything that swims, like newts).
2. Making a log/stick pile in a garden corner
lichens and fungi may grow, bugs and frogs will make a home and hibernate there. The nooks, crannies and what grows near provide places to breed, shelter, forage and feed and so are a key habitat.
3. Encouraging small areas of your garden to grow nettles naturally or wild whether in corners, edges or patches, plants like laying and and brambles are a haven for wildlife. Long grass is a home for egg over wintering of caterpillars and leather jackets (cranefly grubs which blackbirds and starlings search for). What grows naturally and wild in and near you area is obviously suited to the soil, drainage and climate.
4. Looking into putting up bird, bat and bug boxes or even making your own These provide roosting sites for bats, nesting and hibernation spots for insects like lacewings and ladybirds (great natural pest controllers) and somewhere for increasingly scarce house sparrows to raise their broods.
5. Avoiding expensive and polluting artificial fertilisers and pesticides replace chemicals with natural alternatives and methods that are healthier and more wildlife-friendly.
6. Avoiding garden products made from tropical hardwoods and consider softwoods, or hardwoods such as beech and oak, instead
â€“ always look for a Forestry Stewardship Council (FSC) symbol for good sustainable management standards.
7. Choosing non-peat composts at the garden centre as a lot of peat comes from areas rich in wildlife, reliant on an undisturbed environment. Glenn Vowles http://vowlesthegreen.blogspot.com Illustrations by Laurie Stansfield
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The Leftbank Centre and Bar Stokes Croft is rapidly becoming one of the most unique and interesting parts of Bristol. With the addition of many new independent cafés, restaurants, bars and clothing shops, its three well established artist studios and wonderful ever-changing street art boasting Europe’s largest outside gallery Stoke’s Croft is firmly on the national map, Stokes Croft has a tangible creative energy. The Leftbank Bar and Centre have evolved in this same spirit.
Nick Martin’s Leftbank Centre came into being in 2005 as a venue for meeting spaces and evening language courses. Nick opened the bar in late 2008 and since then, Leftbank has taken on a life of its own making a name for itself as one of the most varied venues in Stokes Croft.
Physically, the building’s spaces are diverse. The upstairs Leftbank Centre opens out at the top of the stairs into light, gallery-like spaces with trailing plants, local artwork, comfortable furniture and a well placed terrace. This is where the language courses and meetings take place as Nick told me; ‘We aim to provide a friendly and inviting space. People don’t simply come here to do their course or attend office meetings. It’s a place where people can make friends, learn, and relax in the bar afterwards.’ Leftbank offers Language courses in Spanish and French, as well as English courses for foreign students. The meeting rooms are available for hire and discounts are offered to the charitable sector. Also, Leftbank is involved in various art trails including the Bristol Festival of Photography and is happy to display work with an emphasis on supporting local artists. 41
The activities upstairs link naturally with what goes on downstairs in the bar. In perfect contrast to the airy spaces above, the bar has a cosy atmosphere with its rich colour scheme, vintage posters, candles and warm lighting. The events diary is ever-changing which keeps the venue fresh and interesting. Through running the language courses, Nick has also developed links with the Spanish and Latin community in Bristol and this influence is well reflected. They run Latin music nights (Friday Latin Fever) and language exchange nights (Tuesdays) and the bar serves tapas, wines and beers along with its cocktails menu. Nick works closely with Ruth Royall on programming the music for the bar (both are musicians themselves), putting on world music, afro beat DJs, Poetry and Spoken Word nights (Shush It’s Sunday), and a near legendary Open Mic night (Wednesdays), showcasing the cream of Bristol’s singer-songwriters and with the occasional star turn (Joss Stone!). They also run a gypsy jazz night (Caravan) once a month.
As well as these diverse live music events, Nick plans to start running cabaret nights and to host Film Club meetings in the near future with a view to encouraging local screenwriters, actors and filmmakers to come along. In the vanguard of Stokes Croft’s metamorphosis, Leftbank has developed into a diverse venue for the community, and is clearly playing an important part in the creative arena of one of Bristol’s most cultural of quarters. We say: ‘Keep on playing!’ www.leftbankcentre.co.uk Natalie Burns
Green People The Mexican Hammock Company
Ecology Building Society
Riverside Garden Centre
0117 9425353 Hammocks brought from ethical cooperatives on a fair-trade basis. Mail Order only.
0800 0375796 email email@example.com Co-operative garden centre. Organic peat and free composts.
0845 674 5566 Mutual building society ethical savings accounts, energy efficient housing. Support renovation.
0117 9231970 Quality Restored Furniture 6 Filwood Broadway, Bristol, BS4 1JN
Trees for Cities
0117 9249200 3 Ninetree Hill, just off Stokes Croft. Gourmet coffee menu and organic products.
The planting event on Wednesday 13th February 2008. If you would like to volunteer to help on the day, then please contact Emma at emma.burley@ treesforcities.org or 020 7820 4427
01286 830312 firstname.lastname@example.org Bio power fuel made from renewal materials used instead of fossil fuels.
01823 430852 Check your carbon output and take action to offset it. www.co2balance.com
To submit information for this section please email to: email@example.com
Pamper Yourself In this section with deal with fashion, styling, beauty, trends and glorious ways to make the very best of yourself. We introduce a new regular contributor, the uber glamourous Gill Cockwell, head of a Bristol born house of couture Gilly Woo. Fabulous Gill joins Annette and Charley making this a formidable team! To advertise in this section at a reduced rate please contact firstname.lastname@example.org
Contents/ Contents/ 47/ Bristol Street Fashion 51/ Expert Style Advice from Gilly Woo 54/ Super Seasonal Fashion Trends 45
SUNDAY 19TH DECEMBER 2010 METROPOLIS, 135-137 CHELTENHAM ROAD, BRISTOL, BS6 5RR
6.30pm-1am. Come and join the glitterati for a splendid evening of couture fashion, fine food and breath-taking entertainment. You will be treated to a glass of bubbly on arrival, a 3-course meal, a glamorous fashion show, decadent cabaret and a few Christmassy surprises too! Over 18s only. Ticket Prices: Single £45 / Table of 6 £245 / Table of 12 £480 / Balcony seats (show only) £15. Dress code: tux’s and tiaras (we encourage you to dress as decadently as you dare). Visit www.campnonsense.co.uk for tickets!
Bristol Street Fashion Ellie Denim Jacket: New Look Hat: Vintage Boots: Primark Top: H&M
Abi Jacket: Topshop Leggings: American Apparel Boots: Office Bag: Miss Selfridge
Ella Jacket & Jumper: Flea Market Trousers: American Apparel Shoes: Topshop
Jessica Leather Coat: Topshop Bag & Jumper: Vintage Shop Boots: Motel
Lucy Hat: Reiss Jumpsuit: Motel Boots: Kurt Geiger Coat: French Connection Katie Shorts: River Island Bodice: Motel Tights: Henry Holland Shoes: Topshop Bag: Charity Shop
Sarah Coat: H&M Boots: Office Jumper: Charity Shop
Marie Coat: Unknown Skirt: Dutty Girl Top: Charity Shop Belt:Uncle Sams
Suzie Jacket: Jigsaw Shoes: Converse Leggings: Zara
SY Blog Suit Yourself Magazineâ€™s constantly updated blog, the only place to find every single article from Suit Yourself Magazine, SY On The Sly plus amazing competitions, extra extended editorial, great images, photos and much, much more â€“ literally everything you would ever need to know about Bristol! Log on now and get browsing! www.suityourselfmagazine .co.uk/blog
Expert Style Advice from the Bristol-based Designer, Dressmaker and Stylist To begin with, I need to give you an important piece of advice: NEVER discuss your flaws and body hang ups with anyone, EVER! There is absolutely no good that can come of it; at best you will be drawing attention to the bits you should be glossing over and at worst you will appear to be fishing for compliments. The only exception to this rule is your trainer at the gym or your dressmaker. It is perfectly acceptable to say ‘please help me tone my thighs’ or ‘design me something that hides my tummy’ but only because you are taking a positive step towards realistic self improvement.
A comment directed at a friend or (heaven forbid!) a boyfriend, such as ‘look at this disgusting cellulite’ or ‘I hate my enormous feet’ has no positive connotations whatsoever and therefore has no place in your vocabulary. I hate to tell you this girls but essentially, you are what you are, so you may as well deal with it because the alternative is being miserable about something you have no control over. If you are a pear shape then you will always be a pear shape. If you are flat chested or have a round tummy or a large bust or 51
short legs you just have to accept it, learn to work with it, and realise that you are beautiful just the way you are. Allow me to paint you a picture: When I was 18 years old, I started saving money for a breast reduction. I was under the impression at that time that if I had smaller boobs, I would be happier and my life would be improved. The only bras available in my size were enormous granny ones with inch thick straps and no underwire. I couldnâ€™t wear anything strapless, backless, high necked or drapey and there wasnâ€™t a single dress on the high street that fitted my figure remotely. Men would make rude comments at me when I was at work which made me uneasy and nervous and I felt uncomfortable in my own skin. It made me insecure and miserable.
Around this time I met a man who inspired me to travel. He recommended a book called Work Your Way Around The World and I ended up spending my
breast reduction money on an 18 month trip around Europe. There is little space for vanity when you have to live out of a backpack for over a year and I was so busy meeting people, seeing sights and experiencing new things that I didn’t have time to obsess about my boobs! The trip helped me build up confidence and I found it easier to interact with strangers because I was forced out of my comfort zone and gradually I began to hear the compliments people paid me in a completely different way: I began to believe them! Nowadays, with better lingerie production techniques and the internet, I have no trouble buying great underwear but dresses and tailored tops still need a nip and a tuck 99% of the time. When I think back I can’t believe I almost had unnecessary, major, invasive surgery. The problem wasn’t with my body, the problem was with my head. I know a lot of women who have had reconstructive and cosmetic procedures and although plastic surgery is a good option in some cases, I have to admit that
in my experience it is rarely the quick fix it is often portrayed as in the media. My point is this: Make the best of yourself, always, but don’t neglect your mental health or set yourself unrealistic goals. Don’t try and fit into anyone else’s “ideal”. If you have mousey, poker straight hair, no amount of peroxide or extensions will make you look like the girl in the Timoteo advert. And if your skin is so fair that it looks blue in some lights, no amount of fake tan will make you look like Penelope Cruz. Just because Anna Wintour says purple leg warmers are “in” doesn’t mean you have to wear them. You’ll just look ridiculous. Embrace what you have and make the best of it. Your own “ideal” should be the best version of yourself, just the way you are! www.gillywoo.com Gilly Woo 53
Autumn/Winter Fashion 2010/11 This season’s style heroines are the glamorous grunger and the dreamy librarian. Invest in a big, chunky, woolly cardigan and elegant, luxurious skirts in royal blue and purple. On the catwalk, D&G teamed beautiful floral skirts with chunky ski sweaters and thin leather belts. Anything goes but it’s all about mixing and mashing up textures and warm, autumnal colours. Imagine you’ve just been at a ball all evening, it’s 4am in the morning, sitting on the dewy grass with your friends all you could find in the wardrobe of the stately home you hired is an oversized men’s jumper. Thrown over your midnight blue organza ballgown, you are the glamorous grunger. For style inspiration, google Michael Kors, D&G, and Marc Jacobs. Next up we have the dreamy librarian, lost in her romantic daydream wearing an old fashioned palette of burnt orange, fawn and smoky grey. The look is bohemian but with masculine accents - the ‘sensible’ shoes and reading glasses. Wear long, flowing dresses with black knitwear and elbow-length gloves with a chunky mohair cardigan. Hair should be worn long and flowing, not a hair straightener in sight. Designers who heralded this style on the catwalk included: Ralph Lauren and Kenzo. Have fun mashing it up! Annette Sloly 55
Beautiful People Bishopston Trading Company
0117 9245598 Clothes designed in Bristol. Supporting K V Kuppam village in S India.
0117 9737458 13 Cotham Road email@example.com Fabulous retro shop with added fancy dress
0117 9420818 Gloucester Rd. Natural, organic and fair trade products in family owned shop.
Billie Jean Clothing
Beauty Queen Cosmetics
0117 9426586 Cotham Rd south, Kingsdown. 25% discount for students and nurses. Great prices, wonderful service. 0117 9523322 229 - 231 Stapleton Road Whole and retail specialising in afro and euro cosmetics. Open every day.
0117 9445353 208 Cheltenham Road Colourful range of retro clothes. High quality clothes. 0117 9249959 A massive collection of beads from around the world. We run classes also, just give us a call. www.bambabeads.com 0117 9428200 224 Cheltenham Rd Bristolâ€™s most famous Gert famous T-Shirts.
Repsyco: Vintage and Retro
85 Gloucester Road. Clothes, Accessories, Furniture and Kitsch. To submit information for this section please email to: firstname.lastname@example.org
Hurt Yourself Information and musings on the active things in life: Sport and adventure. To advertise in this section at a reduced rate please contact email@example.com
59/ Up The Gas! A Day Out at Bristol Rovers 63/ Bristolâ€™s Newest Sport Craze: Roller Derby 66/ Bonkers For Conkers 70/ Bristolâ€™s Hydrogen Balloon Race
Bristol Rovers – The Right Way! My old man is a life long Bristol Rovers fan. Since he was a slip of a lad he has supported the boys in blue so when it came to deciding my footballing allegiance, I had no choice in the matter, no choice whatsoever; I was a gas head! ‘Them’s the rules’ and I have stuck by them through thick and thin. At times they have disappointed and frustrated, at times they have made my heart burst with pride and elation…such is the journey, such is the beautiful game. It’s a long and sometimes difficult ride supporting your local team and one fewer and fewer people seem to be doing what with the advent of Sky Sports and global merchandising. Premier League football clubs have become worldwide recognisable brands and they suck away support up and down the country, taking would-be devoted fans from the clutches of the lower league clubs and the result is diminishing numbers seen on our local terraces. You’ll never see me turn my back on the Rovers though.
I can’t see the likes of Manchester United or Liverpool play down the road every week so what’s the point? The local boys are mine, and so that’s where you’ll see me, rain or shine, win or loose, on the terrace at the Memorial Stadium. After following Bristol Rovers for over 20 years, one fateful Saturday morning this season, me and my dad got to experience first-hand the more decadent side of the game – a reward to ourselves for loyalty if you will! For £50 a ticket we arrived onsite at 12pm and were treated to a tour of the stadium before settling in to have a few drinks. Long before the crowds started to build up we sat eating a beautiful 3 course buffet lunch in the warm: Canapés to start, a winning roast for main and a massive choice of seven deserts for pudding. So satisfied with the food I could feel a little nap coming on but all thoughts of that banished as I glugged the last of my drink and headed out to watch the game in the Blackthorn Stand, in a box no less! During the match I looked over at my usual seat – did I miss it? Well, a little, if I am honest but that’s banter related and nothing else, the view from these boxes was tremendous! Half-time drinks were pre-ordered
so there was no queuing and with access to TVs to see what was happening in the rest of the league, I was in footy heaven! For Rovers nuts like me and my dad this simply could not have been a better day out! Well, a 5-nil result would have really topped it off but you can’t have everything! “It’s only a good day if The Gas win, otherwise it’s rubbish, even if the food is great,” jokes Ian Holtby with me, the Memorial Stadium Manager, who takes the time to meet and greet every single person here. It’s great to see that the people who work here love this club just as much as everyone else in the ground. The experience here is phenomenal; the food great, the service polite and courteous but most of all you get to be part of the gang, part of the team, and that’s what this is all about! To celebrate the launch of a Sports Listing Section on www.bristollistings.com, Bristol’s number one listings website are giving away a signed Bristol Rovers football for 1 lucky reader. For a chance to win log on to www.bristollistings.com and hit the WIN tab. Good luck! www.bristolrovers.co.uk
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Get Your Skates On For…
!Bristol Roller Derby!
Fishnets, hot pants and roller skates – just some of the ingredients that make up ‘Roller Derby’ – the female-only, full-contact sport which is taking Bristol by storm.
Fast, furious and aggressive, Roller Derby is described as a mix of speed-skating and rugby, but without the ball. The sport was first popular in 1930s America and has recently seen an international revival thanks to Drew Barrymore’s directional debut film, ‘Whip It’. Bristol Roller Derby, whose league name is the Bristol Harbour Harlots, was started earlier this year by New Zealand-born Anna Wong; “I used to play back home and really wanted to start skating again when I moved to the UK. There was definitely a demand for derby in Bristol but no one was sure what to do about it. When I realised that I might be the only roller girl in town, I knew I had to step up to really make it happen.” Roller Derby consists of two teams skating around an oval track with one player, the ‘jammer’, trying to lap the opposing team ‘blockers’, who can stop them using almost any means necessary. Injury is highly likely even with full protective gear but bruises and ‘rink rash’ are worn with
pride. Players also take on alter egos and pseudonym names like ‘Anna Mocity’ and ‘BootyVicious’. Anna, whose skating name is Wonton Destruction, said; “Roller Derby has all the kitsch sex appeal of a burlesque act with the same fierce athleticism of any contact sport – people either want to see it or be part of it. I’ve been so amazed at how popular it’s been, especially considering that most of our skaters had never met before they started training. I think part of its appeal is that it is incredibly sociable and open to everyone – no matter what size, shape, fitness level or background.” And it shows. Team members stretch from 18-40+ with everyone from teachers to trainee midwifes, and PR executives to paramedics taking part. Many of the girls who play roller derby see it as a way to leave their ‘real lives’ behind. They fully embrace the alter ego side of the sport and dress the part with fishnets and raunchy outfits. Laura Richardson, 24, a project manager from Clifton, said; “I have always had a thing about nontraditional sports and played ultimate frisbee at university. I love how full on derby is and that it’s a female sport where you get to kick some butt! It doesn’t matter what shape or size you are and no one sort of girl skates. I also love the fun theatrical side to it – getting to create a persona and just let loose!
“One amazing thing to come out of getting involved in derby is all the fantastic skaters I’ve met. We have such an amazing mix of girls and I have made so many new friends all whom I would never have met if it wasn’t for our shared passion for derby.” Jennifer Ware, 25, a PhD student from Horfield, agrees; “It’s pretty goddamn exciting! And there’s a really fierce sense of team spirit. We’ve built this league up from the ground ourselves - every girl has been involved every step of the way, from choosing a team name to designing the league logo to organising fundraising events. There’s a definite DIY ethic. The fact it also does wonders for your ass is an added bonus. Plus we get to wear the cutest little outfits!” The sky’s the limit according to Anna, who said; “We’re getting ready for our first challenge bout in December but beyond that, who knows? My personal wish list includes a permanent visa to stay and coach our own private training facility and skate school, junior derby, an official fan club, trading cards, and a reality TV series!” Bristol Roller Derby practice every week at St Pauls Sports Centre. For more information visit the Facebook group or email firstname.lastname@example.org Brooke Nolan Photos by Sarah Margarette Boyce
Bonkers For Conkers SY has a foreign writer, a foreign writer who has been asked to write an article about conkers, or more specifically, conker fights - the problem is I have no idea what conkers are! You see I have lived in the UK for quite a few years now and while I’ve have been introduced to the joys of many a British tradition (everything from Yorkshire puddings to poppies), I’ve never heard of conker fights. Who enjoys conker fights? Where do you get conkers? Should I be concerned by the violence involved? Some serious research quickly ensues then (this mainly consists of facebooking some English friends for clarification) and the reality of conker fights reveals itself not to be at all violent but very, very appealing: Conkers are just the seeds that fall from horse-chestnut trees! Kids, my friends explains with a tinge of nostalgia, used to pick the strongest and biggest seeds from the ground and thread a string through them. They would then take turns hitting each other’s and the owner of the first one to break, lost. Although I missed out on this very English tradition myself, I don’t have problems imagining kids going out with their mums to pick conkers and dads giving armchair technical advice on
which conkers are most suitable and how to make them stronger (putting conkers in the oven or soaking them in vinegar worked well my friends reminisce). I can also vividly picture not being able to wait to meet friends in the playground to battle it out in the school conker league, desperate to win a contest as simple as it is enjoyable. What my friends described seemed like the childhood pastime gem, an activity that oozed the essence of what we remember having as children and now donâ€™t have anymore: the ability to turn absolutely anything into pure fun. The research deepens and I ask if anyone actually fights with conkers anymore? Some friends were sad to say they had never actually taken part in a conker fight, even if the concept was an indispensible part of their childhood memories. Do kids still fight with conkers today in the playground? Come to think of it, when was the last time you actually saw a conker? No-one seems sure. What is going on - have the health and safety brigade wiped out this timeless British schoolboy tradition? Almost definitely. Well them, or Call Of Duty online. Either way, the comeback starts here! Hot on the heels of the Take That reformation, the return of starship Enterprise to our big screens and the rejuvenation of vinyl, conkers are back! By 2011 I want every schoolkid from here to Chippenham bashing all kinds of crap out of each otherâ€™s nuts. It needs to happen. Kids need to recapture that unparalleled joy of aimlessly running about and making games out of anything; they canâ€™t grow up knowing less about conker fights than a foreign SY writer. Anna Leon
Itâ€™s better by bike As a brand new spanking student to Bristol you will quickly realise we are not quite like anywhere else, think of us a little more like Paris or Amsterdam than Liverpool or London, laid back, relaxed, considerate of the environment and a penchant for the two wheeled mode of transportation ... Why? Well why not, Sustrains was born here, we are the first cycling city and when the local bus company (who are we kidding?... global bus corporation) tried to take over a much loved idyllic cycle route the entire city turned out to protest. Yep, we love our bikes and with new and improved routes in and around Bristol its now even easier to zip backwards and forwards into college, beating traffic and solving both the parking and pound problem. So off you go, get a bike, in fact we are going to bring you news on a fantastic new bike buying scheme next issue ... watch this space and in the mean time thereâ€™s an online journey planner and maps to help you find your way around on the Better by bike website www.betterbybike.info
Come Fly With Me, Let’s Float Down To Brizzle Want to get high? Well try hydrogen. Bristol was full of the stuff recently as it hosted a very prestigious hydrogen balloon race. Supported by The Duke of Edinburgh and Sir Richard Branson, ‘The 54th Coupe Aeronautique Gordon Bennett Race’ took off from Ashton Court at dusk on Saturday 25th September and hit the skies for 3 days straight. The idea is simple - once the balloons are filled up with ‘H’, all you have to do is travel the largest distance away from Bristol, easy! Err, not really because the 22 teams competing had to “go for thousands of miles crossing several countries”, Sir Richard Branson. Excuse me, there’s also the problem of a small wicker basket being the only thing stopping you blowing away towards the heavens quicker than Miss Monroe’s frock! How did they not just float anywhere you ask? Controlling the balloons involves releasing gas to go down and throwing out sand to go up - bucket and spade sales skyrocketed. However, Sir Richard
Branson said himself how difficult balloons can be and was “watching the live tracking on the website with great interest.” Inevitably one supposes there had to be domestic tribulations. Think of the things that most of us land farers take for granted - no computer for 3 days, thank heavens for mobile twitter! Despite all of the hardships involved the British team were confident! Mainly thanks to their win in 2008 where David HemplemanAdams and Jon Mason reached over 1,000 miles from New Mexico to Lake Michigan, blowing away the competition in three days. Colin Butter and Janet Folkes joined David Hempleman-Adams this year taking to the Avon skies once more for the pride of Britain. Who knows where they ended up this time? Portugal? Peru? Portishead? Hip Hip Hydrogen-Hooray! Richard Entwistle
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Treat Yourself Information and musings on the splendid things in life: Food, drink and fun days out. To advertise in this section at a reduced rate please contact firstname.lastname@example.org
75/ Autumn Activities 78/ The Harbourside â€“ The Waterfrontâ€™s Latest Ace Addition 81/ Bristol Scrumpy Challenge! 84/ Bonfire Nights 87/ Gluttony 91/ Welcome New Students of Bristol
12 Fun Things To Do on A Cold, Dry Day in Autumn Bristol Zoo and Botanical Gardens
Despite your best efforts to ignore the inevitable, sooner or later you’re going to have to face up to it: The nights have been drawing in for some time now, late June in fact, and there’s an unmistakable chill in the air. I expect you’ve put on a jumper a few times, and maybe even a coat. Yes, autumn is upon us, but take heart, for there are plenty of great things to enjoy at this time of year. The weather is still pleasant and the lowering sun bathes us in glorious rich hues of colour. Here are a few ideas to make the most of the autumnal sunshine:
A beautiful place at any time of the year, but autumn is when this spot is at its stunning best. It’s a feast of picture book autumnal colour. A few hours among this great collection of trees will bring out the David Bailey in you. A bit of a drive, but worth it.
When was the last time you went to the zoo? It’s great, especially with kids. Bristol Zoo is completely ethical and by visiting you will be helping schemes that help endangered animals and environments. The enclosures are amazing, and the gardens are spectacular.
It gets taken for granted somewhat, but the Clifton Suspension Bridge is one of this country’s most impressive and iconic pieces of architectural engineering, designed by one of the country’s most famous men. With great views of the Avon Gorge, the bridge is always worth a visit, especially if you incorporate a walk around Leigh woods into your visit, the autumnal display of colours and scenery will astound you.
Ashton Court Mountain Bike Trail
An easy going trail to get the blood and adrenaline pumping. Nothing too fearsome, but a fun way to get out on your bike and give it some! Part of the Avon Timberland Trail, which incorporates a larger and in places more challenging circuit.
For a more stately way to enjoy the crisp air, and take in some views of the city from a different perspective, take a cruise up the Avon Gorge, or just use the local harbour ferry service and call it a cruise.
Stuffing Your Face
After that, or maybe after a stroll around the arboreal waterside feasting your eyes on the autumnal grandeur, you can feast your stomach at one of the many fantastic eateries in the area. St Nicâ€™s market always makes me hungry whenever I pass, the smells are enticing. From goat curry to Moroccan stews right through to good old cheese on toast, thereâ€™s something for everyone. 76
SS Great Britain
Hardly in need of an introduction, another of Brunel’s famous and iconic masterpieces. With so much history attached to it, this magnificent ship is deeply entrenched in Bristolian heritage.
The Bristol to Bath cycle track is a lovely route that features stunning scenery throughout; a bit lengthy maybe but a great way of enjoying the crisp outdoors. If you don’t feel like doing the entire length, you can always do a smaller section.
650 acre parkland with 5000 years of history. Steeped in folklore and legend this is well worth a visit on a fine day. Ancient monuments, a wooded gorge, historic buildings and a marvellous view from one of the highest points around await you.
Oh, how we love a good ramble. If you have means of transport, the surrounding areas offer some fantastic hiking country. The Mendips are always popular with their low hills and dramatic gorges. The Cotswolds offers some prime rambling opportunities too, as does South Wales. Get out and commune with nature.
For the more adventurous, there are organised rock climbing sessions around the Avon Gorge area. In the shadow of the suspension bridge, what could be more picturesque? Indoor rock climbing is available at the St Werburghs climbing centre, just in case it rains.
A classic Autumnal activity which should not be overlooked. The simple pleasure of harvesting food straight from the hedgerows can be highly addictive and brings out the dormant hunter-gatherer in you. Keeps the kids busy and the resulting jams/crumbles/ tarts are delicious. Don’t wear white tops though. Gustave Savy Illustrations by Louisa Christodoulou
Bistro Bistro atat The The Harbourside Harbourside Bristolâ€™s harbourside on a Friday night is an overwhelming place. Women with painted faces like china dolls and short skirts stretched taut across cellulite thighs totter on cobbles to the raucous fleshpots which line the waterfront. It wouldnâ€™t exactly be the top of the list if I were going to open a restaurant-cum-bar with an ambitious menu. But there is a growing interest in regenerating the harbour area and The Harbourside is an attractive view of the future. Inside, it is a tastefully executed melange: polished concrete bar, candy-cane poles, bare wood shelves and plenty of junk shop chic scattered around. Service is attentive and charming, and very much in the modern mold - find a table and order at the bar. You get the sense that the staff genuinely enjoy the place, and genuinely like the food. As is the fashion, the menu is based on small tapas sized portions with three main courses and two puddings for bigger appetites. The food is, I suppose, modern British with the usual global influence. We honed in on the more ambitious dishes on offer. They didnâ€™t disappoint.
Spiced Cornish crab and a glass of bloody mary was the stand out - the crab is well dressed and served on small toasts, while the bloody mary had been deconstructed - a shot glass of tomato essence sits alongside a single skinned cherry tomato steeped in Worcestershire sauce. It was all intensely tomatoey and playful. A whimsy, yes, but one with substance. We shared a main, selecting the intriguing ham hock kiev. What came out of the kitchen was certainly not a kiev, but it was bloody good, and generous at that. Essentially, a ham hock terrine had been wrapped in a slice of bread and then fried, working well with the sweet-sour courgette fritter and the pea pod sauce. To finish we took one desert each. My strawberries and parfait were just right, competently put together and served with a shot of strawberry juice. Across the table, toffee apple and salt crumble with custard was pronounced ‘delicious’, and was. Proper crumble, properly made and with a tantalising dose of salt, it was the highlight of a very good meal. The kitchen is trying hard here and it shows. Some have said that the food is too ambitious for the city centre, but the crowds say otherwise. At the price, I’m not surprised. The bill - small plates: £2-3.50, mains: £7-8, desserts: £4. £38 for two, including drinks and service. Here’s hoping their influence will spread, developing Bristol harbourside into the place it should be. Sam Leach Photos by Legion Campbell-Clark
Cider House Rules Scrumpy: the staple drink of the South West and Bristol. Though in recent years it has flirted with further shores, it has never been truly understood except for in its own motherland. You’d think that after all these years this ancient past time would be going out of fashion but no longer is scrumpy confined to being the drink of flat-capped tweed wearing working class gents, everyone in Bristol is on it! Scrumpy these days it seems will never be extinct. Certain ciders have an almost iconic status amongst social groupings while others are thought of with more an air of contempt from those pondering what the substance has done to them the morning after the night before. But perhaps now in our modern age, cider and even scrumpy can be held in the same regard as say a fine wine? For instance, Bristol’s harbour side venue, The Apple, is certainly more wine bar in character than cider house.
It is in this spirit that Suit Yourself set off on a pilgrimage across scrumpy’s maiden city of Bristol, taking in real cider houses in the spirit of finding the south west’s finest apple-juice. Taking a crack team of tasters including an animator, photographer, carpenter, insurance salesman and graphic designer through 5 watering holes in the pursuit of true scrumpy; this is SY’s salute to all things cloudy! We would start at Clifton’s Coronation Tap and work our way through the city centre before arriving/stumbling in at The Bristol Cider House in St. Paul’s. Of course a visit to
the Corrie Tap can never be truly complete without a dabble with Bristol’s Old Exhibition; a tipple that has become so renowned for it’s mind expanding effects the establishment out right refuses to serve it in pints. So we ordered two halves each and got on our way. The initial sharpness of a true cider is a barrier many have to break through in order to get closer to the sensations and understanding. Scrumpy is a drink to be enjoyed responsibly, too much will end your night prematurely as all too many learned on our journey tonight but just the right amount can set it on fire just
like your guts after a pint of Cheddar Valley. Our trip would take us through Clifton, we tasted the subtle sweetness of Aspalls and followed it up with the deceptive Old Rosie at The Clifton. This of course was all before arriving at in my opinion the Mecca of scrumpy for Bristol: The Bristol Cider House. At this point in the evening many were already feeling worse for wear but still we plodded on. The house serves a variety of up to 8 scrumpys as well as a variety of more popular mainstream ciders for those who can’t hack the real tipple. With the ciders constantly on rotation and with popular favourites such as Mole’s Black Rat permanently available this is the perfect place for us to end our journey. So just what after all this did we exactly learn? Well, some judgments may be impaired but here’s our personal summary of Bristol’s best ciders:
Adam Hooper Photos by Laura Palmer
3 Word Description out of 5
The Coronation Tap
Dry, Bitter, Sharp
The Coronation Tap
Strong, harsh, sickly
The Coronation Tap
Sweet, easy-going, subtle
Sweet, mellow, smooth
Sharp, Harsh, Raw
The Royal Oak
Cloudy yellow/ orange
Tasty, acidic, bitter
The Bristol Cider House
Soft, Good, Quenching
The Bristol Cider House
Sharp, Smooth, acidic
The Bristol Cider House
Rough, kick, spicey
Poor old Guy Fawkes. All he tried to do was rid the country of corrupt politicians. I heard that the whole thing was a cover up, Guy Fawkes had discovered certain discrepancies in the 17th century political expenses system, and the then government needed to keep the story quiet. Actually, Britons have celebrated at around this time of year with fire rituals since long before Guy Fawkes’ time. Celtic traditions saw the sacrifice of human offerings to deities during the festival of Samhain, as the land passed from the powers of light to dark in return for continued water, health or crop growth. Our burning of an effigy of poor old Guy is merely the most recent manifestation of a tradition that goes back centuries and at one time involved not an effigy, but a real living person. In fact, I’ve read speculation that
the word bonfire is a derivative of bone fire, for when the Saxons invaded they were amazed at the amount of human burnings they encountered. Despite its macabre origins, bonfire night is a great public festival. Maybe it’s not quite the same as the Spanish Carnivals, or the Mexican fiestas, but it is a time when the community comes out en masse to gather around a focal point and enjoy themselves. We should make the most of it, because we don’t have too many in this country. Whatever you celebrate - Guy Fawkes, Pagan rituals or whatever, you can be sure of a great time. Gustave Savy
“Be not among winebibbers; among riotous eaters of flesh: for the drunkard and the glutton shall come to poverty.” So said Proverbs 23:20-21, and let that be a lesson to you. Saint Thomas Aquinas, the levitating priest of Sicily took a pretty hard line on what constitutes gluttony, and it is a line which I have most certainly crossed. There are, said Aquinas, six ways in which one commits gluttony: eating too soon; eating too expensively; eating too much; eating too eagerly; eating too daintily; eating wildly. I don’t know about you, but that sounds like an average meal in my household. So are we going to hell? Probably yes: my sloth and wrath alone is probably enough to tip the balance, even leaving gluttony aside.
So, with destiny inevitable, we can relax into our gluttonous habits? Well, yes, although there’s always something to take the edge off your overindulgence. Let me explain the consequences of overindulgence…
Meat Hangover We all know about an ethanol hangover, right? It
takes a pretty hungry carnivore to experience the meat equivalent, but it manifests itself in much the same way. Though with generally more sweat. Do you feel full at breakfast time? Are you soaked in sweat and mildly feverish? Are there accompanying bowel weaknesses? You’ve got a meat hangover, my friend. Please refer to Proverbs 23:20-21 you riotous eater of flesh.
It is my estimation that 50% of people reading this (type A) will have no idea what I’m talking about, and the other 50% (type B) will see a knowing smile flicker across their gluttonous jowls. When a type B eats cheese (I mean a good quality, extra mature cheddar) a very strange thing happens: on the bags beneath the eyes, a little patch of perspiration appears. It’s an odd place for it to happen, but for a type B the eye bag is the very epicentre of the cheese sweats. From here - with continued consumption - the sweat will spread via similarly esoteric spots (...temples, top of forehead, behind the ears, bottom lip...) until the visage is dripping like a squeezed sponge.
It is difficult to see quite how eating daintily could be considered a vice, or at least it was until the cupcake fashion made its sticky way over the Atlantic. These dainty but ugly creations are a sugary weapon, and even the slightest overindulgence will result in the twitchy, headachy, fuzzy head feeling of a sugar high. But of course we cannot aim the blame directly towards these saccharine sponges; indulge too heavily in any sweet things - daintily or not - and you will feel the creeping fuzz of the high.
For most coffee lovers, you’d have to drink a lot of coffee before you start shaking. Well I’m not a great coffee lover, so when I was handed - during my first flirtations with coffee - a triple shot flat white, it was a not a pretty sight. My eyes yawned like dinner plates, my skull ached and fingers shook like a man on the earthquake simulator at the science museum. But if you know your limits (a half shot diluted into a hot chocolate) you’ll be merely humming like a merry bumblebee.
So everything in moderation, then? Careful application of edible stimulants? No sir. I’ll see you in Hell, Aquinas, because moderation will deny a person that which is most important to a glutton - the drum tight, ribshattering fullness that says “that’s it, you’re full”, and without that, how do we know we’ve eaten enough? Sam Leach Illustrations by Laurie Stansfield
15 Must Do’s For New Students in A new autumn in Bristol brings with it some fresh breezes as well as a fresh bunch of fresh-faced students. May I be the first to congratulate you on your choice of city to study in; congratulations and welcome. Getting to grips with a new city can always be difficult. What you need is some sort of funky, free magazine to helpfully lay out a list of fifteen or so places to visit and things to do in your first six months here. Yer, something like that would be good. Well looky here…!
1. Must Visit the Clifton Suspension Bridge Isambard Kingdom Brunel’s postcard picture bridge spans the Avon Gorge and really lives up to its spectacular reputation. A very good introduction to the city this.
BRISTOL 2. Must Walk along the Harbour You’ll soon learn that a lot of Bristol’s life revolves around its Floating Harbour. You would do very well to get to grips with all the fantastic pubs, cubs, cafés, restaurants and characters that line its banks.
3. Must Drink Cider, Drink, Drink and then Drink some more Cider Hidden away in Clifton’s backstreets, the Coronation Tap’s legendary cider is so strong it can only be served in half pints - the ultimate student piss-up! The Apple in town too is every cider lover’s dream (no, not the one where you go apple-bobbing for boobs).
4. Must Go Shopping on Gloucester Road
Europe’s longest stretch of independent shops is a student’s paradise. If you can’t refurbish your flat, eat for 3 weeks and jazz up your entire wardrobe for less than £5.20 then you’re not looking hard enough.
5. Must Get a Bicycle (and a Good D-Lock) The only way to travel around Bristol that’s worth its salt is on two wheels with your feet frantically pedalling in the middle. Get used to it.
6. Must Party aboard Thekla is a club on a boat!
Yes, the rumours are true – there And it’s brill! Thekla is Bristol’s best club, Bristol’s best gig venue and one of Bristol’s best bars all rolled into one. Check it out. Check it out a lot.
7. Must Chill Out on Brandon Hill
Brandon Hill is massive, hilly and totally awesome. You’ll be rewarded for scaling its steep slopes with stunning views and, if you’ve been good, an icecream.
8. Must Eat a deliciouolsy delicious pie at Pieminister If it’s good enough for the Queen, this smashing mash and pie shop in Stokes Croft and St Nick’s Market is good enough for you.
9. Must Stare in Wonder at a Hot Air Balloon Balloons are kind of a big deal here. You will see them up in’t sky a lot and every time you do, you will feel a twang of awe and jealousy.
10. Must Visit Stokes Croft’s Outdoor Art Gallery Every wall, lamppost, doorway, pavement and vagrant in Stokes Croft is covered in all kinds of colourful, constantly changing graffiti. Very fun and very inspiring. Please don’t turn up in that new Banksy T-shirt you bought off the internet though - not cool.
11. Must Cure late night Munchies in Magic Roll Yes! Everyone loves this food outlet on Clifton Triangle. Massive wraps that you can stuff with anything and they always taste delicious.
12. Must Dance Your Ass Off in Propaganda DJ Dan nurtured this indie club night from Bristol’s tiny, dingy clubs into the biggest night out in the country. In Bristol it currently resides at Syndicate every Wednesday night. If you’re a new student, you will go here. You will go here a lot and you will love it.
13. Must Watch a Film at the Watershed
Bristol’s superb independent cinema always has something excellent on and keep a keen eye on the extra special festivals they programme. Film-riffic.
14. Must Eat too much at Pizza Planet
I would say it’s “out of this world good”, but that doesn’t do the place’s food and atmosphere justice. That and the joke’s just lame.
15. Must Hop on a train to Bath
It’s just so close and it’s definitely worth a visit because, well, it’s Bath! Matt Whittle Photos Alex Nicholson
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Enjoy Yourself Information and musings on the entertaining things in life: Music, clubbing, theatre, comedy, art, cinema and festivals. To advertise in this section at a reduced rate please contact firstname.lastname@example.org
97/ Pick of Bristolâ€™s Christmas Shows 101/ Creative File: Borai 105/ Pub! Pub! Quiz! 109/ Local Band Profile: Scarlet Rascal and The Trainwreck
It’s Bristol’s 2010 Christmas Shows! Oh no it isn’t! etc etc Every year around Christmas, just as much as we love stuffing our faces with cranberry sauce et al, watching abysmal TV, and humming along to tacky songs in supermarket queues, there’s another festive tradition that’s more fun than most – a trip to the theatre! Whether you’ve got kids, find usual stage productions too much of an effort, or are in fact a bit of a theatre junky, we all enjoy that extra special festive vibe that watching a Christmas show with friends and family can provide. Let’s see what the stages of Bristol have in store for us all in December 2010 then:
Tobacco Factory Theatre The Adventures of Pinocchio
The team behind 2008’s A Christmas Carol are back with the classic story of Pinocchio. Geppetto the Italian carpenter carves a block of wood into a puppet who will be the son he has always wanted but Pinocchio runs away on an epic voyage of discovery to become a real boy. www.tobaccofactorytheatre.com
Bristol Old Vic - Swallows and Amazons
Tom Morris takes us to an island of adventure where children and Amazon pirates become firm friends, enjoying long summers camping under open skies, swimming in clear water, fishing, exploring and making discoveries that are the stuff of dreams. Extra special also is the score for the show has been penned by none other than Neil Hannon of The Divine Comedy. Inpired. www.bristololdvic.org.uk
Bristol Hippodrome - Dick Whittington
If you crave a bit of over-the-top audience interaction, look no further than the local pantomime!!! This year’s extravaganza is Dick Whittington and stars lots of people who look sort of familiar off the telly – oh, and Barbara Winsor. If one panto a year’s not enough for you though, then pop across to bath for the Theatre Royal’s Aladdin. www.bristolhippodrome.org.uk
The Brewery - Peter’s Friends
Local magician Peter Clifford returns to The Brewery with more of his festive mind-melting magic. As funny as he is talented, this is magic at its most intimate and best and if you’re lucky, you might even go home with a present or two! www.tobaccofactorytheatre.com
Bristol Old Vic Studio - Boing!
If it’s shows for young children you’re after, BOV have again signed up the talents of the excellent local theatre company, Travelling Light. Their new show, Boing!, is about not wanting to go to sleep on Christmas Eve. There are too many beds to be jumped on, pillows to be fought with, ghosts to be hunted and seas to be sailed for sleep! The Tobacco Factory Theatre are also putting on a show for 3+ kids, the Grimm Fairy Tales’ Elves and The Shoemaker. www.bristololdvic.org.uk
Creative File: Borai, Producer and DJ
Creative File goes behind-the-scenes to talk with Bristol creatives in their own working space. This time, Borai steps up. Also known as Boris English, this cat has been a constant in Bristol bass music for more than a decade. Whether it’s dub, funky, grime, dancehall, house, juke or all the steps - Borai is always on point. So what do you do exactly? I spend most of my time writing music (lucky me...!) at home in my studio, or round someone else’s house/ studio if I’m working on a collaboration. I’ve recently been delving into mastering and dubplate cutting, helping out a friend who runs a small operation in Bristol, Dub Studio, and in return am being taught the finer points of the so called “Black Art”. Other than that I go to clubs/gigs that interest me and try to keep up with the housework! How did all of this start? When I was 15 I got a programme called Magix Music Mix, and you could arrange samples and loops into tracks (it was a start). I started DJing at about 16-17 when I got involved with a weekly DnB night at Bar Latino (now Crash Mansion) called Timecode.
It’s midnight, you’re clean out of ideas and have a pressing deadline - how do you find inspiration? Have a massive listening session, to all my vinyl or just some YouTube videos, smoke a bowl and chill out, no point in pushing for an idea as the best ones come naturally. Where do your ideas come from? I like to react to whatever I am listening to rather than construct the arrangement in my head before laying down a note. Has any one person particularly influenced you? No, but I would say “Bristol” and its musical output has influenced me greatly. Is there anyone you’d like to work with? Loads of people...too many to mention, but I’m up for offers! ;-) What do you enjoy most about making music?
The creativity. I don’t paint and I can’t write poetry, so being able to express myself (if only with a computer and some samples) is an important part of it. I also like the geeky side of things; the gear, the techniques and the general subject matter, it’s something I’ve done for years and seemed not to be able to stop.
How has Bristol influenced your music? In a big way, from the early More Rockers to the current output on labels such as Punch Drunk â€“ that, and its a nice place to live! Whatâ€™s so good about Bristol? Music, the docks, the Downs, Rooted Records, and the people....too much to mention. What should we look out for? Releases on Caravan Records, Apple Pips and more music than you can shake a stick at!!! Check Borai at Cosies the second Friday of every month: Dubstudio Sessions one month, Shanti Sound on the other (alternate months!) www.myspace.com/borai www.soundcloud.com/borai Elena Goodrum
The Passion Of The Quizzed There are many reasons to pop along to your local pub quiz: You can show off your surprising general knowledge skills to your mates, you can beat your neighbour’s pitiful attempts and earn some gloating time, and, of course, there’s the possibility of winning some FREE beer!!! But why, exactly, do we all love a pub quiz so much? As this age old question racks my brain (more than tonight’s history round at the local quiz), I scour the youth of today to decipher what really makes a good pub quiz… ‘A good intro round,’ is what Yaz Saedi wants to hear. ‘I only ever do well in the music rounds.’ The music section is definitely a biggy for us
tonight. This may be due to the interactive nature of it - i.e. not just hearing the quiz host monotonously reading out question after question whilst he slowly drinks himself in a stupor. However, it’s not so fun if the round just consists of clips of little known indie bands that the music buffs in the corner can smirk over or “classic” songs that have long outlived their play-by dates. Dave Gardner reckons ‘A nicely judged music round is always the key - not too easy but not too out there so it just annoys everyone apart from the pretentious quiz-questioner who reclines a little easier and take another sip of
Cab Sav.’ Dave also suggests that we need the chance of winning something even if your team wasn’t the top winner, ‘To ensure people keep coming back.’ As a regular pub quiz contestant myself, I know I have been satisfied with my ‘Runner Up’ prize – I don’t care if it was only Smarties, I worked damned hard for those Smarties and I deserved them! There are many elements to a good quiz but here I think we can conclude that 2 of the most important are a good and fair music round, and prizes for runners up. All we need now is a good pub, but where in Bristol hosts the best pub quiz? Well, there are a lot to choose from, that’s for sure. Alex Malpass likes The Lion in Cliftonwood for the quiz and the pub surroundings. Sam Bailey prefers the younger crowd at Start the Bus, whilst Tim O’Neill likes the quiz at Horfield pub,
Inn On The Green. Other notable suggestions include The Deco Lounge on Cotham Hill, Gloucester Road’s Prince of Wales’ fun quiz and The Shakespeare on Redland Road. Seeing as people covered most of Bristol with their suggestions, thankfully for me, there is no wrong answer for this question. We’re blessed with a plethora of quizzes across this city all varying in styles and clientel depending on where you head. Go to Clifton, and you might find a bit of a posher, more challenging quiz, head to Gloucester Road and it might be a bit more chilled out. Either way, there’s something for everyone. Now get out your Encyclopedias and start revising! It’s Autumn with Winter looming and it’s time for the great indoors! Harriet Robinson 107
The Adventures of PINOCCHIO 08 – December 2010 – 16 January 2011
“A terrific family night out that will have everyone leaving The Guardian (on Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves) the theatre with a skip in their step”
Suitable for ages 6+ Performance times vary. Please see website for details. Tickets from £7 Box Office: 0117 902 0344 Online: www.tobaccofactorytheatre.com Tobacco Factory, Raleigh Road, Southville, Bristol BS3 1TF
Scarlet Rascal And The Trainwreck have been making noise in Bristol since early 2009 and if you’ve ever had the pleasure, you’d think it was 1969. This is how a rock n’ roll band should be: Rough, raw and ragged at the edges. Having just made slight line-up adjustments, the now four-piece are back and better than ever. SY Magazine caught up with them at their favorite haunt, The Lanes, to discuss their raw, bluesy sounds. Starting off in college, guitarist/vocalist Luke Brooks and drummer Maya Indelicato got together, sharing the frustration of previous band experiences.
Casting off any complications, they went at it as a duo. “We kind of, like, stuck together,” explains Maya. Luke adds; “it was always me and Maya at the heart of it, we kind of just got rid of people until it was just us left.” When left alone in the rehearsal studio they clicked, fueled by their love of The Velvet Underground, Jimi Hendrix and Bob Dylan. Very soon they were getting out and giving people shows of un-reserved rhythms, electric shrills and wild vocals. 109
To the surprise of Scarlet Rascal fans, they have recently recruited two new members. More guitars are added by Richard Clarke and James Stockhausen is bringing the bass lines. “Things are opening up and they just keep flowing more. There is more personality in the band,” Luke explains. He gets bored easily and this restlessness is key to their music. The new guys are getting along nicely onstage; “I attacked James with my guitar, it was accidental... genuinely,” laughs Rich. Moments like these are a testament to their live show. New demos have been recorded at Peter Gabriels’ Real World studio; “They make sound effects there!” exclaims James, with wide enthusiastic eyes, and there are plans to go back and do more; “I think they call it an album,” jokes Luke.
Go to their myspace if you want but for now you will hear nothing, “You get a better impression watching our band live,” explains Rich. He is right, what Trainwreck create live could never be caught on tape and the rhythm section delivers that precise, punk punch that the garage guitars ooze all over. Varied and unpredictable is their stage show but they always deliver one hell of a performance. Keep your ears open for them. www.myspace.com/scarletrascal Chris Mulligan Photos by Jon Mulligan
Prepare Yourself Get yourself prepared for the months ahead. To advertise in this section at a reduced rate please contact email@example.com
113/ Auntie Harper Fields Your Questions 115/ Knit Your Own Scarf 118/ Mystic Gingerâ€™s Horoscopes
SY’s Agony Aunt answers your questions…
1. I saw my boyfriend on a date with another girl - what should I do? Do nothing! You’ve got no chance of getting him back anyway. He’s obviously going out with someone he considers to be better now. If you want me to set you up with a new boyfriend then my mate Barry will take you. He told me he’s always wanted to go out with a Susan Boyle lookalike. 2. I can’t find a job in Bristol for love nor money - help me Harper! I couldn’t give a shit if you get a job or not. All I care about is that £40 quid you owe me. You’ve got 24 hours to get the money to me or I’m getting the boys round. 3. How do you know if you masturbate too much? When you’ve got a broken wrist, a throbbing bell-end and a carpet covered in jizz. I think that’ll probably be a good time to knock it on the head for a while. However, unlike your mumma who can wank me off really well with a plaster cast on her arm. To put your queries to Auntie Harper’s sympathetic ear just email: firstname.lastname@example.org
Knit Your Own Scarf Like many Bristolians, I live on a hill. This means when I exit the pod with my beloved bike (almost always) I am immediately met with Sir Speed, a vigorous awakening when the temperature is low and youâ€™re still slumber warm. Speed makes you feel like a hero and tests your alertness and confidence with his force. Sailing down the hill on my skinny wheeled machine, the chill rides with me and I high-five the whistling one. Unfortunately however, I still behold an element of committal fear. Thus, the fluidity of the affair is punctuated almost systematically by my life preserving paranoia, accompanied shortly after by a screech of my back brake: EEEK!! But at least for a few seconds, every morning, I am invincible. My cranked up, 70s boiler-warm face repels the spiky cold and my rested and warmth oiled limbs defiantly beat the jacket potato lethargy that bitter weather induces. Regrettably my boiler/semi gutsy shield tends to peter out (normally at the corner of the next road, by Kwik Fit) and the cold predictably hits me on every excursion. Deep down, in the core of my being, icy blades play millions of
metal triangles inside me; I can hear the dinging now... I have a coat, gloves and a hat... but it is the backwards waterfall going down my neck that is the blighter. My heart is cold and I can’t swallow... extreme chills. Ugh....ugh. One word: SCARF. Yes! No! – don’t forget your scarf. Don’t leave it/lose it/tear it/ burn it – MAKE IT! The nice dinner lady at my Primary School, the one that also baked my birthday cakes, taught me knit. My mum was a teacher at St Peter’s and I was left in my empty miniature office every day while I waited for her to trust me to walk home alone. Mrs Golds taught me the easiest stitch, which is perfect for the scarf you can knit yourself right now.
Ingredients: • One/multiple balls of wool (depending on whether you want stripes) • Two knitting needles. The width of the needles corresponds to the level of tightness of stitch that you desire. So big needles create a looser stitch and would suit thick wool.
Method: 1) Tie an end of wool onto the needle with a simple knot. 2) Put your other needle through that loop. 3) Grab hold of the wool and wrap it around the needle that has gone through the first needleâ€™s loop. 4) Then flip the first needleâ€™s loop over its own head by using the second needle, going from underneath it and lightly pull. 5) This is your first stitch. 6) Repeat this putting one needle through a loop, twisting the wool around that needle and looping it off the top. If you want to make yours a stripy scarf, do so at the beginning of a row. Hold the trails of the colour not in use in your left hand and carry it loosely across the wrong side of your work. To work in the second colour exchange the position of the two yarns and continue in the usual way. When you get to the end of your scarf, simply cast off by knitting two stitches onto your right needle, then with your fingers pull the second stitch over the first and completely over the needle. Knit another stitch and repeat the process until you have one stitch left on the needle. Insert the end into the last loop and pull to tighten, and then cut the straggling end. Voila! Helen Martin Illustration by Amy Rhian
Libra: Romance for you, Libra, with an attractive physique and a good sense of humour. That’s what it says online. Later, romance has a cage of gerbils and surprising strong hands. Scorpio: You’ll have your cake and eat it this Autumn, Scorpio! Enjoy it, it’s all you get for ages. You’ll be able to play your ribs like a xylophone. Sagittarius: The sweat of hardcore German techno ravers is lucky for you this Autumn, Sagittarius, so lick as much of that as you can. Mmmm, salty. And slightly hallucinogenic. Capricorn: You’ll see your name in lights this Autumn, Capricorn. On Crime Watch, anyway, which is nearly as good. Your lucky accomplice: one-legged prostitute. Aquarius: Ooh, a tricky Autumn, as Mars, planet-ofthings-in-the-wrong-place rules your chart. Annoying when it’s your car keys, really horrible when it’s your intestines. Pisces: This Autumn you will learn the skill of cheesemaking. By which I mean that through a set of increasingly surreal circumstances, you won’t get a chance to wash. At all.
Aries: Think outside the box as much as you can this Autumn, Aries. If you don’t, you will forget the outside world and when they find you, you will beg to go back in. Taurus: A road rage incident this Autumn when the pavement says it hates you and tries to eat your feet. Strange, yes, but psychosis can happen to anyone, Taurus. Gemini: Duct-tape takes the words right out of your mouth this Autumn, Gemini. Or maybe it keeps them in? Either way, you don’t get to start up your whining again. Cancer: Lucky for you this Autumn: four-leafed clovers, leprechauns, finding a penny. Unlucky for you this Autumn, real life I’m afraid. Try to stay away from it. Leo: A lonely start to the beginning of the Autumn, but then a dead whale washes up near your camp, so you talk to that. Your lucky cave: flooded, I’m afraid. Virgo: This Autumn is a good time to do all the things you have been meaning to do. Do them now – in a couple of months it will be one blink for yes and two for no. And no one is listening.
Suit Yourself Magazine Issue 39 Editor: Matt Whittle / email@example.com Executive Editor: Faye Penfold / firstname.lastname@example.org Design and Illustration: James Penfold & Louisa Christadoulou / email@example.com Front Cover: Simon Mills All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced in whole or in part without the permission of Suit Yourself Magazine. Suit Yourself Magazine is an independent publication distributed throughout Bristol. Advertising Enquiries: firstname.lastname@example.org Contributors for Issue 39: Lisa Bartlett, Ian Bradley, Charley Brunskill, Natalie Burns, Legion Campbell-Clark, Lora English, Richard Entwistle, Anna Freeman, Elena Goodrum, Heidi Gough, James Harper, Adam Hooper, Sam Leach, Anna Leon, Sarah Margarette Boyce, Helen Martin, Becka Maskell, Simon Mills, Chris Mulligan, Jon Mulligan, Alex Nicholson, Brooke Nolan, Laura Palmer, Faye Penfold, Gemma Randall, Amy Rhian, Harriet Robinson, Gustave Savy, James Seymour, Annette Sloly, Laurie Stansfield, Fritha Strickland, Glenn Vowles, Matt Whittle, Gilly Woo
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