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Beautiful Wandering BY COURTNEY BAREMAN

For much of my life, I had a vision and plan…I

where I wanted, but when I arrived - it wasn’t what I

knew where I was going and how I wanted to get

had expected. I needed to breathe and push pause.

there. I could picture my grown up life,

Reevaluate before moving forward. I decided that I

responsible and very successful. My walk-in

wanted to give life to something that for a long time

closet would be full of pencil skirts and pointy

had been pushing to the furthest margins of my life…I

shoes - an outfit that I would do my important and

wanted to write.

meaningful work in. I held on to my vision and plan closely and tightly, maybe too much so. I went to

During this journey there it has been more of a

school, got the grades, and landed the right job.

revealing or uncovering, not like discovering a new

But then I began to wander.

species. It was like finding dinosaur bones and putting them together again…pieces coming together, some

As I began to ask big questions about what I want to

broken over time and a few missing, but overall

do in life and what I want my life to be about it

uncovering what had always been there. Familiar. For

became less about the fancy wardrobe and more

me, now is the reassembling stage. Putting those bones

about other things. Things that were not really a part

back together- seeing what works and what doesn’t.

of my initial plan. I needed room to roam and find my

And making sure they don’t get broken in the process.

voice and figure out who I was. I needed to

Trying to understand how it all works together and the

wander…not without purpose or aim, but as a reaction

purpose of each part. This is not a quick or painless

to the white-knuckled type of control, I had become so

process. It requires bravery to show up and try, day

accustomed to. The plan didn’t work…well, I got to

after day. Showing up and trying.

Profile for Stellar Day Magazine

Stellar Day Magazine, April Issue, 2017  


Stellar Day Magazine, April Issue, 2017