Speak Woman Magazine- Winter 2019 Issue

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Winter 2019 Volume 5-Issue 1

Footsteps To

Destiny Breaking The Routine In

2019 Howard Mentor, Educator, & Community Leader

Her Story Of Pain, Perseverance, & Praise Spotlighting the strength, diversity, & uniqueness of this journey called womanhood 1


CONTENTS

Breaking The

Footsteps

Routine

To

In

Destiny

2019

With

Pg. 10

Dr. Richmond Pg. 5

Tips On

Digital Dating Pg. 22

Woman To Watch

Tory Grayson Pg. 24

Pg. 12

Deborah Howard’s Story Of Pain, Perseverance, & Praise 2


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A New Year is once again upon us. A time to reset and refocus. A time to review the many lessons learned and create a fresh strategy for the upcoming year. One of our goals for 2019 is to increase focus on our mission; to be a vessel of information while promoting positivity. This issue features inspirational stories of what happens when we focus on persevering. Have a story? We invite you to share your story in Speak Woman! Be Blessed, Shanda Campbell, Founder of Speak Woman

Speak Woman

was created with a simple mission; to uplift & spotlight the positivity in EVERY woman! We strive to be a vessel of information for our readers. Trademark Property of Speak Woman Magazine, LLC Founder/Editor-At-Large La’Shanda Campbell Publisher Speak Woman Magazine, LLC Speak Woman welcomes submissions.

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Dr. Tanisha Richmond Richmond Foot & Ankle Clinic

Footsteps To Destiny

SWM: Why did you become a doctor, specifically a Podiatrist? Dr. Tanisha Richmond: Well, I always wanted to be a doctor. I didn’t necessarily know what type. My mother is a nurse. My father was in the Air Force and is now a funeral home director. I went to college and didn’t get in (medical school) on my first attempt. My mother suggested that I become a foot doctor. During my second semester of Podiatry school I went into DKA (Diabetic Ketoacidosis). I made it to the last final exam which was on diabetes and noticed that I had every symptom. I was experiencing frequent urination along with weight and vision loss. I recall sitting in class and being unable to see clearly. I called my mom and told her that I thought I was diabetic. She said I probably was and instructed me to go to the doctor. I went to the doctor and my blood sugar was too high for detection, so I was sent to the ER and was given insulin and other medications. I sat out of school for a semester, went back and failed a final then went straight to Summer school and threatened by the Dean. I completed the program and have been an advocate for Diabetes Awareness. I understand what living with diabetes is. I’ve been on all the medicines and have a collection of glucometers. 5


Dr. Richmond: Our clinic

overall American diet. A recent specializes in diabetes because we seminar shared that 1 in 3 Americans is going to be diabetic care for a lot of diabetics. Since I’ve been diabetic for 17 years, I within the next 20 years due to have a special place in my brain obesity. Type 1 diabetes is caused for diabetes. I am very much into by obesity. In short, the fat causes preventative care, preventing limb the pancreas to burn out. loss, preventing amputations, Also, a lot of the African especially in the African-American community as my uncle has lost a American community likes to pray it away. We like not to claim it or leg. Being a diabetic I have the same concerns as my patients and listen to cousins and Dr. Google. we can go toe to toe, they give me Dr. google has gotten limbs cut excuses and I give them solutions. off. Then you must go back to the In the Summer month’s I keep Tuskegee experiment which sugar free foods like ice cream, caused us not to trust the medical drinks, and candy to give patients community. There is a lot of misto try. They often say that it doesn’t taste bad. I’m an advocate trust in the black community. I just because I see young people dying give them the facts of what the and losing limbs every day. They consequences will be. I give them are either on dialysis or on the cultural tips on how to season food way. with healthier products. For instance, adding smoked turkey to SWM: Why is DM so greens for flavor. I talk about prevalent in the African sugar-free desserts. The failure of American community? the health care system is that they Dr. Richmond: It’s our give them a diagnosis with no diet. That soul food/slavery diet. realistic solutions which can be Not just African American it’s the discouraging. 6


SWM: What made you

SWM: So, you mentor

start your own practice instead of partnering with larger organizations?

young people?

Dr. Richmond: I do. I just

think being in the presence of a Dr. Richmond: Well, be- black owned business exposes cause I am a black person and they them to something difference. They see that I am a were going to exploit black woman with me and make me see “They see that I am dread locks. I am only Medicaid a black woman with authentically and Medicare me. dread locks. I am patients. That’s authentically me. “ what they pretty For them to see much told me. In an organized and our profession some legitimate, blacksay we eat our owned business just young, but I don’t completely shows them that they can do it. I agree with that. I think unless you saw that in my grandfather who have a business you don’t truly owned a funeral home. He passed understand the ends and outs of a few years ago and now my father business. It may appear that there and brother run it. When I started are tons of money coming in, but my business my father and brother after paying for the overhead I funded it. may only have a couple cents left. I’ve had youth workers and This is why I have young workers young people come in and they are coming in to work and see how amazing. They’re so quick to catch business works. This allows them on. They are like little computers. to see the inner workings of a You give them a task and they business. complete it so quickly. 7


SWM: What is the biggest SWM: What would you hurtle in sustaining your practice?

tell a young woman that desires to own a business?

Dr. Richmond:

Dr. Richmond: Learn and

The day-to-day running of a business. I’ll be starting an MBA program because Podiatry school only teaches you how to become a doctor and not how to run a business. Most Podiatrists own their own practice, but know nothing about running a business.

train. Not only going to college. I mean, YouTube is technically a university (ha). You can take classes online. There are tons of things that will teach and train you to do whatever you desire.

Another issue is finding quality employees. A friend of mine told me “if everyone did things like you, they would be you”. I attended a training that showed that if an employee fails it is the fault of the trainer not the trainee. I strive to assure that my staff is trained and educated to assure that they are comfortable in responding to patients’ general questions.

1323 W Third St. Dayton, OH 45402 (937) 228-3668 8


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Break The Routine In At the start of each New Year most people begin to create a wish list or ‘resolutions’ for the upcoming year. Most times these lists are quickly forgotten as we continue the our daily routines. We go right back into our comfortable patterns and forget about the desires that we listed during the hustle and bustle of the holiday season. So, how do we Break The Routine in 2019?

1. Analyze

It is said that the greatest lessons are learned best through failures and losses. By examining and reflecting on the ups and downs of the 2018 we are able to celebrate our accomplishments and review “test” scores. This offers a new perspective and can serve as references in our strategy for 2019 assuring a fresh start for the New Year!

relationships or producing a certain number of products each day for your business

3. Anticipate

2. Activate After reflecting on the lessons from 2018 and creating a strategy it is important that we ACTIVATE! To activate simply means creating daily physical actions that will bring us to expected results in the New Year. Your ACTIVATION may be to place three calls a day to build

Every plan must be flexible. We must prepare for opposition. Having flexibility is simply having the ability to change directions quickly and/or bounce back and overcoming any situation. It is also important to remember that everyday new things appear. New programs, products, apps, and software is being created to make our personal and business lives easier. It is important to stay aware of the latest products to assure that you are working smarter not harder.

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Picket Fence has recently joined Patreon. Patreon is a simple way for you to contribute to new ventures. With your help of just $1 a month Picket Fence will be apple to make music videos, healthy living tips videos, as well as, produce weekly podcast. Videos will include healthy recipes, fitness tips, and meal plans based on health conditions. Did you know that most “ailments” like Diabetes, High Blood

Pressure, Obesity, Multiple Sclerosis, and Heart Disease can be eradicated with simple changes to your diet?

We invite you to donate a minimum of $1.00 per month to assure that this life-saving information can be shared freely to those that need it most.

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Howard Mentor, Educator, & Community Leader

Her Story Of

Pain, Perseverance, & Praise 12


SWM: What is your best childhood memory?

Mrs. Howard: I have tons of great memories about my upbringing. My parents came from two different sides of the track My father is a Georgia boy with very humble beginnings. He came to Dayton during the great migration in the 50’s. He didn’t have a lot, but he was a hard worker. He eventually brought my grandparents here and made a very good life for himself. My dad is a great story-teller and is the wisest man I know. My grandfather worked the land and was darn good at it. He could grow anything and cooked the best barbeque ribs. My grandmother was a seamstress and made slip covers and anything else you wanted. My mother is a native Daytonian and a graduate of Patterson Co-Op. She was a Debutante and grew up in a house where my grandmother had bridge parties and my mom 13

would help prepare for the parties by shining the silver. My grandmother was a librarian at “The Field” (WPAFB) and my grandfather was a custodian at Winter’s bank. My mother had an uncle who graduated from The Ohio State around the turn of turn of the century (1900’s) as a pharmacist. But, because he was a “negro” he couldn’t find a job as a pharmacist and ended up working as a porter for the railroad. My great grandmother and Matilda Dunbar (Paul Lawrence Dunbar’s mother) were very good friends and she named my great uncle Ralph Dunbar Taylor. He and Paul L. Dunbar worked together by lighting the street lights of Dayton back in the early 1900’s. That’s when the street lights were lit by fire, not electricity. My parents married when they were 20 and are still married today...64 years later and 84 years old. I have a rich history and phenomenal parents.


I grew up in Jefferson Township. A small, friendly and family oriented community that was predominantly African American. It wasn’t until I was grown and talked to other people that lived in “the city” that people thought that Jefferson was where the rich black people lived. That was so far from the truth. Our community was mostly blue-collar workers. We certainly didn’t consider ourselves rich. We were rich in community, family and a bond like no other. Unless you went to Jefferson, it’s kind of hard to put into words how we still take care of each other. Most of us went to school together from kindergarten to graduation. We are a very close community, even today. My husband says it’s like a cult (ha) because of the type of bond we have. He says “Jeffersonians are everywhere!”

my oldest sister in 2015 of breast cancer. That was two devastating blows to our family. I’m grateful that my other sister, Terrie, and I were able to spend the last few weeks of my sister’s life with her in Cleveland Hospice. The care she received was phenomenal. It prompted both of us to volunteer at our local Hospice’s. My sister, Terrie, who lives in Orlando, does beautiful personalized videos for patients telling their stories to leave for their families. I’m just starting, so I’ll be going in to read to patients, talk with them, and just provide some level of comfort. It hurts me when I see some of the patients with no family or visitors.

SWM: With such a strong family background where did life take you next?

I am the baby of five. Unfor- Mrs. Howard: I made tunately, only three of us are still some choices as a teenager that living. I lost my oldest brother in were not in my best interest. I got 2005 of a fatal asthma attack and pregnant and had my first child at 17...a senior in high school. 14


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I had my son on a Wednesday and was back in school that following Monday because I refused to be a statistic. I was in my co-op year at “The Joint”, which is now Montgomery County CTC and started working as soon as I could. Surprisingly, my class at JVS elected me president of the class. I didn’t want any public assistance or any of that...I wanted to work and take care of me and my son. I moved out of my parents house and after I graduated, moved to Fayetteville, North Carolina (Ft. Bragg) with my son’s father. I had my oldest daughter about 18 months later. Unfortunately, our relationship became abusive and one night, after a big fight, I called a neighbor to take me and my children to the bus station and we fled to Atlanta. I lived there for a while with my brother who is now deceased and tried to rebuild my life. After a few months there, I was hit with a notice that my children’s father was filing for custody and that I had to go back to

North Carolina to appear in court for the hearing. I was scared out of my mind to go back. I knew that if I went back, he would kill me...literally. So, I didn’t go and I didn’t call. I just didn’t believe they would give custody to an abusive person, but because I didn’t show up, they did. One night, while we were sleeping, he came to my apartment, escorted by police and presented me with custody papers. They took my children that night. It was a year before I saw them again. He taunted me continuously about me never seeing my kids again if I didn’t come back. I felt defeated. I moved back home to Ohio and again tried to rebuild my life and get stable enough to fight for custody of my children. I was getting stronger. He was still living in Fayetteville and would bring them to Ohio, unannounced, drop them off at my parents’ front door and drive off. I would have them for months. 16


I thought he was leaving them with me to stay, but after a few months, he would show up at their daycare, custody papers in hand, and snatch them again. He did this several times. I realized this was his way of trying to get me to come back. I finally was able to save enough money after I started working at U.D. to go back to court to get custody. Attorney fees, psychologist fees (to prove that I was a fit mother) was way more than I could afford...BUT GOD! As crazy as that time in my life was, the two children that we share helped me keep my sanity and are AMAZING adults now! Life somewhat on track, I met a man who I eventually married and had two more children. Little did I know that he was addicted to crack. I was so naive. I had absolutely no idea. That was another whirlwind that just makes me shake my head in amazement and thankfulness of God’s mercy, grace, and

protection. With four children of my own, we were also raising his nephew. I was 24 or 25 years old and raising five children...three of them under the age of two. My husband had a terrible addiction and our household suffered tremendously because of it. No money, utilities disconnected, people coming to the house looking for him, etc. It was crazy! We divorced after a few years and I’m thankful that he now has over 20 years of sobriety now and is handling his business. We both knew that we should’ve never married each other, but I got two more AMAZING children as a result. Most of all, I’m thankful that through God, I’ve been able to forgive and heal in both cases and have a good relationship with my children’s fathers. Being single with four children narrowed the dating field for sure. After a couple of failed relationships, I resolved that it would be just me and the kids. B

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But the way my God set up my life, he brought this wonderful, caring, loving man into my live. Stephen L. Howard (Smoke). He came into my life and loved me and my kids without question. We weathered a lot of storms, but on November 25, 2012, I became his wife and I have never been happier. I wish I could write an article just about US...it’s just that good! That’s why I celebrate him, us and our family. Until someone understands your struggle, it’s hard for them to understand your praise. I thank God for my husband every single day. It’s not to boast or brag or paint a picture of a perfect relationship, but after the hell I went through, I’M SO INCREDIBLY THANKFUL!

With the Lord’s guidance, strength and love, I’ve been able to somehow PERSEVERE! I can’t tell you exactly how, because there were certainly 18

days when I didn’t think I could go on, but it never failed that He would send a woman into my life who would encourage me, push me, challenge me and dare me to be better. So many women, in each stage of my life. Unexpectedly, they would be there, and I am convinced that God placed them in my life at the right time to do what needed to be done in that season. My family and my children are my backbone. My father and mother, my ancestors, are STRONG. I come from good stock and we don’t quit! My parents knew the right words to say when I needed that parental guidance and my kids were my motivation. I had to do better for them.

Pain, Perseverance, & Praise


Join Us

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SWM: What would you say to women going through trials in life as you have?

grad and graduate classes...and my DST line). I can tell them what

worked for me. I can tell them how God kept me through it all Mrs. Howard: I would tell and how He is making my latter her that no matter what life throws greater than my former! How this your way, you must dig deep and once weak, insecure girl is now a PERSEVERE through your PAIN! STRONG, CONFIDENT WOMAN! I’ve learned that life is LIFE. Just continue to take the next step and do not believe the negative things that people will try to speak over your life and plant in your spirit. God knows the plan he has for your life (Jeremiah 29:11) He really does. A plan to fulfill purpose. I can say now that I understand why God allowed me to go through so many trials. It was so that I could speak to those who may be facing similar challenges. The single mother who is struggling to take care of her children. The woman who in an abusive relationship. The woman who is a co-dependent of a drug addicted husband. The woman who wants to go back to school but thinks she’s too old Deborah’s Story Of (yes, I was the oldest in my under-

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Tips On “Online dating is just as murky and full of lemons as finding a used car in the classifieds. Once you learn the lingo, it's easier to spot the models with high mileage and no warranty.” – Laurie Perry

Digital Dating

Is online dating right for you? You've realized that By Carolyn Holbrook you live in a cyber world; it's the 21st Century and it's time to change your game plan and take on internet dating. You read where Judsen Culbreth said, “Dating is a numbers game, and online dating has the best odds.” In 2012 a study done by Finkel & Associates found differences with online dating in the following areas: • • •

ACCESS to many more potential partners; but although exciting, it can be overwhelming - kind of like drinking from a fire hydrant. Some sites offer MATCHING SERVICES based on psychological testing and matching, but the matching isn’t always “on target”. COMMUNICATION allows for you to get to know the person in a safer environment, but the disadvantage is that you are not able to observe important nonverbal cues as face-to-face meetings allow.

Digital Dating Do’s • • • • • • • •

Do post a recent picture to your profile. Only respond to people who post a picture, but beware it might not be their photo. Do be honest in your description of yourself and the other person should be just as honest. Do become savvy to the lingo used in profiles. Do be selective and not desperate in your choices. Do be aware that if he sounds to good...He’s probably not all that! Do move the conversations from emails to cell phone to find out more about the person. He may write like a dream, but sound like Elmer Fudd. Do meet in a public place and inform a friend where you will be.

Digital Dating Don'ts

Don’t give out your home phone number or home address. Don’t fall for overused and abused come-on lines. With a little practice...you’ll be able to spot them. • Don’t fall for “big time” scammers who are out to take your money or steal personal information. • •

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Grayson

“Empowerment is supporting others and giving the necessary tools to prosper in life. I firmly believe that what is for you is for you & no man can take it away. So, I believe in sharing knowledge & resources because if one of us make it we all do!”

Woman To Watch Tory Grayson is a Dayton, OH native and single mother of three. She is known for my genuine heart & loyalty, which is why she was nicknamed "Loyal Tee". She is CEO of a full-time bakery while working part-time at Miami Valley Hospital and a full-time student studying Business Manage-

ment & Entrepreneurship.

Loyal Tee’s Custom Cakes launched May 7, 2014 and became accredited by your Better Business Bureau in June of 2016. Her motto is, “Forward Movement Only, because that is the only option I’ll accept”. 24


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