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What is Social Anxiety? Social anxiety manifests in a lot of different ways. You may be shy with new people, but fine with old friends. You may do well at work, but dread parties. You may not even identify your anxiety as social. It may just feel like "free floating anxiety." But you notice that it feels better when you are alone or with someone you feel close to. In some cases, the anxiety can become so intense that it causes panic attacks. People with severe or chronic symptoms may be diagnosed with Social Phobia or Avoidant Personality Disorder. However, the majority of people with social anxiety have distress that, while uncomfortable, is not that severe. Social Anxiety at Work Social Anxiety can limit your ability to be successful at work. This is especially true in careers that require giving presentations or "selling yourself." And getting a job can be particularly painful because of the interview process. Social Anxiety and Romance Dating and social situations are another area that can cause great discomfort for those with social anxiety. The fear of looking silly, dumb, embarrassed or boring can makes shy people very uncomfortable. When other people sense that discomfort, they back away - reinforcing whatever negative beliefs the shy person has about him/herself. Social Anxiety and Addiction A large percentage of people struggling with addictions have social anxiety as an underlying issue. Often, the drinking or drug use begins as a way to feel more relaxed in social situations. And then, because it works, people continue using substances to cope with the anxiety. After a while, addiction takes hold, and the problem becomes recovery. So many recovering alcoholics and addicts find that once they are sober, "all these feelings" come up. And they don't know how to manage them. A lot of addictions are hidden. Some people eat compulsively to numb their anxiety. Some spend hours watching TV or playing computer games. Some people work excessively. Others exercise fanatically. These are not true addictions in that there is no physiological dependence on a substance. But the behaviors still serve to distract and numb anxiety as well as to avoid situations which may heighten discomfort. Social Anxiety and Depression


People with social anxiety often avoid situations that are uncomfortable. As a result, they may feel lonely, inadequate or like they are failing to reach their goals. When these feelings accumulate over time, depression and low self-esteem can result. What causes social anxiety? Research tells us that social anxiety runs in families and may have a biological component. Most clients I work with describe having one or both parents who are overly critical, judgmental or perfectionistic. It appears that as children, we internalize our parents' judgment and then try to hide or compensate for the traits we perceive as "flawed."

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