What is Domestic Violence?

WHAT IS

DOMESTIC

VIOLENCE?

Coercion Isolation

Sulking

Making it hard for the person Always insisting on being right to see friends and relatives Making the person feel guilty Monitoring phone/mail Manipulating children and Directing person’s whereabouts other family members Taking the person’s car keys

Making impossible “rules” Destroying the person’s and punishing the person passport for breaking them

Physical Abuse

Hitting Slapping Kicking Choking Pushing Punching Beating

Verbal Abuse

Constant criticism Mocking Making humiliating remarks Yelling Swearing Name-calling Interrupting

Sexual Abuse

Forcing partner to have sex Demanding sex when the person does not want to Degrading treatment

Harassment

Following or stalking Embarrassing the person in public Constantly checking up on the person Refusing to leave when asked Using technology to monitor Accusing person of being unfaithful

Domestic Violence is a pattern of coercive behavior characterized by the domination and control of one person over another, usually an intimate partner, through physical, psychological, emotional, verbal, sexual and economic abuse.

Economic Control

Not paying bills Refusing access to money Not letting the person work Interfering with the person’s job or job duties Prohibiting the person from going to school Not allowing the person to learn a job skill Refusing to work and support the family

Destruction of Property Destroying furniture Punching walls Throwing or breaking things Abusing pets

Threats & Intimidation

Threatening to harm the victim, children, family members and pets Using physical size to intimidate Shouting Keeping weapons & threatening to use them

Emotional Withholding Not expressing feelings Not giving compliments Not paying attention Not respecting the person’s feelings, rights, and opinions Not taking the person’s concerns seriously

Abusing Trust Lying Breaking promises Withholding important information Being unfaithful Being overly jealous Not sharing domestic responsibilities

Self-Destructive Behaviors Abusing drugs or alcohol Threatening self-harm/ suicide Driving recklessly Deliberately doing things that will cause trouble

DOMESTIC

VIOLENCE

MYTHS

Domestic violence does not affect many people. It is believed that domestic violence is the most common, but

1least reported, crime in the United States.

2Domestic violence is only physical abuse. Physical violence is only part of a larger pattern of abuse which also includes psychological, emotional, sexual and/ or economic abuse, where the abuser uses the abuse to exert power and control over an intimate partner.

Domestic

violence only happens in poor families. Domestic violence occurs throughout all levels of society and in every racial, ethnic and religious group. There is no evidence to suggest any income level, occupation, social class or culture is immune from domestic violence. Wealthy, educated professionals can

3be as prone to violence as anyone else.

The victim can walk away from the relationship. Victims do not always have a place to go where they will be safe from their abuser, they worry about money and/or their children. They may not have a support network or a workable escape plan. Leaving is the most dangerous point

4of the relationship, as the abuser has lost their control.

Drinking or drug abuse cause

domestic violence.

Abusers use alcohol and drugs as an excuse for violent behavior. Thereis correlation between substance abuse and domestic violence, but one does not cause the other. However, substance abuse does lower 5inhibitions and may increase the frequency and severity of the abuse.

DOMESTIC

VIOLENCE

FACTS

1 in 4 Women

in the US report experiencing violence by a current or former spouse or dating partner at some point in their life.

(CDC, 2008)

1 in 10 Men

in the US report experiencing violence by a current or former spouse or dating partner at some point in their life.

(CDC, 2008)

48% of All Men & Women have experienced psychological aggression by an intimate partner.

(NISVS, 2010)

15.5 Million

US children live in families in which intimate partner violence occurred at least once in the past year.

(Journal of Family Psychology, 2006)

3+ Women per day are murdered by their husbands or boyfriends.

Often it’s after they leave their abuser.

(Department of Justice, 2007)

Breaking the

Cycle of Violence

Cycle of Violence

Serious Battering Phase

Honeymoon Phase

Tension Building Phase

Honeymoon Phase

This is where the relationship begins. Violent relationships may begin very romantically. They are quick, intense and seductive. The victim frequently looks back at this happy, loving time, hoping the abuse will end and the relationship will be like it was at the beginning. After violence occurs, there is a period of apologies, gifts and promises the abuse will never occur again and that the abuser will change. Both abuser and victim minimize and rationalize the behavior and the seriousness of the injuries. This can also be a time of renewed courtship, romance and sexual intimacy. This phase typically gets shorter and shorter as the relationship continues and may disappear altogether.

Tension-Building Phase

The tension-building phase may last a week, month, or even years. However, once the cycle of violence begins, it usually occurs more frequently. The tension-building phase is characterized by increased emotional abuse and a feeling of threat or intimidation. It may include minor physical abuse like slapping or pushing. Victims feel tense and afraid and often describe it as “walking on eggshells.” Victims learn to recognize these signs and may try to avoid or deflect the abuser’s anger by becoming more compliant. Sometimes, they may even provoke the abuser in order to break the tension and get the abuse over.

Serious Battering Phase

This phase is characterized by violent episodes that may involve physical and/or sexual abuse, property destruction and heightened emotional abuse. Children and pets may also become victims. Initially, minimal levels of violence may be sufficient to frighten the victim. As time goes on, the abuser usually uses more severe forms of abuse to maintain control. In some instances, other methods of exercising power and control are so effective that physical abuse is unnecessary. In relationships where there is no physical abuse, victims may believe they are not in abusive relationships.