S PLEN DI affairs D Sophisticated Stylishly Modern digital
Glamour wedding venue
MEMOIRE STUNNING gowns GREAT ADVICE make-up fashion decor stationery
Editorâ€™s Letter This magazine is all about real, professional and practical advice. This issue is dedicated to glamour and opulence, which is why Memoire Wedding Venue was a perfect choice for the fashion shoot. You will find that apart from this issue being truly inspirational it also deals with the more serious aspects of getting married. After all, wedding planning is not just about choosing your colours, shopping for that perfect ribbon and facing flower dilemmas. Wedding planning encompasses deeper issues, it brings a lot of emotions out to the surface. Your wedding day will be the beginning of the journey and it is a beautiful event that marks the start of something great. See what our gorgeous real- life brides had to say about their special day. Once again, big thanks to our splendid contributors who put their time and effort into making this issue a reality - Kat Forsyth and Sam Scaife. Enjoy! Evegenia
SPLENDID TEAM Evegenia Poplett Publisher / Editor
Katharine Forsyth Resident Photographer
Sam Scaife Make-Up Stylist
1. DIOR: Diorshow Extase Mascara 2.DIOR: LIMITED EDITION eye shadow Golden Spotlight. 3. Phytomer: Decollete Parfait – Neck & Decollete Renewing Care 4. BOBBI BROWN: NUDE LIP GLOSS COLLECTION 5. BOBBI BROWN: NUDE LIP AND EYE PALETTE 6. Jo Malone : Black Vetyver Café Cologne 7. NIMUE: TREATMENT FOUNDATION
Glamorous Skin for Your Perfect Day
5 1. NIMUE: COLOURSCIENCE 2. LA MER: The Regenerating Serum 3. DERMAPHUZION FACIAL INTELLIGENCE SERUM 4. SKIN DOCTOR: INSTANT FACELIFT 5. NIVEA VISAGE NATURAL BEAUTY RADIANCE BOOSTING MOISTURISER
WELLA Professionals range OFFERS WOMEN A WIDE RANGE OF PRODUCTS FOR ANY HAIR TYPE. THEIR MULTI-VITAMIN PACKED SERUMS, STYLERS, GLAZES ARE THE ULTIMATE TOOLS IN CREATING FABULOUS AND GLAMOROUS HAIRSTYLES, ESPECIALLY ON THE DAY LIKE YOUR WEDDING
Glamorous Hair On your wedding
ghd IS THAT MAGICAL BRAND THAT SAVED WOMEN AROUND THE WORLD FROM BAD HAIR DAYS! theIR STYLERS and products ALLOW ORDINARY GIRLS TO TRANSFORM THEIR ORDINARY HAIRSTYLES INto fabulous and amazing hair creations for special occasions and ordinary days!
Whatâ€™s more, now you can learn how to create the perfect ghd candy curl for that romantic look with the launch of their first step-by-step style video from the official ghd Style Diarist, Fabia Dos Santos.
Log on to www.ghdstylediary.co.za and view the video and discover the secrets of heavenly hair creation.
ghd Creation Spray for Iron Styling ghd Reflection Spray for Final Shine ghd Ultimate Hairspray
Put the sparkle in your eye on your wedding day…. You can truly be eye candy on your big day! Feel and look younger with eyeSlices® Biotanix Candy Eyes – a patented innovation that delivers instant results to reduce the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles. Use for a few minutes before applying your make-up for sparkling, bright, fresh and beautiful eyes!
If the term ‘Wonder Cream’ could be applied to a protective and healing skin care cream, Shea Butter deserves the title. It evens skin tone and returns lustre to skin. Making your body radiant in your wedding dress. Available exclusively through Clicks stores nation wide.
Sparkle Like a Star Palmer’s Body Gloss
There are so many wedding gowns out there with beautiful necklines which require some cleavage to be revealed. Not all women, however, have the courage to display a plunging neckline – they may regard their breasts as lacking firmness, their cleavage not worth displaying or simply feel their breasts are too small. The perfect way to solve any self-consciousness issues is by using Dermaphuzion ™ Serum Breast Enlargement & Firming Gel .
NIVEA amond Touch Shower Creme Oil (a beautiful pampering shower gel)
This product will increase breast fullness, enhance skin elasticity thereby firming and moisturising the bust and outer skin which supports its function as the natural bra. Overall result - a more youthful appearance of the breast and cleavage. Visit www. prophuzion.com for more information.
Several designers were asked by Instyle to sketch a wedding dress for Bella Swan to wear during the pivotal marriage scene in the Twilight Saga to Edward Cullen . Here is Christian Siriano’s sketch of how he envisions Bella Swans’ wedding gown. In Eclipse, Bella’s dress is described as an early 1900s design (which complements her antique engagement ring) with friend and Maid of Honor Alice Cullen’s modern tweaks to the train and veil. “You look like you just stepped out of an Austen movie,” Bella’s mother says to the bride-to-be when she spies her in the gown in the final book, Breaking Dawn. “It’s gorgeous! So graceful, so elegant.” Check out more sketches by Badgley Mischka, Lela Rose, Zac Posen, and Monique Lhuillier on Instyle website. Click here to see the sketches.
The award for the most gorgeous wedding bouquet goes to Carrie in “Sex and The City Movie”
Lovers Paintbox Kama Sutra Gifts: Treasure Trove www.kamasutragifts.co.za
News and Snippits
A down-to-earth guide how to get hitched without a hitch in South Africa. (Penguin) Available at all good bookstores.
Huge congratulations and the best of wishes on the recent wedding of Ndalo Media MD and Destiny founder Khanyi Dhlomo and McKinsey & Company Management Consultant Chinezi Chijioke.
Visit to www.destinyconnect.com to see their stunning wedding pictures.
Beautifully written and mesmerising novel about finding love and inspiration in the most unlikely of places.
10-11 April Coca Cola Dome
Available at all good bookstores.
ABIGAIL BETZ The Times magazine referred to Abigail Betz as South Africaâ€™s own Vera Wang. Visit her show room at The Mall of Rosebank Shop 334A E, Johannesburg.
Gowns by Wedding Connexion
Dress and birdcage veil by Dimity
Dress and accessories by Dimity
Dress by Dimity
Gown by Wedding Connexion
Dress and accessory by Dimity
Dress and accessory by Dimity
Gowns by Wedding Connexion
The wedding gowns for the fashion feature were supplied by Von Regen. Each gown carries a gorgeous name. So if you have seen something you liked, here is the list of gowns in the order of appearance: Annabelle, Charlotte, Rozanna, Amore, Naomi, Jasmine, Vera, Evette. Now all you have to do is call to make an appointment for a fitting.
Splendid Contributers Venue: Memoire Gowns and Accessories: Von Regen Flowers: The Bloomroom Splendid Affairs Make-Up: Lashline Photography: Kat Forsyth Models: Belinda Stranix Celeste Voges Styling: Splendid Affairs
Spotlight Von Regen Bridal Couture offers the discerning bride an exclusive selection of the finest hand-picked wedding gowns made specifically to your requirements. We will make your dream a reality and take out all the stress involved with finding the perfect wedding dress. Our styles are updated on a monthly basis so come visit us for a free fitting or allow us to help you design or make your wedding dress. Come and enjoy a relaxing dress fitting with your family and friends at our tranquil
premises overlooking Zwartkop. Conveniently situated in the middle of all the luxurious wedding venues in Muldersdrift at “The Heart of Wedding Service Providers”. Visit our website to find out more about the monthly free open days to organize your entire wedding at one place. “FOR EVERY BRIDE WHO WANTS TO BE MORE THAN ORDINARY” www.vonregenbridal.co.za
MEMOIRE Memoire is a new and exclusive venue that is very easy to fall in love with.
Memoire caters for between 100-300 guests.
Opulent powder rooms conveniently located at The passion, work ethic the post-ceremony drinks and quality of the venue is area. The pipe organ is seen through the special a great feature at the care the owners have paid chapel. The chapel itself to every detail in creating a is spacious, and really beautiful, elegant and mag- beautiful. ical setting for weddings. The grand stairway leadThis exquisite establishing to the reception area is ment not only promises impressive. There are small distinct quality it guarantouches around the venue tees a memorable experi- that add to the grand whole. ence in style, grace and The wooden chairs, quality opulence. linens, crockery and cutlery â€“ all add up to the reception The venue is carefully hall fit for royalty. thought out to increase satisfaction for the bridal www.memoire.co.za couple and their family and firstname.lastname@example.org guests. For example, a VIP 079 742 4624 parking area next to the 074 419 1166 church for the bridal party Viewing by appointment. and close family (especially elderly).
Your wedding flowers are important to us as they are to you!
we will work together to create designs which compliment and enhance your wedding. Your personality and your vision coupled with our knowledge and experience will translate into a splendid wedding.
Bridal bouquets Exquisite centerpieces Elegant ceremony arrangements Wedding design By Appointment 072 221 5882 email@example.com
evegenia poplett 072 221 5882 firstname.lastname@example.org
Cindy Du toit 072 240 6044 info@thebloomroom,co,za
Bold damask is a great way to introduce a luxurious tone to your wedding reception, if you are planning an extravagant wedding reception. Luscious reds, sparkling crystals, and rhinestone clasps add glamour; whilst a layering of lace, velvet ribbon and even feathers will create that over the top Hollywood opulence.
Decor: Something Borrowed Stationery and Favours: Trendy Settings Styling: Splendid Affairs Photography: Kat Forsyth
Our own Kat Forsyth is well known for her obsession with anything Old Hollywood, she added amazing Hollywood theme details at her wedding. Kat framed images of her favorite actors and actresses and named each table after them.. She and her husband came up with the list of their favorite movies and incorporated the covers from each movie in their program. You can also stage your own Hollywood glam photos shoot with your photographer before the wedding and use those photographs to personalise your wedding.
Wedding Stationery Tell us about your stationery. My stationery is all handmade. From printing to cutting and assembling. I like combining old and new. Old 19th century damask patterns, vintage pearls and lace combined with modern silhouettes and laser cut patterns and fonts.
Eloise Rossouw Trendy Settings
What does the bride need to know about the stationery design process? I recommend that the couple meet with me and view existing samples. Usually a specific design will catch their eye and the design process will start from there. We look at colour combinations, fonts and styles and decide on one or two options. I then make a trial invitation. Once this is approved, the order is ready for production.
It’s best to book your invitations at least 3 months before the wedding. The production takes about 2 weeks from when the final Tell us a little about yourself and your com- draught has been approved. pany? Trendy Settings was established in 2005. We specialize in coordinating all the décor aspects What advice can you share for all the brides of a wedding including flowers and stationery. getting married this year? We are passionate about all things beautiful. Collect pictures and photos, patterns and Our décor style is classic and romantic. We colour swatches – anything that you feel have a large selection of beautiful items for drawn to before you go and see your supplibrides to hire. ers. Or create a mood board – it’s an excellent Diana’s main focus is assisting brides with visual tool. There are so many inspiring webtheir décor selection, Cindy (The Bloom sites, blogs and magazines out there. Once Room) is a magician with flowers and I cre- you have a good general idea of the feel and ate the stationery to complement the style and theme you’d like to create, everything will fall mood of the wedding. into place.
What are the current wedding trends in stationery and favours?
Current trends are strong black and white colour combinations, as well as unusual colour combinations like yellow and charcoal and Asian inspired red and turquoise. And of course, the shades of whites and creams are always timeless. Lasercut images are very popular, Monograms are big â€“ Damask, lattice and lace patterns are also still very popular Your wedding favours must definitely compliment your table dĂŠcor and not spoil it. Try and avoid too many ribbons, bows and tags and rather opt for beautiful boxes with clean lines for your gifts.
Contact Trendy Settings for all your wedding stationery requirements.
Courtenay andMike 9 January 2010
St Georges Anglican Church Westcliff Hotel
We had a large bridal party all our special people around us all day!
â€œBlack and White - was very hard to make a final decision as there are so many beautiful options available. In the end I decided to stick with my favourite, black, as I was hoping for a look that was simple yet strikingâ€?.
Photography by Greg Lumley, Flower Design and Decor by Gideon Flowers and Decor, Make Up by Simone Zandstra, Hair by Blo (the Parks), DJ and Musicians by Burlesque, Bridesmaids Dresses by Lunar Clothing, Wedding Cake by The Tart, Videographery by Natalia Economides.
Lauren-Kate and Du Preez 5 September 2009 Makiti
We started planning almost exactly a year before. My brother and his wife got married in September 2008, and had enjoyed it so much and learnt so much – we started looking around for venues after their big day and once you have your venue and date, there is no stopping! We wanted to have two colours to blend into one another. Yellow was always a colour that my husband and I enjoyed working with (we had just recently done our daughters christening in the theme yellow) – and I had always loved a dress chosen for one of my bridesmaids that was made in a yellow/gold material with golden finishing. So yellow and gold was decided as our colour scheme. It worked really well as it wasn’t difficult to get anything in either one of those colours.
In theory a bride will want a perfect day, and children can seem too risky – but real perfection happens when the unplanned things occur and no one knows or cares cause they are having a good time. Perfection is built on the experience and memories of the day.
Lauren and JD wanted to have children at the wedding! “I wouldn’t exactly say they were a detail but they made the day that much more special and relaxed. My husband and my main priority was to ensure that our guests were relaxed, laid back and that they let loose! What better way to bring anyone down to earth than have a little one having their say during the ceremony, or running around the dance floor after too much cake”. In theory a bride will want a perfect day, and children can seem too risky – but real perfection happens when the unplanned things occur and no one knows or cares cause they are having a good time. Perfection is built on the experience and memories of the day. While having our photo’s done and while guests were being seated we took some time to quickly be alone and go through our steps. Those 5 minutes I had with him when he was mine and mine alone, were for me the happiest. Your wedding day in a manner is really …not YOUR day. Any opportunity you can get when it’s just the two of you no matter how quick, it provides you with a small gap in time where you can just be content, and unconcerned about what’s happening around you. Where it’s just about you and your husband- that was special!
I think the main advice I can give is, think of one thing that you want you and your guests to remember when looking back on your special day, what would it be and based on your answer concentrate your budget towards that. For my husband and I, our wedding day was more than the two of us committing to share our lives together. It was a celebration of what we had overcome and who in our lives had helped us to get where we were today. It was about ensuring that nothing stood in their way to share and enjoy that special day with us so, what was important to me was costs that my guests had to endure. Therefore, open bar, accommodation at reasonable prices and children allowed were all part of my secret plan to ensure those important to me were there and had the time of their lives!
My husband and I had a continuous concern about our first dance or at least I did! He hadn’t seen the dress yet and wasn’t worried about all the lifts and dips and turns we had practiced and choreographed. Once down the aisle and after seeing all the layers of material, the first thing he whispered in my ear was “how the hell are we gonna do our dance!”
Photography by Moments by Annalene, Make-up by Lyn Reece, Videography by Bubblemaker Productions.
Jade & Craig 9 January 2010 Houghton
Our Story... Jade and Criag planned their wedding in only 3 months! â€œWhen Craig and I look back on our wedding day, we feel so blown away by how perfect it was. It was not because nothing went wrong (there are always things that you are not going to be able to control) but it was because we really made a point of being present.
You live these moments once, and they really do fly by, so try to be with each other when they happen instead of somewhere else in your mind worrying about how things have gone or what should happen next. It is your day to be in love and not care who is watching. Take time to look at each other, to kiss, to laugh, to really share it with one another.â€?
“The ceremony was held in the garden of my father’s house in Houghton, which overlooked a stunning view of Joburg. We had our reception on the other side of the house, under a lantern lit marquee.”
The decor was mostly white, with some very light grey to go with the bridesmaid dresses.
â€œI wanted it to be very elegant and not too over-the-top. Little bits of cerise pink and lemon yellow were added to brighten up the feelâ€?. If I had to give a name to the theme, I might name it after myself. So many guests commented on how stunning everything was. Jade knew she wanted lots and lots of hearts. How it all came together was very much a case of mix and match , and Jade recalls how they drove around everywhere from Vereeniging to Krugersdorp collecting hearts of all kinds.
â€œWe are also both very community focused and passionate about our country. We loved that about our wedding. We found different ways in which we could feature some authentic South African flavor in gifts and decor. All of the woven hearts (including the 4 meter high one from our ceremony) were made by a really awesome guy called Kidmore who sells things on the road outside the Multiflora in City Deep, Joburg. The gifts we gave to our guests were key rings (beaded hearts for the girls and guitars for the boys) which we also bought from guys on the side of the road. It is seriously worth seeing what the resident craftsmen in your area have to offer. They are so talented.â€? Jade & Craig
Photography by Kat Forsyth, Marquee by MPR Hiring, Furniture by The Word Of Mouth.
TIPS & GUIDELINES
Your Wedding Dress, and finding it is an amazing and exciting time. Every woman wants to feel like a princess on her wedding day and this rightful feeling of being a princess and being treated as one MUST start with the bridal boutique or a designer you visit. If you’re not treated like you’re the only person on earth getting married , then my advice will be - as quoted by famous etiquette writer Emsie Schoeman “Give a polite smile, nod, say thank you and then turn around and put it in the past”. These days we are truly blessed with great talent around us. We don’t need to feel that you are restricted to only one boutique or designer for your wedding dress. Feel free to meet with a few designers or visit some bridal boutiques before you make that all important decision. This is your wedding day and you must feel relaxed and be completely at peace when choosing your wedding gown.
I’ve seen this happen many a times. All of the various styles can be researched with greater detail should you wish to, but to us the most important single thing about finding your wedding dress is that the designer or boutique assisting you must be knowledgeable enough to give you all the detail required for the idea you have. Take in their recommendations, but always remember that it is your decision. Only bring at maximum two very close and trusted friends or your mom with for your first dress fitting, but always remember it needs to be your decision and not theirs that influences your end result. You must choose the dress that YOU will feel comfortable in when walking down the aisle, not the dress your mom or friends imagined you in or wanted you to wear. Here are a few guidelines to help with the short listing of your wedding dress should you still be undecided: 1. Your figure should be flattered by the wedding dress you will be wearing, that’s why it is important to try on various styles to get the best fit for your body type that will highlight your best features and downplay those you’re least comfortable with.
Don’t be to set on this one dress that you’ve had a picture of for years. When the time comes, try on various dresses and different styles that you might never have even looked at. You may find that once you have the dress 2. Quality: While looking through dresses, on and it’s not just on the showroom floor make sure the craftsmanship is of good qualthat it compliments your figure, and you ity and standard. This can easily be identified might even need to change your mind. by closer inspection and feeling of the materials used or the bead work done.
3. Shorter brides may want to look at gowns that have long body lines and not too many or any detail at all, try to keep it simple. You can go for Empire styles as it will make you look taller.
Another very important fact to keep in mind after you’ve selected your wedding dress, that it is always easier to make a dress somewhat smaller, instead of trying to make it bigger. Therefore, whilst it is not encouraged to starve yourself, by eating healthy and balanced diet, 4. For taller brides you may want to consider you should try to maintain your size after the a gown with detail at the bottom to take the measurements were taken. focus off of your height. Please remember that these are only guide5. Full-figured brides can look at dresses that lines if you don’t have a wedding dress in skim the body instead of tight fitting. A-line mind already. Your dress should display evor princess style dresses work well with pear- erything you are, and not be based on what shaped brides. other people would like you to wear or what they had to say about it. 6. Full breasted brides – if you got them, flaunt ‘em, but do ensure that it’s still done with style & elegance. Go on, and be the picture perfect bride you deserve to be, and blow everyone away and Be very prudent when choosing the accesso- look gorgeous. ries that you’ll be wearing on your wedding day. It is crucial that you at least once before the wedding day get the full attire on and make Authors: Fred & Charlene Brand sure that your accessories don’t draw to much www.vonregenbridal.co.za attention from your dress. It must always compliment you, and not the other way around. In terms of wedding jewelry, there is one simple rule that can be applied- the fancier the dress, the simpler the jewelry should be. Most brides wonder about veils since they used to be an essential item, but nowadays it’s strictly optional to have a veil or not and this depends on the wedding dress or purely on the bride’s choice. Should you consider tanning before the wedding, make sure not to overdo it as a lot of fake tan will distract attention from you, your dress and husband to be. If you do get a spray tan, make sure that you do it well in advance to prevent the tan rubbing off on your beautiful gown to leave embarrassing marks.
Author: Greg Lumley www.greglumley.com
regardless), but why not ask if they are also experienced at weddings? Nope? Okay excellent, that means: - You are going to have a few studio lights dotted around for lighting. - Your makeup artist will be there when you click your fingers (that’s pretty cool). - You are going to do multiple retakes of the same photo to get the perfect one, “Okay everyone standby this is ring going on take # 10”. Just about everyone with a camera has a few images that any professional photographer will swoon over, BUT the professional will have hundreds of these images, what’s more is that he/she will be able to produce those high quality images on demand every time!
- Don’t forget that creative director who is going to brief you and your photographer as to exactly what he needs out of the shoot… errr wedding… - It’s also great that you don’t want more than 1020 finished photos at the end of it all
When there is no choice due to financial con- You had better practice your posing because straints , who can be expected to do any most of the fashion guys expect you to know that differently, but if there is even the slightest right off the bat! budget, ponder the following: - Yes quality over quantity is good even if the em* The average photo on Facebook is a snapshot phasis is in totally the wrong place! which is acceptable considering it was just anothThe point to the ridiculous scenario above, is that er occasion but what if your wedding photos were in order to get the most from your fashion phothe same quality? tographer you need to provide an environment that they are used to, they are specialists in what * Is your wedding really that incredibly importhey do. tant day to you? No not really? Excellent then you won’t be disappointed – Exit here. Yes?… Read on -------------> We often hear: “But my friend is a fashion photographer” (I love this one but lets continue
The wedding photographer is a specialist too and guess what, their specialty is ??… Weddings! Did you answer correctly?!? Excellent, you win a half used bus ticket to the Deep Southern Swamplands, leave your razor and toothbrush at home but take your sister!
Still determined to go ahead with the friend/ student or other type of photographer, okay then let’s at least give you the criteria to choose wisely:
tion in case something goes wrong?
Multiple quality images from different events, we are trying to establish that the good photos have nothing to do with luck.
- Personality!!! This is a biggie!!! How do you and your partner get on with them, they are going to spend one heck of a lot of time with you and let’s face it, we all just need to get along ;)
- Attention to detail: Are there photos that show this, there are lots of little things that make up the day, will they notice? - Crime-scene photos: Are the images simply a recording of what the camera is pointed at or do they have a creative eye… this might not count if you want your wedding to look like a series of photos taken by the same guy who does passport photos at the traffic department. - People, people, people… if you are looking at pretty landscape photos then what are you thinking? Can this person work with people, for this he/she will need the ability work with perfect strangers as well as direct them, unless you want a totally photojournalistic wedding. - Do they have some kind of portfolio that meets all of the standards below: - Consistent quality over a period of time: - All about us – how are they going to work with you and your partner, do they have “couple” photos? Next to the event’s moments this is important, these are the photos that are most likely to be featured in your home. - Lighting – if you like harsh shadows that make people’s eyes look sunken in and eerie, then great, but what you really need is someone who understands how to take what’s given and work with it by finding great spots in awful light, using the right camera angles and working with flash only when needed or for effect. - Quality equipment: Do they have quality equipment and is there some kind of backup op-
- Reliability: Are they going to be there on time on the day as promised?
Still want to go ahead with the friend? Okay now I’m impressed because you really are brave or not particularly bothered. My advice… lower your expectations, that way if you get a great job, which is possible, you will be thrilled! I’m not saying that other photographers are not capable, it’s whether they have the experience or not. There are quite a few photographers who are excellent in many areas so they don’t count but they will definitely have passed the checklist above with ease except for the personality, that’s your call… some photographers are grumpy people! If you have any doubts above then you could try option two, a professional wedding photographer...
Consistency, Creativity, Quality and Reliability on Demand – peace of mind…pheeeeew!
Let’s talk about... PREMARITAL COUNSELLING Elizabeth Smith Registered Councellor 082 927 9730
When many couples are approached with the topic of premarital counselling, the question that often gets asked is ‘why’. Why do we need to go to counselling if we have no problems? What will we talk about? Are we going to counselling to look for problems? Premarital counselling is not about looking for problems or about trying to find cracks in your relationship. Nor is it about telling you whether or not you are right for each other. It is about preparing you for marriage, for your life together. Marriage is a big commitment, which we have all heard should not be entered into lightly. With this in mind one should go to the old saying, which I have said before, prevention is better than cure. Premarital counselling is about looking at your relationship and you both as individuals. It is about giving the two of you the skills of conflict resolution and listening that are important for any relationship, not just relationships that are in trouble. It is about giving you and your partner the best possible foundation to build your lives together on. Let us look at the premarital counselling course that I, myself offer. It involves a look at both your relationship as well as you as an individual. I believe that it is important to keep in mind that although you are joining your lives together and will be operating as ‘we’ rather than ‘I’, that you are still you. That does not change.
I use several questionnaires that you do as a couple and as an individual. You also share these with your partner, remembering that this is a get to know each other on a different level programme. These questionnaires help you to understand why your partner does certain things and vice versa. It also helps you as an individual grow and since you are going through this journey together you will grow together. Within this course you learn how to address each other when it comes to resolving conflicts that arise within your relationship. This may be the last thing on your mind right now but when starting your lives together, in the busy and complex world that we live in, having this knowledge and skill in your back pocket will help. Imagine after a long day at work you come home and your partner has left the house in a mess when he had come home from work. The last thing you feel like doing is cleaning and yet the mess is driving you up the wall. With your stress levels already high, what will you do? Will shouting and screaming help the situation or will talking help? This is where the premarital counselling course will come in handy. It helps you understand your partner and understand where he comes from. It will also help him understand that you like things a certain way and will help you find a compromise even before something like this happens. Going into a premarital counselling course does not mean that you do not know your partner or that the therapist may try and tell you that you are not right for one another. I believe that you are the expert when it comes to your relationship as you are living it. The programme is there to help you make a true and happy future for the two of you with the knowledge and preparation needed to maintain and grow your relationship so that it will survive the test of time.
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Discuss opposite- sex friendships. While some married couples consider activities such as workplace friendships with members of the opposite sex acceptable, some relationship experts disagree.
Honor and respect your partner. “You can have respect without love, but you cannot have love without respect.”
A wives needs to lower expect ations, whilst hu sbands needs to step up to the pl ate. Women expect to be loved, cherished, listen ed to, cared for, and courted, B ut do not expect 24/7 romance, for instance, especially if th eir mate has ju st worked an unbe lievably long week. Husbands thin k of your wife as a million-dolla r client. If she walks out the do or, the business is closed.
Don’t go outside the marriage when you are having a problem, discuss problems with your partner.”
The seven caring habits include: 1. supporting 2. encouraging 3. listening 4. accepting 5. trusting 6. respecting 7. negotiating your differences.
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Visit www.webMD.com for more practical advice.
Runaway brides are a source of humor in many movies, but considering the fear and pain that their actions can cause to loved ones, runaway brides are not really funny.
can start from the moment you begin talking about getting married to when he slips that ring on your finger to the moment you’re walking down the aisle. Reasons Brides Run Away: Pressure from wedding planning. Fear of divorce. Too little or too much planning for a life together. Fear of disappointing others by backing out of the wedding. Shame over postponing or canceling a wedding at the last minute. Feeling out of control and overwhelmed. Unresolved issues such as attitudes about money, dealing with problems, and an inability to argue fairly rise to the surface. Red flags, warning signs, and an admission to having “cold feet” are dismissed as just normal feelings by fiance, family, or friends. Repressed feelings and issues. Fear of breaking an engagement. Expense, stress and complications of large weddings.
How to avoid
RUNAWAY BRIDE syndrome The term runaway bride refers to a young woman who seems to want marriage, but has an extremely hard time committing to the ultimate relationship called marriage. Your wedding date is set, and maybe the invitations are out, and your wedding dress is being made, and everything you ever wanted has turned into some twisted nightmare overnight. If you’re feeling cold feet, try to relax and explore your feelings. Figuring out what’s behind them will either lead you to a stronger and healthier marriage or save you from making a giant mistake. Either way, the time to deal with cold feet is now.
One question any bride having doubts should ask herself - what will happen if you walk away? Once the tears have dried up and the dust settles, what happens if you realise that you may have potentially lost something you cannot replace? Can you imagine that scenario? Could anything be worse than that? What if you are giving up something real, great and irreplaceable? If you are finding it difficult to get a clear perspective and feel like you are far too caught up with the negative aspects, speak to a professional about your fears, anxieties and other relevant issues. Do not forget LOVE, FAITH, and TRUST - those feelings that brought you to this point in life.
Fear of the unknown is a great Your best solution under these factor. Commitment requires a circumstances is to seek great deal of faith and optimism professional help. It is most that everything will work out for helpful to have joint sessions the best. with your fiancee to allow your therapist to gain a better underNone of us know what lies ahead, standing of the situation. we cannot be absolutely certain that everything will be perfect. In most cases, the wedding is Perfection is a dangerous term, called off before the big day, nothand not only is it relative but the ing as dramatic as Julia Roberts notion of perfect changes as our style. Sadly, there are also times life journey progresses. when the bride works very hard to sabotage the relationship, steering The great thing is that most the course of events beyond any obstacles can be overcome with a point of rescuing. positive attitude- an important ingredient in a successful marriage. A bride is entitled to her feelings, but please consider those who will Another crucial factor is the com- be getting hurt in the processes munication skills between the two and try to handle the situation with partners. Being able to communi- outmost dignity and as much cate concerns, fears and anxieties graciousness as possible. without criticizing, blaming, complaining, nagging, threatening, Author: Evegenia Poplett punishing, and bribing. Splendid Affairs
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