Sophie Woman's Magazine July 2013

VOLUME 9 - ISSUE 5 / JULY 2013

S

phie

Wo m a n ’ s M a g a z i n e

INSIDE: Girlfriends In God ~ Do You Need A Little Refinishing? | Page 14 Reaching Your Full Potential ~ Never, Never, Never Give Up! | Page 6 Me, Myself, & Inc. ~ Is Too Much Input Inhibiting You? | Page 27 shutterbuggerz pg 38

INSPIRATION ~ EDUCATION ~ MOTIVATION

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from the

From The Editor: Judy Smith

A lady stopped my husband the other day and told him how much she loved Sophie Woman’s Magazine. She told him that there were a number of articles that really spoke to her every month but there would always be one that really touched her heart. She wanted him to share that with me.

That is just one of the many that we get each month and I wanted to share it with you.

Another lady was sharing with me her story of using Sophie Woman’s Magazine and about something amazing that happened. I told her she should write that story and share it with our readers. Have you had a story that you would want to share with us? Even if you think you can’t write, if you just start and it is something that comes from the heart, it will flow from you. Don’t worry if everything is correct. If it needs a little work, we will help. If you are thinking of it, don’t procrastinate. If you are anything like me, then it will get put on the back burner and be forgotten.

Sometimes I think I need to switch my hours around; switch my night and day. The ideas I have at night while not sleeping are pretty amazing, then I get up the next morning and I know I had an idea but what in the world was it? If my brain only had a filing system that I could have easy access to the next day then it would be “look out world”.

Oh well….maybe it is for the best.

directly to you. The article will not be the same one for me, or for you, or for the lady in Wal-Mart, or the one in the Doctor’s office. Each and every one of us has unique needs and desires that make us who we are.

One article that really spoke to me this month is the one

by Mackey Carpenter. Then the one by Kim Fletcher this month is very moving as well. Dr. David’s article spoke volumes to me. I could go on and on because honestly, I think every single one has the potential of being the one for you.

The one that touches my heart the most though, is the message you send me. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading Sophie Woman’s Magazine. Whether you read the hard copy, look at it on-line, look at the photos on shutterbuggerz.com, whatever you do, Thank You so much.

I can no other answer make, but, thanks, and thanks.

- William Shakespeare

Besides, I could not switch my hours around. My family would not be willing to do that, my church would not be willing to do that, even though I know Wal-Mart has already done that. Do you think that is what they wanted to have happen…. everyone to switch their hours around?

OK, I got off subject, so let me get back to what I was saying. My hope is that there will be an article in Sophie Woman’s Magazine every single month that will speak www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 3

S

phie Woman’s Magazine

21 East A Street Newton, NC 28658 (P) 828-466-0122 (F) 828-466-0124 Editor: Judy Smith Production Manager & Graphic Design: Scott Hansley Sales: Stephanie Ledford 828-729-8353 stephanie@sophiewomansmagazine.com For General Advertising Inquiries, Please Email Us At sales@sophiewomansmagazine.com

A Special Thanks To All Of Our Distributors Please be sure to visit all of our participating advertisers and remember to support area local small businesses.

How to place an ad: Call our office at (828)466-0122 and leave a message. One of our sales representatives will return your call as soon as possible. You may also fax material to (828)466-0124. We reserve the right to refuse to run any ad we deem to be controversial or in bad taste.

For more information about advertising or to view Sophie Woman’s Magazine online, visit our website at www.sophiewomansmagazine.com.

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Message From The Heart......................................pg 3 Reaching Your Full Potential................................pg 6 Mandy’s Misadventures........................................pg 8 The Front Porch......................................................pg 11 The Fly Lady.........................................................pg 12 Girlfriends In God................................................pg 14 Health & Fitness Tips...........................................pg 16 A Brave Girl Named Elizabeth Zane.....................pg 18 Truth & Beauty.....................................................pg 20 Sophisticated Women...........................................pg 22 In The Smile Business: Dr John Fish, DDS.............pg 25 Me, Myself, & Inc................................................pg 27 The Dinner Diva..................................................pg 28 Inquiring Minds Want To Know............................pg 30 Recipes For Life...................................................pg 32 God, Marriage, & The Rest Of Your Life.............pg 34 9 Critical Mistakes Most Couples Make...........pg 36 Shutterbuggerz.....................................................pg 38

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We have been asked by many of our readers to offer a subscription to Sophie Woman’s Magazine. If you would like more information about a subscription, please visit our website at:

www.sophiewomansmagazine.com You can also find more information on page 10 of this issue.

********************************************************** Disclaimer: Sophie Woman’s Magazine LLC is published monthly. The articles published in Sophie do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the publisher.

All articles are intended for informational purposes only, and none should serve as a substitute for doctor’s advice and orders. Advertisers are solely responsible for the content and validity of information published within their ads and are not necessarily endorsed by the publisher. Deceptive or misleading advertising is not knowingly accepted by the publisher.

Advertising is accepted with the understanding that all liability for copyright violations is the sole responsibility of the advertiser. All material submitted for publication is considered to be the sole property of the advertiser.

Sophie Woman’s Magazine LLC’s publishers, staff, and other persons involved in the creation, production, or delivery of the magazine (in whatever format) or ti’s content, do not assume any liability or responsibility for the accuracy, completeness, or usefulness of any information provided in the magazine, nor shall they be liable for any direct, indirect, incidental, special, consequential, or punitive damages arising out of the use of the magazine. **********************************************************

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REACHING YOUR FULL POTENTIAL: Never, Never, Never Give Up!

by Kim Fletcher, Life Coach, Author, Speaker

“Higher calling matters. When you care deeply about the WHY – why you’re doing what you’re doing – then and only then are you operating in a way that allows you to overcome the obstacles.” Dave Ramsey • • •

Why are you doing what you are doing?

How easily do you allow your best plans to be aborted by imperfect circumstances, procrastination or a loss of focus?

Are you more prone to see the inconveniences that are often hidden within opportunities or do you see the opportunities which lie hidden in the inconveniences?

Coaches have a key strategy that anyone can master… the art of asking powerful, insightful questions that bring fresh perspective to the moment. These three questions came to my mind immediately the other day when my friend, Heather, shared a personal story which captured my heart.

Back in February, her nine year old daughter Kara was looking forward to her first Father-Daughter dance with her Girl Scout Troop. The mild winter decided to drop only a few days of treacherous travel our way this past winter, and as you might guess, one of the few snow days fell on Kara’s much-anticipated day. Her heart sank as her Mom prepared her for the disappointing news that the dance had to be canceled.

Without any prompting, her Father, Rick, decided not to allow his daughter’s special night to be sabotaged quite so easily… he had another plan. Calling ahead to his unsuspecting wife, he asked her to stop by the store to pick up the items he needed to create a special meal and to have his best suit ready. He would be running late, as he needed to stop by the florist on the blustery day to secure a corsage for his special date. He further asked Heather to have Kara dress just as if she were heading out to the ball and to wait for him to pick her up at her bedroom door at the specified time.

The heart of this Dad was larger than the snow storm.

The official dance was canceled but he saw a vision for pg 6 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | July 2013

creating a night to be remembered for life by his nine year old princess‌ they would have their very own dance in the warm, cozy comfort of their own living room. The candles were lit, the dinner was prepared, the suit was pressed as the Night in Shining Armor knocked promptly on the door of his princess, beckoning her to the party.

story to infuse you with creative strategies for seeing the opportunities which lie imbedded in the challenges you face daily. Next time a storm brews, don’t be so quick to cancel the plans. You just may find yourself creating history by allowing the seemingly negative to become the launching pad for your most innovative and creative plans.

The little girl could not believe her eyes‌ her Daddy had made a way for their night to go on unhindered. Mom was ordered to her room where she shot a few unsuspecting photos, but for the most part, she was not allowed at this party for two. Dad ‘wined’ his daughter with dinner, dancing, laughter and fun.

Take a few moments to answer the three questions offered at the front side of this article and picture yourself refusing to be hindered in life by the simple distractions that separate mediocre living from the art of thriving.

My eyes filled with tears as my friend shared this beautiful story, a memory this Dad and Daughter will remember for many winters to come.

The cold of February has given way to the summer heat.

Snow shovels are now packed away and replaced with sand buckets. Ski parkas are hidden away as we wear shorts and swim suits. But not so quickly forgotten are the lessons imbedded in the beauty of a night salvaged out of a Father’s heart.

As you enjoy your summer day, I hope you will allow this

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Donald Miller once said, “If what you are doing is important, you will encounter resistance. If what you are doing isn’t important, it will be easy.� Re-frame the resistance and recognize that an uphill climb will yield a much more rewarding view and lasting memories once you reach the top!

About Kim...

Kim Fletcher is a Life Coach, Speaker and three-time Author of global impact. She and her team at Kim Fletcher Associates are bringing true transformation to the personal and professional lives of their clients.

Contact her directly to learn more about her newest release, The Tension Point: Breaking Through To Where You Want To Be. 828 327 0749 / email: kimfletchercoach@aol.com / web: kimfletcherassociates.com.

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s e r u t n e v d a s Mi ’s y d n a M

by Mandy Thomas

There is nothing going on in our house.

It’s kind of scary to consider, if you think about it.

I keep waiting for the screech of doom that comes before someone is pushed or a toy is taken, but it doesn’t happen. Neither do the weird questions, freak accidents, or the wall punching that inevitably accompanies summer cabin fever.

Which is real, y’all. I don’t care what anyone says, it is real.

And maybe it’s not all entirely true that nothing has been going on. I’ve been having some back problems again (a lovely little disc problem that ends in pinched nerves), and there was one day when the kids knew I couldn’t get up off the couch and sled down the staircase on a sleeping bag, so there’s that.

But really, that’s the only incident that we’ve had thus far.

And yes, I understand that it is only the beginning of summer, and I’ll have plenty of time to regret saying this, but I’m really enjoying having the girls to myself. Since I’ve been injured, I’ve had to take some time off of work, and it’s been nice to be with them uninterrupted. We’ve giggled, watched way too much television, given each other pedicures, and read some of a book together.

It’s been the perfect summer so far, really.

I’ll let you know how this pans out next month, and you can volunteer to babysit for me, though. Okay?

pg 8 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | July 2013

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M

y front porch this month is on the ball fields. How can it be possible that I have four grand kids playing ball and all four of them on different teams and different schedules?

It is enough to drive grandparents insane, that is, if they were not already. I love to be there to support each and every one but sometimes you just have to choose. Can anyone tell me a great way to do that because right now it is a roll of the dice!

I just want to put you on notice. If you are a baseball fan, you might want to try to catch a few of my grand kids games though. The scouts are already out looking them over. Ally really hustles after the ball when someone on the other team hits one. Right field, left field, behind home plate….that 4 year old is all over the place. Then there is Lizzie. She is a runner. Her dad says she runs like Babe Ruth. I am not really sure what he means by that except that I heard Babe had a stiff jog.

Speaking of Babe Ruth, you really need to come check our “Slugger”. Emily loves playing ball. She is a really great hitter. But all good hitters strike out at times. When I remind her that Babe Ruth broke the record for most home runs in a season and that same year he broke another record. Babe Ruth struck out more times than any other player in Major League Baseball.

I know she understands the message I am trying to give her by the look on her face. Babe Ruth was not afraid to strike out.

That is the message you are getting, right?

Front Porch The

by Judy Smith

Future Baseball Star

A little boy was overheard talking to himself as he strutted through the backyard, wearing his baseball cap and toting a ball and bat, “I’m the greatest hitter in the world,” he announced.

Let me share a little secret with you. I am not that Then, he tossed the ball into the air, swung at it, and crazy about any kind of ball games. All our grandsons missed. “Strike One!” he yelled. have played ball. Now all the granddaughters are Undaunted, he picked up the ball and said again, playing ball.

“I’m the greatest hitter in the world!”

He tossed the ball into the air. When it came down he swung I love dance. They have the cutest tutus and dance again and missed. “Strike Two!” he cried. outfits you have ever seen. I love gymnastics. The things they can do are just incredible. The events are The boy then paused a moment to examine his bat and INDOORS… with air conditioning! Granddaughters if ball carefully. He spit on his hands and rubbed them you are reading this, there is a new tutu from me if you together. He straightened his cap and said once more, are interested.

“I’m the greatest hitter in the world!”

Again he tossed the ball up in the air and I might not be crazy about ball, but I am crazy about my swung at it. He missed. “Strike Three!” grand kids. They are so worth sitting in the hot sun, the bug As far as Joshua is concerned, well, he is on a commercial league and their schedules are later in the evening. It is not always possible for me to make those but I love that he is so relieved…I mean understanding!

bites, hauling chairs around all over the place and the hot dogs.

Wait, they don’t do hot dogs at these games. They don’t do the chicken dance at these games either. Hmmm, wonder if the kids would like for us grandparents to start that tradition at their games?

“Wow!” he exclaimed. “I’m the greatest pitcher in the world.!”

www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 11

FlyLady THE

by Marla Cilley

bank and only keep copies at the house. This keeps you from panicking. If you have them at home then put them in a folder that you can easily grab if you have to move fast. Color code it so you can find it!

5. PRESCRIPTIONS: Take your medications with you. Don’t forget the ones that have to be refrigerated like insulin. Have a small ice chest and cold packs readily accessible to pack and go.

If you have babies; remember their formula or medications.

Are You Prepared To Take Shelter?

Here it is that time of year again when we are faced with the threat of Evacuation from our homes. We never know when this could happen because of fire, train wreck, floods, riots, earthquakes, tornado, or hurricanes. It is up to us to be prepared! Sometimes we only have a few minutes to take shelter. Please keep the people in the path of these terrible storms in your thoughts and prayers.

1. PEOPLE: Have a plan for getting out of the house and make sure everyone knows it. Have an emergency bag of food and water for your family. Include wholesome snacks and treats for the children: dried fruit, nuts, peanut butter, crackers and granola bars.

2. PETS: Keep pet carriers and leashes readily available to lead pets to safety. Also take pet food with you.

3. PICTURES: Keep negatives or CDs of pictures in a lock box or at a family member’s home. Have picture albums in one place ready to grab and go at a moments notice.

4. PAPERS: Have all your important papers in a lock box at a

pg 11 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | July 2013

6. PURSES and PETRO: This is where you keep your identification, credit cards and cash. Keep a stash of cash for emergencies and grab it. You may not be able to use an ATM in the event of a power outage. Make sure your car always has a half a tank of gas.

7. PROPER CLOTHES and COMFORT ITEMS: According to the weather conditions; gather up a change of clothes along with outer clothing: coats, rain gear, boots, gloves and hats. If you have babies remember diapers. Remember to grab your children’s favorite blanket, stuffed animal or toy. A game or a deck of cards could keep them occupied and calm too.

8. PLANNER/CALENDAR/CONTROL JOURNAL: These documents have all the information you will need from phone numbers, insurance numbers and important dates. They are small and filled with things you don’t have to try to remember.

9. PERSONAL PROTECTION: Many of us still have that time of the month. Be sure and grab a box of your preferred protection.

It may be hard to find if you have been evacuated. Stress can cause our bodies to do strange things too. So be prepared. Take medication for cramps too.

10. PHONES, RADIOS, FUEL FOR THE CAR: Many of us have cell phones now. Always keep them charged up and have a charger in the car or an extra battery. They may not work in the event of power outages, but then they might. Know which local radio station has emergency bulletins. Keep your battery powered radio tuned to that local station and have plenty of batteries for it. Also keep a old type regular phone that does not operate with electricity. GAS PUMPS don’t work without power either. You can’t leave if your car is on empty. So keep your car’s fuel tank

topped off when it hits a half of tank. This way you will have gas to drive at least a couple of hours. Evacuation routes are usually bumper to bumper traffic. Having a tank filled will keep you less stressed.

11. PATIENCE: This is one of the most important things to pack.

Keep it inside of you so that you have a clear calm head. Having your P’s to Preparedness list guiding you will keep you patient. In the event of an evacuation there will be lots of displaced people.

Being patient will make things less stressful. Your children need to see you calm and collected. This will help keep them calm too.

We can FLY in the face of Danger and Emergency if we are prepared. Don’t wait till you are being asked or told to take shelter. Everyone thinks that it could not happen to them. Well it could and it is up to you to make sure you are prepared.

Don’t wait! DO IT NOW!! I know you have been procrastinating because you don’t think it can happen in your area.

For more help getting rid of your clutter and CHAOS, check out her website and join her free mentoring group at www.FlyLady.net or read her book, Sink Reflections published by Random House. Help me build a Habitat Home this year. http://www.share.habitat.org/flyladybuildproject Please bless others with your clutter by donating it to a Habitat for Humanity Restore near you. Copyright 2013 Marla Cilley Used by permission in this publication.

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Shabby Chic Refinishing

by Sharon Jaynes

Today’s Truth

If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! (2 Corinthians 5:17, NIV).

Friend to Friend

Junk. That’s what my family and friends thought of most of my purchases. But to me, they were treasures waiting to be revealed.

When I was in my late teens, I had an unusual fetish for beat-up antique furniture. While most of my friends were at the mall shopping for clothes, I was at estate sales, flea markets, yard sales, and auctions hunting for antiques. Often, when I brought my purchases home, my family would roll their eyes and say, “I can’t believe you paid money for that old piece of junk.” But I never saw my purchases as junk. They just needed a little work…okay, sometimes a lot of work. But I loved the shabby chic projects!

At one estate sale I spied a little drop leaf kitchen table with three spindle-back chairs. I could just imagine a sweet little older lady spending many years sitting at that very table drinking her morning coffee or perhaps her afternoon tea. I could almost hear the faint whispers of thousands of conversations from generations past. The set was painted a hospital green, but I saw that it had great potential. Obviously the other bidders didn’t recognize a treasure when they saw one, because ten minutes and $35 later, the set was mine.

I brought the dinette set home, all excited about my great buy, and couldn’t understand why no one else shared my enthusiasm.

“Sharon, do you realize how much time and energy it is going to take to make that old green rickety table look even slightly presentable?” they asked. At that point in my life, I had a lot more time than money, so the time wasn’t a problem.

Refinishing furniture is a dirty, grueling task. First, I stripped off the paint with paint remover and discovered that not only had the table been green, it had also been blue, and before that white. But underneath it all was pure walnut.

The paint remover raised the grain of the wood, so I had to go back and sand it smooth. If the sanding isn’t done well, the finished product will always be a little rough. A few joints were loose from wear and tear, so I glued them back together. Then I applied a warm walnut stain which deepened its color and made the beautiful pattern of the wood grain stand out. Finally, I applied a polyurethane coat to seal and protect the piece.

As I worked I began to think of the old broken table as a symbol of my own life. I was also on the auction block, and God had purchased me with His Son’s precious blood. I had layers and layers of my old self that had to be stripped away to reveal the beauty hidden beneath. This raised my grain, but God sanded me with life experiences and trials to remove the rough edges. He glued my loose joints and mended my broken pieces, for He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. Then He put

pg 14 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | July 2013

a sealer not only on me but in me – the Holy Spirit who brought out the beauty of who God created me to be.

After I finished refurbishing the old table and chairs, I sat in the garage thinking about all that God had done in my life. My mom opened the door, looked at the old table, and said, “I never thought something so ugly could turn out to be so beautiful.”

I said, “Amen.”

Where are you in the refinishing process? It’s never really over, this side of heaven. But as we listen to God day by day, He will show us what needs to be stripped off, sanded away, and polished smooth to be all that He has created us to be.

Let’s Pray

Dear Lord, I was such a mess before You transformed me. Thank You for restoring my soul, renewing my spirit, and redeeming my life to become Your treasured possession…a true work of art. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Now It’s Your Turn

Read 2 Corinthians 5:1-21 to learn more about your refinishing process.

Think back over the past year.

• What has God used as His sandpaper to refine your rough edges?

• What has God used to glue your broken pieces back together?

• What has God used to polish your shine?

More from the Girlfriends

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Bikini Ready Exercises Exercise Number One- Half Cross Extensions This exercise targets the core, obliques, hamstrings and quads while stabilizing the hips.

by Sharon Rashidi

Step One- Lay down on your back with one bent leg and arm out to the side.

B.S. Health Education

Owner of The Perfect Workout

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Are you slightly hesitant about wearing your brand new bikini? Do not despair. Here are some tips on helping you to get a sexy bikini body.

Getting your body ready for bikini season will take hard work and dedication, but it doesn’t have to be torture. Depending on your fitness level, how much weight you want to lose and your commitment to the process, you may see results in just 4-6 weeks of hard work.

Remember that there are no shortcuts. Try to stay away from weight loss and surgical fads that can cause serious damage to both your physical and mental well-being. For example, according to the Mayo Clinic, fat cells increase in size and volume with weight gain. Liposuction reduces the number of fat cells in a specific area. If a person gains weight after a liposuction procedure, fat distribution may change. For example, if the abdomen and hips were the areas suctioned, the thighs or buttocks may become problem areas or even worse, the fat can gather around your organs, which is the deadliest place to house fat.

In order to transform yourself completely you must make exercise a part of your daily life, and put the right foods, nutrients, and portions into your body. The first step in getting your body beach ready is to know your body type. For example, if you are pear-shaped, you will probably still be pear-shaped even if you lose 15 pounds. No matter how much weight you lose or gain, your general body type will remain the same.

The sooner you accept this, the happier you will be with your body. The next step is to set an attainable goal and remember everyone will have a different goal. Your beach body might be 180 pounds, while another person’s beach body might be 140 pounds.

Do not starve yourself! You will only slow down your metabolism and progress not to mention putting yourself at risk for health problems.

A safe and healthy way to lose weight is by reducing your daily calorie intake by 500 calories per day. When counting calories, remember that one pound equals 3500 calories. Eat plenty of protein. Stay away from high carbohydrate meals and sugar. Opt for water over fruit juices and sodas and by all means, try your best to stay away from alcohol. Alcohol deposits empty calories in your body that will counteract all of the hard work you’ve put in up to that point.

Start an exercise program that includes both cardiovascular and weight training. This will help to not only increase your metabolism, but will also give you more energy, endurance, and will help reduce food binging. Seek out fun and energetic classes to get your moving!

Don’t be too hard on yourself if you fall off the wagon. It happens to the best of us. Remember to pick yourself back up and try again. Always remain positive. Maintain this lifestyle change for the long-haul so that it becomes your daily reality.

pg 16 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | July 2013

Step Two- Lift the other leg and the opposite arm straight up to touch. Return back to the starting position and repeat 12 times.

Changes sides and repeat the exercise.

Tips- Make sure your head is aligned with your spine. Always remember to lift with your chest and not your neck. Connect your breath with the movement, exhaling on each exertion. Keep your back pressed into the mat.

Exercise Number Two- V- Leg Raises V- Leg raises are a great exercise for building control in the legs, abs and hips. It requires one leg to be lifted so it is very effective for strengthening the obliques, inner thighs, quads and core region.

Step One- Sit in a V sit position, contracting your abdominal muscles at all times. Join hands in Namaste or prayer position.

Step Two-. Lift your right leg up in a controlled manner. Feet flexed, then slowly take it down. Try not to touch the mat for a constant contraction in the inner thigh. Repeat for 12-15 repetitions. Change sides and repeat the exercise.

Tips- This movement has to be done with a lot of focus and control. Plus the upper body has to be still. Make sure you lower your legs slowly while engaging your core.

www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 17

A Brave Girl named Elizabeth Zane

By John Esten Cooke (Adapted)

In the autumn of 1777 the English decided to attack Fort Henry, at Wheeling, in northwestern Virginia. This was an important border fort named in honor of Patrick Henry, and around which had grown up a small village of about twenty-five log houses.

A band of Indians, under the leadership of one Simon Girty, was supplied by the English with muskets and ammunition, and sent against the fort. This Girty was a white man, who, when a boy, had been captured by Indians, and brought up by them. He had joined their tribes, and was a ferocious and bloodthirsty leader of savage bands.

When the settlers at Wheeling heard that Simon Girty and his Indians were advancing on the town, they left their homes and hastened into the fort. Scarcely had they done so when the savages made their appearance.

The defenders of the fort knew that a desperate fight must now take place, and there seemed little probability that they would be able to hold out against their assailants. They had only forty two fighting men, including old men and boys, while the Indian force numbered about five hundred.

What was worse they had but a small amount of gunpowder. A keg containing the main supply had been left by accident in one of the village houses. This misfortune, as you will soon see, brought about the brave action of a young girl.

After several encounters with the savages, which took place in the village, the defenders withdrew to the fort. Then a number of Indians advanced with loud yells, firing as they came.

The fire was returned by the defenders, each of whom had picked out his man, and taken deadly aim. Most of the attacking party were killed, and the whole body of Indians fell back into the near-by woods, and there awaited a more favorable opportunity to renew hostilities.

The men in the fort now discovered, to their great dismay, that their gunpowder was nearly gone. What was to be done? Unless they could get another supply, they would not be able to hold the fort, and they and their women and children would either be massacred or carried into captivity.

Colonel Shepherd, who was in command, explained to the settlers exactly how matters stood. He also told them of the forgotten keg of powder which was in a house standing about sixty yards from the gate of the fort.

It was plain to all that if any man should attempt to procure the keg, he would almost surely be shot by the lurking Indians. In spite of this three or four young men volunteered to go on the dangerous mission.

Colonel Shepherd replied that he could not spare three or four strong men, as there were already too few for the defense. Only one man should make the attempt and they might decide who was to go. This caused a dispute.

Just then a young girl stepped forward and said that SHE was ready to go. Her name was Elizabeth Zane, and she had just returned from a boarding school in Philadelphia. This made her brave offer all the more remarkable, since she had not been bred up to the fearless life of the border.

At first the men would not hear of her running such a risk. She was told that it meant certain death. But she urged that they could not spare a man from the defense, and that the loss of one girl would not be an important matter. So after some discussion the settlers

pg 18 | Sophie Womanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Magazine | July 2013

agreed that she should go for the powder.

The house, as has already been stated, stood about sixty yards from the fort, and Elizabeth hoped to run thither and bring back the powder in a few minutes. The gate was opened, and she passed through, running like a deer.

A few straggling Indians were dodging about the log houses of the town - they saw the fleeing girl, but for some reason they did not fire upon her. They may have supposed that she was returning to her home to rescue her clothes. Possibly they thought it a waste of good ammunition to fire at a woman, when they were so sure of taking the fort before long. So they looked on quietly while, with flying skirts, Elizabeth ran across the open, and entered the house.

She found the keg of powder, which was not large. She lifted it with both arms, and, holding the precious burden close to her breast, she darted out of the house and ran in the direction of the fort.

When the Indians saw what she was carrying they uttered fierce yells and fired.

The bullets fell like hail about her, but not one so much as touched her garments.

With the keg hugged to her bosom, she ran on, and reached the fort in safety. The gate closed upon her just as the bullets of the Indians buried themselves in its thick panels.

The rescued gunpowder enabled the little garrison to hold out until help arrived from the other settlements near Wheeling. And Girty, seeing that there were no further hopes of taking Fort Henry, withdrew his band.

Thus a weak but brave girl was the means of saving strong men with their wives and children. It was a heroic act, and Americans should never forget to honor the name of Elizabeth Zane.

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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 19

TRUTH

& BEAUTY

by Teresa Pope, Esthetician

Question: My daughter wants to put red, white and blue streaks in her hair for a July 4th celebration that she plans to attend. Is this something she can do herself or should we have it done at a salon? Also, will it damage her hair and how long will it last? I don’t want her to still have red, white and blue hair by the time school starts again in the late summer.

Answer: The answer to all of your questions depends upon your daughters natural hair color. If she is blonde the red and blue may stain the hair and be a little more difficult to remove then if her hair is naturally darker. Even so, the color should definitely be gone by the time school starts again, no matter her natural color.

(Be sure to use only a temporary color. You can identify that type by looking for words on the packaging such as “temporary or washes out”) Even so, the color will stain and last for several shampoos, so if you don’t mind her having that color for the entire summer, all should be fine.

As to the question as to rather or not she should do it herself depends on her ability to do so. Many girls are very talented in this area and are quite capable of applying those fun hair colors themselves. Then again, it’s better to be safe than sorry. A professional will be able to get the colors brighter and more vivid than you probably can at home, as well as ensuring that the hair is not damaged in the process. Having the white color will be the hardest color to add. If her hair is dark, it will be almost impossible to bleach the hair until it is white and that will be extremely damaging to the hair. And that will not be temporary, that will be permanent, until it grows out or is colored back her natural color.

Also if her hair is dark she will have to pre-lighten those sections of hair as well before applying the red and blue colors, if she wants them to be bright. Or if she just wants a hint of red and blue she can apply directly to her dark hair, but as I said, the colors will be muted. So I suggest you see a professional to have your daughter’s color done. Better yet! I would simply purchase some clip in hair extensions in the colors that you want. That way there will be no damage to the hair and it can be worn whenever she is in the mood for something a little different, and can be taken out “when you’re not”!

These hair extensions are reasonable priced and can be purchased at a salon or beauty supply company, and at this time of year, Red, White and Blue should be readily available.

pg 20 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | July 2013

www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 21

S

W

ophisticated omen Have Rights and Responsibilities

By Nicole Greer, PPCC Founder and Principle Coach at Vibrant Coaching

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all (wo)men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.” –The Declaration of Independence You have some ‘things’ no one can take away. Unless, you give up your responsibility to them. When you own things, you have to take care of them. Ownership has its rights. And with rights, come responsibilities.

You know what I mean.

We all have tangible possessions that surround us. We spend an inordinate amount of time tending to them. We clean the house.

We maintenance the car. We fold the clothes and on and on. We treasure these things because we can see their benefits. A home is a place to live life. A car gives us the freedom to move. And our clothes make us feel happy and look good. Yes...we are very good at taking care of our physical possessions. We are responsible.

But, what about the things that we own that we cannot see in the physical?

What about those truths our founding fathers speak of in the Declaration of Independence? Are they self-evident (or obvious) to us?

Do we really ‘get’ the fact that we have...

LIFE LIBERTY and THE PURSUIT of HAPPINESS ...as a RIGHT? Powerful Question: What would it look like if we took responsibility for our RIGHTS to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness?

pg 22 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | July 2013

I imagine our lives would change radically. That’s what happened in the year of 1776. Lives changed radically. People chose to live a new way. They fought for freedom. And they recognized that happiness is a strategy of creating your own ‘happenings’.

What do you need to declare independence from?

Have you allowed a tyrant to take over your life?

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Your tyrant may not be named King George. Perhaps your tyrant is your boss “Joe”, your relationship with your sister, your weight gain, your bad back, your poor attitude, your lack of education, your addiction to shopping, your messy desk, your need for approval, your fear of loss, your fear of success...need I go on?

You understand. I understand. There is always some ‘tyrant’ holding us hostage.

This is where our rights to LIFE, LIBERTY AND THE PURSUIT of HAPPINESS must be supported by our responsibility. We must declare independence from the tyrant holding us back living our life in freedom in a state of happiness.

Let’s look to history to see how we, in the true American spirit, can exercise rights and take on a new set of responsibilities.

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June 11, 1776 Thomas Jefferson, John Adams, Benjamin Franklin, Roger Sherman, and Robert R. Livingston appointed to a committee to draft a declaration of independence. American army retreats to Lake Champlain from Canada. -U.S. History.org Take responsibility…

Gather your thoughts and some trusted friends. Form an alliance and right down exactly what you want. Pull back from the dayto-day fight and get focused. Carefully over the course of a month tweak the words, consider the consequences of maintaining status quo versus breaking free, and breath life into a new way to govern your life.

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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 23

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pg 24 | Sophie Womanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Magazine | July 2013

SMILE In The

Dr. John Fish DDS

BUSINESS

607 US 70 Highway Hildebran, NC 28637 Caring. Knowledgeable. Real. Those are characteristics I came away with after meeting Dr. John Fish, DDS. The term Real, might not be a description that everyone appreciates but it is one that I think says a lot about a person. If I am going to consider the services of someone, I surely want to know that they are who they say and can do what they say they can do. In fact, that is what a patient of Dr. Fish told me as well.

Sherry told me, “Dr. Fish is a man who does what he says he is going to do. He is proud of the work he does and wants to make sure his customers are satisfied. I am so happy with the work he has done for me. I spent a long time with a gap in my teeth that made me very self-conscious. Dr. Fish Sherry R. (before) Sherry R. (after) closed that gap and restored my self-confidence.”

It goes without saying that you need the expertise to back up your work and that is most definitely something Dr. Fish has. I won’t go into all the training and diplomas that he has, you can read those on his website, but I want to share his passion in his own words.

“Each person who comes to our practice for care deserves no less than excellence. We believe that an attentive and respectful environment creates trusting relationships. With this as a foundation, we make sure that our patients enjoy their visits as much as their smiles.” – Dr. John Fish Known for his expertise in several fields of dentistry, Dr. Fish has been successfully placing Dental Implants since 1983. Implants have changed the life for millions of people by providing a secure, stable foundation for one, several or a full mouth of replacement teeth. Dr. Fish is extensively trained and experienced in the use of all types of Dental Implants.

Some of the other advantages of seeing Dr. Fish go beyond Implants and Cosmetic dentistry. He also offers services that you may not find at other dental offices. Dr. Fish offers IV Sedation as well as Oral Sedation. Many people suffer from a paralyzing fear of dental treatment. Sedation is highly effective in controlling anxiety and discomfort.

A smile is one of the first things I notice about a person and so many people will not give you that smile because of their feeling of embarrassment over their teeth. Dr. Fish will spend time with you discussing your options. Here is what Laura Coley had to say about her experience with Dr. Fish.

“I had been bothered my whole life by the gray stains on my teeth that were left after childhood treatments with tetracycline. As well, my teeth were small and my gums showed when I smiled. All of these

things had made me self-conscious about my smile. Just as an obese child dreams of being thin, I had always dreamed of beautiful big white teeth, kind of like a Julia Roberts smile. I ran into a dear friend and instantly noticed her gorgeous smile and simply asked her what she had done and who had done it. She told me that she had seen Dr. John Fish. I waited a few months and finally called. I suppose I was a bit afraid of the time, the money and ultimately the pain involved.

The meeting went great. He spent a lot of time with me making sure he understood what my goals and desires were. Once we knew where we were headed, we decided on a full set of veneers. I came in for a total of 4 appointments; I was kept completely informed of how much time would be involved and what would be done. I never felt any pain at all, and had prescriptions as a just in case. Dr. Fish and his staff covered every base. They were kind and friendly and always interested in knowing if I was comfortable and cared if I needed anything. I now have a smile that is perfect. My gums no longer show when I smile and each and every tooth is white and lovely. As I approach my 54th year of life, I found it so funny that I was asked for I.D. when purchasing some wine. I asked if it was policy to ask everyone, and the girl said only if we are not sure you are over 40. It has to be the white teeth because that has never happened before, I assure you. I couldn’t be happier. It was a delightful experience and money well spent.”

A new service that Dr. Fish has added to his practice is of Sleep Apnea treatment. Untreated sleep apnea comes with many health risks that include high blood pressure, acid reflux, diabetes, dementia and many other possible issues. Sleep Apnea patients are prone to strokes and heart attacks and are more likely to develop cancer. There a several treatments for Sleep Apnea, including a very painful surgery or C-Pap machines. Dr. Fish now offers an alternative to people who suffer from this. If you are a person who snores or suffers from daytime sleepiness, let Dr. Fish explain how sleep is a time for resting and rejuvenating the body and what a difference it makes when you breathe better.

Dr. Fish has written many articles that have been published in “Dentistry Today” and the “Journal of Oral Implantology”. However, the most important thing I can tell you is his patients love him and there is good reason.

Married, with 3 beautiful daughters, their family is involved with the community, with outreach, with missions and with each other.

If you have ever had that “tiny little thought” that you would like to do something about your smile, then talk with Dr. John Fish and see if he is right for you. I am confident that he will give you something to smile about.

www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 25

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Is too much input inhibiting you?

Are you or someone you know the type of person who must get a lot of other people’s opinions before proceeding with a particular initiative, action or idea? Do you seek feedback continuously, even to the point of delaying action in order to get what you feel is the necessary input? When feedback is not as you had hoped, do you seek even more feedback only delaying any progress even further? Too often, worthwhile initiatives, intuitive inspirations or high-potential ideas never get off the ground because of opinions that are based on limited understanding, preconceived assumptions and unrelated biases.

No one should operate in a silo when trying to move an idea, inspiration or initiative forward. However, if you find yourself stuck because you are feeling overwhelmed by the opinions, then chances are you are not gaining the right feedback for the right reasons, causing more confusion than clarity.

Take a moment to understand why getting feedback is important to you.

Need for Acceptance: Is the reason you are seeking feedback to gain favor or acceptance by a particular person or group of people? If this is the case, it doesn’t really matter what you are presenting for feedback, because you are focusing on making an impression instead of gaining real insight. Ask yourself why this particular person’s acceptance is so important. What do you hope to gain by being accepted? We all enjoy feeling accepted and being supported in who we are and what we are doing. The key reason for getting input is to gain insight that can help you make decisions about what you are doing. It is not to impress or position yourself. If this is all you are trying to do, then chances are you are not gaining the type of input you really need. Too often, when acceptance and support are the underlying reasons for input, those being sought for their opinions are not necessarily the best people to provide objective and educated perspective. While family and friends are wonderful confidants, they sometimes are not the ones best suited to provide you feedback on a particular initiative or concept.

Need for Perfection: If you take a great deal of pride in being thorough, detail-oriented and always doing your absolute best, input can become your means of assuring you don’t miss something or fail to consider something important to the desired end result. On the surface level, these are good reasons for input, but there must be a time in which you stop getting input and start moving forward. A need for it to be perfect has caused many great ideas to never get launched because of the continuous tweaking or seeking of more information. Don’t allow the perfectionist in you to get you stuck in analysis paralysis.

Fear of Failure: The fear of failure can wreak havoc on your ability to effectively ascertain the feedback you receive causing you to delay or continuously seek more input. If you receive any type of negative feedback, does this cause you to question your motives or actions even if you have received substantially more positive feedback? Do you find that your confidence is reliant on other’s opinions being in your

favor in order for you to proceed? Some of the best opportunities and solutions have actually resulted from failures that helped someone learn in ways they could not have possibly realized otherwise. Don’t allow the possibility of failure to stop you. Embrace the positive feedback and take into consideration the negative feedback and move forward.

Fear of Risk: If you are not a risk taker, then feedback is your way of getting the nerve to take what you perceive to be a risk. By getting feedback that is supportive or reaffirming, it is giving you permission to proceed more confidently. However, the downside to this is that if you get feedback that is challenging, you may too quickly dismiss the idea or effort. Feedback that is challenging is actually helping you. Don’t view the negative feedback as a sign of it being too risky. View it as an opportunity to explore the possibilities for something even better.

Getting feedback is valuable and a good practice as long as it doesn’t begin to cripple you from actually taking any action. Your reasons for getting other people’s perspectives is to gain valuable insight and valid considerations in order to make more informed decisions about what you are trying to do. Feedback should help you understand what is necessary to proceed effectively and proactively beyond your abilities or scope of knowledge based on the insights gained. Feedback should never hold you back, but more you forward.

When determining that you need input on what you are trying to do, ask yourself these questions to better prepare and gain the feedback that will be most valuable and helpful.

• • • •

What do you feel that you need to know that you don’t know or are uncertain about?

What specific questions should be asked to gain the type of feedback you need?

Who has experience or knowledge related to what you are trying to do that would be helpful?

What decisions will you be able to make based on the feedback that you currently cannot make right now?

Opinions cannot fully embrace your passion, instinct and belief in what you desire to do. How many times have you heard stories about people who accomplished something against all odds and against everyone else’s belief that it could not be done? When it comes right down to it, if you are passionate and truly believe that you are on the cusp of something exciting, unique or unprecedented, you just need to go for it.

Have faith in yourself and see where it leads you.

Bio: Sherré DeMao inspires millions through her monthly columns, weekly Insight eZine and national contributing writing. An expert strategist and marketer focused on entrepreneurs, her unique perspective and innovative approach has earned numerous awards regionally, nationally and internationally including being named among the Top 50 Enterprising Women of North America in 2007. Her books, Me, Myself & Inc. (www.memyselfandinc.com) and 50 Marketing Secrets (www.50marketingsecrets.com) have received national acclaim as Top Business Shelf picks and must-reads.

www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 27

Basic tools for every new cook!

Cooking is a basic life skill, as far as I’m concerned. Knowing how to cook is as important as knowing how to brush your teeth or how to drive a car. Well, knowing how to cook is probably more important than knowing how to drive a car because you have to eat three times every day of your life!

Perhaps you’re just now learning to cook. Maybe you’re starting out as a newlywed, setting up a kitchen as a college student, or perhaps you’re simply adopting a healthier lifestyle that requires you to learn how to cook. Whatever the reason, as a new cook, you need to stock your kitchen with the proper tools. If you don’t have a fortune to spend on kitchen tools (who does?), you’re going to love me because I’ve put together a list of what I consider to be the essential basic items each kitchen must have.

Knives

You’ll need an 8-inch chefs knife for chopping and a small paring knife for peeling. There’s no need to buy an expensive knife set when you’re just learning to cook. If you have these basics, you’ll be able to make just about anything.

Cutting boards

Get two cutting boards; one for meat and one for other items. I don’t care if they’re plastic, wood or bamboo, but you will need a couple of cutting boards.

Pots and pans

Get a good solid 10-inch stainless steel or cast iron skillet. Don’t buy non-stick cookware no matter how small your budget is. It is very unhealthy for you.

Dinner Diva The

By: Leanne Ely

pg 28 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | July 2013

You should have two pots: a large one for soup or pasta and a smaller one for grains and veggies.

A jelly roll pan, a covered casserole and an 11”x9” pan will help you cook a variety of items from roasting a chicken to broiling chicken breasts.

While they don’t necessarily fit in the pots and pans category, you will also need a set of mixing bowls.

Utensils

You’ll need a can opener, a vegetable peeler, a slotted spoon, a silicone spatula, a couple of wooden spoons, dry and liquid measuring cups, measuring spoons and a set of tongs.

These basic items might be plenty to keep you going indefinitely! If you find that you’re enjoying cooking more and more, you’ll likely start picking up odds and ends like a steaming basket, a salad spinner or a garlic press. All of these items help to cut down on a bit of prep work, but they really are simply convenience items. You can steam veggies without a basket, you can dry salad greens with a dish towel and you can mince garlic with a knife!

Leanne Ely is a New York Times bestselling author of Body Clutter and the Saving Dinner series. The Dinner Diva syndicated newspaper column appears in 250 newspapers nationwide. Learn how to cook great and save significant money with the Dinner Diva?s menus, recipes and shopping lists at www.savingdinner.com

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Inquiring Minds Want To Know...

by Susan Guest, ASID

Clients who have hired me for the first consultation are shy and embarrassed about me coming to their home or office. I try

to reassure them that I do not live in a palace and have three spoiled dogs that allow my hubby and me to live with them. Yes, I struggle with organization and keeping my home tidy and clean.

Fly Lady sends me daily emails with ways to keep clutter under control by doing small amounts of work daily. Some days I have time to read these and follow the advice. Other days I don’t.

Designers are real people too, and have “issues” with their décor and may or may not have time, money, or energy to deal with them. Most of us are not in the business for the money-there are many other career paths that would have been easier and more lucrative.

When clients interview me to potentially work on projects in their home or business, there are some questions that are almost always on the list. If you are working on a project yourself, or considering hiring a designer, these are some questions and answers that may help you.

1) What are the benefits of working with an interior designer?

A qualified designer is trained in many areas including space planning, handicap accessibility, public safety, scale and proportion,and art. Most designers attend markets, know the latest trends, and have access to many furnishings and fabric lines. A good designer strives to make each project fun and unique and strives to allow the client’s personality shine through the end result of each project. Designers in the two major industry organizations have to keep up to date in the field with continuing education units. Those who want to be at the top of the industry take a qualifying exam called the NCIDQ. Some states require passage of the exam in order to practice. Our state does not.

pg 30 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | July 2013

2) Can hiring a designer save you money? Yes! A good designer can save you money in several ways. Working with a professional will allow you to avoid expensive mistakes in your purchases by knowing exactly what to buy and when.

They can also create a phase plan which allows you to break your project down and purchase in stages, getting the highest impact and quality for your money. The designer’s vast professional network will provide you with referrals to the best subcontractors and discount outlets, saving you time and money. Good design is timeless... you are investing not only for today, but for your future.

3) How can I maximize my first appointment with a designer?

First, think about the goals you would like to accomplish and why. Magazine clippings of interiors that you like are helpful to the designer. A floor plan and an inventory with sizes and photos of your furniture or accessories that you’d like to keep saves the designer time, and you money. Pinterest boards and Houzz photos of rooms and items that you like give clues to your personal style.

4) Can I have a space that is totally my own that does not look like the current magazines and HGTV shows?

Absolutely! Most designers carry an interesting selection of furniture and accessories catalogues and have access to “to the trade” showrooms. I keep a shopping list for clients and search furniture and accessory markets for their special needs.

5) Can I update my home without spending a fortune?

Yes! Sometimes a few inexpensive items, such as pillows in current colors and designs, can give a room a lift. An accent wall in a bright color can add interest to a boring space. It is best to budget some money every year for maintenance or a

small project. Otherwise, you might be overwhelmed when the entire home needs to be updated at once.

6) What should I do if the entire home needs updating but I can’t afford to do everything at once? Again, it is better to try to break the home down into many smaller projects both for financial and sanity reasons. In certain situations, such as a home that needs to be updated to sell or for handicap accessible updates or redoing all of the flooring, the entire home might need to be done at once. Home equity loans or home improvement loans might be necessary.

Hopefully these questions and answers will help you in your next project. If you have further questions, email or call a designer near you. Remember that we are human and often have the same goals in our homes that you do.

7) Can you mix several different styles of design in one home?

Yes! I have worked on several homes that combine furniture from two or more different households with different styles.

One of the most challenging was a home at Lake Norman that required combining country and oriental furnishings. This was accomplished partially by incorporating woven wood shades and bonsai trees into the rooms. Many homes that I work on have items that have been handed down through generations that need to be included in a more contemporary room.

8) I enjoy doing my own design but have reached a snag and can’t seem to get things rolling. Can I hire a designer for a one time consultation? Yes. I have many clients that love to do things themselves and hire me for advice. Several spouses and friends have bought gift certificates for a loved one who needed help. What a kind birthday or Christmas gift!

Susan Guest, ASID is an award-winning interior designer in Hickory and owner of Guest Interiors, LLC. She is one of the designers featured in “Spectacular Homes of the Carolinas”, found in high-end bookstores around the country. For more information, visit www.guestinteriors.com.

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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 31

Recipes for ife

L

by Emily Wickham

Food for the Body Macaroni Au Gratin (Recipe adapted from a Food Lion box of elbow noodles) 2 cups elbow macaroni, cooked and drained 2 tablespoons butter 2 tablespoons flour 2 cups milk 1 teaspoon salt 1/8 teaspoon black pepper 2 cups shredded cheddar cheese Place macaroni in a greased glass casserole dish (8x8).

Melt butter in a saucepan on low-medium heat. Add milk and flour, stirring slowly until mixture thickens. Add salt and pepper. Scatter cheese over macaroni. Pour sauce over all and bake, uncovered, at 325 degrees for 30 minutes.

Enjoy!

A Prayer for God’s Blessing Loving Father in heaven, You overflow with outstanding qualities, yet I confess sometimes I’m too self-preoccupied or lazy to discern them.

Thank You for faithfully pursuing relationship with me and revealing Your matchless beauties. Please persistently grow my passion for You day by day. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Food for the Soul For years I made the quickie, boxed version of macaroni and cheese. Then one day I discovered this recipe for the homemade kind—oh, it’s so much better! I found it so delicious that for an extended time period, I prepared it practically weekly. Finally two sons voiced, “Enough!” as they tired of its rich cheesiness. My daughter, on the other hand, portrays another story. She still delightfully devours this simple yet scrumptious dish.

God the Father drew me to His Son, the Lord Jesus Christ, during my childhood. At ten years old, I knelt beside my bed and asked Jesus to be my Savior. Honestly I feared going to Hell, and I knew He would surely save me from such an eternal doom. My life truly changed from that moment on, though I did not instantly transform into a sinless girl. Indeed, sin will be a part of my lifelong story, but God graciously works in me and increasingly changes me to reflect Christ. My salvation occurred at one time, whereas my sanctification—the process of becoming holy—continues to this day. (Thank You, Father!)

Ever developing, my relationship with the Lord has deepened as He matures me. God deserves all credit, for unquestionably our relationship remains entirely His doing.

Faithfully He holds onto me and works His purposes into my life. Wonderfully He opens my eyes to lovely treasures about His awesome character. Because God Almighty pursues me, I learn and experience new truths concerning His qualities. The limitless beauties God possesses and allows me to uncover astound me. Let’s consider several: • •

•

God IS “… the Father of mercies and God of all comfort” (2 Corinthians 1:3, NASB).

God IS loving, kind, compassionate, and faithful: “The LORD’s lovingkindnesses indeed never cease, For His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; Great is Thy faithfulness” (Lamentations 3:22-23).

God IS the best listener: “… His understanding is inscrutable” (Isaiah 40:28).

•

God IS mighty and eternal, our Counselor and Peace: “… And His name will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Eternal Father, Prince of Peace” (Isaiah 9:6).

trying to “get it right”, please be assured “… that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus” (Philippians 1:6). He never lets go. He never gives up. He never stops loving.

Definitely God has imprinted many of these characteristics on my heart through experience. Joys and victories, trials and suffering—personal involvement in these realities create particular awareness within. It’s one thing to know God’s qualities intellectually … quite another to know them experientially. Amazingly the more I learn, the more I long to learn. Instead of becoming bored with spiritual actualities, the Holy Spirit uses what little I know to intensify my interest.

Just as I discovered an exceedingly better way to prepare macaroni and cheese, let’s ask God daily to delight us with new discoveries about Him. Sitting at His feet and basking in His love, we’ll experience untold joy. We’ll live the truth of 2 Corinthians 3:18, which declares, “But we all, with unveiled face beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as from the Lord, the Spirit.”

Of course, I haven’t always enjoyed passion for the Lord.

Especially in the early years of relationship with Him, I often desired other relationships more. Reading the Bible and praying frequently felt like duty rather than delight.

But God remarkably, resiliently retains passion for me. He never lets go. He never gives up. He never stops loving.

Dear friend, what is your story? Are you enjoying a thriving relationship with God through His Son, Jesus? I hope so, for He is like no other. Yet if you’re wavering in your faith, bogged down with boredom, or simply weary of

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Emily Wickham gently reaches women’s hearts as she teaches God’s Word. Through her Bible study, Reaching for Righteousness: Life ! Applications from the Book of Esther, and various writing endeavors, she encourages readers into close relationship with God. Additionally she hosts an annual women’s conference in Greensboro, NC. Visit www.proclaiminghimtowomen.com to read Emily’s blog devotionals and to learn more about life in Christ.

To contact Emily about speaking at women’s events such as retreats, luncheons, and conferences, please e-mail emily@ proclaiminghimtowomen.com.

Emily, who is grateful to God for His blessings, enjoys life with her wonderful husband and their four terrific children in western NC.

Dr. Ben Carson Ben Carson’s remarkable journey from tough, inner-city youth to historymaking neurosurgeon celebrates and illustrates the power we all have to excel and influence others.

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Dr. Barry Black A retired Rear Admiral, Dr. Barry Black served in the U.S. Navy for over 27 years. He has served as the 62nd Chaplain of the U.S. Senate since 2003.

www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 33

God , Marriage, & The Rest of Your Life I am not a theologian, psychiatrist, psychologist, or any professional trained in relationships. What I am, though, is a woman who has been married to the same man for almost 43 years. I have learned to realize through those years is what works for one couple may not work for another. That being said, here is MY list of the things that I feel have been most important in keeping our marriage on fairly solid ground.

Putting God first. I pray every morning, every night, and multiple times throughout the day. I pray while riding the lawnmower, working in the garden and sometimes while sitting silently watching the birds. I pray for God to guide me throughout my day, whether I’m at work or at home. I pray that I treat people the way I like to be treated.

Sometimes I pray out loud and sometimes it’s to myself, but it is always directed to the Grace of God and His will. I pray for the safety of my husband, children and grandchildren and I pray that the decisions that we make throughout our day are the right ones.

Respect. I have great respect for my husband and the decisions he makes. I don’t always agree with him and sometimes I do let him know that with great enthusiasm.

But regardless, I don’t feel that I could have lived with him for all these years if I didn’t have great respect for him. And I expect the same from our children and grandchildren. If you don’t have respect for your spouse, chances are that others won’t either.

Trust. This is truly a hard one. Especially when you have a few years behind you and all you see out there and on TV are the young pretty people. This has been a hard one for me, especially when I was younger. But now, I’m proud to be the age that I am. So, I may have a few battle scars, but I won the battles. And that’s the important thing.

Sickness and health. Some of the marital vows couples recite refer to the traditional vows of staying together and supporting each other in sickness and in health. As a couple, pg 34 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | July 2013

this is something we have faced multiple times, with each other and with our parents. It certainly hasn’t been easy at times, but I feel surviving through these things have made our relationship much stronger. Prayer and my faith have seen me through so much of this. Unfortunately, due to illness, I have seen many friends’ marriages fall apart. It truly breaks my heart when a spouse just walks away.

Money. It’s my understanding from what I have read that money is one of the top reasons for the failure of a relationship. I’m not a coupon queen nor am I a shopaholic.

I do buy a sale when it makes sense and if it’s for something that we need or will be used. I do find that we eat out a little more often than we used to. Sometimes it’s because a restaurant offers free pie with a meal or we have a coupon for a free entree with a purchase of one. Most of our financial decisions are not spontaneous ones. When we are making a large purchase, research is done and it is well thought out beforehand. I feel maturity has played a large part in the making of our financial decisions.

than the wedding. That helps renew my faith in the future of marriage. To me marriage involves just as much soul as it does heart. It’s not just what you show on the outside, it’s what you feel on the inside. I believe that is what God intended.

I am very blessed. My husband has seen me at my best, my worst and all of my in-betweens. And we are still together. The word “together” has been very important in our marriage. Even when we’re not physically together, I know he’s close in spirit. I love it when he calls and says, “Just thought I would touch base with you”. And I really like that!

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9

Critical

Mistakes Most Couples Make

By Dr. David

(Printed with permission)

Who hasn’t forgotten that their wife had a big deadline? Or perhaps you yelled at your husband unnecessarily, forgetting that he’d told you he had a late meeting at the office. Maybe you forgot your wedding anniversary or that it was your turn to pick up the kids from soccer practice. Mistakes happen.

These mistakes, dealt with immediately and remedied, cause little if any permanent damage. But, there are other mistakes that occur consistently over time and, like fine fabric left out in the weather, will easily tear apart under pressure.

These are the mistakes we want to avoid. In future columns we will introduce nine critical mistakes. Today we will look at the first critical mistake.

Stop pushing the plunger.

Stephanie and Tim have been married twelve years and have three beautiful children. By all accounts they are the All-American family. They have survived the tumultuous first years of marriage, made it well beyond the early years of child-rearing, and have purchased a wonderful home with several acres of land where they enjoy raising and riding horses. They have one significant problem: when they fight, they really fight.

Thankfully, this generally happy couple rarely fight. They love one another deeply and are fully committed to each other. They are active members in their church. However, they were embarrassed to tell me, in counseling, that when they fight they use language they would never otherwise use,

pg 36 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | July 2013

slam doors and make threats against one another. Stephanie has thrown dishes and Tim has broken the door jamb. They even pushed one another on one occasion. While they have vowed many times to stop this behavior, they say, “Our anger gets the best of us. When we’re mad, we’re likely to say anything.”

“I am really embarrassed at how I behave,” Tim said. “I don’t act like that with anyone other than my wife. I never lose my temper, not even with my kids, and they can push me to the limit. But, with Steph I want to make my point and feel she’s not listening to me. So, I know it sounds stupid, but I just yell louder. She yells at me and I yell louder.”

“It’s not just him,” Stephanie chimed in. “I act crazy. I don’t know what sets me off but I am a fiery redhead. I don’t like to lose. So, if I think what he is saying is nonsense, I tell him so. Of course, he doesn’t like it and there we go.”

Stephanie and Tim may be talking your language. You may be fighting in very destructive ways. Like the miners who push the detonator, sending debris in every possible direction, you may push the plunger on your anger, pushing emotions and language in every possible direction. If this sounds like you and your mate, you must learn some vital skills to avoid this critical mistake.

First, you and your mate must agree to call a time out when emotion starts to run high. The scriptures are clear about the problem with anger. “My dear brother, take note of

this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life God desires.” (James 1: 19-20) Here the apostle James is clear—two ears to hear, one mouth to speak carefully. We must practice really listening, not pushing our agenda. When emotion runs too high, which happens, you must call a time out and start again when both feel settled.

Second, agree to disagree. You do not have to agree on everything. It is perfectly all right to see things differently.

In fact, someone has said that if you agree on everything, one of you is unnecessary. While I won’t go that far, you and your spouse are different people. You were raised differently, are different in skills, education, temperament and sex.

In fact, the differences are so great it is a wonder anyone can live together. But, we can, and do, because differences are wonderful. Be careful, however, about demanding that your mate see things the same way you do. It’s not going to happen.

course, that you must agree ahead of time on the real issue.

One topic at a time. While it may be tempting to take side trips from one topic to another, it will only serve to confuse the real issue. Pick a topic and stick with it. It may be helpful to keep a pad and pencil handy to remind yourselves of your starting point, as well as a desired ending.

Finally, find solutions that work for both of you. Remember, rather than engaging in a downward spiral where one person “wins” the other “loses,” how about working on an upward spiral where you both feel like you reached a positive outcome? It takes creative discussions to find agreements that meet both of your needs. One sided victories are very hollow.

Finding solutions that work for both of you are wonderful experiences and draw you closer together.

Until we talk again, work on eliminating the first critical mistake from your marriage and replace it with a wonderful solution. Blessings!

The Apostle James offers another word for us. “What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you?” (James 4: 1-2) Selfishness and pride often stand in the way of giving in to your mate.

These are traits that must be managed in a healthy marriage.

Three, stay focused on the real issue. That means, of

Dr. David B. Hawkins is the Director of The Marriage Recovery Center in Seattle, Washington. He is the author of over thirty books, including the best-seller, When Pleasing Others is Hurting You.

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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 37

Our Monthly Feature

shutterbuggerz Here are some of the best photos from our June 2013 contest, “It’s All Black & White” Submitted By:Hayden Humphrey (12 years old)

Local Photos of Everyday people, places, and events as seen through the eyes of the area's professional and amateur photographers!

s h u t t e r b u g g e r z . c o m pg 38 | Shutterbuggerz | July 2013

Submitted by Jonathan Keller

Submitted by Heather Eller

Submitted by Kristen Carol Photography

www.shutterbuggerz.com

39

Submitted by Sweet Nothings Photography

Submitted by Jessica Hemphill

Visit Our Website For The Upcoming Monthly Themes!

40

Visit the website to view all the photos and to enter your photo into next monthâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s contest.

july 2013 Theme is "fire in the sky" (to be printed in the August issue) Here we are looking for photos that incorporate the use of the sun. Sunrises, sunsets, backdrops, etc....... We are looking for brilliant color and mood interpretation in this category. email photos to email@shutterbuggerz.com (limit 5 per contest)

Submitted by : Erin Annas

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Submitted by Ribbons & Chrome Photography

Submitted by Jennifer Crow

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Visit the website to view all the photos to enter your photo into next month’s contest. pg 40 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | Juneand 2012 42

Submitted byAlexandra Halsey Photography

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Submitted by Sweet Nothings Photography

44

Photo Submitted By: Kristen Carol Photography

Visit the website to view all the photos and to enter your photo into next monthâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s contest.

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Be Sure To Visit

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To Submit & View PHotos

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www.shutterbuggerz.com

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Submitted by Asma Khalid

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Visit the website to view all the photos to 2013 enter your photo into next month’s contest. pg | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | and June pg 40 |46 Sophie Woman’s Magazine | June 2012 46

Submitted by Della Williams Photography

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Submitted by Jessica Barnes

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