Remembering and forgetting!!! This continuing clash between two life sustaining forces! Yes, life sustaining! …Or life enhancing! Or life-destroying, depending on the perspective and the kind of balance between them!! Remember that night? Remember when words flying from your mouth into distances...became part of the expanding universe, grains of sand within galaxies, water drops into oceans, subtle sounds from turtle whispers, in the dark night?! Remember the feeling of their expansion and fusion into nothingness?! Remember that night when the wind became your only enemy, the wind that so abruptly took everything with it to unknown places? Places that had no name? Remember yourself running after the fading sensibility of the color, touch, silhouette, physical presence, shadow, or whatever is lively inside, whatever MAKES life what it is and has you standing? Remember you running after it from fear of losing IT, remember running after it to try to preserve the smallest image, feeling, memory? …to engrave IT in you?...Or to engrave yourself in it from fear of losing yourself? Remember being afraid of your feet getting paralyzed from fear of collapsing into disappearing grounds? Remember someone died from sadness that day and you wanted to have that memory in youso that you would never walk that road? Remember people collapsing from fear of NOT having contact anymore. Remember your deep need to get stronger that day when rain was coming down hard and washing everything away? Remember actually getting stronger because you felt the presence of something else making you stronger? WHY and for WHAT do you, divine fish, become stronger? Remember the falling...the continuous falling into stagnant states and remember your sweet madness pulling you out of those states, because you wanted to LIVE and LOVE-the clock’s second hand becoming the real Thing for you? Remember hanging from it to affect its speed? Remember looking from that spacious and macabre thing ‘suspended’ in the air, looking back through the big windows and seeing ONE moving by itself? Remember the deep desire to do the opposite- to look at that big white thing going away from you and never being affected even for a second? Remember the stoicism of your eyes, while crying from within, but still hurting whatever you love most out of LOVE—from necessity? … For what matters at the end of the day is the direction in which you travel or more precisely the orbit of it!!! One single step outside of that perfect orbiting distance and you freeze, or disappear into unknown spaces- spaces that have NO NAME...or simply move away from the SUN…how can spaces that are horribly distant from the SUN even have a name?...NO, I will not accept—it would mean to do great injustice to things that can shine- not everyone has the skin for that!!! Remember the flying, and the flying machines, and how your dreaming of them made their coming into existence possible? Remember the feeling? Remember when you melted and the floor beneath you shifted uncontrollably ...what exactly do you remember?!... Can you recall, fully and precisely, in the most faithful way what was actually felt? Oh how different we would be if we were able to store in our memory every single second of a day in a way that we are conscious of it and can recall all of that overwhelming experience all at once if we need too! How different then we would experience 'things' and phenomena and relate to them! How different would our relationship to everything be!!! Storing every single and smallest movement of the eye, movement of the blood, movement of the energy in our bodies...remembering every pull, push, contact, touch, resistance, ...remembering every single thought that crosses our minds and its effect on us...remembering every beginning middle and end of every small activity in its minutest detail... Remembering every little going-inside, inward, deep into deepness, at heart, towards it, towards the bottom, in IT, and discovering new things-things that otherwise would escape you in your finite experience...where does this strong desire to collect, store and remember come from? Is it just a necessary activity in order to stay alive, feel alive, and remain supremely sensitive? Do we have any idea about HOW and WHY the selection of precisely those seconds that get stored happen but most importantly why?! ...What do you do in order to capture and save 'majestic' moments- those that you live through so powerfully but yet are as fleeting as ever. Are then great and sublime things supposed to have an ephemeral nature.. how then do you 'capture' them--how do you make them come to you whenever you want them back?---Through Art-one whispers, the old turtle whispers, the seahorse sings- through art--through creation, through that eternal sublimation of the same 'material'---re-discovering in them what you need in them- a re-confirmation of the most beautiful feelings!-read somewhere about an artist who constantly reused his previous sculptures as the material for its next work because he did not have more materials----‘destroying’ your most loved thing in order to create an even more beautiful thing! Isn’t this then the supreme creative activity applied to Art and Life…’destroying’ the most beautiful things you have for you want to create and carve an even more beautiful thing out of them!! Higher and higher!...infinitely and eternally sublimating in order to feel FULL!
a...b...c...d...e...etc etc ...bullshit...just stare at the f..ing dots and find the f..ing meaning !!! ...or just f...ing fill them up...with juice!!! Just f...ing sing and dance with me...so that the damn sounds and movement might transform themselves into walking seahorses...and you get taller...and you can touch the sky- delicately!!!..for f..ing years to come! After all, what is and must stay supremely delicate needs to appear as a monster first!