Page 1

The Official PL Dating Report pullingladies.com PL


Copyright Š 2010-2011 PL Published by FastPencil, Inc. 3131 Bascom Ave. Suite 150 Campbell CA 95008 USA (408) 540-7571 (408) 540-7572 (Fax) info@fastpencil.com http://www.fastpencil.com PL does not claim that any advice or statement is accurate. This work is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License. To view a copy of this license, visit http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-ncnd/3.0/us/ or send a letter to Creative Commons, 171 Second Street, Suite 300, San Francisco, California, 94105, USA. The Publisher makes no representations or warranties with respect to the accuracy or completeness of the contents of this book and specifically disclaim any implied warranties of merchantability or fitness for a particular purpose. Neither the publisher nor author shall be liable for any loss of profit or any commercial damages. First Edition


Contents The Alpha Male ..................................... 1 Chapter 2 Dating Mindset ..................................... 9 Chapter 3 Belief ................................................ 15 Chapter 4 Confidence ........................................ 23 Chapter 5 Action .............................................. 31 Chapter 6 Location ............................................ 37 Chapter 7 Conversation ...................................... 41 Chapter 8 Free Online Dating ............................... 51 Chapter 9 Dating Facts ....................................... 61 Chapter 10 Moving Forward .................................. 65 Chapter 1


1 The Alpha Male Becoming and alpha male: The definition and expression behind “alpha male� is: In social animals, the alpha is the individual in the community with the highest rank. Where one male and one female fulfil this role, they are referred to as the alpha pair (the term varies when several females fulfil this role – it is extremely rare among mammals for several males to fulfill this role with one female). Other animals in the same social group may exhibit deference or other symbolic signs of respect particular to their species towards the alpha.

1


2

The Official PL Dating Report

The alpha animals are given preference to be the first to eat and the first to mate; among some species they are the only animals in the pack allowed to mate. Other animals in the community are usually killed or ousted if they violate this rule. The term “alpha male” is sometimes applied to humans to refer to a man who is powerful through his courage and a competitive, goal-driven, “take charge” attitude. With their bold approach and confidence “alpha males” are often described as charismatic. While “alpha males” are often overachievers and recognized for their leadership qualities, their aggressive tactics and competitiveness can also lead to resentment by others. Every guy wants to be the alpha male: First mating rights is naturally a big attraction. But human society and rules makes the process of becoming the alpha male difficult to pinpoint for many men… Most guys believe that if they make a lot of money they will immediately become the alpha male… not true Others believe that becoming a famous actor or sports star will give them automatic rights to alpha status. Both are right to some degree: It is clear that women are drawn to leaders and dominant players in society…


The Alpha Male

3

But how does joe average become and alpha male without rock star status or a Bentley Continental GT?

To discover how to become and alpha male first you must understand what makes women REALLY go for certain men. We have all one been astonished at least ONCE in our life at some of the choices that hot women make. Perhaps they have chosen that weird geeky guy or the dumb jock instead or you (the nice caring guy that will treat them well). A guy called Jhon Alexander has apparently been studying this for the past 4 years and as a result moved from a timid depressed guy who never got laid to a real alpha male figure. How did joe average Jhon Alexander go from having to work hard for every lay to literally having women approaching him time after time? He suddenly found himself in “cant miss� situations with women without trying while unknowingly pressing their emotional turn on buttons. He told me he was genuinely confused as to why more guys are not using these alpha male techniques to attract women.


4

The Official PL Dating Report

Sex with a college professor… I’d been fantasizing about my twenty-something college professor for two semesters, but she couldn’t even remember my name. 8 days after I got your material she handed me a note asking me to stay after class. When I got to her office she locked the door and practically raped me! John you are like my f**king guardian angel. I have had sex with 3 different girls in t he last 5 days. He was confused as to why he was all of a sudden attracting women because he didn’t change: His basic personality His annual income His looks And he wasn’t even experienced with the art of seduction or sexuality when he started hooking up with women. Jhon Alexander was Joe Average yet he was pulling attractive, emotionally stable women left right and centre. What changed?


The Alpha Male

5

The alpha male concept is almost like a transition from boy to man. The sad thing is most “men” still act like boys. They never grew up emotionally. Most men are emotional wastelands - they are just unable to connect with a women and give them the emotional stimulation required to trigger attraction and love. Joe Average Jhon Alexander applied “underground” psychological principals he discover during research to change how he thought about the whole game. He discovered that a few easy mindset changes could accelerate anyone’s success with women despite their current physical, emotional or financial status. What that means is that it doesn’t matter if you’re a fat 56 year old guy living at home with no job, YOU can still have success with women and dating. BUT First you need to work on yourself… It should take less than 30 minutes and by the end of it you will have in your possession: Magic mind tricks or attraction


6

The Official PL Dating Report

“push button” seduction systems Silent techniques of magnetic attraction Scientifically backed psychological techniques looking into “hot buttons” and “frames” Rapid “appearance” changes that triple success (less than 5 minutes) Specific behaviours you should be using and how to implement them in the real world Flirting clues for confidence A body language, fast track course. Success with women is easy! IF… you know HOW There was a time when I used to be so terrified of speaking to attractive women that my vision blurred, my face turned beet red and i’d stammer like an idiot… But after altering a few small personality flaws I am able to confidently use somewhat arrogant and cocky humour to my advantage to put her in her place.


The Alpha Male

7

No longer should you have to be at the mercy of beauty. Once you can control your own emotions you will have to beat a path to get out the door with your chosen women (or 3) on your arm. It sounds like the fantasy of a school boy but dreams are a reality for those men willing to confront them and act upon what’s necessary to make it happen. The road to the alpha male is not laid with cotton wool and pink ribbons. There will be some rejection - but the payoff is a brand new life.


2 Dating Mindset Zen Dating Advice

1 Relax‌Breath 2. Talk Less 3. Stop Searching #1 - Talk Less! (shut up) Talking less enables easier self reflection but more importantly allows women to talk about themselves. Even if your not interested in their latest shoe or dress purchase it’s easy to be perceived as giving a dam if your not ranting on about your life.

9


10

The Official PL Dating Report

You may love being the centre of attention but do not be so rude as to never let anyone else have their say. This means actually NOT talking for at least 3-4 minutes while you appreciate and encourage OTHER peoples thoughts and interests. You may not even recognise that you do it but interrupting other people is extremely rude - especially if you change the subject away from their interests. They (women) may be to polite to let you know what your doing but you can be sure there will be a cross next to your name when you do. You may never be the “strong silent type” (able to feel good about yourself independently of anyone else’s external recognition and praise) But you can try to be more aware of other peoples feelings and personalities. If you usually the centre of attention recognise that YOU have a lot of power to make other people feel great about themselves. The silent types wont interrupt you to have their say like you might but they ARE waiting to be asked for their own valued opinion. Simply asking a women about how she feels about the topic of conversation when in a group boosts your value big time in every bodies eyes.


Dating Mindset

11

So rather than coming across as a self absorbed know it all use your confidence to your advantage and talk less by asking more. #1 - Relax‌Breath Nobody (especially including women) likes a party pooper. Relax and enjoy the ride. There is no pass fail, win or lose with women there is only good and bad experiences. There are always more women to impress or fail to impress by inaction! By relaxing you allow your real personality to shine through and the jokes come naturally. Different personalities are funny in different ways. If you are not great with wisecracks and witty comments then you can work on that but perhaps you should look into interesting factual information that sparks great conversation. Or maybe you are allows really honest about situations which is naturally funny anyway. Everybody has their own way of lightening the mood being more of yourself rather than trying to fake someone else’s personality that you THINK women want is the


12

The Official PL Dating Report

only right path to take… WHY? (nobody can fake that good + your life will be a constant lie). IMPORTANT: Relaxing and taking women LESS SERIOUSLY is perhaps the BEST dating advice a guy can receive. The guys that actually need a few tips really suffer from as a result of being to serious! They over complicate what is really a simple experience and place to much emphasis on the WIN or LOSE mentality. All women really want is to have some FUN. If you can lighten the mood and make them fell comfortable in your presence you are 80% of the way there! Truly. The rest is simply down to a few projections of high value and self respect. Treat Women With Respect On the back of taking women less seriously there is also a case for not treating her right… Check out this parody of Jersey Shore Let’s stay away from acting like RONNIE or looking like Pauley D ok?


Dating Mindset

13

Treating your women like one of your mates will slowly ensure that she BECOMES one of your mates. You might think at the beginning that it’s great She is comfortable around you Your like “brother and sister” together BUT The reality is she is your girlfriend or wife! Not your mate. Having wrestling matches or farting contests is going to screw your relationship up pretty quickly. #3 - Stop Looking! This doesn’t mean stop showing up in places where single women are hanging out but it does mean stop EXPECTING that you will hook-up or find a women every time you go out. It is natural for guys to go searching for women but you end up looking like a pack of dam wolves when you are out with our buddies. Women can spot desperate guys and you don’t want to be a part of that. When you stop expecting and actively searching you will naturally attract the right women for you.


14

The Official PL Dating Report

You will chat to women because they are interesting to talk to rather than being part of your twisted pick up approach and set. … By talking less and breathing/listening more you are able to become more aware of your surroundings. Realizing your faults is the first step to moving forward and correcting them. By stopping your desperate search for women you start to realize the futility of chasing. You will start to work on yourself and through enjoyable experiences with friends you will attract the right women into your life naturally. NOTE: this approach to dating may not work for everyone… It is natural for guys to love the thrill of the chase. All I would recommend is to give it a real try for a month or two and see where you get with it. “Stop looking” does not mean stop Living!


3 Belief Are you attracted to yourself? If you think you’re an ugly sack of shit that never completes tasks or reaches goals then how do you think women are going to think of you? You CANT fake it…

Your subconscious is quietly documenting every little thought and feeling you have about yourself; this slowly gets represented as an external mirror of yourself. If you know right now that your down on confidence and lacking “game” perhaps you need to spend a little bit of time work on yourself.

15


16

The Official PL Dating Report

There are a ton of courses out there that can help you work on your confidence (david wygant and david deangelo) are a couple of coaches that have mastered that mindset that enables them to attract women and gets them “laid”. But more importantly their life and connections/relationships are richer because they are powerful successful men. Being successful with women takes practise: Not every women is going to be delighted to see you or willing to chat or get connected but some will. It’s just comes down to whether you have the will to work on your belief and confidence. David talks alot about how the modern day “Pua” trends is all bullshit because there really isn’t that much to attracting women. You simply need to be in the right mindset “man mindset” and connect with them. How do you connect? Observe what they are doing and ask them questions: You want to be interested in them… Very few people that she doesn’t know will take the time to really get to know her. If you get under the surface and get to know her the rest is history.


Belief

17

Without any lines and gimmicks you are able to approach a women stress and anxiety free. There is no stress because you are NOT trying to pick anyone up. You are simply asking her about her day or where she bout those flowers or why she choose her dress. It doesn’t matter what you talk about so long as you are genuinely interested in the question you ask. Just keep the conversation about her and keep it moving along. Don’t push for email, or phone numbers or dates later on! If she wants to get to know you better she will likely ask for your full name (or you give it to her when you leave) and she WILL look you up on facebook if she is interested. If you think she is a bit to nervous to take things further it should be easy with the knowledge you gain chatting to her to add her as a friend. If you have done a good enough job connecting and getting to know her she will want more of YOU: This means you will never have to ask for a women’s number again. They will ask you! At the end of the night you find that she STILL hasn’t approached you for a number just casu-


18

The Official PL Dating Report

ally throw in “Ohh and you can find me on facebook if you want” , while not giving her a chance to reply. Remember it’s no a serious thing yet you are just allowing her the opportunity to approach you in a relaxed and safe manner. Don’t feel rejected if she doesn’t add you. It’s no big deal!! You approached other women that night right? Of course you did. I shouldn’t have even used the word approached in the previous sentence… You “talked” to other women the other night right? Yes now that’s much easier – it’s easy to just chat to girls/women about anything and everything and that’s all your doing! Remember if you start to get nervous and anxious remind yourself that it’s natural and it’s just because you haven’t had much practice at it. Remind yourself that you are just TALKING about and asking questions/ getting to know her. It’s not about a pass or fail pick up.


Belief

19

If she digs your vibe then let’s move forward and continue chatting. If not well that’s fine to: she will have some hot friends that might right? David Wyant suggests that it really is all about widening you circle of friends. You are interesting to talk to so women and men want to talk to you… Now this is often not the case which is why communication training is so important. It takes time and it’s all worth it: Practice communicating with everybody everyday. Sooner or later it will become easier – It may never be second nature to you because it may not be in your nature and that’s OK to (you can still attract women without it) but you at least need that base talkative nature and ease of presence in everyone’s presence. Am I making sense? Don’t forget that you may have communication blocks: If you turn to alcohol to ease conversation then this may be the very thing holding you back… Ease up on the booze and get healthy and just have a few sips of wine before you approach.


20

The Official PL Dating Report

Butterfly repellent (butterflyrepellent.com) is a natural beta blocker that helps with nerves and anxiety. If you think that your dating games needs a little help don’t be surprised that your diet is influencing your mood and communicative performance. Belief In Yourself When you hear Dave speak it’s just so obvious immediately that he thinks highly of himself. Rather than learning techniques, sets and lines work on your own self worth and your own trust and belief in yourself. This way not only will you attract more women in your life but you will also attract success in other fields (spiritually, financially, emotionally) Attraction isn’t a choice so you can’t attract every girl in the room. This means you can be chatting with a women and do everything right and she still won’t be interested in hanging out. Believe and trust in yourself enough to realise that it’s OK that every women doesn’t dig you. That’s just unreasonable.


Belief

21

And it’s ok to not be great communicating with women as well! Most men are terrible at chatting to attractive women.


4 Confidence Your confidence level may be lacking due to past dating failures or rejections. It is up to you and you only to re-establish your confidence with women as it’s the core attribute to female attraction. Your male confidence is what makes you attractive to women. You may think that it’s your looks or even your personality, but the big secret of female to male attraction is confidence. Cocky even arrogant confidence around attractive women will get you laid. In order to increase your confidence with women YOU are going to need to be proactive and the great thing is you

23


24

The Official PL Dating Report

are showing this by reading this post… Your on the right track Here are some confidence tips for men that will help you to heal past failures and rebuild confidence from scratch. More Confidence With Women – You Are Worthy One of the main reasons people lack confidence is that they don’t feel worthy. Not worthy of female love Not worthy of female attention Not worthy of speaking up as no one is interested in what you have to say You may hear yourself saying: (or thinking subconsciously) “I am not funny, or attractive or cool so why should anyone listen to me?” Therefore why should I approach that girl or speak up in a crowd – I am not worthy of love and attention remember? WRONG!!!


Confidence

25

Everyone on this earth is equally worthy of love and attention. Your past need not predict your future. YOU decide if your worthy or not. YOU decide that a womens rejection means you are not attractive. Why not instead reframe a rejection into: “well to bad love, you just missed out on the best night of your life…” SHE made the error in not picking you because you ROCK! Deluded? I think not: Why should you believe anything else? Does thinking negatively about anything really help apart from exposing your own misfortunes and errors? I am guessing you know your own misfortunes and insecurities to bloody well for your own good. They do not serve you – and you are worthy Now that you are ready to give this dating thing another shot. Let’s give you the best chance of success More Confidence With Women - Patience


26

The Official PL Dating Report

You will intuitively know when the right time to approach a women is or when you are ready to meet someone knew. Do not force the issue or beat yourself up about being a wuss for not stepping up to the plate. Trust your gut and time your approach. More Confidence With Women - Honesty Are you ready for honesty? Pen Paper Create a list of ALL the things you will no longer stand for - all the things you are not comfortable with about yourself. This should be pretty easy for you. Ask someone you really trust to read the list and rank from 1-10 the validity of these beliefs about yourself. Do not choose your mom here, they will be too nice. A wingman is great for this. More Confidence With Women - Appearance If you feel that the way you look is negatively affecting your confidence with women then you need to address this. Take your time and don’t try to be someone that you


Confidence

27

are not but rather clean up the rough edges you know you have let go of. Invest in some new clothes – if you wear black often why not try brown? Get a haircut and shave These are small, subtle changes towards a cleaner more success and goal orientated male appearance have been proven to immediately boost self confidence. Stop accepting second best – strive for excellence in everything you do and follow though. More Confidence With Women - Routines Your daily routine – Routines are tough to both create and destroy. Start following though with what you know you want – a fit athletic body – go back to the gym and make it a routine. Your routine will be different from the next guys but just keep up the things that increase your confidence. Do what you love and are good at. Increase the face time and speaking time with friends. More Confidence With Women - People If your family or friends harbour a negative attitude to life and positive change you need to work on isolating your mind from their influence. Dont let them know what your doing they will only bring you down. Spend more time with people who you believe will help you become more positive and confident.


28

The Official PL Dating Report

Join clubs, sports teams and social meet ups, the practice of social interaction is learnt. Easier said that done: but start dating again no matter how long its been. The more contact with women you have the better. More Confidence With Women - Exercise Running is great for confidence – get out there and do some form of physical exercise every day. Remember it’s not the fat your are losing and the body you are getting but the way exercise strengthens the mind. Exercise actually changes your state. So if you feel depressed get off that chair and do something about it. It doesn’t have to be long just a quick run around the block if that’s all you can muster. More Confidence With Women - Diet You are what you eat – Ditch the sugary drinks and low quality refined products. There is a whole new world or enjoyment out there when you discover how to cook real food. Chicks love a man that can cook. If you feel that you drink too much alcohol, smoke or do any form of drug you will obviously understand the impacts this can have on your confidence.


Confidence

29

More Confidence With Women - Attitude Learn to enjoy the basic pleasures of life they will start to rebuild your confidence. Mark your calendar today – The day you will start a detox diet of your choice even if it’s just more green vegetables and no alcohol. Confidence with women starts one day at a time. Set goals and know what you want out of life both physically mentally and emotionally. Women love a man who knows what he want. This after all is what confidence is all about. Choose to look at every wrong turn and rejection from now on positively. Do not spend time analysing what you did wrong simply get back on your feet and follow the steps above. Above all be persistent. More confidence with women is obviously what you want but it wont come quickly. Confidence is earnt not won, stolen or bought.


5 Action It’s very easy to read some piece of information and think that you understand it and will be able to apply it in the real world. But actually doing something is completely different than knowing and understanding is intellectually‌ The action and doing part is where all the magic happens: It’s where we discover how to put into practice all the information we have gathered over the past few days/ weeks. There are many men out there who think that they know how to impress and influence women, yet when it comes time to perform they are surprised at the lack of results. 31


32

The Official PL Dating Report

You see, Women don’t want a guy who KNOWS that he needs to be confident.

They want a guy who is ACTUALLY confident… It’s most certainly old news that women are attracted to a man who is confident and knows what he wants… but does that really help you? At the end of the day even if you know you SHOULD be confident if you don’t know how to get that confident dominant feeling every day and in every situation, it’s worthless. Because you’re not putting anything into action or practice in the real world you never REALLY learn anything. You think your getting more intelligent and “worldly” with your new piece of information but really your just playing around. In this information age it’s easy to assume that you know many things. In face your probably do know many things because almost all information is available in milliseconds. But it’s those people who are DOING something with the new knowledge they acquire that will make in-roads and progress in the future.


Action

33

Women don’t want a guy who UNDERSTANDS That he needs to be ‘in the moment’, they want a guy who IS in the moment.

And they don’t want a guy who’s read books on not being needy… They want a guy who’s ACTUALLY NOT NEEDY. This is the main reason why nerds and geeks seem so awkward in social situations… They just have not had that much time putting social interaction into practice. They spend the majority of their time reading analysing studying or playing computer games etc. If they gave up the books for two months I could have them acting perfectly normal – it just takes a little bit of exposure to communication and interaction. They need to FEEL the emotion of confidence and joking wordplay that exists in normal conversation rather than serious analytical conversation. Geeks could analyse and study solutions to their social awkwardness for years but nothing would get solved until they put action behind their thoughts.


34

The Official PL Dating Report

So now that you know (intellectually) that you need to be DOING more will the information that you have (a considerable amount) what are you going to do about it? I would suggest that you write down 5 ACTIONS or events that you should commit to doing every day that involve interaction and activity. Running/jogging Approach 1 stranger a day and chat to them / get to know them (could be in a book store or in the line at a fast food restaurant) Join social clubs and sports teams to broaden your social circle Limit your computer screen time and spend more time talking with friends All of these actions require you to ACT and be more rather then read and learn more‌ Reading and learning is great but a BALANCE is required. You will intellectually understand the importance of being in the moment during a date. Picture your date (women/wife/gf) as being the only person in the room.


Action

35

Your complete attention is on her and only her. You are not in your own head wondering what to say because if you’re in your head you’re not connecting with her. You actively observe and note her interests when she talks which enable you to bring them up later in the night. Getting out of your head and away from dating information overload is the most important step for intellectuals. You might be at work all day and “in your head” or in your work. How do you come out of it straight away and go to a bar relaxed , laid back with and easy going attitude? Most people drink alcohol which leads to even more anxiety down the line. It comes done to focus – allowing your mind to dart and fly all over the place does not help you stay in the moment for very long. You might feel amazingly confident and in the moment for a few minutes and then it dies out. Remember the feeling and keep it going by leaving no gap between your conversation with friends and your next conversation with the girl standing next to you. Allow the natural conversation flow to become part of you – there should be no anxiety and friction between sets. If there is become self aware – you will be letting your mind talk louder than your actions… Have the will power to say no to that monkey on your back and move forward with definite purpose. You will


36

The Official PL Dating Report

slip up and get anxious at times as this social interaction is not normal for you but it’s all part of learning and growing. The guys around you that seem to natural at chatting up girls are likely not as genius as you at intellectual problem solving, they do this often so don’t feel intimidated. In time you will say goodbye to dating information overload and welcome living in the NOW through action.


6 Location 1. Social Sites Yelp,Facebook,Myspace,Ning these are just a few of the hundreds of amazing community sites out there – of course you can always try dating sites but community sites seem to be more based around small common interests of real people. There are amazing stories and reviews. Great opportunity to become part of a new community. Only problem will be to transition from online to offline. 2. Acting Class Once again interactive, community driven and people return each week. It’s great fun and can be really funny. Drinks after the event is common.

37


38

The Official PL Dating Report

3. Wine Walks and Tours This ones been said before and can be expensive but it’s another great option if your looking to find high end women. Could be a bit pretentious if your not into that scene. 4. Organised Adventure Trips There are places you can go in your local town that organise trips and events around common interests. Hiking , fishing, scuba diving, biking, sport. These activites always get the blood rushing and are great natural ways to find new friends. These friends can always lead on to something more serious later on which is always the best way to create lasting relationships. There is no pressure because it is such a relaxed environment. You will be outside doing what you love so it’s easy to impress without realizing that you are – also happens to be the best way to impress. Ahhh mother nature you’ve done it again. 5. Volunteer Work It can be lot’s of fun to volunteer and know that you’re giving back to the community. Getting to know other volunteers is easy and you get to see your city in a different light. Kids coaching, clean up work, big organised student helps


Location

39

6. Yoga Class Meet HOT women in yoga pants and lose weight while your doing it! IM IN… Heard of http://www.girlsinyogapants.com/? Know you have… The gym is teeming with attractive vibrant and fit young women but a more interactive team style class such as yoga or kickboxing gets you interacting with people. Much easier to strike up conversation when interacting than when you pumping iron. Closed team environments open up people to advances in a natural way. Women might be a bit weary of being hit on in gyms… been done to much. Yoga classes become a regular thing so it’s easy to become friends. 7. Art Centers Most towns have an area where there are outdoor stalls and sections where you can check out the local art talent. Cool little boutique stores and trendy coffee shops are another great way to either take your date or find one. Relaxed atmosphere and passionate people make this a great way to find women. 8. Specialty Parks Sometimes there are parks designated just for (eg dogs). Women love to walk there puppies and dogs will


40

The Official PL Dating Report

always interact with each other meaning you don’t have to approach anyone – your pup will do all the work for you.


7 Conversation With great first date conversation you are sure to get a second date even if you don’t really “bond”. It’s unreasonable to think there will be immediate sexual chemistry at a simple lunch date. That usually comes later, so all you should be focused on in your first date is to keep the conversation flow moving forward. Redirect any conversation sticking points toward something more positive. What Not to Do Controversial topics include: death, religion, politics, divorce, pet hates: all these conversation topics can lead to 41


42

The Official PL Dating Report

small arguments or disagreements. If you trying to probe your date with 20 questions regarding her past and present beliefs you will ruin the real reason for the date. Talking about your past negative relationships screams “stuck in the past”. Your date will not be impressed if you go on and on about them so best idea is to never bring them up. You can mention past relationship duration but that’s as far as you should go. Some emotional insecure guys might try to predict what her dates wants to hear so that they can be more congruent in conversation. This common conversational mistake leads to outright failure because you can never predict what they are thinking. Be yourself and hope for the best because liars always look like fools. Look up and directly into your dates eyes. Many guys find this difficult to do as they are used to indirect conversation over some activity such as sport or beers. Your date will notice if you look away when she tries to hold your gaze. Looking away is a sign of weakness and insecurity which is certainly not what you want to convey. You don’t have to stare non-stop but just make sure your head is up and in her direction most of the time (not staring at her rack)


Conversation

43

If your eyes are not on her make sure they are not on other women. She won’t be impressed if you are checking out girls while you are on a date. This is all part of the conversational experience – it’s not just about what you say. For effective first date conversation it is crucial that you focus on your Voice tone: pitch and variability when necessary, obvious but always forgotten Eye direction: Keep your focus on her, she will love the attention. She will feel the attention you are giving her if your eye contact is sincere and steady. Eye contact is one of the most important parts of any first date experience. It’s one of the crucial areas of the bonding process. Body language: Women can spot a desperate man from a mile off. But at the same time coming off completely disinterested in the date will also blow your chances. Just be yourself but focus on how your body is in relation to hers. Keep your arms unfolded and open to her advances. It helps if your hips are oriented in the same direction to hers. First Date Conversation Secret


44

The Official PL Dating Report

Conversation that is driven only but intellectual surface to surface topics will not stimulate the emotions of your date. I mentioned earlier that your sexual connection and intimacy will come later but that does not mean that you shouldn’t talk about emotional topics. The secret to the first date is to ensure that your date feels noticed and understood. Ask her questions and move the topics toward emotions and feelings if it feels natural to you. This could be something as simple as chatting about her future travel plans. That way she will be thinking about emotional travel experiences and adventure rather than boring work. It’s crucial to smile on the first date. One person that is smiling can light up the whole room. When you smile it makes your date feel relaxed and happy to be in your presence. Get used to smiling with warmth and presence. Listen intently and actively to what your date has to say. They want to feel loved and respected. If you ask them a question and then look away your chances of a second date are slim.


Conversation

45

They will soon get the impression that you care little about what they have to say. Every person (independent of looks and social status) can teach you something amazing about yourself. Never count a date out until you have gotten to know them. Respect everybody until THEY prove your otherwise. I you met this women online REMEMBER her name (obviously) her dogs name, what her dog has for breakfast, what she loves to do on Sundays, her family’s history, ANYTHING that she has told you in the past REMEMBER it. Bringing up emotional and person topics then becomes much easier. We all love to talk about ourselves so if you move into an awkward silence just bring up her dogs eating habits or her what she likes to do in the weekend. First Date Remember those awkward moments on the a first date where the two of you came completely unprepared to TALK? Whether it was nerves or incompatibility those silences can be avoided with a bit of pre date prep work. Conversation flow is about allowing the conversation to move naturally from one topic to the next with no fric-


46

The Official PL Dating Report

tion or tension in between. It helps if you can integrate your personality into the conversation topics and infuse the experience with wit and humour. However if you are just starting out at this first date thing then sticking to some set conversion topics is a good idea too. Good conversation flow only occurs when you are in a relaxed mood which is tough when in the presence of someone you want to impress. Voice tone is important when keep the conversation flow moving. You could be unknowingly coming across: arrogant, condescending, negative simply by your voice tone. Smile and keep your energy high but body relaxed at the same time. It’s easy to get intimidated at the thought of a blind date or your first date as a result of online dating. Even though you know that your both into the same stuff and you bonded online you never know how the chemistry is going to go offline. Plus you might be nervous about your ability to put a good performance in. You realise that offline communication is much different than emailing women online.


Conversation

47

Good conversational flow can be destroyed by bringing up controversial topics or talking so much that it becomes one sided (very common) Talking points: Travel: Whether you have travelled or not means little. The point is that you are talking about the future (potentially together) you are talking about goals and aspirations and moving forward. Chatting about exotic locations together defiantly relaxes the mood get’s her thinking about what fun she will have with you. If you have travelled alot keep your boasting a minimum and keep her talking about the places SHE would like to visit and what SHE could to their. Music: Not everyone is into music but most will be happy to chat about certain genres that represent their personality. If you find out she is really into music you can get into interpreting different songs and the rest is history. Pets: Women love to talk about pets and animals. If you have any pets they are a great way to move the conversation on


48

The Official PL Dating Report

from anything serious. Just make sure you don’t ramble on about how amazing your pets are. Foods: Food is one of those ancient past times that revolved around sharing stories. The dietary habits of your women will say alot about her. Current Scandals and News: Women also love all of the celebrity gossip and news so get into that if you have nothing else to talk about. You will get an indication if she likes to chat about it by her reaction to your news story. Family: You can be sure that her family will be very important to her. Sports: Both watching and playing, hopefully the two of you have this in common (via online dating ) Hobbies: Ask her what she does for fun when shes not working.


Conversation

Work: (Last resort)

49


8 Free Online Dating

Pullingladies.com/dating and free online dating on the internet

Good 100% free online dating sites are hard to come by: Okcupid is perhaps the most impressive example of a site which allows free dating but also “scientifically matches” you to other singles on the site. One of the biggest complaints you will get with a site like plentyoffish.com is the quality and intent of it’s users.

51


52

The Official PL Dating Report

The word FREE means there is no risk up front – signup and email doesn’t cost you a dime and so easy come easy go… Many women are often frustrated that they cannot find guys on free dating sites that are interested in a more serious relationship. Women (quite rightly) are looking for guys that they can get to know slowly over time. Meaning that you meet up online and email until you feel acquainted, then perhaps go for a casual lunch or coffee date in the weekend. The intent of men on free dating sites is usually for casual encounters – that’s ok if there are enough women to satiate the influx but most often there are “too many dicks on the dance floor”.

Pullingladies.com/dating allows 100% free online dating with no ads… It is by no means an example of a good free dating site but has everything you need to browse and contact other singles. In time the growth will allow the features and structure of the site to be upgraded. Until then small errors and photo uploading quirks will have to be dealt with by the users who sign up.


Free Online Dating

53

So the main value that is added with a dating site in general ( in case you hadn’t realised), is the ability to get into contact with people you don’t know. The problem with any dating site that starts off is the growth phase in which there is just not enough database size for it to be useful. When plentyoffish.com grows at 20,000 singles a day! …It’s tough to compete. When a new user signs up and realises that there is nobody present on the site from their area it quickly becomes a useless exercise. In time of course this problem is dealt with. Jan-rain integration has just been implemented at www.pullingladies.com/dating so that the sign up process is much more seamless and the profile picture uploading process happens automatically… Nice Apart from that though general site growth is the most important aspect. Need a little dating advice on how to play your hand online? Heard of slow playing in poker? Here it is applied to dating online.


54

The Official PL Dating Report

Moving from a virtual online relationship (dating site) to an offline real relationship poses some new problems. You don’t want to come across desperate or aggressive… You have to give your virtual partner or potential partner time to assess how she feels about the situation. Often times she will make the move and suggest that two of you meet up (best scenario)… If time has passed and she is still showing interest she is not sure if you are that into her. This is when you need to ask if she is keen to meet up offline. Slow Play If you’re going to play it slow in your online offline transition then you will be exchanging quite a few emails and defiantly chatting on the phone, skype, facebook etc: This happens when the two of you are quite serious about the relationship but still want to make sure of each other. Neither is certain that the other wants to take it further so the online conversation goes on longer than it should.


Free Online Dating

55

Even so, eventually either one cracks and asks the other to go out or meet up or you find out that they never wanted to meet up in the first place. Sometimes guys/girls are just interested in phone chat etc and they are married or in a relationship. Online daters who slow play and don’t commit to offline dates are not taking it seriously and tend to just be doing it for the excitement and attention. The slow play in online dating is a great way to find out a lot about the person before you meet up. It’s possible to make the first offline meeting a blast by becoming friends online first. The first date is like catching up with an old friend because you have already shared so much together. Online video and audio chat is great for this. However most people do not like the idea of sitting in front of a computer for any longer than they have to so if you’re not into the slow play why not speed things up and get to know each other over lunch… Fast Play This is a very exciting way to play the online dating game. The quick contact is usually casual sex motivated so


56

The Official PL Dating Report

if you find yourself asking for her phone number and getting it straight away you can infer what she’s into. However the excitement of meeting and suggesting a meeting place within 5 minutes can wear off. The reality of meeting a stranger in person should kick in when you go to meet them soon after (same day or weekend) Women and men who agree to the quick meet up are eager for companionship. They may have been online for awhile and not been approached by a guy like you before. Just remember that decisions that you will later regret are often made during fast online play. But hey this isn’t poker and if you like a little crazy fun then ring her up and chat to get to know her. There is a middle ground between the fast play and the slow play. Basically you act interested in meeting up but also be rational and reserved. Get her number but be sure that you have something in common before you commit to anything. If they sound weird on the phone or there are any inconsistencies move on…


Free Online Dating

57

NEVER meet for the first time at your own house or hers: Unless you have slow played and seen her face to face via skype etc If you plan a big restaurant dinner (or movie) from a fast play and she turns out to be crazy what then? Meet at a bar or for coffee or for a walk in the park… That way their are easy outs and you don’t waste to much time and money. In the end… be rational. If you feel strongly about her after a few emails and a phone call or online video chat then trust your gut and go on a dinner. If you met her via adultfriendfinder and exchanged 5 emails to arrive at each others cell phone numbers to text a quick location out then for Christ sake don’t organise a romantic dinner and a movie. A quickie behind the bike sheds might be more in order (before you FIRST meet her during the light of day in a public place). Remember the world can be a dangerous place for the naive. In the most part online dating is safe and fun and will only add to your life.


58

The Official PL Dating Report

Find a new relationship , spice up your love life or find a women that loves nerdy fat guys. It’s all online and it’s all waiting for you to discover. Using site such as black people meet, mature dating uk or be naughty you are able to contact singles online who are also looking for dating and relationships. You pay a small fee for the ability to contact other singles of course but their are other sites where you can test out the slow play fast play method… Why not use okcupid, plentyoffish or oasis active? They are free and full of ads but hey, it’s free. If money is a problem right now use the free sites otherwise eHarmony and vipsingles are sites that will allow you to find someone amazing in your life. Long meaningful relationships can and do happen online every day as a result of singles slow playing and getting to know many singles on the site at once. In time they choose a few people that they really click with and badda bing badda boom they are married. (eHarmony marriage statistics will blow your mind) e.g.


Free Online Dating

59

148,311 marriages and 1,130,006 non-married, monogamous relationships (ESTIMATED TO BE) started by eHarmony, between January 1, 2008 and June 30, 2009 However you want to play your hand‌ whether it be offline or online, remember to stay safe and choose wisely.


9 Dating Facts #1 Roughly 44% of all Adult Americas are single #2 Do you believe in love at first sight? 71% of fellow Americans DO #3 There are more single women in America than there are single men at a ratio of 100:86 #4

61


62

The Official PL Dating Report

What’s the most important thing you look for in a relationship? - Personality (30%) - Humor (14%) - Smile (12%) What you look like comes in at 11% So if you’re a weird looking fat guy with a great smile, great personality and great humour you to can snag a model. Do you believe that? I think that if someone has a great personality and is able to make a women laugh then yes they can date attractive women. It would also help if they had money though. It’s going to be tough for the fat guy at first though because the first thing women notice on a date is LOOKS. So after a rocky start you should be able to pull it back with humour and a great smile. However two strikes because most people believe in love at first sight… So how does a fat ugly dude date a hot women when the first thing women notice is looks and 71% of Americans believe in love at first sight? Keep looking for that other 30%


Dating Facts

63

#5 Currently more than 40 million American singles use online dating to find love and relationships online. #6 Make sure your dating profile has a picture – you will get TWICE the response WITH a picture than without one. Or though I’m not quite sure why you wouldn’t use a picture in a dating profile that specifically asks for one. Perhaps you want to stay anonymous… If so you shouldn’t be using online dating – perhaps adult friend finder #7 Still looking for relationships and love in a bar? Only 2% of men are successful at establishing relationships in a bar!!! David Wygants communication techniques and lifestyle is an example of how you CAN find and date amazing women. #8 More than 50% of people surveyed admit to dating MORE than one person at the same time! Naughty


64

The Official PL Dating Report

Naughty… well it’s not even that it comes down to morals and trust. More than 50% of Americans sometime in their life were lying to a loved one about the most important aspect of their relationship. Doesn’t say much about the moral fibre of American culture but I suspect that this statistic will hold elsewhere. #9 Infidelity is the cause of about a third of all breakups. #10 Now I’m not so sure about this one – the average single male or female in America will go on 100 dates before finding a partner for life… That’s alot of dates! #BONUS 80 percent of singles believe that the first kiss is a good indication of the potential of the future relationship… Ahem… what about their personality?


10 Moving Forward As we move forward it’s important to recognise the ill doings of our past… even if douchebag guidos are to blame for all the pathetic pick up lines and macho (but feminine) looks and attitudes that got us all rejected at least once.

As we move forward let’s take note of what has worked and more importantly what has failed… A sense of humour will be important in 2011 as it has always been. Humour is attractive because you portray

65


66

The Official PL Dating Report

Socially dominant characteristics Willingness to make others laugh Personality Openness Humour eases the mood and relaxes an otherwise tense first or second interaction. A sense of humour is important for a guy. But for any women reading… being outgoing and the center of attention leads to fewer dates than if you sat back and looked pretty (sadly) Men are easily intimidated by women that are dominant. So it’s good for a guy to be funny and openly joking / funny but not so great for women Let this be the final call: Pick up lines don’t work… AT ALL They do not initiate conversation or suggest that you are witty in any way. In fact if that line you just said sounds remotely like a pick up line it’s crosses next to your name. They are rehearsed, corny, and closed statements about your personality rather than open ended insightful compliments.


Moving Forward

67

Dating conversation in 2011 is going to be based on real time conversation that is forever changing based on the current news and situation. So to make myself clear Chat up lines… almost ALL of them don’t work. The chat up lines that do work are any lines that trigger the other person to talk about THEMSELVES in an interesting way. What animal would you be? What pizza would you be? Maaaabey use : I had a dream about you last night And then go on on talk about why it could have been her etc. If you’re wondering what to say to a women when on a date here is ONE simple dating tip to remember. Somewhat scientific studies have been conducted in England that confirm that if you ask questions that are related to your dates interests you will increase your chances of a second date…


68

The Official PL Dating Report

It seems that your attention and apparent interest in THEM is enough to win her heart. Of course you actually have to BE interested in her to pull it off… Successfully winning over your dates heart in 2011 is going to be all about being authentic. Women are sick of fakes and phoneys and can pick them a mile away so ask her questions about herself and pay attention. How hard can it be? Of course your female date will be polite and will invariably ask you a similar question about yourself. When talking look into her eyes and smile – be honest about your life and what you want. If this means you don’t get laid tonight (and you could have if you lied) then so be it… Most guys would lie… but you are better than that right? Dating in 2011 is about being authentic, real , honest and in doing so being a better you (ergh, did I just say that?) At the risk of sounding like a big girls blouse I will continue: By being more honest and accentuating you personality rather than stifling it you are finally able to punch above your weight. And punch you will. Promiscuity is on the rise and online dating site will continue to shack singles up for casual bed snuggles.


Moving Forward

69

So enjoy finally being more of you: be honest about what you want and go out an get it in the new year. If you are looking for more success with women and dating past victories should be used for reminiscent purposes. Dating gurus and coaches will continue to dazzle us with marketing wordplay and fantasies of womanising. In the end you need little of this coaching but buy it you will: As the buying decision cares little for rational thought. Your dick might do the talking for parts of 2011 but I hope that you will remember our little talk. Trust yourself and the direction in which you want your life to go. The women will follow for women are drawn to the powerful man who knows what he wants. Re-read that last bit, it’s important that you get what I am hinting at. You need not chase and impress women with your money hair or jokes. Take control of your life, if that means starting a new job or going back to college then so be it. Let your instincts lead you to power. Once you succeed you will be amazed at the women that race to your side.


The Official PL Dating Report  
The Official PL Dating Report  

10 Chapters deataling dating mindset and the alpha male concept... Free Online Dating arguments and conversation tips from the pullingladies...

Advertisement