How to Make People Help You Again and Again! BY SOULAIMA GOURANI
The Three Times Thank-You Strategy Over the past ten years of intense work with networking and relationships, I am beginning to see a clear pattern. Would you like to receive help again and again? Do you need people to act as your ambassador and recommend you to their networks? If yes, then you have to develop a so-called thank-you strategy. In addition to getting people to help you again and again, you will actually also become happier. The University of California has carried out various studies showing that a daily display of gratitude together with an active thank-you strategy resulted in higher degrees of enthusiasm, determination, attention, and energy. Research also shows that grateful people seem to be far more inclined to help others with a technical, professional, or personal problem; and they offer emotional support to other people. It’s about showing gratitude, giving something back in return, and indirectly strengthening relationships with other people, leading to more satisfactory, meaningful, and happy lives for everybody.
It Takes Three . . . The key to success is that you need to thank a person three times if you want this person to help you again and again. If you say “thank you” only one time, people will typically only help you that one time. If you want people to help you more than once, you need to make a mental note of this: a good way to maintain a relationship and make a person help you again and again is to say “thank you” and by showing your gratitude—clearly and often. The bad news is that it is not enough to say “thank you,” send a bouquet of flowers, or bring a bottle of wine. Over time, people who have helped you tend to think that you are ungrateful if you do not thank them for their help or only say “thank you” one time. Most people only say “thank you” one time and find it strange to say “thank you” again and again. It is my experience that it is a really good idea to create a thank-you strategy.
Thank-You Strategy A thank-you strategy in its simplicity is about saying thank you to people three times. You need to thank them every time they have helped you or spent their time on you. It is not good enough to say “thank you” just one time. Let me give a concrete example. If you get a new job based on a really good recommendation from someone in your network, then you should say “thank you” right away! Most well-mannered people will do that. Hereafter, only a few of us will think about saying “thank you” again. It is my recommendation that you get back to the person who recommended you after the probationary period in your new job and say, “Thank you for recommending me for the job. It meant a lot to me, and now we have actually decided that I will continue in the company after the probationary period. Thank you.”
Blog from Soulaima Gourani