VOLUME 8 - ISSUE 8 / OCTOBER 2012
Wo m a n ’ s M a g a z i n e
INSIDE: Girlfriends In God ~ Do You Know How To Sit Down? | Page 15 Reaching Your Full Potential ~ It’s Time To Stop Running On Empty | Page 7 Me, Myself, & Inc. ~ Are Emotions Your Biggest Stress Enducers? | Page 27 shutterbuggerz pg 37
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Everyone knows that October is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month. It has been publicized and talked about so much. There are so many events that go on everywhere that bring attention to this and it needs to be. Last month Sophie Woman’s Magazine also focused on Gynecologic Cancer Awareness Month and National Ovarian Cancer Awareness Month. I want to apologize for my stupidity on missing the fact that September was also Childhood Cancer Awareness Month. To be perfectly honest, I did not know that until a reader brought it to my attention and I am ashamed of that. As horrible as cancer is, how much more devastating is it when it happens to a child. The first that I could find was in 1990 when it was a proclamation made by then President George Bush but was later changed to September to gain greater awareness. “Children should never have to learn about blood counts, steroids, chemotherapies, radiation, but the cold hard facts are that they do. Did you know that, according to the American Childhood Cancer Association, childhood cancer is the number one disease killer of children -- more than asthma, cystic fibrosis, diabetes, and pediatric AIDS -- combined? Forty-six children and adolescents are diagnosed every single day. One in every 330 children develops cancer before age 19. One in every five children diagnosed with cancer will die”. Sherrie Bushong Maxey, Director of House Operations of Ronald McDonald House of Charities of Memphis Readers, please forgive me for that oversight and many thanks to the reader who brought it to my attention. Neither do I want to miss the fact that this month is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Here are some statistics that might surprise you: Domestic Violence Statistics • Every 9 seconds in the U.S. a woman is assaulted or beaten. • Around the world, at least one in every three women have been beaten, coerced into sex or otherwise abused during her lifetime. Most often, the abuser is a member of her own family. • Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women—more than car accidents, muggings, and rapes combined. • Studies suggest that up to 10 million children witness some form of domestic violence annually. • Nearly 1 in 5 teenage girls who have been in a relationship said a boyfriend threatened violence or self-harm if presented with a breakup. • Every day in the US, more than three women are murdered by their husbands or boyfriends. • Ninety-two percent of women surveyed listed reducing domestic violence and sexual assault as their top concern. • Domestic violence victims lose nearly 8 million days of paid work per year in the US alone—the equivalent of 32,000 full-time jobs. • Based on reports from 10 countries, between 55 percent and 95 percent of women who had been physically abused by their partners had never contacted non-governmental organizations, shelters, or the police for help. • The costs of intimate partner violence in the US alone exceed $5.8 billion per year: $4.1 billion are for direct medical and health care services, while productivity losses account for nearly $1.8 billion. • Men who as children witnessed their parents’ domestic violence were twice as likely to abuse their own wives than the men of nonviolent parents. I want to say from a person who as a child lived this life that I think the numbers are far greater than is known. So many women and children think it is their fault, that in some way they deserved it, so they try to cover it up or keep it to themselves. Domestic violence should not happen to anybody. Ever. Period. If you are in danger, call 911, your local hotline, or the U.S. National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 Thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading Sophie Woman’s Magazine.
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Message From The Heart......................................pg 3 Reaching Your Full Potential................................pg 7 How To Be Fabulous............................................pg 8 Simple Ways To Boost Your Energy...................pg 9 JournalingThe Journey...........................................pg 11 The Fly Lady.........................................................pg 13 Girlfriends In God................................................pg 15 Health & Fitness Tips...........................................pg 16 Behind The Name: Amelia Earhardt....................pg 19 Adult Children Of Aging Parents.......................pg 20 Sophisticated Women...........................................pg 23 Me, Myself, & Inc................................................pg 27 Susan G. Komen: More Than Just A Race!......pg 29 Something Old, Something New..........................pg 31 Recipes For Life...................................................pg 33 The Wedding Planner...........................................pg 34 Mandy’s Misadventures........................................pg 36 Shutterbuggerz......................................................pg 37
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********************************************************** Disclaimer: Sophie Woman’s Magazine LLC is published monthly. The articles published in Sophie do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the publisher. All articles are intended for informational purposes only, and none should serve as a substitute for doctor’s advice and orders. Advertisers are solely responsible for the content and validity of information published within their ads and are not necessarily endorsed by the publisher. Deceptive or misleading advertising is not knowingly accepted by the publisher. Advertising is accepted with the understanding that all liability for copyright violations is the sole responsibility of the advertiser. All material submitted for publication is considered to be the sole property of the advertiser. Sophie Woman’s Magazine LLC’s publishers, staff, and other persons involved in the creation, production, or delivery of the magazine (in whatever format) or ti’s content, do not assume any liability or responsibility for the accuracy, completeness, or usefulness of any information provided in the magazine, nor shall they be liable for any direct, indirect, incidental, special, consequential, or punitive damages arising out of the use of the magazine. **********************************************************
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REACHING YOUR FULL POTENTIAL: It’s Time To Stop Living On Empty! by Kim Fletcher, Life Coach, Author, Speaker
“The demands today are far and beyond what they have been before. People are working harder and faster and still it is not enough…. Many are at a breaking point.” Adele McDowell Breakdown or breakthrough… which do you choose? I want the breakthrough, but the pace of today’s world requires us to make strategic choices along the way to avoid the pitfalls of overload. This powerful quote by Adele McDowell was featured in her article entitled: Overworked? Seven Strategies to Help You Cope. In this article, she highlights simple strategies that can help anyone facing burnout or overload. If your life is feeling a bit overwhelming, perhaps it would benefit you to take some time to consider the simple steps she offers (Steps taken directly from the article noted above. My thoughts added in italics): 1. 2.
STOP: It feels counterintuitive, but stop. Stop to evaluate the root cause of your feelings of burnout. Take time to ask yourself what you are currently doing that is not working? DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT: Change the game, change your brain. Once you identify what is not working, develop a new strategy. For example, a recent coaching client realized that her day was starting off with stress because she would check her email first thing and immediately encounter problems. She moved this activity later in her day and altered her mood and atmosphere of her office by simply shifting and controlling her email influx. WORK SMART: Those folks who work on optimal performance models tell us that we should work in 90-120 minute chunks and then do something different for 15 minutes. Why not test this proven theory? MAKE THE CARE AND TENDING OF YOUR PROFOUND EXHAUSTION A PERSONAL PRIORITY: You are not really effective if you are dragging your over-taxed, droopy, fried-brain self through countless meetings, calls and tasks. Good self care rewards you with resilience and happiness. MOVE: Most of us overexert our minds while moving little in our bodies. Add daily physical movement to your routine. Try parking further away from your favorite destination as a simple start. You will be rewarded, even in the area of deeper sleep. CREATE SOME BOUNDARIES: It’s time to learn that timehonored and very difficult, head-shaking response, “No”. For such a small word, it packs a huge wallop. Try saying “No” to at least one thing today that would tug you away from your highest priorities.
REMEMBER THE BIG PICTURE: There is life beyond your desk. Really, it’s true. There is much beyond you – great activities, life, possibilities and options. There is much to quicken the heart, feed the soul and expand your creative portals. The world does not end when you walk away from your busyness.
I really appreciate this author’s effort in calling us to that higher place where we honor our heart condition and our body’s condition above our work achievements. Think about it, if you are totally spent, there is nothing left to give to those you love and serve. Taking care of yourself is not selfish; it is essential. This is a revelation that many people (MOST women) need to grasp in this era where our culture honors busyness above integrity, achievement above character, and work over rest. Perhaps it is time for a paradigm shift in your own life… get bold and allow that shift to flow into your household, your office, your car and every environment you enter. One of my favorite bosses of all time had one criticism of me… she said that I guarded my time more diligently than anyone she had ever known. I was a focused worker who intended to leave the office on time… and to fully leave it all behind me until tomorrow. What she saw as a negative (as I resisted late evening work and meetings), I saw as an essential if I was going to have a life which was supported by my work, rather than work that was supported by my life. Time should be honoring you, not controlling you. If you have that reality flipped in your life, it may be time to take a full day OFF to recalibrate your priorities and to raise the bar on your care of yourself and your family/friends. No one will care for you better than the God who created you. Get still enough to hear His voice as He redirects your tasks, your thoughts and your activities. The Biblical concept of Sabbath calls us to one full day of rest a week, one full weekend a month and one month a year. It’s time to stop living on empty. Take a much needed break and watch your effectiveness soar as a result!
About Kim... Kim Fletcher is a Life Coach, Speaker and three-time Author of global impact. She and her team at Kim Fletcher Associates are bringing true transformation to the personal and professional lives of their clients. Contact her directly to learn more about her newest release, The Tension Point: Breaking Through To Where You Want To Be. 828 327 6702 / email: kimfletchercoach@aol. com / web: kimfletcherassociates.com.
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 7
Fabulous HOW TO BE
And Fight Like A Girl! by Gracie
Photo By NicholLancaster.com
It’ s Breast Cancer Awareness Month again…my pink streak is in my hair (My kids are fabulously embarrassed by this! lol), the ‘walk’ is on, and I am terrified that this may be the year that I find out my cancer has spread. Ok, I know…that isn’t very “Gracie” to say that. Maybe it is the fact that this coming February will mark that magical 5 year mark. I’m scared. NOW…I’ve said it…so let’s move on!!! Every year at this time I also read the article I wrote “How to be Fabulous…with cancer”. I have to say that when I read this, it puts things back into perspective for me. I remember that, as Mother Theresa said “God doesn’t give you more than you can handle”. I can handle this… Yes...I have had Cancer. I was diagnosed with breast cancer almost five years ago at the age of 37 (YIKES...did I print that??!!). The following is my story, my feelings...and it may offend some. But then again, when have I ever given a darn?? lol. I am also inserting some humor, ‘cause we all need to laugh...even on our worst days. I am a positive person, yet I have an attitude, am a little loud, and, ya, I fight like a girl. I was supposed to write about “How to look and feel great while fighting Cancer”. That would have been a great article, because I have a lot of suggestions! I personally had a bilateral mastectomy with reconstruction. It was like going through puberty all over again!! I started out as a DD, had the mastectomy...then went from an A cup to a C. I hate to admit it, but I kind of enjoyed wearing the sporty little tanks while I was rockin’ the little ta-ta’s...then watching them grow! I felt the need to torment my poor sister (my caretaker, shoulder to cry on, and best friend) by singing “I must..I must...I must increase my bust!!!” She would cry!!! Until I looked at her and said “They are boobs...I’m alive...it’s ok.” Anyway, while I was contemplating the subject matter, I realized that I had found actual BENEFITS OF CANCER. You heard me girls, I am a better person because I have/had Cancer. So, that’s what I will write about. When you are diagnosed with Cancer, you will NEVER feel younger, stronger, or love as deeply. Period. At 37 I felt like a toddler. I had soooo much more to do!! What??? Wait..I have two babies to take care of (not to mention graduations, weddings, and grandbabies), I wanna take my mama to Italy, spend a Christmas in Colorado, skydive!!!! I am WAAAYYY too young to have this... Until I was diagnosed, I complained about how old I felt.
pg 8 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | October 2012
Not anymore...I have so much more life to live. I have never felt so YOUNG. Everyone told me how ‘brave’ I was. Hmmm, actually I didn’t have a choice. Given the choice, I would have prefered to not have Cancer and sit on my back porch with a huge glass of Cabernet. Although I did LOVE the encouragement. Ya, I laminated my “Cancer Card”. I use it frequently ;). I will say that while laying in that hospital bed, wrapped in bandages, I have never felt stronger or more alive. I had taken my first real punch at my enemy...and it was a knockout. As my sister crept into the room (later telling me it took her a long time to compose herself), I felt STRONG. Cancer is like an epiphany. “Good Lord, I only have 40 more years with my family!” Ha! Fabulous AND optimistic!! Seriously, as cliche as it may be, money doesn’t make you happy...love does. Ok, well, money does too (medical bills, anyone??). However, when you realize that life could end, you re-evaluate your priorities. You make life changing decisions (even when they tell ya not to) and forget about that ugly word ‘procrastination’. Funny how your worst problems from yesterday seem insignificant today. A cancer patient has the opportunity to reeeeaaally feel love...given and received. Just the look in my moms’ eyes, or the squeeze of your childs hand before you go into surgery...undescribable. I have truly experienced emotions beyond what many ‘healthy’ people will never know! I feel LOVED. Cancer is nothing but an opportunity. An opportunity to show what you are really made of. Maybe it’s Gods way of saying “Show me you can conquer...show your family and friends...but, most importantly, show yourself”. Succeed in beating what they tell you you can not, smile when they tell you it’s time to be more aggressive, and if they say to ‘prepare’ for the worst...give ‘em hell...because you can. I don’t say all this pretending that cancer doesn’t kill...it does. What I can say is it gives you a chance, an opportunity to fight.. and there is no better feeling than knowing you gave all you got. Everyone is going to die. When it’s my time, I’m going out with dignity, pride, and my self esteem through the roof (Can you imagine that!!??). I think of it very simply...Cancer has given me an OPPORTUNITY to be amazing... And even more fabulous.
Simple Ways To
Your Energy Levels
No one is immune to random bouts of fatigue. For many people, fatigue is most common around midafternoon, when the workday starts to drag and that hefty midday meal has inspired thoughts of catnaps. Though an episode of fatigue here or there is likely nothing to worry about, adults who find themselves routinely struggling to muster any energy, whether it’s to finish a project at work or play with the kids at night, might be surprised to learn that boosting daily energy levels is relatively simple. The following are a few easy ways to boost your energy levels and make the most of each and every day.
mental acuity and mood. Instead of a large omelet platter for breakfast, choose a small bowl of low-calorie cereal and follow it up three to four hours later with a healthy snack of fresh fruit. When lunchtime arrives three to four hours after your mid-morning snack, choose a small lunch with ample protein and follow that up a few hours later with a healthy snack of yogurt. The specifics of your diet should be discussed with your physician, but you will likely find that eating smaller,more frequent meals and healthy snacks will drastically improve your energy levels throughout the day. * Drink more fluids. Your lack of energy might not be the result of an unhealthy breakfast or a lack of exercise. Some people simply don’t drink enough fluids to stay hydrated and feel sluggish as a result. Symptoms of dehydration mimic those of hunger, leading many to purchase unhealthy snacks when they might just need to drink more fluids. Those snacks can compound the sluggishness you feel from being dehydrated, zapping your energy levels even further. So if you daily routine does not include drinking enough fluids, try having a few glasses of water each day and your energy levels might just improve.
* Get regular exercise. Many adults know the value of exercise but simply can’t find the time in the day to squeeze in a little time on the treadmill or at the gym. But the American Council on Exercise notes that as little as 10 minutes of moderate or vigorous exercise at a time each day can boost your energy levels and improve mood. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention recommend that adults get at least 2 hours and 30 minutes of moderate-intensity aerobic activity, including at least two days of musclestrengthening activities, each week. If that’s a problem, particularly on weekdays, squeeze in 10 minutes here or there when the opportunity presents itself. But the more committed you are to regular exercise, the more your energy levels are likely to improve. * Treat yourself to a massage. Many people find their energy levels are adversely affected by stress. Too much stress can make you physically sick and cause both physical and mental fatigue. There are many ways to more effectively cope with stress, and treating yourself to a massage is one of them. A massage can relieve stress and help overworked muscles recover, boosting energy levels as a result. * Treat breakfast with the respect it deserves. When you wake up in the morning, even after a great night’s sleep, your body’s energy reserves are almost entirely depleted. Consequently, men and women who don’t eat a healthy breakfast are almost certain to struggle with their energy levels throughout the day. Something as simple as a bowl of low-calorie cereal or some oatmeal with fruit can help restore your body’s energy levels and lay the groundwork for a productive day. Skipping breakfast entirely will make you feel sluggish in the morning and increases the risk that you will overeat come lunchtime, adversely impacting your energy levels for the rest of the day.
A low-calorie bowl of cereal in the morning can help improve energy levels throughout the day.
* Focus on maintaining steady energy levels throughout the day. Lacking energy over the course of a typical day might be a byproduct of your eating habits beyond the breakfast table. Numerous studies have found that eating three large meals per day is not an effective way to maintain steady energy levels over the course of a typical day. Instead, smaller, more frequent meals coupled with healthy snacks can stabilize blood sugar levels and help maintain sufficient energy levels, improving both
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 9
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Journaling The J urney
by Judy Smith
“Life is something that happens to you while you’re making other plans.” ~ Margeret Millar Life is a marvelous journey that goes down many different paths. When I was a little girl, life was very rough according to the standards set by most of the other children my age. There were not many luxuries for me as the oldest child of five plus the fact that I was the only girl. Even though I did not get many, I loved dolls. When I did get a new one, it was not usually the one I was hoping for; the ones my cousins got. Theirs were the more expensive ones that you saw on TV; the ones all the other girls bragged about in school. However, I did love mine just the same and the play times we had were filled with imagination and wonder of the future. Yes, it was all planned out right down to the perfectly handsome husband, the 2.5 perfect children, a house with a white picket fence, along with one dog and one cat that never fought. Most of my play dates with my doll would be outside, atop a tree trunk for a table with buckets turned over for chairs. My tea set could be any number of things and sometimes I would be fortunate enough to have some mix match pieces that others had given me. Playing mommy was so much fun to me because I thought that was the most wonderful thing in the world to be. I would cook the most tasty “mud pies” in the world and my little girly doll would eat’um up and tell me what a wonderful mother I was. My perfect pretend husband, my girly dolls father, would come home to our perfect house and what a perfect family we were. It was pretend but I knew this is the way it was going to be when I grew up. I bet you are saying to yourself right now, “what dream world was she living in?” and yes it was a dream world. Life happened! A failed marriage happened, a shared family happened, a financial crisis happened, the cat and dog fought, my cooking still tastes like mud pies and cancer happened. Not one of those things was in my play book! Yet I am so blessed. A precious new friend who is facing a terrible battle with cancer just told me the other day that if one more person told her “that everything happens for a reason”, she was going to scream. There are probably a lot
of you who relate to that as well. I, myself, may have felt that way when I was younger, but being older, I have the advantage of looking back. Hindsight always has a better view. I do completely believe in my heart that everything works together for my good, even if I can’t see it at the time. Being subjected to child abuse, I can understand the trauma that others have gone through and sometimes, I can see the signs. Having alcoholic parents, I know how drinking can alter a person and the devastation it can cause in the home. After a failed marriage, I realize how there are always two sides to every story, how you can carry the guilt around of the things you did wrong and of how everyone was affected then and for the rest of their lives. When you are hit with the “c” word and your life changes forever and how cancer not only affects you, but everyone around you. I could choose bitterness but I can look back and see the amazing things that have sprung from bad things. A couple of months ago I heard a pastor say that because of trials we have gone through, we have opportunities that others cannot have. Now think about that for a minute. I never wanted cancer and I can’t say that I have been rejoicing over going to the hospital every single day, Monday thru Friday, being burned by the radiation and all the other things that go along with cancer. However, I have rejoiced over the opportunities to be kind to someone else, to smile at someone who looks like they lost their best friend and most of all to make new friends. I told my new friend that when people say things like that they are really trying to be kind. Most of the times they don’t know what to say but they want to tell you they care. Can I tell you, that most of the time you don’t need to say a word. Just give them a hug and let them know you are there. Before I close, I do have to say that I did get the handsome husband that takes such great care of me and still eats my food that tastes like mud and acts like he enjoys it. I did get the house but I found out that I really don’t like to paint those white picket fences!
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 11
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Change Your Mind So what have you always wanted to learn how to do? Many years ago I wanted to learn how to fly fish. I took lessons and was pretty good. I became an instructor. That is how I got my name FlyLady. I had always loved being outside. Fly fishing got me to North Carolina. I never dreamed that FLY would mean so much more than just a lure with feathers on a hook. I also wanted to learn how to make stained glass windows. I did that too. In fact I supported myself in both new skills. But with everything we SHEs do, we tend to go overboard and burn out after a few years. I have decided that at this time in my life that I can only do things that give me great joy. Our music library gives me inspiration every day and if I can’t figure out what to play, my sweet darling asks what my mood is and he picks something out for me. I have eclectic taste in music. My iTunes is on shuffle most days. One minute blue grass will be playing and the next minute there will be some hip hop. It makes for an interesting day. One of my favorite songs is from Ryan Shupe, called Dream Big. This past week I was introduced to a wonderful concept in a book by Wayne Dyer. The book is called Wishes Fulfilled. It is about tapping into our power by changing the way we talk to ourselves. This is not a new concept. Over the years this message has been handed to me many times. Starting with Disney and Jiminy Cricket singing, When You Wish Upon A Star. Then just a few years ago with Sister Hazel and their song Change Your Mind. Long before that I remember Rita Davenport telling me that what you think about you bring about in her motivational series called, It Time for You! I have even had this message come to me in a comic strip from Scott Adams. Even though it was a satire on the future the last three chapters got serious about how to change things in your life. Here is the fun part about all of this. When we slow down we can connect the dots. When we are going ninety miles an hour sometimes things get past us. I love it when I am able to decipher the God Breezes as they happen. Yesterday morning I picked up a new book to start my daily meditation. I read the dedication page and stopped reading. Here is what was quoted from an old saying, “He that would perfect himself in any art whatsoever, let him betake himself to the reading of some sure and certain work upon his are many times over; for to read many books upon your art produceth confusion rather than learning.”
I know I have discussed this many times. We pride ourselves in being able to multi-task. We have libraries of self-help books, yet we can’t seem to get anything accomplished. Because we have become so stressed out we do not take time to allow our minds to dream. We can’t even slow our brains down long enough to get eight hours of sleep. We have to find a way to tap into our minds and cut out the negative dialog with ourselves and fill our minds with positive messages to build us up! Kelly gave me a quote that was a real eye opener, “The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice.” ~Peggy O’Mara. Did someone’s ugly words become your inner voice? We can change all of this with a simple statement of love. I remember as a young child memorizing the Beatitudes for Vacation Bible School. I am giving you a similar assignment. Dr. Dyer calls them “I AM” statements. Nikki has been reading this book too and she came up with a positive “I AM” statement for herself with every letter of the alphabet. Then five minutes before you go to sleep pick one “I AM” statement and say it to yourself. Do not argue with yourself about the statement. Just say it. You are going to be pleased by the positivity you create. Focusing on the one statement is going to help you slow down your brain so you can sleep. Those restful hours of sleep are healing. Open up your wings and FLY by changing your thoughts.
For more help getting rid of your CHAOS, check out her website and join her free mentoring group at www.FlyLady.net or her book, Sink Reflections published by Random House and her New York Times Best Selling book, Body Clutter published by Simon and Schuster. Copyright 2012 Marla Cilley Used by permission in this publication.
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 13
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915 Tate Blvd SE Suites 164, 170 & 180, Hickory, NC 28602 pg 14 | Sophie Womanâ€™s Magazinewww.awomansview.com | October 2012
Do You Know How To Sit Down? by Mary Southerland
Today’s Truth Psalm 5:3 (NLT) “Listen to my voice in the morning, LORD. Each morning I bring my requests to you and wait expectantly.”
Friend to Friend I had a list of things to get done. Yes, my back was killing me and I was tired, but that list kept me hurrying around the house like the proverbial Energizer Bunny. When my husband walked in from work, I gave him a quick hug and resumed my almost frantic pace. “What are you doing, honey?” Dan asked. With one of my famous sighs, I responded, “I just need to get a few things done.” “How is your back?” Dan persisted. With growing irritation, I answered, “It hurts!” Dan watched me for a few minutes and then calmly stated, “You don’t know how to sit down, do you?” My first response was irritation which quickly escalated into anger – until I heard the unmistakable prompting of the Holy Spirit affirming the truth Dan had spoken. I needed to learn how to stop and sit down – and rest. But that list held me captive to unrealistic expectations in a ridiculous effort to prove my worth through what I did. It is an ongoing battle in my life. And I am not alone We all struggle with balance and the inevitable battle with stress that struggle creates. When we refuse to balance the sometimes overwhelming demands of work, home, family, friends, and personal growth, stress will be the natural result. What we really need is a holy balance only God can bring. The story of Mary and Martha, two very different women, offers valuable truths about balance that we can apply to our lives today. A balanced life is focused on right things. Focus is always found at the feet of Jesus. Mary lived out this truth. In fact, Mary, more than any other person in the New Testament is associated with sitting at the feet of Jesus. What does it mean to “sit at the feet of Jesus”? First, we must stop. Now that is a novel idea for most of us, isn’t it? Mary stopped what she was doing - helping Martha in the kitchen - and came to sit at the feet of Jesus. Of course, Martha immediately began complaining that she had been left to do all the work while her sister wasted time sitting at Jesus’ feet. Listen, girlfriend, there will always be someone who will misunderstand or complain when you choose to obey God and do what Jesus told Martha was “the better part.” Luke 10: 40-42 “But Martha was distracted by her many tasks; so she came to Him and asked, ‘Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to do all the work by myself? Tell her then to help me.’ But the Lord answered her, ‘Martha, Martha, you are worried and distracted by many things; there is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part, which will not be taken away from her.’‘’ Mary made a choice and so must we. Choosing to sit at the feet of Jesus requires decisive planning, purposeful scheduling and a willful determination. Every day, God wants relationship building time with us, which means that time at His feet, in His presence must be our highest priority. Jesus gently rebuked Martha because she had forgotten what was most important.
It is amazing to me how I can squander away the best part of my day, leaving God with the leftover scraps of time and then have the audacity to complain that my life is void of power and purpose. Distractions come from every side. Some of those distractions are good and wonderful things, but they are all still wrong things if they keep us from stopping to spend time with God. We make daily choices about where we invest our time as we run errands, plan meals, deal with children, clean house, and do laundry - but fail to schedule the most important activity of all, spending time with God. I absolutely hate to wait, on anyone or for anything. I tend to view waiting as a thief that robs me of control and forces me to face the unknown. However, waiting on God brings priorities into a right focus and releases the catalyst that may very well change my life course. Waiting is not a passive loss of time. Waiting is active spiritual obedience. In each waiting room of life, He is at work preparing me for the circumstances ahead. Psalm 5:3 (NLT) “Listen to my voice in the morning, LORD. Each morning I bring my requests to you and wait expectantly.” From those still, quiet moments of waiting and seeking comes a balance and focus that takes root and grows. It is through the choice to wait on God that the seeking heart – the expectant heart finds every need met. Are you desperate for the peace and a balance only God can provide? Then it’s time to stop, take inventory of the demands upon your time, and begin investing the best part of your day sitting at His feet. Being wrapped up in God’s work can easily become a shabby substitute for being wrapped up in His presence, and we can only be wrapped up in God’s presence when we learn to sit at His feet and wait on Him.
Let’s Pray Father, I am really tired of trying to prove my worth by what I do. I am tired of being responsible for everyone’s happiness – a burden you never intended me to carry. I want to let go of everything except the things You have for me to do. Why is it so hard for me to do that, Lord? Help me learn to see my worth in Your eyes alone. Give me the strength to stop and rest in You, knowing Your love is unconditional and does not depend on what I do or don’t do. Thank You for loving me, Father. Please help me to live a life that reflects that love. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Now It’s Your Turn Read and memorize the following verses: Mark 1:35 “Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place where He prayed.” Psalm 23:1-3 “The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.He makes me lie down in green pastures, He leads me beside quiet waters; He refreshes my soul.” List three ways you can apply these verses to your life in the area of sitting at the feet of Jesus. 1. __________________________________________ 2. __________________________________________ 3. __________________________________________
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 15
Hula Hoop Exercises 1. Exercise Number One- Rainbow with Hula Hoop This exercise targets the hips and thighs. Lying on your side while you move will help you develop a good bit of core strength as well.
by Sharon Rashidi B.S. Health Education
Owner of The Perfect Workout
HULA-HOOP PILATES Fall brings many changes. Kids are back in school, leaves change color, temperatures begin to fall and days shorten. This transition from summer to winter sneaks in slowly, as can an exercise rut. When you are stuck in a rut, and no longer seeing progress, it’s important to figure out how to get out the slump and back on track. The change of seasons is an excellent time to “trick” the body by adding some new twists to your workout. Although I have taught many different forms of aerobic classes throughout the years, I never really did see a change in my body until I started practicing Pilates. From the breathing techniques and muscle toning to the overall flexibility and core strengthening, Pilates is the one class that will make a difference. The basic principles of Pilates include breathing, concentration, control precision and flow. The breathing in Pilates is in through the nose and out through the mouth. It is a forceful breath as if you are trying to blow out candles on a cake. Concentration involves giving full attention to the exercise and doing it with full commitment. This will insure maximum values will be obtained from each movement. Every Pilate’s exercise is done with complete muscular control and is kept within the frame of the body. Precision is essential for correct form in Pilate’s exercises. It is better to do one precise and perfect Pilates exercise with good form than doing several half-heartedly. Lastly, Pilate’s exercises are done with a flowing manner. Fluidity, grace and ease are goals applied to all exercises. If you’re in an exercise rut, it’s time to mix things up. Throw a new or different activity into the mix every other day or a couple days a week. Recently, I have been incorporating a hula- hoop to provide light resistance in my Pilates exercise program. Added to the workout, a hulahoop enhances almost any exercise. It can be held between the ankles or thighs during the Pilates Hundred to give an inner-thigh and pelvic floor component while deepening the abdominal work. You can use it instead of a bar in your Roll-ups to add an isometric arm exercise. It can also be used on its own for countless isometric toning exercises for both the upper and lower body. This fall, take your usual routine and change it to challenge yourself and make it more fun. Grab a hula- hoop, a mat and follow my HulaHoop Pilates exercises to help shake up your routine and get you back on your fitness track.
pg 16 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | October 2012
Step One- Lie on your side in a straight line from ankle to ear. Then, move your straight leg slightly in front so that you are in a banana shape. This will position will help to protect your back. You may keep your head down on your outstretched arm or hold it upright. Step Two- Hold your hula-hoop upright and place it under your lower leg just above the ankle bone. Begin with your top leg stretched out in the middle of the hula hoop. Inhale and trace an arc along the rim of the hula hoop. Exhale, and without touching the floor, trace an arc going in the opposite direction. Tips- Repeat 6-8 times and work your way up to 10. Change sides and repeat exercise. Make sure your abdominals are engaged and lifted. Your rib cage should be lifted as well and not allowed to sink toward the floor. Legs are straight but not locked. 2. Exercise Number Two- Hula Hoop Hundred This exercise requires your legs to be in the air so it is very effective for strengthening the abdominal and core region. Step One- Lie on your back and lift your upper and lower body up 45 degrees so that your body makes a “V” shape. Hold the Hula Hoop between your ankles with your legs straight.
Step Two- Hold your arms to your sides with your palms down. Keep your neck straight in line with your spine. Gaze should be down towards your belly. Flutter your arms up and down as you connect the breath to your rhythm.
Tips- Remember to breathe in through your nose 5 quick sniffs and out through your mouth another 5 quick sniffs. This count of 10 total sniffs completes one set, repeat 10 times to equal 100 flutters. If doing 100 flutters with your arms is too hard, start with 20 and work up.
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ehind ame the A Short Look At Influential Women In History by Kaylyn McCarraher
Proverbs 23:5- When you set your eyes on it, it is gone. For wealth certainly makes itself wings like an eagle that flies toward the heavens.
As humans, we are notoriously known to be creatures of habit. Once we become set in our ways or fixated on one particular thing we tend to stick with it. Sometimes our habits or fixations change. The change isn’t necessarily easy but none the less change happens. However, there are certain aspects within each creature that cannot be wavered. For example, my brother loves fire fighting. Many things in his life change but that is something that will remain a constant; it is his calling. I’ve mentioned the importance of a “call from God” before in my previous articles; these are the unchangeable aspects. We may be called to do several different things in our lives but each area that we “touch” becomes a part of us, my father talks about this when he tells of his days in the Marine Corps. These are our unchangeables. With that being said, Amelia Earhart had a very distinct, strong and unchangeable aspect to her. She was made with a special pair of wings that no one could see, not even her, until the day came when she fell in love with airplanes. She was almost 20 years old when she became truly fascinated with steel birds. She attended a stunt flying exhibition where a pilot played a joke on Amelia and her friend and dove his plane towards them. Amelia stood firm. Legend has it that when the plane flew by her it spoke to her and later on she knew she was meant to fly. Of course, being called to do something doesn’t mean it comes packaged with an easy road to get there. Amelia attended a woman’s finishing school after high school but left during her second year to become a nurse’s aide during WW1. Afterwards, she attended college and became a social worker. The gravitational pull that flying had on her had not weakened; within six months of working she had saved up enough money to buy a personal plane. Amelia was a woman doing a “man’s job”. She faced plenty of opposition but that did nothing but inspire her to set and break aviation records. Amelia flew higher, flew longer, and flew more bravely than others before her. She eventually became the first woman to fly
solo across the Atlantic Ocean in history. As if that wasn’t enough, she became the first person to fly the Pacific solo from Honolulu to Oakland. Amelia had flown dozens of times but for her 40th birthday she wanted to do something special. She felt that she had one last good flight left in her. She wanted to fly around the entire Earth. On June 1st Amelia and her navigator, Fred Noonan, departed from Miami and began their journey. This was the last time anyone would ever see them. July 2nd of 1937 was the last time Earhart would be heard from. Her report said that they’re gas was running low and that they were flying at 1,000 ft. There ends the story. It is unknown what happened to Mrs. Amelia Earhart but one thing is for certain; she left behind a legacy. Before she left for her final trip she wrote her husband a letter. It read, “I want to do it because I want to do it. Women must try to do things as men have tried. When they fail, their failure must be but a challenge to others.” Amelia knew what she was doing and why she didn’t come back, God only knows. That’s the beautiful part of all of this. The great I AM knows Amelia by name and exactly how her story went. After all, He wrote it. I mentioned people like my brother, my father and Amelia because all have been given an uncertain, unchangeable aspect to complete their uniqueness. Each one of them, amongst others, were/are given a call that’s asks them to do things that do not guarantee that they will be coming back home. Similar to what Christ did for us. He knew he had to go. God had created him for a purpose; just he has done with each one of us. However, some of us are designed to give “some” and some are designed to “give it all”. Christ gave it all for us; God gave his only son for us. Now, it is our job it give it all for him and do whatever it is he has called us to do. He has put the ball in our court.
“The Official Website of Amelia Earhart.” The Official Website of Amelia Earhart. N.p., n.d. Web. 15 Aug. 2012. <http://www.ameliaearhart.com/about/bio.html>
Hello everyone! I am Kaylyn McCarraher and I am spending this summer here with all of you as an intern for Sophie Woman’s Magazine. I am a sophomore at Western Carolina University as well as a Golden Leaf Scholar which lead me to this amazing opportunity. Behind the Name is my little contribution to Sophie which takes a deeper look into the lives of history’s most inspirational women. I hope you all enjoy!
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 19
Adult Children of Aging Parents by Frances S. Hall
Every year on my birthday, I send Mom pink roses. While the day is mine, it is her “birthing day”. How fitting that the backdrop for our Mother’s Day photo would be pink roses. The day was picture-perfect. Blue skies provided a canopy, and the air’s cool warmth told of early May. The photo would be a commemoration of mother and daughter, an acknowledgement that, even in the midst of flailing against ravages of aging and struggling to slow time’s hands, the love between us is real and permanent, forever and always, even if “always” doesn’t necessarily translate into seeing things similarly. The photo would be a snapshot of a bond that is unshakable, testimony to the experiences we have shared through the years and a hope for sweet moments to come. As our friend-photographer began creating her art, Mom metamorphosed from annoyed into playful, from irritated into lighthearted, from hesitant into glorious. Radiant in her long, flowing skirt, poise and playfulness belying her age, she looked almost regal as she held court with the camera, nature and loved ones. She was captivating and lovely. Once again, she was the star of a marvelous show. Life at almost-93 is rarely easy. Moving from Alabama to North Carolina three years ago – deciding to leave the home in which she grew up and lived most of her life to relocate to an area where she knew These photos were shot for Mother’s no one but my husband and me – has been Day 2012 by Christle Teague. extraordinarily hard for one who was the matriarch of the community and friend, “mother”, “grandmother” to so many. While physical needs are provided for in a retirement community, emotional aches are profound. Finding footing in her new worlds of advanced-maturity and unaccustomed residence has been overwhelming, consuming and unrelentingly difficult. There is no way to restore the spring in the step, or to travel again with ease, the familiar, well-worn paths to friends. Losses and change seem to be everyday occurrences. But the meaning of the day was unmistakable, a gift of what is, even at this point in the journey. A love and care between mother and daughter … safety and beauty in surroundings … recognition of ability to see, hear, speak, comprehend and move independently … acknowledgement of capacity to be and to do … the precious gift of life lived in abundance. It was a day of gratitude – for the relationship, for daily gifts and for opportunity to love through challenges.
pg 20 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | October 2012
Things You Should Consider If you are between the ages of 45 and 65 or 70, you are possibly a caregiver for a parent, whether he/she lives near you or some distance away. There can be a sweetness and joy caring for one who is so special to you. But caregiving can also bring intense challenges as parents look to an adult-child (or children) for assistance the parent never wanted to need. Adult-child caregiving can tap hidden insecurities, surface unresolved family struggles and compromise a career and financial future. And, often, the parent/child “role reversal” is in full-swing while you – the adult-child – are still in the throes of attending to your own children. More than 15 million adult-children in the US are currently caring for an aging parent. Adult-child caregiving takes all forms -- from offering support and assistance long-distance to the intense 24/7/365, hands-on care. Responsibilities and challenges vary. Many adult-children don’t see themselves as caregivers – they simply do what’s needed and expected. While there are similarities in adult-child caregiving today as in yesteryear, there are also marked differences. Although women are still the overwhelming majority of family caregivers, those who grew up in the 1960’s, ‘70’s and beyond, define themselves differently than previous generations. Across the board, women are better educated, and careers outside the home have been a priority in their lives. Marriage and children have been postponed, if at all, and, unlike their mothers for whom caregiving represented their principal occupation, babyboomer caregivers often define themselves through work, volunteer and other social responsibilities. The impact of fractured families, societal transience and awareness of caregiving’s financial, emotional, physical and relational tolls make a significant difference in caring for an aging parent today. The typical adult-child caregiver works outside the home while providing an average of 20 hours per week caring for a parent. Caring for a parent with dementia doubles those hours. Particularly during a difficult economic era, adult-child caregivers are reluctant to take time away from work for caregiving responsibilities, feeling their job may be in jeopardy. Often they forego career advancement. One in five, however, find they must stop work, at least temporarily, because of caregiving demands, compromising their current and future (retirement) financial health. Annual lost productivity costs the workforce more than $20 billion, and financial consequences on the individual caregiver in loss of wages, pension and Social Security benefits are estimated at more than $300,000. Adult-child caregivers often are overlooked as a group in need of information, resources and support. Adult Children of Aging Parents and Prime Life Ed-Ventures, programs of the Women’s Resource Center in Hickory, are designed to address issues, concerns and interests of women and men in mid-life and beyond. For more information, please go to www.wrchickory.com or call (828) 322-6333. In addition, your Area Agency on Aging, Department of Social Services, Chamber of Commerce, hospitals and hospice/palliative care organizations offer excellent assistance and support. When you want/need help, please contact the most appropriate for you.
Written By: Frances S. Hall Founder, Adult Children of Aging Parents
Program Chair & President-Elect, Women’s Resource Center, Hickory, NC
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(828) 322-1535 pg 22 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | October 2012
Sophisticated Women... By Nicole Greer, PPCC Founder and Principle Coach at Vibrant Coaching
Have you noticed how noisy the world is? Everywhere I go there are a myriad of communication transmissions trying to fill my mind. The cacophony comes at me relentlessly. There is music blaring, multiple TV’s emitting noise, cell phones ringing, cars alarms beeping, and commentary…unending commentary at every turn. With all this messaging and media bombarding me (and I assume you too), I find that you and I are fatigued mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and even physically. All the input our system takes on creates overwhelm. A space is needed to digest and discern what we have seen and heard. We need to be listened to so we can process our next right steps. What is a sophisticated woman to do? A sophisticated woman knows how to create space that allows those around her to process and comprehend what is really going on in their lives. Through the law of reciprocity, the sophisticated woman develops relationships where she too is heard and provided a listening ear. Through active listening and a conscious exchange of ideas and ideals, she can help herself and others unfold. Brenda Ueland has written about what a “great and powerful thing that listening is.” In her writing she gives this beautiful reason for slowing down on purpose to listen and seek someone out to listen to us. Brenda shares, “When we are listened to, it creates us, makes us unfold and expand. Ideas actually begin to grow within us and come to life. You know how if a person laughs at your jokes you become funnier and funnier, and if she does not, every tiny little joke in you weakens up and dies. Well that is the principle of it. It makes people happy and free when they are listened to. And if you are listener, it is the secret of having a good time in society (because everybody around you becomes lively and interesting), of comforting people, doing them good.” A sophisticated woman is alert to the fact that she can intentionally provide an environment where she is heard and those around her, those she loves (and perhaps even more importantly those she doesn’t love or understand) can be heard. Active listening, coined by Thomas Gordon the founder of PET (Parent Effectiveness Training) created this outline to create a sacred listening space. His work has been published in communication textbooks for years. This process is renowned for it’s effectiveness. Steps to Active Listening: • First, the aim is to simply listen to the person who needs to be heard. Remove distractions and seek solace. You listen for context. You listen to understand. You listen as a service to
the speaker. You listen because something wonderful happens when others are listened to…they unfold and become more of themselves. In essence, we ‘hold’ the speaker with our ears, our mind, and our heart as an act of love. • Second, the aim is to repeat back to the speaker what you heard them say. Seek to understand what perspective they are ‘standing’ in. Empathize with what the speaker is saying. Mirror their statements. Then ask, “Did I hear that right?” • Third, find something to champion in what they share. Championing is acknowledging the intelligence, the spiritedness, or the character you see in the other person. Let them see that what they think is important and encourage them to think about what their next right steps might be. • Finally, ask questions instead of trying to tell, advise, or ‘fix’ the other person. In my coaching practice, I use the technique of asking Vibrant Questions. A Vibrant Question energizes dialogue and sheds light on the possibilities. Through asking an open-ended, honest and curious question, you are inviting the other person to look at what you’ve heard is possible in their life while challenging them to take an action that will make it probable. We all have what Brenda Ueland calls a “creative fountain” within us. We need a sophisticated woman in our lives to create a space where we are listened to so our ideas, which ultimately impact our future, can begin to bubble up from within us. So, who needs you to listen to them? When will you create a sacred place where you’ll lean in and actively listen them into life? I am sure you have a friend, a child, a husband, or a co-worker you could serve as an active listener? Let’s get started.
At its deepest level, working with a coach frees you to indentify your birthright gifts, discern your deepest passions, and fulfill your highest purpose. A coach can pry you off dead center. As Principal Coach for Vibrant Coaching and Workshop Leader for The Lydia Group, LLC, a collaboration of individuals focused on work, life and spiritual growth, Nicole is on a mission to impact, energize, and influence people to lead a Vibrant Life by engaging the possibilities. As a life and business coach and workshop leader, Nicole views her role as a conduit to release all that you want to achieve. Join me on the PATH to move forward with authenticity, skill and confidence. www.thevibrantcoach.com/www.thelydiagroup.com
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 23
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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 25
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pg 26 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | October 2012
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Are emotions your biggest stress inducers? Many may not know that October is Emotional Wellness Month. When you feel out of sorts emotionally, it can wreak havoc on your physical well being with the stress that naturally manifests when feeling emotionally drained, spent, exhausted, frustrated, confused, to name a few. But the question to answer is: Could you be your own worst stressor when it comes to your emotional reactions and responses to various situations? I realized more clearly how my emotional reactions were affecting my own state of well being after reading a book by the name, The Four Agreements, by Don Miguel Ruiz. I read the book in one day, New Year’s Day, eight years ago, and it opened my eyes to a better way of thinking and being, directly empowering me with regard to my emotions. What are the Four Agreements and what do emotions have to do with them? Based on ancient Toltec knowledge, the Agreements are the four underlying wisdoms realized by the Toltec civilization to be universally essential to living a life of joy and happiness. The Toltecs believed that you could realize your own “heaven on earth” through embracing these four basic agreements, as they had proven their worthiness and universal value over centuries. These are not agreements with others, but agreements you make with yourself. In essence, you are making a commitment to yourself, holding yourself accountable to abide by these agreements for yourself and your well being because of the important role you play directly and indirectly in the lives of others. The Toltecs believed that a civilization’s foundation was built on how each individual conducted him or herself in their reactions to and relations with others. The idea that we are all connected and can positively or negatively impact one another means that how we conduct ourselves is essential to realizing true harmony. And now you can see how emotions are front and center. It is how we relate and react to others and situations involving others that typically put our emotions in a tail spin, on an unexplainable high, or into depths of despair, worry, or depression. We also react to ourselves in ways that makes our emotions swing high and low affecting others in the process. Agreement #1: Be impeccable with your word – This agreement is the most important and also the most difficult one to honor. Why? The key word in this agreement is “impeccable.” It means that you speak in a manner that is thoughtful, not thoughtless. Words are spoken with kindness and consideration. You take responsibility for your actions without judgment or blame. It is speaking of others with respect, openness and acceptance. Gossiping is not being impeccable. Being impeccable means you use the energy of your words in the direction of truth and love for yourself and others. Agreement #2: Don’t take anything personally – Wow! This is a hard one for so many of us. Why? Because we’re human. And we also have egos. Whether we want to claim this to be a fact or not, our egos take control whenever a situation arises that we feel offended, attacked,
hurt, disappointed, and the list goes on. We take a person’s comment personally. We can even take a person’s demeanor or silence personally. And sometimes we internalize it as if we did something wrong. And yet, had we taken even the slightest step back and taken ourselves out of the equation for a nanosecond, we may just realize that it really wasn’t about us at all. So many things contribute to what others do and say. If we can agree not to take things personally, then oftentimes we can get to real answers, solutions and by asking questions, even help someone versus judging them. Agreement #3: Don’t make assumptions – Albert Einstein said, “Logic will get you from A to B; imagination can take you everywhere.” Having an imagination is a true gift when you use it for good, for inspiration, for creating and exploring options and opportunities. However, our imaginations can work against us when we allow our thoughts to lead us to assume the worst, either in another person or in a future event. Making assumptions can sometimes be based on past experiences. Making assumptions can be based on something we have been taught or were told as a child or even recently. Worry is a form of using our imagination in assuming the worst is about to happen. Agreement #4: Always do your best – The best part about this agreement is how the author explained what “always do your best” really means. He wrote, “Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick … but as you build the habits of the four agreements, your best will become better than is used to be.” This made a great deal of sense to me. Why? Because when you are being impeccable with your word, no longer taking things personally, and no longer making assumptions, your mind is free to focus and explore the immense opportunities before you. Your physical energy is continuously revitalized by the peace, joy and contentment you feel inside on a regular basis. You are seeing the best possibilities and therefore, taking doing your best to another level. What I most appreciated about reading The Four Agreements was how positive it was to the reader, versus chastising. This wasn’t a “shame on you” read, but a “you can be all that you hoped you can be” read. And that is an emotional high we all deserve to know in our lifetime.
Bio: Sherré DeMao inspires millions through her monthly columns, weekly Insight eZine and national contributing writing. An expert strategist and marketer focused on entrepreneurs, her unique perspective and innovative approach has earned numerous awards regionally, nationally and internationally including being named among the Top 50 Enterprising Women of North America in 2007. Her books, Me, Myself & Inc. (www.memyselfandinc.com) and 50 Marketing Secrets (www.50marketingsecrets.com) have received national acclaim as Top Business Shelf picks and must reads.
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 27
Join us for our Signature Chefs Auction October 25, 2012 6:00 p.m. Rock Barn Golf and Spa, Conover, NC The March of Dimes Signature Chefs Auction is a gourmet extravaganza and auction, which pays tribute to some of the finest chefs and restaurants in the NC Foothills Area. These outstanding participants will prepare a culinary array of their unique specialties for event guests. In addition, live and silent auctions will offer a variety of items, including travel, entertainment and dining packages. Multiple partnership opportunities are available offering maximum exposure through event publicity and the evening of the event to 300+ attendees. Companies that choose to donate items or services to be auctioned at the event will receive recognition in the event program.
Attendees are Influencers ages 35 to 60, corporate executives and community leaders. Attendees are opinion leaders, generous givers and tend to be highly involved in their community. 75% are married and 85% are college graduates with an average household income of $100,000 to $500,000. March of Dimes is the #1 recognized charity by moms. Moms are the CEOs of their household and make 90% of the buying decisions. March of Dimes is a non-profit health organization whose mission is to improve the health of babies by preventing birth defects, premature birth and infant mortality. Through research, education, advocacy and community grants we are working toward the day every family will experience the joy of a healthy baby!
In an Average Week in North Carolina… 2,350 babies are born
334 babies are born preterm 22 babies die before their 1st birthday
1 in every 30 babies is born with a serious birth defect. This number increases significantly when miscarriages, still birth and terminations are taken into account. Employer healthcare costs increase 300% when a baby is born preterm or with a birth defect. March of Dimes currently funds over $5.7 Million in North Carolina in research, community grants, education and programs. Local Grants are available to organizations in the Catawba Valley area.
Contact the March of Dimes office at 828-464-8905 or email@example.com marchofdimes.com/northcarolina everywomannc.com Broyhill Center Sophie Ad_Layout 1 7/16/12 10:05 AM Page 1
J.E. Broyhill Civic Center’s
Showcase of Stars 2
Dailey & Vincent ............................................Fri./Sept. 28 Darrell Scott ..................................................Sat./Oct. 20 Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom ....Sun./Nov. 4 (3 pm) FPA’s “It’s a Wonderful Life” ............Thurs.-Sat./Dec. 6-8 Sun./Dec. 9 (3 pm) The Water Coolers ........................................Sat./Jan. 19 Elliot Engels’ “The Rise and Fall of F. Scott Fitzgerald”....Mon./Jan. 28 Live at Birdland............................................Thurs./Feb. 7 Vienna Boys Choir ....................................Thurs./Feb. 28 Caldwell Traditional Musicians Showcase ..Sat./Mar. 16 The Gibson Brothers ........................................Fri./Apr. 5 Marty Stuart ....................................................Sat./May 4 All shows begin at 7:30 pm unless otherwise noted. Events subject to change without notice.
JE Broyhill Civic Center 1913 Hickory Blvd., Lenoir, NC Box Office 726-2407
Mon.-Fri., 10 am - 4 pm
pg 28 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | October 2012
Maybe you can’t see the difference you make. Perhaps you do it only because a friend asked you to. Or simply to feel a part of something bigger than yourself. But when you do it, you change the world. And even if you can’t see it, millions affected by breast cancer most certainly do. So, please, join in the Komen Race for the Cure® by registering for the Race or making a pledge, today!
October 27, 2012 Lenoir Rhyne University komenncfoothills.org
©2012 Susan G. Komen for the Cure®
We Are More Than A Race NC Foothills Affiliate of Susan G. Komen for the Cure®
When most people think of the Susan G Komen for the Cure®, at least locally, they think about the Komen Race for the Cure®. While our Race is our signature fundraiser and our largest source of funding, it is not all that we do in our community. The NC Foothills Affiliate of the Susan G. Komen for the Cure® has an active education committee. It works with local hospitals and other organizations to provide programs on early detection and support for women diagnosed with cancer. One of the earliest projects was the Little Pink Ribbon Book which provides educational and resource information for newly diagnosed breast cancer patients. In its third edition, it is provided free to physician offices, hospitals, organizations, and individuals. Another activity is Scouting for the Cure. This program combines education and crafts to allow girl scouts and their mothers to learn about breast cancer as well as to create items for themselves and local breast cancer patients/survivors. Educational sporting events, such as Volley for the Cure®, provide an educational component with a tribute to mothers. Another event that honors mothers is, our Pink Sundays that are held each year in May. Women in the participating churches receive a packet of educational information and a message to remind them of how important they are to us. Our annual survivors’ luncheon not only honors our survivors, but provides information on a survivorship issue. This year’s luncheon in August focused on the importance of exercise during and after treatment. Our greatest contribution to our community involves our grant process. Since our conception in 1999, we have granted over 1.2 million dollars in our affiliate area of Burke, Caldwell, and Catawba counties. In April of this year, we granted $160,000 to eight local agencies for breast cancer awareness, education, screening, and treatment. This spring we also sent $45,088.95 to the Susan G. Komen for the Cure® Grants Program to fund cutting-edge research. Research is our only hope of ever creating a world without breast cancer. Whether you register for our Race or make a donation to our affiliate, you are changing the world. Even if you can’t see a change, millions of breast cancer survivors can. Join us at our Race on Saturday, October 27 at Lenoir Rhyne University. Online registration is open until October 10 for team members and October 24 for individuals. In person registration on race day is also available. Visit our website www.komenncfoothills.org to register or for more information.
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 29
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pg 30 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | October 2012
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“Something Old, Something New” Add Character To Your Home
by Susan Guest, ASID
alking the “Freedom Trail” in Boston recently, I could easily imagine living in the days when our nation was forming. Sitting in the Old North Church, tracing the steps of Paul Revere’s famous ride, eating at “Ye Olde Union Oyster House”-the oldest operating restaurant in the country, and climbing aboard the USS Constitution, were highlights of the trail. Climbing up the steep, narrow, brick sidewalks of Beacon Hill was a designers’ adventure. Federal-style row houses with gas-lights lined both sides of the streets. Famous residents here included (or still include) Daniel Webster, Edward Kennedy, John Kerry, John Hancock, and Robert Frost, among the list of many others. My favorite part of vacation always includes strolling through the oldest areas of a city -whether it be Prague, Charleston, New Orleans, London or Asheville. I try to read historical novels or books that offer background information on the area or an impression of life there now or in the past. I feel like these studies make me a both a better designer and person. How does all this apply to you? I think every room should have at least one old (or old-looking) item-whether it is a family heirloom or something purchased at a yard sale. The piece does not have to be expensive or stuffy. It might be an old drugstore sign that you hang on your screened porch. You might frame a piece of lace that great Aunt Shirley crocheted and display it in a bookcase. A carved or painted trunk that you purchased at a flea market can serve as a coffee table in your family room. Even the most modern rooms can instantly have more depth and character with a touch of history. A sleek, modern, leather sofa gets an instant face-lift when paired with an antique rug. If sections of the rug are damaged or moth-eaten, consider making pillows from the good sections. These will add color , texture, and contrast to the leather. In the past, I have worked on a house that was built in 1775, several Victorian homes, and a Frank Lloyd Wright inspired abode. Each of these homes has stories to tell of the times and personalities of those who once lived there. If you live in a fairly new home with no architectural details or character, you can add pizzazz with just a few changes. These are some ideas that might make your space more interesting and beautiful: • An old (or old-looking) tapestry can fill a long wall up a stairway or over a sofa.
• Lace panels in a bedroom or bath can add charm and some privacy. A shade mounted behind these can be pulled when complete privacy is needed. • A piece of carved molding can be hung over a door, on a mantle, or anywhere that needs interest. • Stained glass can be hung in a kitchen or bath window-giving privacy, but allowing light to enter the room. • Old doors can be used in many ways: as an entry way to a garden, hung on a wall for drama, for closet entries, or turned sideways over two pedestals as a table. Doors can also be joined together forming a screen or made into a free-standing room divider. • A collection of hats from your favorite era can add drama to a hallway or guest bedroom. • Refinish or paint old furniture from your basement (or someone else’s). • An old pie safe adds character and storage for garden equipment on a covered porch. • Antique door knobs attached to a piece of wood can be used to hang coats or hats. • Old piano sheet music or dress patterns can be framed and arranged into an interesting wall display. • A claw-footed tub adds drama to a bath. • Antique quilts folded at the foot of a bed give your home a cozy feel and can be used for naps. • Mantles found at a salvage yard might be the perfect focal point for a room. Use your imagination! You probably have some family treasures in your basement or attic waiting to help a boring room. Add something old to your new décor and you will be amazed at the results! Susan Guest, ASID is an award-winning interior designer in Hickory and owner of Guest Interiors, LLC. She is one of the designers featured in “Spectacular Homes of the Carolinas”, found in high-end bookstores around the country. For more information, visit www.guestinteriors.com.
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 31
Common SpaCe BanditS
by Maria Gracia
Seeking less stress and more space? Here are 5 common space bandits that can take your space captive. Rally today, and get that space back! Clothes If you’re like most people, the clothes you wear on a day-to-day basis come from a mere 20 percent of the clothes in your closet. In other words, 80 percent of those clothes are just taking up space and never worn. Go through your closet and remove jeans, sweaters, blouses, skirts, dresses, shoes and coats that you never wear. Donate them today. Your closet will be ready to store any outfits you feel wonderful wearing, and you’ll be helping out someone who could be making use of those unused garments. Appliances Bread machines, juicers, griddles, mixers and other similar appliances are wonderful--if you use them. However, if you have some, or all, of these appliances, and you haven’t used them in, conservatively speaking, a year, chances are, they’ll never be used in your lifetime. Say goodbye to them today, and you’ll be freeing up cabinet and counter space.
Magazines Do you keep every single magazine that enters your home? If you do, you most likely have a few piles growing throughout your home or office. Try to go through your magazines and cut out and file, only the articles or recipes, etc. that most interest you. No sense in keeping the entire magazine, once you’ve read through it and have chosen those pages that you’d like to keep for future reference. Mementos While it’s fine to keep some very meaningful things stashed away in a mementos box, if you’ve accumulated more than one or two boxes of these treasures, you may be going a bit overboard. Being sentimental is wonderful, but not when it’s at the expense of your living space or storage space. Go through these boxes of stuff from time to time, and weed out the things that no longer have significant meaning to you. Commit to 1-2 boxes at the most, and you’ll have lots of memories to look back on in the future, and lots of new space Now!TM Furniture Is your home or apartment filled to the max with furniture you never use? Perhaps it was passed down from a loved one? Or maybe you recently made a move to a smaller place, but brought all of your big furniture with you. If it’s not functional or you truly don’t have the space for it, consider letting go. Imagine all the free space you’ll have when it’s gone By Maria Gracia - Get Organized Now!TM
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pg 32 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | October 2012
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Recipes for ife
by Emily Wickham
Food for the Body
Mom’s Apple Pie (Recipe on page 37, American Pie by Teresa Kennedy) 1 recipe Pie Crust* 1 cup sugar 2 Tbsp. all-purpose flour 2 generous tsp. ground cinnamon ¾ tsp. ground nutmeg 3 ½ cups peeled, cored, and sliced McIntosh apples (about 4-5 apples) 3 cups peeled, cored, and sliced Granny Smith apples (about 4 apples) 2 Tbsp. lightly salted butter ½ cup heavy or whipping cream 1. Prepare pie crust dough and divide into two equal portions. On a well floured surface, roll out half the dough to a thickness of 1/8 inch. Ease it gently into a 9-inch pie pan; trim the overhang to ¾ inch. Set it aside. Roll out the remaining dough to a thickness of 1/16 inch and set it aside. 2. Preheat oven to 400 degrees. 3. Combine the sugar, flour, and spices in a large bowl. Add the apple slices and toss until they are well coated. Fill crust with the apple slices and dot them with butter. Ease the top crust over the filled bottom crust; trim the overhang to ¾ inch. Fold the top crust over the bottom. Crimp to seal the edges. Cut slits in the top crust to allow steam to escape. 4. Bake for 1 hour, or until the crust is golden and the apples test done. 5. Turn off the oven and remove pie. Gently pour the cream through the slits in the crust. Return pie to the oven and leave it there until the oven is nearly cool, about 20 minutes. Serve immediately. Note: I omit the heavy/whipping cream and step #5. Pie can be served immediately or after it has cooled. *Crisco Pie Crust 2 cups flour 1 tsp. salt ¾ cup Crisco shortening 5 Tbsp. cold water Mix dry ingredients together and blend Crisco in with fingertips. Add water, one tablespoon at a time, stirring with a fork after each addition. Dough will be very moist. Follow the directions listed above in step #1.
A Prayer For God’s Blessing Loving Father in heaven, You are pure in heart and perfect in all Your ways. I confess I usually resist the trials You place in my life instead of rejoicing in the positive results You intend. Thank You for faithfully working within me to make me more like Your Son, Jesus Christ. Please strengthen me to suffer for Your glory. In Jesus’ holy name, Amen.
Food for the Soul I love autumn—the brightly colored leaves and crisp, cool air. Fires in the fireplace or campfires in the backyard add warmth inside and out. Fall festivals abound with handcrafts and fun activities. Dessert menus often include apple pie, which in my home means making, baking, and serving “Mom’s Apple Pie” to my family’s delight. Of course, vanilla ice cream on top is non-negotiable. But what would an apple pie taste like if it lacked baking? This crucial step results in the exceptional flavor and tender texture found in every slice. If the baking process was neglected, apple pie just wouldn’t be apple pie. It would remain a combination of tasty—yet raw—ingredients. Unfinished … not very appetizing. In the spiritual realm, every Christian goes through a sort of “baking” process throughout life. We undergo various trials and difficulties, which God uses to make us who we are … to make us more like Christ. These experiences aren’t enjoyable, yet they’re necessary. Honestly, we’d almost always refuse them if we could. But God wisely and sovereignly implements hardship into the life of every Christian for His higher purpose. He knows suffering accomplishes His work within us in ways other tools cannot. When we submit to God under His mighty hand (see I Peter 5:6), we emerge more Christ-like and representative of His character. Scripture provides an analogy of this truth in Proverbs 17:3— “The refining pot is for silver and the furnace for gold, But the LORD tests hearts.” God is interested in purifying our hearts, and sometimes this involves suffering a trial. Even the Lord Jesus suffered when He lived on earth. “Although He was a Son, He learned obedience from the things which He suffered” (Hebrews 5:8). In light of inevitable trials and suffering, Romans 8:28 offers encouragement by stating, “And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.” He uses everything—even trials—to mature and complete us. As we surrender to Him, we can joyfully anticipate meeting Christ face to face. Rather than being an “unfinished” Christian, we’ll bear Christ’s likeness because of God’s faithful work within us.
Until next time, that’s a Recipe for Life …
Emily Wickham, published author, speaker, and founder of Proclaiming Him to Women Ministries, gently yet powerfully presents God’s Word. She encourages and equips women by exalting Christ through inspirational, practical Bible teaching. Visit www.proclaiminghimtowomen.com to read Emily’s blog devotionals and to learn more about life in Christ. Emily welcomes speaking opportunities at women’s events such as retreats, luncheons, and conferences. Please e-mail firstname.lastname@example.org. Emily resides in western NC with her husband and their four children.
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 33
The Wedding Invitation Even though it’s considered only a small part of the planning, the invitation sets the mood for your wedding day. But now you have a lot of “wiggle room” to show off your creativity. For a formal wedding, we used to think only of engraved invitations in cream or white. Now, except for the purists, it can be colorful, whimsical or extremely ornate. You must keep in mind the size, scope and size of your wedding. The brides I work with now want their invitations to be different. They want them to show something of themselves rather than what we consider the norm. The designers of today know this and offer many variations on the standard invitation. As weddings have become more innovative, so have the invitations. Anything can be printed on them, a college logo, a favorite sport or a picture of the bride and groom. I have seen one printed with the couple sitting in the groom’s vintage sports car. One of my very favorites has a picture of the couple’s prized yorkie. For the second marriages of the bride and groom, they had a picture of their combined families. With the word “green” in our everyday vocabulary, I am seeing papers embedded with seeds, flowers and leaves. Some may unfold like origami. Another may be mailed in a cardboard tube. I’ve seen several with satin bows, others fastened with a wax seal of initials or the family crest. Bows, seals and flowers along with rice, tissue or parchment papers have marked some of the biggest changes in invitation design. For a country wedding, it was imprinted on a brown paper bag. The modern family of today has forced changes in the usual wording of wedding invitations. Blended families, divorced and single parents, remarried parents, and second marriages all call for different wording. And keep in mind, someone who has passed away cannot invite someone to a wedding. An invitation book or a good stationer can assist you in the proper wording if you have questions. Some invitations can include a reception card when the ceremony and reception are held in separate locations. Or when only a select group of guests are invited to the reception. Keep in mind though, you will still probably have uninvited guests show up at the reception. Be prepared. You may also choose to send out response cards. These should ALWAYS be accompanied by a self addressed, pre-stamped envelope. Do not put the name of your gift registry on your invitations or enclosed with them. It’s very inappropriate to mention gifts when you are asking someone to attend your wedding. It also applies when asking for money instead of gifts. You just don’t do it. Your invitation is intended to convey information necessary for the guests to get to your wedding and in clearest manner possible. If in doubt, keep it simple.
by Mackey Carpenter
pg 34 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | October 2012
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www.thepeacockinn-newton.com www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 35
s e r u t n e v d a s Mi ’s y d n a M
by Mandy Thomas
There will be many times in my daughter’s lives when I’m sure they’ll make me flush with pride. All the firsts, the many accomplishments they’ll have on which they expended their time and energy with satisfying results, and all the moments when they form their own opinions to my surprise and absolute delight. Let’s talk about that last one, shall we? On a recent excursion to Wal Mart with her dad, Addison revealed her keen eye for character, and had us laughing so hard we nearly cried. Oh, and just so you know: the names have been changed and/or omitted to protect the...well, the man. Chris and Addison were strolling through the supermarket when they noticed an old friend of ours, trailing behind a gaggle of girls. Having not seen him in a while, and noting to himself that some things never change, Chris waved him down. They spent the obligatory first few minutes catching up and swapping stories about their newest jobs, chatting idly until our friend noticed Addison. To hear it told, there was much cooing over her, and lots of high fives (though many of them were turned down by Addison, who seemed wary through the entire exchange). After suffering through a few more minutes of this, goodbyes were said and everyone went on their merry way. Addison - who, up until this point, had remained fairly quiet - looked up at Chris and said, “Daddy, I hate boys.” Basically, my parental skills are top notch.
October 2012 pg 36 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | September 2012
Our Monthly Feature
Photos from our September 2012 Contest.
Photo Submitted By: Limelight Photography
Local Photos of Everyday people, places, and events as seen through the eyes of the area's professional and amateur photographers!
s h u t t e r b u g g e r z . c o m www.shutterbuggerz.com www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 37 37
Photo Submitted By: Brandy Watkins
Photo Submitted By: Elizabeth Sweet Photography
Photo Submitted By: As We See It Photography
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Safety First In Kids’ Halloween Costumes Dressing up and engaging in role play is an important component of childhood learning and having fun. Although costumes are regularly used in day care centers, schools and at home, they become the center of attention when Halloween arrives. The practice of wearing costumes dates back at least 2,000 years to ancient Europeans and Celts. These cultures celebrated a holiday called Samhain, which represented their new year. Samhain fell on November 1 and marked the first day of winter after the summer harvest. These ancient people associated the winter with coldness, darkness and death and believed the day before Samhain -- October 31 -- established a distorted boundary between the living and the dead. Therefore, individuals wore costumes and masks to avoid being recognized by the ghosts that came out on the night of Samhain. They would also place bowls of food outside of their homes to satisfy the ghosts and keep them from entering the home. Although Halloween has transformed more into a commercial holiday than one associated with death and the afterworld in the literal sense, many adults and children continue to participate in the rituals that were set forth many years ago, most notably wearing costumes. Parents may want to ensure that the costumes their children wear are safe to help make Halloween a day without injury. * Create a cape that doesn’t choke. A long cape can be stepped on and then tug at a child’s neck. Instead, make a cape that has arm loops to keep it in place instead of a tie around the neck. This way there never will be a choking hazard. * Check makeup labeling. There are many safe Halloween cosmetics on the market, but some should not be used around the eyes or mouth because allergic reactions could occur. Double-check all ingredients lists and package warnings before using makeup on children, who tend to have more sensitive skin than adults. Also, it is a good idea to do a test patch of the product. Put a small dab of the makeup in the crook of the inside of the child’s elbow. Wait 24 hours and see if any itching or a rash forms. This could indicate an allergy to the product.
pg 46 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | October 2012
* Keep eyes open. Masks are popular components of Halloween costumes, but some designs can obstruct vision or even impair breathing. Masks always should be comfortable to wear and offer good forward and peripheral views. * Choose natural materials for costumes. Buying a pre-made costume at the store may save you time and money, but there may be safer options if you construct a costume yourself. Many costumes are made overseas and may contain materials that are toxic or off-gas volatile organic chemicals (VOCs), particularly plastic and vinyl products. Breathing in the fumes can be dangerous to young children. By making the costume yourself, you can control what fabrics and other materials are used. * Go organic. There are a number of companies that are now making Halloween costumes from organic fabrics and recycled materials. A simple online search can give you a host of prospects for purchasing these costumes. * Make it visible. Trick-or-treating at night can be, well, tricky. Darkness can make it hard for drivers and other pedestrians to see costume-clad children. If going door-to-door will be happening at night, consider giving children glow sticks or flashlights to carry. There also are reflective tapes that can be attached to costumes that make them light up when lights shine on the tape. * Avoid choking hazards. Many costumes come with small detailing or accessories that may be hazardous to young children. Youngsters who do not yet know what items should and should not be put in their mouths should not wear costumes with removable or small detailing. Also, avoid the use of fake teeth (such as vampire fangs) and fake blood or goo capsules that are meant to be bitten, so they won’t be swallowed. Halloween is meant to be a time of fun and adventure. Ensuring costumes are safe for children can help make the day even more enjoyable for all involved.
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