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SPORTS QUIZ 1

How many weeks was Melbourne’s Nick Mrdja suspended for this week?

2 3

Which club did he play for before crossing to Melbourne?

4 5

How many total AFL games has he played?

Which Carlton forward injured his knee last week against the Swans?

Which Carlton player refused to shake Sydney’s Brett Kirk before last weeks game?

6

From which club did Fremantle rookie Michael Barlow get recruited from?

7 8 9 10

Why did Roger Federer pull out of the Dubai classic?

Oh poor girl! DESPITE the fact her entire family is coming out of the woodwork to say she’s a compulsive liar, Joslyn James and her attorney Gloria Allred held their own press conference in response to Tiger’s televised apology, according to E! News: “I would be open to a telephoned apology from Tiger but I really feel that I deserve to look at him in person, face to face, in the eyes because I did not deserve this,” the 32-yearold Top Heavy 4 star said. James said the Woods state-

ment felt fake. “An apology, one that was meaningful and that meant something, and I didn’t hear none of that,” James said. “He’s so selfish; it’s not about anybody but him. It didn’t feel like it was real. “Tiger pursued me over time and I fell in love with him and hold me he loved me,” she added, choking up. While Allred repeatedly mentioned how much emotional distress Tiger caused her client, she said she was not planning to file a lawsuit against the sports icon.

What are the chances? CHECK out Race 3 - Horses 11 and 12 from the form guide of last weeks Herald sun. As you can imagine, there was plenty of hilarity when the race caller read through the starting line up!!

Who won last Saturday’s Group 1 Oakleigh plate? Who was the winning jockey? Who won last weekends $1 million Blue Diamond Stakes? ANSWERS: 1. Two 2. Central Coast mariners 3. Brad Fisher 4. 98 5. Brock McLean

6. Werribee 7. Lung Infection 8. Starspangledban ner 9. Danny Nikolic 10. Star Witness

Pancake racers banned HEALTH and safety advisers have been slammed for banning contestants in a pancake race from running in case they fell over. Hundreds of spectators booed as the rule was announced at the start of the race in St Albans, reports the Daily Telegraph. St Albans City Council Tourism Manager

Charles Baker told contestants: “We have a new set of rules today. “Due to the wet weather conditions and health and safety regulations, in this year’s race, there will be no running allowed.” “Only walking is permitted. Any team that runs will be disqualified.” “It is a genuine health and safety concern. People fall over in the dry, they will certainly fall over in the wet.” Ten teams took part in the ‘Pancake Walk’, three of whom were disqualified for not following the new wet-weather rules. Hertfordshire NHS Community Partnership team captain David Emery, 34, whose team was disqualified in the final, said, “This is health and safety gone mad. I have been disqualified from a running race for running.”

England base a dump! FABIO Capello arrived in South Africa this week to find his World Cup training base is still a building site. The England manager came to attend a two-day workshop for all the World Cup coaches in Sun City and seized the chance to check the progress at the Bafokeng Sports Campus, 3,900ft above sea level, which he has selected as his team’s South African headquarters. Only half the rooms in the hotel are finished, the medical centre is far from complete, the new pitches look questionable and plans for an Olympic sized swimming pool have been shelved. Work on the clubhouse, which will include the players’ changing rooms, has yet to start even though the England squad are expected here in the first week of June to prepare for their Group C opener against the USA in nearby Rustenburg.

2 – HEARTBALM, FEBRUARY 25-MARCH 3, 2010

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Woods turns to Cheryl dumps Ashley Buddah? TIGER Woods promised to mend his ways last week - with the help of Buddhism. The golf superstar had tears in his eyes as he apologised for betraying wife Elin during flings with a string of women. In a 131/2-minute speech, Tiger, 34, said fame and fortune had led him to act as though he lived by different rules from his millions of fans. He confessed, “I was unfaithful. I had affairs. I cheated.” The winner of 14 golf majors said, “I was raised a Buddhist and I actively practised my faith from childhood until I drifted away from it in recent years. He admitted, “I stopped living by the core values that I was taught to believe in.” “I knew my actions were wrong, but I convinced myself that normal rules didn’t apply.” “I felt I had worked hard my entire life and deserved to enjoy all the temptations around me. Thanks to money and fame, I didn’t have to go far to find them.”

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CHERYL Cole confirmed she is splitting from husband Ashley this week. The short statement, the Girls Aloud singer said, “Cheryl Cole is separating from her husband Ashley Cole. Cheryl asks the media to respect her privacy during this difficult time.” The X Factor judge confirmed she is dumping Chelsea star Ashley, 29 - after he cheated on her with five girls. The singer had originally made up her mind last week but decided to fly over to Los Angeles to clear her head and get a different perspective. Cheryl texted Ashley last Sunday to tell him their marriage was over and to get out of the family home. He left the property - appropriately called Hurtmore House - in the early hours of Wednesday morning. Meanwhile, cheating Ashley is currently out of the Chelsea team with a broken ankle. A source said, “He is devastated and distraught. He is desperate for a reconciliation but knows in his heart he has lost her for good.” He and Cheryl wed in 2006 ó but in 2008 The Sun revealed he bedded hairdresser Aimee Walton, 22. Two weeks ago we told how he sent explicit photos of himself to model Sonia Wild, 28. Last Tuesday it was revealed he slept with Vicki Gough, 30, at a Chelsea team hotel ó and with American Ann Corbitt, 28, in Seattle. And this week Alexandra Taylor, 27, said he slept with her in 2004 ó after he and Cheryl had become an item.

Is this still cheating... FIFA are afraid that players at the World Cup could use undetectable stimulants derived from traditional African medicines that aren’t currently banned substances. F I FA m e d i c a l c o m m i t t e e chairman Michel D’Hooghe told The Associated Press he

wants the World Anti-Doping Agency to analyse some African plants that could give athletes an unfair advantage. D’Hooghe says he became aware of the extent of the issue at FIFA’s medical conference this weekend ahead of the Wo r l d C u p i n S o u t h A f r i c a ,

which starts June 11. South African team doctor Ntlopi Mogoru says the plants, usually found in tropical African countries like Ghana, can produce steroid byproducts that are not on WADA’s list and aren’t picked up in doping tests.

HEARTBALM, FEBRUARY 25-MARCH 3, 2010 –

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4 – HEARTBALM, FEBRUARY 25-MARCH 3, 2010

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Cheating Hollywood Wives

Fleshlight Girls Tera Patrick

Rocco: Animal Trainer 29

Studio: Private Category: All Sex Genre: Wives Stars: Jade Fire, Nina, Hartley, Rebeca, Linares, Sasha Gray, Tara Lynn Foxx, Tory Lane Run Time: 1hrs 45 minutes Number Of Discs: 1 Bonus Features: Interactive Menus,Chapter Selection, Website Information,Bonus Scenes, Trailers DIRECTED by Dave Naz and starring Sasha Grey, Jada Fire, Rebecca Linares, Tory Lane, Nina Hartley and Tara Lynn Foxx, Cheating Hollywood Wives is a film that truly appeals to lovers of hardcore porn. Sasha Grey appears in the first scene with a black dude with a massive meat stick. Sasha goes all out, sucking and riding this monster cock before taking the action one step further. She gets involved in some anal licking and I’m not talking about her arse, I’m talking about her licking his arse and may I say for a very long time. The film actually has a very anal feel about it with plenty of anal action seen throughout the film. Rebecca Linares gets double penetrated while Fire and Lane

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both take it up the arse. The threesome scene with Foxx and Hartley is aimed at Milf lovers with the two girls being cougars or should I say very experienced and horny cougars. These two ladies really know how to work a cock and do it with a smile on their faces which is always a great sight to see. The bonus features aren’t too bad with a bonus scene, photo galleries and cast profiles. So if you are looking for plenty of anal action and a quality Milf scene then cheating Hollywood Wives may just be the film for you. VERDICT:

Studio: Evil Angel Category: Gonzo Genre: Anal Director: Rocco Sifferdi Stars: Abbie Cat, Aletta Ocean, Aliz, Angelica Heart, Cristian, Harmony Rose, Marco Banderas, Mike, Omar Galanti Run Time: 2hrs 20 minutes Number Of Discs: 2 Bonus Features: Interactive Menus, Slide Show + more “I WANT to tell you a secret... I’ve always fantasized about giving you a chance to feel what its like to be deep inside me. As soon as I felt the Lotus texture on my soft, custom molded pussy, I knew I could finally fulfill that fantasy. And for those who want something extra special, the Twista texture, unique to my Tera Patrick Fleshlight will blow your mind. I can’t wait for you to feel me...” That’s a comment from famous porn star Tera Patrick and if that doesn’t turn you on then I just don’t know what will? Anyway with this Tera Patrick Fleshlight, you get to feel every one of Tera’s intimate folds ad curves. This Fleshlight was created from her actual body casting and cradled in an exclusive

pearlescent Fleshlight case. The Lotus texture begins with a smooth ultra tight entry that quickly blossoms to a slightly wider canal.Adding to this intimate fantasy is the inverted entry and four pleasures chambers, making this a texture unmatched in realism and sensation. So what does all that mean? Well it’s simply, using this Fleshlight will make you feel as though you as really giving it to Tera herself. Always practice safe sex. VERDICT:

DIRECTED by legendary director Rocco Siffredi, Rocco: Animal Trainer 29 is a film about cockadoring crazy girls running rampant, eager to impale themselves as deeply as possible on whatever maxium-sized man-meat the Italian Stallion’s recruited to drill them silly. Super-kinky and submissive Euroslits Aletta Ocean, Aliz and Abbie Cat just can’t stop sucking and gaping; All-American Florida native Harmony fits two huge cocks in her mouth before going for the ride of her life. Rocco: Animal Trainer 29 contains plenty of quality toy playing, smoking anal action and plenty of other wicked fetishes. While all of the scenes are great, one scene in particular stands out as it contains two brunette beauties in Aletta and Abbie. The two girls play with

some toys before getting a good work out by one of the luckiest men in the world in Omar. He shows up, gives the girls a close inspection and then gives them a pounding of a lifetime that sees him give it to them up the arse before cumming in their mouths. Can you believe he actually got paid to do that? As for the extra features, they include a 30-minute Behind The Scenes featurette, cast lists, biographies, filmographies and photo galleries. Overall yet another hit by the great Siffredi but as always, not really a film for the faint hearted as like all Rocco films, Rocco: Animal Trainer 29 is extremely hardcore. VERDICT:

HEARTBALM, FEBRUARY 25-MARCH 3, 2010 –

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6 – HEARTBALM, FEBRUARY 25-MARCH 3, 2010

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H e a r t b a l m

L OV E

L E T T E R S ♥

L OV E

are looking for a good time just like me? Heartbalm writes: Well mate you have to be straight forward with the girls. Tell them first up that your not looking for a relationship and that you just want her to help you get your dick wet. The other alternative is to play along with those relationship wanting girls, go out a few times, shag them and then dump them.

On my terms

Wanted man

Heartbalm writes: Well, in short you are being a bit unfair however we can see where your coming from. Not many guys would feel comfortable allowing another guy screwing your girl. You’re in a hard spot. If you really want a threesome, just put up with it, otherwise just forgot all about the idea.

Mr NV is 23 and wants to know why he always attracts girls who are looking for a relationship. He writes: Whenever I go out with the boys and am on the hunt for the ladies, I always seem to attract the same sort of girls. Things always start off well, however within minutes of meeting me they start talking about how they are looking for a

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Let’s talk it over

H e a r t b a l m

Mr PD is 46 and hates talking to his wife after sex. He writes: I have a loving wife and I am honestly lucky to have her. She is great with the kids and around the house and she has some incredible moves in the sack. Unfortunately there is something about her that I don’t really like and that is that she loves talking after sex. After a session in the sack, I like to chill out and unwind by either watching some TV in bed or simply turning over and falling asleep. I hate having to talk to my wife after blowing my load. Seriously why does she have to talk about it? Whenever I try to turn over or get out of talking, she cracks the shits with me and goes on to tell me about how insensitive I am. What can I do to fix this problem? guy who is ready to settle down instead of a guy who is out just looking for some fun. In fact one girl even started talking about dating and how she was a great cook and would love to cook me her specialty, which was some sort of pasta dish. This scares me to hell as all I’m looking for is a nice young girl to shag silly. How can I repel these relationship wanting girls and attract some horny sluts who

L OV E

L E T T E R S ♥

Mr SG is 25 and wants a threesome, but on his terms. He writes: I have been seeing this girl I know for about 7 months know and I’m ready to take our relationship to the next level. We have done practically everything there is to do in our sex life, although there is one thing we haven’t tried. We both agree that we would like to try a threesome however we can’t agree on the conditions. I naturally want another girl to be involved however my partner is pushing for another guy. Since we can’t seem to agree on who to invite into our love nest, my partner has even been willing to compensate saying that we will try it twice, allowing us both to experience our desired threesome. The only problem is that I couldn’t stand seeing another guy punish my girl and can’t imagine the feeling of seeing another guys dick in front of me. Do I have a case to push or am I just being unfair?

L OV E

H e a r t b a l m

Heartbalm writes: This would have to be one of the most popular Heartbalm questions and our answer is always the same. Don’t rush it. Take time to convince your wife and offer her the chance to get on top so that way she can control how things are going. Just remember to use plenty of lube and go easy. If all goes right she will be begging you to bend her over.

H e a r t b a l m

Mr KD is 29 and is craving some anal action. He writes: I have been married for four years now and my wife and I have always enjoyed a good sex life, however lately things have gotten a bit stale. You see I just started a new job where I work with a large amount of guys in their early 20’s. These guys are always bragging about outrageous sexual adventures and it leaves me thinking about how I’m missing out. Two friends told me last week about some anal fun they had with some girls and it left me craving my wife’s rear end. That night in bed, I spoke to my wife about my anal desire but she wouldn’t take a bar of it. In fact she just shook her head, rolled over and went to sleep. What can I do to try and convince my wife to try a new thing?

L E T T E R S ♥

Wanting anal action

Heartbalm Writes: This is a problem that many married men or men in a serious relationship encounter. You must understand that sex is far more emotional for females than it is for males and therefore usually means more to them despite guys wanting it far more often. Speak to her prior to doing the act and tr to reach a compromise. Good luck.

L E T T E R S ♥

HEARTBALM, FEBRUARY 25-MARCH 3, 2010 –

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★ G A Z I N G AT T H E S TA R S , T I T S , G L I T Z , ★  Nice tits Linsday

WHILE every thing else about her as gone to complete shit, her career, her love life, her family, her skin, the one thing that she has going on is that awesome rack. Sure, it’s just a shadow of it’s former glory, but it’s still amazing, and that’s saying a lot about just how hot Linsday Lohan’s tits once were. Anyway, here’s Lindsay making sure you still remember she has great tits in a single shot from L’Uomo Vogue (that’s Italian for Men’s Vogue) by Bryan Adams. Yes, that Bryan Adams.

Is she  nuts? I DON’T really have a quote or news item to go along with this picture of Heidi Montag in a tank top. But then again who needs a reason?

Give it up Pam 

PAMELA Anderson needs to stop. She needs to put away her silicon bags, put on some real clothes, and realize that she isn’t 18years-old anymore. Talk about struggling to deal with ones age.

What a pose I DON’T normally print pictures of celebrities as fully clothed as this, but this Olivia Wilde picture from Elle magazine is sexy. Seriously have a look at her there posing doggy style. Lift that skirt up a bit, and you’d have just about the hottest picture ever taken.

8 – HEARTBALM, FEBRUARY 25-MARCH 3, 2010

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★ G A Z I N G AT T H E S TA R S , T I T S , G L I T Z , ★ 1

1

Nice dress

2

HERE’S supermodel Doutzen Kroes looking absolutely stunning and dropping some cleavage at the amfAR’s New York City Gala. Now this is a side that we’re not used to seeing when it comes to Doutzen, eh? We’ve seen her skimpy lingerie and in tiny bikinis, but never in a fancy dress. And normally I wouldn’t even be paying attention, but that’s one cleavage-friendly dress she’s wearing. Now who would have thought that Doutzen Kroes could drop jaws when not working and in her civilian clothing? Then again, she is a supermodel. Enjoy!

2

Huge mountains

CHECK out this Christina Hendricks cleavage picture from New York magazine. Christina Hendricks’ breasts are probably the biggest things I’ve ever seen. What a girl!

3

Stupid hands

SO this Heidi Klum topless picture is supposedly from behind the scenes of her Vogue Germany photoshoot that came out in June, but from what I can tell, there were no Heidi Klum topless pictures in that magazine, so either the photographer was taking some extra shots for his private collection, or Heidi Klum really loves standing around topless holding her boobs. But can you really blame her?

4

She’s still cute

HAYDEN PANETTIERE was really hot a few years back. Then everyone realized that Hereos sucks, and she’s pretty annoying. She’s still cute, though, and can take a sexy photo when she tries. It also helps when she doesn’t wear much in the line of clothing. But that’s a general rule for most girls. Anyway, here is a sexy Hayden Panettiere picture from Lush magazine

3 4

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HEARTBALM, FEBRUARY 25-MARCH 3, 2010 –

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then go fuck yourself, these are my cookies.”

YOU GOTTA ❑ BE JOKING! ❑

A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates: You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building! So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.

Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework. “Oh, mercy me!” she exclaims, “I can hardly stand it!” Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads: Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak. She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads: Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof

A masked man goes into a sperm bank, points a gun at the woman behind the counter, and says, “Open the safe.” She says, “This isn’t a real bank, it’s sperm bank.” He says, “Open the safe or I’ll shoot.” She opens the safe, and he says, “Now take one of the bottles and drink it.” After she opens the bottle and drinks it, he takes off his mask and the woman realizes the robber is her husband. He says, “Now you see? It’s not so difficult, is it?”

There was a guy riding through the desert on his camel. He had been travelling so long that he felt the need to have sex. Obviously there were no women in the desert so the man turned to his camel. He tried to position himself to have sex with his camel but the camel ran away. The man ran to catch up to the camel and got back on and started to ride again. Soon he was feeling the urge to have sex again so once again he turned to his camel. The camel refused by running away. So he caught up to it again and got on it again. Finally after riding the camel through the whole desert the man came to a road. There was a broken down car with three big chested beautiful blondes sitting in it. He went up to them and asked the women if they needed any help. The hottest girl said , “If you fix our car we will do anything you want.” The man luckily knew a thing or two about cars and fixed it in a flash. When he finished are three girls asked, “How could we ever repay you Mr.” After thinking for a short while he replied, “Could you hold my camel?”

On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads: Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids. “That’s nice,” she thinks, “but I want more.” So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking. “Wow,” she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads: Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs,

that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. To avoid gender bias charges, the store’s owner opened a New Wives store just across the street. The first floor has wives that love sex. The second floor has wives that love sex and have money and like beer. The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.

Little Johnny and his grandfather have gone fishing. After a while grandpa gets thirsty and opens up his cooler for some beer. Little Johnny asks, “Grandpa can I have some beer too?” “Can you stick your penis in your asshole?” grandpa asked back. “‘No’ Well, then your not big enough”. Grandpa then takes out a cigarette and lights up. Little Johnny sees this and asks for a cigarette. “Can you stick your penis in your asshole?” grandpa asked again. “‘No’ Well, than your not big enough.” Little Johnny gets upset and pulls out some cookies. His grandfather says, “Hey, those cookies look good, can I have some?” Little Johnny asks, “Can you stick your penis in your asshole?” Grandpa looks at Johnny and senses his trick so he says, “Well of course I can, and I’m big enough.” Little Johnny then says, “Well,

10 – HEARTBALM, FEBRUARY 25-MARCH 3, 2010

It’s Saturday morning and Bob’s just about to set off on a round of golf, when he realizes that he forgot to tell his wife that the guy who fixes the washing machine is coming around at noon. So Bob heads back to the clubhouse and phones home. “Hello?” says a little girl’s voice. “Hi, honey, it’s Daddy,” says Bob. “Is Mummy near the phone?” “No, Daddy. She’s upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Frank.” After a brief pause, Bob says, “But you haven’t got an Uncle Frank, honey!” “Yes, I do, and he’s upstairs in the bedroom with Mummy!” “Okay, then. Here’s what I want you do. Put down the phone, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door and shout in to Mummy and Uncle Frank that my car’s just pulled up outside the house.” “Okay, Daddy!” A few minutes later, the little girl comes back to the phone. “Well, I did what you said, Daddy.” “And what happened?” “Well, Mommy jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming, then she tripped over the rug and went out the front window and now she’s all dead.” “Oh, my God! What about Uncle Frank?” “He jumped out of bed with no clothes on too, and he was all scared and he jumped out the back window into the swimming pool.” “But he must have forgot that last week you took out all the water to clean it, so he hit the bottom of the swimming pool and now he’s dead too.” There is a long pause. “Swimming pool? Is this 9406 9444?”

Moscow porn hacker seized Police in Russia have arrested a hacker who caused gridlock by beaming a porn film on a giant billboard in central Moscow. An unemployed 40-year-old man from the Black Sea port of Novorossiysk has been detained for the offence, reports Kommersant daily. A special division of the Interior Ministry responsible for investigating IT crimes made the arrest, the newspaper reported. The 30ft by 20ft screen switched from screening ads to hardcore porn for 20 minutes on January 14, instantly bringing the city centre to a standstill. Drivers recorded the incident on their mobile phones and later uploaded it to YouTube where it became a massive hit. The man, whose name was not disclosed, reportedly admitted the crime but said he thought it would be shown on a screen in a shop in Moscow to a much smaller audience and would “entertain people”. The man said he had hacked into a server of an organisation in Chechnya and changed the video in the playlist of the advertising agency from there. He man now faces up to two years in prison for unlawful access to computer information and unlawful distribution of pornography.

Zebra runs amok in rush hour traffic Police chased a runaway zebra though rush hour traffic in Atlanta, Georgia, after it escaped from a circus. Several police cars and motorcycles pursued the scared animal for several miles before it was eventually captured. The animal, named Lima, which was spotted all over town, had escaped from an outdoor enclosure of the Ringling Brothers and Barnum and Bailey Circus. Motorists and pedestrians where

treated to unusual scenes, the local Atlanta Journal Constitution reported. “It was wild,” Prapik Jani, a restaurant manager, said. “I thought I was seeing things.” “All of a sudden, a freaking zebra comes running down the street like a car,” another witness was quoted as saying. “Five or six police cars were in hot pursuit. And a bunch of officers on foot. But then I got scared, thinking... what else is loose?”

TV chef suspended over cat recipe A top Italian food writer has been suspended from the country’s version of Ready Steady Cook for recommending stewed cat. Beppe Bigazzi, 77, has been dropped indefinitely by broadcaster RAI after he offered the ‘succulent’ recipe on La Prova del Cuoco. Its switchboard was inundated with complaints from viewers and animal rights groups, reports The Times. Bigazzi said that casserole of cat was a famous dish in his home region of Valdarno, Tuscany. “I’ve eaten it myself and it’s a lot better than many other animals,” he told viewers. “Better than chicken, rabbit or pigeon.” He said that for optimum flavour the meat should be “soaked in spring water for three days” before being stewed. Francesca Martini, Italy’s deputy health minister, said it was “absolutely unheard of for a public service broadcaster to tell people how delicious cats are to eat”. She called for the producers to be investigated for criminal offences involving incitement to mistreat animals. Mr Bigazzi later insisted he had only been joking about the recipe, and he had been misunderstood. But he added, “Mind you, I wasn’t joking all that much. In the 1930s and 1940s, when I was a boy, people certainly did eat cat in the countryside around Arezzo.”

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HEARTBALM, FEBRUARY 25-MARCH 3, 2010 –

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OR $5.50 per min mob/PT extra www.pjk.cc

Advertisements are accepted on the understanding the advertiser indemnifies Heartbalm from all claims arising therefrom.

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9696 4242

$135 1/2 hr $175 3/4 hr $210 1hr

PCA458BE

44 Gladstone St. South Melbourne

Advertisements are accepted on the understanding the advertiser indemnifies Heartbalm from all claims arising therefrom.

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Phone:

9696 4242 44 Gladstone St. South Melbourne

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PCA458BE

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TRANSEXUAL

CAPRI

9696 2222 SATARA

(minimum 4 weeks)

CALL JON 03 9620 1 166

(

)

Hot duos aim to please a service with a smile

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9326 8388

Present this ad $10 Discount

PCA 6143B

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The Bignell

BISEXUAL MEN

www.vicnet.net.au/– abama

0458 250 482

MALE TO MALE

PHONE SERVICES

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Jane, Claire, Jody, Mia, Zoe, Nina, Christina, Analise, Annie, Willow

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STABLE BOYS

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BACK IN MELBOURNE

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PCA 6059XE

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9305 3473

9696 2222

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PCA 6861XE

Visiting Escort

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PHONE:

TRANSEXUALS

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MALE TO MALE

KANE

RICHARD

9543 5901

Pca 818b

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PCA 6072B PCA 5531B

(NO SEX INVOLVED)

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PCA 5109BE

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CALL JON 03 9620 1 166

(

)

14 – HEARTBALM, FEBRUARY 25-MARCH 3, 2010

Advertisements are accepted on the understanding the advertiser indemnifies Heartbalm from all claims arising therefrom.

See your

ad on the

Web

at

www.heartbalm.com.au www.heartbalm.com.au


DOMINATION & ADULT SERVICES

Correction Centre

★Mistress Lauren★ Sexual Domination

With many years behind her in the lifestyle scene & now also well established as a pro-Domme, Mistress Lauren has all the versatility that BDSM & fetish have to offer. Whether you are after a light, playful roleplay or something seriously heavy, Mistress Lauren is an adept Mistress who will leave you breathless & ALWAYS wanting more... Bi-sexual, vivacious, imaginative, mischievous & wickedly kinky she awaits you...

the chambers of sensual elegance

Melbourne’s Leading Fetish & Fantasies Establishment est. 1995

Licensed, legal, safe & Health Dept. approved. Fetish House is Melbourne’s premier custom-designed & custom-built total fetish establishment.

Specialising in The Creative Artform of Bondage & Discipline

Mistress Ambrosia

Novices & first-timers are welcome. PRIVATE & DISCREET DUNGEON HIRE OR FANTASY ROOM HIRE AT MELBOURNE’S BEST RATES

Available Mon, Tues & Fri 11am till late Ph: (03)

9544 8384

www.fetishhouse.com.au

1 EDINBURGH ST, OAKLEIGH STH

pca4228be

11am Till Late

Mistress Lola

182 Rose St Fitzroy Melbourne www.thedominasrealm.com Mon to Fri 11am to 11pm & Sat 2pm to 7pm

Ph: 03 9419 8347

20 St. David St., Fitzroy correctioncentre.com

PCA 3850BE

GOING TO THE BALL, WELL YOU WILL NEED NEW SHOES THEN WON’T YOU???

WALK ALL OVER ME GET YOUR SHOES FROM

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SHOECRAFT BOUTIQUE 221 High St PRAHRAN Catalogues Available Industry Discount

Discontinued & 1 off styles 50-70% Off

Watch tall, slender stunning 22 y.o. APPRENTICE MISTRESS seductively & sensually humiliate & torture her slave until he can take no more (NON-SEXUAL) private/discreet, appt. only PH:

0451 023 112

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0417 579 991 PCA5980XE

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0417 579 991 PCA5980XE

Never Have Money Problems Again

Dancers required by

GEELONG GENTLEMEN'S CLUB ★ Full training & Pole dancing lessons by friendly management Huge $$. ★ Great facilities ★ Free accommodation Enjoy a lovely weekend in Geelong & have lunch on the waterfront or a nice drive down the coast during the day. ★ Only a 45 min drive or 1hr by train.

It’s a Paid Holiday

Ph: (03) 52218439 www.heartbalm.com.au

ORIENTAL TOUCH Full body relaxation massage and Thai traditional massage. Male & Female masseurs available. Booking essential. Email

massage@orientaltouch.com.au 0r call 9818 6249 COLLINGWOOD AREA

(03)

9510 9993

www.shoecraft.com.au

Some pre-loved stock available

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0409 590 048 PCA 6664XE

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BIANCA

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on the

Web at www.heartbalm.com.au

BLACK OPAL 9792 3008

PCA 194BE

CATWOMAN

DROP IN AND SEE OUR FRIENDLY STAFF THEY WILL LOOK AFTER YOU AT ★ Dandenong’s Finest Brothel ★ Dandenong’s Best Prices ★ Offering The Best Service LADIES, LADIES, LADIES ALL ARE WELCOME

♥ COME PLAY WITH US ♥

Open for Inspection 10 am-4 am 7 Days

12 DANDENONG STREET DANDENONG HEARTBALM, FEBRUARY 25-MARCH 3, 2010 –

15


Horny ORIENTAL Girls ANGELS 15 George St Blackburn Get into the action with me

Call Now:

1902 213 207 $4.95 min (inc GST) Higher from Pay/Mob

Young Beautiful Girls Everyday NEW GIRLS AVAILABLE Special from

$65

10am – Late

Tel:

9877 3123 Mel 48 A9 PCA 6374B


Heartbalm 25 February - 3 March 2010