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The Evolution of Intellectual Development By: Stefani Ollanketo


The Evolution of Intellectual Development

Stefani Anne Ollanketo Mrs. Redding English 1102 May 2, 2012


English 1102 Final Portfolio Project Title Table of Contents

Analytical Cover Letter ............................................................................ 1 Quality Comparison ................................................................................. 4 Least Successful Article Response .................................................. 5 Most Successful Article Response .................................................. 9 “What’s the Difference?” .............................................................. 14 Revision Samples ................................................................................... 16 Least Successful Paper (with markup) .......................................... 17 Least Successful Paper (final) ....................................................... 22 Most Successful Paper (with markup)........................................... 27 Most Successful Paper (final) ....................................................... 32 Free Choice Essay (with markup) ................................................. 37 Free Choice Essay (final) .............................................................. 43


May 2, 2012 Karen P. Redding, M.A. Gainesville State College Oconee Campus 206 Oconee Classroom 1201 Bishop Farms Parkway Watkinsville, GA 30677 Dear Mrs. Redding, My name is Stefani Ollanketo and I am in my second semester as a freshman at Gainesville State College. In my English 1102 class I have broadened my writing and thinking skills more than I ever thought I could. I have gathered my best essay, my worst essay and a free choice essay in an organized portfolio to illustrate my growth throughout the semester. Throughout my portfolio, one can grasp my advancement in my writing. In high school my teachers taught me to write a five paragraph essay or a persuasive essay and in English 1101 my professor taught me to write essays about articles, but in English 1102 the writing style pinpointed my thoughts about monsters. I will provide examples from my works to support my achievement as a writer. My worst essay in English 1102 was “Exciting or Horrifying: How Do Humans View Monsters?” This essay pinpointed human’s obsession with monsters and the reasons for the spike in monster popularity. My thesis statement started out sounding odd, “Both articles present intelligent and interesting information about monsters, but society’s definition of a monster varied depending on their culture” (Ollanketo, paper 1). After help from my professor helped me the ending sounded much better, “both Asma and Carroll argue that a culture’s definition of a “monster” varies depending upon the context of their culture” (Ollanketo, paper 1). In my first paragraph I used the words “people” and “somewhat” which is Picky Rule #35. I also did not italicize the author’s article titles which is Picky Rule #15, “In Asma’s Monsters and the Moral Imagination, he describes scenarios and certain time periods in which monsters have more popularity; Carroll’s article Nightmare and the Horror Film explains how a monster is “made” in movies and different characteristics monsters have” (Ollanketo, paper 1). In my first sentence of my second paragraph I used “you” which is not allowed in an academic paper, “You would not image society turning to monsters as a safe ground after an economic downfall or a terrorist attack, but in “Monsters and the Moral Imagination” society does just that” (Ollanketo, paper1). In my final paragraph I used a form of the verb “to be” which is Picky Rule #25, “In the United States, the movie was allowed to be viewed and sold on DVD; countries differ when it comes to horror films” (Ollanketo, paper 1). After editing and rereading my worst paper I saw my silly mistakes and felt grateful for having a chance to fix them. My best essay for English 1102 was “Symbolism of Fear throughout No Country for Old Men.” In class we watched the movie and my partner and I wrote this paper about the techniques the directors used to symbolize fear. I started off with an error saying “everyone” which is Picky Rule #35, “The sense of “you cannot stop what is coming” surrounds everyone throughout the film as well as the felling of hopelessness filling the air” (Ollanketo, paper 2). My thesis was stronger than my worst essay’s because I felt we had a better grasp of our ideas for the paper.


Our thesis read, “In No Country for Old Men, the Coen brothers use color, close up angles, and out-of-frame action to indicate the power of fear Anton Chigurh exerts on his victims” (Ollanketo, paper 2). In my second paragraph we used the phrase “due to the fact” which is Picky Rule #34, “The Coen Brothers chose to apply this effect due to the fact yellow symbolizes fear” (Ollanketo, paper 2). Throughout the paper we had a difficult time putting our thoughts and examples from the movie down into clear sentences, for example, “Throughout the film, many times when the Coen Brothers show Chigurh he has a shadow across his face. As he came in contact with each of the actor or actresses, they too have a shadow across their face” (Ollanketo, paper 2). The last sentence of our paper ended odd because, again we were having trouble clarifying our thoughts, “Joel and Ethan Coen persistently manage to keep the feeling of desperation alive until the ending due to the fact Anton Chigurh’s actions leave on longing for the truth” (Ollanketo, paper 2). We went through the essay using our professor’s advice and it ended up being nicer to read afterwards. My free choice essay from English 1101 was “Through My Friend’s Looking Glass: Reflecting a New Me.” My first paragraph was mess because I changed my topic sentence from, “In her article “The Two Minus-Minus-One Pregnancy,” Ruth Padawer tells many stories of women having twin or triplet pregnancies reduced to a singleton, after going through numerous medical treatments to impregnate them” to “Ruth Padawer shares many stories about women in “The Two-Minus-One Pregnancy,” by relating powerful decisions women had to make about their pregnancies. After going through numerous medical treatments to become impregnated, women having twin or triplet pregnancies had to make the agonizing choice to reduce the embryo to a singleton” (Ollanketo, paper 3). Throughout my paper I used “didn’t” or “isn’t” instead of did not or is not and those words are Picky Rule #18. Also, throughout my paper I used the “w” words, for example, “When a couple becomes pregnant, they first have to decide to keep the baby or not” (Ollanketo, paper 3). I changed “when” to “if” and searched for the rest of the words and changed them to the best of my ability. I changed a lot of words and reworded sentences to make the idea I was trying to present clearer, for example I changed, “She was just another young girl having to make an agonizing decision that could have easily been avoided” to “As Ms. Padawer agrees, Tori was another young girl having to make this agonizing decision” (Ollanketo, paper 3). After my I edited my paper, it turned out to be a clear, structured paper. Throughout my English 1102 semester, my writing and sentence structure has advanced, but there is always room for more improvement. I have been looking over the Picky Rule List more and it has been helping my papers. I still have problems with using question words like “what” “when” “why” in my sentencing. My thoughts are not always clear when I am writing a paper, but when I reread it a few times I see my errors and change them to the best of my ability. My portfolio illustrates my best and worst efforts in my 1102 class and I feel with my examples the differences are visible. I am setting many goals for my writing future and I hope to achieve them gradually with every paper. My effort throughout English has changed dramatically from our first paper to our last project. As I first entered 1102 my mind was open to anything new, but as soon as the word “monsters” came up I said to myself, “This class is going to be awesome.” So as the class progressed, so did my interest in our topics of class. My work in English 1102 deserves a A or B because it has proficiently progressed and I was sincerely interested in the topics presented in class. I will never be able to write a perfect paper because there is no such thing as perfect, but with the tools English 1102 has given me I will be able to produce a paper


worth appreciating. I cannot thank you enough for giving me all the tools and guidance I needed to become a more successful writer! Sincerely,

Stefani A. Ollanketo


Stefani Ollanketo English 1102 / Redding Paper One - Synthesis 30 January 2012

Exciting or Horrifying: How Do Humans Define Monsters? Throughout history authors, movie producers, storytellers, and regular people have been fascinated with the idea of a monster. People may ask questions like, “What exactly is a monster?” or “How does one describe the word monster with a single word?” Authors like Stephen T. Asma, author of “Monsters and the Moral Imagination” and Noel Carroll, author of “Nightmare and the Horror Film: The Symbolic Biology of Fantastic Beings” have written books and articles describing society’s somewhat obsession with monsters. In Asma’s Monsters and the Moral Imagination, he describes scenarios and certain time periods in which monsters have more popularity; Carroll’s article Nightmare and the Horror film explains how a monster is “made” in movies and the different characteristics monsters have. Both articles present intelligent and interesting information about monsters, but society’s definition of a monster varies depending on their culture. You would not image society turning to monsters as a safe ground after an economic downfall or a terrorist attack, but in “Monsters and the Moral Imagination” society does just that. For instance, Asma say, “Monsters are one the rise. People can’t seem to get enough of vampires lately, and zombies have a new lease on life” (Asma 1). Asma explains the thought of monsters as something people can control and after experiencing a traumatic event, the thought of controlling something spreads like wildfire because as Asma says, “In a significance sense,


monsters are a part of our attempt to envision the good life or at least the secure life (Asma 2). In instances where someone is trying to take your control away, people then see their own kind as a monster and not a slimy, massive, horrifying creature. Society’s view on monsters instantly changes when certain events take place in their town; one moment a town can be quiet and then the next moment everyone is afraid to walk out their door because a serial killer is on the loose. Horror films have captured audience’s attention and love for centuries and they continue to fascinate all cultures. In Carroll’s article, he tells the reader there is a cycle of horror films by stating, “The present cycle, like the horror cycle of the thirties and science fiction cycle of the fifties, comes a particular kind of moment in American history-one where feelings of paralysis, helplessness, and vulnerability prevail” (Carroll 16). Every time period, every culture, and even every continent find different things scary based on history around them and stories or myths popular to their time, region, or culture. Carroll also tells us different themes in movies are popular at different times in history, and our tolerance has built up over time because in the past, movies were silent or in black and white and now movies have music, special effects, and story lines that make people quiver. The movies nowadays are less sensitive to the audience and when The Exorcist came out people loved and feared it because it was a new kind of scare. Carroll says, “The spectacle of possession addressed and reflected profound fears and desires never before explored in film” (Carroll 18). With time there comes change and people now are desensitized to horror films from the past because our everyday life is scarier than a movie. Asma and Carroll have intelligent background knowledge on monsters and their points presented in their writings correlate at times when talking about vampires and Frankenstein. Both authors describe vampires as nocturnal, sexual creatures relentlessly looking for helpless victims for their blood. The sucking of the blood is looked at as “repressed sexuality, oral sadism, and


necrophilia” (Carroll 17) and vampires have stayed the same over centuries. As for Frankenstein, people use this name to reference anger and as Asma says, “In our liberal culture, we dramatize the rage of the monstrous creature and Frankenstein’s is a good example--then we scold ourselves and our “intolerant society” for alienating the outcast in the first place” (Asma 1). Everyone sees Dracula as a bad guy and the word Frankenstein gives us a negative image because our culture has passed the views down from generation to generation. History plays an important role when talking about monsters because over time stories build and change with the time periods. Kids use to fear the Boogieman under their bed, but now they fear playing outside alone because times have changed and so has society. In the United Kingdom they banned the movie, “The Human Centipede Full Sequence” out of movie theaters and DVDs. In the United States, the movie was allowed to be viewed and sold on DVD; countries differ when it comes to horror films. Many times people have said “foreign films are worse than American made films,” but why then did the U.K. ban this movie if “foreigners” are used to horrid movies? The answer is the difference between cultures and how much acceptance will be allowed; Americans flock to foreign movies because they have reputations for having the best horror films, but what if “foreigners” think the same about our movies? A twenty-one year old German boy who visited my family a week ago said something very interesting after I was explaining my English 1102 class, “If someone in Germany is accused of being a rapist they will be in jail for a few months without any real punishments. I know here in the U.S. they will forever be in the system. Americans take things more seriously and therefore a monster in Germany is a lot different than here.” No matter how one spells it, the feeling of being scared is universal to all humans, but the definition of a monster changes with one’s outlook on life, history, and more importantly, culture.


Asma, Stephen T. Monsters and the Moral Imagination. Web. 19 January 2012 Carroll, Noel. Nightmare and the Horror Film: The Symbolic Biology of Fantastic Beings. Film Quarterly. Web. Spring 1981. 18 January 2012


Allie Arp & Stefani Ollanketo English 1102 Mrs. Redding Film Analysis February 27, 2012 Symbolism of Fear Throughout No Country for Old Men In many situations throughout the film No Country for Old Men, fear inevitably encroaches on every character in conflict with Anton Chigurh. The sense of “you cannot stop what is coming” surrounds everyone throughout the film as well as the feeling of hopelessness filling the air. Throughout the story Anton Chigurh, a devious and inhumane character, ruthlessly murders others for his personal gain. Fear radiates off of Chigurh onto everyone who comes in contact with him. The Coen Brothers adamantly prove Chigurh’s radiation of fear onto others by their use of cinematography techniques. In No Country for Old Men, the Coen brothers use color, close up angles, and off frame action to indicate the power of fear Anton Chigurh exerts on his victims. In each of Anton Chigurh’s scenes, the Coen Brothers apply a blanket of dark, yellow coloring across the scene. The Coen Brothers chose to apply this effect due to the fact yellow symbolizes fear. Some characters in the film tend to have a lighter blue coloring in their scenes until they come in contact with Chigurh. In addition to the yellow coloring on the scenes, the Coen Brothers incorporated the technique of shadowing. Throughout the whole film, many times when the Coen Brothers show Chigurh he has a shadow across his face. As he came in contact with each of the actor or actresses, they too have a shadow across their face. The Coen brothers incorporate the effect of shadowing to show the fear Anton Chigurh brings out in people; the


effect allots one a sinister feeling while watching the film. The Coen Brothers use the color yellow to complete the setting as well as show fear.The dry colorless environment of No Country for Old Men establishes the setting as a desert prairie in Southwest Texas. The yellow setting provides a dirty, sandy, hot, dry feel as if being in the desert. The directors long for this feel because being in a desert bestows a sense of hopelessness and desperation. The enormous amount of emotion delivered throughout No Country for Old Men demonstrates the effects Chigurh inflicts upon his victims. The emotions shown throughout this film consist of fear, anxiety, intensity and weariness. The directors capture every facial expression and emotion by using closeup shots. In the film, Chigurh and Carson have an intense scene in a hotel room. The camera primarily focuses on the men’s faces until the camera pans down onto Chigurh’s lap and shows his gun. In an effort to display the emotion provided in the film, the Coen Brothers choose to use the technique of camera angles. Throughout the film, the directors choose to never focus on any of the main characters death; illustrating Anton Chigurh as a merciless killer to anyone in his path. Every character in Chigurh’s way ends up having a horrible termination. The directors did not show the death scenes, therefore, the deaths seem unimportant and they are out of frame action. One of the main characters, Llewellyn, is killed in a hotel room, however, the death is never shown; the only fact proven shows Llewellyn’s dead body covered in blood lying on the floor. The directors reasoning behind the out of frame action is the assumption one thinks about Chigurh murdering Llewelyn. Based on the actions on the screen, one cannot detect the actual killer. The camera angles, out of frame action and closeups demonstrated the powerful fear Chigurh exerted onto his victims throughout the film. The Coen Brothers capture the audience’s attention in this film by intelligently shooting intense scenes. In these scenes the camera moved rapidly back and forth between multiple


characters. The directors used this technique to portray the amount of intensity and focus the characters engaged in during their encounters. Anton Chigurh initiated contact with Llewellyn’s wife, Carla Jean, and during their conversation the camera switched swiftly back and forth between the two characters as each one spoke. Carla Jean’s character always appears brightly lit on screen, yet during the scene with Anton she also has the yellow coloring and a shadow across her face as said beforehand. Carla Jean’s new coloring in the scene verified the coloring technique previously stated. Another rapidly moving camera scene included Llewellyn and Anton. Although the two men had a door as a barrier between them, the camera continued to be fast moving. Llewellyn rapidly sat up in bed, rifle in hand, while Anton stood outside his door. The dark, yellow light from the room on Llewellyn’s face makes him appear scared and nervous; just as Llewellyn thinks he has the situation under control, Anton quickly changes Llewellyn’s mind as he turns the hallway light off. Anton turns the hallway light off to reassure Llewellyn he took back the control. The intensity throughout this film, is so evidently portrayed by the use of rapid scene changing, which ultimately influences the director’s motive behind the realistic behavior the Coen Brothers are trying to expose. The film No Country for Old Men, provides the reoccurring feeling of fear. The Coen brothers deliver the feeling of fear throughout the use of cinematography.These techniques are provided to evenly portray the powerful effects of Anton Chigurh. Chigurh’s personality reassures his victims of the notion “you cannot stop what is coming.” The directors deliver the sensation of desperation and hopelessness throughout the entire film. The filming techniques used, portray the character’s emotions in a way which gives a sense of unity with the characters. The lighting in No Country for Old Men varies between the colors yellow and light blue, but depending on the characters on screen it changes. Chigurh is the ultimate factor in which the


color on the scenes change. The director’s camera angles, shadowing and out of frame action leave the scenes with just enough information to keep the recurring suspense levels at their highest. Joel and Ethan Coen persistently manage to keep the feeling of desperation alive until the ending due to the fact Anton Chigurh’s actions leave one longing for the truth.


Work Cited No Country for Old Men.

Dir. Joel Coen and Ethan Coen. Perf. Tommy Lee Jones, Javier

Bardem, Josh Brolin, Woody Harrelson, and Kelly Macdonald.

200.

2007.

DVD.

Miramax,


What’s the Difference? My worst essay was “Exciting or Horrifying: How Do Humans Define Monster?” and I chose this to be my worst essay because there were many Picky Rules in there, one slang word, odd wording, and unclear ideas. Picky Rule #35 was the most popular one because I was talking about human’s views and it was easy to write “people” and “society.” My first sentence in my paper the word “people,” “Throughout history authors, movie producers, story tellers and regular people have been fascinated with the idea of a monster” (Ollanketo, paper 1). A important rule I forgot was to italicize article titles, “ In Asma’s Monster and the Moral Imagination, he describes scenarios and certain time periods in which monsters have more popularity; Carroll’s Nightmare and the Horror film explains how a monster is “made” in movies and the different characteristics monsters have” (Ollanketo, paper 1); this rule is Picky Rule #15. In the next two sentences I use an awkward to end the sentence, a slang word forget to italicize a title and the word “people”, “Carroll also tells us different themes in movies are popular at different times in history, and our tolerance has built up over time because in the past, movies were silent or in black and white and how movies have music, special effects and story likes that make people quiver. The movies nowadays are less sensitive to the audience and when The Exorcist came out people love and feared it because it was a new kind of scare” (Ollanketo, paper 1). In conclusion, this was my worst essay because of the great amount of errors I had. My best essay was “Symbolism of Fear throughout No Country for Old Men” and I chose this to be my best essay because we put a lot of thought into this essay and it had errors, but more unclear ideas. As far as the Picky Rules go we used # 34 which is “due to the fact”and #35 which is “everyone”. There was a wordy sentences, “…when the Coen Brothers show Chigurh he has a shadow across his face.” In our last paragraph we used an awkward work choice, “The directors


deliver the sensation of desperation and hopelessness throughout the entire film� (Ollanketo, paper 2). Our whole paper consisted on the movie and we left out some examples to support ideas, for example we say, “The directors long for this feel because being in the desert bestows a sense of hopelessness and desperation� (Ollanketo, paper 2) and we did not provide an example of hopelessness and desperation. The differences between my two papers are huge because the ideas of the papers are different. My worst essay was about reading two articles and finding similarities within them and my best essay was about watching a movie, finding things inside the movie which makes it scary, weird, or interesting and supporting them with examples from the movie. My worst essay was my first essay of the semester and I feel if I used the Picky Rules more the paper would have been much better. In my best essay I feel our ideas were clearer, but our problem was using examples from the movie to support our ideas. Grammar and organization was a problem in both essays, but I feel the best essay was better. Throughout the semester, I feel my essays gained more points because my professor gave more tools, ideas, and help which made me want to work harder since I had the tools.


Stefani Ollanketo English 1102 / Redding Paper One - Synthesis 30 January 2012

Exciting or Horrifying: How Do Humans Define Monsters? Throughout history authors, movie producers, and storytellers, and regular people have been fascinated with the idea of a monster. People may ask questions like, “What exactly is a

Comment [S1]: Changed this because it was on the PR list and it sounds better without “regular people” in the sentence because it is not a certain person like the ones listed before.

monster?” or “How does one describe the word monster with a single word?” Authors like Stephen T. Asma, author of “Monsters and the Moral Imagination” and Noel Carroll, author of “Nightmare and the Horror Film: The Symbolic Biology of Fantastic Beings” have written books and articles describing society’s somewhat obsession with monsters. In Asma’s Monsters and the

Comment [S2]: Another PR and the word seems as though I am questioning myself.

Moral Imagination, he describes scenarios and certain time periods in which monsters have more

Formatted: Font: Italic

popularity; Carroll’s article Nightmare and the Horror film explains how in what manner a

Comment [S3]: This sentence sounds so much more intelligent with the new words.

monster is “made” in movies and the different characteristics monsters have. Both articles

Formatted: Font: Italic

present intelligent and interesting information about monsters, both Asma and Carroll argue that a culture’s definition of a “monster” varies depending on upon the context of their culture. but

Comment [S4]: This makes more sense to me then the last sentence I wrote.

society’s definition of a monster varies depending on their culture. OneYou would not image humanity society turning to monsters as a safe ground after an

Comment [S5]: Both are grammatical errors

economic downfall or a terrorist attack, but in “Monsters and the Moral Imagination” it is the exact thing which happens. society does just that. For instance, Asma say, “Monsters are one the rise. People can’t seem to get enough of vampires lately, and zombies have a new lease on life” (Asma 1). Asma explains the thought of monsters as something people can control and after

Comment [S6]: Used “society” too much and the new sentence sounds better.


experiencing a traumatic event, the thought of controlling something spreads like wildfire because as Asma says, “In a significance sense, monsters are a part of our attempt to envision the good life or at least the secure life (Asma 2). In instances where someone is trying to take your one’s control away, people then other humanssee their own kind as a monster and not a slimy,

Comment [S7]: Needed clarifying.

massive, horrifying creature. Society’s view on monsters instantly changes when certain events take placehappen in their towna place familiar place; one moment a town can be quiet and then

Comment [S8]: Also needed clarification.

the next moment everyone is afraid to walk out their door because a serial killer is on the loose. Horror films have captured audience’s attention and love for centuries and they continue to fascinate all cultures. In Carroll’s article, he tells the reader there is a cycle of horror films by stating, “The present cycle, like the horror cycle of the thirties and science fiction cycle of the fifties, comes a particular kind of moment in American history-one where feelings of paralysis, helplessness, and vulnerability prevail” (Carroll 16). Every time period, every culture, and even every continent find different things scary based on history around them and stories or myths popular to their time, region, or culture. Carroll also tells us different themes in movies are popular at different times in history, and our tolerance has built up over time because in the past, movies were silent or in black and white and now movies have music, special effects, and story lines that make people’s spine tingle with fear. quiver. The movies nowadays now are less

Comment [S9]: Awkward word choice, so I changed it to make the sentence make more sense.

sensitive to the audience and when The Exorcist came out peopleindividuals loved and feared it

Formatted: Font: Italic

because it was a new kind of scare. Carroll says, “The spectacle of possession addressed and reflected profound fears and desires never before explored in film” (Carroll 18). With time there comes change and people now are desensitized to horror films from the past because our everyday life is scarier than a movie.


Asma and Carroll have intelligent background knowledge on monsters and their points presented in their writings correlate at times when talking about vampires and Frankenstein. Both authors describe vampires as nocturnal, sexual creatures relentlessly looking for helpless victims for their blood. The sucking of the blood is looked at as “repressed sexuality, oral sadism, and necrophilia” (Carroll 17) and vampires have stayed the same over centuries. As for Frankenstein, people use this name to reference anger and as Asma says, “In our liberal culture, we dramatize the rage of the monstrous creature and Frankenstein’s is a good example--then we scold ourselves and our “intolerant society” for alienating the outcast in the first place” (Asma 1). Everyone Our culture sees Dracula as a bad guy and the word Frankenstein gives us a negative image because our culture has passed the views down from generation to generation. History plays an important role when talking about monsters because over time stories build and change with the time periods. Kids use to fear the Boogieman under their bed, but now they fear playing outside alone because times have changed and so has society. In the United Kingdom they banned the movie, “The Human Centipede Full Sequence” out of movie theaters and DVDs. In the United States, the movie was allowed viewingto be viewed and was sold on DVD; countries differ when it comes to horror films. Many times people our culture hasve said “foreign films are worse than American made films,” so one would not expect the U.K. to ban the movie if foreigners are used to horrid movies.but why then did the U.K. ban this movie if “foreigners” are used to horrid movies? The answerThe reality is the

Comment [S10]: Took out the question and made a statement instead. It supported the sentences above.

difference between cultures and how much acceptance will be allowed; Americans flock to foreign movies because they have reputations for having the best horror films, so one would imagine foreigners thinking the same about our movies because the style is different. but what if “foreigners” think the same about our movies? A twenty-one year old German boy who visited

Comment [S11]: Again, changed a question to a statement to support my paragraph.


my family a week ago said something very interesting after I was explaining my English 1102 class, “If someone in Germany is accused of being a rapist they will be in jail for a few months without any real punishments. I know here in the U.S. they will forever be in the system. Americans take things more seriously and therefore a monster in Germany is a lot different than here.� (Florian Gutierrez Merino). No matter how one defines spells it, the feeling of being scared is universal to all humans, but the definition of a monster changes with one’s outlook on life, history, and more importantly, culture.

Comment [S12]: This statement is a supporter to my whole paragraph.


Asma, Stephen T. Monsters and the Moral Imagination. Web. 19 January 2012 Carroll, Noel. Nightmare and the Horror Film: The Symbolic Biology of Fantastic Beings. Film Quarterly. Web. Spring 1981. 18 January 2012


Stefani Ollanketo English 1102 / Redding Paper One - Synthesis 30 January 2012

Exciting or Horrifying: How Do Humans Define Monsters? Throughout history authors, movie producers, and storytellers have been fascinated with the idea of a monster. People may ask questions like, “What exactly is a monster?” or “How does one describe the word monster with a single word?” Authors like Stephen T. Asma, author of “Monsters and the Moral Imagination” and Noel Carroll, author of “Nightmare and the Horror Film: The Symbolic Biology of Fantastic Beings” have written books and articles describing society’s obsession with monsters. In Asma’s Monsters and the Moral Imagination, he describes scenarios and certain time periods in which monsters have more popularity; Carroll’s article Nightmare and the Horror film explains in what manner a monster is “made” in movies and the different characteristics monsters have. Both articles present intelligent and interesting information about monsters, both Asma and Carroll argue that a culture’s definition of a “monster” varies depending on upon the context of their culture. One would not image humanity turning to monsters as a safe ground after an economic downfall or a terrorist attack, but in “Monsters and the Moral Imagination” it is the exact thing which happens.. For instance, Asma say, “Monsters are one the rise. People can’t seem to get enough of vampires lately, and zombies have a new lease on life” (Asma 1). Asma explains the thought of monsters as something people can control and after experiencing a traumatic event, the thought of controlling something spreads like wildfire because as Asma says, “In a


significance sense, monsters are a part of our attempt to envision the good life or at least the secure life (Asma 2). In instances where someone is trying to take one’s control away, people then other humans as a monster and not a slimy, massive, horrifying creature. Society’s view on monsters instantly changes when certain events happen in a place familiar place; one moment a town can be quiet and then the next moment everyone is afraid to walk out their door because a serial killer is on the loose. Horror films have captured audience’s attention and love for centuries and they continue to fascinate all cultures. In Carroll’s article, he tells the reader there is a cycle of horror films by stating, “The present cycle, like the horror cycle of the thirties and science fiction cycle of the fifties, comes a particular kind of moment in American history-one where feelings of paralysis, helplessness, and vulnerability prevail” (Carroll 16). Every time period, every culture, and even every continent find different things scary based on history around them and stories or myths popular to their time, region, or culture. Carroll also tells us different themes in movies are popular at different times in history, and our tolerance has built up over time because in the past, movies were silent or in black and white and now movies have music, special effects, and story lines that make people’s spine tingle with fear.. The movies now are less sensitive to the audience and when The Exorcist came out individuals loved and feared it because it was a new kind of scare. Carroll says, “The spectacle of possession addressed and reflected profound fears and desires never before explored in film” (Carroll 18). With time there comes change and people now are desensitized to horror films from the past because our everyday life is scarier than a movie. Asma and Carroll have background knowledge on monsters and their points presented in their writings correlate at times when talking about vampires and Frankenstein. Both authors


describe vampires as nocturnal, sexual creatures relentlessly looking for helpless victims for their blood. The sucking of the blood is looked at as “repressed sexuality, oral sadism, and necrophilia” (Carroll 17) and vampires have stayed the same over centuries. As for Frankenstein, people use this name to reference anger and as Asma says, “In our liberal culture, we dramatize the rage of the monstrous creature and Frankenstein’s is a good example--then we scold ourselves and our “intolerant society” for alienating the outcast in the first place” (Asma 1). Our culture sees Dracula as a bad guy and the word Frankenstein gives us a negative image because our culture has passed the views down from generation to generation. History plays an important role when talking about monsters because over time stories build and change with the time periods. Kids use to fear the Boogieman under their bed, but now they fear playing outside alone because times have changed and so has society. In the United Kingdom they banned the movie, “The Human Centipede Full Sequence” out of movie theaters and DVDs. In the United States, the movie was allowed viewing and was sold on DVD; countries differ when it comes to horror films. Many times our culture has said “foreign films are worse than American made films,” so one would not expect the U.K. to ban the movie if foreigners are used to horrid movies. The reality is the difference between cultures and how much acceptance will be allowed; Americans flock to foreign movies because they have reputations for having the best horror films, so one would imagine foreigners thinking the same about our movies because the style is different. A twenty-one year old German boy who visited my family a week ago said something very interesting after I was explaining my English 1102 class, “If someone in Germany is accused of being a rapist they will be in jail for a few months without any real punishments. I know here in the U.S. they will forever be in the system. Americans take things more seriously and therefore a monster in Germany is a lot different than


here� (Florian Gutierrez Merino). No matter how one defines it, the feeling of being scared is universal to all humans, but the definition of a monster changes with one’s outlook on life, history, and more importantly, culture.


Asma, Stephen T. Monsters and the Moral Imagination. Web. 19 January 2012 Carroll, Noel. Nightmare and the Horror Film: The Symbolic Biology of Fantastic Beings. Film Quarterly. Web. Spring 1981. 18 January 2012


Allie Arp & Stefani Ollanketo English 1102 Mrs. Redding Film Analysis February 27, 2012 Symbolism of Fear tThroughout No Country for Old Men In many situations throughout the film No Country for Old Men, fear inevitably encroaches on every character in conflict with Anton Chigurh. The sense of “you cannot stop what is coming” surrounds the characters everyone throughout the film as well as the feeling of

Comment [GSC1]: PR # 35! It specifies who I am addressing instead of being too broad.

hopelessness filling the air. Throughout the story Anton Chigurh, a devious and inhumane

Comment [GSC2]: Did not need this in the beginning of the sentence.

character, ruthlessly murders others for his personal gain. Fear radiates off of Chigurh conveys fear onto everyone who comes in contact with him. The Coen Brothers adamantly directly prove Chigurh’s radiation of fear onto others by their use of cinematograpichy techniques. In No Country for Old Men, the Coen brothers use color, close up angles, and out-of-frame off frame

Comment [GSC3]: At first, the sentence was saying Chigurh felt fear, but when I changed the sentence it actually says people are fearful of him.

Comment [GSC4]: Wrong choice of wording.

action to indicate the power of fear Anton Chigurh exerts on his victims. In each of Anton Chigurh’s scenes, the Coen Brothers apply a blanket of dark, yellow coloring across the scene with the use of the camera and lighting. In the scene with Chigurh and the convenient store owner, the lighting all around them is yellow and the background behind the store owner is just barren, dusty land which symbolizes his with chances with Chigurh. The

Comment [S5]: Added a scene from the movie to strengthen my paragraphs.

Coen Brothers chose to apply this effect due to the factbecause yellow is a symbolizes for fear. Some characters in the film tend to have a lighter blue coloring in their scenes until they come in contact with Chigurh. In Carson’s first scene he appears to be bright and very clear on screen, but in the hotel room scene with Chigurh his aura is yellow and dark. In addition to the yellow

Comment [S6]: Added another example from the movie to back up my argument.


coloring on the scenes, the Coen Brothers incorporated the technique of shadowing. Throughout the whole film, many times as soon as when the Coen Brothers show Chigurh’s face he has a shadow across it. his face. As he came in contact with each of the actor or actresses, they too have a shadow across their face. The Coen brothers incorporate the effect of shadowing to show

Comment [GSC7]: Changed the sentence because the word selection was odd and made the sentence sound awkward.

the fear Anton Chigurh brings out in the characters. people; the effect allots one a sinister feeling while watching the film. The Coen Brothers use the color yellow to illustrate fear and as well as complete the setting. as well as show fear.The dry colorless environment of No Country for Old

Comment [GSC8]: Changed the sentence around to fit with the transitioning of the paper.

Men establishes the setting as a desert prairie in Southwest Texas. The yellow setting provides a

Formatted: Font: Italic

dirty, sandy, hot, dry feel as if being in the desert. The directors long for this feel because being in a desert bestows a sense of hopelessness and desperation. The enormous amount of emotion fear delivered throughout No Country for Old Men demonstrates the effects Chigurh inflicts upon his victims. The emotions shown throughout this film consist of fear, anxiety, intensity and weariness. The directors capture every facial expression and emotion by using closeupclose-up shots. In the film, Chigurh and Carson have an

Comment [GSC9]: Grammatical error.

intense scene in a hotel room. The camera primarily focuses on the men’s faces until the camera pans down onto Chigurh’s lap and shows his gun. In an effort to display the emotion provided in the film, the Coen Brothers choose to use the technique of camera angles. Throughout the film, the directors choose to focus elsewhere when a main character is killed rather than on their death. Joel and Ethan use this technique to portray the deaths through Chigurh’s mind since he kills without remorse. never focus on any of the main characters death; illustrating Anton Chigurh as a merciless killer to anyone in his path. Every character in Chigurh’s way ends up having a horrible termination. The directors did not show the death scenes, therefore, the deaths seem unimportant and they are out of frame action. One of the main characters, Llewellyn, is killed in

Comment [GSC10]: Changed the whole meaning of this sentence to explain how Chigurh kills anyone without feeling and the camera angle is based on his mind because the camera does not show a main character’s actual death scene.


a hotel room,room; however, the death is never shown; the only fact proven shows Llewellyn’s dead body covered in blood lying on the floor. The directors reasoning behind the out of frame action is the assumption one thinks about Chigurh murdering LlewelynLlewellyn. Based on the actions on the screen, one cannot detect the actual killer. The camera angles, out of frame action and closeupsclose-ups demonstrated the powerful fear Chigurh exerted onto his victims throughout the film. The Coen Brothers capture the audience’s attention in this film by intelligently shooting intense scenes. In these scenes the camera moved rapidly back and forth between multiple characters. The directors used this technique to portray the amount of intensity and focus the characters engaged in during their encounters. Anton Chigurh initiated contact with Llewellyn’s wife, Carla Jean, and during their conversation the camera switched swiftly back and forth between the two characters as each one spoke. Carla Jean’s character always appears brightly lit on screen, yet during the scene with Anton she also has the yellow coloring and a shadow across her face as said beforehand. Carla Jean’s new coloring in the scene verified the coloring technique previously stated. Another rapidly moving camera scene included Llewellyn and Anton. Although the two men had a door as a barrier between them, the camera continued to be fast moving. Llewellyn rapidly sat up in bed, rifle in hand, while Anton stood outside his door. The dark, yellow light from the room on Llewellyn’s face makes him appear scared and nervous; just as Llewellyn thinks he has the situation under control, Anton quickly changes Llewellyn’s mind as he turns the hallway light off. Anton turns the hallway light off to reassure Llewellyn he took back the control. The intensity throughout this film, is so evidently portrayed by the use of rapid scene changing, which ultimately influences the director’s motive behind the realistic behavior the Coen Brothers are trying to expose.


The film No Country for Old Men, greatly provides the impression reoccurring feeling of

Formatted: Font: Not Italic

fear. The Coen brothers deliver the feeling of fear throughout the use of cinematography. These techniques are provided to consistently evenly portray the powerful effects of Anton Chigurh. Chigurh’s personality reassures his victims of the notion “you cannot stop what is coming.” The directors deliver the awareness sensation of desperation and hopelessness throughout the entire film. The filming techniques useddemonstrated, portray the character’s emotions in a way which

Comment [GSC11]: Changed the wording.

gives a sense of unity with the characters. The lighting in No Country for Old Men varies

Comment [GSC12]: Cannot sound as though the audience’s opinion is in our thoughts on our paper.

between the colors yellow and light blue, but depending on the characters on screen it changes.

Comment [GSC13]: Same as comment above.

Chigurh is the ultimate factor in which the color on the scenes change. The director’s camera angles, shadowing and out of frame action leave the scenes with just enough information to keep the recurring suspense levels at their highest. Joel and Ethan Coen persistently manage to keep the feeling of desperation alive until the ending thus delivering a sense of unknowingness based off of due to the fact Anton Chigurh’s actions. leave one longing for the truth.

Comment [GSC14]: Sounded wrong after rereading it! Changed the wording around to illustrate the final meaning of our paper.


Work Cited No Country for Old Men.

Dir. Joel Coen and Ethan Coen. Perf. Tommy Lee Jones, Javier

Bardem, Josh Brolin, Woody Harrelson, and Kelly Macdonald.

200.

2007. DVD.

Miramax,

Formatted: Font: Italic


Allie Arp & Stefani Ollanketo English 1102 Mrs. Redding Film Analysis February 27, 2012 Symbolism of Fear throughout No Country for Old Men In many situations throughout the film No Country for Old Men, fear inevitably encroaches on every character in conflict with Anton Chigurh. The sense of “you cannot stop what is coming” surrounds the characters throughout the film as well as the feeling of hopelessness filling the air. Anton Chigurh, a devious and inhumane character, ruthlessly murders others for his personal gain. Chigurh conveys fear onto everyone who comes in contact with him. The Coen Brothers directly prove Chigurh’s radiation of fear onto others by their use of cinematograpic techniques. In No Country for Old Men, the Coen brothers use color, close up angles, and out-of-frame action to indicate the power of fear Anton Chigurh exerts on his victims. In each of Anton Chigurh’s scenes, the Coen Brothers apply a blanket of dark, yellow coloring across the scene with the use of the camera and lighting. In the scene with Chigurh and the convenient store owner, the lighting all around them is yellow and the background behind the store owner is just barren, dusty land which symbolizes his with chances with Chigurh. The Coen Brothers chose to apply this effect because yellow is a symbol for fear. Some characters in the film tend to have a lighter blue coloring in their scenes until they come in contact with Chigurh. In Carson’s first scene he appears to be bright and very clear on screen, but in the hotel room scene with Chigurh his aura is yellow and dark. In addition to the yellow coloring on the


scenes, the Coen Brothers incorporated the technique of shadowing. Throughout the film, many times as soon as the Coen Brothers show Chigurh’s face he has a shadow across it. As he came in contact with each of the actor or actresses, they too have a shadow across their face. The Coen brothers incorporate the effect of shadowing to show the fear Anton Chigurh brings out in the characters. The Coen Brothers use the color yellow to illustrate fear and as well as complete the setting. The dry colorless environment of No Country for Old Men establishes the setting as a desert prairie in Southwest Texas. The yellow setting provides a dirty, sandy, hot, dry feel as if being in the desert. The directors long for this feel because being in a desert bestows a sense of hopelessness and desperation. The enormous amount of fear delivered throughout No Country for Old Men demonstrates the effects Chigurh inflicts upon his victims. The emotions shown throughout this film consist of fear, anxiety, intensity and weariness. The directors capture every facial expression and emotion by using close-up shots. In the film, Chigurh and Carson have an intense scene in a hotel room. The camera primarily focuses on the men’s faces until the camera pans down onto Chigurh’s lap and shows his gun. In an effort to display the emotion provided in the film, the Coen Brothers choose to use the technique of camera angles. Throughout the film, the directors choose to focus elsewhere when a main character is killed rather than on their death. Joel and Ethan use this technique to portray the deaths through Chigurh’s mind since he kills without remorse. Every character in Chigurh’s way ends up having a horrible termination. The directors did not show the death scenes, therefore, the deaths seem unimportant and they are out of frame action. One of the main characters, Llewellyn, is killed in a hotel room; however, the death is never shown; the only fact proven shows Llewellyn’s dead body covered in blood lying on the floor. The directors reasoning behind the out of frame action is the assumption one thinks


about Chigurh murdering Llewellyn. Based on the actions on the screen, one cannot detect the actual killer. The camera angles, out of frame action and close-ups demonstrated the powerful fear Chigurh exerted onto his victims throughout the film. The Coen Brothers capture the audience’s attention in this film by intelligently shooting intense scenes. In these scenes the camera moved rapidly back and forth between multiple characters. The directors used this technique to portray the amount of intensity and focus the characters engaged in during their encounters. Anton Chigurh initiated contact with Llewellyn’s wife, Carla Jean, and during their conversation the camera switched swiftly back and forth between the two characters as each one spoke. Carla Jean’s character always appears brightly lit on screen, yet during the scene with Anton she also has the yellow coloring and a shadow across her face as said beforehand. Carla Jean’s new coloring in the scene verified the coloring technique previously stated. Another rapidly moving camera scene included Llewellyn and Anton. Although the two men had a door as a barrier between them, the camera continued to be fast moving. Llewellyn rapidly sat up in bed, rifle in hand, while Anton stood outside his door. The dark, yellow light from the room on Llewellyn’s face makes him appear scared and nervous; just as Llewellyn thinks he has the situation under control, Anton quickly changes Llewellyn’s mind as he turns the hallway light off. Anton turns the hallway light off to reassure Llewellyn he took back the control. The intensity throughout this film is so evidently portrayed by the use of rapid scene changing, which ultimately influences the director’s motive behind the realistic behavior the Coen Brothers are trying to expose. The film No Country for Old Men greatly provides the impression of fear. The Coen brothers deliver the feeling of fear throughout the use of cinematography. These techniques are provided to consistently portray the powerful effects of Anton Chigurh. Chigurh’s personality


reassures his victims of the notion “you cannot stop what is coming.” The directors deliver the awareness of desperation and hopelessness throughout the entire film. The filming techniques demonstrated portray emotions which gives a sense of unity with the characters. The lighting in No Country for Old Men varies between the colors yellow and light blue, but depending on the characters on screen it changes. Chigurh is the ultimate factor in which the color on the scenes change. The director’s camera angles, shadowing and out of frame action leave the scenes with just enough information to keep the recurring suspense levels at their highest. Joel and Ethan Coen persistently manage to keep the feeling of desperation alive until the ending thus delivering a sense of unknowingness based off of Anton Chigurh’s actions.


Work Cited No Country for Old Men.Dir. Joel Coen and Ethan Coen.

Perf. Tommy Lee Jones, Javier

Bardem, Josh Brolin, Woody Harrelson, and Kelly Macdonald.

200.

2007.

DVD.

Miramax,


Stefani Ollanketo Professor Redding English 1102 May 2, 2012 Through My Friend’s Looking Glass: Reflecting a New Me Ruth Padawer shares many stories about women in “The Two-Minus-One Pregancy,” by relating powerful decisions women had to make about their pregnancies. After going through numerous medical treatments to become impregnated, women having twin or triplet pregnancies had to make the agonizing choice to reduce the embryo to a singleton. In her article “The TwoMinus-One Pregnancy,” Ruth Padawer tells many stories of women having twin or triplet pregnancies reduced to a singleton, after going through numerous medical treatments to impregnate them. Some women were hesitant aboutdistraught about reducing to a singleton, because both of the babies inside of them were perfectly fine. and they didn’t did not want to live with the guilt of killing one over the other. Ruth Ms. Padawer presents information about the positive and negative sides of reduction to a singleton, but Ruth herself says that she as even Ms. Padawer found out that she had become pregnant with twins after she had a traumatic episode

Comment [TCU1]: My topic/hook sentence was too weak. I wanted to improve the choice of words in order to make my point clearer. I focused, especially, on the adjectives. I changed my clause “After going through…” to the beginning of the sentence instead of the end to make the thought flow better for the reader. Comment [TCU2]: Again, I wanted my point to be clearer by emphasizing how agonizing these decisions were for these women; therefore, I used “distraught” as a stronger word. A comma was also added here, because I had two independent clauses that should be linked by a conjunction.

where she cramped and bled;. fFor a few days she thought about giving one up for adoption, but

Comment [TCU3]: I decided to end this sentence to avoid it being too long and wordy.

Ms. Padawer decided to deliver and keep her twins. nNow she has three amazing kids and she

Comment [TCU4]: Do not use contractions in formal essays. Comment [GSC5]: PR #18

says shares , “There’s no doubt that life with twins and a third child so close in age has often felt all-consuming and out of control. And yet the thought of not having any one of them is unbearable now, because they are no longer shadowy fetuses but full-fledged human beings whom I love in a huge and aching way.” This article is about older women taking the easy way out of raising twins or triplets, with a few health exceptions, but young adults are dealing with a

Comment [TCU6]: Do not use first names of people who are personally unknown.


similar problem. Ms. Padawar emphasizes that women and couples of all ages often have to make such important decisions that will affect them for the rest of their lives. Many young couples become pregnant and don’t do not know in what way to handle

Comment [GSC7]: PR #18

what to do about it the pregnancy, because a baby takes up 100% their time and focus. If When a

Comment [GSC8]: I used PR #28 throughout the entire paper!

couple becomes pregnant, they first have to decide to keep it the baby or not. and tThen they

Comment [TCU9]: Do not use “it.” Be more specific. I also added the comma that was needed here.

have to think about how their decision will affect their future. After a while, they either are relieved or regret their decision. An example that I experienced was Iin high school., I had a was good friends namedwith a girl named Tori and during our sophomore year; she got pregnant and had a very important decision to make for her future. She was just another As Ms. Padawer agrees Tori was another young girl having to make a this agonizing decision. that could have easily been avoided. While When couples are young and have to deal with that these situations,

Comment [GSC10]: PR #28

they are still naïve to the world and their effects of one decision. Choosing to have or not to have

Comment [TCU11]: Unclear. I needed to make this point clearer.

a baby is a big decision that could easily destroy a family or relationship. Everyone can makes a mistakes, and but sometimes, those mistakes can change other people’s lives by making helping them smarter learn from the bad experience. A friendship can be tested, however, if one does not appear to learn from her error in judgement. Tori was happened to be the kind of girl who liked to go out with older people and party. It hurts after when someone you one are is close to makes you regret letting them into your life. Tori was the kind of girl who liked to go out with older people and party. She started dating a

Comment [TCU12]: This transitional sentence prepares the reader for the fact that Tori and I may not be good friends now and why. Comment [GSC13]: PR #28 Comment [TCU14]: I thought this sentence would be a better topic sentence as I want to address to the reader that Tori did not change after her experience. Comment [TCU15]: Better word.

guy who was a couple of years older and a complete loser because he did not work. After dating

Comment [TCU16]: I moved this sentence.

for a couple of months, Tori got pregnant and became was devastated. She didn’t did not want to

Comment [GSC17]: PR #18

tell anyone, but I told advised her she needed to let her to tell her family and boyfriend know. She Tori told her mom the next day and came to school with a decision. In our class we had


together, we talked about the night before decision she had made to have and she said she decided that an abortion. It appeared that Tori felt this was the best choice for her and her

Comment [S18]: This sentence seemed too wordy and I felt the new sentence makes more sense. I feel the new sentence makes more sense to the reader and is not as confusing.

boyfriend. I told her that she was tookaking the easy and irresponsible way out, but she Tori didn’t did not seem to care. A week later, she was in the hospital getting having an abortion. Her mother stayed was gung-ho for it supportive of her decision, but her stepfather was not. n’t even

Comment [S19]: The wording in this sentence was bad, so I chose a more intelligent word choice.

there for her. See, Unfortunately, her stepdad went through experienced his girlfriend choosing to have an abortion the same thing ???? as a teenager with his girlfriend and never forgave her for it.; now that his daughter was doing the same thing, I wasn’t was not sure he would be able to forgive her Tori, either. Some things Circumstances happen in life that can change things ones’ life instantly. As Ms. Padawar reminds this reader, and some people learn from it their mistakes, while others never rise up from aborting their child. it. Friends will be there for you through thick and thin, but that doesn’t does not guarantee forever. A few weeks after her abortion, Tori went back to her old ways of drinking, partying and

Comment [S20]: The first sentence was worded wrong and I felt that the new sentence clarifies my meaning and even sounds better. The second part of the sentence talks about Tori’s father not being able to forgive her for her actions because of his past expericenes. Comment [S21]: In the article, Ms. Padawer discusses the differences of the women she interviewed; some women felt regret for their abortions and others went on with their lives as if nothing happened. This issue goes back to the moral issue of abortion in general. Comment [GSC22]: PR #18

being ridiculously irresponsible. Her boyfriend never knew was told about the abortion, but Tori said she did not love him anymore, was over him, and I knew she said it it was because the thought having his baby scared the life out of her. I texted her a lot many times and called, but I never heard back from her for a while;. oOne day I was at the mal,l and she was there getting clothes for the club. I went up to her and asked her why she was avoiding me; Tori looked at me and said, “I’m sick of you trying to be my mom, so let me do what I want and leave me alone.” Fury was my first emotion and then sadness sank in, because I was trying to save my friend for making another mistake,. but she Tori was oblivious to it and just wanted to see the negative.

Comment [TCU23]: Using her name instead of “she” emphasizes the fact that my friend meant much to me, and I did not like what she had become.

Ever since that day, Tori and I have not been as close as we were for seven years before all of this happened. I think she Tori felt so guilty for her actions doing what she did and drinking is

Comment [GSC24]: PR #28


the only way to numb the pain. I still wish the best for my friend, but her decision will always be with her., but uUntil she can handle that, she Tori will may be the same careless person I last saw. Mistakes can make or break someone, but others can also learn from someone’s mistakes. Tori acted very irresponsibly Bbefore, during, and after her abortion, Tori acted very irresponsibly, and from that witnessing her unfortunate experience, I learned by what means how

not see her wrongdoings that my friends and I saw. Tori didn’t not just change me; she also

Comment [S25]: Again, this sentence sounded wrong so I rearranged some words around to make the point clearer. Some words I chose also made the sentence sound more intelligent.

changed a lot many of our friend’s lives because of her actions. I think if Tori didn’t had not

Comment [GSC26]: PR #18

to make better decisions. Looking back at everything she did, it makes me sad that she could n’t

make made this mistake, a lot many of our friends would have been in the same predicament. After her abortion, many a lot of my friends got decided to choose a type ofon birth control, especially, and if they were sexually active., they We wanted to become more responsible adults. were being smarter about it. For me, I have been more responsible while when being romantic and if I ever feel myself slipping, Tori’s face pops into my head like a reminder. Another thing thought that changed me was seeing Tori’s dad’s face after when he found out that she was getting an abortion; I would never want to see my dad’s face like that, ever. After her abortion, Tori changed, and I was the only one who changed for the better which saddens is sad to me. If I could go back, I wish I could have changed her mind and maybe she would have matured. Taking something negative and turning it positive is the best way to change a life. A lot of Many young adults go through a situation like Tori’s, but there is a lot much to learn from mistakes like hers and many others. Being responsible and thinking about the future is more important than living in the moment and making a mistake that can change everything about someone’s life. Another one of my friends, Kaitlyn got pregnant a year after Tori had her


abortion, and she took the other direction. Even though a teen pregnancy isn’t is not showing responsibleility, Kaitlyn kept her baby and now has a small, wonderful family. She saw in what way how Tori acted irresponsible fell off the rocker after the abortion and didn’t did not want to

Comment [GSC27]: PR #28 Comment [GSC28]: PR #18

end up like her. Kaitlyn is a just another example of someone who saw her own friend a mistake, made one of her own, but decided to be responsible about it. As in Ms. Padawer’s article, the information she wrote makes her readers reflect on their own circumstances. This reflection made me think of my friends Tori and Kaitlyn and while Kaitlyn decided to have her baby, Tori decided on an abortion. These two friend’s actions made me think of important decisions I needed to make as a maturing women. Teen pregnancy is 100% preventable if the boyfriend and girlfriend stop and think about their future. Tori’s story is one among a million and taking something positive from her bad decision can only be helpful for those who want a better future.

Comment [S29]: I added a better concluding sentence as I felt like I did not bring my thoughts together, so I referred back to the article and wrapped up the conclusion.


Padawer, Ruth. “The Two-Minus-One Pregnancy.” The New York Times. The New York Times Company, 10 Aug. 2011.Web. 19 Oct. 2011


Stefani Ollanketo Professor Redding English 1102 May 2, 2012 Through My Friend’s Looking Glass: Reflecting a New Me Ruth Padawer shares many stories about women in “The Two-Minus-One Pregnancy,” by relating powerful decisions women had to make about their pregnancies. After going through numerous medical treatments to become impregnated, women having twinned or triplet pregnancies had to make the agonizing choice to reduce the embryo to a singleton. Some women were distraught about reducing to a singleton, because both of the babies inside of them were perfectly fine. They did not want to live with the guilt of killing one over the other. Ms. Padawer presents information about the positive and negative sides of reduction to a singleton, as even Ms. Padawer found out that she had become pregnant with twins after she had a traumatic episode where she cramped and bled. For a few days she thought about giving one up for adoption, but Ms. Padawer decided to deliver and keep her twins. Now she has three amazing kids and she shares, “There’s no doubt that life with twins and a third child so close in age has often felt all-consuming and out of control. And yet the thought of not having any one of them is unbearable now, because they are no longer shadowy fetuses but full-fledged human beings whom I love in a huge and aching way.” Ms. Padawer emphasizes that women and couples of all ages often have to make such important decisions that will affect them for the rest of their lives. Many young couples become pregnant and do not know in what way to handle the pregnancy, because a baby takes up 100% their time and focus. If a couple becomes pregnant, they first have to decide to keep the baby or not. Then they have to think about how their


decision will affect their future. After a while, they either are relieved or regret their decision. An example that I experienced was in high school. I had a good friend named Tori during our sophomore year; she got pregnant and had a very important decision to make for her future. As Ms. Padawer agrees Tori was another young girl having to make this agonizing decision. While couples are young and have to deal with these situations, they are still naïve to the world. Choosing to have or not to have a baby is a big decision that could easily destroy a family or relationship. Everyone can make a mistake, but sometimes those mistakes can change other people’s lives by helping them learn from the experience. A friendship can be tested, however, if one does not appear to learn from her error in judgment. Tori happened to be the kind of girl who liked to go out with older people and party. It hurts after someone is close to makes you regret into your life. She started dating a guy a couple of years older and a complete loser because he did not work. After dating for a couple of months, Tori got pregnant and became devastated. She did not want to tell anyone, but I advised her to tell her family and boyfriend. Tori told her mom the next day and came to school with a decision. In our class we had together, we talked about the decision she had made to have an abortion. It appeared that Tori felt this was the best choice for her and her boyfriend. I told her she took the easy and irresponsible way out, but Tori did not seem to care. A week later, she was in the hospital having an abortion. Her mother stayed supportive of her decision, but her stepfather was not. Unfortunately, her stepdad experienced his girlfriend choosing to have an abortion as a teenager and never forgave her for it. I was not sure he would be able to forgive Tori, either. Circumstances happen that can change ones’ life instantly. As Ms. Padawer reminds this reader, some people learn from their mistakes, while others never rise up from aborting their child. Friends will be there for you through thick and thin, but that does not guarantee forever. A


few weeks after her abortion, Tori went back to her old ways of drinking, partying and being ridiculously irresponsible. Her boyfriend never knew about the abortion, but Tori said she did not love him anymore, and I knew she said it because the thought having his baby scared her. I texted her many times and called, but I never heard back from her for a while. One day I was at the mall and she was there getting clothes for the club. I went up to her and asked her why she was avoiding me; Tori looked at me and said, “I’m sick of you trying to be my mom, so let me do what I want and leave me alone.” Fury was my first emotion and then sadness sank in, because I was trying to save my friend for making another mistake. Tori were oblivious to it and just wanted to see the negative. Ever since that day, Tori and I have not been as close as we were for seven years before all of this happened. I think Tori felt so guilty for her actions and drinking is the only way to numb the pain. I still wish the best for my friend, but her decision will always be with her. Until she can handle that, Tori may be the same careless person I last saw. Mistakes can make or break someone, but others can also learn from someone’s mistakes. Before, during, and after her abortion, Tori acted very irresponsibly, and from witnessing her unfortunate experience, I learned by what means to make better decisions. Looking back at everything she did, it makes me sad that she could not see her wrongdoings that my friends and I saw. Tori did not just change me; she also changed many of our friend’s lives because of her actions. I think if Tori had not made this mistake, many of our friends would have been in the same predicament. After her abortion, many of my friends decided to choose a type of birth control, especially, if they were sexually active. We wanted to become more responsible adults. For me, I have been more responsible while being romantic and if I ever feel myself slipping, Tori’s face pops into my head like a reminder. Another thought that changed me was seeing Tori’s dad’s face after he found out that she was getting an abortion; I would never want to see


my dad’s face like that, ever. After her abortion, Tori changed, and I was the only one who changed for the better which saddens me. If I could go back, I wish I could have changed her mind and maybe she would have matured. Taking something negative and turning it positive is the best way to change a life. Many young adults go through a situation like Tori’s, but there is much to learn from mistakes like hers and many others. Being responsible and thinking about the future is more important than living in the moment and making a mistake that can change everything about someone’s life. Another one of my friends, Kaitlyn got pregnant a year after Tori had her abortion, and she took the other direction. Even though a teen pregnancy is not showing responsibility, Kaitlyn kept her baby and now has a small, wonderful family. She saw in what way Tori acted irresponsible after the abortion and did not want to end up like her. Kaitlyn is a just another example of someone who saw her own friend a mistake, made one of her own, but decided to be responsible about it As in Ms. Padawer’s article, the information she wrote makes her readers reflect on their own circumstances. This reflection made me think of my friends Tori and Kaitlyn and while Kaitlyn decided to have her baby, Tori decided on an abortion. These two friend’s actions made me think of important decisions I needed to make as a maturing women.


Padawer, Ruth. “The Two-Minus-One Pregnancy.” The New York Times. The New York Times Company, 10 Aug. 2011.Web. 19 Oct. 2011

Mrs. Redding's English 1102 Final Portfolio  

Stefani Ollanketo's final portfolio for her English 1102 class. This portfolio has her best work, worst work, and a random essay from anothe...

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