C o n t a c t The Parish Magazine
St Maryâ€™s Church, Ilkeston The Church in the Market Place
Dates for your diary (in addition to the regular Sunday & Wednesday Services) 1st -
Justin Martyr - (c. 100 – 165) Justin Martyr is regarded as the first ever Christian philosopher.
Sunday Lunch Share a meal with the church family at the Sir John Warren
Terry Waite at Derby QUAD 7pm - 8pm Terry Waite, humanitarian and author, will talk about ‘Solitude’ his new book iabout traveling around the world to explore what solitude means. Tickets £8 from http://www.derbybookfestival.co.uk/whats-on/terry-waite/
Petroc – the abbot of Padstow A 6th century abbot who is Cornwall’s most famous saint.
Ilkeston Carnival Rutland Sports and Recreation Ground 12 noon until 5pm
12th - Barnabas Paul’s first missionary companion 16th - New Greasley Singers Concert - see also page 13
21st - Fathers’ Day - see page 17 21st - Summer Solstice In the Northern Hemisphere this is when the sun seems to stand still in the sky resulting in the longest day and the shortest night of the year. Sol + stice come from two Latin words meaning ‘sun’ and ‘to stand still’. 22nd - St Alban Widely recognised as the first British martyr, Alban’s body was buried near the site of the present town and later became a major place of pilgrimage 24th - John the Baptist – see page 6 30th - Friends of St Mary’s Churchyard Working Party - 10am 3
A READER’S LETTER Dear Friends, The previous two months of the year always seem to have an abundance of important festivals and holidays tumbling one after another. Easter, May Day, Ascension Day and Pentecost which, in the secular world, is known as ‘Spring Bank holiday’ and then there is nothing of note until the statutory Bank holiday at the end of August, but that doesn’t mean there is nothing happening. This month of June in the church’s calendar is known as ‘Petertide’. As the name suggests, it has a lot to do with Saint Peter whose special commemorative day falls on June 29th. Simon Peter was one of Jesus’ disciples, a fisherman who was called to be ‘a fisher of human beings’ but who was actually more comfortable with fish in a fishing boat. Jesus changed Simon Peter completely – his name, his profession his self-image, his family life and his expectations. He was the first to confess that Jesus is the Son of God. He, like the rest of us, also made one or two blunders. Peter found it hard to accept the fact that Jesus would submit to death on the cross and must have found it equally hard to be forgiven by the risen Lord and thence given the great commission to ‘feed my sheep’. In other words, to carry on Christ’s work when he was no longer physically with them. It is this same commissioning work, begun by Peter and now carried on by today’s disciples, which we celebrate at Peter-tide, as men and women are ordained deacons and priests. The disciples had been well taught and nurtured by Jesus, but when the time came for Jesus to hand over the work to this group of eleven ordinary , frightened people, they must have felt quite bereft when Jesus was taken from them and quite daunted by the scale of the work they had been given. In just a few weeks’ time, we might feel the same way when Carole, our vicar leaves us. We may feel rather like those disciples - lost without our leader and a bit overwhelmed by the volume of work. However, we have been well cared-for and well taught by both Carole and Roger and we are very grateful. Like the disciples, we are not left entirely to our own devices, but have the guiding power of the Holy Spirit to help us in the task of being Christ’s body in Ilkeston. 4
In their letter to Philippians, Paul and Timothy say, ‘God, who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus’. I am indebted to Peter for showing us how to be changed by Jesus so that we, as a church, can embrace being changed and transformed into the likeness of Christ and carry on his good work in the months and years ahead. Your sister in Christ, Andrea (Reader)
A Message From Sue Attenborough I am willing to take orders for Mothers’ Union Greetings Cards and Christmas Cards and also for the new 2019 Diaries, Calendars and Year Planners. At the moment I don’t have the new Price List but they have been such good value in previous years and it’s no trouble so looking forward to hearing from you.
FROM THE REGISTERS
May 11th - Betty Murphy
May 14th - Jamie Henshaw May 22nd - Sheila Meakin (Services conducted by Revd. Carole Lloyd)
ROYAL AIR FORCE The following was submitted to “Searchlight” an RAF newsletter by a Mr William Francis and has been shared here by our own church member Colin Shaw who served in the RAF: ‘Long ago, in a basha far away, as Adjudant of the recently created RAF Detachment at Kuching, Sarawak, we needed a Bible and a Koran to take oaths at enquiries and charges. So I sent a requisition to the gods on Temple Hill (Far East Air Force, Changi). After a couple of weeks the form was returned with a note: “Please state author and publisher”! I bought the books down town.’ 5
JUNE 24th - JOHN THE BAPTIST Preparing The Way For The Messiah John the Baptist is famous for baptising Jesus, and for losing his head to a woman. He was born to Zechariah, a Temple priest, and Elizabeth, who was a cousin of Mary, the mother of Jesus. John was born when his mother was advanced in years, and after the foretelling of his birth and the choice of his name by an angel, we hear nothing more of him until he began his mission of preaching and baptising in the River Jordan c27. John was a lot like an Old Testament prophet: he lived simply on locusts and honey in the wilderness, and his message was one of repentance and preparation for the coming of the Messiah and His Kingdom. He went on to baptise Jesus, at Jesus’ firm request. When John went on to denounce the incestuous union of Herod Antipas with his niece and brother’s wife, Herodias, he was imprisoned and eventually beheaded at the demand of Salome, Herodias’ daughter. John is the only saint to be remembered three times in the Christian calendar, in commemoration of his conception, his birth (June 24), and his martyrdom. When John saw Jesus he said that Jesus was the “Lamb of God”, and he is the only person to use this expression of Jesus. In art John is often depicted carrying a lamb, or with a lamb near him.
Revd. Paul Hardingham looks forward to the world cup…
World Cup Fever The former Liverpool Manager Bill Shankly famously said, ‘Some people believe football is a matter of life and death, I am very disappointed with that attitude. I can assure you it is much, much more important than that!’ This month sees the start of the World Cup in Russia; a truly global event watched by billions on television. Yet this competition illustrates some key points about the Christian life. As Paul writes: ‘But one thing I do: forgetting what is behind and straining towards what is ahead, I press on towards the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenwards in Christ Jesus.’ (Philippians 3:13b,14). A prize to be won: The dream of every player in the competition is to be able to hold up the World Cup themselves. For us the prize is the eternal life, God’s gift of relationship with him for now and eternity through Jesus. But there’s an important difference between football and the Christian faith. To win the World Cup you have to be good enough, while Christ’s love for us is underserved and is not dependent on how well we’ve done. Training to be undertaken: If a team is going to win the World Cup, they have to train hard beforehand. Our training, as Christians, starts the moment we accept the gift of God’s life. On a daily basis, we train ourselves to say no to the wrong things in our lives. As we build up our godly muscles we are better able to choose to do what is right in God’s eyes. To enable us to do all this we need to engage in the spiritual disciplines of prayer, studying the Bible and being part of a church and small group. How is your training going?
1918 was the final year of the Great War. This year, Canon David Winter will look back on highlights of those critical 12 months, when the very shape of modern world history was being hammered out on the battlefields.
Diary of a Momentous Year: June 1918: ‘THE CHURCH ARMY’S HUTS’ An interesting piece from the archives of the Church Times a few weeks ago vividly illustrates the way the war on the western front changed in 1918. For years the Church Army, like the Salvation Army, had run what they called ‘huts’, close behind the trenches, where soldiers could find on their free time a meal and hot drinks, comfortable seats and company, offering emotional and spiritual support. These ‘huts’ were very popular with the troops, and for years most of them remained in place, indicating how static the whole conflict was. But in one month, April 1918, the Church Army lost 57 of them, as German advances overtook their positions. In most cases the land was recaptured, but the huts needed rebuilding. The war had changed. It was no longer a static battle of soldiers with rifles and bayonets charging batteries of machine guns, but an increasingly fluid conflict involving tanks and aircraft. Although at first the Allied generals were slow to recognise it, the new style of war suited them best. Over the years they had built a formidable war machine, involving thousands of tanks and tens of thousands of aircraft, with tactics to match. Not only that, but the arrival of the Americans in large numbers, added to the vast number of troops from the Empire (now the Commonwealth) meant that casualties could be replaced in the Allied ranks. The Germans and their Austro-Hungarian allies had no such source of fresh manpower, turning instead to younger and older men to fill the depleted ranks. The German generals were aware of the situation, and desperate to make inroads before it was too late, in the hope of achieving a relatively ‘neutral’ peace agreement in due course. On June 9th the German General Ludendorff launched a major offensive in Flanders. Like so many, it gained several miles, but cost many lives and eventually petered out. 8
There would be several more such attempts, some of which threatened to succeed, but in fact the eventual outcome was becoming clear. The German people were disillusioned with the Kaiser. Their troops were exhausted. The civilian population were restless. There would be, as we shall see, battles to come, but there would barely be time to rebuild those huts.
Short Prayers Prayers donâ€™t need to be long to be acceptable to God. For instance, consider: Peter (Matt 14.30): Lord, save me. A Canaanite woman (Matt 15.25): Lord, help me. Samuel (1 Sam. 3:10): Speak, for your servant is listening. Psalm 43.3: O send out your light and your truth; let them lead me; let them bring me to your holy hill and to your dwelling. Christians in later years have adopted the same form. Michelangelo: Lord, make me see your glory in every place. Gladys Aylward: O God, give me strength. William Barclay: O God, keep me from being difficult to live with. Francois Fenelon: Teach me to pray. Pray yourself in me. John Wesley: O Lord, let us not live to be useless, for Christâ€™s sake. Why not practise saying a simple sentence prayer of your own each day?
All in the month of June It was: ★ 200 years ago, on 17th June 1818 that Charles Gounod was born. This French composer is best known for the well-loved Ave Maria and his operas, notably Faust. ★ 150 years ago, on 7th June 1868 that Charles Rennie Mackintosh, Scottish architect, artist and designer, was born. He was prominent in the Arts and Crafts movement and influenced European design movements such as Art Nouveau and Secessionism. ★ 125 years ago, on 7th June 1893 that Mahatma Gandhi committed his first act of civil disobedience while working as a lawyer in South Africa. He refused to comply with racial segregation rules which prohibited coloured people from travelling first class on trains. He refused to leave a first-class carriage and was thrown off the train in Pietermaritzburg. (After protesting, he was allowed on the following day.) ★ 90 years ago, on 14th June 1928, that Emmeline Pankhurst, leader of the British suffragette movement died. ★ 65 years ago, on 2nd June 1953, that the coronation of Queen Elizabeth II at Westminster Abbey, London took place. (This was also the first event where the British TV audience was greater than the radio audience.) ★ 40 years ago, on 19th June 1978 that British cricketer Ian Botham became the first player in history to score a century and take eight wickets in a single Test match. (In the Second Test against Pakistan at Lord’s Cricket Ground.) ★ 30 years ago, on 11th June 1988 that Nelson Mandela’s 70th Birthday Tribute took place at Wembley Stadium, and was broadcast to a worldwide audience of 600 million. Mandela was still in prison, and not released until February 1990. (His actual birthday was 18th July.)
See page 14 for “Joyce’s Jottings” as Joyce Rich delves into Ilkeston Library’s archives for the month of June. 11
I WENT INTO A CHURCH …. Part 12 by Revd. Carole Lloyd I went into a church one Sunday whilst on holiday - it was All Saints Church in Sidmouth. It’s an unprepossessing building, built in the mid 19th century to provide additional worship space as the population expanded. We entered the church through a modern, light and attractive glazed link between the church and hall buildings and were greeted by a team of welcomers. It was a slightly unusual week for the church as the morning services had come together for a single service as the Annual Meeting was to be held after the service followed by a ‘bring and share’ lunch. The building was warm (they installed underfloor heating in 2010 when the church was re-ordered) and it was already pretty full 20 minutes before the start of the service. We sat down on comfortable chairs in the nave area - there was also seating in the two transepts with the music group and organ sited in the south transept. During the re-ordering the apse area had been made into a separate chapel with oak and glass screening, incorporating projector screens. At the back of the nave under the gallery, where the AV equipment was situated, was a screened off area which was being used by a crèche. This can be opened up for larger services. Before the service I was spoken to by my neighbour who welcomed us and asked where we were from. We soon established that we had a connection through her friend who is a Reader at Breadsall. The worship was quite informal but had a clear structure with music, confession, readings, 12
sermon, testimony and intercessions. As the worship began it was lovely to hear the voices of small children coming from this crèche area. However, the congregation of around 180 adults soon managed to drown them out with the enthusiastic singing of worship songs led by the music group. The children, over 20 of them, left for their own activities before the readings. The theme of the service was based around Colossians Chapter 1. The focus was on the fact that Jesus is Lord and that wherever we are and whatever we’re doing during the week this should influence our lives. The Vicar referred to Bill Gates and how Microsoft was predicated on the simple vision that each home should have a PC and suggested that maybe we’re often too limited in our vision in the church. I took away the feeling that God is working in our nation today - that we should have more vision and that we should be confident in the fact that Jesus is Lord. Footnote: The church’s electoral roll has grown from 193 to 217 in the past 12 months since the new Vicar arrived.
In Concert - New Greasley Singers The New Greasley Singers will be in concert in St Mary’s on June 16th and their varied programme of popular, religious and classical music will include pieces by such composers as Irving Berlin, the Gershwins, John Rutter and Karl Jenkins. With vocal and instrumental solos the group will perform items from across the musical spectrum featuring not only “Ave Maria” and “African Sanctus” but also “Chattanooga Choo Choo“ and a medley of Queen songs so it’s certain to be entertaining evening. It’s also good value at £7.00 (includes refreshments) and tickets are available from Ceril Little or phone 0115 9326835.
Box Opening Time Is In June If you have a box could you please bring it to church or if you would like me to collect it, ring me on 9306502. Thank you, Janet Reeve 13
Joyce’s Jottings from the Ilkeston Library archives for …. .... JUNE in the 1950s The Revd. J. A. Norman, curate at St. Mary's, was ordained Priest in Derby Cathedral in June, 1954 and on June 8th, 1956, two new members of staff were appointed, the Revd. F. S. Statham, Priest-in-charge of St. Mary's Mission, Station Road, and the Revd. F. R. Hazel to be curate at the parish Church. They were welcomed at a social evening in St. Mary's Schools. St. Mary's caused a stir, also in June, 1956. Townsfolk looking up to the Church clock to check the time found it had gone. The clock had kept Ilkeston punctual since 1864, but now needed its first, full refurbishment, “a good brush-up and overhaul”. John Smith of Derby was at work constructing a new face of medium white opal plastic. The existing metal-work was to be cleaned and repainted; any rusted fittings were to be restored. Fine shards of broken glass had been carefully removed and all glass would be replaced. The hands were to be re-gilded, using 23 carat (?) gold leaf. The work would take two weeks, and cost £135. Meanwhile, the hours were still chiming out from the empty face space. In June, 1957, the Duke of Devonshire came specially to St. Mary's to declare open the summer fete. It was the first event to say farewell to Canon Reginald Foskett and his wife, who were to leave after nine years during which they had both served the parish and the community faithfully. Although tinged with sadness, the fete itself was a great success, in spite of the rain. A serious matter arose in June, 1959. The tower was in danger. Steeplejacks had surveyed it and recommended urgent repairs. The P.C.C. therefore ordered this vital work to be carried out. Finally, the old wooden flagpole would be removed, and a new, lightweight aluminium one installed, 30 foot high. It was hoped that the annual Garden Party proceeds would cover the £150 cost. 14
…. and in the 1970s In June, 1971, a “Yak” service took place in St. Mary's. Canon A. C. Robertson (who was by now Vicar and Rural Dean of Ilkeston) explained that it was to let people know what “Yak” week was. The service included a play, modern dancing and gospel songs by the “Followers”, the Nottingham Road Methodist Church folk group. (We can only guess what “Yak” week was, as nowhere in the report are we told.) At the end of June, 1975, two paintings were stolen from near the Altar. The paintings (which were copies) represented Our Lord's appearance to Thomas, painted about 1600, and the Christ Child, painted around 1700. Both were about 12 inches square, in ornate gold frames – value £20 each.
With June weddings in mind… Judge: ‘Have you ever been cross examined before?’ Accused: ‘Yes, your honour, I am a married man.’ At her wedding the bride tripped and fell into the arms of the vicar. ‘That’s the first time I’ve held a fallen woman,’ he quipped. To which she retorted: ‘It’s the first time I’ve been picked up by a vicar!’ 15
May 30th - Josephine Butler On May 30th the Church of England honoured Josephine Butler in its Calendar of great Christians of the past. It seems appropriate in this particular year to recognise the contribution of a woman who came decades before the suffragettes but fought many of the same battles. Josephine Butler’s was an often-lonely Victorian voice, challenging injustice, prejudice and discrimination. She was a noted champion of victims of child slavery and sexual exploitation. Her opposition to the Dangerous Diseases Act, which ruled that a man who was infected with an STD could sue the woman who was ‘responsible’, eventually won parliamentary approval – but it took 20 years of campaigning. She fought to get the age of consent raised from 13 to 16, and also brought about an end to the practice of ‘selling’ young girls into the hands of unscrupulous men. All of this campaigning was motivated by her profound Christian faith. Her best-known quote was ‘God and one woman make a majority’ – her response to the continual parliamentary majority against change, when there were, of course, no votes for women and no women MPs. Supported by her husband, a vicar, and by a growing band of women, this Victorian predecessor of the Women’s Rights movement fully deserves to be remembered and honoured this year.
June 21st Fathers’ Day Sonora Louise Smart Dodd heard a sermon in 1909 in Spokane, Washington, about the merits of setting aside a day to honour one's mother. Mother's Day was just beginning to gather widespread attention but she knew that it was her father who had selflessly raised herself and her five siblings after their mother had died in childbirth. The sermon gave Sonora the idea to petition for a day to honour fathers and set about planning a celebration. The Spokane city council approved the idea and the first Fathers’ Day was celebrated in the city on June 19th 1910. Gradually the celebration caught on but it was not until 1972 that Richard Nixon signed a presidential proclamation declaring the third Sunday of June as Fathers’ Day. It is now a great time to celebrate all male role models, like uncles or grandfathers, as well as dads. 17
Aspects of Ilkeston The Aspects of Ilkeston exhibition in St. Mary’s Church was held over the early Spring Bank Holiday weekend of May 5th, 6th and 7th. The exhibition was very well received by the members of the public, who did us proud by supporting the Ilkeston and District Local History Society and St. Mary’s Church. We had over 300 people attend during the two and a half days of the exhibition and the compliments received made it well worth doing. The idea behind it was that we gave people a taste of local history, and hopefully it got them interested enough to do some research themselves. The reference section of Ilkeston library is a real gem for anyone wanting to do this. I must give thanks to Rev. Carole Lloyd, and everyone else from St. Mary’s who worked so hard to promote the church, with the self guided walks. Lots of people commented on the fact they had never been inside the church before and couldn’t believe how beautiful it was. We who were married there knew it was of course. Sue in the Cantelupe Centre kept everyone “stoked up” with teas and coffees, and the whole weekend was a pleasure to be involved with. Thank you all for helping us make this event such a success. Plans are already being made for a follow up next year.
Paul Miller (Ilkeston & District History Society)
All photos from the Aspects of Ilkeston Exhibition by Roger Lloyd 19
This quiz originally appeared in the East Leicester Fellowship of URC Churches. The books of the Bible, as they appear in the quiz, are as follows: Amos, Mark, Luke, John, Joel, Judges, Job, Hebrews, Esther, Acts, James, Ruth, Romans, Titus, Matthew, Genesis, Philemon (spelt Phillemon in quiz), Chronicles, Daniel, Nahum, Hosea, Lamentations, Revelation, Timothy, Samuel, Numbers, Malachi, Peter, Exodus, Kings.
Can you find 30 books of the Bible hidden in this passage? This is a most remarkable puzzle. It was found by a gentleman in an airplane seat pocket, on a flight from Los Angeles to Honolulu, keeping him occupied for hours. He enjoyed it so much that he passed it on to some friends. One friend from Illinois worked on this while fishing from his John-boat. Another friend studied it while playing his banjo. Elaine Taylor, a columnist friend, was so intrigued by it, she mentioned it in her weekly newspaper column. Another friend judges the job of solving this puzzle so involving that she brews a cup of tea to help her nerves. There will be some names that are really easy to spot. That's a fact. Some people, however, will soon find themselves in a jam, especially since the books are not necessarily capitalised. Truthfully from answers we get, we are forced to admit it usually takes a minister or scholar to see some of them at the worst. Research has shown that something in our genes is responsible for the difficulty we have in seeing the books in these paragraphs. During a recent fundraising event, which features this puzzle, the Alpha Delta Phil-Lemonade booth set a new sales record. The local paper, the Chronicle, surveyed over 50 patrons who reported that this puzzle was one of the most difficult they had ever seen. As Daniel Humana humbly puts it, "the books are all right here in plain view, hidden from sight". Those able to find all of them will hear great lamentations from those who have to be shown. One revelation that may help is that books Timothy and Samuel appear without their numbers. Also, keep in mind, that punctuation and spaces in the middle are normal. A chipper attitude will help you compete really well against those who claim to know the answers. Remember, there is no need for a mass exodus, there really are 30 books of the Bible lurking somewhere in these paragraphs waiting to be found.
Solution on page 28 20
Good Diet It seems that overweight folk who are given diet coaching by the NHS are losing an average of more than half a stone each. The programme includes overweight patients being sent for around a dozen classes on diet, cooking and keeping fit, costing about ÂŁ435 per head over a period of nine months. The Health Service has found that the measures will pay for themselves, by preventing thousands of cases of diabetes.
A Day Out at Repton By Sheila Spencer Repton seems rather insignificant today as opposed to its famous past. Thirteen centuries ago it was the Saxon capital of Mercia which covered the whole of the midlands. It was in the 7th century that a monastery was built here. The priory buildings to the east of the church are used by Repton School which was founded in 1557. There is evidence of the school everywhere today. Bells ring and lines of children move from building to building overwhelming the quiet town. The church has a splendid tower but is most famous for its crypt. It was the final resting place of Mercian Kings, (probably only their bones). The shrine became a place of pilgrimage but in the 16th century disappeared from view. In 1779 a workman digging a grave fell into the crypt so it can be seen today. Uneven steps lead to a small chamber with four central columns. Sir John Betjeman described it as â€œholy air encased in stoneâ€?. The church itself is 14th century and I remember attending a MU service there some years ago. In the church yard are sixteen Commonwealth War Graves from World War II. These men were mainly casualties from the nearby Burnaston Airfield. There are no public toilets but you are allowed to use those at the Bulls Head Pub. I was a bit worried as I had the dog with me. However, the barmaid was a dog lover and entertained Sadie while I was away.
St Wystan's Parish Church
The visit did not last very long so we decided to go to the nearby Mercia Marina where there are shops and cafes. Unfortunately the car park was full so we progressed to a pub on the outskirts of Burton for lunch. More of a half day out really but very enjoyable. 22
Ilkeston Debt Centre Success Since its launch in May 2017 the Ilkeston CAP debt Centre has been successfully helping local families deal with their debts. The families that have been seen live in Ilkeston and its environs with visits being made in Heanor, Langley Mill, Eastwood, West Hallam and Ilkeston itself. Families accessing the service have benefitted from help with managing their debt and beginning the process of working towards becoming debt free. Local churches have also supported in practical ways by sending food parcels, Christmas hampers and practical household items. Tesco has also given support by donating toys as Christmas gifts for the needy families and CAP is very grateful to them for their help. In November a fish and chip supper was held for clients in the Elim Church, Ilkeston and a CAP speaker from Leeds brought hope and encouragement to the families who often feel isolated and alone when faced with unmanageable debt. Two clients also enjoyed a welcome break away in the Peak District on a CAP Discovery Break. Other clients have been taken on visits to see Santa (with their children, of course!), and enjoyed coffee in a local garden centre with a friendly and supportive local volunteer. Local debt centre manager, Ian Robertson said, â€˜We are very happy with how the project is progressing but would like to encourage anyone needing help with debt to come forward as we still have capacity to meet their need.â€™ If you are struggling with debt and would welcome support from CAP please ring the helpline number.
Writing to his nephew Darren, a recently ordained low church curate this latest letter from Eustace, the elderly Anglo-Catholic parish vicar of St James-the-Least-of-All is about â€œChurch tourists and outrageous liesâ€?. My dear Nephew Darren I was sorry to hear of the dawn call by the police because your church had been broken into, although the theft of tambourines, books of choruses and banners proclaiming "Jesus wants me for a Sunbeam" are likely to have a limited market. But you are fortunate that those are the only unexpected call-outs you receive. Those of us with ancient churches are resigned to receiving telephone calls from people living in remote corners of the globe who happen to be on holiday in England and want to trace long-lost relatives who were married or buried in our parishes. They invariably seem amazed when they find you are not personally familiar with someone who died 400 years ago, what family still exists, where they live and what interesting anecdotes you know about their ancestors - preferably something criminal. Any attempts to put them off will be deflected by being told that they fly home tomorrow and since they are booked at a show in London that evening, could they come round early afternoon? Once inside the church, they will expect a conducted tour. I have a competition with myself to see how outrageous I can make our history, yet still be believed. One family now thinks that the conical tomb in the churchyard is the last visible tip of the spire of the famous cathedral which once stood on this spot but sank into the ground when cursed by a bride who was jilted at its altar. A second couple now know that a locked safe contains a set of pagan gods which were worshipped by an obscure sect in the parish during the time of the Tudor monarchs. They were removed by the incumbent of the day and locked away. Only the Rector is allowed a key and is only permitted to look inside at the contents on the day he leaves office, as the sight is too terrible. Yet another are convinced that several dozen mediaeval gold chalices are buried in the rectory garden, where they were hidden from Cromwell's soldiers and their exact location has been forgotten (I told that story when I was looking for volunteers to dig over the rose beds). Should they get as far as the vestry to inspect the registers of baptisms, marriages and burials, you know that the afternoon is lost. It can occasionally hasten their departure by casually telling them to ignore the mice which will be running round the floor - although hardened visitors are likely to set up their tripods to catch them on film. The ultimate deterrent is to suggest they stay to Evensong which I am about to say. That is guaranteed to remind them that they have an urgent appointment back at their hotel. Your loving uncle, Eustace 25
30 hidden books of the Bible answers This is A MOSt reMARKable puzzle. It was found by a gentleman in an airplane seat pocket, on a flight from Los Angeles to HonoluLU, KEeping him occupied for hours. He enjoyed it so much that he passed it on to some friends. One friend from Illinois worked on this while fishing from his JOHN-boat. Another friend studied it while playing his banJO. ELaine Taylor, a columnist friend, was so intrigued by it, she mentioned it in her weekly newspaper column. Another friend JUDGES the JOB of solving this puzzle so involving that sHE BREWS a cup of tea to help her nervES. THERe will be some names that are really easy to spot. That's a fACT. Some people, however, will soon find themselves in a JAM, ESpecially since the books are not necessarily capitalised. TRUTHfully fROM ANSwers we get, we are forced to admiT IT USually takes a minister or scholar to see some of theM AT THE Worst. Research has shown that something in our GENES IS responsible for the difficulty we have in seeing the books in these paragraphs. During a recent fundraising event, which features this puzzle, the Alpha Delta PHIL-LEMONade booth set a new sales record. The local paper, the CHRONICLE, Surveyed over 50 patrons who reported that this puzzle was one of the most difficult they had ever seen. As DANIEL HumaNA HUMbly puts it, "the books are all right here in plain view, hidden from sight". THOSE Able to find all of them will hear great LAMENTATIONS from those who have to be shown. One REVELATION that may help is that books TIMOTHY and SAMUEL appear without their NUMBERS. Also, keep in mind, that punctuation and spaces in the middle are norMAL. A CHIpper attitude will help you comPETE Really well against those who claim to know the answers. Remember, there is no need for a mass EXODUS, there really are 30 books of the Bible lurKING Somewhere in these paragraphs waiting to be found.
Be with you The vicar at a local church experienced some technical problems with the sound system one Sunday. Instead of starting the service as usual with ‘The Lord be with you’, he said: ‘There’s something wrong with this microphone.’ Not hearing this, the congregation responded: ‘And also with you.’
Rotas for June Please swap with someone if you are unable to make any of these dates. Thank you.
Sunday Service at 10am Date Reader
June 3rd June 10th June 17th June 24th
Andrea Swarbrick Janet Reeve Mary Hawkins Ceril Little
S Topping & Sue Attenborough Mary Hawkins & Mary Morton Sue Bell Pauline Hyde & Sandra Neep
Sue Bell Sue Attenborough Franklin Bishop Roger Lloyd
Sunday Sides Persons Rota Date 8am
June 3rd June 10th June 17th June 24th
Ceril Little Garth & Sandra Newton Sue Baker Sue Bell
Peter Brown Brian Spibey Frank Pinder Grace Henshaw
Tuesday - Mother and Toddler Drinks & Snacks Date June 5th June 12th June 19th June 26th
Mary Hawkins Andrea Swarbrick Sylvia Puxty Joyce Rich
Wednesday Service at 9.30am Date Reader
June 6th June 13th June 20th June 27th
Janet Reeve Sue Attenborough & Margaret Turner Sue Bell Pauline Hyde
Janet Reeve Margaret Turner John Bell Patricia McHale
Saturday Coffee Bar Date June 2nd June 9th June 16th June 23rd June 30th
Janet Reeve, Mary Morton, Ceril Little Mary Hawkins. Sandra Newton, Garth Newton Susan Bell, John Bell, Margaret Turner Sue Attenborough, James New To be arranged - see notice board
St Mary’s Church, Ilkeston Who’s Who
Interim Priest In Charge: Revd. Carole Lloyd - Tel: 930 8316 1 Ascot Close West Hallam Ilkeston DE7 6LB
Sunday 8.00am -Holy Communion (Book of Common Prayer)
Readers: Andrea Swarbrick - Tel: 932 6523 7 Drummond Rd, Ilkeston email: firstname.lastname@example.org John Puxty - Tel: 930 1601 32 Summerfield Way, Shipley View email: email@example.com Churchwardens: Peter Hodson - Tel: 932 2974 Mary Hawkins - Tel 854 2634 Verger: Sue Attenborough - Tel: 930 4140 Cantelupe Centre: James New - Tel: 932 1329 firstname.lastname@example.org Website: www.stmarysilkeston.co.uk Contact Magazine: Editorial Team email@example.com
10.00am - Main Service Followed by Coffee and Fellowship
First Sunday of the Month Children's activity in church Wednesday 9.30am Holy Communion (Common Worship) Followed by Coffee and Fellowship
Other Regular Events Thursday 7.30pm - 9.00pm Bell Ringing Practice Contact: Colin Shaw – 0115 932 7072
Last Saturday of Each Month Friends of St Mary’s Churchyard 10am - Working Party (Mar-Oct)
Uniformed Groups Rainbows Contact: Candy – 0115 932 8244
Brownies Contact: Brown Owl Lynne Cresswell – 0115 877 1592
The Parish magazine of St Mary's Church, Ilkeston, Derbyshire