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M . R . S H E F F I E L D - B R I E F I N S T RU C T I O N S

1. Remember to scout a place to dump the baby’s body. Something lush, preferably tropical so that the sun and humidity can do their work on the corpse. You want rich soil composition. You want a place with a lot of insects—maggots are preferred but not necessary. Fly larva, mosquito larva, ants, beetles, wasps, mites; basically, any of your classic saporphages will work. Frozen tundra is a bad choice—ice melts, and if it doesn’t, you won’t be able to dig into it. A canal is bad because some stubborn bodies fill up and float. This is a surefire way to call attention to the body. Under no circumstances should you call attention to the body.

2. When you’re giving birth to your soon-to-be-dead baby at your high school prom, please remember to hitch that $289 dress all the way up and over your hips, your torso, all the way up and over your tits. Otherwise it’s fucking murder to get those blood stains out. Otherwise you’re going to feel super fucking weird next time you wear it—oh no, you’ll say, I must’ve spilled something on it. How clumsy clumsy clumsy clumsy and they’ll know from your tone of voice and the awkward repetition that something is motherfucking up with you. 3. When you’re running from the ballroom at the Hilton, mascara all fucked up down your face and a nightmare of blood and guts and skin clutched in your thin and unlined hands, repeat this, a mantra for baby-killers: breathing in, I am breathing in; breathing out, I am breathing out; breathing in, I am breathing in; breathing out, I am breathing out; breathing in, I am running to the woods 17

Profile for SprinGun Press

Springgun Issue 8  

POEMS by CHRIS CAROSI LAURA MINOR BRITT GAMBINO SUSAN LEWIS SETH LANDMAN ADAM VEAL SALLY MOLINI FRANCESCO LOVATO LAUREN EGGERT-CROW...

Springgun Issue 8  

POEMS by CHRIS CAROSI LAURA MINOR BRITT GAMBINO SUSAN LEWIS SETH LANDMAN ADAM VEAL SALLY MOLINI FRANCESCO LOVATO LAUREN EGGERT-CROW...

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