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Edition 2. April 2011




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Fa Fo sh Fr r io ee n do m

M N Re ar ew vi ke ew t

The local newspaper for a global village

St Kilda Newspaper 



contents 2 2 3 4 4 5 5 5 6 7 8 9 10 10 11

Whats On Ask Dr Hillary Cover Story: Lack of communication St Kilda from the bottom up Out and About with Miss Delish Insight & info Health with Dr Dan MF on the Newmarket Reviews Lifestyle Fashion Arts & Artists Captivating Kev Mind Games Local Business Directory


What’s on for MAY

A day by the green May 7th $15 3pm-11pm 10 muscial Acts. St Kilda Bowls Club, Fitzroy Street. Capolinea is located at 188d Barkly Street and is open 11am-10pm every day (closed Tuesdays). Capolinea is offering 1 free sweet crepe with every savoury crepe purchased up until May20th. The St Kilda Film festival is held from the 24th-29th of May. Visit for program info.

Steve-O (MTV and Jackass)The Entirely Too Much Information Tour at the Palais Theatre on Monday, May 16th tickets start from $69.90. 19 May - 5 June Shakespeare Grove Studio Artist’s Annual Exhibition -

Between Sea & Sky, Opening Night: Thursday 19th May (6-8pm)

FREE CPR Training. Learn to do CPR on Sunday May 29th. 1pm - 4pm. Bookings essential ph 0405 845 548. The St Kilda PCYC Gala Ball will be held on the 26th May 2011 at the prestigious Nine Darling Street, South Yara ECO CENTRE - Eco Market Hi-Tech, Energy, Composting, Cooking, sewing class May 1st, Sunday 11am - 4pm Jackman Gallery May 4th - 22nd artist exhibition for Kylie Baudino FREE CPR Training. Learn to do CPR on Sunday May 29th. 1pm - 4pm. Bookings essential ph 0405 845 548.

The Moscow Circus has been and gone. What a great show it was. See more photos at

Whats up Doc!? Dear Dr. Hilary,

One is experiencing a difficult time with one’s forthcoming wedding. So much pressure on both of us - it is a common story but in our case not so common, well at least not on both sides. We feel as if our wedding is not really ours to own but we have the weight of a nation and various far flung colonies on our shoulders. We wanted a quiet and simple wedding but it seems that we have been told to invite a bunch of vagabonds from all over the world that we have never met. Surely, we have enough of those from within the family and we don’t need to expand this by importing various foreign dumplings. I would love to have your opinion on this, Dr. Hilary.

Open Newspaper St Kilda News welcomes submissions from members of the community. Submissions of any length including articles, photos and artwork are accepted. Please include your name and suburb and the phrase, “I give permission to St Kilda Newspaper to edit and publish my submission”. Send submissions to or by good old fashioned postal mail to PO Box 1427 St Kilda VIC 3182. All material published by St Kilda Newspaper is copyright and no part of this publication can be reproduced without prior permission. If you want to use one of our articles in another publication please contact and we will give you permission in most cases.

We have already had a small problem with the invitees in that for some we did not issue a ‘plus one’ on some invitations. But why should we waste our money on inviting people that we don’t even know – I mean some of them are lackeys who don’t even have any influence over anyone or anything. Maybe you have experienced a difficulty with this as well. Weddings are expensive and it is important for us to spend frugally especially when students are rioting on the streets over a few extra pennies on their tuition fees. Maybe if these people had proper jobs then they wouldn’t have time to be rioting!

St Kilda News will work to correct any significant errors as soon as we can. If you notice a significant error in the newspaper please contact Contact details St Kilda Newspaper PO Box 1427 St Kilda VIC 3182 Phone: 1300 48 55 11 Advertising sales: 0405 845 548 Advertising email: Distribution email: Public submissions: Editor: Print run: 5000 copies Regular Contributors ARTS Aaron Webb Aaron is the St Kilda News arts columnist. He will be interviewing local artists and keeping up with the art scene about town. RESTAURANTS

MF MF is a hospitality professional and our resident restaurant reviewer. He remains incognito and may be eating at the cafe next to you now. WHAT’S NEW Rosie Moffat rosie@stkildanews. com Rosie is a marketing expert and keeps her eye on what’s new in St Kilda for us. PHOTOGRAPHY Hayden Charles Hayden is a professional photographer with his own local business, Hayden Charles Photography. SOCIAL SCENE Miss Delish A.K.A the SKN Social Butterfly. She is out and about over the month. If you would like Miss Delish to attend your event send her an email.

GRAPHIC DESIGNER O’keito Shortte O’keito is the St. Kilda News Graphics Designer. Ensuring that the news stays not only informative but visually appealing is his mission. LIFESTYLE Mr Corbs mrcorbs@stkildanews. com Mr Corbs has a very expensive bike - please don’t steal it Hilton Garcia HEALTH Dr Dan Dr Dan Spernat is a local practicing Urologist FEATURES Samatha Lenkic Dr. Hillary Farquarson

So, Dr. Hilary, weddings are a business fraught with dilemmas and we would love to gain advice from someone as worldly as you. With eminent regards, Wills and Katy, England

Dear Maritally Troubled, It was lovely to receive your communication from England but I fear that by the time you receive a response your wedding will have taken place and my advice may arrive too late but it will still benefit the general readership here in the formerly Bohemian enclave of St. Kilda.

The mention of weddings takes me back to my own first marriage in the early 70s when we invited so many local dignitaries including Gough Whitlam, Prime Minister of the day. In the end nobody else turned up except the obligatory friends and family but why should others turn up to the wedding of a cabbage picker’s daughter! Since then and through five other marriages (4 different people) as well as one sex change, I can assure you that the list of invitees gradually diminished, admittedly this was down to a commensurate reduction in friends over these events. Money is important, although I should point out that it is your subjects who are footing the bill but commoners always value austerity. I agree with your approach in that you did not give some people the opportunity to use ‘plus one’ as this is usually for Jezebel types who never stick to one partner long enough for you to get to know them. Let them eat cake, I say, but certainly not at your wedding! Dumplings at a wedding are a perennial problem and I know from many of the letters from St. Kilda residents that this is a subject that is always at the forefront of engaged couples when they are planning the invitation list. It seems that this may be something that is a necessary part of the event. After all a wedding without dumplings may be compared (albeit strangely) to a strip tease without a duffle coat. The bizarre pervy Uncle, or the drunk Aunt or the boyfriend of your best friend, who is a twat, all inevitably have to be invited to the event. It is difficult to avoid and really has to be put up with – for the sake of others. After all a wedding, these days, really is not about two people!! You also, rather erroneously, mention students rioting. I certainly hope that this does not transfer to the University of Life here in St. Kilda as if the coffee shops had to shutter up then one would have to head to South Yarra for coffee. These riots really just are awful when you think of the victims and inconvenience caused to ordinary people such as your columnist. Yours, Dr. Hilary Farquarson.

St Kilda Newspaper

Cover Story

Lack of Communication T


A 25-metre radio tower has been built on the rail land on the corner of William Street and Grosvenor Street, Balaclava, upsetting local residents.

with Tower in Balaclava

he tower is located approximately 50 metres from the William Street Park and 100 metres from a popular children’s playground. The tower and associated base station are part of a new Digital Train Radio System (DTRS) installed by the Department of Transport to improve train driver radio communications. Department of Transport spokeswoman Caitlyn Hammond said the tower is one of more than 70 under construction across Melbourne’s rail network.

Actor and comedian Tania Lacy, who lives in Balaclava, is one of a number of residents opposed to the tower. She is critical of the exemption that allows less regulation for towers installed by the Department of Transport. “The whole process has been very secretive.” she said. Towers installed by the Department of Transport are exempt from the usual requirements which apply to carriers under the Telecommunications Act 1997, the mobile phone network code, and local planning laws. Port Phillip Mayor Rachel Powning said “The current legislative process limits Council’s ability to intervene further on this matter.” Paula, whose children attend the Avenue Children’s Centre, located approximately 350 metres from the tower felt the community would have appreciated a lot more consultation. “Then maybe people wouldn’t be so uptight about it” she said.

The whole process has been very secretive. — Tania Lacy

Prue, a local resident who takes her toddler to the nearby children’s playground, was also critical of the lack of community consultation. “We only found out about it when a resident asked a worker what he was doing one day.” she said. “I’ve since found out that they (Department of Transport) did a

small letterbox drop in the second week of January, when people were away” she added. The Department of Transport confirms that information was distributed to 24 residences in William and Grosvenor Streets on 13 January 2011. A follow-up doorknock of 16 houses was conducted on 19 January. State Member for Caulfield Liberal David Southwick MP, whose electorate takes in Balaclava, said he met with the Minister for Public Transport, the Hon Terry Mulder MP on 23 March, as well as residents to discuss “the community’s concerns”. The Member for the Southern Metropolitan Region, George Crozier MLC, was also in attendance. At the meeting the Minister agreed to seek advice from the Department of Transport on the possibility of moving the DTRS infrastructure to an existing telecommunications tower at nearby 34 William Street. This has been deemed as an unfeasible option. “Moving to the site nearby would require a significant increase in height to the existing tower and impose access and security problems for both the current tenants and the Department.” Mr Southwick said. Residents are also concerned that the tower has been designed with the intention of leasing DTRS facilities to mobile phone carriers in the future.

VicTrack where the Commonwealth Telecommunications Act 1997 and associated Codes will apply. Commonwealth instruments do not mandate co-location but carriers are encouraged to take “all reasonable steps” to use existing facilities meaning that co-location cannot be

ruled out. Federal Labor Member for Melbourne Ports, Michael Danby MP, has also criticised the placement of the tower calling it an “ugly and unwanted intrusion on the local area.” This is not so far removed from Tania Lacy’s description of it as “Ugly in the way it looks and ugly in the way the situation has been handled.” At the time of writing some locals were seeking advice on the legality of the situation.

By Matthew Coote

Local resident Jessica said that the tower “looks suspiciously like a mobile phone tower” and said “How can you guarantee that it is not going to be leased to a private operator?” A letter to residents from the Department of Transport states “The Department has no plans for co-location of telecommunications activities on the facility.” The same letter reveals that upon completion the control and management of the facility will be transferred to

1300 307 164 Open 6 days





Showroom: 234 Centre Dandenong Rd, Cheltenham

St Kilda Newspaper


Life-Style Out & About with Miss Delish


hree girlfriends decided to have a sophisticated Saturday afternoon a few weeks ago. “Low key, not too much in the alcohol department” was the phrase I remember one of them saying. I couldn’t have agreed more and felt that an iconic establishment very close to my home had been severely neglected lately by my good self and suggested we make the short walk down the street and across the road to Riva. I can only describe the affair that turned out to be lunch as ironic. We were ushered to a table inside with a view of the moorings and then the usual social situation between three women unfolded as it always does. Pleasantries about the view, the weather and the venue were exchanged- The sneaky smile from one girl to the other as the nice looking waiter with the perky bum retreated with our drink order. And then it beganthe conversation turned from work and social planning over the next two months, to private lives. Lunching Lady number one- She was describing that she is ready for an ‘Eat Pray Love’ and booking a holiday where she is excited to meet new people and see new things. It was as though she had tired of the ”quiet surroundings” Melbourne has become to her. As she said the word ‘quiet’, she gestured to the deck over looking the water. This was because the large alfresco sea view area was nearly totally empty and at that moment, was unusually quiet.

St. Kilda, From the Bottom Up

Lunching Lady number two- waited patiently to hear out the plans of her girlfriend and suggested destinations to show her support and enthusiasm. And then her impending wedding became our new topic of conversation. We discussed dresses, menus, music and of course the husband to be.

Lunching Lady number three- discussed the fact that all the men in her life needed to be vetoed, and how could she gain some satisfaction from the fact that she had invested too much time and effort with a f#$! Wit? Disgraceful comments that had the underlying tone of a woman scorned followed and we set about describing nasty wishes upon the man in question, whereby, he would experience the same punched up feeling as she did. The St Kilda Sea Gods were obviously listening to our conversation that day and decided to take pity. Slowly but surely, the deck almost void of patrons one hour earlier filled up with seasoned afternoon drinkers and the buzz of the wooden boat house increased. We watched as a table of glamorous women sat around and drank with out paying any mind to the very tall group of good looking men that were their partners. It was only on closer inspection that we discovered we were in amongst a group of AFL footy players and their WAGS, having the customary weekend catch up. The irony began a moment later. We moved ourselves outside to allow one of us to enjoy the post-meal cigarette. In an instant, Lady number one experienced not one, but two, random conversation starters from easy on the eye strangers. I smiled as I realised that she didn’t really need the Eat Pray Love, but more a random day in a venue full of unknowns to capture her zest for something new. Another bottle of wine was ordered and I won’t tell you the ins and outs of how her Saturday night ended, suffice to say, it was random, new and apparently according to Sunday afternoon feedback, very good.

“You spend the whole evening drinking elsewhere and when it gets to one you come here.” We can’t flaw him there. Hospitality workers on this strip come to learn each others’ faces. He definitely knows ours.

full from a gig, Bigmouth and Veludos closed hours ago and no one’s game enough to set foot into the carpeted darkness of the Dalton so we anti-climactically end our night with idle change and no satisfying night cap.

He is also well acquainted with the fact that, upon clocking off on the tills and setting the security alarms after an arduous night scrubbing grills with corrosive poison and gladwrapping meat and lettuce, we routinely take our scant wages to another backpacker bar, further down near Barkley Street. It’s not personal, the swill at the other bar is cheaper, but he takes personal offence.

But when caught in the cyclical workaday of bum-end hospitality one can find solace in the fact that, with every awkward ending, there will be a new beginning. The next night, we will work the same six hours, clock off at the same time, give or take factoring in balmy night crowds or rain, saunter down to backpacker bar A and use our well adept eyes to spot an outside table. Like an infection we will continue to reappear.

The problem is that the latter mentioned bar closes an hour earlier, at one. The Scot who runs it is used to the nightly routine of rousing us to finish our drinks at twelve thirty as the lights go on inside and we are the last patrons on the outdoor tables, which we invariably have to fight the earlier crowds for. So we undertake the nightly progression from backpacker bar A to backpacker bar B, usually without obstruction, but tonight the manager has decided to make us pay for our infidelity. That’s the politics of post work drinks. To be fair they are closing, but it is obvious that he relishes turfing us out. We leave as a pod of thirty-somethings in tight dresses and their drunk boyfriends buy two jugs of cider. The Vineyard’s

Lady number three couldn’t have been more pleased. It involved two police divers, a water police boat, a winch and a very cross man standing anxiously at the top of the boat ramp. The crowd waited patiently, and whispers of what was to be pulled from the dark water filtered throughout the spectators. The Chinese whispers eventually arrived to tell the tale of an argument between a couple, where the female half of the equation had been left totally pissed off. To this day it has not been made clear exactly what transpired between them, but it mattered not. Lunching lady number three roared with laughter as she watched a grown man cry as his Range Rover four wheeled drive was ever so slowly recovered. She said later as the threesome walked home that it was a shallow, completely fulfilling moment to watch that unfold-“bugger me, I should’ve thought to leave a hand brake off”. So next time you are wondering where to spend your afternoon, a local venue in mind, and a little bit of organic drama to keep you inspired- do yourself a favour and have a late lunch at Riva. See you in the village.

Arms folded, the manager of a reputable Ackland Street bar frequented mainly by backpackers gives us a royal greasing off.

Not tonight boys, says his dead pan stare. This is reinforced by the belligerent Irish barman behind him whose golf cap, pointed red sideburns and dumpy silhouette make him look like he’s in the horns section of a two-tone ska band. He knows us too.

Meanwhile, lady number two’s little eyes lit up as we watched two wedding parties arrive for photos on the lawn. Both brides were vastly different, as were their bridesmaids, grooms and guests. Do you ever get the feeling you can pick where some people are from by the guests that attend their wedding? It was an entire preview of what to do and what not to do, of who to invite and who not to. So happy was our blushing bride to be that she didn’t notice the brilliant show going on at the rear of Riva that day.

Not everyone hates us. The Dutch guy who brings us drinks always greets us warmly by name and we promise free chips. We ran into him in the street once. He was drunk and had been stood up by a girl. “Where are you guys going? I’m coming with you,” he queried emphatically before realising the awkwardness of the situation and demurring apologetically.

Final Days (the year St. Kilda lost). We have sat through the rattling and hazy anecdotes from the passing fleas of St. Kilda’s grainy underside. We have met the oddballs, bought roses off the rose man, taken part in forgotten conversations and been accidently pissed on at the urinals by drunk backpackers, and hit on by ageing German gays. This may not be the tourist’s St. Kilda that we read about, with its pristine beachfront esplanade and the giant face and ice cream and cake shops. Neither is it the music fan’s St. Kilda with its international acts passing through the Palais and the Espy and that is dotted with grassroots singleman-and-guitar venues such as Claypots, the Vineyard and Pure Pop. Or the food critic’s St. Kilda from the high end Cicciolina to bean sprout and pine nut pizzas, Spudbar and Lentil as Anything. This is the working man’s St. Kilda. That all becomes clear to us one night when we run into the grouchy manager at (local bar, name withheld). He’s shitfaced and trying to build a tower out of empty glasses. By Thomas James Lee

Retrospectively, the nightly knock-off drinks converge into the one experience. We have witnessed from afar the various paddy wagons wheeling past following drunken street brawls on Australia and Grand

St Kilda Farewell The sun sets over another sleepy Sunday in St Kilda, Three friends sit at the Vinyard polishing off pints, and reminiscing on the past two years they have lived, worked and loved in their adopted home. Adam (the most outspoken of the three) is a hip hop lovin’ Irishman with a bad liver (due to a penchant for hard liquor) His Scottish accomplice Kyle, is a coffee making prodigy with an eye for photography and last but not least, Mat (Aus) a cocktail making, self proclaimed ‘man mountain’. Your humble writer has had the Pleasure/ Misfortune of knowing the three ‘lads’ over the past few years and I can safely say that not only will they leave behind a large group of friends, they also leave a trail of devastated pub owners, soon to see their profit margins slide dramatically (this of coarse excludes all the fine establishments where the three have worked, they will not doubt witness the opposite, along with a noticeable lack of water in their spirits).

they’ll live for the indefinite future, but not before stopping in the land of Thai to ‘soak up the sun’ for a few weeks. Anyone to ever meet the three will recognise this as a complete lie! The words ‘sex tourist’ immediately come to mind, it will of coarse be a miracle if all three don’t end up in jail or engaged in some late night game of Russian roulette ala ‘Deer Hunter’. In closing, I’d like to wish the boys a very happy journey, we’ve had many a messy night on the town together (dry you eyes Kyle) and your presence will be sorely missed in the multi-cultural tapestry that makes this sea side suburb so great. Bon voyage Mon amis. Mike

The boys leave for Edinburgh next week, where

St Kilda Newspaper


Insight & Info

Luna Park ‘Rattle, rattle, rattle... Rattle’. All summer it is the ambient, gritty sound at St. Kilda’s beachfront. It is punctuated by shrill screams which, from a distance, sound not unlike a surgeon’s drill. That is, if the surgeon was made of creaking wood. In the crisper months, the scenic railway stands still and the gates in the great crowned mug’s toothy orifice are pulled closed. Save for a scattered schedule of various opening times on winter weekends, Luna Park becomes a sedentary relic under grey sky. An old flickering silent tape of the park’s opening in 1912 may as well have been shot yesterday. The white trusses, the curving spine and the quasi-Ottoman spires of the scenic railway appear unchanged. Despite the axing of live dwarf shows due to a changing of social attitudes and various other physical changes, the park has been a part of the scenery as long as any person can remember. Out of the dozens of amusement parks to carry the namesake in every continent except Antarctica, St. Kilda’s Luna Park is the oldest in current existence. Although the first ever Luna Park was built in Coney Island in 1903, this was destroyed by a fire in 1944. The scenic railway is oldest continually operating rollercoaster in the world and the

only one in the Southern Hemisphere that uses a manual breaking system. Operators face the precarious duty of standing between carriages and pulling a break lever at the pit of each towering hump. St. Kilda’s was the first of four Luna Parks built in Australia, of which the only other in current operation is Sydney’s, which shares the shocking moon face, but with heavy eyebrows and a slightly less pallid complexion. Both facades express an image somewhere between the frivolous and the lurid and shocking which amusement park crowds come to expect. St. Kilda’s Face is as old as the park itself, save for a restoration effort in 1999. Sydney’s face is much newer. In its shorter life, the Sydney park has faced more turbulence than St. Kilda. Its shambolic history is ruptured with name and ownership changes, legal battles and perennial closures.

The most shocking misfortune was in 1976 when the ghost train caught fire. It was quickly contained before spreading to other rides, but the ghost train was incinerated. The bodies of six children and one adult were found. After an immediate closure, a coronial inquest found that the park’s managers had failed in their duty of care by understaffing the ghost

train and neglecting to provide sufficient fire protection.

After a number of botched attempts by various tenders to reopen the park, a rally was organised under the collective banner ‘Friends of Luna Park’ from the Sydney Opera House to the Face. The march successfully called for the listing of the Park as a national heritage item and it was reopened in April 1982 under the new name Harbourside Amusement Park after a third round of tenders.

It was closed in 1988. After years of stagnation, the State Government issued the ultimatum to withdraw their lease, reduce the park to rubble and fill the site with high rise apartment blocks, if it were to continue wasting space. In the end, the lease was terminated anyway but the park remained standing until it reopened in 1995, only to close again due to a dismal turnout.

The 2004 reopening was more successful, despite legal action from some nearby residents based on noise concerns, who later attempted to claim over $20 million in damages. History and circumstance have been kinder to St. Kilda Luna Park than to its clone in Sydney. It has remained in the pink financially, its only extended closure was during wartime and its beach front location has not made it the butt

of any major residential grievances.

Although within the Park there has been some chopping and changing, a fire and a takeover by Lindsay Fox in 2005, the scenic railway has always set the parameter, continually functioning and finally undergoing repairs in 2007.

Sitting in O’Donnell Gardens (legally) drinking Irish cider and looking up the splintering truss, which Lindsay Fox has spent millions of dollars restoring to the glory of his childhood like a misplaced Charles Foster Kane, the scale and size of the thing is less impressive than the efforts of its attendants who seem to hang on for dear life. Imagination takes over and premonitions of purple clad lemmings flying from great heights run rampant. Or what happens if they neglect to lever the brakes? Does the entire carriage rattle skyward off the next hump into a starry night and its silhouette pass a full summer moon? Could the entire thing collapse like a pile of Mammoth bones at any minute? The composure of the attendants suggests otherwise. By Tom James Lee read more abour luna park at

EcoCentre in St Kilda

L The Newmarket Hotel


K I admit it. I watch and love Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares. No, not that terrible show where he prances aggressively around a pretend kitchen, yelling at pretend chefs while serving pretend customers. I mean the one where he visits fading restaurants in financial troubles and through hard work with the team ends up saving the restaurant and getting the customers back in the door. Why am I telling you this? Read on dear friend.

One thing Melbourne restaurants do very well is to appear very understated from the outside yet exciting, luxurious, even a bit naughty once you go through the door – think Yu-U in the city where opening the graffiti covered door down a seedy laneway offers a stylish and cool Japanese restaurant. The Newmarket Hotel is another great example where the old pub facade from the Shnitz and Tits days has been kept, yet stepping inside presents you with a LA slash Miami interior complete with bar with bench seating, outdoor bar and eating area and slightly nicer indoor restaurant section with excellent eames inspired chairs. Some acquaintances have labelled the Newmarket slightly pretentious but I disagree – it is certainly quite a classy venue for the enduringly laid back St Kilda, however there is always an occasion that can be found for a bit of glamour. Either that or perhaps I am just pretentious... The bar is well stocked and alongside some great

cocktails and pitchers, there is quite a new feature of wine by the tap. I do not know why more restaurants with a bar focus do not follow this lead – it works so well with large tables and the wine was great quality yet still very reasonably priced. There was also a strong draught beer selection including my current fave of the Cricketers Arms Lager. The service is friendly and efficient for a seemingly always busy place and I always welcome the addition of a host to greet you upon arrival. It is a small touch but really does help. We were seated at the table in the restaurant section with extraordinarily comfortable chairs and presented menus. Back to Gordon - through all the episodes of Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares, there is one process that always seems to result in an improvement to all the featured restaurants... simplify the menu. I could not help thinking this when choosing my meal at The Newmarket. The issue is not that there are too many choices – although there are, it is that I am not even sure how I am supposed to dine. Should we share some dishes in the section called ‘Latin Street Food’? Should we each order a meal from the grill? Do we order the roast which is costed per person or perhaps a combination of all of these? While it is great to offer choice, the menu needs to have a cohesive theme or risk leaving diners confused, potentially ordering too much or not enough and possibly not leaving as satisfied as they could be. That being said, the dishes

on the whole were very good. We started with some slightly confused soft tacos with shredded duck, plum mole (think guacamole but with plums) and a hint of chilli but a great rendition of patatas bravas with crunchy outer casing, soft and fluffy centre and a creamy aioli. We then moved on to the clear highlight of the meal from the roast section - roast chicken with pancetta, beans and radicchio. The chicken was both crispy and moist (very hard to achieve) and the morsels of pancetta and bitter radicchio worked in harmony. Fabulous. By comparison the roast pork loin with mash was fairly bland and strangely about half the portion size. Desserts are done very well at Newmarket and the chocolate and hazelnut torte was rich, sharp and velvety and definitely recommended. Prices at The Newmarket are very fair and for a sexy establishment with good service it is great to see that outings consistently hit the $100 mark per couple – unless you sample the excellent margaritas, in which case you are on your own... The Newmarket is a relatively new venue, opening in December last year which may account for the scattergun approach to the menu, so with some consolidation and focus The Newmarket will grow into yet another St Kilda gem. I am sure Gordon would agree.

MF (with dining companions T. Musta, B. Wave & a cane ball)

ooking for info on how you can green your home, transport and environment? Want to have more influence on government climate policy? Then visit the EcoCentre in St Kilda!

fresh produce from the gardens for just a small donation. People can also volunteer for the EcoCentre, assisting in such activities as the running of the office, IT or helping out at the EcoMarket.

The EcoCentre is located on the edge of the picturesque St Kilda Botanical Gardens on Blessington St, and is a meeting place for all things and people environmental.

The EcoMarket is held at the EcoCentre on the first Sunday of each month, 11am4pm. Activities include barbeques and organic baked food, entertainment such as musicians and kids’ activities, innovative water- and energy-saving technology advice and products for sale, including bags made from recycled material, handmade jewellery and crafts.

The EcoCentre’s manager Bede Doherty describes its mission as “educating the public on how to reduce their carbon footprint and how they can lobby all levels of government and business.” But the EcoCentre is more than an educational tool. It is a warm and welcoming community for people of all ages from St Kilda and beyond. The EcoCentre provides a range of workshops including making your own energy monitoring system (much cheaper than buying one off the shelf) and bike maintenance. There are regular tours tailored for the general public and for primary and secondary school students. One of these tours highlights the energy self-sufficient EcoCentre that Bede Doherty describes as being “retrofitted with solar panels, LED lights and having waste water going into the worm farm, as well compost used on the gardens without the use of any chemicals.” There are tours of the gardens from which visitors can purchase vegetables or herbs. Or they can participate in “cook-ups” using

The EcoCentre acts as an umbrella organisation for various volunteer groups who collect data on waste and litter that they remove from Port Phillip Bay. The data is then analysed scientifically to aid in the lobbying of government. The EcoCentre assists (for a fee) businesses to establish a garden (2 sq m) at their offices, with weekly advice included. Similar assistance is provided to community centres, paid for by the City of Port Phillip Council. The EcoCentre receives 1/3 of its funding from City of Port Phillip Council and the remainder from public donations, grants and corporate sponsorship. Sponsors include Boeing, Holden, Toyota. For more information visit the website at, where you can subscribe to the emailing list and receive regular updates and articles. You can also call 9534 0670. By Greg Fitzgerald

Health Fractured Penis – Urban Myth or Your Worst Nightmare?


nfortunately this is a real condition. However, it is not a true “fracture” as there is no bone in the penis. Instead the “fracture” refers to a rupture of the fibrous covering of the erectile body in the penis. This usually occurs during intercourse when the erect penis accidentally misses the vagina and instead hits the pubic bone. This causes the penis to bend violently, and rupture its fibrous sheath.

This rupture results in intense pain, immediate detumescence (softening) of the penis, and severe swelling. After such an injury the penis is often described as resembling an eggplant! There may even be a gush of blood from the end of the penis at the time of the injury, as one in five cases also results in a tear in the urethra. This can also cause the person to have heavily blood stained urine. Due to the embarrassing nature of the injury, a lot of people delay presenting to their doctor. A fractured penis can lead to impotence, or a curved or bent penis. Further if the urethra is involved, then scar tissue can form in the urethra making urination difficult. Consequently a fractured penis is an emergency and the best results are achieved if surgery is carried out within 24 hours. Should you suffer a fractured penis, then immediate presentation to the Emergency Department is recommended. Dr Dan Spernat

St Kilda Newspaper



A Fun Night Ruined by Comedy Review of ‘Farewell the Sandman’ on Saturday 16 April at the Melbourne Town Hall th

On being given the assignment of going to review a comedian who was apparently a previously well-known TV and Radio comedian, the night should have gone well.


owever, your intrepid reviewer, being new to Melbourne, was directed to collect tickets from the Media Centre. On approach to the ‘Centre’ the sign above the door was massive thus indicating a bustling, expansive room with a few hacks drinking wine beside a busy group of promoters. However, the reality was somewhat different when I pushed through the big heavy wooden doors to a small room with one desk and one computer. I located my tickets and left the ‘media centre’ and drifted towards the bar to make sure there were not too many Bogans heading to the show. Onto the ‘comedy’ and a smallish side room which held around 60 people. It was full of people of a range of genders and ages – they clearly had seen this guy before and they were warming to him. Maybe they wanted to relive past jokes, which took them back a few years to a happier time in their life (the previous years always seem better, don’t they?). The Sandman addresses his audience with a resplendid pink suit albeit a bit tight for this aging comedian. The night starts with The Sandman announcing that this is his farewell tour and after 50 minutes I was wishing that his retiral had started before the show as there was clearly no comedy left in this man. I do not recall ever seeing such a poorly rehearsed show where there was no depth or originality to any of the songs or stories. However, people laughed at

some of the jokes, but I shared a look with my learned friend Molly who gave me a surprised look. ‘This is not funny’ our looks said but others disagreed and that was when I realized that the audience were aficionados of a bygone era – they were willing The Sandman to ‘take me back to when the type of humour that pleased a 13 year old male teenager was funny’. Those were the days but sadly this was not the night. The Sandman told a story of how he was holidaying in Russia sometime ago and was asked to go on a popular Russian breakfast TV show where he played the ‘bumble bee song’ when he was promptly cut to an advert for Vodka. The Sandman noted with some glee that he had embarrassed himself in front of two million viewers but tonight he had improved on that as he only did this in front of 60 ‘viewers’. To finish the evening a hitherto disappointed Dr. Chris and Molly headed round to the Yak Bar where we experienced fantastic pasta dishes and a crème brule to die for. The food was only surpassed by the superbly efficient and courteous service of Miin – if only all restaurants had staff like Miin we would be much more inclined to tip!! The night ended well but not on a funny note. The Sandman is no more and at least, for that, we are thankful. By Dr Chris

A Hole That Needs Plugging The gay club scene has gone through a dramatic, worrying period of change. Let me elaborate for those who are not old timers*


he Peel has gone through a major renovation attracting a crowd more savy and fashionable then the previous crowd, upstairs cruise area and dirty backroom dancefloor, ever did. The Market, which once had a members line as long as the tourist line has suffered a noticeable decline in attendance, the once packed upstairs lounge is now fenced-off most nights, the couches and wall paint all looking the same as it did 5 years ago.

Circuit has burst on the scene, now considered a staple of the scene, when it has as much history as an 18 year old first year fine arts student. The once unique and unique Greyhound Hotel has had a bunch of money thrown at it, including the addition of a new LED logo stratigically placed on its stylishly rendered exterior. The Exchange continues, Heavens Door is a door to a mass of designer, overpriced T-Shirts and top 27 American ITunes downloads. I ask you all, don’t we deserve something new? Something better? With the imminent departure of The Market what does this tell us about the trends and tastes of those that call arse our friend. I see a distinct gap or hole in the scene that needs to be plugged. I cast out the challenge to all you club owners, money launderers, “auntreperners”, rag retailers and high credit rated bar managers!

Let there be a new era, let there be a new club, let there be a hero willing to give us the place we need! I propose a simple brief for you, a list of basic requirements.


Decent Music - Stop playing the anthems of a gay scene that died when Queer as Folk was still on SBS. Some of us listen to the same music straight people do…..Shock!


Design and Style – Please use Love Machine as an example. Spend some money on us you bastards! We’re gay! We like pretty things!!

3 4

Variety - Keep the place evolving, try different things! Throw off tradition, open your arms to the straight dollar!

Safety and Community – Make it friendly, not snobby. Have decent security that likes what they do, engage the venue and its punters instead of lining them up and taking there money. Have pride in what you provide. Perhaps I’m dreaming, perhaps I’m after some unreachable nirvana of gay club bliss. But it used to exist and I have been to venues that have some, if not all of the above, overseas. Our disposable incomes, Friday and Saturday nights are there for the taking! Common Melbourne!

*Those who define themselves as “gay” who are over 25 years old. Please send any comments you may have to


n April 20th Valve released the sequel to their award winning video game of 2007, Portal 2. The original, Portal, takes place in a testing facility created by Aperture Science. The facility seems devoid of all life except for the player and the artificial intelligence that runs everything within’ its walls, GLaDOS. Players must use the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device to teleport themselves and objects around the environment in order to solve a series of puzzles. The game was known as one of the most original games of 2007 and won several awards. Portal 2 follows in its predecessor’s footsteps with the same game play mechanics but also introduces a more diverse story, new characters, and many new tools to help you solve the puzzles set before you. Set many many years after the events of the first game, Portal 2 starts off with the player awakening from a long sleep in suspended animation by one of the new characters Wheatley. The Aperture Science testing facility lies in ruin; overrun by plant life and falling apart. This setting of destruction and abandonment is new for the Portal series (usually having everything nice and clean) and can make for some beautiful looking environments and tests that can be so difficult that you’ll probably end up with several snapped game discs.

But Portal 2 isn’t just well designed puzzles, an enthralling story, and hilarious jokes. There’s also scientific beauty around every corner… The games graphics have been improved since the last installment in the series making it a very nice game to look at and of course play. Being overrun by plant life and destruction the environments needed to be worked on to look just right for the player, and it’s obvious that Valve have put in the effort to make

If you’ve heard or seen anything about Portal 2 before reading this you should already know a big part of this sequel is the newly introduced cooperative game mode where players control two robots designed by GLaDOS; Atlas and P-body. The co-op mode of Portal 2 introduces players to a new story and the ability to play multiplayer in a Portal game. But an even bigger surprise within the co-op mode is the Playstation 3 and PC/MAC’s version; where players can interact in cross platform chat and play together via Valves gaming software Steam (originally only available to PC/MAC users). Cross platform gaming like this is a new and exciting thing to players and game developers alike, hopefully we will see more games taking on cross platform compatibility from now on. Unfortunately the Xbox 360 version of Portal 2 does not have cross platform gaming via Steam, but luckily all console versions have two player local split screen and online multiplayer. Cooperative game play is an excellent addition to the series; delivering much more gaming hours and the entertainment of playing with another person. So overall the long awaited and highly anticipated Portal 2 was worth the wait; it improves on basically everything the original Portal was lacking along with adding a few more of its own pieces. The graphics are wonderful, the sound is great, and the story is fantastic. Portal 2 is definitely the game to own if you love your puzzle games. It’s time to start thinking with portals… again! Rating: 4/5

By Josh Pettit

St Kilda, my first home.


hances are if you live in St Kilda you do so for the lifestyle, and if you’ve picked up this paper whilst on a visit to St Kilda and are now sitting back reading it in your living room in Caroline Springs, chances are you wish you lived in St Kilda for the lifestyle too!

I grew up in the Northern suburbs of Melbourne where there’s nothing to do, and even less to make you want to stay. So I kissed mums cooking goodbye and spent most of my adult life in London where there’s loads of stuff to do, especially if you like drinking, luckily for me I love drinking so I never thought I’d leave. Then a couple of years ago I married, nothing much changed at first but then the baby talk started and before I knew it the decision was made that we move back to Melbourne and start a family.

years” plan has turned into the “how-do-weafford-a-larger-property-in-St Kilda” plan. My wife and I still look at each other sometimes and burst out a, ‘it’s like being on holiday!’ I know some people out there will turn their nose up at that comment, but I’ve spent the last decade holidaying on crowded Mediterranean beaches so St Kilda beach to me, is world class, and only 15 minutes from work to boot! St Kilda has something to offer everyone, and if it’s not already on offer someone is always on hand to give it a go. From Yoga on the beach to hard core live music and just about everything in between St Kilda’s got it covered, and as your new lifestyle columnist I make it my duty to travel the ends of St Kilda to find the best of it for you! By Hilton Garcia

By luck more than fine judgement we bought our first property in St Kilda and now call it home. We love the St Kilda lifestyle, so much so that our original “let’s-try-it-for-a-couple-of-

Sun 1st - Luke McD & Guest / Wasabi Thur 5th - Ships Piano & guest King Gizzard & the Wizard Lizard... Fri 6th - Headspace Sat 7th -Feed Your Mokie / The Madness Method Sun 8th - Luke McD & Guest / N.F.A. Thur 12th - I, A Man & guests Fri 13th - Headspace Sat 14th - Dead Man on Deck / Cashmir Club / Dirty F

your gaming experience one of beauty. It also sounds wonderful; whether you’re jumping through puddles, plunging to your death, shooting portals under those adorable turrets, or just playing with lasers, Portal 2 delivers some wonderful sound to pull you in.

Sun 15th - Luke McD & Guest / DJ Drew Thur 19th - Dan & Bosma’s Psychedelic Mistletone Fri 20th - Headspace Sat 21st - Jaspora Sun 22nd - Luke McD & Guest / N.F.A. Thur 26th - Jet Boys (Jap) & guests Fri 27th - Headspace Sat 28th - Dr Mojo Sun 29th - Luke McD & Guest / Secret Act St Kilda Newspaper

Lifestyle “Hamish had his first haircut today!”

pawdicures, massages and luxurious spa packages.

“I’m going to pick up Hamish’s birthday cake for his party tonight.”

Not only are more of us living with pets, but they are becoming increasingly incorporated into our lifestyles. An example of this trend is the emergence of style-conscious pet owners who now seek out versatile and innovative products that complement instead of compete with their own interiors and personal style. Design stores such as 4M on High Street in Prahran offer a small range of high end contemporary pet products alongside their designer furniture, objects and home-wares. These products include collars and bowls by famed British fashion designer Paul Smith and modern acrylic pet diners and designer beds by local brand Petish ( au) who specialise in producing luxury, high quality designs with an emphasis on pleasing aesthetics to suit just about any décor.

“Hamish goes to day care while I’m at work.”



e would ordinarily attribute these sorts of comments to proud, beaming parents talking about their beloved children. I can personally attest though, that all these comments actually came from a close friend of mine, a newlywed with no children. Her ‘son’ Hamish is in fact a very lucky little schnauzer! Yes, a dog! But this type of scenario is not entirely unusual, in fact these days there appears to be a whole new breed of pampered, furry ‘children’ being raised in St Kilda and inner city Melbourne, our precious pets! Many professional and retired couples are opting for pets as a substitute for children, dogs and cats in particular are seen as part of the family, and are being treated as such (in some cases even better)! Pet image has been changing remarkably and the relationship between pets and their owners is becoming more intense and humanised. Locally, there is no shortage when it comes to the availability of petfriendly services and products. Luxury pet hotels and doggy day care were once unheard of but are now commonplace (inclusive of all the amenities a human could ever ask for!). Times have evolved significantly and grooming businesses have extended their services to include manicures and

7 And if after all this shopping and pampering your furry friend needs a little break, there are plenty of pet friendly eateries and doggy bakeries in the area offering a delectable assortment of doggy treats ranging from puppy petit fours and doggy doughnuts to poochachinos and of course little Hamish’s personal favourite, the classic puppalatte! By Grace Lourenco

The Chiyo Bed from PETISH. PHOTO by Paul Barber

Discerning owners are also constantly on the lookout for the latest, straight off the international runways of Pet Fashion Week, luxury readyto-wear pet fashions and accessories. Puppy Phat located on Barkly Street in St Kilda is one example of a local pet “boutique” catering for the modern inner city animal and boasts an impressive array of beauty and fashion products.



ou may have lived and survived or are currently residing in a St.Kilda rooming house. There are many reasons why this may be, including adverse personal circumstances, a lack of affordable housing or failing to successfully run the gamut of real estate agents in a highly competitive market. Rooming houses usually provide single room accommodation with shared facilities. They can be privately owned and managed or publicly owned community housing, catering for low income tenants. There is a mix of short and long term residents with a large percentage staying more than five years. All rooming houses with 4 or more people should be registered under the Victorian Health Act 1958 and undergo council inspections. Like an endangered species, rooming house numbers have been declining. Post war St.Kilda had a reputation as Melbournes red light district and many low rent rooming


houses were to be found. Between the late 1950’s and 1992 the City of Port Phillip lost approximately 563 rooming houses, most of these in the St.Kilda area. Gentrification has lent a hand to this decline as well as impacting on the “bohemian” culture of St.Kilda. It’s not easy being an artist, writer or musician struggling with ever increasing rents. Diversity and creativity makes a suburb like St.Kilda, with a colourful history an interesting and desirable place to live. Rooming houses contribute to some of these aspects of the community. Whilst some are more reminiscent of the infamous Chelsea Hotel others are more sedately run though not without dramas and challenges at times. The caretaker of the rooming house I lived in performs numerous roles. He deals with the owners and helps new tenants move in and out. Sometimes tenants leave overnight without paying what they owe and disputes occur which test his patience. He likes to help and

give advice to tenants when they need it and sometimes when they don’t, though he means well. Occasionally the unexpected happens such as when one tenants pet snakes tank started a fire in their room. No trace of the snake was ever found. The rooming house I stayed in provided much needed accommodation for up to eleven people. For some they are a choice, offering more independence than a shared house and you don’t have to share rent and expenses. Living in a St.Kilda rooming house gives you the experience of meeting a diverse range of people; they are real melting pots of this community. A fellow tenant once told me that he had seen and heard more than enough to write a great book and I would agree. By Melissa Sweeney

The Daily Commute When asked to participate in the 2011 run for the kids I jumped at the opportunity, signing up for the 5k immediately.

All the thoughts of failure welled, who runs this distance for fun? Remember it’s for the kids.

suction by aching lungs chasing as much fuel as possible to strain through the next stride.

Commencing a strict training regime, as a seasoned cyclist I soon was realising the benefits of the last few years of cycling on my body, shortened hamstrings, instead of the long gazelle like Carl Lewis strides I expected from the elite athlete I had become, I found myself struggling to keep stride with Cliff Young’s shuffle, and as for distance let’s just say I was better off entering the 100 metre dash than the 5k, with my first run lasting about 1km rather than the goal 5km’s. The 2011 run for the kids run was not going to defeat me, so a route was chosen and away I went 3 times a week trying to better my distance each run, sometimes with a little success and a realization that what was put in the night before had an effect on my performance for the following day, i.e. fish, chips and beer, not the best preparation….

Arriving at the big day, an air of excitement had gripped the crowd, I unleashed my secret weapon to help me across the line, the Orange Morph Suit, a top to toe full body cover reminiscent of Cathy Freemans famous running suit from the 2000 Sydney Olympics, the only difference beside the striking figure of an athlete that Cathy cut compared to my developmental figure was that her designers were kind enough to include a place for her face.

Somewhere around or after the 9 k mark, the mood lifted, not only because the finish line was looming but the Nike power song “eye of the tiger” echoed through the backstreets of Docklands it was just the lift all the athletes needed to drive them home, a final charge of realisation that we are nearly there and we have made a difference to not only the children of the royal children’s hospital, but for many it was a realisation that they had made a difference.

The laughter, comments of awe and doubt that I would make the distance without being able to breath properly through the constraints of the face cover, all morphed like the suit into an inspiration to drive me forward to reach the finish line goal 14.38 k’s.

Crossing the line with thousands of my now closest friends which they would have to be after seeing me shining in what can only be described as greater visual pollution than any of my cycling outfits, the morph suit had served its purpose, I’d made it; 14.38k’s and so had 20,000 other likeminded individuals all challenging themselves to the finish line.

As I trained some of my friends started to join me on some of my runs, the suggestion that 5k was well within my capabilities and really I should be signed up for an actual challenge 14.38ks!!!! As crazy as the notion sounded, the challenge was accepted with an air of distance doubt resinating. Time to amp up the training, still 3 times a week, but now it was a long run on the weekend 1 lap of the tan 3.8k, turned into 2 laps 7.6k, and finally 3 laps 11.4k. Still nowhere near the required 14.38k, is the moment going to pull me through another 3 k’s? is that enough?

Technology corner

As with any major event in most people’s lives, the pressure of a toilet break loomed, but with the full body suit on there was no time to undress and redress again before the race began, and honestly I had lost my close friends that had assisted me to get into the suit to begin with, I was stuck burdened with a full bladder for the duration of the next 14.38k’s. After a false start we were away, laughs and presumably awe followed me for the first 3-4 k as people passed they would laugh, make comment and offer encouragement, but the further into the run I moved it was clear that although fun, it was hard work, the comments stopped coming and a silence only broken by the pounding of rubber on road and the heavy

By Drazen Klaic


At the end of the day it’s the result of your actions that define the person you are, and your impact on the world, there is a shift in the air, remember respect yourself, the road and other commuters no matter how big or small, at the end of the day we all want to get to our destination. Smile, enjoy the ride, who knows who you’ll meet. Mr. Corbs

SITE SEARCH The word “site” followed by a colon enables you to restrict your search to a specific site. To do this, use the, {search item} “site”: {site name}, syntax in the Google search box. For example, to find AFL results information on HeraldSun’s website:

elcome to the inaugural publication of Technology Corner. This section of St. Kilda News is devoted to providing useful insights, tips and tricks for using today’s Enter: technology, simplified for the layperson. In particular, the articles will attempt to enlighten and explain technology that is used everyday. Specifically, it will focus in providing Result: The Herald-Sun links restricted to AFL helpful tips and unraveling any confusion that many of us may have with the technology that information are displayed. has become a significant part of our daily lives. To start with, our first article features a brief MOVIE SHOWTIMES description of various tips using the Google search engine. To find movie showtimes, enter the word “movies” 100 The name, Google, is derived from the word googol, which is the large number, 10 , that is, the digit 1 followed by 100 zeroes as follows:

10,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,00 0,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 Google has implemented many useful built-in features that enable quick access to items, which would otherwise require more time consuming browsing for the relative websites. I have provided a description of 5 useful items built into Google, which even regular users may not know about:

LOCAL SEARCH If you’re looking for a store, restaurant, or other local business you can search for the category of business and the location and we’ll return results right on the page, along with a map, reviews, and contact information. Enter: Italian restaurant st.kilda Result: Displays all website links regarding Italian restaurants in St. Kilda, including their description, location, reviews and map.

LINKS TO YOU The query link:<site URL> shows you pages that point to that URL.

Enter: followed by the name of the region, in the Google Result: List of all websites search box. This will display a showtimes (of the region) that point to the that link at the top of the results page. Click on the link to website. view the showtimes. TRACK FLIGHTS Enter: movies St.Kilda To check flight status of arriving and departing flights, enter the name of the airline followed by the flight number in the search box. Result: The link to the website, “Showtimes for St. Kilda VIC” is displayed at the top Enter: qantas 10 of the results page. Result: The link to the website, “Track status of Qantas Airways flight 10” is displayed at the top of the results page.

St Kilda Newspaper



Shopper’s Paradise

By Simona Nizzari


t Kilda is one of Melbourne’s best known fashion hubs with local designers, shops and a variety of clothing unlike anywhere else in Melbourne. One needs to simply stroll down the main precincts such as Acland St or Fitzroy St and be immediately absorbed into the fashion frenzy of vibrant colours, wacky hemlines and bold prints. The plethora of choice is amazing, with shops flittered in the adjoining streets of Blessington and surrounds. The general fashion vibe in St Kilda is a mixed one, with the majority of shops catering for all tastes from the eccentric to the conservative, young and oldregardless of age there is something for everyone. Starting at Acland and Barkly Streets is Corner Closet, a funky fashion-house that caters to all with the latest in trendy designs it is the first stop on the road to style. The store’s speciality is their knitted hats and beanies, an essential for this forthcoming winter, warming the heads of tourists and locals alike. Opening the closet doors one will find the very latest in European brands such as ‘Oxygen’ and ‘Bauhaus’ nestled amongst the racks, “everyone finds something here”

says owner Leanne Spruce. Well known among the ever growing tourist and interstate community, Leanne says her great-priced clothing is an absolute hit with the visitors.

both are tempting. Contrasting swirls of colour meshed with a diverse range of textured fabrics emulate the “local flavour” of the countries these clothes are sought from says owner Alan Cartmell.

Time to accessorise- head straight to Ecléctico on Acland with a mixture of tribal jewellery and handcrafted Mexican silver there are no limits to what you can find here. The beckoning sound of drums and instrumental music carry you up the stairs and the delightful smell of freshly brewed tea greets travellers on their shopping expedition. Then it hits you- the intensity of the colours, the abundance of choice, be it fashion or jewellery

There was something about Ana-Carolina Biasol’s swimsuits that turned the temperature up a notch on a cold April night.





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he 22 year old designer launched her luxurious swimwear and resort label Grandezza along side Christianna Heideman’s latest jewellery collection Damsellfly, as part of a charity event at St Kilda’s thriving venue, Secret Garden. Held on Sunday the 17th of April, the event aimed to raise funds for Y GAP, a Melbourne based not-for-profit organization helping to hinder the progression of human trafficking in the developing world. The designer’s glamorous resort swimwear was echoed through the decor of the St Kilda venue. “I decided to do the Launch at Secret Garden because it is an amazing venue. With all the day beds and the greenery I couldn’t think of a better option.” Biasol said. De


When choosing which charity to collaborate with, Biasol couldn’t look past Y GAP, who she believes has a significant and extremely important cause and does not get enough support. “I think it is extremely important for organizations and companies to support important causes. I think the world would be a much better place if more important designers, organizations and companies came together to help amazing causes and raised money” Biasol said. Keeping in line with the ‘Freedom’ theme, the charity event was organized in its entirety for free. The models volunteered their time, the venue kept the cover charge at zero and the event was even sponsored by Free energy drink, which was catered to Designer Ana Carolina Biasol and Free Energy Girls all guests for free.

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See more photos at

Damsellfly designer Christianna Heideman and Free Energy Girls

See more photos at

A Dress Too Tight Diary of a Bride by Ranger Zippy


Amongst the crowd was international model Kate Peck who showed her support for YGAP by attending on the night after recently coming back from visiting a number of developing projects in Africa for the organization. So, what do you get when you mix the likes of beautiful models, fresh faced designers, free booze and an eager crowd? A very successful night for both designers and charity alike.

All clothing is sourced outside of China- in Nepal, Peru, Brazil and Spain, just to name a few, and certainly adds some flair to the local fashion scene. The look in St Kilda is a unique and quirky mix catering to all types; expect to find outrageous coats, flamboyant scarves and mittens in summer.Fashion never sleeps in St Kilda- every Sunday the St Kilda Esplanade hosts the arts and crafts market where you can find other fashion rarities (or oddities) to add to your overflowing wardrobe. Whether you’re a tourist, local or just passing through, St Kilda has all sorts to offer when it comes to fashion making it definitely worth a visit, make sure to wear comfy shoes, if not you’ll be sure to find some there!


Wedding date: Saturday 17th September Venue: Historic Homestead Budget: as cheap as possible Husband to be: The editor This months mission: WEDDING DRESS SHOPPING

ast Saturday was my first day at wedding dress shopping. I was very excited as I have never done this before and was looking forward to trying to find “the dress”. The one that suits me so perfectly `that as soon as I put it on I know I have found it. It flatters in all the right places and lets my boobs look beautiful but not slutty or like they are going to fall out. My destination was High St Armidale and I was going to look at some of the most expensive shops around. I had my mother and two sisters with me, lets call them Sue and Betty Sara. The two people in the world who are happy to tell me that I look tacky/ugly/like my muffin top is looking especially large in those cheap jeans, even when I am not asking. As sisters do. I had got up early to wash my hair, but no makeup in case it stained the dress. I had my coffee and we were ready to go. I picked some dresses I liked and laughed at the ones I thought only a blind woman with no knowledge of fashion would buy (and there were plenty of those). I stripped off in the fitting room and put on my tight Bridget Jones underpants. I was handed the first perfect dress and stepped into it and…. It would not even fit over my hips. I had to lift it over the top. Now don’t get me wrong, I am not a little woman. I have some nice curves and child baring hips that some might covet

You’ve Been Snapped 2

Jessie Obel & Olivia Iayani Jessie's favourite item she has on is her top which she made herself and Olivia loves her boots. (See pic 1)

Jennifer Watson Favourite item of clothing is her jacket. (See pic 4)


Sahra Beckham from the Ishka Store, Acland Street. (See pic 2) Sahra loves her ring. (See pic 3)


but I would call myself normal. Maybe on the larger side of normal but still normal. The dress they had given me to try on was a size 8. There was no larger size to try on. Only two dresses in the shop that were larger then a size 12. This was the same with every other shop in the street. Now I know that they may not want fatties in their dresses but this is ridiculas. The whole day I had to squeeze into dresses that were so small half my back was falling out and they could not zip it up at all. There is no way you can get an idea of how the dress is going to fit in my size when the seam, which is meant to be at the sides of a dress, is running down the front of my nipples and what is meant to be a cup for the breast is about a quarter the size of what I have. Hear is a noval idea. Why don’t they get the average size of a woman and let people try that on. If it is too big for those little sticks of woman at least they can still get into it and have someone hold the back. It would fit far more customers and would not humiliate quite so many people. I thought the point of this all was trying to sell wedding dresses from your shop to as many people as possible, not just anorexic models. Perhaps there is room for one of these in St Kilda? Now I did find a dress I am happy to say, it was luckly one of the designs they did have in a size 12 so I could get a good idea of how it will fit me. And it was a great price to because my mum is going to copy it. Lets just hope it works!

By Anja Barisic & Simona Nizzari

4 Nada Cordasic Who says "I love my Sass and Bide top". (See pic 5)

5 St Kilda Newspaper

Kylie Baudino with some of her leading ladies – the stars of her upcoming exhibition at Jackman Gallery, LIQUID REFLECTIONS, May 4 – 22.

Artist Profile: Kylie Baudino

Having lived and worked in St Kilda since 2008, Kylie Baudino has made a significant contribution to the local Arts Community. Working both as a sculptor and more recently as a painter, she has made the inclusion of community an intrinsic component of her work on multiple levels. Being particularly interested in two Japanese art concepts; ‘Ma’, the idea that ‘negative space’ (unoccupied space between components, often thought of in the West in negative, rather than constructive terms) is as much a contributor to a piece as ‘occupied’ or ‘positive space’, and ‘Notan Ga’, the idea of using intersecting ‘Ma’ to create a new positive space. Kylie has worked in multiple mediums to use the negative space between the components of her surroundings to form the structural basis for her works. It took this columnist an hour of conversation and several hours of researching on the net to get my head around it, so to save y’all some time – Kylie has a good look at where stuff isn’t and creates works that comment on that, rather than thinking about the space that will be filled by a future creation already in mind. My head hurt. So after a cup of tea, a Bex, and a lie down, I went for a walk. Whilst wandering around our lovely village, I got to thinking about where stuff isn’t and realized with some delight that there’s heaps of it. Isn’t is everywhere. But in order to appreciate all this absence, you have to be extremely aware of all the framing around it. I started noticing stuff everywhere. I found some isn’t in a crack in the wall of the laneway next to Monarch Cakes running behind Woolworths. While considering whether it was actually empty, or whether the presence of a bunch of Oxygen and Nitrogen atoms actually made it something, I noticed some nails in the wall, a graff piece I hadn’t noticed before, some of that spiky stuff that keeps pigeons off signs, a wonky wheel on a bin (yeah, where’s ya wheely bin?) and several other bits and pieces that made me feel like I knew our Lady St Kilda just a little better. I felt that I finally understood what Kylie meant when she said she includes a lot of the community in her work, and more importantly, I believed her. Growing up in Queensland and always having been a bit of an ‘art nerd’ at high school, Kylie says she always had planned to make a career out art, but that she needed to go test herself in a more pragmatic way first. Completing a Batchelor of Business at QLD University, she worked in Sales and Customer Service management roles, mostly at small to medium IT companies for around 7 years. Towards the end of this time, she decided that she had proven the ‘real world’ point to herself and it was now time to see if she had the commitment to pursue a career in art, with the often solitary and financially

Arts& Artists inconsistent life that entails. So what does our girl do? (I’m liking her more and more as I write this.) She lobs off to Spain to undertake a 780km traditional pilgrimage… on foot. Called the Camino de Santiago de Compostela, the route starts in the lowlands of south west France and winds it’s way up into and through the Pyranees into the high tablelands of Spain, finishing at Santiago, where the bones of St James the Apostle rest. Apparently St James was a big believer in “walk your talk”, being one of the apostles who told Jesus that he was ready ‘to drink from the same cup’ and accept martyrdom. Before doing this, however, he spent several years preaching on the Iberian (Spanish) Peninsula, before returning to Jerusalem to accept his fate. His remains were returned to Spain, where the shrine now stands. Not being particularly religious, Kylie felt simply that a hike of that magnitude would give her both the time to meditate on the other journey she was to undertake, and if she completed it, the self-confidence to do what it took to achieve her desired art destination. There is however, a certain aptness in the choice of journey given St James’ personal credo. When the hike ended, Kylie actually wanted to continue. The locals, who are great supporters of the pilgrims, said essentially: “Ah, but it is only the end of one Camino. Now you are ready for the next one, knowing you are able.” On returning to Australia, Kylie enrolled in and completed a Batchelor of Fine Art (Visual Arts) from Griffith University, where she won the University Medal for Academic excellence in her graduating year of ‘05. Obviously the Camino worked. Working in sculpture until around the end of ’09, Kylie exhibited frequently and also created some more public pieces that locals may be familiar with. Spatial Discussions is such a piece. For a couple of months in ’09 the Dog’s Bar was home to the work, which drew on the inspiration of the growth of conversations had by the many patrons within the bar itself. Says Kylie: “I often feel that the conversations build, ebb and flow until they spill over exploding into laughter and energetic exchange. This notion is represented by the spilling of the lines of conversation over the building’s facade exploding into giant blooms, above the doors that welcome you to experience the inherent nature of this space.”` Having worked within the Shakespeare Grove Studio Artists since ’08, Kylie has both exhibited in and written for their annual exhibition. As it happens, the next annual exhibition, entitled ‘Between Sea and Sky’ is coming up in May at Bright Space gallery just off Carlisle St. (See the ‘What’s On’ guide in this edition for more details) A previous inclusion of this exhibition, ‘Growth’, is more indicative of her interest in ‘Notan Ga’. Using negative space between the dead tree branches, combined with the negative space of barren flowerpots (or more accurately, their bases), she creates a new positive in growth (hence the name) of ‘foliage’ in otherwise dead trees. The piece also explores the concept of negative intersection more literally, with both the pieces of foliage in the trees and the pieces of the flowerpot shrub in the foreground being actually linked together.


beautiful portraits that literally express themselves to the artist as they are painted, rather than ‘be created’. Rather than look at the upcoming exhibition as a daunting volume of work as a whole to be completed , Kylie viewed it as 13 ‘coffee dates’ with various outrageous, capable, vulnerable, mad, fragile and soft women who she ‘interviews’ on paper as they reveal themselves to her. Come meet these ladies in ink – I’ve had the privilege, and they are quite simply stunning. Kylie’s third collection in this medium, LIQUID REFLECTIONS will be on exhibition at the Jackman Gallery, 60 Inkerman St, between the 4th and the 22nd of May. Opening night is Thursday the 4th between 6:30pm an 8:30pm. This columnist will be there. Kylie Baudino – the thinking person’s, nay, theoretical physicist’s artist. By Aaron Webb

THE COLOUR CLEAR “This is the big time for us” Adrian Trinchera bass player of The Colour Clear informs me as we sit in The Basement’s Green Room, an hour before the bands first gig at The Espy. “St Kilda is Victoria’s version of California – it’s groovy”.

The four piece Geelongbased band The Colour Clear (which includes Melbourne born-and-raised Nicholas Hagger) know this is the largest location they have played in since the band formed a few years ago. The Espy has become something of a Mecca for local Aussie artists trying to spread their music to the world, and lead singer Matt Biscombe knows that “all the major bands play here”. The band consists of Matt Biscombe on vocals and electric guitar, Nicholas Hagger on keys and acoustic guitar, Luke Chapman on drums and Adrian Trinchera on bass. The band began playing mainly in underground venues (which included a farm house and a laundrette), before moving onto The Bended Elbow in Geelong, which broke the record for the number of tickets sold for a local artist. They’ve now released a debut self-titled EP which was recorded within a day and half, and is described as an alternative/pop/rock piece. Quite a mixture of genres for a debut EP with five tracks, but the band says they’re like Captain Planet. The fusion of sound creates a style of music that reflects an element of each band member. “We all listen to different music” Matt tells me, “Chappie (Luke) over here listens to Guns N Roses,”

“- and Matt listens to The Beatles” Adrian adds. It turns out that he is a metal fan himself, whilst Nick is obsessed with local artist De Jah Groove. “So what do you guys want from this? What’s the ultimate goal?” I ask once we’re all seated comfortably on the leather couches and chairs in the Green Room.

“World domination!” Matt says with a laugh. When I push a bit further to see if the boys are genuinely looking for something which would cement them in the music industry like a record deal, Matt insists “it’s not essential. But if someone came up to me and said ‘hey – I want to make more and distribute your stuff... I’d say sure!” Nick on the other hand, has touring on his mind. “I want to tour man, all around Australia or Victoria.”

their show consists of a bunch of people hanging back with drinks in their hand watching from the bar. There are a few toe-tappers and even a few extroverted girls who don’t seem to care they’re the only two people in the whole room dancing. Once the band finishes a few songs, Matt speaks to the crowed. “You know, you can all come a little closer – we don’t bite”. Everyone inches a bit closer and after a bit of persuasion The Colour Clear have managed to get a decent crowed dancing and enjoying their local music. There’s only one problem tonight – they’ve forgotten to bring copies of their EP. “If you like any of our music, you can buy our EP.... We forgot to bring it, but we will get you one!” Matt insists. Luckily with the age of social networking getting their name and music out there has been a lot easier with websites such as Facebook and Myspace.

The ambition of The Colour Clear is apparent, whilst the band set up their gear for their 45 minute set at The ““It’s all about networking” Espy, the band’s manager Matt stressed. “It gives us a Erin Marshall tells me of wider audience... it gives us their high expectations when a chance to contact other it came to finding a venue bands and businesses.” in Melbourne. “I was on the phone with Matt, and I “And like The Espy” Nick said, was like – okay, you wanna “It’s.... f*cked, it’s huge!” play in Melbourne, give me Despite a few blimps suggestions as to what kind along the way, The Colour of venues you’d like. So Matt Clear has managed to add says, ‘um.... Etihad stadium?” themselves to the list of I told them we had to think local bands who have made smaller” she said. their mark on The Espy. The band start to warm up The Colour Clear are on and are already drawing a Facebook and Myspace small crowd of onlookers or can be reached at and some friends who made thecolourclear@hotmail. it to watch the show, while com Matt introduces the band. By Samantha Lenkic Like most local bands that play original music, their samantha@stkildanews. crowd for the first half of com

My head hurts again, and apologies to the artist if I’ve omitted some conceptual concerns. More recently, Kylie has been turning her attention to the two-dimensional, recognizing that these concepts are just as easy to explore in 2D, and also having a penchant for paper and ink. By consistently using the ‘double negative’ approach to her painting, she has created a series of hauntingly St Kilda Newspaper


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