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“You can’t buy from a nicer bunch of guys!” 13020 West 63rd St. Shawnee KS 66216 (913) 631-1111 Located just 2.5 miles west of I-35 or 3 miles east of I-435 Shawnee Mission Parkway

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m a rCH 6 -12 , 2 014 | V ol . 3 3 no. 3 6 E d i t o r i a l

He’s a K eeper

Editor Scott Wilson Managing Editor Justin Kendall Music Editor Natalie Gallagher Staff Writers Charles Ferruzza, David Hudnall, Steve Vockrodt Editorial Operations Manager Deborah Hirsch Events Editor Berry Anderson Proofreader Brent Shepherd Contributing Writers Tracy Abeln, Jen Chen, Liz Cook, April Fleming, Larry Kopitnik, Dan Savage, Nick Spacek

a r t

Art Director Ashford Stamper Contributing Photographers Angela C. Bond, Barrett Emke, Chris Mullins, Lauren Phillips, Sabrina Staires, Brooke Vandever

P r o d u c t i o n

Production Manager Christina Riddle Multimedia Designer Vu Radley

Sporting Kansas City goalkeeper

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Eric Kronberg finally gets

Sales Manager Erin Carey Senior Classified Multimedia Specialist Steven Suarez Multimedia Specialists Sharon Donat, Becky Losey Director of Marketing and Operations Jason Dockery Digital Marketing Manager Keli Sweetland Digital Marketing Specialist Lisa Kelley Sales and Marketing Assistant Anna Brescia

off the sidelines and into the game. b y S t e v e vo c k r o d t

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Circulation Director Mike Ryan

B u s i n E s s

Accounts Receivable Jodi Waldsmith Publisher Joel Hornbostel

a Common G ood

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Chief Executive Officer Chris Ferrell Chief Financial Officer Patrick Min Chief Marketing Officer Susan Torregrossa Chief Technology Officer Matt Locke Chief Operating Officer/Group Publisher Eric Norwood Director of Digital Sales and Marketing David Walker Controller Todd Patton Creative Director Heather Pierce Director of Content/Online Development Patrick Rains

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a d v E r t i s i n g

VMG Advertising 888-278-9866, vmgadvertising.com Senior Vice President of Sales Susan Belair Senior Vice President of Sales Operations Joe Larkin

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THE DRuNKEN WORM is now open on West 39th Street. The HOLD STEADy and uME are scheduled for the upcoming Kegs & Eggs at the Tank Room. Boulevard Brewing Co. names guest breweries visiting BOuLEVARDiA, including Deschutes, Firestone Walker, Russian River, and more.


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Questionnaire

Le anna Brunner Current neighborhood: Smithville, Missouri What I do (in 140 characters): I write and teach

others to write; I publish and teach others to publish; I dream and teach others to dream.

My brush with fame: I published my first sus-

pense/thriller novel in the fall of last year, called Final Detour, and am now hosting a writers conference with an actress from Los Angeles. She is giving me the credit for inspiring me to publish her memoir.

bile fad games; that being said, however, I get bored easily and move on to the next one. I don’t care much for the bird games, though.

Finish this sentence: “Kansas City got it right when …” It sent the Kansas City Royals on a

caravan when I was in college, and I was able to interview and write a story on George Brett. That was the highlight of my journalistic career. Some younger people forget that team won the World Series; I think I still have a scrapbook of those guys: Dan Quisenberry, Willie Wilson, Amos Otis, Willie Aikens. I am grateful the city has stayed true to that franchise, despite its ups and downs through the years.

“Kansas City screwed up when …” Its founders settled our city in a locale with bipolar weather — especially during the winters. Even though I have grown up in the Midwest, these winters are becoming less and less fun the older I get. I like the changing of the seasons, but driving on snow-packed roads takes the fun and beauty out of it. Most people are ready for spring, but it

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S a b r i n a S ta i r e S

What’s your addiction? My iPhone — like 99

What’s your game? I like any of the latest mo-

writer, publisher

while I was in high school and college, I finally was able to fall in love with one of those “friends,” get married and have a family. I think my chances greatly improved when I rebelled against my mom and let my hair grow out, so I no longer got mistaken for a boy.

Hometown: St. Joseph, Missouri

percent of the rest of the population. I’m trying withdrawal on Sundays, although it isn’t going very well. It’s somewhat of a sad testament how we are so addicted to our toys these days, but who would have thought 10 years ago that I could pick up my phone and instantly be video chatting with someone on the other side of the world?

Professor,

What was the last thing you had to apologize for? For not taking my 16-year-old to an Arc-

sure is taking its time in coming back around. It keeps taunting us but hasn’t come back to stay. February in Kansas City seems to be the longest month of the year.

Imagine Dragons. It helps to have teenagers so I am constantly “educated” on the latest groups out there. Although I still listen to the songs from the ’80s and ’90s.

“Kansas City needs …” More self-esteem. We always think of ourselves as not measuring up to bigger cities, but we are, in fact, world-class in many areas. We do have culture and are versed in the arts, and our people are some of the friendliest and most welcoming in the country.

“I just read …” A slew of essays from my JCCC

“I’ve been known to binge-watch …” Horror

movies. My mom and I used to stay up into the late night when I was younger, watching horror movies on Friday Fright Night. When the VCR came along (yes, that dates me), we would rent them by the handful. Now, I do the same with my daughter, and the scarier the better. I hope to make my creepy book into a movie and film it here in Kansas City.

“I can’t stop listening to …” The Wanted and

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students and a soon-to-be-published memoir written by actress Cady McClain.

The best advice I ever got: My mother on her

deathbed to me said: “Stop living life to please other people. Be real, be genuine and own your mistakes.” As one who used to live my life in my self-imposed Prison of Pleasing the People, this advice has changed my life radically. We have one shot at this here, and I don’t want to live with regrets.

My sidekick: My three kids: two sons and one daughter. My daughter goes everywhere with me.

My dating triumph/tragedy: After getting the “let’s just be friends” line about 482 times

tic Monkeys concert in St. Louis. I have been known to drop everything and drive out of state on whimsical road trips, and when she asked about this one, I didn’t have the heart to say no. Although I didn’t say yes, she thought I would surprise her with the trip, and when the day came and she found out we weren’t going, I felt horrible.

Who’s sorry now? Me, because now she has her sights set on going to see the Arctic Monkeys in Europe because their U.S. tour is over.

My recent triumph: Being positive in some of the worst of life’s situations. It is very easy to be happy and positive when things are going well, but when things get tough, it’s hard to take the high road. I can say my greatest triumph is learning to stay positive — even when I see the ugliness and hypocrisy in others. When the road gets rough now, I just write a book about it. The Write the Dream conference, featuring soapopera actress Cady McClain, takes place March 7–9 at the Kansas City Convention Center. See writethedream.com for more information.


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Vitti himself became the business manager, running the bar and paying its bills. Those duties gave Vitti access to a debit card tied to 504 Tavern’s bank account. Six weeks after Vitti took Gusto Lounge’s reins, the bar was behind on its utility bills, insurance premiums, payroll taxes and an assortment of other business expenses. Those details didn’t prevent 504 Tavern’s partners from keeping Vitti on the job. The partnership met with Vitti for three hours in December 2011 and told him to get his act together. About two months later, Vitti disappeared altogether without telling any of Gusto’s owners. The partners, according to the lawsuit, said they figured out that Vitti was gone when they started getting calls from employees, asking how to run the business. (Don Saxton would not comment about the lawsuit, telling The Pitch he doesn’t litigate in the press.) Even after that, 504 Tavern’s ownership waited another month before deciding to fire Vitti — an action taken without cutting off his access to Gusto’s bank account. Vitti, according to the lawsuit, withdrew “several thousands of dollars” within 24 hours after he got canned. By that time, Missouri Gas Energy had shut off service to the bar, Kansas City Power & Light was within a day of cutting the electricity, and sales taxes hadn’t been paid. Gusto’s owners figured out that Vitti had teamed up with Sippio to open a nightclub called Liquid, in Orlando, Florida. To do that, the lawsuit charges, the men had pilfered Gusto Lounge money to buy plane tickets to Florida and set up the new business. Tracking down Vitti is tricky matter. The Pitch could not locate him for comment, and lawyers have not yet been able to serve him with the lawsuit.

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he building at 504 Westport Road, one of the oldest structures in the midtown entertainment district, is home to a decade’s worth of shaky and short-lived business plans. Since the former Stanford & Sons Comedy Club became Johnny Dare’s, in 2004, the twostory brick building along Westport’s main strip has been a revolving door of ill-conceived bar ideas. Johnny Dare’s failed to live up to its hype and closed; then the address became Karma, which exuded a certain charm and lasted a few years before it, too, shuttered. Hell Bar, a seeming attempt to revive the Johnny Dare’s biker-bar motif, closed so quickly that few remember it was ever there. Then Gusto Lounge arrived, having pulled up stakes from its repellent former digs at 38th Street and Broadway. The place continues to operate on Westport Road, but a lawsuit filed in February indicates that it has been a troubled business since its 2011 opening. Early last month, the partnership that owns Gusto Lounge — it includes lawyer Don Saxton and his brother, David Saxton — sued Philipp Vitti, the man they hired to run the Gusto operation. The Saxtons and their partners allege that Vitti took their money and absconded to Florida to open a nightclub in Orlando. Also named in the lawsuit is Bobby Sippio, who briefly played for the Kansas City Chiefs in 2007, but got cut to make room for quarterback Tyler Thigpen and then became a journeyman Arena Football League player. The Gusto Lounge lawsuit is the least of Sippio’s legal problems; he was arrested in Florida for the kidnapping and attempted murder of his girlfriend’s brother in 2012. Gusto Lounge’s troubles started not long after Don and David Saxton bought a 75 percent stake in 504 Tavern LLC, the business entity for Gusto Lounge, from Shawn Nelson in October 2011. After the Saxtons had control of 504 Tavern, Sergio Acosta came along and suggested that they reopen Gusto Lounge in Westport, according to the lawsuit that was filed in federal court in Kansas City. Acosta had another idea: He would run the new Gusto Lounge, along with his deputy business manager, Vitti. It was Vitti who had tried to revive Gusto Lounge when it was still on Broadway. The 504 Tavern partnership struck a management agreement with Acosta to run the business operations in return for a cut of the profits. It soon became apparent, however, that Vitti was the only one doing any work. So in early November 2011, when Gusto Lounge prepared to make its opening splash in Westport,

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Gary rohman

S

porting Kansas City’s fortunes went from bad to worse on a cloudy evening in Los Angeles on May 14, 2011. In the midst of a withering 10-game road trip, Sporting trailed the L.A. Galaxy 3-1. Late in the game, international soccer star David Beckham stood patiently to the left of Sporting’s goal, sizing up his prospects for an upcoming free kick. Beckham was 23 yards from the goal — a distance from which most players wouldn’t attempt to score. But this was Beckham, who made his name by defying physics, arching and curving free kicks into opposing teams’ goals from absurd angles. Beckham stepped up, plowed his right foot into the ball and sent it screaming past a wall of Sporting defenders — including goalkeeper Eric Kronberg — into the net to make the score 4-1. Kronberg was making his second career start in a Major League Soccer match that night, despite having been with the franchise since 2006. His friends still joke about the time he got smoked by a distant Beckham free kick.

“It was a hell of a shot,” Kronberg tells The Pitch. “You know, there’s plenty of other goalkeepers who can say they’ve been scored on by David Beckham.” There aren’t any Sporting players who can say they’ve been with the franchise as long as Kronberg has. Only a handful of MLS players can say they’ve been with the same team since ’06. That year, the then–Kansas City Wizards selected Kronberg in the fourth round of the MLS draft. Lamar Hunt still owned the club, which played its home games in front of thousands of empty seats at Arrowhead Stadium. Back then, the Wizards registered barely a blip on Kansas City’s sports radar. The club had a small but dedicated group of fans but lurked in the shadows of the Chiefs and Royals as well as area college teams. In those days, the Wizards struggled to make the MLS playoffs. Things are far different now. Rechristened Sporting Kansas City, the team has new, wellheeled owners and plays in regularly sold-out Sporting Park in western Wyandotte County.

The franchise is coming off a 2013 championship that has given it near-equal stature with the Chiefs and the Royals. Through different owners, coaches, stadiums, lineups and fans, Kronberg has been the one constant. He has lived more KC soccer history in the last eight years than anyone, though from the sidelines. The tall, lanky, amiable Californian has started just four regular-season games in his career. Dedicated Sporting fans have seen Kronberg log playing time in less significant U.S. Open Cup play. But to casual fans, the longest tenured member of Sporting is also one of the most anonymous members of the roster. That figures to change this season.  Kronberg enters the 2014 season as Sporting’s starting goalkeeper, taking the reins from the retiring Jimmy Nielsen. “It’s a great opportunity for Eric because, as I’ve said in the past, he’s paid his dues,” says Sporting manager Peter Vermes. “He has all the ability and all the talent.” The 30-year-old Kronberg is untested, yet

he joins a mostly intact championship lineup that returns March 8. The biggest change: the departure of Nielsen, who has been Sporting’s starting goalkeeper since 2010 and team captain. “Jimmy obviously was an extremely important player within our team,” Vermes says. “Not just his play on the field but also his leadership in the locker room. That’s something that is going to have to be dealt with by a few guys.” Sticking around in Kansas City wasn’t always a sure thing for Kronberg. His contract expired after last season, and it wasn’t clear that Nielsen would retire. But two days after Sporting captured the cup, Nielsen hung up his cleats. Then, on December 16, Sporting traded for Columbus Crew goalkeeper Andy Gruenebaum while Kronberg was still hashing over whether to sign a new contract with Sporting or look elsewhere. Gruenebaum, a Blue Valley North graduate, was a highly regarded continued on page 11

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He’s a Keeper

Jimmy Nielsen retired. Sporting traded Teal Bunbury and released little-used reserves Kyle Miller and Brendan Ruiz. And trades brought two new faces to the team.

MLS goalkeeper in 2012. Injuries limited his play in 2013, but he still came to Sporting as an established, experienced goalkeeper. About two weeks later, Sporting and Kronberg reached a new deal. Not long after, the club announced that the starting job was his to lose. “My main goal was to play,” Kronberg says. “Before Jimmy retired, there wasn’t a whole lot of talk about him retiring. There was some talk, but I wasn’t exactly sure. Once he announced that … that’s when I really focused on Kansas City and playing.” Vermes says he’s pleased with Kronberg’s preseason play, praising the goalkeeper’s distribution, meaning Kronberg’s ability to get control of the ball and send it upfield to resume play. Goalkeepers are often seen as a last line of defense for a soccer team but can be effective as a first peg in an offensive system. However, Kronberg has little margin for error with Gruenebaum waiting in the wings. “I think he [Kronberg] will have a shorter leash,” says Mike Kuhn, a longtime Sporting KC fan who follows the team on his blog, Down the Byline. “I don’t think it will be necessarily short. Vermes has proven himself as one of those guys who will stick with a player a little bit longer, especially in goal. It’s not an area I think you will want to make rash decisions.” The bench isn’t a place Kronberg wants to return anytime soon. “There’s frustrations being a backup goalkeeper, especially for so long,” Kronberg says from training camp in Orlando, Florida. “I’m a competitor and want to play as much as possible.”

Andy Gruenebaum Number: 30 Age: 31 Position: Goalkeeper

Gruenebaum comes to Kansas City from Columbus, Ohio, where he had a strong year as starting goalkeeper in 2012. His performance that season was overshadowed a bit by not having a good team in front of him. He still managed to be among the league’s top goalkeepers that season. Things didn’t go quite so well last year. Injuries sidelined Gruenebaum for several games late in the season, and Columbus management figured that the Blue Valley North High School graduate was expendable and traded him to Sporting for a second-round pick in the 2016 MLS draft. Gruenebaum should see some action in U.S. Open Cup play and could take over for projected starting goalkeeper Eric Kronberg should he struggle.

continued from page 9

Joe Petro

K

Sal Zizzo Number: 11 Age: 26 Position: Midfielder

Sporting KC plucked Zizzo in a swap with the Portland Timbers, trading cash for the well-traveled midfielder. Zizzo saw limited field time last season due to injury and fell out of favor with Portland’s new coach and playing style. The speedy Zizzo will have to fight for minutes with Sporting, a team with established midfielders Graham Zusi, Paulo Nagamura and Benny Feilhaber.

ronberg grew up in Santa Rosa, California, the seat of Northern California’s famed wine country. Like plenty of American youngsters, Kronberg took up soccer at a young age. Like fewer American kids, Kronberg stuck with the sport. Even as a teenager, he sometimes took the backup-goalkeeper position but also got playing time at forward. By the time he went to college, Kronberg was firmly entrenched as a netminder. He spent two years at Fresno State before transferring to the University of California–Berkeley. The Kansas City Wizards drafted Kronberg in 2006, a year in which the team started Bo Oshoniyi in net. With little prospect of playing for the Wizards as a rookie, Kronberg was sent to Miami to gain seasoning with a minor league team. By the time Kronberg returned to Kansas City in 2007, the Wizards had jettisoned Oshoniyi. But the team didn’t see Kronberg as its starting goaltender. The franchise signed veteran MLS goalkeeper Kevin Hartman, who held the spot until 2010. Meanwhile, Kronberg didn’t make an ap-

J a m i l a S t. a n n

J a m i l a S t. a n n

MEET THE NEW GUYS

Kronberg will wear No. 1 this season. pearance in MLS play. He missed all of 2009 following surgery to repair a torn rotator cuff. The Wizards opted to bring in a new goalkeeper rather than promote from within in 2010, signing Nielsen from a professional club in Denmark, despite not knowing much about him. Nielsen played well enough to keep the starting job that season, although the Wizards missed the playoffs. It would be the last season that the club would play in the outfield of CommunityAmerica Ballpark. Kronberg made his first career MLS start in the final game of that season, a home game against the San Jose Earthquakes that closed out a forgettable era of soccer played in a baseball stadium. E a rl i e r t h at ye a r, Kronberg did play the second half of the Wizards’ exhibition match against English squad Manchester United, which brought 52,000 fans to Arrowhead on July 25, 2010. That game is now considered a turning point in franchise history, a showcase that made people pay attention to the local soccer club. And despite playing against mostly backup players, the Wizards won 2-1 over the famed Red Devils, helping unite the locker room. “It was a confidence-builder, for sure,” Kronberg says. “They’re obviously one of the best teams in the world. To beat them at Arrowhead is definitely something I’ll be telling my grandchildren when I’m old and gray.” Another turning point in Kronberg’s eyes was a scoreless match in Toronto the following year. By then, the Wizards were renamed Sporting Kansas City, but the club couldn’t play home games at Sporting Park at the beginning of the season due to stadium construction. Sporting opened the season with

an arduous 10-game stretch of road matches — the franchise was mired in last place for most of that time. The final game of that string was against Toronto on June 4. Nielsen came down with an illness just before game time and had to sit out, which gave Kronberg his third career start. Kronberg beat away two scoring attempts by Toronto in the game, preserving a scoreless tie. “The shutout in Toronto, even though it was a tie, it was a good result for us getting back on track,” Kronberg says. The next game was the debut of Sporting Park. Gov. Sam Brownback was in attendance. So was Lance Armstrong, whose Livestrong charity was the stadium’s namesake at the time. So were more than 19,000 fans, the most to see an MLS game in Kansas City in years. Kronberg watched the game from the sidelines until Nielsen was thrown out of the match in the second half for swatting a ball away outside the penalty box. It was a clear rule violation. Nielsen knew he would get thrown out before the referee showed him the red card. So did Kronberg, who took off his warm-up gear and prepared to go in before Nielsen left the field. Kronberg’s chances have been few and far between since coming to Kansas City. But now, the opportunity is his. “That absolutely has to be the big question, is whether Kronberg can step up and be the No. 1 guy,” Kuhn says. Kronberg, who also recently married and bought a house in Parkville, says he’s up for the challenge. “I feel very ready,” Kronberg says. “I think I’ve been ready for a while now. My coaches know it, and my teammates know it.”

“That absolutely has to be the big question, is whether Kronberg can step up and be the No. 1 guy.”

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SEASON PREVIEW or the third year in a row, Sporting Kansas City enters the season as a presumptive favorite to win a Major League Soccer championship. Last season, Sporting realized its potential and claimed the cup. Defending it won’t be easy. Sporting’s schedule is one of the toughest Eastern Conference slates in years, with the East shedding its inferior label. Changes to Major League Soccer’s regular-season schedule also don’t help. A couple of years ago, all MLS teams played each other twice in a season; the new format requires teams in their respective conferences to play each other three times a season while playing clubs in the opposing conference once. Last season’s Eastern Conference alsorans — Toronto FC, D.C. United and Philadelphia Union — opened their checkbooks and upgraded their rosters. Toronto, which has not reached the playoffs since joining the league in 2006, made the biggest splash, signing top American midfielder Michael Bradley away from erstwhile Italian club AS Roma for $10 million and adding veteran English star Jermain Defoe. The improvement of those three franchises, as well as such up-and-coming squads as the Columbus Crew and the New England Revolution, makes Sporting KC’s run through the 2014 regular schedule more challenging than last season. Sporting returns with a squad largely intact from last year’s championship team. By resigning defenseman Chance Myers, Sporting KC holds together the league’s championship

R ya n F l e m i n g

F

Can Sporting KC score in 2014? defense from the last two years. As long as Myers, Matt Besler, Aurélien Collin and Seth Sinovic stay healthy, Sporting should field the best defense in North America. While the defense figures to be as steady as always, however, this year’s team faces three big question marks. Who can be depended upon to score goals? Fielding a true offensive threat has bedeviled Sporting KC and its fans for the last three seasons. Since his 2012 rookie-of-the-year campaign, C.J. Sapong has flashed potential as the club’s go-to scorer. But Sapong was so inconsistent last season that the team sent

Repeat? It won’t be easy

Can Sporting keep the MLS Cup in Kansas City? It’s a strong team for a repeat, but history isn’t kind to defending MLS champions. Since the league started in 1996, only D.C. United, Houston Dynamo and the L.A. Galaxy have claimed back-toback championships. Here’s a look at how the last five MLS Cup champions fared a year later.

2009: Real Salt Lake

Like Columbus, Real Salt Lake had a strong regular season after its 2009 MLS Cup victory. Also like Columbus, Real Salt Lake suffered a first-round playoff upset to FC Dallas, which would advance to the championship game but lose to the Colorado Rapids.

Columbus looked primed for another trophy, finishing 2009 with the best record in the league. But the Crew suffered a stunning first-round playoff loss to eventual champion Real Salt Lake. 12

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2011: L.A. Galaxy

A formidable Galaxy squad defended its title in 2012, beating the Houston Dynamo for the second time in as many years. It was the MLS swan song for international star David Beckham. It was also a rare repeat championship in MLS history.

2012: L.A. Galaxy 2010: Colorado Rapids

2008: Columbus Crew

him to minor league affiliate Orlando City to regain his touch. Sporting spent big money last year on Claudio Bieler, but the Ecuadorean never seemed to fit into the team’s lineup and never realized his potential as a clinical goal scorer. The team’s success this season may rest on the shoulders of up-and-coming forwards Dom Dwyer and Soony Saad. Trading once-promising Teal Bunbury to New England signaled that the club is putting its trust in Dwyer and Saad to round out the team’s scoring attack. Does the team have a top-flight goalkeeper? It has been four years since Sporting KC has had to worry about its goalie. Eric Kronberg takes over for Nielsen.

Kronberg has been around Kansas City longer than anyone but has played less than most of the players on the roster. Kronberg has the luxury of a top-notch defense in front of him. But the club may not hesitate to swap in former Columbus Crew starting goalkeeper Andy Gruenebaum if Kronberg’s goalkeeping isn’t tidy. How will Sporting KC hold up having to play three competitions this year? Last season, Sporting KC advanced beyond the early stages of the CONCACAF Champions League tournament, featuring top clubs from North and Central America. So three days ahead of this season’s MLS home opener, Sporting resumes tournament play against Mexican club Cruz Azul at Sporting Park and then travels to Mexico March 19 for the final match in the two-game playoff format. If Sporting keeps winning in the tournament, the club keeps playing. Throw in a compressed MLS regular-season schedule, due to a three-week break in June for the 2014 World Cup in Brazil (the United States is expected to call on Graham Zusi and Matt Besler for soccer’s biggest competition), and the next season’s Champions League (Sporting is automatically qualified after winning the MLS Cup), and Sporting faces almost yearround competition. Sporting held up well toward the end of last year despite the additional games. But the team will probably rely on younger, more untested players in some of these matches to give the usual starters a breather. Despite these questions, Sporting KC appears primed for another run into the MLS playoffs and should be the team to beat for the championship.

Colorado’s championship victory followed an unremarkable regular season. The team got hot in the playoffs and claimed the cup. The following season was another milquetoast campaign, but the Rapids made the playoffs and beat Columbus in the first round before losing a two-game playoff series to Sporting KC.

The Galaxy didn’t have Beckham in 2013 but still had a solid team that finished behind Real Salt Lake and Portland in the Western Conference standings. Real Salt Lake knocked the L.A. Galaxy out of the playoffs in the second round and went on to lose to Sporting in the championship game.


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2 p.m. Sporting opens regular-season play against one of the league’s best teams — and, perhaps, in Major League Soccer’s toughest stadium atmosphere. Sporting hasn’t always fared well against the Sounders, and the season opener is the first meeting of these teams since Seattle signed U.S. star Clint Dempsey. April 5: Real Salt Lake at Sporting KC, 7:30 p.m. In a rematch of last season’s MLS Cup Final, can a Jimmy Nielsen–less Sporting snag another win from its Western Conference foe? May 23: Toronto FC at Sporting KC, 7:30 p.m. Toronto’s trips to Kansas City have been great opportunities to scalp cheap tickets. Toronto has usually been a feckless, faceless squad — easy pickings for a Sporting victory. This season, Toronto brings a compelling team to Sporting Park, largely due to American midfielder Michael Bradley. September 26: the New England Revolution at Sporting KC, 7 p.m. Teal Bunbury looked like a future Sporting star in 2011. But a season later, his goal-scoring pace fell off — even before a season-ending injury. Bunbury played a limited role on last season’s squad, and Sporting traded him to New England in the offseason. By the time the Revolution comes to Sporting Park for this match, the two squads will have played twice earlier this year. But this marks Bunbury’s first appearance before the Cauldron in a different shirt. October 26: New York Red Bulls at Sporting KC, 7:30 p.m. ESPN is scheduled to broadcast the season finale at Sporting Park, which could double as French legend Thierry Henry’s last pro match, at least in Major League Soccer. Henry was arguably the best player in the world during the early aughts while playing for English Premier League club Arsenal. His MLS impact has been limited, but he has always been a draw for crowds, much like David Beckham. New York and Sporting sat atop the Eastern Conference standings last year, so this season-ending matchup could have playoff implications.

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may 4: Columbus, 3 p.m. (22-21-6) may 10: at Montreal 3 p.m. may 14: Philadelphia, 7:30 p.m. (4-2-3) may 18: at Chicago, 2 p.m. (12-24-10) may 23: Toronto, 7:30 p.m. (10-4-4) may 27: New York, 7 p.m. (19-18-11) may 31: at D.C. United, 6 p.m. (20-18-10) June 6: at Houston, 7:30 p.m. (4-6-8) June 27: at Portland, 10 p.m. (2-2-0) July 6: Chicago, 2 p.m. July 12: at Montreal, 6:30 p.m. July 16: at Columbus, 6:30 p.m. July 19: Los Angeles, 6 p.m. (18-23-11) July 26: at Toronto, 6 p.m. august 1: Philadelphia, 7 p.m. august 10: at Vancouver, 7 p.m. (2-0-2) august 16: Toronto, 7:30 p.m. august 23: D.C. United, 7:30 p.m. august 29: Houston, 7 p.m. september 3: at New England, 6:30 p.m. september 6: at New York, 6:30 p.m. september 13: at Chivas USA, 9:30 p.m. (8-4-4) september 26: New England, 7 p.m. October 3: at D.C. United, 7 p.m. October 10: Chicago, 7:30 p.m. October 18: at Philadelphia, 6 p.m. October 26: New York, 7:30 p.m. E-mail steve.vockrodt@pitch.com

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art

Layers, Lairs and Lords

Your First Friday

By

hit list

T r a c y a bel n the oFFicial crossroads

A

mong other things, this week’s First Friday offers 13 answers to the question “What do artists fear?” At Beggar’s Table Gallery (2010 Baltimore), Anastacia Drake has invited a baker’s dozen of folks — Alan Barnes, Jennifer Bertrand, Jenifer Cady, Traci Findley, Christopher Frye, Jenny Hahn, Rick Kloog, Ada Koch, William Saunders, Tom Styrkowicz, John C. Sutton III, Larissa Uredi and herself — to bare their angst, dread and despair in a group show titled Fear. The Belger Arts Center (2100 Walnut) draws from the deep reserves of its collection to open a show centering on William Christenberry. The 77-year-old has been an e r o M anchor at the Corcoran College of Art + Design t in Washington, D.C., a ine Onl .com since 1968. He started h c pit his career as an abstract expressionist but found a truer calling when he started documenting — in photographs, paintings and sculptures — the churches, storefronts and ramshackle houses that made up the human landscape of rural Hale County, Alabama, where he spent summers as a child. One very moving piece is a dollhouse-size, single-steeple church building, white ceramic coated with dripping glaze like a melting cake and set squarely within a platform filled with the red earth of the South. It replicates the church photographed by Walker Evans and used for the cover of Let Us Now Praise Famous Men, the 1941 book documenting poor families in Hale County during the Depression. Christenberry stumbled upon that volume while living in New York City, and the impression it made helped turn his career. Though Ayla Rexroth left Kansas City last summer to go to Hunter College in New York, the Subterranean Gallery that she and Clayton Skidmore founded in the basement apartment of 4124 Warwick, just down the street from the H&R Block Artspace, is still a quaint “underground KC” space, now under the direction of Melaney Mitchell. Barred Meadows, which opens March 7 (and can be seen until Tax Day by appointment), is a collection of new oil paintings by Rachel Gregor. Having shown at Artspace (as a 2012 Kansas City Art Institute grad), Paragraph and Spray Booth, Gregor now lives in St. Louis. Her first solo exhibition gathers her alla prima portraits of female figures, which, she writes, have been “left by themselves to contemplate their mun-

First Friday Gallery Guide

ART

on stands every thursday beFore

First Friday.

Want to be seen by the art community? “Tudor White Red” by Steve Joy dane objects and surroundings within their constructed habitats.” It’s as though they’ve all dropped in for a visit and are waiting to be drawn out of themselves and into a conversation. Anytime you can see a host of Roger Shimomura’s work at once is a privilege. With more than 100 solo exhibitions under his belt, and the gravitas earned from a lifetime of painting scenes of sociopolitical issues of Asian-Americans (particularly the interred Japanese during World War II), Shimomura recently collaborated with the Lawrence Lithography Workshop, based at Belger Crane Yard Studios (2011 Tracy) to produce a new collection of prints. Some are in collaboration with Michael Sims, a master in his own right. Also at Crane Yard, home of part of Red Star Studios, a new ceramics show presents works by Kathy King and Chris Theiss, who both use “sgraffito” techniques to decorate their pieces. Sgraffito involves covering wet clay surfaces with colored slip and then

carving that away (think of scrimshaw) to reveal the clay layer underneath. In He Said, She Said, the revelations include unexpected narrative depth. Lei Yan, who has a solo show opening at Leedy-Voulkos Art Center (2012 Baltimore) called Red Memory, is also featured in a Marcus Cain-curated group exhibition at Todd Weiner Gallery (115 West 18th Street), alongside works by Jim Leedy, Jim Sajovic, Steve Pistone and others. Back at LeedyVoulkos, another new show, Icons and Elizabethans by Steve Joy — a Plymouth, England, native who served in the Royal Air Force from 1968 to 1975 — presents what Joy calls “spiritual abstraction.” Inspired by Tudor and Jacobean works, from a time when art was not, as he writes, “thoroughly connected to trade, commerce and the cultural demands of society via the Church and the monarchy,” Joy uses rich color and geometric structure to express a fascination with the iconic religious works of art of the Orthodox Church and medieval Europe.

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s ta g e

Best Coast

MET’s Iguana is more than

By

just reheated Williams.

DE BOR A H HIR S CH

Above: The Egads cast sings out.

B o B Pa i s l e y

uch pandemonium breaks out at the start of The Night of the Iguana that you wouldn’t think it was the middle of a languid day in Puerto Barrio, Mexico. You almost long for the solitude and quiet of one of the small, screened-in rooms at this oceanside Costa Verde Hotel. But there may not be much peace there, either. The Rev. Lawrence T. Shannon (Forrest Attaway), distressed and running a fever that’s burning him up in the tropical heat, has barged onto the scene. He’s a clergyman without a congregation, stuck leading groups for a middling tour company. Now his entourage of female Baptist schoolteachers is organizing a mutiny. Tennessee Williams based The Night of the Iguana on his own 1948 short story, and it’s considered by many to be his last significant work for the stage. If some consider it typical Williams, the richly symbolic play now at Metropolitan Ensemble Theatre, directed by Karen Paisley and filled with a talented cast, is a worthy revival — and anything but a snooze. At the center of this complex drama is a flawed man at war with himself as much as with those around him. Lawrence has di- Hannah Jelks (Cheryl Weaver), who arrives verged from the tour company’s itinerary to at the hotel with her 97-year-old grandfather, this cheap, rustic hotel (though Paisley’s beau- Nonno (Richard Alan Nichols), the “oldest living and practicing poet,” she says. Itinerant tiful set belies that a bit), looking for refuge. and broke — Nonno recites verse for pay, and Recently widowed innkeeper Maxine (Manon Halliburton) has been expecting him. Just up Hannah peddles watercolors and “quick character sketches” — they’re alfrom a “siesta” with Pancho, lowed to stay for the night. one of the hired help (FranThe Night of And it’s in the lower light of cisco Javier Villegas), she the Iguana evening, during Lawrence’s welcomes back an old friend. Through March 16 interaction with Hannah, “Lemme look at you,” she at Metropolitan Ensemble that hidden demons and says. “You look like you’ve Theatre, 3614 Main, longings emerge. had it.” 816-569-3226, metkc.org Wearing not only Law“You look like you been rence’s crucifix and clothes having it, too. Get dressed!” Godspell but also his skin, Attaway is But she doesn’t button Through March 23 at Off excellent, outwardly maniup, and she’s just one spark Center Theatre, Crown festing this man’s panic against Lawrence’s tinder. Center, 2450 Grand, and inner turmoil. Like the This reverend isn’t the strait816-545-6000, egadstheatre.com iguana captured and tied up laced type, bound instead by (offstage) by villagers, Lawreligious stricture and inner rence is at the end of a rope. conflict. He has already lost a The able Weaver imbues her Hannah with church post over his sexual liaisons and “athecalm and control, reflecting a desire kept careistic sermons” and is on probation with his employer. Now he has had sex with Charlotte fully beneath the surface. And as Maxine, (Hannah Freeman), a teenager, and she is in the thin-framed Halliburton doesn’t mirror the “stout swarthy woman” of Williams’ depursuit — and “under the wing, the military escort,” Lawrence complains, of “butch vocal scription yet communicates this character’s earthiness, along with a more hard-edged and teacher” Judith Fellowes (Marilyn Lynch). “Why do you want the young ones, or think practical nature. Among the supporting cast, Lynch has all that you do?” Maxine, a woman ready to give the outrage and contrariness of a stalwart him comfort, asks this reverend with mommy religious-school teacher, while Freeman issues and a contentious relationship with God. exudes charisma and feeling as the teenage tarPerhaps Lawrence prefers the virginal get of Lawrence’s misplaced affections. Richard type, represented here in the “spinster”

angela donahue

S

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Left: Attaway, Halliburton (center) and Weaver form an obtuse triangle. Alan Nichols is adept as the nearly blind, infirm poet, and Chris Roady, though onstage briefly, makes an impression as the stranded bus driver. Upon his arrival at the hotel, Nonno can “feel” and smell the ocean. “It’s the cradle of life,” he says. “Life began in the sea.” While life has pushed some of his fellow travelers back toward the water, the individuals who have come together at this moment in 1940 Mexico might find what they need at the water’s edge.

Godspell

P

repare ye the way of the power ballad. Egads Theatre Co. is Bible-belting some of the most spectacular showtunes of the 1970s with its revival of Stephen Schwartz and JohnMichael Tebelak’s Godspell. Godspell’s spiritual sincerity may not have aged well, and finger-wagging lyrics such as There’s gonna be a quiz at your ascension can give you hives even if you’re not a skeptic. Still, you can’t help but be charmed by a production and cast that tap into the hormonal adrenaline of a high school speech troupe at a state contest. Director Steven Eubank propels the energy level here to a fever pitch, and Tiffany Powell’s choreography has an ecstatic spontaneity to match the cast members’ personalities. Egads’ wild production design alone seems enough to justify this staging. The cross-pollination of Technicolor psychedelia with the musical’s earnest innocence lands us somewhere between Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely

Hearts Club Band and Richard Scarry’s Busytown. Designers Alex Perry and Anderson Willms keep things portable with dressedup pallets, spools and sawhorses, while Aaron Chvatal’s costumes are confections of clashing fabric and color. Godspell plays out in modular parables, allowing Egads plenty of room to experiment with storytelling styles as it brings the Gospel’s greatest hits to life. There’s clowning in commedia masks and preaching with Avenue Q-style puppets, and Jesus and Judas softshoe a snappy vaudeville duet. The company can seem at times frenetic and unfocused, working as it is with a grab bag of hammy accents and pop-culture references. And a few overbaked vocal runs detract from otherwise strong solo work. Among the better moments are some slower ballads, including “Beautiful City,” which allows us to catch our breath before Matthew A. King (as Jesus) steals it away again with his caramel-smooth singing. Ryan Hruza’s soulful reprise of “Learn Your Lessons Well” is another highlight. Samn Wright portrays both John the Baptist and Judas with compassion, and ensemble player Christopher Carlson is controlled and precise. On balance, you can put your faith in Egads this time. The show never dips or stalls, and full-company numbers shake the heavens with swelling harmonies and powerful hooks. —Liz Cook

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A Common Good

By

N ata l ie G a l l a Gher

Jordan Stempleman’s reading series returns.

remember a quote from Emma Greenberg: ‘As we get older, our tastes should widen as they become more refined.’” So says Jordan Stempleman when you ask him how he chooses the participants in his ongoing A Common Sense Reading Series. That Stempleman cites a young Brooklyn writer rather than, say, Billy Collins is typical of his own broad cultural appetites. With Common Sense, Stempleman says, “I try to show my taste in literature, which is pretty wide, I think.” If that self-assessment sounds a little confident, there’s good reason: He teaches writing and literature at the Kansas City Art Institute, co-edits the online video and poetry blog The Continental Review and has published 10 books of poetry. “We have anything from spoken word to academic poetry — or anything, really,” he says. That means local writers practicing Stempleman, looking sensible. various disciplines, matched with smartly Sense at rotating locations throughout the chosen imports from around the country. On Saturday, March 8, A Common Sense metro, in order to attract a varied audience. returns, and Stempleman’s curatorial am- But a good mix in the seats and on the podium doesn’t necessarily mean that the bition is on full display. The lineup: Amie Barrodale, fiction editor for Vice magazine writers themselves are strong readers. Is and a recent Kansas City transplant; scary- Stempleman’s latest ensemble prepared for a performance? funny pop-culture poet Jennifer L. Knox, of “I’ve seen poets who read better than they Ames, Iowa; and the just-plain-scary Seattle write and poets who write better than they poet Rauan Klassnik, who describes his 2013 collection, The Moon’s Jaw, as “lyrical frag- read, and poets who do both,” Knox says. “I think we poets are tuned in, though. We mented chunks of language” that draw from can start [writing] on a blank sheet of paper, “wastelands of body and soul.” and we can start talking It’s a way for KC’s literain someone else’s voice — ture curious to hear from A Common Sense even if it’s part of our own. unfamiliar places and perReading Series I started out as a slam poet sons, but it’s also about Amie Barrodale, as well as a theater major, so sending people like Knox Jennifer L. Knox and I’m very conscious of how I and Klassnik home with a Rauan Klassnik read, and I want to make it richer impression of this 7 p.m. Saturday, March 8, as entertaining as possible. town’s writers and readers. at Irving Amphitheater, And I know the two other “It does a couple things, 4402 Oak, readers who are there that but the biggest is that it acommonsenseseries .blogspot.com night as well are doing the documents the ty pe of same thing. This is a good writing and the interest in one to go to.” writing that we have goOK, she sounds ready. ing on in the city,” Stempleman says of his On the other hand, Barrodale offers curious project. “It puts us on a map and removes first-time Common Sense attendees a different the idea that we’re just a flyover city, and incentive. people — authors — can come here and have “I went last time [to A Common Sense good experiences. More and more readers reading]. I noticed the crowd was young are coming to places like Kansas City beand attractive and intelligent,” Barrodale cause we have an audience here and because it’s another place where good writing can writes in an e-mail. “So I guess if I had been single, I would have thought, ‘Oh, this is a be found.” good place to meet people.’” Stempleman doesn’t maintain a narrow definition of good writing — or where it should be absorbed. So he books Common E-mail natalie.gallagher@pitch.com

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p > Restaurants > Restaurant Guide


CAfé

Square Peg

Four Seasons makes Sicilian pizza fit in Lenexa.

By

Ch a r l e s F e r ru z z a

Four Seasons Pizza & Pasta • 7820 Quivira, Lenexa, 913-248-1554 • Hours: 10:30 a�m�–9 p�m� Monday–Saturday, 4–9 p�m� Sunday • Price: $–$$

I

don’t know what happened to the Samurai Club. I can’t tell you the fate of the scrapbooking shop, either — or any of the other businesses now absent from Quivira Square, the forlorn suburban strip at 78th Street and Quivira. But there’s one bright spot among these empty Lenexa storefronts: Four Seasons Pizza & Pasta. Operated by Italians Giulio Covello, from Sicily, and Marino Moccia, from Bari, the restaurant is almost ridiculously casual, and the prices are correspondingly cheap. With its limited e r Mo menu and counter service, it’s also not the kind of spot that typically calls t a ine Onl .com for a review. And yet, it’s pitch such an unexpected find in this otherwise soulless enclave of chain and fast-food restaurants that it deserves attention simply for surviving in an inhospitable atmosphere. Unlike the undistinguished pizza joint that preceded Four Seasons in this location, Covello and Moccia’s restaurant gets to celebrate a first anniversary this month. Covello credits Four Seasons’ success to the East Coast transplants who live in the metro. “Our marketing is all word-of-mouth,” he told me recently, his accent as thick as a slab of the yeasty Sicilian pizza he makes. “When people from the East Coast hear that we have New York–style pizza, they come in for a slice of pizza and then stay to have our lasagna, our stromboli, our salads.” According to Covello, the thin-crust pizza we think of as New York–style is, more accurately, Neapolitan, though not in the official sense. According to the rules of the Associazione Verace Pizza Napoletana (the 30-year-old Neapolitan-pizza trade group), a true Neapolitan pizza must be kneaded by hand and baked in an oak-fired oven at 905 degrees Fahrenheit. The oven at Covello’s restaurant is a gas model, but the staff does knead and toss the dough by hand. When they’re not yanking hot pizza or lasagna en casserole from the white-hot ovens, the kitchen workers assemble salads to order (among the four are a Greek salad with triangles of puffy pita and an antipasto salad heavy on tart marinated giardiniera), requiring patrons to stand at the side of the tiled counter in the center of the dining room. There might be easier, less complicated ways to do this, but Four Seasons Pizza & Pasta is Covello’s venue, and if he wants the restaurant to have a touch of Fellini about the food and the service, so be it.

AngelA C. Bond

Café

The butter sauce, intoxicatingly heavy on the garlic and the lemon juice, makes an excellent pizza dipping sauce, too. It’s probably wiser to custom-design a pizza from the available ingredients than On my first visit to the restaurant, some to settle on one of the six ho-hum “speof that stubborn charm was lost on me — cialty” pies. The two meatless variations but not on my dining companion, who was are unmemorable, w ith spellbound by Covella’s the “white spinach” affair long-range plans. For one Four Seasons — with ricotta, mozzarella thing, he means to add live Pizza & Pasta and parmigiano — sodiumperformances. There’s a Greek salad ���������������������$5�95 heavy and flavor-light. raised platform in the front Cheese pizza, 13-inch ���$9�95 The thick-crust Sicilian is corner of the yellow-painted Sicilian pizza�������������������$9�50 the main pizza event here. room for, say, an accordion Lasagna ���������������������������$6�95 The style isn’t easy to find player, a small combo, or Linguine with pesto Genovese ����������������������$6�25 around the metro (a scarcity even Roman-style karaoke Tiramisu �������������������������� $3�25 it shares with Chicago deep for wannabe Jovanottis or dish, which is an otherwise Renato Zeros. significantly different pizza), The pasta dishes include and you want it to be good when you can finally a very tasty, meaty, Sicilian-inspired lasagna (made with béchamel sauce rather than with order it. The version at Four Seasons resembles heavily encrusted focaccia, gorgeously bread-y ricotta) and a fresh-tasting (but too oily) pesto and nearly as good cold the next morning as it linguine. I’m not the biggest fan of shrimp scampi in any incarnation, but it’s a big seller is fresh from the oven. Not everything on the Four Seasons menu here — “Everyone loves it,” Moccia said, guiltis native to Covello and Moccia’s homeland. tripping me into ordering it — and it’s good.

Sicilian pizza and Italian pastas are always in season — and the desserts are housemade — at Four Seasons Pizza & Pasta�

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There’s a pizza roll with barbecue brisket, as well as three kinds of gyro sandwiches and a Philly cheesesteak (made with a choice of provolone, Swiss, American or mozzarella, but no Cheez Whiz). The house-made tiramisu on the dessert list is fluffy and delicious but alcoholfree. When Covello gets his liquor license, he plans to continue offering it boozeless, alongside a potent version of the Sienese trifle. “I’d like to make a version,” he says, “with Grand Marnier.” The cheesecake is imported from a local bakery, but this restaurant’s signature dessert is called the Four Seasons. Covello bakes pizza dough, fills it with Nutella and marshmallows, dusts the crispy circle with powdered sugar, then drizzles it with chocolate syrup. I can’t vouch for its authenticity (I’ve never seen anything quite like it in Rome or Florence), but it’s a grande successo in Lenexa. And for the entrepreneurs at Four Seasons, that’s good enough.

Have a suggestion for a restaurant The Pitch should review? E-mail charles.ferruzza@pitch.com march 6 -12, 2014

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21


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To find out more, check out or send your resumé to streetteam@pitch.com 22

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march 6 -12, 2014

P

izza has more styles and regional variations than Baskin-Robbins has flavors of ice cream, but in the Kansas City metro, the iconic New York–style pie (and its cousin, the Neapolitan version) — a thin, pliant crust and a relatively discreet topcoat of cheese — is probably the best-selling. And if New York– style isn’t exactly what a few newer places are doing, it’s at least a recognizable inspiration in some pizzas that Fat City tasted recently. When father and daughter Alan and Haley Jeter opened their combination pizzeria and sandwich shop, Geo’s Pizzeria (9220 Metcalf, Overland Park, 913-341-7827) in a suburban storefront nearly two years ago, they didn’t put the word pizza on the sign out front. “We had a problem with our pizza ovens,” Alan Jeter says. “They arrived here broken in pieces. It was a big mess. We opened two months late.” While the new ovens were being installed, the Jeters focused on their deli business. Sandwiches are still the top sellers at lunchtime, but at night, pizza sales escalate. “We had an article refer to our pizza as St. Louis– style,” Alan Jeter says, “but that’s not the case. We do offer Provel cheese, which is a St. Louis tradition, upon request. But we make New York–style pizza for everyone else.” There’s no mistaking the New York intentions at Johnny Brusco’s (starting with the restaurant’s name), an upstart Georgia chain with three Johnson County locations. (We tried pizza from the one at 8909 West 95th Street, Overland Park, 913-648-6146.) The crust here is yeasty and puff y, though, and

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the emphasis isn’t on simple cheese slices but instead on specialty pies. The menu includes a cream-cheese pizza, a steak-andcheese pizza, and a chicken-and-ranch pizza — hardly the taste of Brooklyn. In the heart of downtown Kansas City, Missouri, a new pizzeria has emerged from a familiar joint but with a new name and image. Last year, the River Market wine shop Cellar & Loft (525 Walnut, 816-283-0593) expanded into the former Antonio’s Pizza storefront but kept the pizza business intact. Veteran pizza maker Mitch Mey is still here, preparing three specialty New York–style pizzas every day and one featured pizza that changes monthly. “It’s still Antonio’s pizza, but Mitch creates a combination of what Antonio’s pizza was and Cellar & Loft is,” manager Dominic Petrucci says. Several blocks to the south, the saloon called Social, in the historic building formerly occupied by architect Louis Curtiss, is now also the headquarters for Downtown Pizza Co. (1118 McGee, 816-931-3663). This one is a carryout-and-delivery operation, with four sizes of thin-crust pizza in styles both traditional and eccentric (taco pizza, barbecuebacon cheeseburger). The delivery system is also eccentric. It took a driver an hour to deliver our pizza from about 12 blocks away, and we’d ordered well after lunch. (It’s more of a late-night place.) Here’s a sample of reactions polled from a half-dozen Pitch edit staffers, along with a rough estimate of how much time elapsed before the box was empty.

Johnny Brusco’s

GEO’S PIZZERIA Crust: “Homey.” “Chewy crisp.” Sauce: “Oozy and a little sweet” Cheese: “Polite” Gone: In 12 minutes (one medium veggie pie) JOHNNY BRUSCO’S Crust: “Powdery.” “The best part of this thing.”

Sauce: “Salty, like blood” Cheese: “No, this is the best part.” Gone: There’s still a piece sitting out, as

though in warning.

CELLAR & LOFT Crust: “A good chew” Sauce: “I could have made this at home.”

“Does that mean you like it?” Cheese: “Pretty good.” “There should be more of it.” Gone: In four minutes

DOWNTOWN PIZZA CO. Crust: “A long chew” Sauce: “Too sweet.” “Not sweet enough.”

“What’s wrong with you?” Cheese: “This would be really good night cheese.” Gone: We gave it to someone on another floor. Who gave it back. So we finished it. #hungry

E-mail charles.ferruzza@pitch.com


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23


ST. PATRICK’S DAY GUIDE 2014

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Jerry’s Bait Shop, 13412 Santa Fe Trail Dr., Lenexa | St. Patrick’s Party, featuring DJ Sinnister and a 32-inch flat-screen-TV giveaway, 9 p.m. Johnny’s Back Yard, 1825 Buchanan, North Kansas City | Snake Saturday, March 15, with music from Scotty and Sole Tones from 2 to 5 p.m. On St. Patrick’s Day: cornedbeef-and-cabbage specials. Kansas City St. Patrick’s Day Parade | Beginning at 11 a.m. at Broadway from Linwood and proceeding south to 43rd St., kcirishparade.com Kansas City Track Club’s Westport St. Patrick’s Day Run | 10 a.m. Saturday, March 15, at Westport Rd. and Pennsylvania Knuckleheads, 2715 Rochester | Celebrating 25 years in Kansas City with Eddie Delahunt, 8 p.m. Friday, March 14. Lew’s Grill & Bar, 7539 Wornall | Irish Hooley: 3 Bands, 2 DJs, 2 Bars = 1 Ticket, beginning with an Irish breakfast at 8 a.m.; corned beef and cabbage at 11 a.m.; and music by Jonathan Ramsey at 3 p.m. and DJ Mike Scott at 8 p.m.

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Maloney’s, 7201 W. 79th St., Overland Park | Open at 7 a.m. Brunch served until 11 a.m.; $3 Guinness pints, $7 car bombs, $5.50 Jameson shots and $4 Paddy shots; corned beef and cabbage with new potatoes, $6.95 all day. Martin City St. Patrick’s Day Parade | From 135th St. and Washington to Holmes, 2 p.m. Sunday, March 16, featuring Grand Marshal Kathy Quinn. See irishpalooza.com for more information. Martin City’s Whiskey Run 5k and Kids Fun Run, 135th St. and Oak | 8 a.m. Sunday, March 16, race packets at KC Running Co. (411 E. 135th St.), whiskeyrun5k.com to register. O’Dowd’s Little Dublin on the Plaza, 4742 Pennsylvania | Music by Eddie Delahunt, 1–9 p.m. O’Malley’s Irish Pub, 500 Welt St., Weston | Music by Eddie Delahunt at 8 p.m. Friday, March 7, and Saturday, March 8. Power & Light District, 14th St. and Main | All-Day Party, presented by 96.5 the Buzz and Miller Lite, with the Mowgli’s and Misterwives, beginning at 7 a.m., powerandlightdistrict.com. Smokin’ Guns BBQ, 1218 Swift, North Kansas City | Snake Saturday, March 15, deck open after the parade, music by My Six Gun Heart from 2 to 6 p.m., drink specials. Snake Saturday Parade and Festival | Parade beginning at 11 a.m. Saturday, March 15, at the intersection of 14th St. and Swift, in North Kansas City, proceeding north to Armour, east to Howell, and south to 18th St. and Howell, snakesaturday.com Uptown Arts Bar, 3611 Broadway | Open at 9 a.m. For $20, get a parking spot in the UAB back lot and a wristband redeemable for two beers and breakfast buffet; $5 chair rental for parade; specials on beer and Jameson all day. The Well, 7421 Broadway | Irish Hooley: 3 Bands, 2 DJs, 2 Bars = 1 Ticket, beginning with an Irish breakfast at 8 a.m.; corned beef and cabbage at 11 a.m.; and music by Jonathan Ramsey at noon, the Kelihans at 3 p.m., Flanigan’s Right Hook at 6 p.m., DJ Ashton Martin at 8 p.m.; waldowell.com Westport Flea Market, 817 Westport Rd. | Kegs & Eggs from 7 to 10 a.m., all-you-can-eat-and-drink, $10.


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25


KNUCKLEHEADS F re e S h u tt le in S u rr o u n d in g A reth e a

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5: The Crayons 6: RJ Mischo & Friends 7: Damn Quails 7: The Belairs w/ Brian Capps 8: Clay in GL 8: The Soul of John Black

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12: Fred Eaglesmith 13: Nick Moss 14: Eddie Delahunt Saint Patty’s Party 14: Milkdrive GL 16: The Railers 17: The Nace Annual St. Patty’s Day Parade & Celebration @ 4pm 18: The Grahams, Lilly Hiatt

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For more info & tickets: knuckleheadshonkytonk.com 2715 Rochester, KCMO

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music

The NoT-FiNal CouNTdowN

Clairaudients’ last hurrah before taking a break

By

N ata l ie G a l l a Ghe r

F

rom the outside, Arts Asylum doesn’t seem like much. Located on a sketchy downtown corner, the building is barely visible in the streetlamp’s glow. It used to be a church, but right now it looks less than inviting. On this chilly Saturday evening, though, the vibe inside is one of inclusion. A small flurry of activity is under way as the Asylum’s small theater is readied for a semiprivate concert. Petite café tables are cloaked and decorated with candles. Strands of Christmas lights are strung throughout the room and also frame the stage. The setup is modest and warm, like a small-town school pageant. Onstage, Patrick Robinson, lead singer for Clairaudients — the band set to play — is sorting out an electrical shortage. “For some reason, not being electrocuted is important to Patrick,” Blaire Geenens, the band’s drummer, cracks from a table laid with refreshments and merchandise. The show starts in a little more than an hour, and Robinson looks harried. The members of Clairaudients, who are about to head out for a short spring tour, have rarely been more conscious of the time. A little more than a week before this gig, “Everyone in this band, their reaction Geenens announced his imminent departure when Blaire decided that that was his next from Kansas City. Almost immediately after move to make, we all stood up and gave him the March tour, he’s moving to Los Angeles to a hug and told him we were proud of him,” study percussion at the Musicians Institute. He could be gone six months, a year and a Thompson says between spoonfuls of pho. “He’s taking his next step as a musician, half — longer. and we want nothing more than for him to Geenens points out the other two memsucceed.” bers of Clairaudients as they filter into the “I think we’re best friends before we’re a room. Jordan Thompson and Chase Horseman, who share keyboard and guitar duties, band, honestly,” Horseman adds. “There’s a sadness that comes with knowing that have arrived with Vietnamese takeout. They decide to relocate to a smaller, quieter room there’s a finite timeline on things now, but it’s not like watching the Beatles in Let It Be, for an interview, where they arrange themwhere they all hate each other but they’re selves in a circle of hard plastic chairs and still making music together. We’re trying to crack about the AA-meeting look they’ve just push through it.” cultivated. All four Clairaudients members Robinson says there’s no plan to replace are 22-24 years old; they joke a lot. Geenens or even hire a fill-in; rather, the They’ve enjoyed a swelling popularother three musicians will use the time ity among local pop-rock aficionados since apart to concentrate on other projects. And releasing their debut EP, I’m a Loudmouth, Geenens says he’ll be back You’re a Puppet, last June. in KC for some summer Now they’re in the middle Clairaudients dates, including the band’s of recording a long-awaited Friday, March 7, anticipated album-release full-length, a collection of at RecordBar show. Also just confirmed: songs that sound — at least a slot at Cincinnati’s Bunto the bandmates — more bury Music Festival in July. But Geenens’ mature and focused than anything they’ve departure means that the Clairaudients’ done before. But Geenens won’t be around for its completion. All four Clairaudients insist midtour homecoming show — at RecordBar Friday, March 7 — has become a bittersweet that they aren’t breaking up — just putting things on pause. But there’s no denying the occasion. It’s effectively a prehiatus finale. In the stillness of the Arts Asylum room, awkward timing. Barrett emke

WHERE THE BEST MUSICIANS IN THE WORLD PLAY

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“We’re best friends before we’re a band.” underneath fluorescent lights and with no background noise to distract, the guys of Clairaudients put on brave faces. They have been bandmates as long as they have been friends, and they behave like brothers, one moment insulting one another (“You’re all behaving like dicks,” Horseman admonishes as he is teased for his Sriracha-induced tears), the next nostalg ic and full of remember-whens. “Obviously, we’ve all met because of music, but there’s a sense of vulnerability that everyone has with each other that’s really unique,” Thompson says. “That’s what creates the deeper friendship with us. It doesn’t feel like we get together because that’s our job. We do it because we enjoy it, and that’s how we communicate on one level.” “We’re kind of a bullshit-free band,” Robinson adds. “There’s not a single thing that we do that we don’t feel something about. It’s definitely like a brotherhood. There are very few experiences we have as a band onstage that we’re not collectively feeling in that moment. There’s sort of this intangible atmosphere that we have, even if there’s 50 or 200 people in the room. We aren’t going to leave that behind.”

E-mail natalie.gallagher@pitch.com


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27


Music

Workin’ Woman

Valerie June on the songs that move her and the stories she tells.

By

N ata l ie G a l l a Ghe r

T

Wolf like me! kcmo

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march 6 -12, 2014

ennessee native Valerie June has been making music professionally for more than a decade, but only recently has the 31-year-old artist earned the sort of attention she deserves. Her 2013 breakthrough, Pushin’ Against a Stone, produced by the Black Keys’ Dan Auerbach, is her fourth studio album. Stone, like June herself, is otherworldly, hanging on the air somewhere between traditional Appalachian country and Delta blues, with June’s voice ringing out like a strange bell. We spoke with June by phone ahead of her opening for Sharon Jones and the Dap-Kings at Liberty Hall. The Pitch: The title track from your record just kills me. June: Almost every time I have a show, somebody’ll be like, “That song was powerful, and I really wanted to cry,” and I think that’s good. It’s emotional music. You gotta move your spirit in a way when you listen. It’s funny June: “I choose [the songs] I really feel.” because I’ve been getting gifts from people I have this stack of records that I got just — fans, I guess you could call ’em, audience recently, mostly blues stuff. Most of these recmembers. I get the weirdest things: spiritual ords that I have, they have the same songs things, necklaces, books and notes and things on them, but they’ll be done by a blues artist like that. I think it makes people’s spirits move, and then they’ll be done by an Appalachian and their hearts move in a way. artist, but it’s the same song, and they’ll tell a Your album is full of songs — “Workin’ Woman Blues,” “Trials, Troubles, Tribula- different story in each one. One of those songs tions” — that reflect perseverance through a is called “Trouble in Mind,” and I have it on a Nina Simone record and a Lightnin’ Hopkins dark time. Is that how you found those songs? record and a Roscoe Holcomb record. That I don’t really know where they come from. I just hear the voice of the song. But if you song has bounced around so many places. We used to sing a version of it in church when I believe in the Buddhist way — not that I’m was little before I even knew who these people Buddhist, but that suffering is there and it’s in were. [Laughs.] I had my own version of the every moment. It’s gotta be fuel for something song from when I grew up. positive. You can’t use it to keep you down. It’s really cool to go song searching like that These challenging things come into your and to find connections belife, and you just have to say, tween the races and the times “I accept this and I’m moving Valerie June and the genres. And I enjoy forward.” That’s all you can do. With Sharon Jones listening to different people’s Everybody’s life is like that, and the Dap-Kings stories because the white you know. We’re constantly Saturday, March 8, at Liberty Hall man’s story is not the same as dealing with so much and feelthe black man’s story, and the ing so much, and we just have woman’s story is not the same to take all of that and use it to as the man’s story. keep standing and moving forward. Your songs are very story-oriented. How There’s a lot of people that put that feeling many of them are Valerie June the person and into music for me, and when I feel that, it’s really something. Like when I listen to “Sit- how many are Valerie June the storyteller? It’s as much of me as it is of you. I write a ting Here in Limbo” by the Grateful Dead. I’m just dying inside. It does something to me. It lot of songs, but the songs I sing night after night — I don’t sing them if I can’t personalize makes me realize that I’m not gonna be here forever, that even if challenging times come, them. I have a book full of songs I’ve written, and I could just sing something that I don’t feel, that I need to move forward because this is my but I don’t do it. The other songs, they just sit only time here. I think a lot of the songs that in this book. And I’m waiting for the day that I write have that feeling in them. I will meet someone that I can give them to. Growing up, you were influenced by the music When I can say, “Now this song, this is you. your concert-promoter dad was into and singing You got to sing this. I wrote this one for you.” in church. What inspires you now?

pitch.com

That’s the way I do it. I go through [the songs I’ve written] and I choose the ones that I really, really feel, that are just mine. You know when you get a record and you listen to it, and one song on the record jumps out at you. You say to yourself, “That’s my song! That right there is my song!” That’s how I go through my songs. I go through them and I think, “This one, right here, I could sing this one 365 nights a year and still feel it.” That’s my story. And it’s not just my story — it could be someone else’s story by the end. The stories are alive, and they change all the time, even for me.

E-mail natalie.gallagher@pitch.com

J a z z B e at JalEEl Shaw, at takE FivE CoFFEE + Bar

“Energetic” and “turbulent” have been used to describe Jaleel Shaw on alto sax. He’ll power through a solo with a cascade of post-bop originality and a warm tone, driven with mature intelligence and power. In New York, he performs with the Mingus Big Band and legendary drummer Roy Haynes’ quartet, in addition to his own ensembles. Thursday, he returns to KC as a very special guest, heading up a trio comprising bassist Jeff Harshbarger, keyboardist Roger Wilder and drummer Mike Warren at Take Five. — Larry Kopitnik Jaleel Shaw, 7–9 p.m. Thursday, March 6, at Take Five Coffee + Bar (5336 West 151st Street, 913-948-5550), $10 cover.


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march 6 -12, 2014

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29


THE TANK ROOM 1813 GRAND BLVD. KCMO

05 06 07 08 13

TUESDAY - FRIDAY 4PM - 1:3OAM SATURDAYS 7PM - 1:30AM

WEDNESDAY

LIVE MUSIC DAILY! ZACH & MICHELLE

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THE HILLARY WATTS RIOT DREW BLACK AND DIRTY ELECTRIC

GRAND VILLANOVA

FRIDAY

AMERICAN PINUP THE BRODY BUSTER ONE MAN BAND HAPPY HOUR 4 - 8PM

SATURDAY

$2 $2 $3 $4

PBR COORS LIGHT BLVD WHEATS TANK 7

WEDNESDAY

Music

Music Forecast

SPECIALS

HAPPY HOUR

MONDAY-FRIDAY

Come see us for St. Patrick’s Day•Open at 8am

Irish buffet all day • Lots of Live Music Great Drink & Beer Specials!

UPCOMING LIVE MUSIC:

David J. Olson 3/6 - 8pm Knock Kneed Sally 3/7 - 9pm J.D. Summers Band 3/8 - 9pm

SERVING FOOD

TILL 3AM

4112

Pennsylvania Ave

816.960.4560 Mon-Fri 4p-3am Sat-Sun 12pm-3am

APPEARING LIVE THIS WEEK

Every MONDAY Open Mic w/ Brody Buster 7-11pm Every TUESDAY Open Blues Jam w/ The Coyote Bill Boogie Band

WEDNESDAY Night Trivia from 7-9pm fri. march 7:

Aside from having one of the best names in music, Lydia Loveless also has talent. The 23-year-old’s most recent album, February’s Somewhere Else, is at first a country disc — but, oh, it’s nothing for today’s country radio. Under twangy guitars and her supple, whiskey-coated voice, Loveless is really a black-eyed punk following her own agenda. On Somewhere Else, she paints herself as a wine-trashed villain, raising her fists more often than not. No matter. Loveless has that brassy, badass edge you’ve always secretly wished you could pull off. Thursday, March 6, at Czar (1531 Grand, 816-421-0300)

Columbus, Ohio’s Saintseneca is the little band that could. The foursome came together in the waning days of their college lives at Ohio State, back in 2009. In the years since, they’ve managed to carve out a small piece of folk-rock real estate with a couple of well-executed EPs and a 2011 full-length, Last. Now Saintseneca is ready to release its follow-up, Dark Ark, April 1. The band has already debuted two singles off that album — the canyon-sweeping ballad “Happy Alone” and the moody, darkly melodic “Uppercutter” — that are getting attention on the Internet. But even if you don’t care about the usual online chatter, Saintseneca seems poised for a breakout. Monday, March 10, at Czar (1531 Grand, 816-421-0300)

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Jr.

Detroit duo Joshua Epstein and Daniel Zott are not super-huge NASCAR fans. Well, they might be, but that isn’t what their music is about — despite their wonky band name. With their latest full-length, The Speed of Things, Epstein and Zott have found a sonic sweet spot. The album is full of dreamy hooks and wallshaking synths, the way we want all music to sound right now, apparently. But boy brainiacs Epstein and Zott balance these expectations with measured doses of quirky lyrics. In some

DINNER SHOW 6-9 W/

30

the pitch

Dr. Dog

Dr. Dog has come a long way since it first emerged in 2002 with its humble, lo-fi debut record, Toothbrush, and scored a slot opening for My Morning Jacket on two North American tours. Twelve years and a staggering seven albums later, the Philadelphia folk-pop act has achieved something that most bands find only in dreams: stability. Dr. Dog’s latest release, October’s B-Room, is plenty evidence of that, as it surfs along the soulful, all-together-now 1960s grooves for which it has become known. Monday, March 10, at Liberty Hall (644 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-749-1972)

Diane Birch

When Diane Birch released her debut, Bible Belt, in 2009, I felt a little guilty for liking it so much. It had a rootsy but polished 1970s vibe, presenting her as a folk girl trying to talk herself out of being a pop artist. Birch’s

The Soul of John Black

John Bigham — or, if you like, the Soul of John Black — is an old-school funk throwback. On last September’s A Sunshine State of Mind, the former Fishbone member channels Prince and gets his groove back. The album floats breezily along, adhering only to Bigham’s own soul-driven schedule — a loose one at best. He croons luxuriously to blues-guitar riffs and the occasional island-ready percussive rhythm. His music oozes romance from across the room, so if you’re looking to revive something in your love life, here’s your chance. Saturday, March 8, at Knuckleheads Saloon (2715 Rochester, 816-483-1456)

K e Y

 Date Night

 Worth the Weeknight

Bring on the Country

Singer-songwriter

This Has Nothing to Do with NASCAR

FOLLOWING OPEN MIC:

Artist to Watch

 Echoes of the ’80s

Dance Pants

westportsaloon.com

 Get Your Groove On

 Indie Rock

 Internet Hype

THE BOX HERDERS, THE URBAN PIONEERS

816.960.4560

ways, The Speed of Things is a satirical analysis of pop-music trends. Maybe that self-awareness is why Dale Earnhart Jr. Jr. pulls it off so well. Monday, March 10, at the Bottleneck (737 New Hampshire, Lawrence, 785-841-5483)

follow-up, last fall’s Speak a Little Louder, throws a whole new light on the 31-year-old artist. The album’s title track features driving electric guitars and 1980s-style mechanical drumbeats, as though Birch spent a little too much time watching Pat Benatar videos on YouTube. That Reagan-era hangover lingers over the rest of the album as Birch throws her powerful voice around, no longer the folkie but not quite the pop starlet. Saturday, March 8, at the Bottleneck (737 New Hampshire, Lawrence, 785-841-5483)

Pick of the Week

TOKENGRASS, THE JOHN BROWN BOYS, CUTTY RYE, LITTLE CLASS RECORDS RIBBON CUTTING

mon. march 10:

Dr. Dog

f o r e c a s t

THE GRAND MARQUIS, JOHN STUBBLEFIELD, EAST CREEK GIRLS,

HANGDOG HEARTS sat. march. 8 : NIKKI SCRUGGS DINNER SHOW

n ata l ie G a l l a Ghe r

Lydia Loveless

Saintseneca DAILY MENU

By

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pitch.com


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3/22

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t h e 3/3/14 p i t c8:29 h AM31


AgendA

continued from page 15

Thursday | 3.6 |

Golden! Girls Gone Wild!

Art exhibits & events

Billie mahoney’s Jazz tap Jam | 7:30-9:30 p.m.

en bloc, by Jorge garcia Almodovar | Opening reception, 5-7 p.m. Thursday, UMKC Gallery of Art, 5015 Holmes, Room 203

LiterAry events

History & Hope: Celebrating the Civil Rights Movement | Nelson-Atkins Museum

Performing Arts

The Uptown Arts Bar, 3611 Broadway

of Art, 4525 Oak

Author steven Watts discusses his new biography

of Dale Carnegie | 6 p.m. Kansas City Central Library, 14 W. 10th St., kclibrary.org

In the Looking Glass: Recent Daguerreotype Acquisitions | Nelson-Atkins Museum, 4525 Oak

exPos

Molly Kaderka: Sacred Spaces | 6 p.m. Friday, Kiosk Gallery, 3951 Broadway

2014 greater Kansas City international Auto show | Bartle Hall, 301 W. 13th St., kcautoshow.com

Neeta Madahar: Falling | Kemper Museum of Contemporary Art, 4420 Warwick Blvd.

musiC

Drew six | Fuel, 7300 W. 119th St., Overland Park

oBJet ~ pop-up boutique and Tea Time zine showcase | Paragraph Gallery, 23 E. 12th St.

millage gilbert Big Blues Band | 7 p.m. Danny’s

The Tyranny of Good Taste | La Esquina, 1000

Big Easy, 1601 E. 18th St.

grand marquis | 7 p.m. Jazz, 1823 W. 39th St. Lydia Loveless, L.A. Price, timbers | 8 p.m. Czar, 1531 Grand

r.J. mischo & friends | 8 p.m. Knuckleheads Saloon,

W. 25th St., charlottestreet.org

Golden! Girls Gone Wild! | 8 p.m. Friday and Saturday, Missie B’s, 805 W. 39th St.

Massachusetts, Lawrence

Friday | 3.7 |

2715 Rochester

Performing Arts

sPorts & reC

Lawrence

son of stan, the Caves | 10 p.m. Replay Lounge, 946

Kansas City symphony: Joshua Bell, plus Bartók’s Concerto for orchestra | 8 p.m. Kauff-

man Center for the Performing Arts, 1601 Broadway, kcsymphony.org

Massachusetts, Lawrence

sons of Brasil | 8 p.m. Broadway Jazz Club, 3601 Broadway

titanium Blue | 7:30 p.m. B.B.’s Lawnside BBQ, 1205

E. 85th St.

tropic thursdays with Bartholomew | The Kill

Devil Club, 61 E. 14th St.

LiterAry events

B.B.’s Lawnside BBQ, 1205 E. 85th St.

missouri mavericks vs. Allen Americans |

The Blue Room, 1616 E. 18th St.

Bram Wijnands Duo | 6 p.m. Majestic, 931 Broadway Charles D. Williams | 5 p.m. Broadway Jazz Club, 3601 Broadway

nAiA Wrestling national Championships | Kansas Expocentre, 1 Expocentre Dr., Topeka

2014 miAA men’s Basketball tournament | Noon, Municipal Auditorium/Music Hall, 301 W.

story slam and dramatic readings | 8 p.m. The

teChnoLogy

ComeDy

Lester “Duck” Warner Project with Becky Berry | 7 p.m. The Blue Room, 1616 E. 18th St.

7:05 p.m. Independence Events Center, 19100 E. Valley View Pkwy., Independence

Author shirley hershey showalter discusses her new book, Blush: A Mennonite Girl Meets a Glittering World | 3 p.m. Kansas City, Kansas, Public Library, South Branch, 3104 Strong Ave., KCK, kckpl.org

Uptown Arts Bar, 3611 Broadway

13th St.

Kansas City service Jam | CoWork Waldo, 7449 Broadway

Bobcat goldthwait | 7:45 & 9:45 p.m. Stanford’s Comedy Club, 1867 Village West Pkwy., KCK

sheryl underwood | 8 & 10:30 p.m. Improv Comedy Club and Dinner Theater, 7260 N.W. 87th St.

Jeremy Butcher and the Bail Jumpers | 9 p.m.

Crown Center ice terrace | Noon-11 p.m.,$6 ($3 skate rental), 2450 Grand

Paper Diamond, Loudpvck, Branchez, Brooks Brown | 7 p.m. The Granada, 1020 Massachusetts,

Between the Buried and me, Deafheaven, intronaut, the Kindred | 7 p.m. The Granada, 1020

Laura Caviani trio with Bob Bowman | 8:30 p.m.

Clairaudients, the noise fm, Bears & Co., La guerre, valaska | 8:30 p.m. RecordBar, 1020 Westport Rd.

Cold sweat | Jazz, 1823 W. 39th St. Damn Quails with John goolsby & Jesse harris | 8:30 p.m. Knuckleheads Saloon, 2715 Rochester grand marquis | 6-9 p.m. Westport Saloon, 4112 Pennsylvania

Katy guillen & the girls | 8 p.m. Trouser Mouse, 410

S. Hwy. 7, Blue Springs fooD & DrinK

Breakfast with sporting KC | 7:30 a.m. Bizperc, 1800 Baltimore

isaac James | 8 p.m. VooDoo Lounge, Harrah’s Casino, 1 Riverboat Dr., North Kansas City new riddim, the Bishops, richmo | 9:30 p.m.

musiC

Davey’s Uptown Ramblers Club, 3402 Main

exPos nightLife

Brodioke | 9 p.m. Bulldog, 1715 Main

2014 greater Kansas City international Auto show | Bartle Hall, 301 W. 13th St.

mosh Pit Bingo | The Brick, 1727 McGee

marble Crazy | Noon-9 p.m. Moon Marble Co., 600 E. Front St., Bonner Springs

oh my gawth — goth and new Wave Dance Party | 10 p.m. MiniBar, 3810 Broadway 32

the pitch

march 6 -12, 2014

Lounge, 946 Massachusetts, Lawrence

the Band that saved the World | Jazzhaus, 926-1/2

Dave stephens’ 007 License to Kill | The Kill Devil

Massachusetts, Lawrence

Club, 61 E. 14th St.

the Belairs | 8:30 p.m. Knuckleheads Saloon, 2715 Rochester

pitch.com

oils, haunt Ananta, C.s. Luxem | 10 p.m. Replay

the Apache relay, the Lonely Wild, Promised Land sound | 7:30 p.m. Czar, 1531 Grand

continued on page 34


3.4 THE MEN “TOMORROW’S HITS”

3.4 REAL ESTATE “ATLAS”

3.18 WAR ON DRUGS “LOST IN THE DREAM”

3.18 THE BLACK LIPS “UNDERNEATH THE RAINBOW”

WITH BONUS LIVE CASSETTE

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march 6 -12, 2014

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33


Dates and times vary.

continued from page 32 John Stubblefield, East Creek Girls, Hangdog Hearts | 10 p.m. Westport Saloon, 4112 Pennsylvania

All Sinatra | Quality Hill Playhouse, 303 W.

37th Annual KU Jazz Festival | 7:30 p.m. Kansas

Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson | Starting Friday, the Barn Players, 6219 Martway, Mission, thebarnplayers.org

1744 Broadway

TheaTer

10th St., qualityhillplayhouse.com

Drawn to Murder | KC Mystery Train, the

Golden Ox, 1600 Genessee, kcmysterytrain.com

Geek Mythology: I Was a Teenage Immortal | The Coterie, 2450 Grand, Crown Center, thecoterie.org

Godspell | Egads Theatre Co., at Off Center

The Night of the Iguana | Metropolitan

Other Desert Cities | Unicorn Theatre, 3828

aLaMO dRaFtHoUsE mAiNsTrEeT

1400 mAiN sTrEeT | 816.474.4545 | dRaFtHoUsE.cOM

@ALAMOKC I FACEBOOK.COM/ALAMOKANSASCITY

Live Music Live Music 7 nights 7 nights a week

a week

816.561.2444 www.erniebiggs.com nsas 4115 Mill Street West Port Ka 34

the pitch

march 6 -12, 2014

Cinemaphonic with DJ Cruz & Cyan | 10 p.m.

MiniBar, 3810 Broadway

Everyone is Not a Rapper | 9 p.m. The Uptown Arts

Monthly Mayhem: One Night in Vegas | Angels

Super Nerd Night | 8 p.m. The Bottleneck, 737 New Hampshire, Lawrence

Saturday | 3.8 | PERFORMiNG ARTS

Danú | 8 p.m., $30-$80, Yardley Hall at JCCC, 12345 College Blvd., Overland Park

Ensemble Theatre, 3614 Main, metkc.org

iC pArK S s A r jU : N Io t P u mOvIE iNtErR

3/13

NiGHTliFE

Rock Bar, 1323 Walnut

Much Ado About Nothing | Presented by KU Theatre, Crafton-Preyer Theater, Murphy Hall 1530 Naismith Dr., Lawrence

ClUe qUoTe-AlOng

3402 Main

Harriet Tubman in the Footprints of Freedom | Theater for Young America, H&R Block City

at Just Off Broadway Theatre, 3051 Central, sheandherproductions.com

3/8

Madison Ward and Mamma Bear, Rebecca Rago and the Trainmen | 6:30 p.m. Davey’s uptown,

Bar, 3611 Broadway

Jekyll & Hyde | She & Her Productions,

oN tHE cAsE: mEmEnTO

Jason Vivone and the Billybats | 9 p.m. Coda,

Theatre, 2450 Grand, Crown Center, egadstheatre.com

Stage, 30 W. Pershing Rd., Union Station, tya.org

3/6

University Student Union, 1301 Jayhawk Blvd., Lawrence

pitch.com

Main, unicorntheatre.org

Parish, 14251 Nall, Leawood, kcchorale.org

When I Come to Die | Kansas City Repertory Theatre, Copaken Stage, 13th St. and Walnut, kcrep.org

Kansas City Symphony: Joshua Bell, plus Bartók’s Concerto for Orchestra | 8 p.m. Kauff-

Winter Shorts, with Tara Varney | 7-8:30 p.m. Sunday, Fishtank Performance Studio, 1715 Wyandotte

MUSeUM exhibiTS & evenTS

man Center for the Performing Arts, 1601 Broadway, kcsymphony.org

Northland Symphony Orchestra’s March Concert | 7:30 p.m. Pine Ridge Presbyterian Church, 7600 N.W. Barry Rd., northlandsymphony.org COMEDy

Citizen Soldiers on the Prairie | Johnson

County Museum of History, 6305 Lackman Rd., Shawnee, jocomuseum.org

Bobcat Goldthwait | 7:45 & 9:45 p.m. Stanford’s Comedy Club, 1867 Village West Pkwy., KCK

Convergence: Jazz, Film, Dance and the Visual Arts | American Jazz Museum,

Saturday Night Programming hosted by the Recess Players | 10 p.m. The Uptown Arts Bar, 3611

Hands-on History | Opening Friday, National World War I Museum, 100 W. 26th St., at the Liberty Memorial

Sheryl Underwood | 7 & 9:45 p.m. Improv Comedy Club and Dinner Theater, 7260 N.W. 87th St. ExPOS

Living in the Life: Medical Aspects of the War

2014 Greater Kansas City international Auto Show | Bartle Hall, 301 W. 13th St., kcautoshow.com Marble Crazy | 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Moon Marble Co., 600

1616 E. 18th St., , americanjazzmuseum.org

| Saturday, National World War I Museum, 100 W. 26th St., Liberty Memorial, theworldwar.org

City

Kansas City Chorale presents the Music of ireland | 7:30 p.m. St. Michael the Archangel Catholic

Take Five Tour | 6 p.m. Thursday, American Jazz Museum, 1616 E. 18th St.

Broadway

E. Front St., Bonner Springs, marblecrazy.com

MO-KAN CFA Cat Show | 9 a.m.-4 p.m. Kansas City College and Bible School, 7401 Metcalf, Overland Park


THE MUSICAL BOX — A GENESIS TRIBUTE

D THURS

AY

3.6

e The on b am L e r fo be

The Musical Box — a Genesis Tribute, playing 1973’s Selling England by the Pound 8 p.m. The Midland, 1228 Main

EQUESTRIAN

The Gala of the Royal Horses | 2 & 7 p.m., $27-$57, Sprint Center, 1407 Grand, sprintcenter.com

Deborah Brown | 8:30 p.m. The Blue Room, 1616 E. 18th St.

Laura Caviani & Bob Bowman, Horacescope | 5:30 p.m. Green Lady Lounge, 1809 Grand

SPORTS & REC

Crown Center Ice Terrace | 10 a.m.-11 p.m., $6 ($3

skate rental), 2450 Grand

March Against Colon Cancer | 8:30 a.m., $25, Oak

Cucharada’s CD-release show | 8 p.m. Mestizo, 5270 W. 116th Pl., Leawood

The Disappointments | The Dubliner, 170 E. 14th St.

Park Mall, 11149 W. 95th St., Overland Park

Dirtfoot, Mike Dillon Band | The Brick, 1727 McGee

NAIA Wrestling National Championships | Kan-

Emblem3 | 6 p.m. Uptown Theater, 3700 Broadway

sas Expocentre, 1 Expocentre Dr., Topeka

2014 MIAA Men’s Basketball Tournament | 6 p.m. Municipal Auditorium/Music Hall, 301 W. 13th St. TECHNOLOGY

Kansas City Service Jam | CoWork Waldo, 7449 Broadway

MUSIC

Flannigan’s Right Hook | Kelly’s Westport Inn, 500 Westport Rd.

Four Fried Chickens and a Coke | 8 p.m. Trouser Mouse, 410 S. Hwy. 7, Blue Springs

Green River Kings, the Pedaljets | 9:30 p.m. Davey’s Uptown Ramblers Club, 3402 Main

Ice Balloons, JoyCut, Kyp Malone | 10 p.m. Record-

Bar, 1020 Westport Rd.

Admiral of the Red, Dolls on Fire, Demon Lips | 10 p.m. MiniBar, 3810 Broadway Back Porch Blues Band | 9 p.m. B.B.’s Lawnside

Sharon Jones and the Dap-Kings, Valerie June | 7 p.m. Liberty Hall, 644 Massachusetts, Lawrence

BBQ, 1205 E. 85th St.

King Buzzo | The Riot Room, 4048 Broadway

Diane Birch, Andrew Belle | 7 p.m. The Bottleneck,

KU Jazz Festival | 7:30 p.m. Kansas University

Blue Oyster Culture Club | The BrewTop Pub and

Middle Class Rut, Dinosaur Pile Up, Brick and Mortar | 8 p.m. Czar, 1531 Grand

Bleu Edmondson, the Bryant Carter Band, Ryan Manuel | 7 p.m. The Granada, 1020 Massachusetts,

Mountain Sprout, Tyler Gregory | 10 p.m. The

737 New Hampshire, Lawrence

Patio, 8614 N. Boardwalk Ave.

Lawrence

Student Union, 1301 Jayhawk Blvd., Lawrence

Bottleneck, 737 New Hampshire, Lawrence

continued on page 36

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march 6 -12, 2014

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35


continued from page 35 The Noise FM, La Guerre, the Kickback | 10 p.m.

Lawrence Battle of the Bands with White Shores, Apple Grove, the Skeptics, NOVA, and more |

The Soul of John Black, the Old No. 5’s | 8:30 p.m.

Nightmare Boyzzz, Low Forms, Witch Jail |

Replay Lounge, 946 Massachusetts, Lawrence

ATTEND 3 GREAT PARTIES THIS YEAR!

Knuckleheads Saloon, 2715 Rochester

Tornado Rose, Big Chief | Jazzhaus, 926-1/2 Mas-

sachusetts, Lawrence

The Zeros | Fuel, 7300 W. 119th St., Overland Park

PASSPORTS HIT ALL OF THESE

Sunday | 3.9 |

EVENTS

BACON & BOURBON FESTIVAL • TASTE OF KC • PITCH MUSIC AWARDS

PeRFORMiNG ARTS

Golden! Girls Gone Wild! | 6 p.m. Missie B’s, 805

EvEnts

On

at line

pitch.co

CALL 816.561.6061 FOR MORE INFO

The People’s Liberation Big Band | 8 p.m. Record-

Bar, 1020 Westport Rd.

Monday | 3.10 | PeRFORMiNG ARTS

Blue Monday poetry and open mic | 8-10 p.m. The Uptown Arts Bar, 3611 Broadway

FOOd & dRiNK

More

WE KNOW TIMES ARE TOUGH SO WE’RE MAKING OUR EVENTS MORE AFFORDABLE FOR YOU!

10 p.m. Replay Lounge, 946 Massachusetts, Lawrence

W. 39th St.

Kansas City Chorale presents the Music of ireland | 2 p.m. Visitation Church, 5141 Main, kcchorale.org

s

4 p.m. The Granada, 1020 Massachusetts, Lawrence

m

Kansas City Symphony: Joshua Bell, plus Bartók’s Concerto for Orchestra |

2 p.m. Kauffman Center, 1601 Broadway, kcsymphony.org

Park University international Center for Music Recital: Graduate Violist Alexander Smith | 7 p.m. Graham Tyler Memorial Chapel, 8700 N.W. River Park Dr., Parkville, park.edu

Turtle island Quartet | 7 p.m. Polsky Theatre at JCCC, 12345 College Blvd., Overland Park

LiTeRARy eVeNTS

Taproom Poetry Series with Rauan Klassnik, Tim Lantz, Heidi Lynn Staples | 5 p.m. The Eighth Street Taproom, 801 New Hampshire, Lawrence exPOS

2014 Greater Kansas City international Auto Show | Bartle Hall, 301 W. 13th St., kcautoshow.com

Jameson dinner | 6:30 p.m., $75 per person (plus tax and gratuity), Rye, 10551 Mission, Leawood, ryekc.com MUSiC

Bob Bowman & Roger Wilder | 10 p.m. Green Lady

Lounge, 1809 Grand

everette deVan with Lori Tucker | 7 p.m. The Blue

Room, 1616 E. 18th St.

dale earnhardt Jr. Jr., Chad Valley | 8 p.m. The

Bottleneck, 737 New Hampshire, Lawrence

Open Mic with Brody Buster | 7-11 p.m. Westport

Saloon, 4112 Pennsylvania

Saintseneca, the Melodic, Busman’s Holiday, She’s a Keeper | 7:30 p.m. Czar, 1531 Grand Waldo Jazz Collective | 7-10 p.m. The Piano Room,

8410 Wornall

Tuesday | 3.11 | PeRFORMiNG ARTS

The Goldenberg duo — violin and piano | 7 p.m.

SPORTS & ReC

Kansas City, Kansas, Public Library, 625 Minnesota Ave.

2014 MiAA Men’s Basketball Tournament |

Kansas City Chorale presents the Music of ireland | 7:30 p.m. Asbury United Methodist Church,

3:30p.m.MunicipalAuditorium/MusicHall,301W.13thSt.

5400 W. 75th St., Prairie Village, kcchorale.org

TeCHNOLOGy LiTeRARy eVeNTS

Kansas City Service Jam | CoWork Waldo, 7449

Broadway

Midwest Poets Series, with William Trowbridge | 7 p.m. Mabee Theater, in Sedgwick Hall, Rockhurst Uni-

FiLM

versity, 54th St. and Troost, rockhurst.edu/artsandletters

The Grapes of Wrath | 1:30 p.m. Kansas City Plaza

SPORTS & ReC

Library, 4801 Main St., kclibrary.org

Missouri Mavericks vs. Rapid City Rush | MUSiC

The Bellfuries | 7:30 p.m. Knuckleheads Saloon, 2715 Rochester

Born of Osiris | Jackpot Music Hall, 943 Massachu-

setts, Lawrence

36

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march 6 -12, 2014

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7:05 p.m. Independence Events Center, 19100 E. Valley View Pkwy., Independence MUSiC

Brimstone Crow, Chiefs, exeter | 10 p.m. Record-

Bar, 1020 Westport Rd.


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Brody Buster Band

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Buy tickets online at stanfordscomedyclub.com

913.400.7500 • TUE-SUN 7:45PM & 9:45PM

mon: rur

Pho-B-ia , a contemporary dance exploration of our fears, presented by the AIM Dance Co. | 7:30 p.m. Friday and Saturday, H&R Block City Stage Theater at Union Station, 30 W. Pershing Rd., aimdancecompany.com

Brit Floyd | 8 p.m. The Midland, 1228 Main

SPORTS & REC

Big 12 men’s basketball tournament | Sprint Center,

Cowtown Playboys, Bob Wayne and the Outlaw Carnies | 8 p.m. Davey’s Uptown, 3402 Main

1407 Grand, sprintcenter.com

Info Gates, Kutty Slitz, Vertigone | 9 p.m. Czar,

Sporting KC vs. Cruz Azul | 7 p.m. Sporting Park, 1

1531 Grand

Matt Otto Quartet | 9 p.m. Green Lady Lounge,

Dom Chronicles, Rashiyd Ashon, GEN the Assassin, Akai Najir with Mad Dukez & Fresh Kils | 10 p.m. RecordBar, 1020 Westport Rd. Fred Eaglesmith | 8 p.m. Knuckleheads, 2715 Rochester

Steddy P hosts Mad Dukez & Fresh Kils, Approach, Farout, Left E. Grove | 10 p.m. Replay

Flogging Molly, Drowning Men, Potato Pirates | 6:30 p.m. Uptown Theater, 3700 Broadway

Trampled Under Foot | 7 p.m. B.B.’s Lawnside BBQ, 1205 E. 85th St.

Folkicide, Rabbitt Killer, Major Matt Mason | 8 p.m. Davey’s Uptown Ramblers Club, 3402 Main

The Oarsmen, Sky Smeed, Glory Revival | NIGhTLIFE

7:30 p.m. Czar, 1531 Grand

DJ Rico & the Boss hooligan Soundsystem | 10 p.m. Black & Gold Tavern, 3740 Broadway

Wednesday | 3.12 | PERFORMING ARTS

The Goldenberg Duo — violin and piano | 3 p.m. Spencer Museum of Art, 1301 Mississippi, Lawrence

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Mark Montgomery | Jazz, 1823 W. 39th St. Open Blues Jam with the Coyote Bill Boogie Band | 9 p.m. Westport Saloon, 4112 Pennsylvania

happy houal grit r 6-9 thu 3/6 m // karaoke @ 10pm Sat 3/8 DiroSh pit Bingo Fri 3/14 h tFoot & mike Dil Sat 3/15 thelen gillet, nola Cell lon BanD e WeSter iSt WereWolF nerS, muFF punCh, WeD 3/19 B n ent knee, Jo eBula rge arana trio

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MONDAYS

Comedy Night with Norm Dexter 10:00pm NO COVER!

Jazz

Thu7:30Mar 6 St. Patrick’s Day pm

YOUR SPOT ON THE PARADE ROUTE

hosted by the legendary

Billie Mahoney

tap jam

TUESDAYS

Busker’s Banquet Music Open Mic with Sondra Freeman 9:00pm - NO COVER!

Jam with Mike Ning, Victor Perelmuter WEDNESDAYS Poetic Underground and some of KC’s 9:00pm - NO COVER! leading tap dancers.

us on

$10 acebook

Bring your instruments and your tap shoes! $5

PRIMO PARKING: $20 STREETSIDE CHAIR: $5 DRINK SPECIALS CONTINENTAL BREAKFAST

OPEN AT 9AM

See Our Full Calendar at uptownartsbar.com

NIGhTLIFE

B.A.R.T Wednesdays with DJ G Train | 10 p.m.

MiniBar, 3810 Broadway

DJ Rico and Matt “The Boss” hensley of Flogging Molly | 10 p.m. MiniBar, 3810 Broadway Karaoke with Lo | 10 p.m. Black & Gold Tavern, 3740 Broadway

LITERARy EVENTS

Author Amanda Ripley discusses her book, The

Smartest Kids in the World — and How They Got That Way | 6 p.m. Kansas City Plaza Library, 4801 Main

Trivia | 7-9 p.m. Westport Saloon, 4112 Pennsylvania E-mail submissions to calendar@pitch.com or enter submissions at pitch.com, where you can search our complete listings guide.

pitch.com

march 6 -12, 2014

the pitch

37


dating.

S ava g e L o v e

poopgasm Dear Dan: Straight female with a question. It’s about something that sometimes happens to me that I’ve never really told anyone about because it’s so weird and gross. It involves my bowel movements, so it’s not very sexy. (No offense to scat lovers, but I have zero interest in “poop play.”) After I have a normal bowel movement, I pull up my jeans. When I do that, the crotch seam presses on my clit as I begin to close the zipper, and I get what I can only describe as an intense mini orgasm. This is directly related to the recent BM because it happens only after one. I find myself just standing there in the bathroom, holding my pants up with my hands frozen on the zipper, eyes half closed, gently pressing my jeans into my crotch while my clit just hammers out an unsolicited series of intense orgasmic spasms. I find myself enjoying these post-poop-gasms, but it’s something I’ve kept to myself for obvious reasons. I’m not complaining. I’m merely curious to know if you’ve heard of this and if you know why and how it happens. Do other people have similar experiences? Possibly Odd Or Perhaps Curious Orgasm Mostly Enjoyed Regularly Dear POOPCOMER: I shared your letter with Dr. Debby Herbenick, a research scientist at Indiana University, a sexual health educator at the Kinsey Institute, and the author of Great in Bed and numerous books about sexuality. Herbenick’s short answer: “Genitals are magical, mysterious places of wonder.” And her much more satisfying long answer: “There are other documented cases of people having orgasms while pooping. Most are on Internet message boards, but some have made it into the medical and scientific literature. ‘Defecation-induced orgasms’ seem to be more common than orgasms from peeing, but both kinds happen.” Yes, yes: But why and how do defecationinduced orgasms happen? “It’s not entirely clear, but here are some possibilities,” Herbenick said. “The pelvic nerve, which is one orgasmic pathway, links up to not only the vagina and cervix but also the rectum and bladder. Another possibility is something called nerve ‘crosstalk.’ In essence, the genital and excretory parts are smooshed closely together, and some nerves (like the pelvic nerve) service more than one part. Thus, feelings and messages carried in the nerves can get a little muddled. For example, some people can have vaginal pain from bladder problems. Similarly, people describe genital orgasms from stimulation of nearby parts, and nerve crosstalk is thought to be part of that.” (Want to shut up an “intelligent design” creationist? Ask them to defend the ill-advised,

38

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march 6 -12, 2014

pitch.com

By

D a n S ava ge get a new boyfriend or start following the one you’ve got into public restrooms.

Dear Dan: My 13-year-old stepson leaves his

spooch on the goddamn toilet seat. How do I tell him to clean up after himself? I don’t know how he gets it on the toilet seat! Logistically, it baffles me!

Step-Parent Ain’t Not Kleaning Spooch

none-too-intelligent smooshing together of our excretory and reproductive systems — after making them Google “obstetric fistula.”) “POOPCOMER doesn’t have to like the fact that she orgasms from pooping,” Herbenick said, “but it’s better than the opposite scenario: unintentionally pooping during orgasm. That also happens.”

Dear Dan: Will you please offer some advice for

me, a simple heterosexual girl having problems with her heterosexual male?!? My boyfriend always closes and locks the door behind him when he pees. It hurts my feelings! Being a part of his pissing experience would turn me on and arouse me! He claims he does this because he is pee-shy. But he pees in public restrooms in front of other men! So if he knows that I like it, and if the issue isn’t about being pee-shy, then why can’t he pee in front of me?!? I would be grateful for your advice on how to get him to relax with his peeing moments a little more because I’m bored. Thanks!

Personally Insulted Since Sexy Entrance Denied Dear PISSED: You’re just a simple heterosexual girl who wants to be part of her boyfriend’s “pissing experience” because that would turn you on — nothing kinky or hardcore about that, no sir. You’re just after some old-fashioned, allAmerican, plain-vanilla voyeuristic piss play. I’m not sure there’s anything I could say here that would persuade your boyfriend to include you in his pissing experience. If knowing that it would make his piss-freak girlfriend insanely horny doesn’t motivate a guy to unlock the door and let her watch, he’s unlikely to be convinced by some gay dude with an advice column. (But just in case: Hey, open the damn door!) So if watching your boyfriend piss is really that important to you, you’ll have to

Dear SPANKS: That word you keep using, spooch — I don’t think it means what you think it means. The word you want is spooge. And I don’t think your sign-off means what you think it means, either. Putting a “not” after that ungrammatical “ain’t” means you’re anxious to clean your stepson’s spooge off that toilet seat. Logistics: Your stepson faces the toilet seat as he would when he pees and has himself a wank. He thinks he’s destroying the evidence when he flushes, but he’s missing the drop or two that land on the toilet seat. Replacing your white toilet seat with a black one might help your stepson notice that flushing isn’t enough. Telling him to clean up after himself: Your stepson’s father should have a talk with him. “You’re making a mess of the toilet seat,” his dad should say. “Put the seat up and wipe it off when you’re through.” If your stepson protests that he’s careful when he pees, his dad should tell him that he’s not talking about piss. That poor kid will be so mortified that he’ll blow loads out the window before he masturbates in the bathroom again. Dear Dan: I’m a 26-year-old straight girl and I’ve been dating this great guy for a few months. Our sex life is really satisfying/fun/adventurous, due in no small part to the fact that he has a lot of kinks. He has a thing for scat, though, and that has thrown me for a loop. He doesn’t expect me to engage in poop play, but I know he watches this kind of porn sometimes, and it freaks me out. Would you break up with someone due to one extremely squicky kink? So Not Into Poop Dear SNIP: I would and I have. IMPORTANT NOTE: A lowly, officious quitepleased-with-herself copy editor has informed me that Urban Dictionary defines “spooch” as “semen” or “a man’s climax.” While I have the utmost respect for the modern-day Samuel Johnsons at Urban Dictionary, I refuse to acknowledge “spooch” as a synonym for semen or the male climax.

Have a question for Dan Savage? E-mail him at mail@savagelove.net


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the pitch

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Clinical Research Studies

Do you have

Sun DamageD Skin?

Are you in the SUN a lot?

Compliant Clinical Research, Inc. is now conducting a clinical research study to evaluate an investigational cream and its effect on sun damages skin (Actinic Keratosis)

You maY be eligible to participate in a clinical reSearch Study if you:

• are an adult with high levels of sun exposure • have scaly or rough lesions on your face or scalp • can visit our office 4 times in 24 weeks

Do you have scaly or rough lesions on your face or scalp? Qualified participants will receive at no cost: • Study related exams • Study cream or placebo Qualifying participants will receive financial compensation for their time and travel. You could earn up to $200 over 4 visits to our facility.

For more information or to schedule a screening, please contact us at 913-481-6415 153 West 152st Street, Suite 100, olathe, KS 66061

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the pitch

march 6 -12, 2014

pitch.com


Are you out of housing options? Have Credit Problems? Previous Evictions?

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The Pitch: March 6, 2014