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THE TABLE OF CONTENTS S E P T E M B E R 2 016 • S T U DY B R E A K S .C O M

ONLINE THIS MONTH PAGE 10

GROUP WORK

PAGE 14 Meet the students putting food on the (cafeteria) table By Daniel Enjamio

OFFICE HOURS

PAGE 16 One man’s glorious fight for better beer By Josephine Wer ni

UNIVERSITY REPORT

PAGE 18 The biggest news from colleges across the country By Danielle Wilk in son

STUDENT ISSUES

PAGE 20 Can universities be trusted to police themselves? By Amy Garc ia

WHAT’S YOUR MAJOR?

PAGE 22 This month, we’re studying Industrial & Organiztional Psychology By Maya Merberg

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THE MEAL PLAN

WHAT KIND OF STUDENT ARE YOU?

PAGE 24 The search for good instant ramen continues By Jessica Stowe

#COLLEGE HACKS

PAGE 30 Socialite, Bookworm, or Overachiever? Advice for all three By Samantha Gross & Lauren Diethelm

PAGE 26 #HomemakingHacks that will make you the next pre-jail Martha Stewart By Sof ia Rivera

HOT OR NOT

PAGE 42 Scenes from a zombie pub crawl in downtown Atlanta By Br it tany Garlipp

GAME THEORY

PAGE 44 Celebrating 20 years of Nintendo 64’s unlikely success By Al Vanderklipp

EXTRA CREDIT

PAGE 46 Julia Arden Dixon, the stylist and luminary behind Trash Vintage By Lind sey Davi s

MEET THE PRESIDENT

PAGE 48 UT’s Kevin Holgren talks short shorts and long bike rides By Al Vanderklipp

COLLEGE FOOTBALL 16 WAYS

PAGE 40 A confusing season broken down in an unconfusing way By Kevin Cordon

COVER SPOTLIGHT Photography: Vincent Gonzales @vinceoftexas Model: Christian Gonzalez @gonzalez_chris24


STUDENT EXHIBITION PAGE 12 By Rebecca F r iou

Meet Sarah Kohlbeck, photography student at Savannah College of Art and Design.

STUDYBREAKS.COM

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CONTRIBUTORS

AL VA NDERKLIPP @vanderdulpp University of Michigan Film & Political Science Game Theory Page 44

SOFIA RIVER A @sofiaesther8 Simmons College Spanish & Communications #CollegeHacks Page 26

REBECCA FRIOU @reb_el_ University of New Orleans Journalism Student Exhibition Page 12

DA NIEL ENJA MIO @denjamio Santa Fe College Communications Group Work Page 14

DA NIELLE WILKINSON @dwilko216 Purdue University Mass Communications Around Campus Page 18

A MY GARCIA @amy_michelle6 Johns Hopkins University Writing Seminars & Cognitive Science College Issues Page 20

MAYA MERBERG @mayamerberg SUNY Geneseo English & Philosophy What’s Your Major? Page 22

JESSICA STOWE @littlefoxink University of Texas at San Antonio English The Meal Plan Page 24

LINDSEY DAVIS Iowa State University English & Journalism Extra Credit Page 46

L AUREN DIETHELM @laurenmargarett UC Santa Cruz Literature & Classics What Kind of Student Are You? Page 34

SA MA NTHA GROSS Concordia University Irvine English A Day in the Life and Overachievers Page 34 & 38

MICHELLE CRIQUI @michellecriqui James Madison University English Meet the Bookworm Page 35

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JUSTIN LEAL @justleal Texas State University Photography Back to School Style & Extra Credit Page 37 & 46

NATALIE DYER @natdyerrr Colorado State University Music Composition Office Hours Page 16

MILICA TOLIMIR @militolimir Normandale Community College Photojournalism Student Exhibition Page 12

STUDYBREAKS.COM

BRITTA N Y GARLIPP @bgarlipp Savannah College of Art and Design Visual Communications and Photography Hot or Not Page 42

VINCENT GONZALES @vinceoftexas San Antonio College Photography What Kind of Student Are You? & Cover Page 30

CHRISTIA N GONZALEZ @gonzalez_chris24 Texas State University Photography Cover Model Page 30 & Cover

STUDENT WRITERS Study Breaks is written exclusively by a team of student interns from across the country. These writers work with the editorial team to pitch and submit one piece a week for the website, in addition to writing for the monthly print magazine. Fall internships run from September 28th to January 28st, and applications close September 14th. If interested, email editorial@studybreaks.com with “Student Writing Internship” in the Subject. Introduce yourself in the body, making sure to include your name, school and major. Please attach at least two samples of your work. Ideal writers are intelligent, funny and talented, though no formal experience is necessary.

SEPTEMBER 2016 //

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A NOTE FROM THE EDI TOR

BACK TO SCHOOL

Though my Norwegian heritage has instilled in me an ascetic’s allowance of vanity, once a year around September I allow myself to nibble on a salacious little bite of self-indulgence. As is the case with most of society’s evils, I place the blame largely on the fashion industry. In 2009, R.J. Cutler debuted a documentary called “The September Issue,” in which he profiled the acerbic editor in chief of “Vogue,” Anna Wintour. The matriarch of the most prestigious fashion magazine in the world, Wintour’s characteristic ruthlessness inspired the character of Miranda Priestly in Lauren Weisberger’s 2003 book “The Devil Wears Prada,” a character whose treatment of her subordinates borders on psychological abuse. In the documentary, Cutler uses the production of the magazine’s September issue as the vehicle through which the machinations of Wintour and the magazine writ large are revealed. The director chose the September issue because in the fashion

industry, it is the most important month of the year. Fashion weeks in New York, Paris and Milan all occur in September, and the month showcases lines for the fall and winter collections, seasons that traditionally offer more accessories and garments, meaning more advertisements, meaning more money, meaning more importance. In an instance of unrelated parallelism, September is also the most important month for “Study Breaks,” as it marks the first full month of students returning to campus. In much the same way Prada, Gucci and Yves Saint Laurent want into the September issue of “Vogue,” sandwich delivery services, vape shops and bargain retail stores want into the September issue of “Study Breaks,” and it is this groundless, insubstantial coincidence that fertilizes my yearly bloom of narcissism. Unlike “Vogue” however, our magazine faces an odd dilemma—there are very few “experts” on college life. “Vogue” has industry professionals, renowned designers and dedicated patsies like the one Stanley

Tucci endearingly portrays; “Study Breaks” has college kids. And while students know a lot about college, they are hardly experts, as they, amongst other things, have not yet finished it, and are thus severely lacking in the perspective department. Yet conversely, graduates have little hope of offering salient advice, as college (and the world) evolves so rapidly that any wisdom turns to dribble as soon as it’s proffered. So what’s a well-meaning magazine to do? Turn to the small cadre of individuals that are in the system, yet not quite of the system. Residence Assistants, Student Government officials, Academic Advisors—the small cabal that rubs its shoulders with the worlds both inside and outside of academia. They, no matter what your anarchist Philosophy major roommate says between bong rips, are the most knowledgeable conduits of collegiate advice. For that reason and more, we picked the brains of several of them, and have presented their words of wisdom to you on page 30. Should helpful advice not be your cup of tea, we also have a stunningly talented photographer from SCAD to deflate your Instagram-ego (pg. 12), an Anna-Wintourin-the-making in Texas State’s Julia Dixon, who makes up for what she lacks in savagery with talent (pg. 46), and an eye-opening perspective on campus justice from Johns Hopkins student Amy Garcia (pg. 20). Here’s to a new school year, hopefully the best one yet.

Editor In Chief

@MarkStenberg3

FOUNDER: GAL SHWEIKI, ART DIRECTOR: IAN FRIEDEL, EDITOR-IN-CHIEF: MARK STENBERG, SALES: GIL PETERS, GRAPHIC DESIGNER: BRYAN RAYNES, MARKETING: RALPH CHAPLIN, ACCOUNTING: ELONDA RUSS, DISTRIBUTION MANAGER: MARCUS FLORES, DISTRIBUTION: FRANK HARTFIELD, JOSE ESPINOZA, ERNEST WARD, PRODUCTION: SHWEIKI MEDIA, Study Breaks magazine is published twelve times per year by Shweiki Media, Inc. copyright 2012. All rights reserved. This magazine may not be reproduced in whole or in part in any form or by any means electronic or mechanical, including photocopying or recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system now known or hereafter invented without written permission from the publisher. Reproduction or use in whole or in part of the contents of this magazine or of the trademarks of Study Breaks Magazine, Inc., without written permission of the publisher is prohibited. The publisher assumes no responsibility for care and return of unsolicited materials. Return postage must accompany material if it is to be returned. In no event shall such material subject this magazine to any claim for holding fees or similar charges. Study Breaks Magazine is an entertainment magazine for the students of San Antonio, San Marcos, Austin and Lubbock, published 12 times a year. CORPORATE OFFICE: STUDY BREAKS MAGAZINE INC., 4954 SPACE CENTER DR., SAN ANTONIO, TX 78218 • CONTACT STUDY BREAKS: EDITORIAL: MARK STENBERG, 210-705-3284 EDITORIAL@STUDYBREAKS.COM • STUDY BREAKS MAGAZINE IS EXCITED TO HELP YOUR BRAND REACH OUR AUDIENCE THROUGH VIDEO AND WRITTEN CONTENT. SALES: RALPH CHAPLIN, 210-892-0951 | CONTACT@STUDYBREAKS.COM

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photo by ian friedel


STUDYBREAKS.COM

SEPTEMBER 2016 //

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ONLINE COLLEGE

Right Now at StudyBreaks.com ONE-LINERS

FROM THE VAULTS

“There was never much of a question who the ‘group mom’ was, at least.” August Wright, College of Charleston What It’s Like Going to College with Your Mom

INTERNET, CAN WE PLEASE RETIRE THE CRYING JORDAN MEME? Writ ten in Februar y by Imani McGarrell, it would appear as if the Texas State student’s impassioned plea has fallen on the cold, deaf ears of the internet; in fac t, Cr ying Jordan seems to be rising in popularity, finding its way to even more prominent platforms, a sad reality that, ironically, could be best expressed using the meme.

“I’m making ‘Hamilton’ puns, and I feel I should say that just in case somebody didn’t catch them.” Samantha Gross, Concordia University Is “Waitress the Musical” the Next Big Thing in Theater?

“’You know how there’s, like, a certain way to clean this?’ I’d yell to my mom from the kitchen. ‘Like a certain way, or just a certain way?’ she would respond.” Katie Hovan, University of Miami Language of Love: Life as the Child of an English Teacher

“My favorite response came from my friend’s dad, who asked me “So, what’s the plan? You gonna open a philosophy shop?” Tim Philbin, College of the Holy Cross SPOTLIGHT

In Defense of Uselessness:

THE PROS AND CONS OF GOING TO COLLEGE FOR FREE

Why I Am a Philosophy Major

Emily Suvannasankha, a student at the University of Central Florida on a full scholarship, makes the unpopular argument that free tuition may not be all it’s cracked up to be. If you make sure to check your envy at the door, the argument is an eye-opening one.

“Some people haven’t even thought about Christmas in weeks, if you can believe it.” Michelle Criqui, James Madison University The Perfect Movies for Celebrating Christmas in July

4 Animated Shorts to Watch

Analog On Jeremy Polgar

PostHuman Colliculi Productions

Super Turbo Atomic Ninja Rabbit Wesley Louis

Business Chicken Karl Pajak

ONLINE CL ASSES

THIS MONTH ON THE WEBSITE, LEARN HOW TO: (Kind of) meditate; go mildly vegan; safely play Pokémon Go; pretend to understand British politics; fall in love; watch live streams of unsuspecting Russians; enjoy the sting of rejection; apply for a PhD; care for your drunk friends; get a job on Tinder; form an opinion about mixology.

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“Monopoly Man” Paintings by Alec Monopoly


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SEPTEMBER 2016 //

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STUDENT SHOWCASE M EE T T H E A R T I S T

SARAH KOHLBECK

Kohlbeck at her house in Saint Paul

BY REBECCA FRIOU, UNIVERSITY OF NEW ORLEANS PHOTOGR APHY BY MILICA TOLIMIR, NORMANDALE COMMUNITY COLLEGE

Born and raised in Minnesota, SARAH KOHLBECK is a photographer currently based out of eastern Georgia, where she is majoring in Graphic Design with a concentration in Photography at Savannah College of Art and Design. From channeling creative endurance in Hong Kong to observing the simple life in Hawaii and Thailand, Kohlbeck has finally returned home to share details of her accomplished work and the secret to being a successful photographer.

REBECCA FRIOU: How did you get into photography? SARAH KOHLBECK: It started in high school when I took a Photography class freshman year. I continued taking classes and fell in love with the environment of it within my school. During my senior year, photography transitioned into a passion of mine. I began doing shoots, editorials and even some senior photos. RF: Did y’all use digital or film? SK: Both. We had a dark room where no one talked much; we just listened to music and developed our pictures—it was the perfect break in my schedule. RF: That sounds super relaxing. I’ve seen a lot of your work and know you shoot all different types of concepts, but do you lean toward a certain subject? SK: Portraits—hands down. I struggle with landscapes. I love being in places, but I love seeing people in places more. RF: What’s your favorite part of the process?

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SK: When you’re at a photoshoot, you sort of know which ones are going to be winners. The best part is the photos you didn’t even know you took that turn out better than the rest. RF: You spent a trimester in Hong Kong recently— how did

that influence your work? SK: Well for one thing, it was definitely a culture shock. While there, it was really hard for me to create. For example—when I’m home, I’m familiar with the location and subjects of my pictures, but this time I had to actively seek out new ideas

and people. For my class in Hong Kong I did a photo series called “Collecting Faces,” which was the hardest thing I’ve ever created. It proved that the more work I put in, the better the art will turn out. RF: On your website, you have a black and white Texas


photo series from your recent road trip—what inspired the collection? SK: It was a landscape-based project—basically a lot of first impressions. The drive from Austin to Fredericksburg was very Texas to me. RF: So why monochromatic? SK: My professor in Hong Kong gave us these filters for our camera lenses, so we could only shoot with a view of structural and geometric aspects. There’s a certain tonality photos possess that really hinders my ability to look past the colors and see the actual object I’m taking the photo of. Therefore, I intentionally shot in black and white because I wanted to be more honest and not just look at color coordination. RF: Now that you are back home, what are you working on? SK: I’m starting to work on my second phase of “Collecting Faces” which will feature only people from home. My work is always reflective of my life, so I want this sequence to show where I am now and the mood I’m in—although it’ll be a subtle change in feeling. I like to capture the in-between moments, because when you put a person in front of a camera they start posing. I like the raw moments where they’re unsure of what to do or how to look. RF: If you had to choose one for the rest of your life—film or digital? SK: Ahh! That’s a hard question. I did a workshop with the wet plate collodion technique, which was the first way to ever develop film. Most of the time the picture doesn’t even turn out, but it really helped me to appreciate film. With that said, I think I have to go with film. There’s something about the feeling of developing long forgotten pictures. It’s also ironic how we all shoot with digital STUDYBREAKS.COM

these days, yet we all edit our pictures to look like they were taken on film. RF: Dream job? SK: I definitely want a job revolving around layout design and photoshoots—hopefully with a magazine. RF: Advice for new photographers? What’s your key to success? SK: Look at more photographs. The more you observe, the more you know the do’s and don’ts, and the more successful you’ll be— it reassures you of your ability and talent.

From Kohlbeck’s “Texas” series

“Ellis, Thailand” from Kohlbeck’s “Collecting Faces” series

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GROUP WORK M EE T T H E C L U B

Several members of UF’s Gator Gardening Club

GATOR GARDENING CLUB THE FLORIDA STUDENTS TAKING FOOD INTO THEIR OWN HANDS BY DANIEL ENJAMIO, SANTA FE COLLEGE With over 30,000 undergraduate students, the University of Florida (UF) is one of the largest universities in America. A large student body means a diverse student body, which explains the array of student organizations that cater to any number of disparate interests. One such student group is the Gator Gardening Club, a group located on campus across from beautiful Lake Alice. As the university is located in Gainesville, Florida, the Gator Gardeners have the luxury of working with abundant natural resources. The club promotes sustainable agriculture and local food, and has established

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a community garden to allow UF students to grow their own produce. In addition to private use, the garden even contributes to the school’s food pantry on campus. Outside of cultivating their green thumbs, the Gator Gardeners also contribute to the community. They provide food to local soup kitchens and according to club advisor Anna Prizzia, host events that “bring awareness to the gardens and our local food system.” In doing so, they highlight local chefs and farmers that work with food in the community. Members meet weekly in the garden, and biweekly to

plan events. Some of the events include “Pickling Day,” which is centered on root vegetables such as beets and radishes, and “Philosophy and Coffee at the Gardens,” during which they discuss everything from genetic modification to the ethics of meat consumption. Gardening is a somewhat forgotten pastime for this generation, but the Gator Gardening Club wants to keep it alive for UF students. “We wanted to create a place where students could come and take a break from classes and get their hands in the dirt,” says Prizzia. The club places an emphasis on growing food without damaging the environment, which means club members are taught ways to farm responsibly, while also learning innovative gardening techniques for a developing world. Sustainable agriculture is important to these young people, and the passion they have for it is evident in their work. What started out as a small group with a common hobby has

turned into a club with dozens of members, all of whom set out not only to do something they enjoy, but make a difference doing it.

THE STUDY BREAKS

DOS SIER COLLEGE: The University of Florida # OF MEMBERS: 50 FOUNDED IN: 2014 GROUP PRESIDENT: Patrick Lynch TYPICAL MEETING: The club meets weekly in the garden, then every other week to chat about ideas for club activities, field trips and events. WHY JOIN? “I helped students start the club because they were interested in offering others the opportunity to grow their own food and were passionate about sustainable agriculture. We wanted to create a place where students could come and take a break from classes and get their hands in the dirt.” – Anna Prizzia, GGC Club Advisor


Many Americans take for granted the freedoms that we enjoy on a daily basis, but for Simrandeep (Sam) Sandhu, a first generation American, he seeks to give back to the country that has given him countless opportunities. Sam Sandhu is currently a junior at The University of Texas at Austin majoring in Finance at the McCombs School of Business and has chosen a challenging career as a Marine officer earning a spot as a Marine Corps Officer Candidate. Sam is currently attending the Platoon Leaders Class program, which consists of two separate six-week sessions of a physically and mentally demanding summer leadership program held at Officer Candidate’s School, Marine Corps Base Quantico, VA. Upon graduation from Officer Candidates School and The University of Texas, he will be granted the opportunity to accept a commission as a Second Lieutenant earning the title “Marine Officer.” It is this title, and the values which it carries, that are emulated and admired around the globe. It is values like this and the challenges we pursue which enrich our lives. Perhaps we can take a page from Sam’s book and make an effort to reach our own potential. –Semper Fi and Hook ‘Em Horns!

STUDYBREAKS.COM

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OFFICE HOURS M EE T T H E P R O F E S S O R

for local hops. The problem is that they can’t really get any consistent quality ones, because hops are primarily grown on the other side of our state, about five hours away. There is a local need here for a quality hop, and I figured I might be able to provide something like that.

DR. BILL BAUERLE THE MIRACLE WORKER MAKING CRAFT BEER CHEAPER, FASTER AND EVEN MORE FLAVORFUL BY JOSEPHINE WERNI, UNIVERSITY OF MINNESOTA TWIN CITIES

Dr. Bauerle, a Hor ticulture professor at Colorado State Universit y, recently pioneered a method of hydroponic hops produc tion. By creating the ideal ar tificial environment for their grow th, Bauerle has discovered a way to produce large quantities of high qualit y hops at 3-5x the regular har vest rate.

HYDROPONIC TECHNOLOGY ISN’T NEW—IT’S BEEN SUCCESSFULLY APPLIED TO OTHER TYPES OF CROPS SUCH AS HEMP. WHAT INSPIRED YOU TO TRY IT WITH HOPS? There are two reasons I had to try. First, we have a brand new, top-of-the-line horticulture green house facility here at Colorado State; and second, I really love craft beer. It’s very popular in Colorado, so the brewers themselves have a need

WHEN EMPLOYING TRADITIONAL METHODS, HOPS AREN’T REALLY USEABLE UNTIL THEIR THIRD HARVEST, CORRECT? HOW DOES THIS COMPARE WITH YOUR HYDROPONIC METHOD? Yeah, when they grow in the field, hops are starting from rhizomes, which are perennial underground storage organs. What happens is the organism has to build up carbohydrate reserves over time, so the first year there’s no yield. The second year there’s a yield, but not a substantial one. It’s not till the third year that they get a substantial yield. However, I circumvented that technique; I basically use canal-propagating material, so I literally have a full harvest in three-and-a-half months. HOW ECONOMICAL IS YOUR METHOD OF GROWING HOPS COMPARED TO THE TRADITIONAL ONE? There’s no question that greenhouses cost money. However, hops are grown differently in the green house. You can get three crops minimum per year, which is two more crops than they would have gotten in the field. They’re also growing at 10x the density and

yield essentially 300 percent more than normal methods. It becomes economically viable at that point, especially for what they call fresh or wet hops, which demand a much higher market value. HAVE ANY BREWERIES STARTED BREWING WITH YOUR HOPS? Yes, Odell Brewing Co. was the first and Course & Dragon is the second. WHAT FEEDBACK HAVE YOU GOTTEN FROM THE BREWERIES THAT ARE USING YOUR HOPS? The hops are welcomed because the quality is so much higher. Analysis of the chemical profile indicates that the levels of the alpha acids and essential oils, which provide the flavor and aroma, are nearly triple the average. The comparison is usually fresh herbs versus dried herbs, in that the method creates a flavor profile that’s much smoother. WHAT EFFECTS DO YOU THINK THAT THIS TECHNOLOGY WILL HAVE ON THE CRAFT BEER INDUSTRY? Because of the craft beer movement, demand for hops continues to lead on a linear ride every year, so this could help satisfy brewers’ needs. Craft brews also tend to be much hoppier than product made by large producers, which leads some micro-breweries to use as many as 5x more hops than their larger competitors. So craft breweries in particular can really benefit from this.

THE C.V. EDUCATION: B.S. in Landscape Horticulture at Colorado State University; M.S. in Environmental Horticulture at the University of Washington; Ph.D. in Horticulture at Cornell University NAME: Dr. Bill Bauerle

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SCHOOL: Colorado State

AREA OF RESEARCH: Plant Stress Physiology

WEBSITE: www.hoponics.com


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UNIVERSITY REPORT

AROUND CAMPUS THE BIGGEST NEWS FROM COLLEGES ACROSS THE COUNTRY BY DANIELLE WILKINSON, PURDUE UNIVERSITY

THE BUZZ

ON THE LIGHTER SIDE

Sexist Cheer Infographic

An infographic created by the University of Washington’s Athletic Department for prospective cheerleaders received negative backlash for being sexist. It was later withdrawn.

Dropping SAT Requirements

Banard College and Columbia University decided that the SAT Subject Test and SAT/ ACT essay score would no longer be required in their undergraduate applications.

Roommate Tinder

Renthoop, an app reminiscent of Tinder and created by Western Washington University graduate Paul Burke, is helping students find their perfect roommate quickly and easily.

Pot Sweetens for Sugar Babies

According to Sugar Baby University, over 1,000,000 college women and counting have become sugar babies to help pay for college expenses.

FLORIDA STUDENTS ARRESTED FOR FIRING BB GUN What’s worse than being arrested? Being arrested after getting recruited to play college football. Tyrie Cleveland and Rick Wells, incoming freshmen and new recruits for the University of Florida, were arrested on felony charges on July 18th. The duo fired BB guns at someone in the Keys Residential Complex on UF’s campus and shattered three windows. Although the incident is not expected to end their football careers, UF coach Jim McElwain promised there would be consequences.

WOMEN’S STUDY LOUNGE VIOLATES MEN’S RIGHTS

SPOTLIGHT

University of Michigan-Flint professor Mark Perry

According to a report by the Harvard Business School, a drop in applicants to universities may be correlated to how widely a university scandal is covered by the media. Research found that application numbers drop about 9 percent if a university scandal is covered at least 5 times by “The New York Times,” and 10 percent if it’s featured in a long magazine article. The report analyzed the coverage by “Rolling Stone” of Dartmouth’s hazing initiations in 2012, and subsequent 14 percent dip in applications by February 2014.

filed a complaint to the university in July, saying its exclusively female study lounge violated the civil rights of men. Though the women’s lounge has since been converted into a gender inclusive study area, Perry has continued to demand action for his grievance. The Communications Director for the Michigan Department of Civil Rights said no complaints had been previously filed.

COLLEGE UNVEILS PIZZA ATM Xavier University announced that it would be introducing a pizza ATM on campus this fall in one of its dormitories. Patrons will choose between pepperoni, cheese and veggie; once chosen, a 12-inch frozen pizza is moved into a convection

SENTENCE OF THE MONTH

oven, heated for 3 minutes and then dropped into

“By the way, if she gets to pick, if she gets to pick her judges, there’s nothing you can do folks. Although the Second Amendment people, maybe there is, I don’t know.” ~Donald Trump, addressing a crowd August 9th

the compartment for students to enjoy. Though still in the testing phase, the ATM is expected to be a big hit.

MEANWHILE, IN TEXAS NO SEXUAL ABUSE AT BAYLOR

UT AUSTIN CANCER RESEARCH

UT ARLINGTON LATINO RECRUITMENT

TSU PROFESSOR DISCOVERS C.S. LEWIS POEM

DRAKE IN KENTUCKY CLOTHING

UH PROFESSOR STUDIES LACK OF SLEEP

Head football coach Jim Grobe denies that there’s a “culture of bad behavior at Baylor University” after numerous rape allegations have arisen.

A team of Longhorn researchers are using microscopic sensors in hopes of more efficiently identifying and tracking cancer developments.

UT Arlington launched ApplyUTA, giving Latino students the opportunity to meet with faculty and learn about the college admission process.

Texas State University professor Steven Beebe discovered an unpublished poem by C.S. Lewis at Oxford University’s Bodleian Library.

Drake visited UT campus while wearing University of Kentucky clothing, resulting in several students playfully disparaging his worst fashion behavior.

University of Houston professor Candice Alfano discovered that sleep deprivation in children can lead to emotional disorders in adulthood.

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// SEPTEMBER 2016

Photo by: “Rolling Stone”


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STUDENT ISSUES

NO REST FOR THE INNOCENT WHAT THE MUHLENBERG HOUSING INCIDENT REVEALS ABOUT THE PROBLEM WITH CAMPUS JUSTICE BY AMY GARCIA, JOHNS HOPKINS UNIVERSITY

Two months ago, 39 female students at Muhlenberg College in Allentown, Pennsylvania, were blindsided when they discovered that they would be living in trailers this semester. The students were told that the new temporary housing was added after the school kicked a fraternity off campus

the offending fraternity brothers to the temporary housing, the school chose to migrate more than three dozen uninvolved female students. Students were unaware of the reasoning behind the decision, or even why the fraternity was punished in the first place, and the confusion led to accusations that the issue was mishandled.

“THIS MUCH IS SIMPLE: IF SOMEONE COMMITS A CRIME, THEY MUST BE PUNISHED.” for underage drinking, though rumors f lew that a young woman may have been drugged at a party. The suspended brothers were added back into the housing lottery, resulting in a shortage of available living space. Yet, inexplicably, instead of moving

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// SEPTEMBER 2016

The issue at Muhlenberg was hardly an isolated event though, as it belongs to a larger trend of universities mismanaging student discipline, which begs the question: When alcohol-related crimes occur on campuses, why do schools seem so woefully unprepared

to deal with them? This much is simple: If someone commits a crime, they must be punished. Following this logic, Muhlenberg punished the fraternity. But rather than have the rule-breaking brothers live in temporary housing, why did the university force uninvolved female students to do so? Unfortunately, the answer lies tangled in the complicated interplay between the consumption of alcohol and accusations of sexual assault. On its face, the solution again appears simple: If a student is sexually assaulted, the assailant should be punished. In too many cases, however, alcohol seeds (often unreasonable) doubt into the victims’ stories, and schools balk at the possibility of punishing an innocent student. In response, universities often resort to occupying an unpopular yet self-preservative middle ground—inaction as a means of avoiding an error (of commission). As a result, horror stories in which victims are denied justice abound. In 2013, an Indianapolis student discovered that her report of sexual assault the previous year had been immediately written off by campus police. In 2010, a Patrick Henry College student was told her sexual assault was her own fault for being alone in a boy’s room. As public outcry increased against such practices, the “Dear Colleague” letter emerged from the Department of Education in 2011, informing schools that the accused would be responsible if there was more than a 50.1 percent chance that the crime had happened. Following the letter, as schools wanted to avoid vilification in the media, outcomes shifted to favor the accuser. Though the change appears positive, it has resulted in an equally unjust trend in which schools now deny the accused their rights, an overcorrection once again committed in an attempt to safeguard reputations. In 2014, the unnamed accused at the University of San Diego was denied the right to present his own evidence at his own hearing, object to testimonies or allow his lawyer to speak. He was suspended for over a year.   Though the Muhlenberg case does not technically involve sexual assault, it is a prime example of why universities’ policy of self-policing will never work. The justice system is not funded by student tuition, but colleges are. So long as public relations are taken into consideration when discipline is involved, universities will err on the side of popular opinion. What gets lost in the balance is justice. Photo by: playbilledu.com


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WHAT’S YOUR MAJOR?

MYTH VS. REALITY

THIS MONTH, WE’ RE S TUDY ING:

INDUSTRIAL & ORGANIZATIONAL PSYCHOLOGY BY MAYA MERBERG, SUNY GENESEO

As learning about the inner workings of the human mind can be eye opening, psychology, an introductory class many students take as freshmen, is one of the rare general education courses that is actually pretty fascinating. Industrial and Organizational—or I-O—Psychology is for anyone who took one of these psych classes, thought to themselves “Nah, too interesting,” and then applied to study the most boring branch of the social science possible—issues in the workplace. As it turns out though, I-O Psychology is not only lucrative, it’s vital to modern business.

STARTING SALARY $65,000

MYTH: I-O Psych majors are enthralled with office life.

MYTH: I-O Psychology is a made-up/useless field.

MYTH: I-O Psych majors are just trying to get into your head.

TRUTH: Industrial and Organizational Psychology is much more about employee wellness and improving life for workers than it is about getting people to work harder. If the field ever focuses on increasing productivity, it does so with the viewpoint that a happy worker is a productive one.

TRUTH: Ever since the first caveman bit his nails in the first cave office, there have been issues in the workplace. Seriously, who do you know that doesn’t complain about their job? Plus, in fields such as construction or medicine, mental health can literally be the difference between life and death.

TRUTH: This misconception applies to anyone studying psychology— realistically, no one cares what goes on inside your brain. You can tell your therapist I said that. In reality, they are most likely in the field because it’s growing and they can make a lot of money.

EXAMPLE COURSES: Current Issues in Human Resource Management; Introduction to Group Dynamics; Financial and Managerial Accounting; Convincing Grandma Your Major is Real 101

POTENTIAL JOBS

CONVERSATION STARTERS

CONSULTANT: A consultant helps companies improve working conditions and efficiency, which is right up the I-O alley, making I-O consultants a win-win: employees enjoy their jobs more and businesses make more money.

FUN FACT With the expansion of the healthcare field, the demand for Industrial and Organization Psychologists is increasing. In fact, according to some projections, I-O Psych is the fastest growing occupation in the country.

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HUMAN-COMPUTER INTERACTION: Though it sounds new age-y, HOI is actually an exciting opportunity for I-O Psych majors. The field focuses on assisting companies as they deal with big changes, because few things are more daunting to middle-aged workers than technological advancement.

“Do you want to work in a field that deals with jobs just because of how meta it is?”

“So who helps you if you have a problem in your own job? Do you just have to, like, call your mom?”

“Do you want to hear about what a huge bitch my coworker was being last week?”

KEY TERMS SCIENTIST-PRACTITIONER MODEL: A method of practicing modern psychology that calls for research, empirical data and general scientific methodology. The model is used extensively in I-O Psychology, and it has to be, otherwise I-O majors would never be able to convince their parents that yes it’s a real thing, dad.

PSYCHOSOCIAL SAFETY CLIMATE: Known as PSC within the I-O community, the term is actually the most obscure phenomenon to require a formal acronym. PSC refers to the effect of the workplace environment on its employees’ mental health.

OCCUPATIONAL BURNOUT: This occurs when employees become demotivated and consequently cynical, though it’s not to be confused with “brownout,” a lesser form of employee ennui. Neither is to be confused, however, with brownout or blackout drunkenness. Most I-O Psychology majors are familiar with all definitions.


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THE MEAL PLAN

THE RAMEN ROUND UP LOOKING FOR GOOD INSTANT RAMEN? GIVE UP BY JESSICA STOWE, UNIVERSITY OF TEXAS AT SAN ANTONIO I hope this works. There’s a brief moment of suspense as the cashier looks up at me, incredulous. The credit card machine appears to be thinking, doublechecking that my account really does have money in it, as if the system were designed to red flag anyone attempting to buy this much ramen. The beep of the pin pad saves me from another public embarrassment at the checkout, and the receipt prints. I imagine a message scrawled out across the bottom: Eat without shame. Indulge in cheap alcohol. Once home, I set about preparing ramen for six. I unscrew the lid from my $3 bottle of 2016 Oak Leaf Moscato and search for “Malcolm in the Middle” on Netflix. One girl with a bottle of cheap wine to herself—ramen is about to taste better than it ever has.

NONGSHIM

MARUCHAN

NISSIN

SAVORY BEEF BOWL NOODLES

SHIN RAYMUN

CREAMY CHICKEN

ROAST BEEF

CHOW MEIN: SPICY CHICKEN

CHOW MEIN: TERIYAKI BEEF

FIRST SLURP: Not as flavorful as “Roast Beef,” but less salty. Like bone broth diluted in lukewarm water.

FIRST SLURP: Sodium-fueled imitation chicken with the zing of artificial cilantro.

FIRST SLURP: Notes of overseasoned chicken and dumplings, sans dumplings: soft, milky, and salty.

FIRST SLURP: Hard to differentiate between “Beef” and “Roast Beef”—is there a difference?

FIRST SLURP: Spicy is best, though the heat may just be a (genius?) way of disguising the chicken.

FIRST SLURP: The inky flavoring liquid looks like a Volkswagen oil drip. Tastes like an inbred cousin of teriyaki.

LIKELIHOOD TO EAT DRUNK: 5/10

LIKELIHOOD TO EAT DRUNK: 3/10

LIKELIHOOD TO EAT DRUNK: 4/10

LIKELIHOOD TO EAT DRUNK: 6/10

LIKELIHOOD TO EAT DRUNK: 9/10

LIKELIHOOD TO EAT DRUNK: 5/10

IN THE MOUTH: Unremarkable. Grateful for the Oak Leaf.

IN THE MOUTH: Richer bodied, but absent the undercooked pasta texture. A winner.

IN THE MOUTH: Essentially mush.

IN THE MOUTH: Seems to have slightly less of a non-shape.

IN THE MOUTH: An indistinguishable mass of rubbery, entangled tubes.

IN THE MOUTH: Think milkshake through a straw.

THE DAMAGE: $.87

THE DAMAGE: $.87

THE DAMAGE: $.17

THE DAMAGE: $.17

THE DAMAGE: $.66

THE DAMAGE: $.66

24

// SEPTEMBER 2016

Photo by Ian Friedel


STUDYBREAKS.COM

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#COLLEGEHACKS # H O M EM A K I N G H A C K S

#HOMEMAKINGHACKS WITH DINNER-LESS DINNER PARTIES AND CARDBOARD COFFEE TABLES, HOMEMAKING HAS NEVER BEEN EASIER BY SOFIA RIVER A, SIMMONS COLLEGE

THE ENDORSEMENT

I CAME, I SAW, IKEA

The term “homemaking” implies the alluring, impossible notion of “doing it all”: decorating like Martha Stewart, cooking like Julia Child and cleaning like Mr. Clean. But for the average college student, weekends are for writing term papers and sewing together some semblance of a social life, not throwing lavish soirees. While your life may have more in common with a Craigslist ad than a “Good Housekeeping” cover, you don’t have to decor-hate decorating. Your space is your escape no matter how minuscule the dimensions, and with a few essential #hacks, you too can be a domestic god/dess.

VISUAL RULE: Homemaking Report Card SU BJ ECT

College students realize that shopping at Pier 1 Imports is out of their league (and budget), so those Crate and Barrel catalogues that plague their mailbox each month usually end up as kindling for their epic back-to-school bonfire. But your decorating dreams need not go up in flames. Sweden’s second national treasure after Abba, Ikea is the perfect place for the financially unblessed student to peruse. The modernism and Swedish jargon imply wealth, but luckily the price tags do not. So go forth and buy a Balkarp, a Pysslingar, or something with that ever-confouding “Fy” combination—hell, buy two of each! Then treat yourself to some free coffee and disturbingly cheap Swedish meatballs. Too good to be true? Only once you haul your bargains home and attempt to assemble them will you discover why your settee was so cheap.

VISUAL RULE SCOR E

You own Tupperware brand storage containers You can see parts of your floor You had a dream that you could see your floor. It was not prophetic

CRAIGSLIST

BED SHEETS

Your aesthetic is more “Martha Stewart’s jail cell” than “Martha Stewart”

Okay

Someone complained about a horrible smell coming from your apartment; authorities were too repulsed to enter

Not okay

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// SEPTEMBER 2016

Photo by (Clockwise from top left): PBS • ikea.com


BRING IN THIS A D F O R WA IVED SIGNING FEES

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#COLLEGEHACKS # H O M EM A K I N G H A C K S

HOW TO THROW THE PERFECT DINNER PARTY

NO PRESS IS THE BEST PRESS Traditionally, homemade invitations straight from a Pinterest post are the way to instill inferiority in all of your guests, but who’s got the time or patience for that? Even better, send out no invites at all. Just mutter something about “getting on the list” in a few spots around campus and provide no further details. The elusiveness of your event will make it the place to be.

C E L E BR I T Y E X A M PL E

A DRI A N MONK The classic detective show “Monk” ran a strong eight seasons, essentially two presidential terms (#MonkforPresident2k16?)—and for good reason. Sure, the mystery lacing each episode was compelling and Monk’s mien appealing, but the true key to its success was Monk’s impeccable cleanliness. Some may call it “obsessive” or “compulsive” or likely both, and they would be right. But his meticulous cleaning should be the envy of any aspiring homemaker. Keep a bottle of Windex and roll of paper towels in your holster (yeah you’ll need a holster) at all times, and a can of Febreeze in you back pocket. In the battle between you and student housing grime, channel your inner Monk and you’ll always win.

RECYCLING CHIC

THE HOSTESS WITH THE MINIMALIST Less is more is false when it comes to trying to reach an essay’s page count, but oh so true when it comes to dinner parties. Eliminate the monetary commitment of throwing a dinner bash by doing away with the food altogether. Minimalism is chic, and what’s less than nothing? Nothing.

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College is all about not doing things you don’t feel like doing, like recycling. If you don’t want to take out the recycling, then there’s no need to! That row of wine bottles already lining your windowsill? Leave them. The more dust they gather the better—guests will infer that you exclusively drink fine, aged wine. To further the illusion of snobbery, dig any expensive furniture catalogues out of the paper recycling and

casually scatter them on your coffee table.The coffee table is of course also a sham, because college coffee is consumed in frantic gulps as you run across campus, not seated at a weirdly short table. But you can pretend that you’re into dysfunctional furnishings by pulling a cardboard box out of the recycling and flexing your DIY muscles by painting it black and throwing a tablecloth —or better yet, a *runner*—over the top. Photo by houston-panhellenic.org, Illustration by Ian Friedel


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HEN IT COMES TO NAVIGATING COLLEGE, EVERYONE HAS THEIR OWN PATH. OUTGOING PERSONALITIES HAVE TO KNOW THEIR WAY AROUND THE SOCIAL SCENE, MORE STUDIOUS TYPES NEED TO MASTER THEIR ACADEMIC PLAN OF ATTACK, AND ASPIRING LEADERS WANT TO KNOW WHEN TO RUN FOR WHAT. AND SINCE MOST UNDERGRADS COULD USE A LITTLE GUIDANCE, WE’VE ASKED A FEW EXPERTS TO TAILOR THEIR TIPS TO THREE STUDENT PERSONALITIES: SOCIALITES, BOOKWORMS AND OVERACHIEVERS. THE ONLY THING

PHOTOGR APHY BY VINCENT GONZALES

SOCIALITE


BOOKWORM

OVERACHIEVER


STUDENT SHOWCASE M EE T T H E A R T I S T

WHAT KIND OF STUDENT ARE YOU?

These 30 questions will help you determine whether you’re a bookworm, socialite or overachiever. Fill in the bubbles on the opposite page, and tally up your totals to find out your student identity.

SITUATIONAL QUESTIONS: 1. The night before your Intro to Sex Theory cumulative final, your class crush invites you to study in their bedroom. You… A. Have always thought bedrooms were the only place you could concentrate. B. Are confused. What’s wrong with the well-lit library? C. Only have 10 minutes, so whatever happens can probably only happen twice. 2. When walking by your Nutrition professor’s office, you notice they’re eating takeout from the gluten-free food truck. You… A. Make conversation by asking who Gluten was and why everyone hates him. B. Offer them a glug of your gluten-free Soylent. C. Hurriedly buy a GF sandwich, return, and then exclaim incredulously, “No way, you like Bootin’ Gluten too?!” 3. Your therapist recommends adopting a disabled pet to introduce some structure into your life, but your dorm forbids animals. You… A. Adopt it anyway; you’re a free spirit! You later forget to feed it and it dies.

B. Think it’s a great idea. It will be nice to have a friend that can never leave you. C. Persuade your RA that it’s an emotional support ferret, then threaten to sue if questioned. 4. Your roommate, who came in drunk the night before and broke your laptop, is currently sleeping through their alarm. You… A. Wake them up to ask what party they were at. Not a toptier frat? Lullaby them back to sleep. B. Set all the clocks in the room to military time, triggering the emotional trauma they carry as a result of their unloving drill sergeant father. C. Leave an inspiring note: “Never, never, never give up. – W. Churchill. Btw, you slept through your alarm clock.” 5. You head to the library to study, only to discover your school’s star quarterback is doing Hooked on Phonics in your spot. You… A. Work with him; y’all are on the same chapter. B. Convince him that he is having a nightmare, and that the only way to wake up is to move spots.

• MAKE DARK MARKS • ERASE COMPLETELY TO CHANGE • EXAMPLE:

C. Help him study in order to befriend him. Make up a story about you having trouble with the “wh” sound too. 6. On the first day of school, your professor says that because they’re not like other professors, tests and homework are optional in their class. You… A. Yell “Finally!!!” B. File a police report, Concerned Citizen’s inquiry, NSA inquest, FBI injunction and Patriot Act abduction. This man must be stopped. C. Use the class time to polish your LinkedIn and play Lumosity. 7. In your Intro to Ethics class, the professor assigns a take-home test and strongly implies that they won’t be able to tell if you cheat. You… A. Cheat like hell, then are told by a classmate that it was okay to cheat (you weren’t in class), then pretend to give in to cheating, but only because it was okay. B. Are racked with indecision— is the choice to cheat or not cheat actually the test? C. Had already received the answers from an upperclassman, a moral quandary you then write about and end up receiving extra credit for.

IF YOU GET MOSTLY A’S

IF YOU GET MOSTLY B’S

IF YOU GET MOSTLY C’S

You’re a socialite! You love hanging out with your friends outside of class, and inside of class too really, if you go to class that is. You use your social skills to your advantage, and are always looking to network and accrue new followers.

You’re a bookworm! You came to college to get a degree, and you’re going to put every ounce of energy into coming away with a 4.0. Occasionally you miss talking to other humans, but VR will be here soon enough.

You’re an overachiever! Constantly burning the candle at both ends (mental note: invest in candle industry), you’re driven by ambition and success. Sometimes you forget to stop and smell the roses, so make a mental note to Amazon Prime yourself some roses.

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8. During a Mass Communications final, your professor steps out of class to take a volunteer phone survey. You… A. Excitedly begin coercing the class into working together using Mass Com. techniques. B. Are paralyzed with confusion—why would anyone voluntarily talk to someone else? C. Are talking to the professor on the phone, as in addition to the final, you are also working part time as a phone surveyor. 9. During a summer internship, your boss tells you that your main duty will be helping the staff stick to their juice cleanses. You… A. Tell them juices are so 2015, and the new thing is gruices, but you don’t explain what a gruice is. You are soon promoted. B. Design a feeding system inspired by a hamster dropper. You are soon promoted. C. Quit that internship—you have four others to worry about. 10. For your History of Ancient Rome class, you’re required to bathe like Romans by dousing yourself in olive oil and squeegeeing it off. You… A. Don’t remember bathing like this in either of your semesters in Florence? B. Are glad to finally be putting your natural oiliness to use! C. Take a before and after picture, turning the exercise into the “Roman Bath Experience,” netting a cool 9 mil. in the process.


RAPID FIRE: 11. Your mom calls you on a Friday night. How do you answer? A. Mahm? Water you doung itza Tuesday water youuu mah? B. Sorry I’m in the library what is it? C. Excuse me for a second, Senator. Congresswoman, how are you? I know it’s you, mom, I was with a Senator though! 12. Bush did Harambe? A. What bush? B. That was months ago; it’s not funny anymore. C. Between you and me, I’m not ruling anything out anymore. 13. What’s as close as you’ve gotten to being vegan? A. Going fruitarian for swimsuit season. B. Soylent. c. Not having time to eat for a week straight. 14. Do you separate whites and colors? A. Racist! B. My mom does my laundry. C. After I separate delicates from cottons and casual from business, yes. 15. Their Tinder profile mentions “adventures.” How do you swipe? A. Left. B. Oh, I don’t have a Tinder. C. Left and right.

nightmare. You don’t hang out with old high school friends. B. Hit that! Halo 3 just went from turnt to lit. C. Apologetically point to a fake cold sore. Make mental note to gift a new vape to friend for Christmas.

B. Kevin Hart C. The Big Lewboski

18. You had a sex dream but it felt like a nightmare. What happened? A. Afterwards, lying in bed, you saw their Instagram ratio was off—almost twice as many following as followed! B. The Dark Lord disciplines his minions. Such are his ways. C. You misheard—they work at CVS, not CBS.

24. I know it’s not okay to say this, but I am a really big fan of . A. HGTV B. Whatever was before No Child Left Behind C. Downers

19. Your significant other thinks that recycling is bogus. Thoughts? A. Who cares? Composting is what’s in right now. B. Show them a 4chan thread where a troll makes the same argument. Point proven. C. Bogus or not, one day the media will be sifting through your garbage, so it better be filled with fair trade products and tastefully curated wine. 20. You’re going to a music festival. How are you dressed? A. Like I always do? Eccentric and bejangled with circular sunglasses? B. Not going—streaming it for free through a videographer friend. C. Business formal, per usual.

MULTIPLE CHOICE:

16. Your doctor called and said the results are negative. What are they talking about? A. Oh thank God. B. Damn, I guess that wasn’t technically sex then, huh? C. Turns out you can donate blood weekly!

21. The 2014 kale trend might have been , but at least it was . A. Short lived, influential B. Disgusting, solid meme fodder C. Misguided, a good PR case study

17. Your old high school friend offers you a puff of their vape. What do you do? A. Wake up from your

22. I’ve never understood why people thought was funny. A. Bill Murray

23. Is still alive? Really? A. Stephen Hawking B. Lamar Odom C. Abigail Fisher

25. When I get stoned, I always feel like the is too . A. Universe, complicated B. Pizza, hot C. Clock, slow 26. I might not believe in his policies, but at least Donald Trump has . A. Nice clothing B. A limited amount of time to live C. A degree from Wharton 27. For $500,000, I would get a(n) on my forehead. A. Anything—you name it, seriously anything B. Quadratic formula C. Copy of my own signature 28. I learned from the Drake vs. Meek Mill beef that is okay. A. Ghost writing B. Naming yourself Meek Mill C. Publicly antagonistic discourse 29. If I’m caught plagiarizing, I blame . A. My peers B. A statistical anomaly C. The conniving, jealous professor 30. Of the two most popular Spongebob memes, I prefer . A. Confused Mr. Krabs B. SpongeGar C. LindedIn

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SUBJECTIVE SCORE STUDENT USE ONLY

1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. 17. 18. 19. 20. 21. 22. 23. 24. 25. 26. 27. 28. 29. 30.


BOOKWORM ADVICE FOR A

A DAY IN THE LIFE:

Freshmen vs. Seniors By Samantha Gross, Concordia University Irvine

9:30AM

8:00AM

FRESHMEN

LIES TO TELL YOURSELF DURING LATE STUDY SESSIONS > “At least I won’t be this busy next weekend.” > “I’ll go to bed after this chapter.” > “I’m just going to look at one Snapstory.” > “Just one more slice of pizza.”

SENIORS

Wake up and eat Fruit Loops (bought milk yesterday)

General Ed Biology class (boring requirement)

Everyone comes to college to learn, but some people take it to the extreme. These are the students who know all the librarians by name, who can tell you exactly how much the final grade is worth (because trust me, they’ve done the math) and, even though they haven’t been to dinner in weeks, have coffee mugs littered across their desk. They might be hard to talk to because all they do is study and sleep, but their work ethic (and their GPAs) are unparalleled.

Wisdom from an Academic Advisor

CARRIE BALDWIN

Academic Advisor at the University of Delaware Alfred Lerner College of Business & Economics

General Ed Math class (fuck college math)

Postcolonial Literature class (Maybe sleep through. Depends on night before and if class is still reading Gabriel Garcia Marquez. Email Prof about missed work; senior etiquette: “Yo, John, what’d I miss?”)

1:00PM

12:45PM 1:00PM

Cafeteria lunch; pasta and chicken (salad? No, eat salad tomorrow)

Wake up and eat Lucky Charms (dry, ran out of milk, steal from cafeteria tomorrow)

12:00PM

11:30AM

Sleep to Survive General Ed History class (interesting requirement)

GETTING THE BEST LIBRARY SPOT > Look for power outlets, windows and isolation—all three if possible. > Bring enough study snacks for a long haul; avoid simple sugars and starches. > Don’t give up your spot— stake your claim and protect it at any cost. (Any cost.)

BY LAUREN DIETHELM, UC SANTA CRUZ

According to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, fatigue causes nearly 100,000 accidents a year and disproportionately plagues those under 25. No one will die if you’re snoozing in your 8am, but being drowsy at the wheel or compensating with stimulants can be dangerous.

Balancing Act

Advice from a Social Expert

ELAINE EGGERT

Vice President of Public Relations for the Panhellenic Council at University of Illinois

Early Bookworm Avoids the Bird Make sure you get an early start. You’re going to be spending a lot of time in the library, so get there early for an indisputable claim to the best spot.

Early to Rise, Early to Bed

All work and no play makes Jack a dull college student. The amount of balance you do (or don’t) have between work, friends and sleep has a huge effect on your overall well-being, so try to find a happy medium.

The sooner you begin, the sooner you can stop, so start studying earlier in the day. If you start studying after lunch instead of dinner, you can still go to bed at a normal human time.

Tips from a Resident Assistant

Focus In

SAMANTHA CARDENAS Senior at UC Santa Cruz, Third Year RA

Make Time for What You Like It’s okay to do things just because they’re fun and bring you joy. Yes, grades in college are important, but so is being happy.

Assign Yourself Some Fun It’s tempting to blow off relaxation, but it’s critical to your well-being. If you have trouble justifying a night out, remember that you do incredible work, you’re making people proud, and a little indulgence is actually good for you.

Getting enough sleep and acing your classes is going to be a challenge, so don’t waste time—and bring study snacks!

YOUR NEW FAVORITE APPS Quizlet Who doesn’t love free flashcards you didn’t have to make yourself? Penultimate Trees don’t have to die for you to write miles of notes. Self Control The app that takes the self out of self-discipline.

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MEET THE BOOKWORM As a standout student in the University of Illinois’ topranked Library and Information Science program, Jesus Espinoza is about as big of a bookworm as they come. BY MICHELLE CRIQUI, JAMES MADISON UNIVERSITY

When it comes to preserving useful data for generations to come, graduate student and future librarian Jesus Espinoza is excited for what lies ahead. After earning his BA in English at San Jose State University in 2012, Espinoza went on to the University of Illinois at UrbanaChampaign to pursue a Masters in Library and Information Science in one of the most uniquely flexible graduate programs in the country. Since the program individualizes study based on student interest, Espinoza has chosen a Digital Preservation concentration, which focuses on developing techniques to preserve valuable information for the future. His goal is to one day lend a hand in implementing digital reformatting labs in academic libraries across the country.

MICHELLE CRIQUI: All-time favorite book? JESUS IVAN ESPINOZA: “100 Years of Solitude” by Gabriel Garcia Marquez MC: If you could get coffee with any author, dead or alive, who would it be? JIE: Maya Angelou MC: What’s on the top of your to-read list? JIE: “Crazy Rich Asians” by Kevin Kwan, and “A Little Life” by Hanya Yanagihara, which I’ve heard is life-changing. MC: Thoughts on eReaders? JIE: They’re great because they’ve gotten a lot of people to read who previously wouldn’t have picked up a physical book. And they’re great for accessibility, as before eReaders libraries would have to order large-print books for people that don’t see as well. But personally, for my

T H E S PA R K N OT E S NAME: Jesus Ivan Espinoza (@hayzeus89)

SCHOOL: University of Illinois UrbanaChampaign

own reading, I still just use printed books. MC: If you could visit any library in the world, where would you visit? JIE: St. Trinity College in Ireland. I’ve seen pictures and it just looks so beautiful. Also, I think the main reading room was the inspiration for the library in “Star Wars.” Then there’s the Jose Vasconcelos Library in Mexico City, which has these really cool hanging shelves that would be cool to see. MC: If you could be any book character for a day, who would you be? JIE: The first thing that came

MAJOR: MS in Library and Information Science

to mind was Matilda. She’s so passionate about reading, and she has superpowers. MC: How is your personal book collection organized? JIE: I have it by author, but then I started moving things and now it’s really unorganized. I do keep fiction and nonfiction separate, though. MC: Writing in the margins of your books: Yay or Nay? JIE: I sometimes underline a passage that I really like. As long as it’s your personal copy, and not a library copy, it’s fine.

BOOKWORM BOOK RECOMMENDATIONS

BELOVED

SALVAGE THE BONES

By Toni Morrison

By Jesmyn Ward

“It’s set shortly after the end of slavery, and a lot of it is dealing with that—reclaiming one’s own freedom. It’s one thing to have laws that say that you’re free, and it’s another thing for you to believe that.”

“It reminds me of “To Kill A Mockingbird” with its innocent protagonist. There’s this danger that’s coming, but they’re not really sure how big the storm is going to be, and it’s this beautiful symbol.”

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BETWEEN THE WORLD AND ME By Ta-Nehisi Coates “It’s about an African-American dad writing letters to his son, explaining the events that have been happening recently in terms of police brutality and the murder of black people.”

1Q84 By Haruki Murakami “It has a lot of magical realism and alternate universes. There’s this plot with a cult, and it has a character that’s going to be an assassin, so it has a little bit of everything. And it’s all set in Japan.”


SOCIALITE ADVICE FOR A

A DAY IN THE LIFE:

Freshmen vs. Seniors

FRESHMEN

SENIORS

3:30PM 4:25PM 4:30PM 5:00PM

Business Club meeting (résumé builder, but run by douche bags. Consider leadership for next year? Only if Debate Club doesn’t work out) Cafeteria dinner; Chinese food (3x this week)

Academic Advisor at the University of Delaware Alfred Lerner College of Business & Economics

Mid-day meal of Pop-Tarts and leftover pizza (all hail food delivery)

Start Postcolonial paper due tomorrow from dorm bed (Keurig too far away from bed, move closer tomorrow. Google summary of Gabriel Garcia Marquez’s “100 Years of Solitude”)

4:00PM

Email Professor Smith about biology assignment (freshman etiquette: “Hello Professor…. Sincerely”)

Wisdom from an Academic Advisor

CARRIE BALDWIN 3:30PM

Band Practice (need more reeds, book store is out, ask director)

2:30PM

Math class (boring, but already missed twice, can’t miss again. Fuck college math, because it was put off till the last minute. Fuck, speaking of last minute, isn’t there a paper due tomorrow?)

The number one sign of a socialite is a manicured Instagram—if you’re happening and beautiful, it’s happening and beautiful. A good socialite will never say no to a party, and they’ll never pass up the chance to turn something into a party. Since their experience with social organizations both on and off campus has made them pros, they’re the ones you call when you need someone to help plan an event. Given the choice between sleeping late on Sunday or getting up to study, a socialite will always pick sleep—they’ve got that barbecue later, anyway.

Everything Requires Good Grades Participation in many extracurriculars, such as Greek life and sports, depends on students maintaining a certain GPA. Ironically, if your grades aren’t up to par, it can be challenging to have a social life.

Tips from a Resident Assistant

SAMANTHA CARDENAS

Senior at UC Santa Cruz, Third Year RA

Advice from a Social Expert

ELAINE EGGERT

Vice President of Public Relations for the Panhellenic Council at University of Illinois

Say Yes to New Experiences Whether it’s a party or staying in to watch movies on your floor, go for it! The social aspects of college are some of the best parts, and you may regret it if you don’t take advantage now.

Pick Classes Wisely Don’t take any classes before 11:00am. If you’re up till 3:00 the night before watching competitive cooking shows with your roommate, 8:00am comes all too quickly.

MASTERING SOCIAL MEDIA • Don’t have an account on every platform: Pick a few and hone them to perfection.

• Engage movers and shakers in your field to grow in clout within dynamic social circles. • By following people with different lifestyles and interests, it’s never been easier to expand yourself.

Networking is Life Make friends in all walks of life, and maintain those friendships. You never know when someone you met once at a conference (and hopefully made a good impression on) will come back into your life.

Play to Your Strengths It’s important to take education seriously, but good grades also aren’t everything. Find something you’re good at and run with it.

AG E N DA P L A N N E R Texas State Fair (Sept. 30th-Oct. 23rd): In addition to the Red River Rivalry on October 8th, the fair features obscene food and carnival games.

Sound on Sound Fest (Nov. 4th-6th): Make sure to catch indie sensation Car Seat Headrest at the Sherwood Forest reincarnation of Fun Fun Fun Fest.

Mala Luna Fest (Oct. 29th-30th): San Antonio’s first music festival will bring together G-Eazy and the Lone Star Brewery for the first time in history.

Wurstfest (Nov. 4th-13th): An experience unlike any other, the Bavarian tribute to all things brews can make for a memorable night out.

PROFESSORS ARE PEOPLE TOO > You may do poorly in their class, but establishing a relationship with your teacher can still benefit you. > By endearing yourself to professors, you at least safeguard yourself against outright criticism. > If studying under a grad student, invite them out for a drink or to a party. They probably want to go! > Picking professors’ brains and expressing interest can make them like you— sometimes a more valuable resource than good grades.

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THE CLOSET SOCIALITE

LIVVY BENNETT (@livvylivvy), Music Business & Recording Technology, 50’s Faded Pink Floral Button Up ($22); Passport Vintage Levi 501’s ($98); UO Patti Low Heel Mule ($59)

LEAH ANN ORTIZ (@leahleahann), Photo Communications, 80’s Sheer Flowy Violet Dress ($26)

ALISHA BASHEY (@itxlish), Fashion Merchandising & Business, 70’s Pastel Floral Embroidered Peasant Top ($26); Light Wash Denim Overall Dress ($18)

CRISTIAN SIGLER (@cristian.sigler), Trash Vintage Associate Director, 90’s Rayon Button Up ($24); 70’s Adidas Shorts ($18); UO Maroon New Balance 410 sneakers ($49)

CHRIS GONZALEZ (@gonzalez_chris24), Photography, 1969 Teal w/ Yellow Embroidery Bowling League Button Up ($36,); Light Wash Levis Denim Shorts ($24)

ANTHONY LEWIS (@amoney1216), Aerospace Engineering, 80s Faded Harley Davidson Tee ($18) Passport Vintage Levi 501’s Raw Hem ($98) UO Pink Sneakers ($29)

BACK TO SCHOOL

STYLE Digs by Trash Vintage (@shoptrashvintage), a curated clothing collection created by Texas State student Julia Arden Dixon. For more on Dixon, head to page 48. Also featuring items from Passport Vintage (@passportvintage) & UO (@urbanoutfitters)

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Photography by Justin Leal, Texas State University


OVERACHIEVER ADVICE FOR AN

A DAY IN THE LIFE:

Freshmen vs. Seniors

5:30PM 9:00PM

Write History paper in dorm room (online library books = new favorite resource) Skype with hometown friend (wonder how they already have a significant other)

10:30PM

8:00PM

Business night class (boring but major oriented. Maybe make a study group with other freshmen in Business Club?)

Fall asleep thinking about when biology project is due (two weeks)

Dinner (How much money is on dining card? Wait, fuck, how much money is on debit card?)

Netflix and snack (oncampus café open until 10, thank fuck, and the Kit Kats are half off)

Wisdom from an Academic Advisor

CARRIE BALDWIN

Academic Advisor at the University of Delaware Alfred Lerner College of Business & Economics

Planning is a Major Key The number one most important skill in college is time management. Use a planner. If you’re going to try to do it all, first make sure there’s time in the day.

7:30PM

Math study group in library (fuck college math)

SENIORS

6:00PM

Biology homework (listen to 21 Pilots to make less boring than class)

7:00PM 6:00PM

FRESHMEN

Not to be mistaken for super-humans, overachievers somehow manage to do it all and do it all well. They believe rest is for the weak, and although it may have been a week since they got a full night’s sleep, they’ve found the perfect blend of coffee and 5-hour Energy to get them through that 12-page paper and their weekend trip to the mountains.

Just Say No Don’t be afraid to politely decline certain invitations. You don’t have to do it all. Do the things you enjoy and make time for yourself, and then forget the rest.

SAMANTHA CARDENAS

Senior at UC Santa Cruz, Third Year RA

Establish a Community Co-workers, friends, people who live in your dorm— find a different mix of people from different areas who will cheer you on, but also won’t be afraid to tell you to slow down.

Embrace Failure Don’t be so afraid to make mistakes. Prioritize sleep and fun, and try to focus more on friendship and less on the work you aren’t doing.

Don’t Schadenfreude Yourself You shouldn’t be wearing your misery like a badge of honor. Students love one-upping each other, saying “I haven’t slept in 72 hours” or “I’m taking 25 hours,” but it’s unhealthy and won’t bring fulfillment.

Advice from a Social Expert MANAGEABLE SELF-CARE • Take a bubble bath or a really hot shower. • Make your favorite comfort food; you’ve gotta eat anyway, so take a break from ramen. • Do something nice for someone. • Leave your phone and your friends and go sit somewhere quietly for a minute. SCHEDULING YOUR SCHEDULING • Google Calendar is your friend. Color code everything. • Make alarms for appointments and alerts for due dates. • Don’t write assignments on scraps of paper or the backs of receipts or other places they can get lost. This is why Google is your friend. (But your arm is a better option than your lunch napkin—your arm isn’t going anywhere without you.)

1:00AM

Fall asleep watching Netflix (Scrubs)

Tips from a Resident Assistant

IRON SHARPENS IRON • Hanging with other overachievers will keep you motivated to work at the high level that makes you happy. • Where others would say “That’s too much” or “You need to drop a class,” they say “I’ll spend Saturday in the library with you.” • When they become presidents, committee chairs and valedictorians, you’ve found yourself with friends in high places. (Though they’re thinking the same of you.)

ELAINE EGGERT

Vice President of Public Relations for the Panhellenic Council at University of Illinois

First Things First If you’re going to tackle everything, you’ll need to prioritize. Three nights a week, you may have to watch the sunrise from the library, but also make time to go out and let off steam.

Take Care To avoid getting too run down, make sure you take care of your body and mind. If you don’t, your lifestyle will eventually catch up to you.

Eye on the Prize It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it. When it comes to doing college right, overachievers are serious #goals. Yes, you may be tired, and yes, you may not have eaten today, but everyone you talk to is secretly in awe of your superhuman strength. Remember that next time you need to borrow someone’s notes.

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FRESHMAN

THE TIME OF YOUR LIFE

FRESHMAN VS. SENIOR

Charting students’ change of opinions through college. E-TEXTBOOKS

OVERACHIEVERS

SENIOR

Freshman: “There are a few different versions of this one. I better double check and buy two just in case.” Senior: “Dude, the fuck do you mean there’s an ebook? Gimme your pass code, we’re sharing.”

ILLEGAL MOVIE STREAMING

Freshman: “I have morals.” Senior: “Here are three sites I use weekly and this fourth one is a back-up that works sometimes, but watch out for the sketchy pop-up ads.”

By Samantha Gross, Concordia University Irvine

Sophomore: “Fuck off freshman fifteen; I’m buying salad this year.” Junior: “There has to be a healthy diet that can balance ice cream and lettuce.”

Sophomore: “I’ll buy toilet paper this week if you buy it next time.” Junior: “God damn, we need toilet paper. Whoever goes to the store next, get some, I don’t care if you bought it last time.”

JUNIOR

SOPHOMORE

Previous Explorer Intern and current

three-sport athlete (tennis, soccer

Software Engineering Intern at

and cross country) highly active in

Microsoft, 3.56 GPA, double major

her community

in Computer Science and Visual

Senior at Rice University

& Dramatic Arts, world traveler, musician, artist, manager and actress

Someone who tries to be better than everyone else at a given task or performance.

Individuals who feel empowered to pursue the breadth of their potential.

Would you consider yourself an overachiever?

My mother once told me, “If you’re going to do something— anything—then give it your all,” so that’s what I try to do.

I’ve been privileged to receive support for my endeavors, and I’ve been fortunate to discover fields of interest for which I am willing to work tirelessly.

What advice do you have for future college students?

Prioritize your education and take advantage of every opportunity you encounter. Avoid comparing yourself to others and embrace your individuality.

Never limit your world based on your perceived strengths and weaknesses, especially when it comes to choosing a major or career path.

Who or what inspired you?

I wouldn’t be where I am if it weren’t for my family; I learned from their mistakes and I’m constantly inspired by their integrity and work ethic.

The decisions I make reflect the values of my upbringing; my father is career-driven and took a research position in Shanghai when I was 12. I admire his work ethic, but my mother’s strength as a single woman has always inspired me.

What drew you to your college of choice?

There were certainly other schools that I was considering, but eventually financial aid and location.

I was ultimately drawn to Rice because of its close-knit community, well-rounded curriculum and the upbeat atmosphere I experienced when I visited.

What sort of extracurriculars are you involved in?

I have a particular interest in painting, I’ve been involved in my church for the past several years, and although I’m not particularly athletic, I enjoy being physically active.

Theatre—sometimes acting, most of the time making and designing costumes, occasionally producing or directing plays. I manage a student-run theatre troupe called the Rice Players.

What are you most looking forward to in this next step in your life?

Making connections with people.

A change of pace, a new place to call home, a new job and new people to meet. The challenge of starting fresh.

GROCERY SHOPPING

SPLITTING DORM COSTS

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High school Valedictorian, 4.4 GPA,

What is your definition of an overachiever?

ALCOHOL

Sophomore: “I’m going to pace myself a bit more this year, so hopefully no more hangovers.” Junior: “Now that I’m legally able to buy alcohol it’s a lot less enticing.”

MEI TAN

Freshman at Stanford University

Quotes have been condensed for clarity

CAFETERIA FOOD

Freshman: “Sweet, it’s not McDonalds. The Freshman 15 won’t get me!” Senior: “Hey, I have $3, you wanna got to McDonalds?”

ALEXA MELGOZA


C O L L E G E The NCAA Division 1 Football Bowl Subdivision (FBS) is the top level of college football in the country.

1. The FBS

consists of 10 Conferences and 128 schools nationwide, including four independents: Notre Dame, Army, BYU and UMass.

1999-2014 3a.

2. The 10 FBS

conferences are divided into two groups: The “Power Five” and the “Group of Five.”

2.

conferences has won every BCS National Championship during the game’s existence (1999-2014), and every College Football Playoff (CFP) National Championship.

LSU (2) Florida St (2)

4. Only “Power Five” conferences

Oklahoma (1)

have guaranteed berths to the “access bowls.”

// SEPTEMBER 2016

Alabama (1)

Florida (1) Ohio St. (1)

Which means under the new CFP system, “Group of Five” teams can only access the Rose, Sugar or Orange Bowl by achieving a #1-4 BCS ranking during the season, something which has not happened yet.

Auburn (1) Miami (1) Texas (1) USC (1) Tennessee (1)

AP Photo/Charlie Riedel, File

5.

52 42 UCF

#15

BAYLOR

#6

5. The last “Group of Five” bowl

appearance was in 2014, when UCF, the American Athletic Conference Champion, beat Baylor in the 2014 Fiesta Bowl, though this predated the CFP system.

6. Since 1999, “Group of Five” conferences have had teams appear in only 29 BCS bowls, compared to 116 appearances for the “Power Five.”

GROUP OF FIVE

29

POWER FIVE

116

The College Football Playoff (CFP) started at the end of the 2014 season. Now, four teams play in two semifinal bowl games, the winners of which advance to the National Championship.

KIRBY HOCUTT

40

Ohio St. (1)

3b.

3.A school from one of the “Power Five”

1.

2.

2015-2016 Alabama (3)

Copyright © 2016, Orlando Sentinel

ACC Big Ten 3. Big 12 4. Pac-12 5. SEC 6. AAC 7. C-USA 8. MAC 9. MW 10. Sun Belt 11. Notre Dame 12. Army 13. BYU 14. UMass

The “Power Five” conferences are home to the most prominent football programs in the country: the ACC, Big Ten, Big 12, Pac-12 and SEC.

F O O T

BARRY ALVAREZ

JEFF BOWER

7.

A 13-member committee—a departure from the BCS methodology that used polls and algorithms—selects and seeds the four teams that take part in the semifinal bowl games.

LLOYD CARR

HERB DEROMEDI

TOM JERNSTEDT

BOBBY JOHNSON


B A L L

1 6

The two semifinal bowl games that send teams to the Championship rotate between six major bowls.

W A Y S Alabama is the team to beat.

11. The Crimson Tide leads all teams in playoff appearances, after playing in both the 2015 and 2016 playoffs.

10. The bowls are also known as the “New Years Six,” and are paired: the Rose/Sugar, Orange/Cotton, and Fiesta/Peach. This season, the Fiesta and Peach Bowls host the #1 and #4, and #2 and #3 teams.

(2) Oregon

2014-2015

59

(2) Oregon (3) Florida

20

(4) Ohio

(4) Ohio

St. 20

St. 42

(1) Alabama

35

12.

14.

The last 5 Heisman trophy winners have come from four different conferences. 2012 Johnny Manziel SEC

2013 Jameis Winston ACC

2014 Marcus Mariota Pac-12

BIG 10

PAC-12 BIG 12

8.

ACC

STUDYBREAKS.COM

ROB MULLENS

(4) Oklahoma

2015-2016 40

(2) Alabama

(2) Alabama

45

(3) Michigan

17

38

St. 0

13.

During a vote to ban the camps, of the “Power Five” only the Big 10 dissented. Coincidentally, the Big 10 is home to Jim Harbaugh’s Michigan State. Within the month however, the vote was overturned by the NCAA Board of Directors. FOR // AGAINST GROUP OF FIVE

POWER FIVE

SUN BELT MW MA C-USA AAC

ACC SEC Pac-12 Big 12 BIG 10

15.

Where Heisman winners play on the field is less diverse. Since 1997, every Heisman trophy winner has been either a quarterback or a running back.

QB-13

RB-4 CB-1

16. The last player to win the trophy that wasn’t a QB or RB was cornerback

CHARLES WOODSON in 1997.

SEC

The committee consists of an athletic director from each of the five major conferences, as well as former coaches, players, administrators and a retired member of the media.

JEFF LONG

2015 Derrick Henry SEC

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(1) Clemson

The debate about the camps boils down to North vs. South and Big vs. Small. The SEC and ACC forbid their coaches from attending camps and want to stop northern coaches, such as Jim Harbaugh, from poaching Deep South talent.

These recruiting efforts hope to discover the next Heisman winner, though history shows he could be from anywhere.

(1) Clemson

St. 42

The increased competition of the playoff format has fueled schools’ controversial recruiting tactics, such as satellite camps.

2011 Robert Griffin III Big 12

By Kevin Cordon, UC Irvine

Grey New York, NFL

9. The appointment of Condoleezza Rice, former U.S. Secretary of State and Stanford University Provost, was met with backlash from within the sport, questioning her qualifications.

DAN RADAKOVICH

STEVE WIEBERG

TYRONE WILLINGHAM

CONDOLEEZZA RICE SEPTEMBER 2016 //

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HOT OR NOT PHOTOGR APHY BY BRITTANY GARLIPP, SAVANNAH COLLEGE OF ARTS AND DESIGN

Caught here cosplaying a deep cut character from a “Phantom of the Opera” fan-fic featuring Cubone, an aging Carrot Top gives new meaning to the term “facial mask.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” wheezed Lance, indignant in a fit of belabored breath moments before flatlining. “I’d rather—I’d rather fucking die than see a bunch of chicks try and play the ‘Busters.”

TFW you realize Harambe’s half birthday would have been during Thanksgiving break.

Even though they both had “always looking for the next adventure” in their Tinder bios, Patrick never imagined he could be this comfortable with anyone

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// SEPTEMBER 2016


ZOMBIE PUB CRAWL Atlanta, GA

Thank god for her captain’s hat, otherwise nobody would’ve understood the seaman part of Charity’s zombie moneyshot backstory.

Ridiculed as they are for their sluggish pace, one glimpse at the highway robbery of metropolitan parking rates reminds the undead why it is they walk.

Whatever your stance on abortion, I think we can all agree it’d be pretty tempting to dip if you knew your mom was heavy into zombie play.

Nothing’s more punk rock than proving that punk’s not dead even when it is dead.

STUDYBREAKS.COM

SEPTEMBER 2016 //

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GAME THEORY

20 YEARS OF N64 AS THE CONSOLE NEARS ITS 20TH ANNIVERSARY, WE REMEMBER THE FABULOUS FLOP THAT ALMOST NEVER WAS BY AL VANDERKLIPP, UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN Exactly twenty years ago, before most of this year’s incoming freshmen were born, and on the eve of the Nintendo 64’s launch, the console wars were in full swing. Early losers like Atari’s Jaguar and the overpriced 3DO had been kicked to the curb by a rabid consumer base obsessed with 3D graphics and full-motion video. The Playstation and Sega Saturn dominated the market in a clumsy era where thick fogs obscured poor draw distances and third-person cameras whipped around blocky characters in nauseating arcs. It was a hideous puberty, but these were formative years, setting the groundwork for what video games would become. The N64 would go on to resolve many of its issues, and for some it would define the generation, but early criticism plagued its release. Problems started early on, when the 64 was under development as Project Reality. Delays pushed back the launch several times, and as a result, it was released over a year after Sony and Sega had released the PlayStation and Saturn, respectively. As if a late release wasn’t handicapping enough, Nintendo’s insistence on using expensive and complicated cartridges

44

// SEPTEMBER 2016

alienated several developers that had once had good relationships with the company. Though the 64 was technically the most powerful system on the market, it lacked CDquality audio and video capabilities, which earned it a snide, “child-friendly” reputation in the hardcore community. And when the voluptuously-named 64DD (a powerful disk drive add-on promised from the inception of the console) failed to materialize year after year, early adopters felt betrayed. Nintendo’s own ingenuity was the only thing that saved the 64 from utter failure. The unwieldy gamepad was designed around Super Mario 64, which played so flawlessly that it set the standard for how 3D games should control to this day. Four-player compatibility was built-in from the beginning, eliminating the need for LAN parties (which were heartbreaking gatherings where everyone had to bring their own PC and monitor to one location). Exhaustingly aggressive marketing contributed to the console’s (relative) success in the US, which accounted for over half of worldwide sales; it’s hard to read a Nintendo Power from ’97 without picturing the writers foaming at the mouth at forgettable games like Gex 3: Deep Cover Gecko. And though third-party support lagged, Nintendo’s own development teams produced some of the most memorable games of the era. Many of these titles are so well designed that they still play well twenty years later, awarding the failed console a posthumous

in particular pushes the system to its limits, with a huge, interconnected world and an unmatched sense of discovery. Dig a little deeper into the 296-game library and you’ll find a selection of aggressively creative hidden gems: Blast Corps has the player taking on freelance demolition work; Space Station: Silicon Valley puts you in the shoes of a robot-controlling microchip in a space zoo gone haywire; Conker’s Bad Fur Day is a sickening, hungover send-up of the system’s cutesy platforms that plays better than any of them. During its lifetime, the release of quality games was painfully slow. In hindsight, it’s among the best in the history of gaming. Beyond the library, the primary reason the N64 is better remembered than any of its competition is simple: In 2016, more functional units still exist. The brittle internal mechanisms of the PS1 and Saturn and their easily scuffed discs weren’t built with twenty years of abuse in mind. The N64, by contrast, is almost indestructible; when I got mine second-hand, it was coated in what was either crusted Faygo or dried blood (when you’re a kid and someone offers you a video game console, you don’t ask questions). After a thorough cleaning, it worked perfectly, and has survived a subsequent decade of being dropped, stepped on and punched by “friends” who couldn’t accept a third-place ranking in Mario Party 2. Even

CONKER’S BAD FUR DAY IS A SICKENING, HUNGOVER SENDUP OF THE SYSTEM’S CUTESY PLATFORMS THAT PLAYS BETTER THAN ANY OF THEM. legacy of success. Where many of Sony’s then-cutting-edge blockbuster games now look muddy and primitive, the cartoony art styles of games like Banjo-Kazooie and Starfox 64 still hold up; and their relative simplicity, compared to the other clunky, more mature games of the era, has ensured that they play better, too. The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time

the games themselves are built to last; the 64 cartridge’s elegant design allows it to be ripped out of the socket, glazed with hot, spitty breath and slammed back into place over and over again. Ultimately, the childfriendly design choices that originally held the 64 back have since become its biggest asset in securing its place as a cultural icon of the ’90s. Photo by: Factor 5, Bringing Indy to N64 at IGN


STUDYBREAKS.COM

SEPTEMBER 2016 //

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EXTRA CREDIT

G E T T I N G TO K N O W:

JULIADIXON BY LINDSEY DAVIS, IOWA STATE UNIVERSITY PHOTOGR APHY BY JUSTIN LEAL, TEX AS STATE UNIVERSITY

At 21, Julia Dixon has already created a successful clothing line called Trash Vintage, a roving boutique that sells vintage clothing both online and at pop-ups. Dixon’s collaborations have found her working alongside Austin’s “Peach Fuzz” magazine, photographers such as Jinni J, and musicians such as Annabel Chairlegs, all while appearing at venues everywhere from the Limelight in San Antonio to Denton’s “I’m Not Really Sorry” Arts Fest. As she heads into her senior year of college, what’s next for this one-woman powerhouse? “It honestly started from a thrifting obsession.” “Although I first started at thrift stores in Austin, I try to go on buying trips out of town. I’ve found secret places where I can get clothing by the pound for super cheap. The turnover allows me to keep a rather high profit margin.” “When I started thrifting a lot, I thought maybe I should try to sell the clothing instead of just buying for myself.” “With Trash, I’m kind of marinating on the idea of having my own store either in Austin or doing something online, but that’s much bigger.” “It’s vintage clothes, so the basis of it is recycled fashion. I think it’s important to reuse clothes, because although it’s easy to purchase from the millions of garments being mass produced each season, it isn’t always ethical.” “Plus, why would you want to wear the same thing everyone else has?” “I try to keep my clothing affordable for just about anyone. My prices range from a $15 t-shirt to a $32 jacket or really awesome dress. It depends on the era and how good of a condition it’s in” “My mom is my inspiration for sure. Ever since I was a kid, I remember wanting everything in my mom’s closet. She was a runway model when she was my age.” “I am most definitely a one-woman show who finds time to run the social media, create and design the website and be on top of inventory.” “The three cd’s I have in my car right now, which are such polar opposites, are Black Sabbath, Elliot Smith and Nina Simone. I find so much inspiration in music, art, and film and I try to relay that through my blog posts.” “I also have really cool friends that I have met through Trash and collaborate with, other young women who are photographers, models and stylists.” “I first set up when I signed up for a flea market for like $30 every Sunday. You get a 10x10 space and you can sell whatever you want. From there, I was like, ‘I don’t want to do just flea markets,’ so I started hitting up different bars and venues that were having shows or events going on, and I started setting up there.” “Now it’s kind of like this little community of vendors where we try to set up at events to make them more diverse” “There’s more going on there than just drinking or seeing a show.” “I even started working with Urban Outfitters. They have this lot called Space 24 Twenty in Austin where they asked me to host some pop-up shops and invite other vendors out. It’s a very curated collection of art, handmade goods, vintage, etc.” “I would say my demographic is mainly focused on 18-35-year olds, but I’ve honestly sold to 8th graders and even moms.” “My main thing for Trash is that I want people to march to the beat of their own drum and not feel like they have to be put into a box. Each article is handpicked with individualism and self-expression in mind.” “I’ve thought about the idea of having a warehouse and selling wholesale to different stores.” “I don’t know what I want to do, but it’s just taking it day by day.”

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CHEAT SHEET INSTAGRAM: @juliaardendixon SCHOOL: Texas State University ORGANIZATION: Trash Vintage (@shoptrashvintage) HOMETOWN: Corpus Christi, Texas MAJOR: Fashion Merchandising and Business YEAR: Senior

STUDYBREAKS.COM

SEPTEMBER 2016 //

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MEET THE PRESIDENT

WHAT IS YOUR MAJOR? Neuroscience, Psychology, Liberal Arts Honors WHAT IS YOUR DREAM JOB? Vice President for Student Affairs, Dean of Students, President of the University of Texas…who knows? Something in student affairs.

WHO ARE SOME OF YOUR FAVORITE AUTHORS? Malcolm Gladwell, J.K. Rowling, Roald Dahl. WHAT MUSIC ARE YOU INTO AT THE MOMENT? I’ve spent the past few days creating the playlist for Camp Texas, so I’m really into anything and everything upbeat.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PLACE ON THE INTERNET? Huffington Post, New York Times, Thought Catalog, and Facebook (what? I’m a millennial!) WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE INSTAGRAM ACCOUNT? Any account that posts a considerable number of corgi pictures!

WHAT ACADEMIC FOCUS MOST INTERESTS YOU? Educational leadership

WHAT MOVIE HAS HAD THE BIGGEST IMPACT ON YOUR LIFE? “Love Actually.” It places a huge emphasis on the power and importance of loving unconditionally and intentionally. If you’ve never seen it, you’re doing yourself a disservice.

WHAT QUALITIES DO YOU MOST ADMIRE IN A PERSON? A deeply rooted moral compass, a strong sense of values, and determination, drive and ambition.

WHAT IS CURRENTLY ON YOUR MIND? CAMP TEXAS! I leave for my last year as a Camp Texas counselor tomorrow—very bittersweet. WHAT HISTORICAL FIGURE DO YOU ADMIRE? Barack Obama. Pretty impressive that he’s already made history, huh? WHAT FICTIONAL CHARACTER DO YOU MOST IDENTIFY WITH? Peter Pan—I’m adventurous, I’m curious and I’d love to be a kid forever.

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WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PLACE TO EAT? Pho Saigon. Don’t like pho? You’re wrong. WHAT’S A SECRET TALENT OF YOURS? I can put both legs behind my head and walk on my hands. Weird, I know.

WHAT WILL YOU NEVER UNDERSTAND? Eighteen-wheelers that drive in the left lane, slow people in buffet lines, professors who leave streaks of dry-erase markers on the whiteboard—the list goes on. On a more serious note, I will never understand the many types of hate that exist in the world—racism, homophobia, misogyny, etc.

WHAT IS YOUR MOST MARKED CHARACTERISTIC? My public speaking ability. I’m a campus tour guide, so my voice can be heard ringing across the 40 Acres most Friday mornings. This is a nicer way of saying I talk too much and too loudly.

WHAT IS YOUR TYPICAL OUTFIT? Short shorts (sorry, Mom!), short-sleeved button down and Birkenstocks. I don’t take very kindly to change.

IF YOU COULD CHANGE ONE THING ABOUT YOURSELF, WHAT WOULD IT BE? The extent to which and the frequency with which I sweat in a suit. Hint: I sweat profusely in suits. I also have a tendency to spread myself a little too thin.

KEVIN SCOTT HELGREN

WHAT IS YOUR DEFINITION OF FAILURE? Not trying your absolute best to succeed.

Student Body President of the University of Texas at Austin

WHAT’S YOUR MOTTO? “Promise me you’ll always remember—you are braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem and smarter than you think.” –Christopher Robin to Winnie the Pooh

WHAT IS YOUR GREATEST ACHIEVEMENT? I’m extremely humbled to have been elected Student Body President at the University of Texas. It’s one of my greatest achievements, and I work hard everyday to deliver on the promises my team and I made to the student body.

WHERE WOULD YOU BE IF NOT IN COLLEGE? Traveling the world in an effort to learn as much about different cultures as humanly possible.

WHAT MAKES YOU NERVOUS? Heights. I’m incredibly scared of heights.

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST INDULGENCE? Blue Bell Chocolate-Chip Cookie Dough. Get it away from me.

WHAT IS YOUR MOST TREASURED POSSESSION? The bike I rode from Austin, Texas, to Anchorage, Alaska, to raise money for cancer research. His name is Cosmo!

WHAT LIVING PERSON WOULD YOU MOST LIKE TO MEET? Adele. Beyonce. Hillary Clinton. Any powerful, independent woman, really.


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Study Breaks Magazine September San Marcos