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Well, we’re now on our third issue of this little book and considering the fact that we really don’t have a clue what the hell we’re doing, the “fake it ‘til you make it” advice we got from some random genius on Sixth and Natoma actually works! After 3 issues we have learned a lot about the magazine business: mainly, you can write whatever you want, as long as you don’t expect to get paid for it. And, no one takes you seriously until you throw a launch party. We vow to continue doing both. We’ve also learned a lot about ourselves. It has been a very emotionally-expansive experience with longterm benefits…and prescriptions. This is not really about us, though. It’s about money. This is only our third get-rich-quick scheme, and we’re not quitting until we’re rockin’ gold Gucci tracksuits and a Bangkok Rolex on each wrist. So this is the part where you, the reader, find out what’s in this issue. Well, we don’t want to spoil the surprise, so we’re not going to tell you. But we can say that there are all the makings of a good soap opera: love, sex, awkward close-ups before commercials and a filthy rich bastard named Victor. We’ll continue to do our best to inform and entertain if you promise to keep reading. However, if you leave us for another magazine, we’ll take the kids, half your stash and everything we said. Try us. See you in court,

ART DIRECTOR LEE FENYVES FASHION EDITOR NISSA QUANSTROM GRAPHIC DESIGN NATHAN WILSON ALEXANDRA GOICOECHEA PHOTOGRAPHERS Gene X. Hwang, Mark Rutherford, Rico Schwartzberg CONTRIBUTORS Qurt-age 12, Jay Spieden, Pete DeGraff, Bee Ngo, Adam Piandes, Scott Carelli, Joey Piziali FASHION TEAM Whitney - talent Sherrie Long - hair & make-up Darlene Dull - shopping & wardrobe ADVERTISING CHRISTIAN JURINKA 415.724.6528 JASON LASTELLA 415.505.2596 EDITORIAL CONTACTS GENERAL INFORMATION - SUBMISSIONS & IDEAS - LETTERS - PHONE: 415.777.5236 FAX: 415.276.5759 PRINTED IN SAN FRANCISCO SPE is published six times a year. Reproduction in whole or in part without prior written permission from the publisher is strictly prohibited. Slightly Pointed East is a registered trademark of Plado Media L.L.C. © 2004 by Plado Media L.L.C.

Slightly Pointed East Next Issue - April 2004

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Cover Illustration by Lee Fenyves


Thanks for nothing


Cracking the shell on sketch comedy


Fuel for style


A year on the film festival circuit


The art of Sam Flores


Just like crack, you’ll wanna’ go back

22 26 30

39 42 46

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Linc Gallery


Mosh Pinching





8 before & after 21 the east end 60 letters

LAUGHABLE! S.P.E. Magazine, I have no idea where your magazine idea came from, but PLEASE keep it coming! Marina Gangs, Fake Vacations and a Muni Haiku? How can things be so wrong and so damn right?!? Keep up the good work, you have me laughing every issue. - Roger (Cow Hollow) 7TH INNING STRETCH: S.P.E. Magazine, This is by far the worst sports magazine I’ve ever read in my life. OK, “Breakdancing” is a sport, maybe even DJ-ing on some levels, but I was told that this magazine was going to come with a free “All-time Football Favorites” video or a Sock-Phone, and all I got with my subscription was a stupid sticker. Where am I supposed to put it? I have to admit, though, that guy dancing in the last one was pretty damn funny. Can we work something out so I can get my money back? Thanks, Gerald W, Indianapolis, IN Dear Gerald, Odds are you are not reading this at all, but we’re very sorry for the mix up. Did you think we were ESPN Magazine? We completely understand, initials are tough to write down and/or remember, especially when everything on the damn TV is movin’ so fast. We’ll refund your money and you can keep the sticker. It goes on your hockey helmet. // S.P.E.

FAUX-LIDAY Dear S.P.E. Thanks for the useless advice on fake holidays. I’ll let you know how it goes. Charlotte DAILY DOSAGE: Dear SPEI got your first issue and went back to the store on Hayes where I got it. I found out that they had just run out of them, but only after 5 minutes of calling it “SPEC” - I then got a copy from a friend and realized it was my bad (I guess I’m not an “acronym” person). Bottom line, I’m avoiding chasing it around and sent you my $9.99 for one year’s “prescription”. You guys are hilarious and I can’t wait to see what comes out next. Thanks for covering cool things happening in San Francisco and thanks even more for not taking yourselves too seriously while reporting on them. We need more folks with this type of outlook on our great city. Dose me, Tiff - Hayes Valley TWO’S A CROWD! Dear S.P.E. Magazine, I wish you guys would do more investigative stories on what companies and stores suck. I heard they’re putting an Urban Outfitters on Haight street. HUH? What the hell is going on with that? Isn’t one on Powell Street enough? I know it’s not your job to police these types of things, but it’s just a suggestion. If you want to report on these things, I would love to read about them. Thanks for kicking ass, Justin B.

THIS GUY’S DANCE MOVES? Dear SPE, “Killer moves, man!” What’s with the dance freak in S.W.S. (Stuff Worth Stealing)? Please explain. Sarah G. Dear SPE, Hey, last issue’s S.W.S. was great. I’ve been stealing shit for years, but it helps to have direction. Forget about those moves, though. Kid looks like he lost a game of Twister. Tony, Oakland

SPE, Seriously, where do you guys come up with this stuff? The fact that the photo came from France means you KNOW people like this. Truly scary and please accept my resume for employment at your magazine. I will work for free, just please let me have the “torture” of deciding whether or not to publish photos like this. Keep up the good work and save me an office. Moona - that’s not my real name. We didn’t know you cared that much?! Here is the photo again...the whole photo. Enjoy! // S.P.E. Got something to say? Email us at




y trepidation with galleries was thrown for a serious loop the other day when I walked into Linc Real Art. I sauntered into the natural light-filled loft space, expecting the typical gallery experience: an eerie silence, followed by a mute, uninviting stare by an uptight, but crushingly attractive, woman wondering who I am and what the heck I’m doing in gallery where I can’t afford the glasses on her head let alone the works on the wall? Linc Real Art was anything but typical. Instead of silence and attitude, I was met by the subtle sounds of acid jazz and a man’s voice asking how I was doing. “Just let me know if I can answer any questions,” he said.

against it, resting atop old weathered wood blocks. Just over a year ago, Mary Boone in New York gave Gillmore a solo show. I can guarantee there was no acid jazz wafting through that space nor welcoming “hellos,” but it’s that type of uniquely casual sophistication that sets Linc Real Art apart from other galleries (especially for people like me who never know if I’m allowed to stay and look at the

I did an uncoordinated pirouette trying to put a face with the voice, and I saw a gentleman at the back of the gallery leaning over the edge of an upstairs office. He was smiling. I didn’t trust him. “Cool, cool, I’m cool,” I muttered in my state of shock. Not cool. I’m not cool at all, I realized. As I tried to regroup, my eyes met their target: the art. Not just any art, but the art of Graham Gillmore –a bit of an emerging badass on the world art scene. Gillmore’s large, sexy, textrich, glossy abstractions filled the gallery. Some hung on the wall while others leaned Don’t let him fool you. Graham Gillmore has.

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artwork or if I should get the hell out before security kicks me out). Linc co-founder Charles Linder (the mystery voice from above) is a long time San Francisco artist. For years Linder had put aside his traditional objectmaking art to work on his concept of “social situations” as art. His idea was to create an art gallery as a work of art. He envisioned a space that would be part art activity as well as art an object. Along with co-founder Holly Fouladi, Linder created Linc Real Art. Their mission has always been to present high-quality art in a comfortable and relaxed environment. It is just this kind of original thinking that has led to the unique, inviting ambiance at Linc. February highlights a solo show of artist Rudi Molacek’s digital art, paintings and videos. Linder will also be closing out the month with a show of his own new epoxy paintings and digital art works, which will run through mid-April. His work has been described as “conceptual folk art,” although he refers to it more as stylistically Buddhist. “I work to the point of boredom and then lose myself in the process. It’s sort of inane, meditative, fetish-ized work,” states Linder. If you can’t get enough of Linc Real Art, Linder and Fouladi have also lined up an artistic collaboration with the nightclub MIGHTY (located at 15th & Utah, SF). Linc has created a visual art program exclusively for Mighty, which will change on a quarterly basis, and will include video art, painting, drawing and other media of fine art. Mighty offers a 7000 square foot floor plan and 24-foot ceilings to which Linder states, “The possibilities for presenting a compelling range of contemporary art are limitless.”

Contact Information:

• Linc Real Art 1632c Market, San Francisco, Ca 94102 415.503.1981 • Charles Linder’s work can bee seen at www. He is represented by Brian Gross Fine Art and has works in the SFMOMA collection as well as the Di Rosa Preserve. • Mighty, 119 Utah at 15th Street.

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ne glance at the bruised, blood-blistered skull of the lonely skinheaded Offspring fan who stuck around to hear the fine-show-closingperformance by Jane’s Addiction at 2003’s Live105 not so Silent Night, and it’s screechingly clear that Mosh Pinching has made its ugly appearance in San Francisco on this night at Bill Graham Civic Center. Since the scuttling of true moshing in the late 90’s, due to numerous injuries (and a few tragic deaths in countries few have visited), Mosh Pinching had slowly gained steam in the underground music scene. Believed to been born in London during a fabulous Morrissey concert in 1996, Mosh Pinching has now goosed its way into the alternative mainstream. Although purported to originally create a sense

of community at concerts, most music faithful say the practice was ruined when so called “red necks” started attending underground shows just to “cop a feel” on their cousins in loud, dark places (which, legend has it, also began the pit salute: “Squeal like a pig!”, often heard while Mosh Pinching). Jane’s Addiction delivered yet another masterful performance in their 2003 return as perennial recording and live artists, but we all must ask, are our wretched-swollen nipples worth it?!

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where’s my f*in’ money, be-watch?!! A Tokyo-based company, by the ludicrously sick name Pimp Watches, has finally come up with the ultimate in timepiece accessory to keep it pimpin’ non-stop, around the clock. This funkedout beauty is called “Trip the Light Fantastic.” It tells time, Captains ho’s, and is a raver’s wet dream. The Lite-Brite Effect: 72 little LED’s in orange, red, and green lights not only make up the watch face, they also power a whole new method of telling time. We originally looked at this thing like monkeys at a monolith, but the fly-ness of it all came with understanding its method. And, check out their sell: “A Pimp watch could change your life, new relationships, a promotion, more self confidence and esteem. The possibilities are endless.” You mean this watch can make my exgirlfriend leave me alone and make my boss kiss my ass? Nice motto, but sorry, we don’t believe that a timepiece will make up for time lost. Pimp Watches pride themselves on innovative retro design, high-quality and

limited production at an attainable price (around $150 US). Quality, not quantity, because limited production means only 2000 available in Japan and 500 outside. However, Trip the Light Fantastic (as seen) sold out so quickly under such high demand that, for the first time ever, they’ll be rolling out a few more of this limited edition ticker ( If you’re still not lucky enough to get in on this model, look for the “Pimp Ain’t Easy” in late February, and other new designs available each month. (The shirt off your back, the clock off your wrist...this watch is definitely worth stealing!)

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qtips and qberts are getting rid of the wax: vinyl is on the outs Like Boy George and Culture Club’s 20th Reunion tour, it seems like only a few years ago that vinyl was staging the biggest comeback in the history of music. There was hope for the future. It was targeting a younger audience this time: the ever-increasing culture of electronic music, and the thousands of DJs born each day. Vinyl was hopping back into the ring as cratediggers were sifting through old stacks and beat-producers were pressing new tracks. But there’s a reason that bands break-up, and there’s a reason why vinyl’s future is fading: CD players like the Technics SL-DZ1200 (this time hate the player, not the game!) Ironically or appropriately enough, the threat comes from companies like Technics, whose original turntable launched in 1969, helped build the vinyl industry and produced a staple

component of all clubs and home-spun DJs through the 90’s and still today, the SL-1200. They’re looking towards the future of music where CDs and MP3s are all you need. And with the much-anticipated public release of the new multi-functional Digital Turntable/CD Player, the SLDZ1200, scheduled for May 2004, even those loyal to the old school are raising a brow of interest. Like it’s vinyl-loving brother the SL-1200, this digital deck is soon to be standard issue across the industry. The SL-DZ1200 is equipped with “full scratch facility via direct drive platter, cue save, on-board sampling and looping, SD cue point save, auto cue load, vinyl simulation and more.” Basically, it’s sexy as hell and has the technology to back. According to one half of Deep Dish, Sharam Yayebi, vinyl will soon become a “collector’s item.” Gear like the SL-DZ1200 is making the threat to its extinction all too real.

If you can’t wait until May to check these out, you can see them in action at the CD player’s own monthly party at Turnmills in London. The launch event is on February 14th. Who’s spinning discs? You guessed it, Deep Dish.

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special thanks to Yerba Buena Market



By Noel Chandler


very Saturday morning in my twelfth year on this earth I woke up to watch a television show called “Kids Incorporated” (it was 1985, pre-Jennifer Love Hewitt days). I was completely in love with one of the show’s stars, Stacy Ferguson; OH my god she was so hot and completely toyed with the sexual confusion that was my adolescence. If you: A) disagree or B) have no idea what I’m talking about, go to and download her rendition of Scandal’s “Goodbye to You” in the video clips section (it’s only in mono, but totally worth it). She’s a jumping beautiful musical genius and I will fight whoever says differently. At age twelve I should have

been playing soccer, but woke up instead wanting to sing, dance and wear a headband. I’ll admit it: my first inclination to become a star was born out of my lust for a female in the same profession. I had no idea what sex was, but I wanted to have a lot of it…and with her. So I told my mother about my wish (the one to be a star, not the sex) and she said “Really? We had several people ask us to put you in commercials and on TV.” This was my chance! I told her what a wonderful mother she was and suggested we call them right away to negotiate my contract. “Oh, no,” she said, “that was when you were a baby. We would have felt horrible exploiting you for our financial benefit.” Chalk it up as the first of over 2,700 blows I’ve been dealt regarding the worst decision ever made on my behalf. Having the barber cut my hair in third grade to look like Olympic ice skater Dorothy Hammel? Fine. Thinking

it was a good idea to take the honest approach in fifth grade and tell my class I had head lice? No problem. But this was, and still is, unacceptable. Mom and Dad: I don’t remember 98% of the crap I did before age 10… what were you thinking? I got two words for you: Peter Billingsley. You know what he did from 1984 to 2000? Dick. He collected residual checks from “A Christmas Story” and probably hung out in his mansion, which I’m sure is right next to the one he built for his parents with Hershey’s “Messy Marvin” checks. You didn’t want to exploit me? Are you kidding? I was cute! I had freckles! I could sing! Now I WORK for a living. I don’t have 7 cars. Now, instead of being a bitter ex-child star that punches people who still call him “Screech”, I’m just bitter. And broke. To any parents of young children out there, I tell you this: yes, your kid is cute; a talented musical genius… so what do you have to lose? If you can slide them into a commercial, television show or movie, do it, dammit! I’m not saying dress them up like

a little beauty pageant hooker or have them “flirt with the casting director” or anything like that. But if you see an ad for Mickey Mouse Club casting, pack up the car and sing “who’s-gonna-be-thereto-right-out-the-checksthat-are-made for-you and me?!? M-I-C-K-E-Y, parents-don’t-you-see!” the whole way there. If they don’t make the cut, tell them Mickey Mouse worships Satan or think of

something more creative. I’m not telling you HOW to parent, I’m just telling you WHAT to do. Seriously, plenty of child stars don’t turn out to be Security Guards (Gary Coleman, Diff’rent Strokes), or hold up Las Vegas video stores (Dana Plato, Diff’rent Strokes), or star in porn that can be rented in one of those video stores (Jaimee

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Foxworth, Family Matters) or marry porn stars (Lisa Loring, The Addams Family) or commit any other assorted crimes and silly acts, like, for example, beating up transvestites (Danny Bonaduce, The Partridge Family) or mail fraud (Darlene Gillespie, The Mickey Mouse Club), or selling their molars on Ebay (Corey Haim, Lucas) or shoplifting, using drugs and then getting reported dead when they’re not (Adam Rich, Eight is Enough). IS eight enough? I think it’s plenty. Based on my research, however, do what you can to put them in some sort of Christmas movie, just to be sure. Peter Billingsley, 16 years after “A Christmas Story”, went on to co-produce “Made” and Seth Green, who’s been in about 430 movies, starred in “Charlie’s Christmas Secret”. Two years after she quit Kids Incorporated, Jennifer Love Hewitt went on to make her own Christmas movie, “Home for Christmas with Jennifer Love Hewitt”. And Stacy Ferguson – You’re the hottie chick in the Black Eyed Peas. . You rocked my pre-pubescent world and still do. I’ll never say “goodbye to you.” Call me.

NOT YOUR MAMA’S FLYER Creativity Beats Quantity



utting on an event is easy, right? Find a space, have people bring their records and all of the city’s hippest will show up ready to rock ‘til the cops knock to tell you that breakfast is being served. If this is the case where you live, you’d best keep it a secret because promoters will quickly flood your city, and you too will have to start “earning it”. Earning it is exactly what Creative Director/DJ/ Producer Scott Carrelli is doing with “Satellite” at Anu Bar, the unofficial after-party for “Qool Happy Hour” (Wednesdays @ 111 Minna). With many promoters in the city looking to “bigger and brighter” methods of getting their parties noticed (thanks for the big orange cartoon DJ-Bot poster, by the way, I’ll put it on the ceiling over my bed so I can dream about the future in day-glow every night), Carrelli has moved towards a more simple and relevant approach in making people both smile and show up: edible flyers, including Skittles, Reese’s and bags of popcorn. No, you can’t get 10,000 printed for $300, but you might as well make promoting fun again and make some friends in the process. Plus, these things never get thrown away.

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Wednesdays, 10pm at Anu Bar, Always Free, $3 Stella Artois Info:

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By Noel Chandler

If you’ve never heard of the sketch comedy troop Killing My Lobster, welcome to San Francisco. Alcatraz is on your left, the Mission is on your right and that one right there in the middle with all the yelling, cussing and invisible crossing guards? That’s Sixth Street.

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first heard about this hilarious crew with roots from Brown University two years ago when an un-sober friend of mine told me that we had to go and see a hysterical play called ‘Killing Red Lobster’. “It’s supposed to be SO funny,” he said, “I think it’s like a dinner theater or something.” I wasn’t sold and we didn’t go. Last November I went to my first “killing” (?) and vowed to never miss another, but also made it a personal mission to do a better job of helping people, whether they’ve seen the show or not, spread the word and make KML famous. On second thought, I’m not sure fame is what they’re after. They would rather just have enough money to sit around and make each other (and anyone else who happens to be watching) laugh all day. That’s exactly what they did when I recently sat in on the first rehearsal for their newest show, ‘Killing My Lobster Pop!’

heir next installment, covering a twisted mélange of celebrity and pop culture, spares no feelings of the famous, whether the root of the sketch is fact, fiction or straight-up rumor. In fact, the name ‘Killing My Lobster’ was originally conceived out of an alcoholinduced happy accident while the group was playing the name game, ‘Celebrity’. In the 6 plus years they’ve been together, happy accidents have provided more than enough material to keep things fresh on stage. “We like to create an atmosphere of open communication in rehearsals and meetings, where people know that the playing field is level and that they can make suggestions,” says cofounder Jon Continued on next page...

Photos by Gene X Hwang

“Melanie [Case] recently acquired a BMX bike, and got some pegs for her birthday, so we are pretty well-covered in the world of Motorcross. James [Bewley] is an excellent dancer, as are, really, all of the women in the group - so if we are talking Dance Dance Revolution at the Sony Metreon -we are the comedians to bet on. And just in general, any big team strength sports like Tug-O-War or VW Bug lifting contests, we are at a distinct advantage -- especially if we can call on our alumni for help. Weaknesses? Marc [Vogl] has had problems building things we bought from IKEA, so we’d be creamed in any Scandiwegian furniture building competitions.” Wolanske, “but at the end of the day, it’s the director’s stressful and ultimately very rewarding job of calling the shots and making the big decisions. We are of the mindset that too many chefs can really fuck up a good ham sandwich.” I’ve tasted the sandwich he speaks of and it’s dee-lish. After the rehearsal, I was told that not all of the material I heard would be in the actual show and promised not to give anything away, but I can say several things for sure: 1) If Ron Howard calls you up and has an extra ticket to the show, save yourself the embarrassment of being his seatmate and come up with a heinous case of lactose intolerance. 2) Rock stars make horrible pets. 3) There will be absolutely no Michael Jackson jokes, they promise. Sure, Killing My Lobster is a great sketch comedy group, but how do they compare to the others? I asked them how well they would fair against another sketch troop in a series of physical challenges:


caught up with some of the Lobsters individually after the rehearsal and got a few questions answered before they scuttled away (gimme a break. It’s the first lobster reference I’ve used all story)… SPE: This next show is about celebrity and no doubt many of you are local celebrities around San Francisco. Tell me about the funniest/most interesting time someone has approached you in public: Tonya Glanz: I was at a restaurant and I noticed a lady staring at me out of the corner of her eye. I ignored it, because I figured there was something wrong with me (there usually is). Shyly, she asked, ‘I’m sorry, are you in Killing My Lobster?’ and I put down my forkful of steak tartar and earnestly replied, ‘Yes. Yes I am.’ She said ‘Yeah. I saw your last show. It was, uh, interesting.’ There was a moment of uncomfortable silence. Silence. Silence. Then she took Continued on pg. 56...

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Wardrobe at Neiman Marcus Union Square 150 Stockton Street San Francisco, White Jacket Armani $895.00, white Celine pant $445.00, vintage beaded necklace stylist own.

Model Whitney @ stars the agency Hair and Make-up Sherrie Long @ artist untied Shopping and wardrobe assistance Darlene Dull

THIS PAGE: White Tie jacket Agnona Italy Neiman Marcus SF $1350.00, new red bracelet Guys and Dolls SF $24.00, red ring and scarf stylist own. FACING PAGE: White Channel coat $1865.00 Neiman Marcus Union Square, vintage patterned scarf and bracelet stylist own.

Dolce & Gabanna Button Blouse $545.00 Neiman Marcus, orange scarf and black earrings stylist own.

Channel Texture Dress $1955.00 Neiman Marcus, Golden haystack necklace $345.00, Honey bracelet $240.00 Brooke Jasmine.

YSL blouse $795.00 Neiman Marcus, palm wood ring stylist own, yellow hoop earrings $24.00 Guys and Dolls.

David Meister white leather ďŹ tted coat $548.00 Neiman Marcus, sun glasses stylist own.

THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE UGLY We were getting desperate. We had spent the past year, and a serious chunk of our personal fortunes and sanity, making our first film and now it seemed like nobody wanted to show it.

A Year on the Film Festival Circuit By Jay Spieden

To be sure, we weren’t asking for an invite to Sundance, but we felt like our film The Cloggers of Putneyville a mock-u-mentary about the fictional sport of extreme mountain clogging -- was damn funny and would be a nice addition to at least one or two (of the thousands) of film festivals that have popped up like kudzu vine across America.

I decided it was a start, a good start. In reality, it was as good as it would get.

I think I was mailing off a VHS copy to Nigeria, along with my bank account number, when I got the call from my filmmaking partner Stewart. We’d gotten into the Durango Film Festival. “OK”, I thought, “here we go. Durango.” I’d never been there. It sounded like a snowy place, perhaps surrounded by mountains, perhaps a mining town, but I liked it already.

Don’t get me wrong. The Durango Film Festival is a good film festival. But, it being our first festival we didn’t know that, unlike Durango, not every festival gives your film three separate showings over the course of a week, pays for your room and food, offers local press interviews, tons of professional feedback, is full of nice people and keeps a Filmmakers Lounge

Photo by Ryan Roylance


After a week in Durango, where we were in heaven, we actually signed our first autographs. We thought this was the norm. We also thought we were well on our way to being stars. Anyone who has been on the film festival circuit knows that it’s not that easy.


We started getting some favorable replies. Telluride Mountain Film Festival (where we took the award for Best First Film), The Santa Fe Film Festival and The Lake Havasu Film Festival, to name a few. Trouble was we’d spent so much money making the film itself, we were now very poor and couldn’t afford to attend every one of these festivals. So, we had to pick and choose. In retrospect, we made some bad choices. One of these was another film festival, The Telluride Indie Fest. I don’t know why we chose to attend. Perhaps it was the snappy name that included the word “Indie” that grabbed our attention. Maybe it was that the festival took place at the same time as the prestigious Telluride Film Festival, which promised the allure of real Hollywood stars and starlets being in attendance. Maybe it was just pride. To save money I flew to Albuquerque, rented a Dodge Stratus and drove off into the desert night. Some seven hours later I arrived in Telluride at 4am. The next morning we screened our

Photo by Helene Marie Ambrose

stocked with beer and wine and whiskey that flows along with a raucous party late into the night.

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film at the Public Library on a VHS machine for a few of the festival director’s friends. He had a bad perm and wore a neon sweatsuit shell and Oakley wraparound sunglasses: “You’re ALL winners!” he kept saying. But neither he, nor his friends, nor his 12-year old daughter who was operating the VHS machine, seemed much interested in our film. We found out that a lot of these film festivals are scams designed to make money off of submission fees without really providing filmmakers with any real benefit. The Telluride Indie Fest was one such festival. What I also now know is that getting to Telluride is never easy.

Fevered and broke, I made a run for the airport only to run out of gas outside a deserted truck stop where, for a short time, I was certain I was going to be killed and eaten by a shirtless drifter named Reggie.


Truth is, we should have learned from the experience. But there’s always the thought that the next festival will be the one that breaks things open; that gets you an agent and changes your life. It’s probably vanity, but when that acceptance call comes, it’s hard to say “No”. So, we got the call from a small festival in LA, the

Continued on pg. 58...

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Photo by Ryan Roylance

Depressed, we holed up in a bar and both ended up getting vicious head colds and spent the next two days in the very small, very expensive hotel room watching extended cable and expelling gas - probably, I’d like to think, due to the extreme altitude. My one run-in with Hollywood fame came when I almost ran over film critic Leonard Maltin in my rented Stratus as he was coming out of some exclusive Telluride Film Festival party.



ith a European tour, a book, a fashion line in the near future and travels that take him to Singapore, Tokyo and Guadalajara (among other destinations), the life of Sam Flores sounds more like that of an international superstar than a twenty-something artist living in San Francisco. His works are framed in respected galleries, exposed on city streets, adorned on metal cars and painted on canvas shoes. They are street. They are native. They are really, really good. While some pieces call upon the influences of his upbringing in the natural beauty of the vast deserts of New Mexico, others spawn from the culture and cityscapes of urban life. Regardless of the influence, his images always evoke an emotion of oneness of “subject and surrounding.” The tranquil beauty of his nature scenes force contemplative thoughts from both

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FLORES the image in the piece and the viewer of the piece. Female figures immersed in labyrinths of flowered vines and animal headdresses on human heads blend subjects with nature. On the opposite end, other works question the divide between man and machine, city and self. From skateboarding and street graf to pan-pacific flights and live shows, Flores’ sights are set for the future. He is currently touring Europe through London, Berlin, Munich, Florence and other cities with the Hidden Twelve Project; an ongoing show/project that highlights different works in/on diverse mediums with a focus on 3D art on various objects. Although these works are far from sitespecific, Flores knows the impact of environmental acculturation, and always creates pieces that are seemingly perfect Continued on pg. 45...

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matches with their settings. The goal of the Hidden Twelve Project’ is not only to get the word out about his own works, but Flores will be including other talented artists and their works, as well as younger, break-through artists, in upcoming shows. His new 90-page book chronicling the first 10 years of his artistic career was released in July of last year. It includes several styles and mediums of works including graffiti, fine art, street art and design. For a sneak peak of the book, and an even better look of his art, check out Put on an ambient disc, pour some sake and enjoy the artwork slideshows of the talented Sam Flores.

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TEN BLOCKS, FOUR HOURS, FIFTY BUCKS A Sunday to relax on Valencia Street

By Jamieson Chandler & Noel Chandler

ather than lie and make crap up ALL R the time, we decided to actually get out on the streets to research what to

write about. This being our third issue, we thought we’d give it a whirl by driving down Valencia Street in pursuit of real life editorial. Our mission was to spend an afternoon in the Valencia Corridor, find cool stores, talk to neighborhood strangers, check out the area’s art, and whatever we did, we told “don’t f**k around!” We had $50, a loaded bowl, and a scorching desire to get drunk on the job. First things first, we had to figure out what the hell the Valencia Corridor was. We found the first friendly looking native named Omer that we could and asked him if we’d found it. We also asked to take his picture. To both questions, he answered, “I don’t care.” Omer is the self-crowned “King of the Corridor”, and although his slurry rendition of a 70’s pop-song (we can’t remember which) was excellent, he wouldn’t give us a sip out of his mysterious white cup, so we moved on. Time lost, but not wasted…yet.

SPE | 46


ur next stop was Valencia Whole Foods, whose nice staff offered us an Art Bar and some healthy, organic foods. We appreciated the gesture, but let’s get serious: we weren’t running a marathon and they don’t sell tequila, so we left for La Rondalla. Literally a catacomb of Christmas’s past, layers of decorations plaster the interior of this festive Mexican eatery on the corner of 19th. We don’t know what “La Rondalla” stands for, but after two margaritas, a bean burrito and what can only be described as a “slight miscommunication”, we think it means “I hate you, friend.”


old to “bájese de su asses”, we decided to take a stroll down to Subterranean Shoe Room (which, by the way, is not underground). Mental note: don’t walk around taking pictures and talking about “plans for the new Skechers store”. On our budget, we weren’t buying any new kicks, so we tried using our media clout to get free stuff. “Oh yeah, I’ve heard of Slightly Pointed East. It’s our ‘dump book’ in the staff bathroom.” Thoroughly pleased, we took our smiles and shotguns and continued onward in search of art.

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n our way to the Clarion Alley Mural Project, we squeezed by the Elbo Room, remembering our ‘Better than the Rest of the Bay 1988’ three word review: “There is none.” Seriously, it was funny at the time. Clarion alley holds over 11 years of local art history. Founded in 1992, the Clarion Alley Mural Project (CAMP) has overcome its own personal plights to exist and thrives today. Politics, struggle, rage and beauty, these walls speak loudly and are worth a listen.


-G-G-Good V-V-V-Vibrations has moo-OH-OH-OH-ooved. To the corner of 17th street!

All sexed up and our buzzes fading, we headed next to Casanova Bar. It was Sunday. It was a bar. We had beers. We expected nothing more and got nothing less. A scratch on the eight ball and we were on our way… This wasn’t supposed to be an afternoon of “mustdo shopping”, but there are just some deals you can’t pass up. When in Mexico, we visit la farmacia. When on Valencia, we visit Clothes Contact. Vintage by the pound? There’s got to be a crime here somewhere. After scoring some polyester and a few snap shots of their racks, we followed the rainbow to the pot of gold.

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efore the day even started, we knew we would end up at Zeitgeist, Valencia’s Playboy Mansion. After Saturday nights come Sunday afternoons and there’s no better backyard in the city for burgers, beers and bowls. One drink turned into three, and just as we became highly paid and invincible, it began to get dark (and we began to get broke). We headed to the corner store to mix our own “struttin’ sodas” and then passed through the light of Zen City Records on our way back home.


t the end of the afternoon, it seemed like we got nothing done, but accomplished everything we set out to do. We never determined exactly what the Valencia Corridor is, but figured it to be the chill, sometimes angry, sometimes quaint, neighborhood between 13th and 23rd (on and around Valencia, of course). There are plenty of cool shops, interesting people, and places to drink. We met some really nice folks along the way, and more importantly, left with an economysized buzz. For those reasons and more, we’ll see you back there next Sunday.

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Boogaloos - breakfast 3296 22nd Street @ Valencia (415) 824-3211 Burger Joint - burgers 807 Valencia @ 19th Street Café Ethiopia – african food, african art 878 Valencia Street @ 19th (415) 285-2728 La Rondalla – tequila, burritos & christmas decorations 901 Valencia Street @ 19th (415) 647-7474 Luna Park – so good, open til 11:30pm 694 Valencia Street @ 17th 415.553.8584 Osha - great thai food (open til midnight) 819 Valencia Street @ 18th (415) 826-7738

BUY Aquarius Records – music and videos 1055 Valencia Street (415) 647-2272 Circa Boutique – local designers, jewelry, clothes, accessories between 16th & 17th Clothes Contact – vintage by the pound 473 Valencia @ 16th (415) 621-3212 Den – furniture, housewares 849 Valencia Street @ 19th (415) 285-7949 Good Vibrations – sex info, toys, videos, new location Valencia @ 17th Street Hats – hats between 18th & 19th

Valencia Whole Foods – organics 999 Valencia Street @ 20th (415) 285-0231

Mimi Barr - local designers, clothing 3153 16th Street @ Albion (415) 864-6129

We Be Sushi 538 Valencia Street @ 16th (866) 877-7967

Nisa - clothing manufacturer, retail 3610 19TH Street @ Valencia (415) 865-0451


Ruby – local designers, jewelry, accessories, clothing, housewares 3602 20th Street @ Valencia

Elbo Room 647 Valencia Street @ 17th

Soundworks – dj vinyl, mixed cds, friendly owners 228 Valencia Street @ 14th

La Rondalla – tequila, burritos & christmas decorations 901 Valencia Street @ 19th (415) 647-7474

Subterranean Shoe Room – shoes 877 Valencia Street @ 20th

Oxygen Bar – oxygen, elixirs 795 Valencia Street @ 19th 415.255.2102

XTHREADZ – clothing manufacturer, retail 151 Valencia Street @ 13th 415.355.0069

Zeitgeist @ 14th Street

Zen City Records – vinyl, mixed cds @ 13th Street

Amnesia - chimay on tap, free pretzels 853 Valencia Street @ 20th (415) 970-8336

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Fashion 2004: Accents

Fresh Looks For Spring Photography: Mark Rutherford Styling: Nissa Quanstrom, Artist Untied

STICK IT TO YA! Pin on the ďŹ nishing touch. Heart tattoo, handmade accessories, clips and pins can be found at, wooden box $6 at Paxton Gate, San Francsisco (415) 824-1872.

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Spring Forward The soul beyond the shoes. Subterranean stocks more than kicks.

Nixon GTO gold-faced watch $129, Silver Diesel with green face watch $195, Nixon silver face $159, all can be found at Subterranean, San Francisco, 563 Valencia Street, (415) 431-9504.

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When nature calls Blending natural designs with modern style.

Brown African imported rings made from Tecuma palm, $40 each, Silver stick earrings, $60, Gold disk earrings, $60, Brown collector box $6 all at Paxton Gate in San Francisco, 824 Valencia Street (415) 824-1872.

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Fleur De Fashion A budding designer blossoms in the city.

Aquamarine, pearl, and emerald flower brooch, $275, Oscar Chandelier earrings $300, Blue Obsidian, pearl, and emerald flower brooch $275, Two flower ring $120, all by Nancy Dobbs Owen

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the initiative to break the ice and said ‘I saw the summer show twice. You were great…hey guys, wait up!’ She walked away quickly, and I swear she farted as she did.

Emily Helfgot: When I grow up I want to be an underwater welder.

SPE: Why do you love being a part of KML?

Melanie Case: I loved this one costume Shaye Troha wore once in rehearsal for ‘Walks This Way.’ It never made it into the show, but it was this hysterical sketch about the dreams of these everyday people who kept falling asleep and the audience could see what they were dreaming. James Bewley was digging a hole in the ground, and fell asleep digging. Shaye came out as his dream, wearing this orange leotard with sequins, a tutu, stiletto heels, and a pink half mask. She just pantomimed digging. That was James’ character’s dream…dreaming of digging. I just thought it was a riot that his dream dug in stiletto heels.

Daniel Lee: I love the opportunity to create good work with staggeringly talented, funny, smart people whom I admire and respect, who challenge and inspire me daily, and in whose company I am constantly humbled. It is one I feel incredibly fortunate and blessed to have. I would be a fan of KML if I didn’t know a soul in it, but luckily for me, my very best friends are among its members. Also, there’s all that cocaine. SPE: What’s the biggest asset you bring to KML? Molly Berry: Before I was a “part” of KML (last week to be exact) I just remember thinking how cool they all were and how much I wanted to be a part of “the gang”. Now, here I am, finally a part of it. I think since I’ve only been with the group for 2 rehearsals so far, my biggest asset is still my chest. SPE: What do you want to be when you grow up?

SPE: What is your favorite KML costume?

SPE: Ask me a question: Ian Scott McGregor: Do you know who keeps stealing shit off of my car? Last week it was the front right blinker assembly…the WHOLE assembly. Killing My Lobster Pop! February 26 - March 7, 2004 (days and times vary) Theater Artaud, San Francisco Tickets & Info:


Palisades Film Festival. I wasn’t going to attend, but hell, it’s just LA. I’d just pop down in my car, show the film and that would be it. Throughout our festival tour, sometimes the film played well. Other times, not so well. As with all films, it depends on a lot of different factors - the age of the audience, the availability of prescreening cocktails, the number of people in attendance. It’s an inexact science. The one thing you can usually count on is being able to find the theater without being caught in a flash flood. At the Pacific Palisades Film Festival, the film gods meted out factors not in my favor. It rained that night like I’ve never seen it rain. Whole minutes passed when I couldn’t even see the road. When I finally found the theater, I was very late. Most of the people had left, or not even bothered

to leave home in such horrid weather. The festival director was not pleased, but he showed the film directly after one of the most uplifting, heart-wrenching, well-executed documentaries that I’ve ever had the pleasure of viewing. Shit, everyone, me included, was in tears by the end of it. Needless to say, it was not the best time to play a mock-u-mentary –even one about clogging. It was a long, rainy drive back to San Francisco. Perhaps we’ll show our film again at some yet-to-be-named festival. But, before we do, I want some simple guarantees. No rainstorms. No desert night drives or murderous shirtless drifters. And, perhaps the promise of an all night filmmaker’s lounge. With all the troubles we go through to make films, is that really too much to ask?



THE EAST END SPE LAUNCH PARTY • BRUNOS, SAN FRANCISCO • 01.22.04 Photos by Gene X Hwang & Lee Fenyves

Slightly Pointed East: Issue #3  

Killing My Lobster, Driving In Style, Sam Flores, Child Stardom, The Good The Bad & The Ugly

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