Sophie Woman's Magazine October 2016 Issue

VOLUME 12 - ISSUE 8 / OCTOBER 2016

S

phie Woman’s Magazine

INSIDE: Girlfriends In God ~

A Touch of Compassion | Page 10

Sophisticated Women ~ Do you communicate effectively at work? | Page 8 Me,Myself & Inc. ~ Are you on the right frequency? | Page 14

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phie Woman’s Magazine

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Contents Reaching Your Full Potential

6

Sophisticated Women

8

By: Kim Fletcher: Life Coach, Speaker, Author

By: Nichole Greer

Girlfriends in God

By: Mary Southerland

The Front Porch

By: Judy Smith: Wife, Mother, Grandmother, Child of God

10 12

Me, Myself, & Inc.

14

He Said, She Said

16

He Will Soar Again

20

Ponder Truth

24

By: Sherre DeMao

By: David and Amy Washco

By: Debbie Roberson

By: Julie McGrath

A Prearranged Coffee Date

By: Letty Lozano

The NC Patchwork of Fall Colors By: Jan McCanless

26 28

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For more information about advertising or to view Sophie Woman’s Magazine online, visit our website at www.sophiewomansmagazine.com or call 828-466-0122 ************************************************************************************************ Disclaimer: Sophie Woman’s Magazine is published monthly. The articles published in Sophie do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the publisher. All articles are intended for informational purposes only, and none should serve as a substitute for doctor’s advice and orders. Advertisers are solely responsible for the content and validity of information published within their ads and are not necessarily endorsed by the publisher. Deceptive or misleading advertising is not knowingly accepted by the publisher.

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pg 4 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | October 2016

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REACHING YOUR FULL POTENTIAL: The Courage to Give up Control

by Kim Fletcher, Life Coach, Speaker, Author

“Leadership should mean giving control instead of taking control and creating leaders rather than forging followers.” L. David Marquet I recently heard the story of L. David Marquet’s courageous decision to throw tradition and patterned behavior out the window in exchange for a new model of leadership.

In his best-selling book titled Turn the Ship Around, Marquet describes the daunting task of commanding a Navy submarine called the USS Santa Fe. Marquet was responsible for leading this nuclear-powered submarine and its crew of over one hundred sailors.

He describes an atmosphere that was characterized by low morale, high turn-over rate, high stress, and poor performance.

On one fated day, he gave an unknowingly impossible command.

Rather than question their leader’s orders, the crew blindly followed the command of their lead officer.

Upon reviewing his command and the disastrous outcome that could have occurred, he questioned his sailors on why they did not question his decision. They simply replied, “Because you told me to.”

This single incident left Marquet contemplating his own leadership style instilled into him during his Navy training. He had to courageously admit that his style of leadership was one about taking control instead of giving control. In other words, he realized that he had created a submarine full of followers rather than leaders.

That is when everything began to change. You really need to read the story to grasp how dramatically he altered his style for the betterment of the entire crew and the future performance of this powerful military submarine.

I don’t have time to share the story details or his strategic changes, but I do want to leave you with this thought…

In your own circle of influence, whether you are in command of your kids whom you homeschool or if you have command over a business, how do you lead? Do you interact with others in a way that causes them to take ownership of their own responsibilities while honing their unique gifts and strengths? Or do you lead harshly in a way that takes control and cultivates blind and resentful followers?

As I am invited to speak to teams and staffs, it is often easy to picture the culture of the organization. A tell-tale sign that a dictator is at the helm is to find team members who are too quick to take credit and just as quick to blame someone else.

pg 6 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | October 2016

Where does your own ship need turning around? I don’t know about you, but my heart is increasingly focused on leaving individuals better because of our interaction. I want to cultivate individuals, whether they are my coaching clients or my friends, who are quick to recognize their own grass-roots ownership of their own destinies. I want to sow seeds of encouragement and confidence that lead them to dig deeper and go higher.

In a culture full of entitlement mentalities, we all need to assess how we are leading if the next generations are going to have a fair chance at developing their full potential.

We may need to give fewer material gifts and begin to share more wisdom. We may need to make fewer excuses for others as we begin to expect them to own their own mistakes and their own personal growth.

I met with a friend this week who told me how her twelve year old son keeps begging for a cell phone. Her house rule is NO! She happens to work with struggling teens and she has seen firsthand how too much access to the internet and predators can have devastating effects.

Her son, even though he might be a tad frustrated with his mom’s cell phone policy, is being given every chance to learn to communicate face to face and heart to heart with those he lives with and goes to school with.

If you give your staff and your children everything they ask for, it will never be enough and they will never tap into their own ability to provide for themselves. If you harshly criticize them, they will learn to resent you as they blindly follow along until a better opportunity presents itself.

Take some time today to consider your leadership style and how you can release a bit of control and invest in building a team around you that can joyously share ownership and outcomes.

And remember to be patient with yourself and your team. Just as a ship is a large vessel, a company culture is a large entity. It takes time to turn a ship around but it is possible. Just ask L. David Marquet who how oversees one of the mostly highly regarded Naval submarines of all time. What was once a place sailors tried to run from is now a destination of choice for crew members who want to be part of a truly great fleet.

Kim Fletcher is a Life and Wellness Coach with a heart for training individuals and teams to fulfill their own potential. She is the author of several books, including The Tension Point, a must-read for every developing leader and coach. Kim invites you to contact her directly for a FREE coaching or group training proposal: kimfletchercoach@ aol.com / 828 327 6702 (text or talk).

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ophisticatedWomen...

Seven Communication Tips for Personal Excellence at Work

By Nicole Greer, PPCC Founder and Principle Coach at Vibrant Coaching

C

onstantly, I have people quip that communication is a huge problem in their lives and work. I get it. It's a side effect of our accelerated, frenetic, and technological world. The worst strategy I see people try to use is hope. They hope people will change.

They hope the world will change. They hope they will win the lottery and get to quit their job. Hope is a beautiful ideal but a terrible strategy.

Instead of hoping things will change, use these seven tips for improving communication beginning with YOU. 1.

2.

As a member of the team, communicate clearly, succinctly and in writing what you want people to do. Your work needs a process that explains, diagrams, and outlines the expectations. A dear friend, Don Carrol told me this, "Uncommunicated expectations are a premeditated opportunity to be disappointed." Eliminating the mystery with a clear instructions also eliminates unnecessasary communication on how, what, when, where, why?

When you receive an email, really read it. Read it from beginning to end. Read it thoroughly. Ask yourself, what does this person need from me. How can I serve them? When responding, make sure you address their needs, concerns, and requests referring directly to their words and request.

I am working with a city team today facilitating a collaborative coaching session with a focus on leadership. I will return emails by the end of business tomorrow.

Then... I add a link to my website and invite them to leave me a voicemail or text if it is urgent! This is very smart for the ambitious and the entrepreneur. I can't tell you the number of times I have received emails saying, "I didn't know you did things like that." Or they say, "I want to know more about your group work for my team." This is also great sales and marketing!

5.

Change your voicemail every day! WHAT??? ...you're thinking.

Yes, change it everyday. Why? Because people need to plan what to do based on your ability to respond. Everyday I let my callers know what my schedule is. I list the times I am able to return calls and then ask them to leave me a message with the BEST time to call them back. This eliminates phone tag. NO more... "YOU"RE IT."

6.

Create a shared calendar with your team and your family. Use Outlook. Use i-Cal. Use Google Calendar. Just start. Get rid of your paper calendar. All the online calendar systems allow you to integrate each other's calendars. My team uses i-Cal. I know when they are on vacation, getting a hair cut, and working with clients. It makes it very easy for me and for them to know if they can talk or I can talk right now or when I might possibly be available. I also know when they are playing with their family and friends! AND...they know when I am doing the same. This puts up boundaries that healthy. Hello...we're busy. But, some things CAN wait. Right?!

7.

Practice truth-telling, honesty, and candor. If you mess up, fess up. Period. If you are frustrated, say so. Stop the drama and get real with each other. This is a HUGE problem in organizations.

We need to learn to give feedback to each other and help each other become sophisticated women of character.

For Example: "As you requested, I have attached the file you need. In addition, I have cc'd the team completing the action item, "Share with the team." If there is anything else, you need. It's my pleasure. (Yes, you too can give excellent customer service just like Chick Fil A!)" 3.

Use your manners. Mamma said, say "please." Mamma said, say "thank you." Mamma said, say "you're welcome." Do what mamma said. You'll make her proud. And, you'll develop a reputation of someone who was "raised right."

4.

Communicate where you are and what you are up to! People have high expectations about hearing back from you quickly. Sometimes I am unable to return emails the same day because I am working with a group doing collaborative coaching or I am speaking at an event in a seminar process from 8am to 5pm! I let people know this tidbit so, they have grace with me! When your email autoresponder is not set up it does not tell people that you're out of pocket. They sit around waiting on a response thinking she's going to get back with me. Set up your auto-reponder with details about what you're doing for the day. Mine might say...

pg 8 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | October 2016

At its deepest level, working with a coach frees you to identify your birthright gifts, discern your deepest passions, and fulfill your highest purpose. A coach can pry you off dead center. As Principal Coach for Vibrant Coaching and Workshop Leader for The Lydia Group, LLC, a collaboration of individuals focused on work, life and spiritual growth, Nicole is on a mission to impact, energize, and influence people to lead a Vibrant Life by engaging the possibilities. As a life and business coach and workshop leader, Nicole views her role as a conduit to release all that you want to achieve. www.thevibrantcoach.com/www.thelydiagroup.com

www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 9

A Touch of Compassion

by Mary Southerland

Today’s Truth

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 Friend to Friend

It was Easter Sunday, and I was sitting in the sanctuary waiting for the worship service to begin. Anticipating a large crowd, I arrived early to drop Jered off in the nursery, one of his favorite places to go since every nursery worker doted on him. As the choir filed in, a friend slipped into the pew beside me and said, “I think you need to go to the nursery. Something is wrong with Jered.”

Jumping up, I leapt over legs, toes, and pews as I raced to the church nursery and my son.

When I got to the nursery, I was not prepared for what I saw.

In a far corner, lying on his favorite red mat was Jered, staring at the ceiling, silent and rigid. As I bent over him, searching those beautiful blue eyes, huge tears slid down his chubby cheeks as he flew into my arms, sobbing. You have to understand – as a baby, Jered cried only when he was hungry, wet, or sick. Something was obviously very wrong. I kissed his forehead. No fever. I checked his diaper. Dry and clean. I had no idea what had broken my son’s heart, but I certainly intended to find out.

The nursery worker drew me aside and said, “We had a new little girl in the nursery today. It was her first time in a church nursery – ever. When her parents left, she immediately began screaming and wouldn’t stop. Jered came running and wrapped his arms around her, but she pushed him away. He then brought her his bottle, but she hurled it across the room and continued screaming. Desperate to help her, Jered then found his diaper bag and fished out Turtle.

Turtle was a small, green-and-blue stuffed turtle we had given Jered during a stay in the hospital when he was seriously ill with the croup. From the moment Jered saw Turtle they were inseparable.

He slept, ate, and played with Turtle clutched tightly in one hand.

Turtle quickly became Jered’s most precious possession.

Mrs. Giles continued, “I couldn’t believe Jered was willing to give Turtle to a stranger, but he tried.” The crying child took one look at Turtle and threw it in Jered’s face. Stunned, he picked up Turtle and lay down on the mat, refusing to move, Turtle clutched tightly in his arms.

pg 10 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | October 2016

Then I knew. I knew Jered couldn’t stand to see the little girl in pain and was determined to help. When he couldn’t comfort the little girl, he retreated, waiting for someone else to help. That’s compassion.

Compassion is not just sympathy. It is empathy. When it comes to dealing with people in pain, we mistakenly equate compassion with “fixing” them. Genuine compassion is first able to feel their pain. And the more pain we experience, the more compassionate we will be.

We must learn to use our pain in the right way, not lashing out, but looking within to share the pain of others. There is a choice in every pain, an opportunity in every trial. Pain makes us focus inward or outward. It makes us martyrs or merciful. The choice is ours.

We have a choice every time we are confronted with a need. We can either ignore the need, or we can meet the need by giving away part of the comfort God has given us when we have been in pain.

Galatians 6:2 (NLT) “Share each other’s troubles and problems, and in this way obey the law of Christ.”

If we can’t prevent pain, we can at least lighten the load with compassion. Alan Redpath wrote, “You can never lighten the load unless you have first felt the pressure in your own soul.”

Compassion makes us willing to feel the pain of others, responding as if it were our own.

Let’s Pray

Father, forgive me when I fail to see the needs of the people in my life. I really want Your love to flow through me to each person I meet. Give me Your heart of compassion to feel their pain, and teach me how to find ways to help ease that pain. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Now It’s Your Turn

Read the story of the Good Samaritan found in Luke 10:31-37.

How can you apply the same truths in your life that the Samaritan applied when taking care of the wounded man?

Wherever today finds you, look around for someone in need – someone who needs a touch of compassion in his or her life. Be willing to let God use you to meet that need.

www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 11

Front The

Porch

Today Is The First Day Of The Rest Of Your Life I really don't know who was the first person that said that and I know everyone has heard it a thousand times. You might even see that and think I have written about that before. I have used the quote before but don't stop reading because of that. This is a new article and I am even going to go a step further with that quote.

THIS MOMENT IS THE FIRST MOMENT OF THE REST OF YOUR LIFE! This week has been a very draining week on me for several reasons. We had a Bible Conference at our church that had morning and evening services. It was physically exhausting but spiritually invigorating. The Lord lifted my soul and we were so blessed to have preachers from all over the country come pour their Godly wisdom into us. I am so blessed that I took the time out for this. Yet, it is over and if you did not make it out, that time has passed. If you missed it.....put it on your calendar for next year. If the Lord tarries it will be the week of September 10th , 2017.

Another reason for my draining week. is because my precious, precious Uncle died this week. The most quoted words in the world..."I LOVE YOU"... cannot covey my love for this man. If you saw him out somewhere you might not have noticed there was anything special about him. A simple man that came through so many hard times himself, He didn't stand out in a crowd.

He so loved to fish but if you saw him on the lake in his simple fishing boat, rod cast, patiently waiting on the big catch, he might not even cause you to take a second look.

by Judy Smith

all for me. He laid down His life that I might have a way to live with him for eternity.

I lived the first 20 years of my life not really believing I was really loved by many people, including my own father.....but my Uncle loved me. How do I know that? HE SHOWED ME. He was not this mushy, gushy, kind of guy. How did I know he loved me? He was there. I don't mean he was always in my presence.

When I was small, we had family get-togethers almost every week. But as things changed, our time together became less frequent....more weeks between, then more months between and then even longer. One thing that never changed: He was always there if I needed him! He came to my rescue many times when my parents were heavily drinking and fighting. He even came to my rescue when I got into situations because of my own stupidity.

How did I know he loved me....HE WAS THERE. As you are reading this, I wonder who is special to you? How long has it been since you told them? Our next moment is not promised to us so let's not let those moment's pass us by. I always told him I loved him when I saw him and he told me the same thing. We both knew each other meant it. My regret right now is I did not take more opportunities. Yet we can't live our life with regrets if we don't learn from them. Please, I beg, don't let that last moment pass by and all you are left with is a regret.

To me, though, he was a giant. He was my Hero. I was blessed to speak at his memorial. I want to share with you some of what I said: Who loves me and how do I know it?

First of all, God loves me. How do I know that? John 3:16 tells us: For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

Next, Jesus love me. How do I know that? Because He gave it

pg 12 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | October 2016

Judy Smith : Wife, Mother, Grandmother, Child of God Inspirational & Motivational Speaker with a little humor thrown in for good measure. judy@sophiewomansmagazine.com

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Are you on the right frequency?

Our mindsets are a powerful tool … more powerful than many of us realize. It is at the very heart of what transpires within our lives. From our body language to our innermost thoughts, we are sending signals to ourselves and to others without even realizing the underlying effects they will have on our future outcomes. Add to this our actual actions that we consciously take, and an astute outsider looking at our lives can see clearly why certain things are not going according to our plan.

Our true power comes when we can see, feel, and understand how are setting the tone for each moment, which in turn sets in motion results directly tied to our continuous thoughts and actions.

Subconsciously Reinforcing: Some may call it self-talk and others just call it worry. However, whatever you continually dwell upon in your innermost thoughts is what you ultimately believe is possible and could happen. Too often, this meanders down the path of “worry” and “cannot” versus “victory” and “can do.” We are more likely not to give ourselves enough credit, and therefore, not believe we can really make what we desire actually happen. If you find your thoughts going quickly to the negative side of things, be aware of this and pay close attention to it. It means you are on a negative frequency with a higher focus on what is negative and wrong, versus what is positive and right.

Consciously Aware: When you begin to recognize how your thinking is primarily focusing on negative outcomes, then you can gain more control over your thinking to help get it back on a more positive track. The more you allow yourself to dwell in what is going wrong or what is happening that upsets you, the more you are emphasizing the exact situations you really do not want to have occurring. By becoming consciously aware that you are allowing this to happen as a result of your current way of thinking, you can literally stop this thinking in the very moment that you recognize it is happening. You can then replace that thinking with a more desirable possibility, or simply an affirmation that everything is going to work out like it is meant to work out.

Focused Intention: As you are shifting from the thoughts that are negatively running rampant in your head to being consciously aware that these thoughts are not serving you well, the next key step is to become intently focused on what you have total control to do in that very moment. This helps you place your attention in a more positive direction by taking action in a constructive or

pg 14 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | October 2016

redirective way. Your choice to be focused on what you can do versus what you cannot control subconsciously tells your inner self that you intend to prevail over this particular situation.

Positive Shifting: What happens if the negativity is coming at you from all directions from the outside, not from within your own mind? While you cannot control others or circumstances that are happening around you, you can control how you respond, how it is being internally processed, and how it is coming at you. If a conversation is turning negative, then shift the focus to something positive or change the subject entirely. If you are listening to the news, scanning the Internet, or overhearing something that is negative, choose to turn off the noise or remove yourself from being within hearing distance. If you find yourself totally consumed by a specific negative situation happening in your life right now, force yourself to focus on a positive situation you can enjoy or have control over, including perhaps giving attention to someone else in need to sharing appreciation to someone for something done on your behalf recently.

Unexpected Coincidences: What I have found to be most fascinating and rewarding about this awareness and shifting process is how unexpected opportunities can present themselves that would have otherwise been totally missed. A decision to get away from a negative conversation and go for a walk results in running into a person or seeing a sign that leads you to an answer or resource you need. A flip of a channel on the TV or radio lands on a piece of information you find useful later. When you make it a point to not allow negativity in, you open yourself for the most positive options to appear and flow to you.

Our ability to think is so much more than being smart or intelligent. It enables us to take control of our destiny by understanding that there is always something we can do as a result of what we actually think that we can do. Believe that you can achieve, prevail, overcome, create, or triumph to the very core of your innermost thoughts, and there is truly nothing that can stop you. Nothing.

Bio: Sherré DeMao inspires people around the globe through her monthly columns, weekly Insight eZine and national contributing writing. Her books, Me, Myself & Inc. (www.memyselfandinc.com) and 50 Marketing Secrets (www.50marketingsecrets.com) have received national acclaim as Top Business Shelf picks and must-reads.

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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 15

He Said, She Said

What’s The Temperature of Your Relationship?

by David and Amy Washco

R

elationships are a lot like cars and annual physicals. Every so often you have to check the oil, rotate the tires and turn your head and cough. The goal of regular maintenance and health check-ups is to prevent major issues down the road.

The same should be true with any significant relationship. Every so often it’s a good idea to perform a relationship diagnostic. It’s been said that “Husbands are the thermostat. They control the temperature. Wives, on the other hand, are the thermometer. They will tell you the temperature.” Most people seem open to work evaluations, car inspections and health physicals yet many of us are scared of evaluating our own relationships.

He Said:When I get an evaluation from my doctor, there is an inherent and recognized level of “expertise.” I trust him and follow his advice because he has many years of training in the medical field. He either tells me what’s wrong, and we plot a life style change or a course of medicine to correct it; or he tells me all is well- keep up the good work! I think men in general have a hard time feeling vulnerable in a relationship. It wasn’t until our pre-marital counseling that I really understood how to do this without making either of us feel defensive or inadequate. Amy and I participated in a few exercises that we still find valuable today. A pretty simple one focuses on the five love languages. It only requires two 4 x 6 index cards and two pens. (To make this a little fun, do this over a dinner out while you are waiting on your meal to arrive.) Each of you write down on separate lines the following: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time and Physical Touch. Then on a scale of 1-5, rank in order the most important way your partner can express their love for you, you each rank those love languages. Then exchange the cards to see what’s most important to your partner.

This sparks good conversation and is a great reminder that my wife requires a different approach than I do.

pg 16 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | October 2016

She Said:With age and maturity has come the realization that my husband cannot read my mind. It’s not fair for me to expect him to. The cause of most difficulties in a relationship seems to be ambiguous expectations around roles and goals for each partner.

While these can easily be reviewed on a Saturday afternoon walk together, I find that our best conversations around roles and goals happen when we get out of town, away from everything. We get out our calendars and discuss what our next few months look like.

From business travel, to grocery shopping to what’s working and what’s not when it comes to our children and finances and our love life, we cover all the bases. My husband is very romantic so I usually come away needing to step up in this department! Over the years, we’ve found that our relationship works best when we don’t have traditional gender roles. We divide and conquer based on what has to be accomplished. It’s truly a team approach- and 50/50 partnership. He doesn’t know what I’m thinking though unless I tell him. Neither one of us can fix something if we don’t know it’s broken.

Recalibration is the key to any healthy relationship. Regular check-ups to avoid issues down the road can be quick and painless as long as you have a constructive approach and loving attitude. Selecting the right time and place for a relationship examination is important! Be sure you are able to focus on your partner without interruption. If you examine your relationship frequently enough, you’ll soon be able to tell when you just have a cold or if it’s something more serious that might require help from a professional counselor.

David and Amy Washco are survivors of divorce and serve as relationship advocates.

With a sales and marketing background, they are married and live in Hickory, NC. David and Amy are parents to 18 year old Savannah and 10 year old Riley.

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He Will Soar Again

by Debbie Roberson

“… but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles. They will walk and not grow weary. They will run and not be faint.”

Isaiah 40:31

I sat on the porch with my Bible in my lap. It was early morning and smmer’s humidity had been replaced with a crispness that declared autumn was soon to show herself.

My Quiet Time was interrupted by the drone of a crop duster off in the distance. The sound of the plane brought forth a flood of emotions and I remembered my Daddy the way he used to be -- the way he was before Alzheimer’s robbed him of his ability to soar. Tears welled up hot, coming unwelcomed, spilling down my cheeks.

My grandmother, my beloved Mama Betty, told me many times before she passed away, that my Daddy was born with a desire to fly.

She reminisced of how as a little boy he would take a chair from the kitchen table, lay it down on the floor, and pretend it was the cockpit of a plane. I remember seeing a picture of Daddy as a young boy wearing a WWII style aviator’s cap ... a leather one with flaps that came down over his ears. Yes, from a very early age, God had given him a dream to soar among the clouds.

Some of my earliest memories carry me back to Sunday afternoons spent at Warren Field in Washington, North Carolina. Daddy would hold me up in his arms, and over and over we would watch the planes take off and land.

I was so proud of him. I remember how it made me feel as a little girl to sit beside him in the front seat of the plane. He gave me maps to hold and called me his navigator. He made me feel special. I doubt that Daddy realized that I would carry those memories with me throughout my lifetime.

In my little girl opinion, Daddy was the best pilot in the world. I remember watching him zooming over the soybean field by our house

pg 20 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | October 2016

– mere inches from the ground. At the last possible second, he would pull up sharply - just in time to miss the pine trees at the field’s edge. I remember the odd mix of pride and fear that I felt as I watched him.

I think about it now, and realize more than I ever did before, just how extremely skilled he was as a pilot. I am in awe of the incredible intellect, skills, reflexes, and hand/eye coordination that it took to fly the way that he did.

The sound of the plane coming closer brought me back up from my memories. I stood up slowly from my Quiet Time spot. I put my hand up to shield my eyes from the bright morning sun, and watched the plane bank to make another pass over the field across the way. I stood transfixed as the unknown pilot performed his aerial acrobatics over the field. For yet another moment in time, I was a little girl again, watching my Daddy soaring back up into the heavens . . . rocking the plane back and forth in his traditional good bye wave as he headed back to the air strip.

Daddy and Mother live just down the road from me, so I knew he must have heard the plane. I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket and dialed Daddy’s number. When he answered, I said with a glimmer of hope in heart, “Daddy, did you hear it? Have you been outside to watch?”

My sweet Daddy seemed far away. “I believe I heard an airplane,” he said quietly. He seemed to grasp for a thread of a memory, but at that particular moment he just wasn’t able to recall that he too had once performed daring feats of aeronautics over countless fields in rural eastern North Carolina.

With trembling voice I said, “I love you Daddy. I’ll talk to you later.” My white haired hero said, “I love you too.”

I read a passage a while back from L. B. Cowman’s “Streams in the Desert”. It is a story about a majestic eagle that had been shot. This particular part of the passage reminded me of my Daddy. “… with his eyes still gleaming like small circles of light, he slowly turned his head, giving one last searching and longing look toward the sky. He had often swept those starry spaces with his wonderful wings.

The beautiful sky was the home of his heart…”

One day Daddy will soar again. This Earth is not his home.

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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 21

Pumpkin Cheesecake with Gingersnap Crust

P

umpkins are readily available in fall, when people carve jack-o’-lanterns out of pumpkins for Halloween or serve up pumpkin pie after a hearty Thanksgiving dinner. But people who are unsatisfied with plain old pumpkin pie can add something new to their repertoire this fall by cooking up the following recipe for “Pumpkin Cheesecake with Gingersnap Crust,” courtesy of Lori Longbotham’s “Luscious Creamy Desserts” (Chronicle Books).

Pumpkin Cheesecake with Gingersnap Crust Serves 8 to 10 Crust 11⁄2 1⁄2 6 1⁄4

cups gingersnap cookie crumbs cup finely chopped hazelnuts tablespoons unsalted butter, melted cup sugar

Filling 11⁄2 1⁄2 1⁄4 2 2 11⁄2 2 1 1⁄2

2

pounds cream cheese, at room temperature cup packed light brown sugar cup granulated sugar large eggs large egg yolks tablespoons all-purpose flour teaspoons pumpkin pie spice cup solid-pack pumpkin purée (not pumpkin pie mix) cup créme fraîche, homemade (see below) or storebought, or sour cream teaspoons pure vanilla extract

1. Preheat the oven to 350 F. Lightly butter an 8- or 81⁄2inch springform pan.

2. To make the crust: Stir together all of the ingredients in a medium bowl until the crumbs are moistened. Press

pg 22 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | October 2016

Add Something New to Your Pumpkin Repertoire the mixture over the bottom and up the sides of the pan.

Bake the crust for 10 minutes. Let cool completely on a wire rack. Increase the oven temperature to 425 F. 3. To make the filling: With an electric mixer on medium speed, beat the cream cheese, brown sugar and granulated sugar in a large deep bowl until light and fluffy. Beat in the eggs and then the egg yolks one at a time, beating well after each addition. Add the flour and pumpkin pie spice and beat on low speed until just combined. Add the pumpkin purée, créme fraîche and vanilla, and beat until just combined. Pour the filling into the shell.

4. Place the cheesecake on a baking sheet and bake for 15 minutes. Reduce the oven temperature to 250 F and continue baking for 1 hour.

5. Turn the oven off and let the cheesecake cool in the oven for 21⁄2 hours. Then transfer to a wire rack and let cool to room temperature. Refrigerate, tightly covered, for at least 10 hours, until thoroughly chilled and set, or for up to 2 days.

6. To serve, run a knife around the side of the cheesecake and remove the side of the pan. Serve slightly chilled or at room temperature, cut into thin wedges with a sharp knife dipped into hot water and wiped dry after each cut.

Créme Fraîche Makes about 1⁄2 cup 1⁄2 1⁄2

cup heavy whipping cream cup créme fraîche or sour cream with live cultures

Pour the cream into a glass jar with a tight-fitting lid and spoon in the créme fraîche. Let sit on the counter, with the lid slightly ajar, until the mixture thickens, from 4 to 24 hours, depending on the weather. Refrigerate, tightly covered, until ready to use.

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Ponder Truth

by Julie McGrath

W

The Hidden Life

hen I was a little girl, I loved my mother’s garden. All through the summer, she grew all sorts of vegetables – carrots, radishes, cauliflower and green peppers. I remember one year she planted something new – pumpkins! I was so excited at the thought of growing our own pumpkins to pick and carve for the fall. We planted the seeds and I patiently waited while the vine slowly spread across the garden bed. Finally we saw blossoms, and tiny green pumpkins soon followed. Sadly, most of them didn’t make it; the victim of garden bugs.

But one pumpkin was perfect. It was orange and round and grew bigger by the day.

At last, around October 25th, the day came when it was time to pick the long awaited pumpkin. I went out the garden patch and – Oh the horror! – my prize pumpkin looked like a deflated orange balloon!! In disbelief, I picked it up to examine it – and what did I discover beneath it? A large gopher hole.

While I was faithfully watering my pumpkin and checking on all the external clues about its health and well-being, I was unaware of a hidden threat: the underground schemes of several hungry and unwelcome gophers. The real story in the life of that garden turned out to be very different from the reality of what I observed on the surface. What was really going on underground was gopher city – an extensive tunnel system of a whole family of gophers.

This hidden “gopher world” reminds me of a profound truth in each of our lives. The person that I really am is who I am in the hidden person of my heart, the one only God sees…and the hidden reality is the true reality. “…for God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” – 1 Samuel 16:7

heart and mind with shallow and temporal things – things that won’t last? “ Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account.” – Hebrews 4:13 3. What am I doing with my spare moments? Am I renewing my mind in God’s truth every day? Am I serving people in need…and teaching our family to serve? Am I using my time well, focused on honoring God, staying healthy – spiritually, physically and emotionally – so I am ready to bless others? “Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil.” – Ephesians 5:15-16 Just as the fate of my pumpkin was doomed by the hidden reality of destructive forces under ground, the hidden realities of our lives will eventually find their way to the surface. Have you considered lately, what is going on in your hidden person?

As we consider the eyes of God, searching for integrity and sincerity in our lives, may each of us humble ourselves in the deepest places of our hearts and minds. May we earnestly desire to please Him in every way. (Col. 1:10) May that beautiful hidden reality be what nourishes and sustains our most precious priorities and refines the motivations of our hearts. Only then, will the fruit of our lives (like maybe a big fat pumpkin!), be healthy and lasting.

“You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last…” – John 15:16 Fruit that will last forever…now, that’s a harvest to look forward to!

Going deeper…

What are you filling your heart and mind with each day? Is it helping your walk with God and the growth of good and lasting fruit in your life?

This truth calls me to the highest of standards: integrity before God. Have you let something creep in that will eventually destroy the good It calls me to remember that His perspective and estimation of my life fruit that is growing in the garden of your life? Maybe it’s time to dig up is the true one. the dirt and set some things in order.

A few questions to ask ourselves: 1. What is really going on in the quiet meditations of my heart and what is coming out when I speak? Am I thinking about God, His love and His ways? Am I honoring people, especially those closest to me? ….or is there pride or jealousy or bitterness in my heart that no one knows about but me? “May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.” – Psalm 19:14 2. What is going on when no one sees? Am I loving and serving my family well in the privacy of our home? Am I spending time still before God, praying to Him, reading His Word and attentive to what He is teaching me? Am I honest with him, confessing sin and asking Him to show me my heart? …or am I busy and neglectful, filling my

pg 24 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | October 2016

Thanks again for the opportunity! I would love to be a part of the efforts of Sophie! With JOY, Julie McGrath :)

Julie McGrath is the wife of John and the proud mom of six. She loves to sing, write and encourage others to simply love Christ more! Her favorite verse is Psalm 119:32 “I run in the paths of your commands for you have set my heart free!” She is the co-founder of Making Our Mothering Significant, a ministry to moms of all ages.

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A Prearranged Coffee Date

by Letty Lozano

I

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart” Proverbs 3:5

moved from my hometown in Texas about a year ago. It was not easy for me as it is the only place I have ever lived, and I had to leave my family and friends behind. One day while running errands, I came across a “Sophie Woman’s Magazine” which caught my eye. I took it home, read it and immediately felt connected. It got to the point where I looked forward to it every month; one would think I was expecting a check in the mail, as every new edition I would read something I needed to hear. I wanted more: more articles, more stories, more inspiration, and more messages from God. I wanted to spread the word, so when I would go back to Texas to visit, I would pick up a few extra copies for my sisters and ask them to pass it around.

In the July issue of the magazine, I noticed that Judy, the owner, was considering selling her magazine. My, first thought was “oh no, please don’t do that, I love this magazine, just the way it is. My second thought was to email the owner, not that I had any intention to purchase it, I knew I wouldn’t have that kind of money. I believe that God nudged me in a way that happened so fast; I didn’t even have time to think about it. Before I knew it the send button was pressed and the email was on its way.

I just left it in Gods hands, and figured she probably already sold it anyway, or maybe she wouldn’t even email me back.

But, lo and behold, she did email me back. Just like I thought, she told me that she had already sold the magazine but that she was still going to be playing a big part in it for a long while.

We emailed a little small talk back and forth and before I knew it we were going to meet for coffee. I don’t think either one of us knew why, other than it felt right. We were both very excited after the plans had been made and we verified the time and place a few days before.

As soon as I saw her, I felt like I had known her all my

pg 26 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | October 2016

life and then we formally introduced each other. We talked and talked over coffee like longtime friends do after not seeing each other for a long time. It’s like we picked up from where we left off, only we had never met before.

The miracle about this whole coffee date is that things unfolded in a way that is just not typical. I became friends with the magazine just after moving here and it became such a part of my spiritual journey that the only explanation of how it got to this point is that God had this prearranged for who knows how long. God placed that magazine in my path that just happened to lead to everything else but it was on purpose and for a purpose.

I don’t know where all the other dots will connect, but we became friends because that was what God wanted. He is always in control of our lives and all we have to do is to follow His guidance. I have learned that sometimes we are led to do things we may not even understand why, but it’s the “do it anyway,” that might lead you to something that ultimately is a true blessing.

I always pray for God’s guidance and that He will put people and situations into my life that will help me do what it is He wants me to do. Thank you God, for putting such a beautiful and inspirational woman in my path. Not knowing too many people here, I am so grateful that you arranged this coffee date for us.

I now have a new friend and a new prayer partner. I believe in the power of prayer and like Judy told me in one of her emails, “we can never have enough friends”, but even better than that is having friends that also believe in the power of prayer.

Letty Lozano is a writer and author of her first Memoir, “Traveling Blind.” As a survivor of a loved ones suicide, her memoir was born out of the responses she received from readers of blog entries written during her painful journey from utter despair to a renewal of her faith and enjoyment of life. She believes only God the creator can provide the comfort, strength of mind, and encouragement required by survivors to travel blindly into the future full of confidence and renewed joy. www.lettylozano.com

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Think about bright, perky red, and notice how it enlivens everything around it. It’s the brightest, the most outstanding of the autumn colors,and drive along somewhere, and every time you see bright red, you smile and think ‘ahh’.

I love orange, and think of it as the consummate autumn color. Orange leaves, orange pumpkins, it’s such a bright and cheerful color, you can’t look at orange and not smile. Surely God intended that when he created the blaze of orange that graces our countryside this time of year. Orange is a happy color for sure.

Yellow is an interesting color, and it’s usually the first autumn color to make the scene. all the poplar trees turn yellow about mid august, and then, i know, fall is soon to follow. Yellow is another happy color, and I smile every time I see a yellow leaf catch the sunlight and shimmer on a cool, autumn day.

To balance it all out, we even need some brown in there, it makes us appreciate all the sparkling reds and oranges, but, brown is a necessary fall color. It tells us the leaves are dying and falling off, getting ready for the foliage to hibernate, and create new life come spring. I’ve heard so many folks talk about the ‘dead of winter’, but, to me, it’s simply a reminder that God is in His heaven, sending us this panoply of gorgeous colors and letting us know that in another season, we will again burst forth into glorious spring, with new colors to add to our list of favorites.

It’s a reminder that life goes on, we are not in charge, but, told to sit back. let God do it, and revel in the beautiful changes to our scenery that He provides for us.

The changing seasons bring life and renewal, they let us experience life and all of it’s changes. They usher in the glories of autumn, and the hope that we appreciate all that the season has to give us. Smell the air, savor the aroma of burning leaves, and smile at all the funny pumpkin faces that we’ll see adorning our neighborhood porches.

Sit back, enjoy the fall foliage, praise it, and give thanks for it, it’ s all part of this blessed world that our Creator made just for us.

Jan McCanless is an award winning author of 13 books, a freelance columnist, and premier southern humorist. a retired teacher. She is grandmother to 9 cherubs and is a commissioned lay minister of the Lutheran faith.

pg 28 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | October 2016

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SAY HELLO TO THE QUALITY OF DUKE LIFEPOINT HEALTHCARE

Frye Regional Medical Center is now part of Duke LifePoint Healthcare. For the communities we serve that means nationally renowned clinical and quality guidance, but with a Hickory address.

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