THE Q&A’S
OLYMPIK PHEVER
SHE KNOWS TOO MUCH
Hall toilets. And there was a free carbonara dinner under everyone’s seat! WHEN & WHERE: Thursday 28 March to Tuesday 9 April, Tuxedo Cat
SKITHEADS Describe yourself in exactly 140 characters (length of a tweet)? Madeleine Tucker: An outsider entertainer for the next generation, presenting a strange collection of intriguing spoken word pieces, live advertisements and catchy pop tunes. Who is your biggest celebrity crush and why? Geraldine from Ship To Shore used to come into my work and I’d blush heaps because she was Geraldine from Ship To Shore. What’s your favourite team sport and why? My favourite sport team is the Hommustown Chickpeas. I think they play Celery Stick Cricket. What’s a nightmare you’ve had recently? I dreamt that I was running extremely late for my race at the Olympics! ARRGHHH. What are you looking forward to the most at MICF? Performing at the Forum Theatre! I hope at the end I get to keep one of the ceiling stars as a treasured memento. WHEN & WHERE: Tuesday 9 to Sunday 21 April, Forum, Pizza Room
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Describe yourself in 140 characters (length of a tweet)? Catherine Magill: 4 parts Taurean, 2 parts middle-aged, 1 part magic realism, 3 parts organic, 4 parts chardonnay, 3 parts purple-orange swirl, 1 part dancing queen, the rest chocolate. Who is your biggest celebrity crush and why? If I had one, it would be three parts Alan Rickman, two parts Billy Connolly, two parts Sting and the rest chocolate. What’s your favourite team sport and why? I don’t “do” sport, but now that I live in Melbourne I think I have to say AFL. What’s a nightmare you’ve had recently? I was in a huge crowd going to a Comedy Festival info night. An ex-boyfriend was there, doing what exes do! I couldn’t read the notice board ‘cause the light was dim and I didn’t have my glasses. I couldn’t find the right room, so I just went in the first door. The floor was sloping, the chairs were in diagonal rows facing the walls – it was Alice In Wonderland meets Melbourne Recital
and promptly took flight Banana-Man style and met up with Jessica Alba. What are you looking forward to the most at the MICF? I really enjoy checking out some of the smaller, up-and-coming acts. There’s always going to be a few hits and misses, but you’d be surprised by how much fantastic comedic talent there is out there. Some mates of mine are in a group called Wizard Sandwiches, who are hilarious, so I’ll definitely pop along and check them out. WHEN & WHERE: Wednesday 27 March to Saturday 6 April, Colonial Hotel
Describe yourself in exactly 140 characters (length of a tweet)? Nick Rudich: 29/M/Melbourne. I love a wide variety of comedic styles. I like to sing about mundane things in the voice of James Blunt. If I was a porn star, my name would be Rick Nudich. What’s the best joke you’ve heard recently? A mate of mine had a few of us over for dinner the other night. Quite casually, he said, “I hope that nobody’s allergic to nuts, because I like to rest mine on the table.” And the worst joke? Last week, a colleague of mine arrived an hour late to work. Jokingly, he said to me, “Sorry I’m late, I had to find a vein.” It didn’t go down well with our boss who had just walked in behind him. What’s a dream you’ve had recently? Once I dreamt that I was fighting a bunch of monsters outside my house when I suddenly became aware that I was in a dream. I thought, “Screw this”,
50 SHADES
Describe yourself in exactly 140 characters (length of a tweet)? David J: When I reach for things they disappear. I can’t always remember what I need to know for tomorrow. Can I just give you a web link to my life? What’s the best joke you’ve heard recently? I keep a comprehensive catalogue of irony but I don’t keep a catalogue of jokes in my head. Death is the best joke that I know of. Death is definitely recent and of course perennial. It can’t be beaten for a joke. The joke is on all of us. But I wished you had asked me for the best irony. Then I could have put my irony catalogue to good use.
And the worst joke? Why do you want to submit readers to the worst joke? Life is short. Aren’t we all busy enough as it is? By definition, a crap joke is not worth repeating (or worth the effort of validating in writing) unless putting it in writing suddenly makes it funny, like some magical post-modern anti-comedy becomes comedy, bad is kind of good, antirelativistic resurrection of the worst shit. What’s a dream you’ve had recently? My Melbourne Comedy Festival show, 50 Shades, is packed to the rafters and sold out for its season of 11 nights, from April 3 to 14, and it is then extended by a week by public demand, through to April 21. Everyone reaches 50 Shades at Revolt, 12 Elizabeth St, Kensington on time. Nobody is late because they know that they can’t be late. Everyone realises the venue is easy to find, while all the trains run on time and the cab drivers rave about the show after seeing it themselves. Audience members hungry for good and weird comedy file out of both Kensington and Macaulay railway stations toward the Revolt performance complex and there is no rain. All of my other dreams are either too disjointed or too filled with wild sex to be suited to this format. My other dreams would be like combining Fear & Loathing In Las Vegas with something written by William S Burroughs. Seeing my comedy show succeed is an easier and more rewarding dream to explain. WHEN & WHERE: Wednesday 3 to Sunday 14 April, Revolt