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May - 2012

LEFTOVERS THE PISS DRUNKS THE MISERY JACKALS EERIE EVIDENCE DRUM ROLL STUDIOS MOLLY ALGERNON PHOTOGRAPHY


THE GOAD-MAN COMETH...

“I made a deal with my shrink that I wouldn’t drink on my meds if he let me come here to visit...” The friendly bartender laughed, “I’ll have to remember that one...” We all laughed, including Goad-X, the server of such a memorable line. The grave reality behind Goad’s humorous antidote, though, is the fact that he’s schizophrenic – bonafide, if you will. I met Goad X almost ten years ago at our first staff meeting after he volunteered to contribute a monthly column featuring the underbelly of Seattle’s Goth Industrial scene. Those were the good ol’ days, when anything and everything seemed possible, when dreams didn’t have cannibals running through them hunting for heads to chop off. It seems like yesterday, as most dreams do, when Goad-X asked if he could catch a ride with us to Woodland Park for the meeting, a surreal city park full of towering trees and wild rabbits nestled off HWY 99 in Seattle – the same stretch of pavement that Gary Ridgeway used to hunt victims upon too. The three of us arrived at the shelter an hour early to prepare the snacks and booze, giving me time to feel out Goad-X before the others showed up. I declined his offer to help and encouraged him to explore the rustic surroundings. It was then that my phone rang. Assuming it was our first guest looking for us I quickly grabbed my phone, but I was wrong. It was Goad-X. “Is this Chuck Foster?” came across. I said, “Yes. Is this Goad-X ?” “Yeah, man. I just wanted to make sure it was you.” We were looking at each other from about 30 yards apart when the conversation ended. The woman and I shrugged it off. Minutes later Goad-X returned from a short hike through the forest asking us to help him find his cell phone, that he had “dropped” it somewhere. A few minutes later it was found in some deep brush – another shrug and laugh followed. An hour later about a dozen of us met face to face for the first time, each only knowing one another through text and thought in The Sinner. As the meeting drunkened down to small talk Goad-X began throwing his cell phone on top of the shelter, slightly pitched for rain to fall from. It reminded me of my childhood days, tossing my brother’s old football on top of the house and catching it, imagining every reception was followed by the screams of thousands of fans – the same good ol’ days of safe dreams. Each of us had an eye that wandered in his direction that afternoon, looking without looking, or not wanting to get caught with that look of “What the fuck?” on each of our faces. Our former editor asked me what was going on, and all I could offer was another shrug of the shoulders and a quiet chuckle. Then shit got weird. From the corner of my eye I noticed Goad-X standing fully spread, right arm fully extended upwards, trembling with concentration. But what the fuck was he doing? It was his last toss that landed his phone stuck on the roof of the shelter. All drunken small talk ceased. The new task was to once again retrieve this phone that he had lost for the second time. Luckily for GoadX our former editor is literally almost 7 foot tall and a long broken limb was close by. From there the meeting ended with Goad-X displaying his martial art skills with a number of kicks and punches for the staff. On the way back to Goad’s house I sat silent for a minute, digesting his peculiar behavior of the afternoon. Then from the backseat came, “Sorry guys, I’m schizophrenic.” Oh shit, I thought, this mother-fucker’s nuts! Is he another Ridgeway? Is he now pulling a knife from his boot to slice my throat and take the woman somewhere along the river to have his way with her, only to leave our mutilated bodies food for maggots and vultures? Should we pull over now and kick him to the curb on this desolate stretch of pavement to fend for himself with the other crazies? What Goad-X didn’t know at the time is that I’m about as crazy as it comes, fearing not man, beast or god. I laughed my initial paranoias away and assured him all was well and that we looked forward to doing it again. Again just happened to be 10 more years and counting.

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What’s more disturbing than Goad-X’s schizophrenia is the fact that our media and entertainment industry, which are pretty much the same, still to this day label people with mental diseases, like Goad-X, as “crazy”. That’s where my initial thoughts spawned. Over the years I came to understand that Goad-X believes in the power of telekinesis, a mutation of sorts, and that he desires to be a genuine super hero. And let me say this, he is. I saw him leap across a huge booth one night at a Seattle goth club to extinguish a fire from a friend’s gorgeous long hair which became ignited when she leaned into a candle behind her – all in one quick clap of his hands, after leaping over her husband. The flame was silenced so fast, that she was never even aware her hair was a glowing 12-inch flame, which sent me in the other direction as I sat beside her. In the end, only a few inches of hair were scorched. Without GoadX her head would have certainly burned up and caused a massive panic through out the packed club. All I could say afterwards was, “You are a super hero, Goad-X!” The stories could go on, but those are tales of heroism that might endanger Goad-X’s freedom with his shrink and the SPD. Today the meds and a state shrink are keeping the hero in check of some sorts. On his visit here to

...AND THE GOAD-MAN LEAVETH Misery there were no cell phone retrievals, no fires to extinguish, no hoodlums to taser. Just good times again, celebrating The Sinner’s third anniversary here in St. Louis. Good ol’ days, dreams where cannibals are beheaded and cheers from thousands of saved damsels in distress are heard for miles. And for Goad-X, he has returned to Seattle, and writing for The Sinner again. What he’s doing now as I type this ending, probably shooting piss out of his wiener... And that, my dear sinners, is just another tale of fear and publishing in two cities...

WRITERS, RANTERS, OPINIONISTS & OTHER ALL-OUT FREAKS: Mark Taylor-Canfield Paul Blow Lucifer Saab Lofton Malice Henry Nicolle Kimberly Peters

Emily Eufinger The Surley Gourmand Guitar Doug Rajkhet Dirzhud-Rashid Kendra Holliday Tina D

Publisher: Chuck Foster Layout: Terri Daniels Seattle Operations manager: Guitar Doug Cover Art: Molly Algernon Photography Cover Model: Jessi Lisette

The Sinner is a group of contributing writers. Their opinions, rants and ideas do not necessarily reflect the views of The Sinner itself. The Sinner encourages contributions from its readers but retains the right to edit material due to content or length of submission.

FOR ADVERTISING OR SUBMISSION INFORMATION, CONTACT US AT CHUCK@THESEATTLESINNER.COM. SUBMISSION DEADLINE IS THE 25TH OF EVERY MONTH.

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ESSAY | Palpitating The Awful Offal by Henry Nicolle

G

rubbing around in the guts of complicated things, seeking omens that may define our future, is a lot like panning for fine gold. You’re on your knees a lot and you get your hands dirty. It’s not a successful business for inexperienced amateurs and the professionals know that it’s a waste of time for the small results. The pros aren’t interested because there’s no easy payday. That’s why they pay for politics and invest in professional politicians. The awful offal of my rambling is both the result and residue of professional politicking. I have my hands full of America’s over-heated political and social guts and the lumps of cancer and crap they contain slither and squirm about at my touch. (If you are the common American, my allusion has no meaning for you will never consider fixing your bacon bits, hot wings or prime rib from their walking, breathing and rummaging origins. I can assure you that your imagination alone, without any tactile and aromatic experience, is insufficient for my meaning.) Power rises from people, armies and money. The more one has access to these and the more of these one has, the more powerful one can be. The joker in the deck is as Henry Kissinger once prattled, “...the appearance is more important than the reality.” If we believe that we have power, we act with vigor. If we believe we have little personal influence, we may posture, but in the end we accept the truth, submit or die. What if the people whom we believe have great power (it is true that they do and they are ruthless in their exercise of power) are at this moment of time, in great trepidation to exercise power although their ambitions cannot be achieved unless great power is used and thereby great displacements of population must be imposed? We’re talking about social and economic, as well as physical displacement now. What if, the “Powers That Be” (powerful as they may be) understand that the house of political, economic and social cards they have constructed over centuries can no longer stand and will fall in their current “lifetime”? What could they do, presuming the power to do as they pleased was within their grasp, to create a transition from collapse to new era of growth of their Invisible Empire? They are the Rulers, not the Governors. The Rulers create the policies, the Governors impose the policies. The People indirectly submit to the Rulers through their direct but intermediate submission to the Governors. The Rulers are but one or two handfuls. The Governors are myriad. The People in their multitudes are frangible for the ambitions of Rulers and Governors. The Rulers harvest the lives and fruit of the People through the exercise of power by the Governors. The leverage of power is extreme. Five or ten people can direct and reap the energies of a billion humans. All else that passes in the transfer of life and wealth from the People to the Rulers is the simple “cost of doing business”. In my hypothetical crisis, the Rulers’ cost of doing business is so extreme and the potential for broken leverage is so probable that they and the governors believe that the People must be provoked into demanding their own overt political and social slavery. Human society will exist as long as there are humans. Civilizations in some form will co-exist with society. Our humanity exists today in a social form which has exceeded in central organization all preceding civilizations of existing recorded history. History, as we can know it, predicts future human experience. History records that all civilizations, regardless of how powerful, eventually fall. Civilizations fall for reasons more small than large. Excesses of indifference, convenience, complaisance, greed, ambition and power lead the list, in generally the proper order of significance. The fall begins within the People and ends in the offices and institutions. Most of our global society is socialized and semi-civilized. We can disregard that portion of humanity. They are mostly more free than any first, second or third world “civilized” society can imagine. Power and Wealth are imagined and manipulated mostly in the urbanized societies. Our Rulers have succeeded in establishing of a centrally governed civilization for the purposes of social and economic activities. The political establishments and habits which exist under the social and economic controls are interesting, even dangerous at times, but they do not control Ruling policies. Now, the Rulers have a quandary. They control the power necessary to transition from an imminent collapse, but they fear that their transition will trigger sufficient collateral effects to destroy the entire existing centralized meme. Sacrifice is on the agenda. Heed the omens. Defend your Rights, NOW!

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May Day Mayhem and Media Spin On May 1st 2012 activists all around the globe gathered to celebrate May Day, a pagan holiday that has become a traditional date for insurrection and revolution. In 1886 the Haymarket Massacre in Chicago heralded a new era of uprisings by labor unions after a rally against police brutality turned violent. Workers at the McCormick farm machine factory were striking for an 8 hour day. A huge march was held on May Day to celebrate the labor uprising. Two days later a person was killed at labor protests outside the McCormick plant. On May 4th a demonstration and rally was called to protest police brutality. When police tried to disburse the crowd, a bomb was detonated. Police fired into the crowd and by the end of the melee eleven people were killed, including seven police officers. Later reports suggest that some of the cops were probably killed by bullets fired by their fellow officers. A controversial trial ensued and four “Anarchists” were hanged. Labor leaders and the famous attorney Clarence Darrow petitioned the governor to grant clemency to three of the prisoners. In 1893 Governor John Governor Altgeld granted them clemency. He claimed the trials had been unfair and were a miscarriage of justice. Altgeld was thereafter forever branded by conservatives as the “friend of Anarchists”. His statement on the pardons: “It is further shown here that much of the evidence given at the trial was a pure fabrication; that some of the prominent police officials, in their zeal, not only terrorized ignorant men by throwing them into prison and threatening them with torture if they refused to swear to anything desired but that they offered money and employment to those who would consent to do this. Further, that they deliberately planned to have fictitious conspiracies formed in order that they might get the glory of discovering them.” On May Day 2012 Occupy Seattle responded to a call out from Occupy Oakland and Occupy Wall Street for support for a “general strike”. A day long series of rallies, concerts and marches were staged, and although the general strike idea never really came to fruition, a small group of people practicing “Black Bloc” tactics managed to gain the attention of most of the world’s media by smashing windows in the downtown Seattle business district. Around noon an independent march against capitalism set off from Westlake Park and headed south on Fourth Avenue. Within an hour, windows were broken at the Jackson Federal Building, the old federal courthouse and at several downtown corporate businesses and banks. Cars were also vandalized in the area. The Federal Building was immediately evacuated and Mayor Mike McGinn declared a state of emergency. Police were given the extraordinary power to confiscate anything capable of being used as a weapon - sticks, flag poles, rocks, hammers, etc. Even local self-proclaimed super hero Phoenix Jones got into the May Day action. He managed to pepper spray a few of the Black Bloc marchers outside the old courthouse where protesters were busy creating new business for local glass makers by smashing out windows with the poles on their black and red banners. Meanwhile, Westlake Park remained a green zone where May Day participants listened to some of the most talented hip hop artists in Seattle performing live on stage. The atmosphere was joyous as folks danced, partook of the free food and greeted one another with the love that only comes from solidarity in a mutual movement for peace and justice. The Hip Hop Occupies group held down the home front with a great line up of speakers and entertainers,

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written by Mark Taylor-Canfield

The Anarchist riot in Chicago: a dynamite bomb exploding among the police. including former Black Panther member Aaron Dixon. Dixon stressed the idea of reaching out to the community. “I’m not talking about a violent revolution,” he said. “What we need is a peaceful social revolution that will transform society. We need to feed folks and offer benefits to the community. If we don’t show that we are a benefit to the community, why should they support us?” The rest of the day remained peaceful as protesters marched and rallied for workers and immigrant rights, but the incidents of property damage were reported by mainstream media as “Mayhem on May Day in Seattle”. If you listened to the local news reports, you would have thought that the anti-WTO riots had risen again. There was tear gas in the streets, small fires on the sidewalk, and black clad anarchists attacking Nike Town and shoving news cameramen to the ground. The corporate media had a field day reporting on the “Anarchists” and the damage to downtown businesses. A KOMO TV reporter asked “Will companies leave Seattle because it’s not safe to do business here?” I could only think to myself, “This is exactly what the Black Bloc probably wants to hear in the media.” In other words, the reporter may have been unwittingly supplying encouragement for their next outing… Within the Occupy Wall Street movement a debate has been sparked once again over Black Bloc tactics as a means of expressing opposition to corporate power. Mainstream liberals and progressives are very worried that these small fringe actions will alienate the 99% and leave the activists vulnerable to police and federal harassment. The radicals however, believe in the concept of “diversity of tactics”. While not advocating or endorsing any property destruction, they see it as the natural result of political and economic repression by the ruling class. Whatever the case may be, it is clear that even iconoclasts like Chris Hedges are struggling with the idea of riots and breaking windows. While I must admit that Hedge’s February column on the Black Bloc was not well researched, his personal emotional reaction to them does highlight many of the concerns of participants in the Occupy Wall Street move-

ment. While it must be pointed out that no one was seriously injured due to physical attacks from demonstrators, the fact remains that these kind of tactics turn off the majority of people who support the OWS movement in the US. Unlike their Greek and Italian counterparts, most American activists don’t believe that violence is an effective way to get their message across or to challenge the economic and political system. Instead, they have used occupations of public space, alternative media and political theater to push their agenda for an end to the corruption on Wall Street and in Washington, DC. So far, this Gandhian style non-violent approach has been effective in getting their message out to the world through the global media. I personally do not condone smashing windows as a way to get the attention of the people. Yes, the

media cameras love spectacle, especially if it involves violence and chaos. But if the news coverage turns out to be just another propaganda campaign for corporate interests so they can bash the movement and play into the fearful rhetoric of the right-wingers, then I question whether this tactic can be effective in the long run. Local and federal law enforcement authorities use these incidents of property destruction as justification for the further militarization of police departments. Having said that, I do understand the frustrations people have with corporations and their monopolistic control over the economy, the government and our daily lives. It is perhaps not surprising that occasionally a few folks decide to take matters into their own hands and lash out at inanimate objects like windows or machines. But the reality in 2012 is that no firearms were either used or even confiscated during the May Day events in Seattle. People were not interested in directing violence towards human beings. So, in comparison to the Haymarket riots in Chicago, things in Seattle were relatively safe and peaceful despite the media circus. The fact is, the vast majority of the US is largely apathetic or opposed to radical uprisings. They prefer occasional demonstrations and sit-ins. Mass revolution does not seem to be an imminent threat to the authorities in the United States of America. People are far too passive and apathetic to pay much attention to who’s stealing their future. Most folks only want to live for today, which is why the corporate masters have been getting away with so much debauchery, chicanery, corruption and deceit without any effective opposition. The bread and circuses of US media has everyone so busy talking about Dancing With The Stars that they don’t have any time to worry about global climate change or the rapid destruction of life in the planet’s oceans. What is needed is actually some kind of planetary or cosmic consciousness that would allow us all to see beyond the borders of our own neighborhoods, cities, countries and planet. Let’s be honest, most residents on earth have very little perspective on what’s happening to the international economy or the global ecosystem. Their knowledge ends when the corporate media picks up with the manufactured story. While ignorance reigns, change may be impossible. As activists spend their valuable time arguing over protest tactics, the planet will continue to suffer under tyranny, corporate greed and rampant militarism. The dying shrimp in the Gulf of Mexico don’t give a damn about whether anarchy or socialism is preferable, but they sure as hell are going to need our help if the planet is to survive! Meanwhile, the US government is still eavesdropping, building its prison/military/industrial complex and pursuing plans to use drones to assassinate US citizens in other countries. Folks are still shopping, using their credit cards and going into debt at alarming rates while homelessness increases to staggering proportions. Yet professional sports teams and Hollywood celebrities still reign supreme with no end in sight to their all powerful dominance of American culture. May Day 2012 was definitely not the revolution the radicals are hoping for… Global May Day Photos: www.theatlantic.com/infocus/2012/05/may-dayaround-the-world/100289/ MTC tweets as “mtsea” Facebook: www.facebook.com/marktaylo-canfield/ Animation Series: “Occupy London!” @ Youtube

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The Sex Police, Part Two of Two written by Saab Lofton Last time on Piper’s Pit ... Sadly, despite the obvious success of Scandinavia insofar as balancing social freedom with fiscal security, the number one reason why communism has yet to take hold in America is the fear that commies will censor, torture or murder their enemies. To further assuage that irrational neurosis, I’ve recently taken stances which are extremely unpopular with the ladies – at great risk to my already-beleaguered reputation: First, I defended hard core porn’s right to exist from some Stalinistic women who’re the spiritual daughters of Andrea Dworkin (1946 - 2005) during a debate in Seattle’s Pioneer Square, and while online, I defended the free speech of that fat bastard, Rush Limbaugh. ... and now, the conclusion ... On November 10th, 2001, the Las Vegas Police beat the fucking shit out of my black ass for saying the following, “don’t forget who’s the public and who’s the public SERVANT,” because they failed to move their horses out of my way as I was walking home from an assignment for the paper I won awards for, The Las Vegas CityLife. Believe it or not, I was charged with, get this: “Interference with a Police ANIMAL.” As Gordon Gekko told Bud Fox in the movie Wall Street (1987)... “That’s the thing you got to remember about WASPs [white Anglo-Saxon Protestants] – they love animals; they can’t stand people.” Anyway, I wasN’T even in jail a whole day, and afterwards, the ACLU made that fallacious misdemeanor go away, but the point is this: When I did get home, what was the first thing I heard? I swear, as soon as I walked in the door... Bad boys, bad boys Whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do when they come for you?

Ballard 2 Bit Saloon 4818 17th Ave NW Ballard Brothers Burger 5305 15th Ave NW Seattle, WA 98107 Queen Anne Piece of Mind 623 Queen Anne Ave N Mecca Cafe 526 Queen Anne Ave N Downtown Five Points Cafe 415 Cedar St Hurricane Cafe 2230 7th Ave Fantasy Unlimited 2027 Westlake Ave

Georgetown Stellar Pizza 5513 Airport Wy S Pioneer Square The Central 207 1st Ave S &M 201 1st Ave S Greenwood The Baranof 8549 Greenwood Ave N University District Piece of Mind 4339 University Wy NE College Inn Pub 4006 University Wy NE

Fremont Piece of Mind 315 N 36th St The Dubliner 3535 Fremont Ave Lake City Piece of Mind 12516 Lake City Way Hollywood Erotic 12706 Lake City Way Capitol Hill Linda’s 707 E Pine St Shoreline Darrell’s Tavern 18041 Aurora Ave N

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...that’s right, the theme song from COPS. Now, how do you think that made me feel? I just got my ass beat by those fucking bastards and then I’m serenaded by a tune meant to GLORIFY them? Well, it STILL sickens me over a decade later! However, at NO point did I ever so much as suggest censoring the COUNTLESS amount of TV series that glamorize the pigs (three spin offs of Law and Order, two spin offs of C.S.I., Southland, The Closer, N.C.I.S., Reno 911!, etc., etc., etc.). And WHY don’t I want to censor those pro-pig shows? I’ll let George Orwell (1903 – 1950) answer for me... “If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they do NOT want to hear.” IN CONTRAST, on February 29th, 2012, that fat fascist, Rush Limbaugh, called Georgetown University law student, Sandra Fluke, a “slut” – next thing you know, there’s a campaign to deprive Limbaugh of all his advertisers, and thus, get him off the air. Censorship can take MANY forms: The stereotype is it only stems from a government, but the FACT is, it’s also practiced by the church (ask Salman Rushdie), the corporate elite (ask Aaron Dixon – or yours truly, for that matter) AND the masses themselves... Remember, the lynch mobs were “grassroots” too. Thanks to this misguided campaign, I was put in the unenviable position of having to defend Rush Limbaugh’s freedom of expression from my fellow left-wingers. The situation was analogous to that animated movie, Under the Red Hood (2010), when Batman prevented an old friend from assassinating the Joker... Jason Todd: What? Your moral code just won’t allow for that? It’s too hard to cross that line? Batman: No. God Almighty, no. It’d be too damned easy. All I’ve ever wanted to do is kill [The Joker]. A day doesn’t go by I don’t think about subjecting him to every horrendous torture he’s dealt out to others, but if I do that; if I allow myself to go down into that place, I’ll never come back. Once again, the number one reason why communism has yet to take hold in America is the fear that commies will censor, torture or murder their enemies. Ladies, what Limbaugh said was utterly disgusting, but being beaten within an inch of your life – as I was by the pigs in Las Vegas – hurt a lot worse than being called a slut. A LOT WORSE. So to keep Stalinistic history from repeating itself, it must be universally acknowledged that free speech trumps comfort level. If I didn’t demand that Law and Order be censored – even though I’m a victim of police brutality – ladies should demonstrate similar restraint. As that old adage goes, men respond to what they see, but women respond to what they HEAR... And as much as women (particularly WHITE AMERICAN women) may desire a world where men are constantly tip-toeing around supposedly delicate sensibilities, that will NEVER happen ... Not without becoming the very “feminazis” Rush Limbaugh often speaks of. Let’s raise our own voices instead of silencing someone else’s. By heavily promoting Amy Goodman’s Democracy Now, we kill two birds with one stone: Since AMY Goodman is obviously female, feminism would be advanced – and since Democracy Now is the ideological opposite of Limbaugh’s vile bile, that dangerously low IQ of America’s would be elevated as well... The answer is to make Amy Goodman more famous and more popular than Rush Limbaugh; more speech, NOT less.


StoptheDrugWar.org Pelosi Condemns Medical Marijuana Crackdown by Phillip Smith

Gina Simon Photography - Model: Amanda

US House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-San Francisco) issued a statement Wednesday condemning the federal campaign against medical marijuana businesses operating in compliance with state law. The prominent Democrat’s statement is a clear shot across the bow for President Obama and his Justice Department, which is leading the charge against dispensaries and associated medical marijuana enterprises. Nancy Pelosi had Obama’s ear after he won the White House in 2008. Will he listen to her now? (Wikimedia.org) “I have strong concerns about the recent actions by the federal government that threaten the safe access of medicinal marijuana to alleviate the suffering of patients in California, and undermine a policy that has been in place under which the federal government did not pursue individuals whose actions complied with state laws providing for medicinal marijuana,” Pelosi said. The House Minority Leader said access to medical marijuana is “both a medical and a states’ rights issue” and that it has “proven medical uses,” including alleviating the suffering of AIDS patients. “I have long supported efforts in Congress to advocate federal policies that recognize the scientific evidence and clinical research demonstrating the medical benefits of medicinal marijuana, that respect the wishes of the states in providing relief to ill individuals, and that prevent the federal government from acting to harm the safe access of medicinal marijuana provided under state law,” Pelosi said. “I will continue to strongly support those efforts.” Pelosi’s statement came the same day that the Alameda County (Oakland) Democratic Party unanimously adopted a resolution “decrying the federal raids on dispensaries and calling for the US Department of Justice to refrain from future expenditure of public resources on any act that contradicts the will of the California voters regarding medical marijuana” and just days after the San Francisco Democratic Party passed a similar resolution. he Bay Area Democrats are responding to a coordinated crackdown on the medical marijuana industry by federal prosecutors in the state that began last fall and has led to the forced closing of dozens of California dispensaries and related businesses, including such well-respected institutions as the Marin Alliance for Medical Marijuana and the Berkeley Patients Group, as well as last month’s raid that crippled Oaksterdam University. The toll includes five dispensaries in San Francisco itself. Another four San Francisco dispensaries or their landlords have received similar threatening letters from US Attorney for Northern California Melinda Haag. The politicians are being prodded by San Francisco United for Safe Access, an ad hoc group of patients, patient advocates, dispensaries, and other stakeholders led by Americans for Safe Access (ASA). The coalition was formed to mobilize political opposition to the Obama administration’s crackdown. “We applaud Pelosi’s leadership in urging President Obama to address medical marijuana as a public health issue,” said ASA Executive Director Steph Sherer. “Rather than defending a policy of intolerance, President Obama should end his unnecessary and harmful attacks once and for all.” There have been more than 200 SWAT-style raids on dispensaries, growers, and associated businesses since Obama took office in January 2009. Most of them have taken place since the administration unleashed its offensive in March 2011 with a series of DEA raids in Montana that decimated that state’s until-then booming medical marijuana industry.

Attorney General Admits Obama Was Wrong About Medical Marijuana Laws by Scott Morgan

Obama’s recent claim that he can’t do anything about the illegality of medical marijuana has drawn plenty of criticism, but this ought to take the cake. Attorney General Eric Holder was a guest of The Huffington Post at the correspondents’ dinner. Before it began, a HuffPost reporter noted to Holder that Obama’s reference to “congressional law” was misleading because the executive branch could simply remove marijuana from its “schedule one” designation, thereby recognizing its medical use. “That’s right,” Holder said. [Huffington Post] Okay, can we please stop making excuses for the President? Legally, he does not have to wage war on medical marijuana. Politically, he doesn’t have to do this either. Yet the war rages on and the people responsible are still denying what they’re doing right before our eyes. To those who say we shouldn’t blame Obama for this outrage, I say of course we should. He has the biggest microphone in the nation and if he can’t use it to tell the truth and stand up for a human rights issue as basic as this one, then he needs to hear from us. To remain silent is to reward intransigence and invite injustice.

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Angry Black Girl W

ell it looks like they finally arrested George Zimmerman, Trayvon Martin’s killer. All is right with Black America, my people. Justice has been served – for ONE black boy. But what I want to know is what about the other black boys who die in this country every day? Where, Black America, White America, Everyone America, is our outrage? Who’s going to rally for them? Oh that’s right, those black boys are the victim, most of the time, of other black boys. So that’s okay, right Black America? No need to galvanize the troops for them. Because we know that a black boy that’s killed by a white man has more value than a black boy killed by a black man. And that shit makes me angry. So despite the fact that Trayvon Martin’s family may see justice served, I remain today an Angry Black Girl. Did you know that Trayvon’s murder was a rarity in America. Yep, check out the U.S. Department of Justice’s website and find out that from 1976 to 2005, 94% of black homicides were at the hands of black people. That means that only 6% where at the hands of other races. Yet those 6% are what gets the black community’s attention. Those 6% bring out Rev. Al and Brother Jesse. In Brother Jesse’s hometown of Chicago, of the 511 murders in 2008, 74% were black and 76% of the perpetrators were also black, according to the Chicago Tribune. Another source states that 1,745 black people have been murdered in that city since 2007. Did any of your hear a peep from Brother Jesse about that? Keep hope alive, hell. I may be angry but I’m still a dreamer. What if our so-called leaders (HA!) started marches for the 94%? What if we stopped worrying about what the white man is doing to our community and start addressing what we’re doing to our community ourselves? What if we started telling our young brothers who are doing the killings that this shit is not acceptable. No more acceptable than when a white man does the killings. What if we spent just a fraction of our time, our energy, our outrage on those hundreds of black boys that are dying in this country? But maybe that won’t get Rev. Al and Brother Jesse on the TV news. It’s just not sexy enough for them. So they target one case and leave the rest in the dust, literally. So I want you to know that yes I’m angry about what it means to be black and what it means to be a girl here in America. But I ain’t just angry at “the man.” I’m angry at white people, black people, women, men. Cause we’re all culpable. We’re all responsible for this fucking mess we’re in. And we all can do something about. Or not do something about it. We shall see.

http://bjs.ojp.usdoj.gov/content/homicide/race.cfm angryblackgirlstl@gmail.com

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The Saints of Damnation 5/4/12 @ Alki Tavern

Little Ben Productions Presents: May the 4th Be with You!! The Ultimate Rockin’ Star Wars party!!!! Many Vaders, Ewoks, Leias, Skywalkers and assorted Star Wars costume adorned people (and/or people who just have appreciation for Star Wars & fine music) packed into The Alki Tavern. Another great line up by Little Ben Productions, featuring Oriya, Doktor Klaw, and The Saints of Damnation!!! The Saints of Damnation are currently working on finishing their debut album. This is a metal band with lots of promise, playing some amazing shows in their first year. Saints features Robert, Keith, & Bloody from GodMachine & Jason from SAYN. Be sure to check them out on Reverbnation & Facebook, www.reverbnation.com/thesaintsofdamnation!!

TINA D PHOTOGRAPHY I had the pleasure of getting to listen in as local hardcore punk band, The Insurgence practiced the other night. The Insurgence, who have been non-stop busy touring and recording, are gearing up for their big show May 19th at Hell's Kitchen in Tacoma with the legendary Toxic Holocaust! For More info about The Insurgence check them out at www.facebook. com/insurgenceseattle, or stop by Hell's Kitchen (928 Pacific Ave., Tacoma, WA) May 19th at 6pm.


Novak’s Art Show Series 1

Don’t ask me why, but this was our first visit to Novak’s in Tower Grove. This is an amazing place with its rustic vibe, friendly staff and breathtaking patio. We came to check out the art of Molly Algernon, our featured artist this month, but found the jaw-dropping sounds of Bruiser Queen, a powerful two piece who matches The White Stripes beat for beat! And there was the sexy SinDee Hoo Hoo shaking it through out the night too. What a perfect way to start the night! Look for it again May 18th!

SCENE OF IRONY RETURNS! I wanted to take a minute out to welcome Moe and his gang of misfits, Scene Of Irony, back from their recent European tour. These cats really tear it up on stage. Catch them again on May 28th at Lemmon’s and June 1st at The Way Out...


The Misery Jackals

Interview by Chuck Foster

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he year was 1998. Bill Corgan, often referred to as Sweet Willy C., found himself contemplating the thought of blending two of his favorite genres of music, old school punk rock and bluegrass, over a bottle of Kentucky bourbon. A few years later he bought a banjo, but it sat untouched as did his dreams of creating a unique genre until 2006. It was then that his long time friend, and former band mate Pat Beck of The Nimrods, passed away unexpectedly. Having witnessed the Reaper’s work firsthand, Sweet Willy C. went home from the funeral and started to pick away at that dusty banjo. About a year later Sweet Willy C. was ready to get his punkgrass band going. He picked up Doghouse bass player Tim Burrows, and another Akron, Ohio punk rock alumni, Shane Fraley on washboard. Then former Nimrods band mate Jeff Selzer returned from California to join the band on bass. A year later, on January 2, 2008, The Misery Jackals were formed, creating what Sweet Willy C. calls, “Pillbilly Browngrass”. Making the band complete though was accordion player Stephanie Serna, also known as “Pirate Jenny”. The sound this foursome has created is as, well, unique as its new genre, Pillbilly Browngrass. Influenced by the world, crime, jail, stupid people, kung fu movies, cartoons, pirates, drugs, crazy drunk people with guns, corrupt government, sex, war, roller derby, bad drivers, liquor and whores, it’s given these cats are in a genre of their own. After listening to a little Pillbilly Browngrass on Reverbnation, which they sit ranked 4th, I decided to throw Sweet Willy C. a few questions about the band and their tour that lands them in Seattle on May 16th at The Funhouse I have one question to start with, what the fuck is “Pillbilly Browngrass”? Well, it ain’t bluegrass! We don’t know what genre we are. So, born out of some sick genre confusion, we took the idea of hillbilly music and bluegrass, added drugs, depravity and desperation, and we have “Pillbilly Browngrass.” Since then, we have had fun coming up with

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other genre titles. “Dirty Bluegrass” and “Bluethrash” are others. Maybe punk infused roots music describes it best? When we set out to do it, we wanted to use acoustic instruments, and rock out. I think that’s what we do. Misery Jackals. Just where in the hell did you come up with that name for the band? A Chicago cop called me a Misery Jackal one day. Thought it would be a good name for a band, so I kept it in mind. When the band formed, everyone liked it. There is an element of misery in all of our songs, in one form or another, it is therefore our sustenance. A Misery Jackal. What about this tour to Seattle on the 16th, any interesting tales of whiskey, fights, arrests, whores? Haha! Yes! All those things are pretty regular attractions when on the road. Most of these stories are confidential for security purposes. I got a kick out of “Keep It In Yer Pants” on Reverbnation. You mention that your songs are based on true stories. Are these lyrics a true story? Yes, it is partially based on personal experience and somewhat inspired by the pimp Iceberg Slim, and his experiences. Keep it in Yer Pants was the first complete song that we wrote for the Misery Jackals. I read on Facebook that you guys are releasing a new CD, “No Place for Children”. Give me the inside scoop on the release. Pre-sales are available now through our website. It will release on May 11th, so, we will have it when we come to Seattle. It is 14 tracks, the last track is a reprise and there is one cover song. It is a song that we used as a string break song, because I can sing it and play banjo, while Beener puts on a new guitar string. Anyway, since the crowd loved it so much, we recorded it and put it on the album. It’s called Liquor & whores. A real crowd pleaser and brilliant song writing. Apart from that, we are very happy with how the album came out. It is nice to present your music just the way you want it to be. Oh yeah, topics of discussion include drug abuse, oral sex, death of loved ones, oppressive governmental action, the end times, pirates, friends, sex with dead people, bigfoot, mud flaps, murder, the dogcatcher and a tale of one of the most desperate men who ever lived, all true.

Any last words for our readers? Hey everybody! Let’s have a HOEDOWN!!! And thank you for your support, it means everything.

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Returns To The Wayout For Urban Cabaret

This show was one for the books, the return of SINFINIS to the stage at The Way Out Club. Mary’s been gone for about a year now with the birth of her new child, but it seemed like she never left as she performed song after song for the full house. Catch SINFINIS again at the St. Louis Pagan Picnic at noon on Saturday, June 9, and a gig at The Heavy Anchor with Syna So Pro, Cave of Swords, and Ou Où on Friday, June 29.

Regae Wednesday at Colorado Bob’s On most Wednesday nights you can catch regae at Colorado Bob’s, which can be quite groovy even for punk rockers like myself. And Mario Pascal from East STL is one to see when you’re craving some island beats. No upcoming dates listed as of today, but be sure to check him out if you see his name posted on a flier!

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HAPPY SPRING TO ALL! Also, Happy May to all and Happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers. The city of Seattle celebrated with a May Day parade through downtown Seattle by various protest groups which quickly disintegrated into an orgy of mayhem, vandalism, and window smashing by black-clad, Nike-wearing, masked anarchists (read: homeless youth) who ruined the event, as usual. Smashing windows, as you may or may not know, is a great way to educate America on the evils of capitalism. The anarchists later celebrated their “victory over the Man” by going to McDonalds where they collectively split a Happy Meal. Odd as it may seem, the Seattle police were unable to stop the mayhem, and only Phoenix Jones and his super-hero sidekicks Midnightjack and El Caballero bravely stood up to the evil doers and saved the Federal building from further destruction, gaining national media attention for themselves in the process. I predict an appearance on Good Morning America and The Tonight Show with Jay Leno is in the near future for Phoenix Jones and his costumed crew... stay tuned! The appearance of these “black bloc anarchists” around the world has given rise to numerous conspiracy theories on who the perpetrators really are. A confidential source informs me that they are really police officers in disguise working to discredit the Occupy Wall Street movement. Another source informs me they are rejects from the Ninja Turtles Academy for Wayward Youth, while a third source claims they are a collection of misguided baristas, bicycle messengers and Somalian pirates doing the dirty work for an international Cabal run by Jewish bankers, Chinese gangsters, and former rock stars who have been ripped off by the recording industry. I believe the truth lies elsewhere, but I do love a good conspiracy theory. Yes, I do! On a sad note, Seattle’s ultimate punk rock dive bar, the Funhouse, has officially announced they have been evicted from their current premises to make way for a brand new, Peter Kropotkin: original Communist Anarchist and inventor of the ZZ Top beard. state-of-the-art condominium (which is exactly what Seattle needs more of...NOT!) and will close their doors for good in October of 2012. I am sure the Funhouse will land on its feet and find a sweet new spot (hopefully not in Georgetown) to reopen in, although I will miss that gorgeous view of the Space Needle while sipping an ice cold PBR brewski. On a positive closing note, here’s more super-hero news: Seattle’s own Miss Cleo Petra (hero of burlesque girls everywhere) has published her latest issue of Pin-up Quarterly, Seattle’s Girly Magazine. If you haven’t seen these mags, they are quarterly, full-color, glossy magazines featuring Seattle’s hottest pin-up girls as photographed by world-renowned RJB Photography. The launch party for the latest issue takes place Saturday night, May 12, at Bogart’s. I had the honor of writing the guest column for this issue, so check it out, and I will see you at the release party! That’s it for now... more exciting news, tasty tidbits, and my Bartender of the Year next month! Paul Diamond Blow works as a part time hustler when he’s not writing for the Sinner. His new book “Tales From Outer Space” is available at paulblow.tripod. com. Buy it, you cheap bastards!

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SATURDAY MAY 12th Local Chaos, Seattle Sinner, Splatterhouse Records & Kgrg 89.9fm’s Zorch Radio Present: 8th Annual Seattle Psychobilly Brawl Sawyer Family; James Hunnicutt; Los Gatos Locos; Sawyer Family; Repo Men; James Hunnicutt; Hard Money Saints; Hot Roddin’ Romeos; The Load Levelers; Angie & The Carwrecks; The Mean Street Meanie; Bloody T-Shirt Contest By The Slaughterhouse Slashers! + Psycho Burlesque And Gogo Acts @ The Funhouse 206 5th Ave N in Seattle 21+, Doors @ 5:30Pm/ Show @ 6pm, $10 Advance Through brownpapertickets.com Or $12 At The Door SUNDAY MAY 13th Sawyer Family; Antique Scream; Hopeless Jack and the Handsome Devil (OR) @ Tony V’s Garage 1712 Hewitt Ave In Everett 21+, 9pm, $5 WEDNESDAY MAY 16th The Misery Jackals (Ohio Bluegrass/ Folk Punk); Rats In The Grass; Ando Ehlers & GG Chaos Death Polka!; Paul Diamond Blow + Guests @ The Funhouse 206 5th Ave N 21+, 9pm, $5, $1 Beer Night!!! SUNDAY JUNE 24th Dirty Filthy Mugs (LA); The Aimlows; + Guests @ Tony V’s Garage 1712 Hewitt Ave In Everett 21+, 9pm, $5

MONDAY JUNE 25th GG Chaos’s Birthday Bash Dirty Filthy Mugs (LA); The Last Slice (Tulsa, OK); The A-Oks (Denver, CO) + Guests @ The Funhouse 206 5th Ave N 21+, 9:30pm, $5, $1 Beers All Night! TUESDAY JUNE 26th Psychosomatic (Sacramento Thrash Punk) + Guests @ 2Bit Saloon 4818 17th Avenue NW (Ballard) 21+, 9pm, $5 WEDNESDAY JUNE 27th The Chop Tops (Santa Cruz, CA); Danny B Harvey (Legendary Rockats Guitarist - Austin, TX); The Strikers (San Diego, CA); Radio Threat (Ventura, CA); The Shivering Denizens Plus Judgement Day Playing The Lounge Directly Following The Chop Tops Set! @ El Corazon 109 Eastlake Ave in Seattle ALL AGES/ Bar with ID, 7pm $10 advance or $12 at the door SATURDAY JULY 21st Shell Corporation (From LA w/ Members Of The Fixtures, Veteran Flashbax and A Whilhelm Scream); The Mighty Fine (CA); Dukich; The Loss + Guest @ 2Bit Saloon 4818 17th Avenue Nw (Ballard) 21+, 9pm, $7

Stayed tuned for a lot more tasty shows to be announced soon including SEATTLE SKA FEST, CHAOSPALOOZA and SEATTLE PSYCHOBILLY BRAWL! Thanks for the support. Hope to see you at a show soon. www.facebook.com/local.chaos.greg www.twitter.com/localchaosshows • www.localchaosproductions.com

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On The Scene& Heard With Malice

$7

$7

@ The Crack Fox

Photos by Rabid Rabbit

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nce again, The Crack Fox is THE place to be when Skuzzy hosts a party: costumed denizens prancing about, scantily clad dancers spinning up and down a pole, and fire entertainers on hand, which are a usual part of the festivities – and a lot of our friends showed up, too! Looking at the stage before the show, we’re wondering what’s in store for us later on in the evening. I’m in love already, I see an upright bass! But I’m not sure what the burlap bag and the baseball bat leaning up against the drum kit is all about. Then I make a trip to the Ladies and see a Living Deads flyer on the wall claiming they kidnapped my favorite guitar player...ok, Let’s Do This! The Living Deads (Randee McKnight, drummer and his wife Symphony Tidwell, upright bass), out of Denver CO, are traveling the nation in their RV – a total DIY operation, printing their own shirts, even booking their own shows. They are known for kidnapping your favorite guitarist (a band’s gotta do what a band’s gotta do when their lead guy bails on them right before a tour), anything to keep their show on the road. Among those shang-hied have been the likes of Danny B Harvey of The Head Cat, Chuck Hughes of The Hillbilly Hellcats, and James Honeycutt of The Revolvers. hmmmm, wonder if they’ll ever nab our very own Craig Daddy? Now THAT would be something to see, fo sho! It seems they’ve picked up a regular guitarist, Nasty Nate Harris sporting a greasy pompadour, a swagger in his step and a mocking sneer – everything you could ask for in a front man for a rockabilly/punk/creepshow kinda band. In keeping with the dress code/ theme of the night (Monster Island Maidens) Symphony had on this wicked fishnet outfit with shiny purple star pasties and matching black panties with a purple ribbon – and man-oh-man can she slap the fool out of that bass. I have a new favorite bass player! Life is good. All the while her hubby is gleefully banging King Hell out of those drums and his forehead curl is flying, as he can’t keep his eyes off of her. It’s so cute. Their sound is Classic rockabilly, with a surf/ punk twist. “Switchblade Pompadour” is a great tune where Nasty Nate wails and screams like nobody’s business. They played The Ramones’ “Rockaway Beach”, “Beat On The Brat” and “I Wanna Be Sedated”. They also played Johnny Cash’s “Folsom Prison”, some Stray Cats, and a few other songs I’ve heard The Trip Daddys play like “Fishnet Stockings”. Go check ‘em out on facebook, listen to their tunes and watch their vidz on Reverbnation, so you’ll be ready to shag your asses to their next show. I do believe they’re coming back to Crack Fox June 8th! ****************************************************************** UPCOMING SHOWS YOU DON’T WANT TO MISS: WARNER DRIVE MAY 12 @ FUBAR HOT ROD WALT & THE PSYCHODEVILLES JUNE 21 @ CRACK FOX See you all On The Scene somewhere! Malice

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The Piss Drunks

Raising Hell With Guitar Doug “We might have been out of our minds at the time, but that fateful night the Piss Drunks were truly born.”

The Piss Drunks are Buzzy Piss Drunk (Vocals), Joey Piss Drunk (Guitar), Travis Kerr (Guitar), Greg Goyan (Bass), and Josh Stallsworth (Drums). The group is one of the more entertaining punk groups on the scene and were formed in Seattle in 1991. Joey Piss Drunk was a Bartender/ Manager/Co-owner of the Store Room Tavern on The Eastlake Strip circa 1991, where he formed the group while he was running some open mics. Jam sessions under the moniker Road kill, with Brian “Grumpy” Bishop on drums, became what later formed the band The Piss Drunks. When Buzzy moved from Boston he was a regular at the Store Room and eventually auditioned for the position of lead vocalist, and the core of the group was formed. Over the years, the group has gone through many personnel changes, especially drummers. The band has just added Josh Stallsworth on drums and readers can check out the new line up at Tony V’s, June 23rd. They are also in the studio working on an album which should be out later in the year. Lets take a look at what the Piss Drunks have to tell us about the band in the interview below.

shows that you’ve done. Can you remember any of them? Joey: Yeah, yeah. There was some festival in Bremerton in the early 90s at some dude’s house. We were playing outdoors and it started to rain during our set. Suddenly people were throwing beers at us and hackling us. Come to find out, they were trying to put out the fire that had started on stage from the PA gear. (laughs) Buzzy: Well, I’ve been known to stage dive.. On one of our tours, though, during the last leg of the tour, I stage dove into the crowd. But my mic cable got wrapped around the tuning pegs of Howard’s guitar, and he ended up getting pulled into the pit as well. Unfortunately, this crushed both his hands, and he was never able to play guitar again after that. You guys have gone through a lot of band members. What can you say about that? Buzzy: Well, everyone who’s ever been in the Piss Drunks have brought something valuable to the band, and we’re grateful for them all. Some of them have moved onto other bands, some of them have died, and some have just simply disappeared. It’s a sad string of random circumstances, but we’ve managed to keep this going for 20 years. Through it all, we’re happy to say that we have the best lineup to date now, and looking forward to another 20 years.

So how did you two get the Piss Drunks started? Joey: It all started back in 1991. Buzzy was a regular at my bar, The Store Room, and one night he came in drunk out of his mind. He started running all over the bar, knocking over drinks, diving onto the pool table, and just destroying everything in the bar. I managed to keep the bartender from killing him, and took him outside. Because of his spectacle, I asked if he could sing and suggested he audition for the Piss Drunks. Buzzy nearly killed himself skateboarding to the audition, and then just started destroying the practice space and some equipment. We might have been out of our minds at the time, but that fateful night the Piss Drunks were truly born. Buzzy: Yeah, I had just gotten kicked out of Zeke, where I was the drummer. I was tired of loading gear around on my skateboard, so vocals seemed like a good idea. Buzzy, you’re originally from Boston, right? Can you pinpoint the moment when you knew you were destined for punk rock? Buzzy: The first concert I went to was Kiss in 1977. But it was the Misfits and DOA in 1981 that changed my life forever. After that I was skateboarding to shows every weekend and never looked back. The mother of my daughter

What do you guys currently have going on? Joey: We’re working on our next album, that’s due to be released this summer. I think it’s the best we’ve done so far, and we’re really excited for it. Buzzy: Yeah, it’s going to be great! We’re also playing our second wedding this fall, which is going to be fanastic. We have plenty of “love songs” for the occasion!

asked me in the first year of the Piss Drunks if I was ever going to grow up and give it all up. I’m proud to say that I still haven’t. What do you think of the punk scene in Seattle today? Buzzy: Like any other scene, there’s drive and and motivation with a lot of punks and fans to support it. Some venues make it difficult, but we’re still getting gigs. So I guess it’s not that bad.

When’s your next show? Buzzy: Our drummer turns 31 in June, and we’re playing for his birthday party at Tony V’s in Everett on June 23rd with The Badlands, Omega Moo, and Blue Ribbon Boys. It’s going to be a great show! The Piss Drunks are: Buzzy Piss Drunk on vocals, Joey Piss Drunk on lead guitar, Travis Kerr on guitar, Greg Goyan on bass, and Josh Stallsworth on drums. For more up to date information, check out facebook.com/pissdrunks. seattle.

I can imagine that there’s been some outrageous

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PUNK ROCK AND SUPERHEROES! Seattle band Quickie takes a stand against domestic abuse

Seattle pop-punk band Quickie, who most recently penned a song celebrating Emerald City superhero Phoenix Jones, is taking a stand against domestic violence by teaming up with Phoenix and his wife Purple Reign. Quickie is a 3-piece pop-punk band from Seattle, Washington. Quickie’s songs have been featured in the shows “The Secret Circle” &”Vampire Diaries” on CW ,”Parenthood” on NBC and in the movie “Our Lips are Sealed” featuring the Olsen Twins. Quickie played a world record 44 Shows in 1 Day. You might have also heard Quickie’s work on ESPN and Fox Sports. The Healing Reign Music Benefit and Auction will take place May 12th at Nectar in Fremont. Ghost Town Riot joins Quickie on the bill, but it’s the message that takes center stage. “Purple Reign was a victim of domestic abuse, so this is a cause that’s very personal for her,” explains Quickie’s Lou Trez. “Our hope is to spread awareness and raise money for NW Family Life while putting on an unforgettable show. I mean, punk rock and costumed superheroes? How do you not go see that?” In addition, for the next year Quickie is donating a percentage of the net proceeds of the “Phoenix Jones” song download to the Purple Reign Campaign, whose slogan is “everyday heroes against domestic abuse.” “We are excited to help out Purple Reign and give back to the community,” says Trez. After Quickie penned an anthem about the Emerald City crime-fighter, they commissioned talented local cartoonist Travis Bundy to illustrate a “motion-comic” featuring band-members Lou Trez (bass/vocals), Joe Wolf (guitar), and Kelly Lichtenwaldt (drums) hitting the streets with Jones. The result is a fun, stylized, tongue-in-cheek escapade that brings back childhood memories of Saturday mornings in front of the TV watching the Superfriends. “We wanted to have fun with it,” says Trez. “It’s more Adam West than Dark Knight. But it is a sincere tribute to both Phoenix Jones and the comic-book medium.” In fact, the band is making available a panel-for-panel, digital comic-book version of the video for a limited time. What does Phoenix Jones think of all this? The project has his official seal of approval. He and his wife, Purple Reign, even appear in a live action segment of the video. Perhaps in a tip of the hat to the Easter-egg tradition of Marvel movies, the bit is tucked away at the “end” of the video. The Awesome Adventures of Phoenix Jones is available now as a digital “comic/song” download at Itunes, too. You can watch the video at www.youtube.com/watch?v=YF9mnwN_P98 or www.Youtube.com/Quickietheband. What will Quickie think of next?


Interview by Chuck Foster

As soon as I hear amps blasting all hell breaks loose for me inside. At the shows or at rehearsel it makes no diffrence. debut CD and hope to have it done by July. What about musical influences, who do you credit with the band’s rock-n-roll grit? Rich: Guns And Roses, Soul Asylum, Nine Inch Nails, Sponge. Joey: as a guitarist I’m influenced by Chuck Berry, Joe Perry of Aerosmith, Steve Jones of the Sex Pistols, Dave Mustaine and Chris Poland of Megadeth, throw them all into a blender with some pizza and Jack Daniels, and that’s my playing style in a nutshell.

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here’s a simplistic luxury to living in a city with a vibrant local music scene that too often escapes the masses of residents. The standard presumption seems to be that if any local band was truly entertaining it would be on the corporate radio stations, MTV, and be booked on tours that land them in the monumental domes and stadiums around the globe for a $50-plus a ticket. That’s simply bullshit. And St. Louis’ Leftovers is a band that defies all those misconceived illusions that most Americans have about Rock-N-Roll. Leftovers are relatively a new band to hit the St. Louis Music scene, but each member has roots buried deep in the local music scene. Perhaps it’s each members’ rich talent that bleeds through their songs which makes them such a hard-hitting force, but as an avid fan of local acts I have to credit their growing popularity with their dominant stage performance. This four-piece is volatile live, tearing up each inch of the stage without missing a beat or falling to the crowd from tripping over cords. It’s a supernatural experience, as if the group is possessed by the Rock Gods themselves as they pounce and spin and leap back and forth. There are few words that give this new act the credit they deserve, other than they’re like wild animals on stage, nothing less. And that’s why I asked Rich White and Joey Saturn to sit down with me for a few minutes and discuss the band’s up-andcoming popularity. How did The Leftovers come around? Rich: After The Saw Is Family broke up I was gonna stop playing music for a while, but my friend Joey Saturn told me to cheer up and get my ass back out there! So one cold November morning I went to Joey’s place and we talked about the style of music we wanted to do. I wanted something completely different from The Saw, I even threw in the possibility of a country band! But

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after writing a few riffs with him I knew country was out! We needed players to fill the need for bass and drums and I only had one person in mind for bass and that was Jen Pruitt. As it turns out she has become the rock of this band, she helps so much in arranging the songs none of this would be possible without her! I know some of you have been in other bands or are in other bands too. Give me the rundown on who’s who and who they’ve played with or are playing with on the side Rich: I was in The saw Is Family for 12 years. Joey has played with Conquest and several other bands along with his own metal band Lovely Destruction. Jen was in Storyland along with bands in California and Atlanta. Tony has a cover band he still plays with called Mojo Joey: I’ve played with just about everyone in St. Louis it seems, Thy Damage Done, Helacon, Conquest, SVK, Electric Triceretops. I’ve played with The Saw numerous times and of course my band Lovely Destruction which I currently still play guitar and vocals with as well as my duties in Leftovers. I like to ask this question each month: What’s the story behind the name? Rich: The name is just that, WE ARE LEFTOVERS from other bands. Joey: well, the first song we worked on together as a band was entitled Leftovers. We’re all ‘leftovers’ from other bands, it just made sense, you know. What about recording? Are you guys in studio planning a new CD release? Rich: We are in the middle of recording our

You guys put on an electric stage show... do you rehearse it or does it just come naturally when you hit the stage? Rich: As soon as I hear amps blasting all hell breaks loose for me inside. At the shows or at rehearsal it makes no difference Joey: Well, the answer to the that is I guess a little of both, while nothing is choreographed or planned out, we’re just as energetic and unpredictable at practice as we are on stage. There’s no difference really for us. When we all get into a room together and play things just get chaotic, each of us is like one of the elements that make dynamite, pretty calm on their own but when you put ‘em together, it explodes.

How would you describe a typical “Leftovers” show in one sentence? Joey: Leftovers in one sentence...how bout one word: unpredictable! Which local bands do you each like to follow/ catch live? Rich: I love The Unmutuals and Scene Of Irony. Joey: I love The Quaaludes, Thorhammer, Black Fast. As far as Metal in St. Louis, Black Fast is the be all end all. Megalith, Loug of course and whatever band Al Swacker is playing with, which is too many. As Rock-N-Roll musicians, I assume each of you are sinners. So, which are each of you most guilty of? Rich: I stole a car once. Joey: Jen is guilty of being too awesome for this band, but she wont admit it. What can readers expect from you guys in 2012... touring, shows, CDs, arrests for disorderly conduct? Rich:: A lot of shows and our debut CD. And to get Joey naked on stage! How can readers find out more about Leftovers, or purchase merch? Joey: We try to keep everything up to date on our Facebook page (www.Facebook.com/LeftoversMusic { Leftovers STL} ) as far as merch, you want shit, come see us LIVE! Any last thoughts to share with our readers, or breaking Leftovers’ news? Joey: Rich, what say you on the subject, mein fruend? Rich: Breaking news.........Tony gotta girlfriend!!!


On the Ground

Date of Event: 4/26/12 Venue: Darrell's Tavern After their break out surprise performance at Chaospalooza 10, On the Ground are taking over the scene with their own brand of hardcore punk. On the Ground rocked Darrell's Tavern in Shoreline in a showcase with 2 out of the 3 other bands that share their practice space, Ando Ehlers & GG Chaos' Death Polka and Can't Complain.

TINA D PHOTOGRAPHY

Joe’s Underground A Sinner Suggestion

Date of event: 4/20/12 Venue: Joe's Underground @ Bernard's Event: Cleo Petra & Razzle Dazzle Rose's Birthday Party Joe Motor has been hosting small acoustic/electric shows at Bernard's on Senaca below Hotel Seattle. April has been an eventful month with earlier in the month Gradie of Triple Sixes & Go Like Hell and Seattle Sinner Columnist Paul Diamond Blow both performing solo sets.... But none was more eventful than the 4/20 show held in honor of bartender, Cleo Petra & Burlesque performer Razzle Dazzle Rose's Birthdays. The Night Started out with a video viewing of Burning Hearts Burlesque's Final Show in which Cleo was the stage manager of for about 10 years. And then began a night of amazing live music & burlesque. With Music by such acts as Evan Hulse, Joe Motor, Cream City Cowpoke, Jay Johnson, and the lovely and sultry voice of singer Rebecca Terry who was accompanied by her guitar player Rev (ex-Atomic Outlaws & ex-Prophets of Addiction). To catch acts such as these and more be sure to drop by Bernard's on Friday nights.

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svk

f you’re one to frequent the local punk scene, there are always people who loosely name names while they slam PBRs in the dark corners of gritty local bars which reflect the history of St. Louis’ rich alternative music scene. It’s a given you’ll hear strangers toss around stories of Al Swacker, Loug, Bass Amp, Joey Saturn, Bob & Sherri, etc. Another name you’ll also eavesdrop upon is Rock-N-Roll MaSheena, AKA: Sheena Von Killer; AKA: SVK. SVK is the latest punk venture from a collaboration of local St. Louis musicians, headed by front woman Rock-N-Roll MaSheena. On most occasions she’s backed up by local rock heroes Al Swacker, Joey Saturn, and Chris Powder. There’s no telling who might fill in on other occasions, but that’s the nature of a true punk band. Punk’s known for its anarchy, its raw fuckin’ crudeness – and that’s SVK in an incested womb. I recently sat down with Rockin” Roll Machina to ask her about SVK, where the hell this side project came from and what it’s all about. And it went something like this.... Just how many bands have you been in? Let’s see, I’ve been in about 6 or 7 bands spanning from bluegrass to hardcore. The first band I was in was Mississippi Hippy Killers (MHK). We had a good run, lol! Your band members also have a rich musical history, please give them some credit while we sip on Wild Turkey without them... If you see SVK live it’s Al Swacker, who’s been in tons of bands from Chicken,UnMutuals, Devil Baby Freakshow Drunkibilly, Chris Powder who I also play with in Loug/Rock Kickass, he’s also in Lovely Destruction, Joey Saturn The Leftovers and Lovely Destruction. I’m sure I’m forgetting tons of other bitchin’ bands. The Cd has lots of kids that were kind enough to come in the studio. Of course Lougy, Steve, Dave, Hess, Bass Amp, Richy, Chris... I only now your band as SVK. What the hell is SVK stand for and how did it become the name of your new project? Sheena Von Killer is The name I used in Mississippi Hippy Killers... Lougy (The Saw/ Loug) gave me the idea to abbreviate it. Let me say thanks for the copy of your new disc. There’s some insane songs on it, like “Punch Her In The Pussy Kick Her In The Vag” and “Don’t Rape People”. Where did these songs come from? Well Punch Her in the Pussy Kick Her in the Vag is a Saw Is Family song. It was Recorded when kids were in town Ben Wah L.A. and Jr. Saw Seattle, Lougy on guitar. He told me to write a mean girl song that was the final product. I like to write vagina songs lol! Don’t Rape People is one of those PSA I think sometimes people need to be reminded that it’s not very nice. Most of my songs are based on weird shit that seems to happen to me. Tell me this, how would you describe SVK in one sentence? Pretty Fucking Cool. What can the STL music scene expect from SVK in 2012? New music, more shows. I want to release a vinyl at some point. Where can readers find out more about SVK? SVK is on that face place (facebook.com/sheenavonkillermusic) and reverbnation SVK. Download away! Any last thoughts for our readers? Go out to see more live music. It’s good for the soul!


3 Fuckin’ Years of Indy Publishing in STL

Bass Amp & Danno

I came out of my first black out after Lisa Mandina pushed me out the side fire exit at Lemmon’s, the second was being thrown down by Charlie Mandina after stumbling in to the Mosh pit, and the third was at the end of the night when I finally recognized Ami Amore’s Red Tale Boa around her neck. I had been there all night but could only account for a few hours here and there. That’s not my typical outing at one of our anniversary parties, but after three years of behaving, even I deserve to cut loose and celebrate every once in a while. I can’t appreciate enough the professional behavior from all the bands, Ami Amore, Lemmon’s staff, and our host, Rock-N-Roll MaSheena. With out them this night would have been a disaster. And I can’t forget all of our great sponsors, like Steel & Ink, DB’s The Shanti, Sonny’s Friendly’s Mandina’s, The Silver Ballroom, The Jefferson Bistro, No Coast, and Shameless Grounds. Mostly though, I want to thank all you sinners out there who showed up to celebrate our third year in indy publishing. With out you folks picking up The Sinner every month we wouldn’t be able to sell ads and continue to do what we do. And we’ll see you next year for four fuckin’ years of sinful debauchery! Unless my liver fails me or some crazy bastards get me drunk and knock me through a door again, breaking my neck! Quaaludes

Ami Amore’ and Michelle

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Our host Rock N’ Roll MaSheena Gina Simon Photography

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Bad Mother Healers: Elixir for your Ears by Emily Eufinger

St. Louis is a city rife with sin. It prowls the streets; shines from dark eyes gleaming through shadows; stalks the innocent, devouring money, flesh, and food. Sin takes, covets, and consumes, until there’s nothing and no one left to give. It’s easy to find someone who wants to take you and break you down; the hard part is finding someone to heal those wounds.

That’s where the Bad Mother Healers come in, gritty and ferocious. “We’re trying to heal the music; it’s gotten so torn up lately. Music has gotten bloody,” states drummer Raymond Jones. All the pentagrams and goat sacrifices in the world won’t matter if the music’s just no good. These guys are not easy to pin down; between shows, a record deal, a music video, an upcoming tour, and practice every night in between, healing the scene keeps them hustling. BMH consists of Billy Skelton (vocals/guitar), Raymond Jones (drums), Daniel Borcherding (bass), Zach Pemberton (vocals/harmonica), Sam Koltun (guitar), Bob Guion (guitar), and Michael Chumley (hand percussion/vocals). The band began when Billy called Ray drunk and angry at 6:30 in the morning and said, “Hey man let’s start a rock n’ roll band.” So they gathered musicians from all over St. Louis of

varied backgrounds in order to play rock “in its natural form, the way it was meant to be,” as Ray puts it. The Healers’ assorted experiences encompass the entire musical spectrum: Billy has gone from metal to blues rock bands and considers BMH to hold the balance between the two; Ray has roots in rock, country, blues, and 50s-60s music; Dan came from a reggae band but he adores funk, and has an Associates Degree in Jazz Guitar; Zach grew up singing in gospel choirs and has played with blues bands all over town; Chumley has history with cowpunk and industrial—he even toured with the Dead; and they grabbed 17-year-old Sam while he was playing open mic nights with hard rock and metal cover bands. The name came about while the guys were under pressure to come up with something to put on the flyers for their New Years Eve show at the Crack Fox. Billy’s dog is a Blue Heeler; Ray wanted to be the Fast Mothers, but the name already belongs to another band; and as Billy says, “Bad’s just how it is.” Put it all together and you’ve got the Bad Mother Healers. Ray says they were getting tired of hearing the same old grind of rock: “People try to outplay themselves—make it more complicated than it has to be—not letting it be natural.” Music by nature is a savage animal—rough and primitive. This powerhouse band doesn’t try to

tame the beast; they let it remain wild to put on one hell of a show, and having three singers gives them a huge vocal front for their roaring hard rock blues. With teeth bared and jaws snapping, Bad Mother Healers are tearing through the music scene like a hell-bound ambulance. When the album comes out in late summer/early fall, Billy says it’ll be “more healin’ than you can imagine.” So save yourself that trip to the free clinic, and get your healing from the Bad Mother Healers. They might drive you to drink and dance and shout, but the music is medicine for your ears. You can catch the Healers June 1 at the Baha Rock Club, and July 13-14 at the Hippies and Hillbillies Festival in Willow Springs, MO. For more information go to badmotherhealers.com.


Model: Mel

Model: Rockabilly Girl

I

t was at Naughti Gras when I first heard of Molly Algernon, but by the end of the night I had yet to find her works hanging due to the large volume of artists and general good times involved in an art show of the magnitude of Naughti Gras. It wasn’t until her solo show at Novak’s last month that I had the opportunity to engulf the intoxicating images she captures on film with such simplicity. As we spoke her frames still laid on the floor for hanging. It was difficult to keep my eyes focused on hers, as her works arouse the soul and mind, with a sinful eloquence that many artists never grasp regardless of education or equipment. My only challenge became finding a piece for our cover that wasn’t too erotic, too sexually intriguing. Molly admits there’s nothing exciting about her, that she’s the youngest of five from Quincy Illinois. She says she grew up like everyone else with divorced parents, except for the fact that her dad is a hippie and her mother is gay. What does separate her story, whether it be exciting or special, is that she ended up homeless for several months, which landed her in St. Louis. Molly credits Sex+ Stl (sex positive St. Louis) with setting her brain on fire though. “Obviously, for anyone who is familiar with my art, sex has profoundly influenced me. It was the sex positive scene that allowed me to bloom, and it was the people in the scene

Models: Kendra and Mel

that supported me from the beginning. Without them, none of this would have happened.” With that thought still fresh, it is with pleasure I introduce you to the sinful thoughts of Molly Algernon.... When did you first develop an interest in photography? I’ve always been creative. I’ve always been singing, drawing, painting, writing. I had an interest in photography at a young age. I told myself that I would be a photographer for National Geographic. Those dreams died of quickly when I realized how much photography would likely cost. Fast forward 15 years and I’m in a creatively expansive city, exploring my more sexually liberated side. While doing this I started taking pictures of friends... purely for our own enjoyment (if ya know what I mean ;)). There was definitely a voyeur side of me that was beginning to flourish. In these soft, sensual, purely human and instinctual moments, I was finding myself enjoying taking pictures in a way that was strictly creative. It kind of started to ruin the moment. HA! In one specific moment, I had been taking pictures of my husband (with my camera phone) dressed in a vintage slip when I stopped and thought to myself.... “I really enjoy this, and I think I might be good at it”. In a split second, this moment that had been intended to be sexy, suddenly turned into a full on photo shoot with me posing him, adjusting lighting, etc. Out of it came one of the best pictures I’ve ever taken. I still have it, and I say that it’s the picture that started it all. This was just over a year ago. That was when I decided that I wanted to start taking this seriously. I started making my photos public, and, apparently, people agreed that I should be doing this for real. My friend Dan promptly pointed me towards the kickstarter website. Thanks to the generosity of the people in the sex positive scene I was able to reach my $1,000 goal and buy my first camera. I’m curious, what’s your poi-

son when it comes to cameras?... And why? This is the place where I wanted to make something very clear. Despite the small amount of success and notoriety I’ve found with my photography, the truth is that I know nothing about photography. At least not technically. I know what pleases my eye, and then I try over and over to find that. So, when people ask me about my camera, or any technical questions for that matter, I end up with a blank look on my face. I know what these numbers do. I know what this button does. But, good god, don’t ask me what it means. Camera geeks seem to take me less seriously for this reason, but I keep saying that a shit ton of camera equipment and understanding doesn’t make you an artist. You have to have the eye and the desire. I take a lot of inspiration from the likes of Diane Arbus. She had a very ‘fuck all’ attitude when it came to photography. It was always more important that she display her subject correctly rather than get the photo “correct”.

Model: Michelle Moon

Let’s talk about the images you displayed at Novak’s last week. Although we couldn’t use it for the cover, the “God Creating Sex” piece was powerful, yet eloquent. Can you tell me Model: Abbie about that shoot? It’s funny that you ask me about this photo. who actually pay attention to what I do, that It has virtually, through no effort of my own, become my staple piece. I was lying in bed one nudity is beautiful, that being a confident, night thinking about classic, beautiful poses. sexual human is, indeed, human. I want peoThe painting by Michelangelo, “God Creating ple to see that everyone, even someone you Adam”, came to mind. Then I wondered what it don’t normally see modeling, can be shown would look like to have the hand of ‘God‘ close in a beautiful, sexual, erotic manner. We are to touching the nipple of a naked woman. I im- human. Humans are made to have sex. We mediately erased this idea, thinking it to be wouldn’t be around without it. So why should silly. Four months later I’m doing a shoot with we demoralize it and make it shameful?! I a close friend of mine. I tell her not to laugh at want everyone to feel free and open and seme, but I have this ridiculous idea. Out came cure with who they are. the picture you saw. No editing needed. One shot, and I knew I had exactly what I had imag- And last, where can readers find more of your works or reach you? ined. I have a tumblr at missalgernon.tumblr.com. I also have a facebook page where you can Tell me about the cover image we chose. HA! I took this picture, on a whim, while drink- “like” me at facebook.com/mollyalgernonphoing at the model’s house. That model just hap- tography. If anyone is interested in purchaspens to be my sister. I decided that night that I ing a print (I only do limited runs of 15 per wanted to do something very dark and twisted. print that I put out), I have an etsy site at molI bought a dollar store mask and traveled to lyalgernon.etsy.com. Lastly, if anyone is interested in contactmy sister’s basement. It was another shot that I knew I ‘had’ as soon as I saw the preview on ing me about modeling or hiring me for an artistic shoot they can get a hold of me via my camera. any of the sites above, or my email is missalYour work is extremely diverse, although it gernon@gmail.com does focus on the erotic. Tell me about your Human Sexuality Project. I want to expose, to the small portion of people


As a point-and-shoot amateur photogropher, I have a deep appreciation for those who share the same passion of the arts to the next level. Anyone, like myself, can point-andshoot, but those who find models to pose, then edit and photoshop, not only require skill but posses a fever for photgraphy most of us amateurs will never understand. John Mitchell is one of those unique photgrapgers, a slave to his true love, photgraphic creation. His works twist the mind, intentionally, like a master to the puppet. The only question left is, who is the master, and who is the puppet? I recently cornered him by email to find out. So John, how did you get involved in photography? I purchased a DSLR camera mid-2008 for a trip i was taking to London, and enjoyed taking pictures enough that it just developed into a hobby, and then i started getting attention and requests to shoot at performances. What kind of camera do you prefer to shoot with... and why? I have a Canon 50D and its been my favorite of the ones i have played with. i don’t need anything bigger or more expensive,and it suits me and my “utilitarian” personality best. I noticed some of your works are heavily photoshopped, like the one of Sarah covered in flames and lightening bolts. Tell me a bit about your editing/photoshop process. When i got into photography and using the camera as a tool, i never saw what i wanted to do as simply taking a picture.I have taken what some people call good photographs,but there’s much more editing and artistic manipulation to the stuff i do.i much more want to CREATE pictures,rather than just take them. i am very detailed in photographing the elements i want in a picture,and then trying to sell the image as a whole,hoping the viewer cant even distinguish between what is real and isn’t. i have no formal training,just alot of time spent developing my skills,and a fairly well-fed imagination. i have photoshopped literally thousands of pictures in the past couple years,and constantly push my self to improve. I also noticed you shoot a lot of burlesque. How did you get involved with the burlesque scene?

the burlesque and bellydance,are kinda like sisters of the seattle group,and i have many friends in both. i enjoy seeing aerial and fire performances as well,and try to shoot them all with equal passion. What do you have going on in 2012, showings new works, etc? i have tried to step up my game in 2012,making a commercial and advertising myself to get more knowledge of Drumroll Studios out into the general public. I have designs on many projects this summer,one of them being a weekly image/story, in the same style of my really popular “Endworld” series i did on flickr. i am also working closely with Atmosfear productions on their upcoming live shows and marketing videos. Where can readers find more about you and your works? my main site is www.drumroll-studios.com,where people can see many of my best works and also buy almost any kind of print or poster size they can imagine.Also,I have a Flickr stream with almost 4,000 images,including my 365 project and Endworld series, and i have most of my material on Facebook.


The Surly Gourmand Devouring Slices of Misery so You Don’t Have To

Boke Bowl 1028 SE Water Ave Portland, OR 503-719-5698 On a recent trip to Portland, I discovered that there are TOO MANY utterly delicious dining options in the Rose City. As a result, we were having trouble deciding where to eat. But there’s one restaurant in Portland at which attendance, for me at least, is mandatory: Boke Bowl. Boke Bowl is the brainchild of one of my favorite motherfuckers: Patrick Fleming, author of the hilariously lowbrow blog Culinary Addict. In Culinary Addict, Patrick juxtaposes scenes from his sordid past as a full-on junkie with insights he’s gained during his recovery and subsequent career as a successful executive chef. Patrick’s writing somehow manages to be simultaneously insightful AND stomach turning, like one of those old “Nova” episodes where they put a fiber optic camera inside a guy’s dick so everyone can watch him jizz from the inside. You may think my simile trashy and inaccurate, but it’s actually quite apt: Patrick’s convoluted and juicy life experiences are the urethra of his soul, his inspiring battle to overcome drug addiction and alcoholism is his heart’s jizz, his pen the miniature camera which captures his literary orgasm as he shoots it all over your mom’s tits… I mean the internet. By “your mom’s tits” I mean the internet, because in much the same way that Coca-Cola is so popular in the south that people call any soft drink a Coke, your mom’s tits are so frequently seen on the internet that the two are basically synonymous. Along with his business partners Brannon Riceci and Tim Parsons, Patrick launched Boke Bowl first (as fledgling restaurateurs are wont to do these days) as a pop-up. Boke Bowl: the Pop Up was hosted in various venues all over Portland to great acclaim and sold-out engagements. Late last year they opened a permanent location, and Boke Bowl instantly became the darling of people who care about things. We started with the warm brussels sprout salad ($9). Roasted brussels sprouts were tossed with slippery cubes of fresh mango, roasted cauliflower, and smoked tofu. This was super fucking delicious. The sprouts were perfectly cooked: tender inside, caramelized outside. Sometimes there were crisp outer leaves still attached here and there, crunchy and brown and with a texture like your tongue leaping into a pile of freshly raked leaves on a crisp fall afternoon. The cauliflower was stained a pleasing mahogany color by having been either marinated, or roasted, or smoked, but probably all three. The tofu, too, was more delicious than this oftenmaligned ingredient (maligned by me, anyway) had any right to be: at Boke Bowl they treat tofu like pork, first marinated for days in a brine of salt, sugar, star anise, juniper, and bay leaves, then smoked. Pork belly steam buns were okay. For $7 we got 3 gua bao, in which luscious rectangles of melty pork belly were nestled inside soft mitts of cloudy rice dough, along with some pickles, and a sprinkling of chopped scallion. This was a pretty standard if uninspired version of Taiwan’s most famous export besides electronic components, metals, plastic components, optical instruments, chemicals, and textiles. I hate to admit it but the tofu in the Brussels sprout salad was actually tastier, with a more nuanced flavor, than the pork belly. What the…? Tofu that tastes better than pork? Did you hear that noise? The universe just imploded! Pork dashi ramen ($9). This isn’t like ramen you eat in college: a big swirly pile of house made ramen noodles, soft and slippery and starchy in the way that only hand made fresh pasta can be, swam around in an opaque pool of dark brown broth, with heavily muscled shreds of juicy roasted pork, water chestnuts and some braised greens, and topped with scattered emerald bracelets of sliced scallion. This broth is complex like a calculus word problem: not too salty, but very savory, with hints

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of smoke. That having been said, I would hope that this luxe noodle bowl would be tastier than what you can purchase at Costco, considering it costs 4500% more than one of those typical wavy bone-white rectangles of Top Ramen. But it’s totally worth the price. Fried pears ($2.50) were so delicious, they boggled my tongue. I don’t know exactly how long they fried these pears for, but the fruit had been rendered down into sweet leathery quarters, the sugars concentrated into a crystalline caramel shellac, then doused in a garlicky sesame vinegar. I couldn’t tell if this was supposed to be a dessert or not, but it doesn’t even matter: I’d eat these fucking fried pears for every meal if I could. What they tasted the most like was an Oompa Loompa’s dried ear, taken as a macabre souvenir by GI’s if, and when, we finally go to war with those candy-making bastards who cause Americans to be morbidly obese. A chocolate coconut-cream Twinkie ($2) reminded me too much of an Almond Joy for comfort. A big sloppy schlong of chocolate pastry was filled with coconut cream, topped with slivers of candied almond and a couple stripes of chocolate ganache. Nobody likes Almond Joy: in a mixed bowl of leftover Halloween Candy, it’s always the last thing left, rattling around in the bowl with Sour Apple Jolly Ranchers and a Bit O’ Honey that had somehow become unwrapped and now has a piece of dog hair stuck to it. Eventually someone eats the furry Bit O’ Honey. Luckily the vanilla miso Twinkie ($1.50) did the Twinkie name proud. I don’t know how Boke Bowls keeps getting away with actually calling these things “Twinkies,” since I’m sure it’s only a matter of time before Hostess slaps them with a cease-and-desist, but this Twinkie, unlike the chocolate-coconut one, was tastier than actual Twinkies: the dough was light, and not cloyingly sweet. The vanilla miso filling tasted like a mildly salty crème anglaise, but it was a perfect counterpoint to the pastry. The desserts at Boke Bowl are fine, but if I were eating there and wanted something else to eat after I was done ordering, I would get a side ($3) of this motherfucking fried chicken. It was so tender you could eat it with a SPOON, and we did, since they didn’t give us a knife or fork, and the pieces were too big to pick up with chopsticks. The crust was shaggy and brown like a 1970’s carpet. The meat was salty, with a little spice, as juicy as fuck, and topped with a smear of “orange dot sauce,” which is a sweet-and-sour mélange of pickled mustard seeds and pickled cucumber suspended in a hazy aoli. I don’t know exactly how they make this fried chicken but I suspect it’s the kind of thing that takes at least 2 days to prepare. Boke Bowl is awesome. Not everything is perfect: the concept is blatantly Momofuku-esque, and during the lunch rush this place can seem like a yuppie cafeteria, but those are minor complaints. They clearly use very high-quality ingredients, the prices are affordable, and all of the food seems to be handcrafted with painstaking care. Boke Bowl is a vital and cutting-edge addition to an already legendary food scene, and no trip to Portland would be complete without some of Boke Bowl’s fried chicken, which is so mind-bendingly delicious, I had to give it a separate rating! This chicken fundamentally changes your consciousness in exactly the same way your brain would warp if you saw a midget taking a shit. Rating: 8.5 bowls out of 10 Fried Chicken: 10 midgets out of 10 For inquiries call 503-719-5698 (they don’t take reservations)

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CRAWDADIN’ AT SONNY’S

W

hile Sonny’s in Soulard has yet to officially open their kitchen, it doesn’t stop them from having some killer cook outs every once in a while, or even serving up some tasty Cajun crawfish. And that’s exactly what they did for their patrons on October 22nd. The crawfish boil started in the early afternoon with the rockin’ tunes of Jake entertaining the full house, but the party went on well into the night, as it always does at Sonny’s. And as entertaining as Jake is with the guitar, it was the crawfish that stole the show. Mixed with a slew of secret Cajun ingredients, corn and potatoes, this boil would have tricked any Cajun into believing he was down in the Bayou not Soulard! These kind of parties are nothing new for Sonny’s. On Cinco de Mayo they celebrated the day with a festival titled Titties and Tacos, which featured the Tiny Cows rockin’ out all day, a bikini contest, and free tacos – complemented with Corona, Dos Equis, and Margartita specials all day! The gang at Sonny’s doesn’t fool around when it comes to a party! Check them out on Facebook for future events.

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Gemini T

he bleak days and chilly nights of winter have finally passed, sending my young Gemini into a frenzy of thoughts. The warmness of summer air resurrects lost memories of carnivals and festivals alike, days of romance and childlike innocence. Although we both know your thoughts and actions were never that innocent nor childlike, harmless perhaps, but never innocent. Masturbating in public, there are worse crimes. But you already know of those tales. Perhaps, as in most cases, it was parental pressure that led you to try alcohol. Maybe it was the alcohol that led to these peculiar actions in your youth. Your parent’s insistence of higher education surely didn’t help, perhaps that’s why it was so short lived. And when your father pushed you into the service, who could honestly blame you for drinking yourself out of the contract. Perhaps I would have done the same if I had not found my gift. But summer is now here, your favorite time of the year. No more cold and lonely days. No more dark nights with a bottle of whiskey as your only companion. You think it’s time to get out and venture the parks and trails, pretending to be normal and sane. Just as the days when you were discharged from the Army. You could have went anywhere, but you went to Miami Florida to avoid Winter’s nasty bite. That didn’t work out too well either. Eventually you headed back north, where family and friends could protect the child who could never grow up. That was then and this is now, my young-at-heart Gemini. The confines of winter have got you a bit edgy. I can sense it miles away, like a disruption in the force of life. I am worried about you. Your thoughts of erotic rebellion, public masturbation and such are working against you. And it seems as the days grow warmer so will these suppressed urges you’ve been harboring. I sense bad times in your future if you do not heed my warning. So stay at home this summer, as if it were the coldest of days. Put that bottle of whiskey down and keep your urges of public masturbation to yourself. And whatever you do, stay home on June 30, July 5, July 12, and July 19. These days are bad ju ju for you my young Gemini. If need be, chain yourself to the radiator in your old apartment and cage these carnal urges before the unknown harm that awaits you can not be undone. Don’t laugh, I offered this same advice to another young Gemini some years ago and he found me a bit comical too. He then went from public masturbation to rape, then to murder and cannibalism. I even heard he was accused of necrophilia. A year later he died en route to the hospital after being beaten with a bar from a weight machine while on work detail in prison. That Gemini was Jeffrey Dahmer. Not so funny anymore, is it my naive Gemini? So, my young, eccentric Gemini, believe me when I say a few days of sun and warmth a year are better than a cold cell, even more so if someone grabs a pipe and bashes your brains out. It could happen to you, too. Disclaimer: For all you crazy, fucking weirdos out there, this horrorscope is for entertainment purposes only. It does not in any shape or form depict any real characters or situations in your near future. So please don’t kill anyone. Killings bad, MmmKay?

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By Matthew Gorman

Eerie Evi d e n c e ?

A

nyone with even so much as a passing interest in the supernatural is undoubtedly familiar with the ubiquitous “ghost photos” that inundate both myriad websites and fortean publications alike. Typically, these pictures depict glowing orbs, mists or streaks of light, oftentimes hovering near unsuspecting human subjects in the snapshots. And while these photographs may well indeed be visually recorded documentation of the paranormal, they are extremely easy to counterfeit, or for simple tricks of the light to create the illusion of a “ghost” upon a photographic negative. What’s more, little orbs, blurs and streaks are not particularly compelling for those of us who long for something far more substantial. Such photographs do exist, however, wherein fully formed apparitions appear, forever immortalized upon the film in all their chilling fortitude, and where no evidence of photographic tampering can be found to exist. Herein are contained some of the most famous of these photos:

1.The Ghostly Passenger This photograph was taken in a British churchyard in 1959 by one Mrs. Mabel Chimney. Mrs. Chimney had just finished photographing the gravesite of her mother, who had passed away a few years prior. As she and her husband were preparing to leave the churchyard, she elected to snap a quick picture of her husband sitting by himself inside the car. Upon developing the photograph, a second figure can be clearly seen in the automobile’s backseat. Mrs. Chimney was stunned to realize this figure was none other than her deceased mother! The photo has been examined over the years and appears to be genuine. One interesting point of note is that the dead woman’s scarf seems to overlap the side pillar the car, suggesting that the woman’s likeness was added to the photograph later, but since this has been proven not to be the case, the only explanation appears to be that she is, indeed, a ghost. 2.The Ghostly Monk This particular picture really creeped me out as a kid when I first saw it in, believe it or not, a children’s book about ghosts! It was taken sometime in the 1960’s at England’s Newby Church by Reverend K.F. Lord. The good reverend was photographing the front of his sanctuary and, true to form in the cases of many ghostly photos, saw nothing unusual at the time. After the photograph was developed, however, the diaphanous form of a cowled and masked monk appeared on the steps of the church’s altar.

of the town hall in Shropshire, England as it burned to the ground in 1995. Although the building was empty at the time, the photo negative clearly shows the complacent countenance of a little girl standing near a doorway, seemingly unperturbed by the roaring flames around her. Many believe her to be the ghost of Jane Churm, the little girl responsible for starting a fire that destroyed the entire town in 1667.

4. The Lord Combermere Photograph This very famous photograph was taken by Ms. Sybell Corbett in December of 1891 at Combermere Abbey in Chesire, England. Ms. Corbett had come to the house to visit her sister who was staying at the Combermere family home. The master of the house, Lord Cambermere, A decorated British calvary commander and a former governor of Barbados, had recently passed away. In fact, his funeral was in progress a few miles way in Wrenbury at the very hour that the photo was taken. Ms. Corbett had set up a camera to take an hour long exposure in the home’s study. The developed photo shows the transparent yet distinctive outline of a man sitting in one of the room’s chairs. Relatives of Lord Cambermere claimed it to be his spitting image. One theory, presented by skeptics, is that because of the photograph’s long exposure it would have been possible for someone to enter the study, spend a short time sitting in the chair, and then leave, registering as a faint trace upon the photo negative. However, all of the Lord’s male servants were attending his funeral at the time nor did any of them resemble their master so greatly. 5. The Brown Lady Of Raynham Hall

3. The Burning Girl Photographer T. O’ Rahilly took this shot

Undoubtedly the most famous ghost photograph of all time is that of ‘The Brown Lady’. This photograph

came about as a result of a photo shoot for “Country Life” magazine in September of 1936. Lady Towshend of Raynham Hall in Norfolk, England had commissioned Mr. Indre Shira to take several photographs of her grand manor for the magazine. As the photographer and his assistant were setting up for a shot of the house’s grand staircase, Mr. Shira looked up and was shocked to see a luminescent humanlike form floating towards them down the staircase. Shira shouted to his assistant to help him in quickly photographing the phantasm, and the assistant, despite not seeing anything there before him at the time, complied. The rest is, of course, photographic history. The ghost has been seen before and since the famous photo was taken, by residents and guests of the house alike. Among the most affluent of these witnesses was King George IV, himself, while he was visiting the home for a brief period during the 1800’s. Several witnesses describe the ghost to be that of a woman wearing a brown satin dress, hence the appellation of ‘The Brown Lady’. Some have claimed that the spectre appears with its eyes gouged out, and on one occasion a bullet was fired at the phantom by a startled guest, passing through the spirit with no effect. The ghost is believed to be that of Lady Dorothy Towshend, wife of Charles Towshend, second Viscount of Raynham in the1700’s. Rumor has it that Lady Towshend’s funeral in 1726 was a sham, and that Charles, fearing his wife’s infidelity, had locked her away inside the great house where she had lived on for many years after her alleged death. Author and researcher Thurston Hopkins said once of ‘The Brown Lady” picture, “ It may well be the most genuine ghost photograph we possess.”


Think Outside The Cage with Kendra Holliday of The Beautiful Kind

How Do I Give A Compliment?

Dear Kendra, What’s the best way to give a compliment to a Lady? ~Aspiring Gentleman Dear Aspiring Gentleman, People LOVE to receive compliments. It makes our day and warms our hearts. Now think about the times someone has tried sliming up to you with some cheap excuse of a compliment and then wouldn’t leave you alone until you are forced into rudeness. Awful, isn’t it? There are all kinds of false communications that disguise themselves as compliments but are actually not-so-hidden agendas, which negates the compliment and cheapens the actual reason why the communication was started in the first place. When a true Gentleman gives a compliment, he truly believes what he is saying and wants to honestly impart this to someone. He is authentic. He does not require or expect a communication back. He has no other agenda. He then withdraws with dignity, leaving it up to the Lady to do with it what she will. The opposite of this is a guy who gives a Lady a compliment with the intent of getting attention for himself, aka his penis. When this happens it really doesn’t matter what he says to her - as long as he gets communication started. Or he gives a compliment that is really a come-on and he expects a response. Do NOT, under any circumstances, give smarmy, showy compliments. This is simply performance, a ruse. If the Lady does communicate back with you, this is your chance to be yourself. Don’t be smarmy or what you may think is “smooth.” Don’t give “lines”. We hate it, we can smell it, and it stinks. Example #1 A real compliment Gent: Excuse me, but I saw some pictures of you today and wanted to tell you that you are beautiful Have a great day. Example#2 Phony crap Gent: Hey hotness, God your (sic) beautiful. I just had to tell you how smokin’ you are. You know... I’m a producer. Example #3 A real compliment Gent: It’s been a while since I’ve spoken to you, but I was reminded of you today and I had to tell you - Hi sexy lady! Lady: Thank you! It’s good to hear from you! Example #4 Phony crap Gent: Hey sexy ! I miss you, you’re so hooot! Lady: Wow , thanks, you too. I haven’t heard from you in ages - what made you think of me?

Photo: Connie LaFlam

Example #5 Phony crap Gent: Hello there. You are very beautiful. You know, I’m a photographer. Lady: Thank you for the compliment, Have a pleasant evening. Gent: (sitting down now) But, I’m a photographer, you should give me your number and model for me. Lady: Actually I’d just like to sit and have my drink. Thank you though. Gent: (rude tone) What, I give you a compliment. I can’t talk to you? Lady: I’m not interested in your “Camera Club” foot in the door technique. Your line is a creepy come on and I don’t appreciate it.  Example #6, The WORST kind Gent: Wow, your (sic) hot. Wanna dance? Lady: No thank you. Gent: BITCH! To recap : 1.Give a compliment that’s real. Don’t expect anything in return. 2. If your agenda is anything other than to give the compliment.- it’s not a real compliment and we will know it. Don’t do it. OR don’t fake it, just communicate. 3. Don’t follow a compliment with shallow “lines”. 4. Be honest and authentic. 5. Be a gentleman and know how to give a graceful exit.

ask@thebeautifulkind.com www.thebeautifulkind.com Got a sex, relationship, BDSM or fetish related question? Ask your local sexpert, Kendra Holliday, Writer & Editor of The Beautiful Kind, and Co-Founder of Sex Positive St. Louis.

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We went, there was a 'moment', then we really had fun, at this year's

by James Stansberry

T

North St Louis Mandina’s 1319 St Louis Ave Dutch Town Friendly’s 3503 Roger Pl South County Steel & Ink Studio 3561 Ritz Center MOFO The Silver Ballroom 4701 Mofo Rd at Itaska Tin Hat 3157 Mofo Rd South City Shameless Grounds 2650 Sidney The Heavy Anchor 5226 Gravois

Jefferson Ave Bistro 3701 S Jefferson Ave Cherokee District Apop Records 2831 Cherokee St Downtown Crack Fox 1114 Olive St Soulard Shanti Tavern 825 Allen DB’s Sportsbar 1615 S Broadway Laclede Landing Show Me’s 724 N 2nd St Big Daddy’s 118 Morgan St

Affton Bob’s Liquor 9347 Gravois Rd

he weekend started out with a disappointment (losing forty bucks, when cash is so dear, is like Bill Gates going bankrupt to me and sweetie, and this did bode well for our Comicon weekend), and then a meltdown (by me) in the middle of this year's Emerald City Comicon. Then after a little 'inner pep talk' from my spirit guides (hey, I'm a psychic, what did you expect?), this one gathered his wits, and me and sweetie squeezed back into the huge toothpaste tube that was this year's Comicon (trust me, with so many people in one space, it sure felt like we were in a toothpaste tube!), and got down to the business of having fun. This involved getting the signatures of several artists and writers (I was particularly glad to get the signature of artist Keu Cha, illustrator for the new comic title I've been reading, 'The Magdalena', especially since not finding him earlier in the day had resulted in my 'little moment'). I was also happy, very happy to get Bill Willingham's signature (he's the writer and creator of 'Fables' the other new series I've taken a liking to), and sweetie snapped a photo of me with both Cha and Willingham, so that was just icing on the proverbial cake at that point. We didn't get to meet any of the big name media guests like Christopher Judge ('Tealc' from 'Stargate:SG1' – who I honored by donning my version of a 'jaffa' outfit), or Summer Glau ('Serenity', 'The Sarah Connor Chronicles'), or my fave, Katee Sackoff ('Battlestar Galactica'), but I got some new titles, a tee shirt that supported a good cause (which I worked out in the next week), a couple of new buttons for my leather jacket and a 'sleep mask', which sweetie and I'll be using for play at Norwescon. So, in all, it turned out to be a pretty good convention, with some wild and outrageously fun costumes. A perfect kickoff to my convention going season, which'll only get better with Norwescon (by the time you read this, I'll have danced, as much as my 'bum' knee will let me, and mingled with old and new friends at the Northwest's largest sci-fi/fantasy convention, Easter weekend), then Crypticon (my fave, because trying to become the next Stephen King, this horror convention's my cup 'o meat), and ending the year with Steamcon (sweetie's favorite steampunk jamboree). If you want to join the fun, Google science fiction/fantasy conventions and come see what all the laughing's about.

Overland Just Bill’s 2543 Woodson Rd Priscilla’s 10210 Page Ave Central West End 34 Club 34 N Euclid Tom’s Bar & Grill 20 S Euclid The Grove Just John’s 4112 Manchester Ave The Atomic Cowboy 4140 Manchester Ave

For a complete list of our distibution points, log on to www.facebook.com/saintlouissinner

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Seattle, WA


Stl Sinner Mya 2012