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All About Love

With Guest Lorella Doherty THE 5 PILLARS OF SELF-LOVE Loving ourselves is far more than simply loving our physical self; what we see reflected back at us in the mirror. It involves the constant practice of implementing these five pillars; which together allow us to love who we are at our very deepest level. Self-love is also a practice. It is something we never completely master, but instead something we forever have to work at. It gets easier over time once we realise our worth, and the joy and abundance it brings to our lives, but it continuously takes our time, energy and work. This is what our souls are continuously nudging us in the direction of; developing our love of self and honouring all that enables that. PILLAR ONE: SELF-ACCEPTANCE Self-love starts with accepting ourselves right here, right now. Without comparison against others, without judgement; simply accepting who we are in this very moment. This means letting go of the unrealistic expectations and high standards we often set for ourselves. We must accept the light and the dark aspects of our inner worlds and learn to love those parts of ourselves too. Because as soon as we accept these parts of ourselves, they soften. We hold out a hand to the small inner child who was once alone in the dark and allow them to step into and be bathed in the compassionate light and kind eyes of a loving adult, allowing them to simply be their true selves. PILLAR TWO: FORGIVENESS Sometimes in order to accept ourself, we first need to find forgiveness for ourselves. Every one of us has said and done things that we are not proud of; even things that are the source of guilt and shame for us. But this is part of being human, and we have free will to make mistakes, and then learn from them. This is how we acquire wisdom and how we deepen our virtues on this walk of life. But if we believe the false truth that we must be high, loving and wise one hundred 50

Issue #8 | The Inspired Guide | February 1st 2020

percent of the time, we will forever feel guilt and shame for our perfectly, imperfect humanness that we all are. Things start to shift when we can forgive ourselves, accept responsibility for all of our perceived faults, mistakes, regrets, difficulties and challenges and hold our humanness in compassion and self-love. PILLAR THREE: BOUNDARIES Boundaries are like an invisible line we draw around ourselves telling us what behaviours and actions of others are ok and not ok. Expressing our boundaries is the practice of letting people know and taking appropriate action when people have stepped over that line. It takes tremendous amounts of self-love and courage to honour our personal boundaries, to stand up for ourselves and what is instinctually right for us in each moment. There are a lot of people who sadly do not have clear boundaries themselves and so do not understand how to honour another’s boundaries. This can mean that when we do express to someone that they have crossed our boundary, we can trigger shame, anger, guilt or pain in them; which challenges us greatly in how much we are willing to honour ourselves and the love we hold for ourselves, as opposed to ‘keeping the peace’ or pleasing others. This is something we continuously face throughout our lives and is one of the hardest pillars of self-love to pup-keep. We need to continuously go back to our mental image (draw it if you need to), of our invisible line around ourselves, for what can come into our boundary and what must stay out. This is the ultimate practice of loving ourselves. No one can judge what feels safe and ok for you, but you. PILLAR FOUR: LISTENING IN AND HONOURING OUR NEEDS This is the practice of pausing throughout our day and tuning into our body and inner world to find out what we need in that moment, on our

ALL ABOUT LOVE FEATURE

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The Inspired Guide - Issue #8  

Read Issue #8 of The Inspired Guide - FREE Conscious Living and Holistic Wellbeing eMagazine! Filled with inspiring and informative article...

The Inspired Guide - Issue #8  

Read Issue #8 of The Inspired Guide - FREE Conscious Living and Holistic Wellbeing eMagazine! Filled with inspiring and informative article...

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