Page 12

real possibility that you would have imagined three months ago) you will never get another date because folks will assume you are either pregnant and hiding it, or too poor to buy proper-fitting clothes. Of course there is nothing wrong with poor, but who wants to date someone without any money because who is going to pay for dinner and drinks and movies? And so you think she is really the perfect mate, because she knows how to save money, but then you realize, you are not poor at all, you are just ‘fasting’ and can seem to find no way around that.    You imagine that you have to eventually tell her that you need to spend more time with your friends, whom you feel you have been neglecting since the two of you started dating. ‘Since we are over the, you know, the honeymoon phase of things, since we don’t have to have sex all the time, I’d like to reconnect with my friends and make a point of hanging out with them some.’ Then you can arrange lunches and dinners and work on fitting back into your clothes.    Of course, just because you have a first or second date at the end of which she stays over and doesn’t make the bed in the morning, doesn’t mean she is going to make stir fry until you can eat it no more. Maybe, it could be theorized, this is the perfect person for you and she will make the bed and she will want to go out for burgers and you will be happy and do fun things and see plays and entertain friends and all of your friends will be jealous. Randomly drawn circles for example may be a sign of great things to come.You just have to consider it. These things happen, certainly, all the time; proof can be found on Oprah, or at least that’s what someone once said.


SpringGun | Issue 9 | 2014  

Kiik A.K. • Oxlip and Pearl • page 1 Chaim ben Avram • from the philadelphian talmud • page 2 Jill Darling • Laundry, and Other Domestic Adv...