VOLUME 7 - ISSUE 11 / JANUARY 2012
Wo m a n ’ s M a g a z i n e
INSIDE: Girlfriends In God ~ She’s All Mine! | Page 15 Make This A Guilt-Free Year By Evolving, Not Resolving | Page 27 Recipes For Life ~ Food For The Body & Food For The Soul | Page 33 shutterbuggerz pg 40
INSPIRATION ~ EDUCATION ~ MOTIVATION
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essage M From The Editor: Judy Smith
Our november 2011 Winners
One thing I am hoping for with this article is that it gives someone hope that you really can accomplish many things if you set your mind to it. Everything might not be perfect but don’t let that stop you. So now I have a confession to make. I lied! Yes, you read that right and I am fessing up to it! Actually, it might even be worse than a lie….I plagiarized my column last month. Here is the thing. I did not mean to do it and I think the author will not really mind that much because He knows it was a completely innocent mistake. When I say He knows, I really mean HE KNOWS! Again, one point that I am trying to make is that I am not perfect. I am not an MD, don’t have a degree, nor am I a pedigree. Actually, I think that makes me a MUTT. Mutts are cute aren’t they?
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So here is what happened. I wanted to add the Christmas account out of the Bible from Luke Chapter 2. I went to my Bible Program that I have on my computer, found my scripture, copied and pasted it to a Word Document and sent it to another computer. A day later, as I was working on my article with the absolute best commentary I have ever written (you just have to take my word on that), somewhere along the line, it did not get saved to the right document. Who knows? I will always be honest about how computer illiterate I am. When it came time for me to send it to production, I compose the email, attach what I thought was the correct word document and sent it on. Then to my horror, the December magazine comes out and there it is….just the scripture by Judy Smith. I had plagiarized GOD. Now I know what you are thinking….I am headed straight for Hell. Fear struck my heart and I immediately tried to find others to blame. The press messed up or the graphic person didn’t transfer all of it. I know I wrote it and I know I sent it. But, after looking at what I sent, the shingle of blame fell squarely on my shoulders. Then I remembered another verse from the bible. “Ye shall not add unto the word which I command you, neither shall ye diminish [ought] from it, that ye may keep the commandments of the LORD your God which I command you.” This is in the Bible in Deuteronomy Chapter 4, verse 2. I didn’t write that, just sayin’. Even with mistakes, we are not in control and everything works out for the best. I wish I could say that was what was in my heart from the very moment God reminded me of that verse. Not me….I was telling God how great my commentary was and that I know it would have been very beneficial to all our readers! Will I ever learn? I have learned that I don’t have to be perfect for my Heavenly Father to love me and what a great thing that is…especially for the strong-willed child that I am. So let me finish with putting all of your minds to rest so you don’t worry about me going to Hell. Even with all my imperfections, I am a child of God and He loves me anyway. I am so glad He even loves Mutts!
Amateur Winner: Karen Parsons
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How To Be
The Front Porch
Girlfriends In God
by Judy Smith
She’s All Mine! by Mary Southerland
Fresh Start For A New Day
by Marilyn Nutter
Is This The End? Upcoming Events for 2012 Dr. Susan Flowers PhD
pg 3 | Message From The Heart pg 21 | Wedding Planner pg 33 | Recipes For Life
Soup Saves Money by Marla Ciley
16| Fitness Tips Health &
Improve Your Balance by Sharon Rashidi
The Best Year
Hot Home Trends for 2012 Written by Susan Guest
36| Kids Closet
by Jennifer Burnham
39| Taking Over The Women Are
Written by Mick Young
20| Full Potential
m o t i va t i o n
by Mandy Thomas
Embrace the Call of Destiny Builder by Kim Fletcher
Seek Quiet Space by Nicole Greer
Me, Myself, &
Make This A Guilt Free Year by Evolving, Not Resolving By Sherré Demao
By Wayne Deloria
pg 35 | Truth & Beauty by Teresa Pope pg 40 | Shutterbuggerz Feature www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 5
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s e r u t n e v d a s i M ’s
“I know you are, but what am I?”
What is it about birthing children that sometimes sends us as adults spiraling back down to the maturity level of a five year old? As I write this, I’ve just finished staring at a rather rude email I received after offering to send some snacks to my daughter’s Christmas party at school. Sure, my gracious offer had come on the heels of a message stating that my child can’t “eat paper plates and napkins,” so would I please send something from the list below, but still. Thinking myself a fully capable adult (probably my first mistake here, let’s be honest), I chose to ignore the jibe and offer to send something from the attached suggestions of snacks to send. Easy enough. I should probably confess that I felt a stab of pride at my act of service - of course it was kind of me to offer to send pretzels to my own child’s classroom Christmas party! My willingness to serve the PTO was met by an email of “yeahhhhh we already have that” that left me wondering just how uncouth it would be to reply with directions on what, exactly, that
lady could do with my pretzels attached to the email in picture format. I will say that I was sent an apology after the fact, but the whole situation left me wondering why we as adults often act like children at the most inopportune times. I mean, how hard is it for me to resist the urge to scream “In your face!” after I challenge my kids to a race up the sidewalk and then win? (Advance apologies to Savannah and Addison’s future therapist for that one.) And how difficult would it be for me to come up with an adjective that isn’t “poop face” when describing my husband to someone after he’s told me I’ve overspent at Target once again? So this year, I’ve decided that instead of keeping with the tradition of resolving to lose weight and inevitably speeding myself to the bakery of the nearest grocery store and rabidly screaming that I’ll take one of everything while foaming at the mouth, I’ll simply drive the speed limit to the nearest bakery and sensibly ask for one of each from their lovely assortment of pastries. While I hold a cup of tea and keep my pinky extended because that’s mature, right?
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 7
i n s p i r at i o n
by Mandy Thomas
HOW TO BE FABULOUS!
“Never Judge a book by its cover.” Really? Come on, y’all!! Southern women know better than anyone that there is nothin’ wrong with a pretty package. That said, there is one characteristic that a ‘Steel Magnolia’ is required to have. That, most obviously, is a kind heart. Hence the phrase I whisper dozens of times a day…”Bless your heart”. This is the ‘Inner Beauty’ that everyone is always chatting about. Yes…it’s a must. But, I guess I just ASSUME that the amazing gals I surround myself with already have this one down pat. Bless their hearts.
Here are the super official “Gracie Top 12 “ MUST HAVES” to be even more fabulous (Physically) for 2012…
So girls…hee hee, just this once…let’s cheer on those women who ROCK the OUTER BEAUTY!! Lets, ya I’m sayin’ it, be SUPERFICIAL!!!! Oh my goodness..this is soooooo fun!!! It is OK to care about what you look like!! Let’s paint the nails, add some sparkle, wear a SPANX, and buy that dang dress that we said was a little ‘too much’. I mean, really, WHY NOT???? I’m even gonna help y’all along…
• • •
• • • • • •
• • •
Anything paisley Fake eyelashes (The bolder the better…just sayin’) Leather (real or faux) motorcycle jacket Cowboy hat (love Charlie 1 Horse or Stetson) Black eyeliner (Think Marilyn Monroe) Appointment with Dr Cappizzi (hey, that ‘natural’ thing only goes so far! ;)) Long shorts (right above knee…NOT capri length) Riding boots (classic) High waisted flare pants (soooo Jill on Charlie’s Angels!!!! Oh..did I age myself??) Anything orange (yes…I said orange) A tailored blazor (that means waaaaay FITTED…show those hips baby!!) Whimsical patterns (check out Jude Connally and Skirtin’ Around..HOT!)
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There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to look, and feel, spectactular. I have a little ‘reverse discrimination’ test for ya. Check out my photo this month…ooooh, I look mean!!! And stuck up!! A bit Cruella Deville-ish! Some women would look at “That woman” and think all she cares about are material things. Give me a break, sugar!! Under that mink was a surgical drain… trust me, I had more concerns than money (all fine now ). In addition, my fake lashes ended up poking me in the eye later that night and I spent 15 minutes trying to get it out while laughing hysterically on the floor with my girlfriends. Well worth the pain, by the way, love love those things!! Haha!
Bottom line is that people are much kinder when I am in “Barn attire” than dressed up. THAT is just as wrong as the reverse. My point is this…The saying is correct. DON’T judge a book by it’s cover…READ IT, then say “That is fantastic…with the best darn cover I’ve ever seen!” Then say “Bless her heart”.
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pg 10 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | January 2012
Residential Living Assisted Living Health Care Services
by Judy Smith
What kind of sub-title is that you ask? Well, it is not what you think. Did you know that according to the National Association of Professional Organizers that January is Get Organized (GO) month? I really thought that I could put that off at least till June. After all, then that means I have to get all my Christmas decorations down and put away before February. Oh well, I don’t think any of my neighbors have really bought into my explanation when I tell them they ARE NOT the same red lights for Valentines that I used for Christmas! And No, I did not read that lights had to be down by Dec. 31st in the Homeowner By-laws. Can I not even have a month to recuperate from all that Thanksgiving and Christmas stuff I have been doing for the past two months? Do you know how much work it takes to get it all done? While I am at it, I want to know when did it become the wife’s job to make sure all the Christmas presents were bought….even for HIS side of the family. The side of the family that NO ONE can please! Somewhere, I got the idea that January was the month I get to rest my weary body. Now they’re telling us we need to get organized. I even get these strange looks from the other people in my office when they look around in my office. Well, it might look disorganized but I know where everything is at. Or at least, I can find it within a reasonable time frame. They tell me that I will have extra time if I organize myself but the last time I looked it was still only 24 hours in a day. Even if I could stretch it out to 25 or 26, I could get an extra hour or two of sleep that I lost on Black Friday hunting all those great deals that HIS side of the family wanted for Christmas. Another thing I am told is to hire a professional organizer that can help me with a system. I am not sure that would work any better than when I tried to hire a house keeper. My butt was dragging from all the cleaning I had to do before she got there. Besides, I have systems in place. Papers go on my desk, food goes in the pantry, trash goes in that plastic thing…it’s not rocket science. One thing they told me that I completely agree with…it can’t happen overnight. Well, Amen to that. I have been trying to get others organized and I must say it sure is taking a long time. Maybe, and I am just sayin’ maybe…..I will make that a New Year’s Resolution….for next year. I really need to think about it cause I hate making those blame things and then wind up breaking them. You know what I mean, don’t you? I hope you haven’t broken one already. People started asking me back in December what new resolutions I was going to make for the New Year. I told them I was making a resolution that I was not going to break my resolution to not make a resolution. Do you need for me to repeat that? Really though, if getting organized is your resolution, then you have this whole month to do it. Heck, since this is a leap year, they might even let you have an extra day. See, I just found my day to make up for Black Friday…yippee! Anyway, I gotta go. Now where did I put that bathroom paper?
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 11
i n s p i r at i o n
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by Marla Cilley
When Robert and I married 15 years ago my Grandmother told him I was bossy! Oh well you have to be known for something. I guess this is what happens when you are the oldest. My Granny started telling me to be “saving”. She had lived through the great depression, World War II, and had been widowed at age 29 with two children. My mother was eight years old and her brother was six when their father died. Granny had three mouths to feed. Granny told me this one thing that I think can help you with menu planning. She said, “Anytime you throw food into the trash from the refrigerator you have thrown money in the garbage can!” Think about dropping dollar bills down the disposal. We would never do that, yet each week we clean out our refrigerators and toss leftovers into the trash. Now don’t take this to the extremes the way I did! I subconsciously decided that in order to not throw food in the trash we could just eat out! You may not have leftovers in your refrigerator but they could be collecting on your backside. Eating out gives us a license to over eat because we paid good money for that food! Imagine that! We already have this way of thinking in our brains; we just need to adjust that to what we have in our refrigerators, pantries and freezers. In our “All or Nothing” way of thinking; don’t go to the other extreme by not cleaning out the refrigerator. My husband broke me of that one day when I looked up and said what are you eating? He said, beans! I started screaming in horror, “You can’t eat those they have been in there a month!” Then he said with a smirk on his face, “If it is in the refrigerator it’s fair game!” I almost gagged! Needless to say he didn’t drop dead! I am not telling you this to make you feel guilty! We have all done it. My reasons are to get your attention to what is happening in our homes because our perfectionism tells us we don’t have time. We have been told all our lives that we were lazy or stupid or both. We aren’t! We are smart creative fun-loving people who have been put down because our brains work just a little differently than the folks who raised us. Just like we had to practice our habits to establish them, we can take the same babysteps to learn how to plan what to eat and eat what we have planned! I like to plan for leftovers while I am making my menus out for next week. Wednesday is my soup day. I take those small amounts of things leftover to build my soup: Green beans, roast, potatoes, carrots and gravy. Add to that a can of crushed tomatoes or Rotel for spice and some more veggies and poof dinner is served. This may be the last day you ever have to toss food into the trash. We have a plan. When I think back I have never made a soup from scratch, it has always been from leftovers. Today I am making Potato Soup because I had some leftover mashed potatoes. I made extra so that I would have them leftover. This is the fourth meal they have been used in: Mashed Potatoes with Chicken Dinner, added cheese and put them in individual
casserole dishes with Pork Chops, cut a block and wrapped my meatloaf around them yesterday and today is Potato Soup. We can be creative when we make it a game. Our game is to see what we can do with our leftovers. This also saves us time because we have a plan for the food that is precooked! Our own fast food! 1st BabyStep: On Wednesday let’s clean out your refrigerator. It is SOUP DAY; write in on the calendar. 2nd BabyStep: Make a list of your family’s favorite soups. Here is ours; Chili, Beef Stew, Vegetable, Split Pea, Potato, Chicken Noodle and Broccoli Cheese. I am sure you can come up with others. Write your soups on your calendar on Wednesday. 3rd BabyStep: Plan your menus for next week around what leftovers you want in your refrigerator next Wednesday for your Soup Night! See how simple this is. If you want a big pot of chili, make a pot of red beans and rice. Leftover red beans become the foundation to your chili. If you want Broccoli Cheese soup then buy and extra stalk of Broccoli and steam it with another meal. Chicken Noodle Soup could be roast chicken and make the broth from the leftover carcass. Split Pea starts with leftover ham. Beef Stew start with a big beef roast, potatoes, carrots and gravy. And the Veggie Soup is all the odds and ends that didn’t work with the other soups. My Granny would always keep a container in the freezer for those little smidges of corn, green beans, rice or anything else that isn’t enough by itself. I love this! You can do it too! All it takes is starting with your Soup of the Week! Instead of making do; you plan for it! For more help getting rid of your CHAOS, check out her website and join her free mentoring group at www.FlyLady.net or her book, Sink Reflections published by Random House and her New York Times Best Selling book, Body Clutter published by Simon and Schuster. Copyright 2011 Marla Cilley Used by permission in this publication.
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 13
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She’s All Mine Today’s Truth
For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demon, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:38-39, NIV).
Friend to Friend
I have personally discovered that it is downright frustrating and completely impossible to live the Christian life when you are not a Christian. I tried. For years, I desperately struggled to trust God with only head knowledge of who He is and wants to be in my life. When that trust settled into my heart and life – well, life became a different journey altogether. I grew up in a Christian home, attending church every time the doors were open. I sang all the right songs, spoke all the right words and did all the right things in front of all the right people. I fervently prayed that my works would validate my faith and desperately hoped that by following the rules, I would please the Ruler. It was not until middle school that the spiritual integrity of a dynamic youth pastor made me hunger and thirst for something more. I wanted to know God and experience His unconditional love. One Sunday, I sat in my usual spot, clutching the back of the pew in front of me while wrestling with God over the condition of my soul and my eternal security. After all, I was a very active church member, a soloist and pianist for our worship services, and even directed a children’s choir. How embarrassing to walk down that aisle, admitting to everyone that I’d been living a lie. My mind argued that I knew all about God – and then the deeper truth of that argument hit me. Yes, I knew about Him but I didn’t know Him. That night, I met Jesus. My problems did not disappear but much of my stress did as I began to trust God, I mean really trust Him. Over the years, I have been taught by some incredible men and women of faith, but none more precious or more powerful than our grandchildren. My grandchildren call me Mimi … and words are pitifully inadequate when trying to express just how much I love being a grandmother. I have experienced a new and deeper level of love with the birth of each grandchild. Watching one of my grandchildren is kind of like watching my heart walk around on the outside of my body. I have a good friend, Lisa, who is a teacher at the school where my four-year-old grandson, Jaydan, attends pre-school classes three mornings each week. One day, Lisa happened to be on the playground when Jaydan’s class came out to play. She teasingly asked, “Jaydan, I don’t have a Mimi. Can I have yours?” Jaydan immediately whirled around, placed his hands on his hips and firmly responded, “No way!” Lisa smiled and said, “But Jaydan, don’t you want to share your Mimi with me?” Jaydan adamantly replied, “I can’t! She’s mine … all mine!” Wow! As I listened to Lisa tell me this story, I have to admit my heart doubled in size. And then I immediately thought about the way God loves me … and the way He loves you. God’s love for us is unconditional, boundless and fierce. 1 John 4: 8-10 (The Message) “Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love to us: He
sent his one and only Son into the world so that we could have life through him. This is what real love is: It is not our love for God; it is God’s love for us in sending his Son to be the way to take away our sins.” Trusting God begins and ends with the fierce love of God. Trusting God really is all about wrapping our hearts and minds and lives around the reality of God’s love. He loved us so much that He sent His Son to die for our sins so we can have an abundant life – now and eternally. You may find yourself in a frightening place filled with darkness and doubt. Your fragile heart may be wondering if God knows where you are of if He even cares. He does. You think that because you cannot see the hand of God or sense His presence it means He is not working. Nothing could be further from the truth, girlfriend. We may not understand or even like His process but let me assure you that God is always at work in our lives. He will always love you. He will come through for you and you really can trust Him.
Father, I want to know You and trust You with my whole heart and life. Thank You for loving me even when I doubt Your love. I praise You for being faithful even when my faith is small. Teach me how to walk by faith and not by sight. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Now It’s Your Turn
Read the following verses of Scripture and answer the questions listed below. Ephesians 2:10 “For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” How does this verse emphasize the fact that you and I were created in response to God’s plan, not as an afterthought or as an accident? Psalm 8:3-5 “When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is man that you are mindful of him, the son of man that you care for him? You made him a little lower than the heavenly beings and crowned him with glory and honor.” How do these verses line up with the way you see yourself right now? What one immediate change do you need to make in order to see yourself the way God sees you? Read and memorize Isaiah 43:4 and make it one of your life verses. “You are precious and honored in my sight, and I love you.”
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 15
I N S P I R AT I O N
by Mary Southerland
by Sharon Rashidi B.S. Health Education
e d u c at i o n
Improve Your Balance for a Stronger and Fitter You in 2012 When I was a teenager, I wiped out on my bicycle, tripped on pavement, and fell while walking down stairs, often. For years, I overlooked exercises to improve my balance. I did not realize that you can train for balance like you do for strength, power, and endurance. I now incorporate balance exercises into my Pilates classes. Having good balance, I found, has helped me lift weights with ease, glide through exercise participation and has substantially reduced my risk of falling. Are you out of balance? To test your stability, stand on your bare feet about a foot from a wall. Keep your eyes open, your chin up, your back straight, and your arms at your sides. Bend one leg up at the knee and see how long you can stand on the other leg. You should be able to stay up for at least 7 seconds before falling. The good news is that everyone can improve their balance, if they work on it. Balance training works best if you add it to your fitness training you already do (or should be doing). Day-to-day activities such as climbing up stairs and walking are important for balance. Add biking and even walking on the elliptical to help retain your equilibrium. Strength and flexibility training will also help by keeping your legs strong and lower body limber. If you need more help, consider group exercise classes such as Pilates, Yoga, and even Zumba for a stronger and fitter you in 2012.
STEP TWO- Lift your right leg off the floor and bend it back at the knee. Hold the position as long as you can maintain good form. Return to the starting position and repeat on the other side.
TIPS- As your balance improves, increase the number of repetitions. For added challenge, balance on the leg opposite the weight or while standing on a pillow or other unstable surface. EXERCISE NUMBER TWODUMBBELL SIDE-LATERAL BALANCE STEP ONE- Stand with your feet hip-width apart and your weight equally distributed on both legs. Hold the dumbbell in your right hand and raise your arm perpendicular to the floor.
BALANCE EXERCISES EXERCISE NUMBER ONE- DUMBBELL BICEP BALANCE STEP ONE- Stand with your feet hip-width apart and your weight equally distributed on both legs. Hold the dumbbell in your left and with your palm facing upward.
pg 16 | Sophie Womanâ€™s Magazine | January 2012
STEP TWO- Lift your right leg off the floor and bend it back at the knee. Hold the position as long as you can maintain good form. Return to the starting position and repeat on the other side. TIPS- As your balance improves, increase the number of repetitions. For added challenge, balance while standing on a pillow or other unstable surface.
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by Marilyn Nutter
Each year as we wait for the ball to drop at midnight, we hear news reporters ask the same question to those in Times Square crowd. “What’s your New Year’s resolution?” Though a few giggle and answer, “Not to make any resolutions,” many people mention “To go to the gym, to spend more time with family, to eat healthy, or to go back to school.” The common denominators are a fresh start and an opportunity to change. We want the coming year to be better than last, so we set goals and make decisions. We list them in the form of resolutions, but often by February, we break them. Perhaps our resolutions have been too big to tackle and we should have established smaller steps along the way. Perhaps we met with an unforeseen obstacle. Maybe we made our resolution or set a goal because we thought it was a good thing to do, but we don’t have the resources to see it through. Maybe we misjudged the effort involved. Whatever the reason, we join the “resolution dropout club”. Perhaps we qualify for membership because we spent too much time formulating goals to do rather than concentrate on who we are becoming. This year, would you consider resolutions for small daily changes to become the women God wants us to be? Here are a few thoughts to get started: Just for today, I will act wisely not impulsively. (Is that purchase really in my budget?) Just for today, I will pray before I make a decision. (We already have two other commitments that week, shall I add a third?) Just for today, I will speak with kindness and gentleness. (Hmm...maybe the clerk is having a bad day. Can my response encourage her?) Just for today, I will remind myself of God’s promises to me. (“My peace I leave with you…”) Just for today, I will laugh out loud. (Ok, no one is around, but this e-mail forward is really funny!) Just for today, I will take time to pray. (Why shouldn’t I give my schedule and concerns to the One who made me and orders my steps?) Just for today, I will intentionally stop and be thankful. (I woke up this morning. I have the gift of a day ahead of me!) Just for today, as I consider what I have “to do” I will remember what it is really important to my family and me. (I will seek joy and relationships, not accomplishment by crossing things off a list.) Just for today, I will be realistic. (I can’t please everyone; there is a limit to what I can do. I will try to separate the important from the urgent.) Just for today, I will tell someone I love them. (What would my life be like without this person in my life?) Just for today, I will remember that being busy doesn’t make me more important and that it is good to rest and refresh. (Can I take thirty minutes to read, exercise or take a nap?) Just for today, I will capture joy instead of happiness. (Can I stop and see the beautiful face of a child or enjoy the birds that come to our feeder?) Just for today, I will refrain from comparing myself with another woman. (God made me with unique gifts, skills and personality.) Just for today, I will listen rather than monopolize a conversation. (I might even learn something if I stop talking!) Just for today, I will remember to be steward of what God has given me. (Am I wasteful or sloppy with what I have?) Just for today, I will be a friend. (Is there someone that I need to call or email?) Fresh starts--knowing our limits, enjoying our uniqueness, living out our personal best, stopping for quiet moments, increasing joy… What can you fill in, “Just for today, I will________”?
Happy New Day!
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Marilyn Nutter has contributed to several compilations and online sites and is the author of Dressed up Moms’ Devotions to Go, Tea Lover’s DTG and Diva Delights DTG. As a mother and grandmother, Marilyn enjoys speaking to women’s groups about spreading the fragrance of Christ during the holidays. Visit her website at www.marilynnutter.com and her blog at http://grandmothersviews.blogspot.com
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 19
REACHING YOUR FULL POTENTIAL: Embrace the Call of “Destiny Builder” by Kim Fletcher, Life Coach, Author, Speaker
m o t i va t i o n
“I am a noticer… I notice things that others don’t.” Andy Andrews, The Noticer “I overheard you talking with that lady last week and I am still thinking about what you said.” These words were spoken to me by a patient in a health care setting where I was working recently (as a Physical Therapist by background, I return to the clinic occasionally to strengthen my skills and keep my license active). My heart sank initially, hoping she did not overhear confidential information. She quickly put my heart at ease. Here is the scenario she unsuspectingly dropped into by being nearby as I interacted with one of my co-workers. Earlier in the day, a Certified Nursing Assistant (CNA) had come to ask me a question about a patient. Her approach quickly revealed to me that she did not feel an equal part of the team, as she made subtle disclaimers punctuated with unnecessary apologies for interrupting. My recent clinical assignment had me working alongside this CNA for the past three months. I had become acquainted with the extra measure of compassion that characterized her care while also noticing the sadness in her face. On the particular day when our conversation was picked up on, I had been walking down the hall to a patient’s room. On my way, I had noticed this particular CNA at her desk. I gave little thought to what I was about to say. I simply approached her and called her name. Her body language braced for being reprimanded for her earlier interruption. She sat up straight and backed away slightly. I simply said, “Come here.” Coming closer, I placed my arm around her, with my left hand pulling her close to my side. I quietly asked, “When was the last time someone told you that you are great at what you do?” Simply seeking a chance to remind her that her earlier concern for our patient was fully appropriate, I did not expect her response. Large hot tears appeared instantly, trekking down her face as she replied, “No one has ever told me that.” I hugged her tight and light-heartedly stated, “Well, you are and you should never apologize for caring about your patients.” I was surprised at the instant empowerment that washed over her as she was given permission to see herself as a key member of the team. Her posture immediately straightened. Her eye lifted from their downward gaze and caught mine in a moment of her own ‘awakening’. I made light of what I knew was an identity-shaping moment, heading off to see my next patient. A short while later, we passed in the hall. She stopped me, took my arm and said, “You really made my day.” Her timid nature gave way to a new confidence as she boldly took hold of me in a tight embrace. I was captivated by the immediate change in her demeanor and my heart expanded exponentially at the honor of getting to invest in her that day. A full week later, while working with my patient in the gym, I heard the words that began this article… “I overheard you talking
pg 20 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | January 2012
with that lady last week and I am still thinking about what you said.” She had been the one who overheard my initial interaction with my new friend that day. She went on to tell me, “She changed that day.” When I asked what she meant, she stated, “You lit a spark that became a flame. After I overheard your conversation, she came into my room. She stood differently, talked differently and approached me differently. Something had definitely changed. I have been watching her for the past week, and the change is still there.” My heart was humbled as this teacher went on to proclaim that as she recovers and returns to the classroom, this simple interaction had sparked in her the desire to be on the lookout for kids who need to be encouraged. As my work assignment ended, I shared this story with one of the leaders at this facility. In part, I was overjoyed at the opportunity to invest in this wonderful woman. On the other hand, I was disheartened that she could be surrounded by co-workers and feel so overlooked. Immediately, the one with whom I shared the story asked if I had read the book, The Noticer. If you want a fresh perspective, pick up a copy of this book, read it as your new year begins and determine to become one who puts the principles into practice. The story unveils a man living in a poverty-stricken community where many are hopeless while he is on a mission to change the way people see themselves and those around them. This man, Jones, tells one stranger, “I am a noticer… I notice things that other people overlook. And you know, most of them are in plain sight… I notice things about people and situations that produce perspective. That’s what most folks lack – perspective – a broad view. So I give them that broader view and it allows them to regroup, take a breath, and begin their lives again.” What if you hold the power of a NOTICER? I believe you do! Let this perspective change the way you live. Choose to notice, take action and watch your own influence light a spark that becomes a flame.
As a Life Coach and Speaker, Kim coaches individuals and groups to become Destiny Builders while pressing in to reach their full potential. Kim’s newest book takes you deeper as you coach yourself to becoming your best: The Tension Point: Breaking Through to Where You Want to Be (November 2011 release). We would love to hear your story: firstname.lastname@example.org, 828 327 6702, creativelifenavigation.com.
Packing For Your Honeymoon When basking in the afterglow of a momentous wedding, most couples would rather think about scores of other things than packing for their honeymoons. But with ever-changing restrictions on what and how much a person can bring along on airlines and other modes of travel, packing is something that eventually must be done. According to the Honeymoon Study 2010 by The Wedding Report, a Wedding Statistics and Market Research organization, 81 percent of newly married couples take a honeymoon. The top honeymoon destination for those in North America is the Caribbean, where the average couple will spend $3,500 on their honeymoon. Although 15 percent choose to cruise to their destinations, the remaining likely drive or fly. In any case, packing becomes a part of the honeymoon planning. Some people are good at packing and can execute the task rather easily. Others are left with a bulging suitcase that won’t pass muster at security clearance or meet size and weight guidelines imposed by airlines. Nevertheless, anyone can become a packing pro with a few guidelines. • If you don’t already have a suitcase, choose a design with a hard case. This way it won’t expand while packing, and there’s no chance it will ever exceed the size limits. • Roll clothes because it will limit wrinkling. • Use a layering technique to fit a multitude of items and protect against displacement during transit. • Fill the bottom of the suitcase with the heavier items: shoes, jeans, jackets, and any gear or tech items. 1. Next, layer dresses and slacks so they lay lengthwise on top of the first layer of items. It’s okay if the ends extend over the edge of the suitcase. 2. Shirts and sweaters (if applicable) can be rolled and then layered next. Use any overhanging slacks and dresses to fold over the shirts and keep them in place. 3. Lightweight items, like lingerie and undergarments, can be placed on top. Also, include toiletries that are sealed in leak-proof bags.
• Be sure to know airline requirements in advance. While some restrictions have been lifted, the Traffic Safety Administration and the airlines themselves may have rules regarding how much liquid or sharp items you can bring along. • Keep important documents, such as tickets, reservation numbers and emergency contacts, with you in a travel bag. Any prescriptions you need should be carried as well. • Place an emergency outfit in your carry-on in the event your luggage is lost or temporarily detained. • Consider packing lightly and buying some necessities at your destination. • Sometimes it is less expensive to ship items instead of paying airline baggage fees. Investigate these options, especially on the return trip. • Take advantage of laundry service on honeymoons so you won’t return with a bag full of dirty items that need laundering right away. Also, doing laundry on your trip limits the number of things you need to pack because you can wash and rewear. • Make the most of the honeymoon by packing early. Come your travel day, you can simply hop in the car and look forward to the vacation ahead.
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Seek Quiet Space
The very first thing we encounter in the morning is the irreverent and irritating interruption of the alarm clock. This is just the beginning of the assault of noise and distractions that permeates our days. As our world begins to wake up, televisions, radios, conversations, and appliances begin to create a vibration of chaos all around us. Unnerved, we move from a state of rest to overload before the sun has even come up. Creating a quiet space at the beginning of your day is essential to our well-being. Just as a baby starts life in the womb. We need a place from which to birth the day. It must be a dark, quiet, warm and safe place that prepares us for life. In our quiet space, we’ll develop our senses and our capacity. Without this quiet space, we are delivered into our lives premature. Our ability to navigate the possibilities is immediately diminished. However, if we are given a space to incubate our ideas, our thoughts, and to calculate the output required for the day ahead we could take on the day with a fresh perspective on life. The greatest gift we can give ourselves is uninterrupted time to ponder, plan and prepare. Only in silence and solitude can we take stock emotionally, spiritually, physically, and mentally. We can create the ultimate quiet space by… •
Purchasing an alarm clock that gently nudges us from our slumber. Options are available that wake us up by slowly lighting our room. Other models can provide sounds from nature that woo us out of bed. Or we can use the harp setting on our I Phone’s that serenades us to rise and face the day.
Keeping a beautiful bathrobe & slippers at the end of our bed. This will help us carry the warmth of our slumber into our quiet space.
Using a coffee pot with an automatic brew setting that begins 5 minutes before our alarm time. This allows us to arrive in our kitchen with hot water for tea or coffee at the ready.
Creating a spot in our home where we will meet the day. This gives us a foundation for our new habit. Choosing a place with a window facing East (perfect for watching sunrises) with a comfortable chair, a journal, writing utensils, our calendar and reading materials will inspire the day.
Entering the space with reverence for our life and its creator gives us an attitude of gratitude to carry throughout the day.
Wearing pajamas that enable us to do some stretching or yoga that entices us to literally move into the day.
We start our quiet time with centering. This practice allows us to consent to the day. To consent means to agree with the day. Give it permission to unfold. We agree to show up today with our ‘best’ self. We listen for the small still voice inside that tells us we are not alone. Quiet is the space where we recognize our desires and release them into dreams so they can become our destiny. Tomorrow morning let’s rise and seek out our quiet space knowing that each time we enter this sacred space we are being prepared. …Prepared to make the possibilities probable.
“Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come. You wait and watch and work: you don’t give up.”
At its deepest level, working with a coach frees you to indentify your birthright gifts, discern your deepest passions, and fulfill your highest purpose. A coach can pry you off dead center. As Principal Coach for Vibrant Coaching and Workshop Leader for The Lydia Group, LLC, a collaboration of individuals focused on work, life and spiritual growth, Nicole is on a mission to impact, energize, and influence people to lead a Vibrant Life by engaging the possibilities. As a life and business coach and workshop leader, Nicole views her role as a conduit to release all that you want to achieve. Join me on the PATH to move forward with authenticity, skill and confidence. www.thevibrantcoach.com/www. thelydiagroup.com
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 23
m o t i va t i o n
By Nicole Greer, PPCC Founder and Principle Coach at Vibrant Coaching
Is This The End?
by Susan Flower, PhD Allegedly (again), the world is going to end on December 21, 2012 because the Mayan calendar ends on that date. Yes, you read correctly, many believe that in some way, shape or form, the Earth (or at least a large portion of humans on the planet) will cease to exist. How many times have we heard this ridiculous prediction in our lifetime? In fact, the apocalypse was called three times in 2011. There are a variety of popular beliefs about the year 2012. These beliefs range from the spiritually transformative to the apocalyptic. There are many disputes about the ancient Mayan calendar and modern day science has disputed the apocalyptic versions. But what do we really know for certain about this controversial New Year? Here are some of the amazing facts on what to expect. The most important event taking place for the state of North Carolina this year of course is the Democratic National Convention. This event will trump just about anything else that has taken place in this state within the last 50 years, possibly ever. The City of Charlotte will claim center stage in front of the world, impacting the growth and direction of this city forever. Of the 35,000 visitors expected to converge on our very own Queen City, 15,000 are expected to be members of the press. Naturally there will be thousands of delegates and of course President Barack Obama, the most important member of the Democratic Party today. Needless to say, every business in Charlotte that provides a service, product or venue should be building a better future by registering on the DNC Committee web site, www.Charlottein2012.com. This is our moment…don’t get left behind! With so many visitors traveling to Charlotte, the needs will be great. If you have a dog walking or pet sitting service, someone will need it. If you have a hair salon, nail salon or full service spa, someone will need it. If you detail cars, someone will need it. If you mow grass or landscape, property owners renting thousands of homes during that week will need you. Do not dismiss or discount the need for any service. If your business has clients now, it will likely have clients then. Every business should be known and visible on the site www.Charlottein2012.com. The best tip for residents of Charlotte in 2012, if you do not have a business now, create one! There will be some historic scientific things happening for the world of astronomy this year. This will be a leap year of course and the second largest object on record (13km x 13km x 33km) will also pass our Earth. How close will it be? The object is named Eros and will pass us from a distance of 16,640,000 miles away. This is just an object floating in space, not a planet, a moon or even a star. Amazing! There will be a total solar eclipse, visible in Australia and the South Pacific in November. The Mars Science Laboratory also known as the Curiosity Rover, is scheduled to land on Mars. Did you know that science has finally figured out how to get there? What’s new in medicine for 2012? Prenatal steroids, given to pregnant women at risk for giving birth prematurely, appear to improve survival and limit brain injury among infants born as early as the 23rd week of pregnancy. The National Institutes of Health conducted this study. In 2011, we commemorated World AIDS Day during the 30th year since the first reported cases of AIDS. This was a milestone that led
pg 24 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | January 2012
many to reflect on how far we have come since those dismal days when HIV infection was almost always fatal. Remarkably, three decades of scientific progress in HIV/AIDS prevention and treatment have brought us to a time when we can begin to glimpse an AIDS-free generation. In those 30 years, the National Institutes of Health (NIH) has established and continues to support the world’s leading research program on AIDS. Beginning with a drug called AZT, NIH scientists in partnership with pharmaceutical companies, have developed more than 30 antiretroviral drugs for the treatment of HIV/AIDS and established optimal combinations for their use. In parts of the world where HIV infection can be accurately diagnosed and where individuals have access to, can afford and adhere to these medications, life expectancy has dramatically increased. In 2012, the NHI plans to gather with colleagues from around the world at the XIX International AIDS Conference in Washington, D.C., to determine the next steps in research that will help translate the recent advances in HIV prevention into action toward ending the worldwide pandemic. In the world of technology, Pleiades, a proposed supercomputer built by Intel and SGI for NASA will be completed. It will reach a peak performance of 10 Petaflops (10 quadrillion floating point operations per second). Sequoia, another proposed super computer built by IBM for the National Nuclear Security Administration will be completed, reaching a peak performance of 20 Petaflops! Will the average person have access to that type of technology? Not in this lifetime but we will have the first quad-core smartphone this year! What does that mean? Simply put, if you believe your 4G Android is fast now, just you wait! If you have not upgraded to 4G yet, don’t bother. Wait for the quad-core! In sports, the world will finally have its first Youth Olympics in Innsbruck, Austria, January 13 – 22. It’s about time! The 2012 Summer Olympic Games will begin on July 27 and close on August 12 in London, England. Speaking of which, Queen Elizabeth II will celebrate her Diamond Jubilee, marking the 60th anniversary of her coronation and the 60th anniversary of her becoming the Head of the Commonwealth. So what is all the crazy talk? We’ve all heard these doomsday predictions before, we’re still here, and the planet is still here. Most of us will outlive 2012 and the planet will continue to outlive us. The Mayan Prophecy is gaining strength and appears to be worrying people in all areas of society unnecessarily. Forget about it. Forget Nostradamus, forget the Y2K bug, and forget the credit crunch. Live every day as if it’s your last!
Susan Flowers, PhD is a Speaker/ Multimedia Journalist/On-Air Personality for WGIV. As the reigning Ms Black Charlotte USA, she champions the cause for Cancer Awareness & the Cure. For bookings or to learn more visit www.SusanFlowers.com or Facebook.com/DrSusanFlowers.
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Me, Myself, & . c In
Make This a Guilt-Free Year by Evolving, Not Resolving!
Did the holiday season have you counting your lists and checking them twice with total overwhelm in how you were going to get it all done? Instead of being able to enjoy holiday festivities, were you consumed by how you were going to cram it all in? Now the New Year is upon us and a whole other realm of demands and expectations have set in. What I am talking about are those blasted self-imposed New Year’s resolutions. The problem with resolutions is that they immediately feed guilt and focus on what didn’t happen, we didn’t get accomplished, we wished were different, and the list goes on. I have a philosophy about resolutions. To illustrate, let’s take a look at the word, “resolution.” The prefix “re” derives from Latin which means “again and again” or “repeat.” Then the word “solutions” means to find an answer or solve a problem. “Solution” by itself is a good thing to strive to find and identify. However, it is the “re” that gets us into trouble. I have come to the conclusion that New Year’s resolutions, by their sheer nature, are a self-fulfilling prophecy of being revisited and revisited year after year, with most never to be resolved. How true has this been for you? How many years in a row have you had a particular resolution that never seems to become a reality? I propose that you make New Year’s Evolutions instead. Making New Year’s Evolutions still requires that you reflect back. It is always good to reflect and look back to gain insight and learn from our experiences. The difference is that with resolutions, all too often, we become absorbed by looking back at everything that wasn’t as we had hoped or where we wanted a particular situation to be. When you shift to an evolution mindset, you are celebrating all that you were able to make happen and accomplish. You focus on what will bring you joy, satisfaction, enlightenment, inspiration, and gratification. You approach successes with a reward mentality versus failures with a deprivation mentality. Can you begin to understand why having New Year’s Evolutions will help make your life and work flow more to your liking? The transition into a new year symbolizes an opportunity to grow, an opportunity to explore and experience life, and an opportunity to accomplish more and be more. It is not about fixing what is broken or changing. It is about evolving … how you want to evolve, how you want to see your life evolve, how you want to see your business, work and career evolve. Evolving is empowering. Resolving is pressure. Evolving is defined by purpose. Resolving is defined by problems. Evolving is moving forward. Resolving is looking back and feeling the need to fix. Are you beginning to see what I mean? But wait a minute, you ask … what is wrong with wanting to change something? Well, in my opinion, “changing” is focused on
the negative, whereas “evolving” is focused on the positive. How often do you find yourself wishing a particular aspect of your life or work would change and that is about as far as you get? This is because you are focused on the problem and are stuck in the negativity of the problem. When you are in an evolving mindset, you are viewing things in a more positive light. You are more open to looking beyond the problem and identifying ways to get beyond the problem. You are more inclined to consider simple shifts in behavior, the way you approach something, or the way you are doing something to get a different outcome. A perfect example of my personal shift from “resolutions” to “evolutions” is years ago, for the umpteenth year in a row, I was determined to get back down to a particular weight. My focus was on the fact that I saw my weight as the problem and I wanted to fix it based on what it once was years ago. But then I had my epiphany about “resolutions.” So that year, I focused on how I wanted my body to evolve versus how much I wanted it to weight. My New Year’s Evolution was to have a leaner, energized body full of vitality and stamina, health, fitness and mental acuity. And guess what? By focusing on the overall outcome of what I desired, I made many simple shifts in my eating, my exercise, and my daily routine that ultimately resulted in not only achieving this goal, but guess what else? I actually got down to that weight that I had been striving to achieve for years!! The reason I was able to do this is because I was inspired by my desire versus frustrated by it. I was inspired by what the little things I knew I could do to make that desire a reality. The best part of all in adopting a New Year’s Evolution mindset versus Resolution mindset is you will no longer feel guilty about what you didn’t accomplish last year, but instead will be excited and invigorated by how you will be continuing to build upon who you are, how you are and what this will mean to your life, work and for those around you. Now that is the way to kick off a new year, don’t you think?
Bio: Sherré DeMao inspires millions through her monthly columns, weekly Insight eZine and national contributing writing. An expert strategist and marketer focused on entrepreneurs, her unique perspective and innovative approach has earned numerous awards regionally, nationally and internationally including being named among the Top 50 Enterprising Women of North America in 2007. Her books, Me, Myself & Inc. (www.memyselfandinc.com) and 50 Marketing Secrets (www.50marketingsecrets.com) have received national acclaim as Top Business Shelf picks and must reads.
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 27
m o t i va t i o n
By Sherré DeMao
M O T I VA T I O N
by Wayne DeLoriea
Resolutions abound this time of year. We vow to make changes in our lives only to give up when temptation becomes too much. While it is good to take a look at our lives and make a decision to grow to become better people, there are things we can do to make success more likely. As an Internationally Certified Master Fitness and Senior Fitness Instructor, certified in 80 countries around the world and certified Sports Nutritionist please allow me to help you prepare for your success. We fail, most often, because we are not prepared for the battle we are certain to engage in. Realize and admit that the battle is certain and will be difficult. After all, resolutions are commitments not wishes. So, how do we set ourselves up to succeed? “One important key to success is self-confidence and the important key to self-confidence is preparation.” Arthur Ashe First, let me set the stage by giving you some ammunition in the form of inspiration. In order to win…you MUST be willing to lose…otherwise you never get in the game. Make your wish list and then develop the important issues into resolutions. Build in realistic expectations and timelines. If you want to lose 50 lbs don’t kid yourself and think you’ll do it by the spring of this year. You know there will be birthdays and holidays during your timeline so you have to allow for cake and ice cream…otherwise you’ll feel out of control, deal with guilt, failure…and give up. Eating cake is necessary to your emotional health. Eating cake everyday will kill you. Be realistic! In order to win in life you have to be willing to lose…and if you do lose, embrace yourself but don’t coddle yourself. Embrace the loss but don’t embrace losing. “My great concern is not whether you have lost, but whether you are content with your loss.” Abraham Lincoln Realistic expectations are goals that will be accomplished on their own if the plan is good and you follow it. Build in flexibility and loss. You WILL fall…just don’t be WIILING to fall. Fight to stay up and moving toward your goal…no matter what. When you have good days encourage yourself and when you have bad days…encourage yourself more.
“I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. Twenty-six times I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve lost over and over and over again in my life…and THAT is why I succeed.” Michael Jordan Now that we have a realistic expectation and given ourselves time to accomplish the goal we have to do one more thing before we start. Ask yourself why you want to make this change. This is the hardest part of the resolution process…because it takes honesty. There are healthy reasons and unhealthy reasons for making changes. Successful people succeed
pg 28 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | January 2012
because they choose positive motivations. These people seem to make changes that last and stand the test of time. They don’t backslide as often. The Bible lists positive motivations in terms of love. In order to make positive change in your life and have it last your lifetime…you must love yourself enough to endure the battle and succeed.
“Love is patient, love is kind, and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, “ --Paul in The Holy Bible, I Corinthians 13:4 Don’t confuse self love with pride, conceit or arrogance and remember nothing positive is likely to walk up and jump in your lap. You have to work for it and if work was fun it wouldn’t be called “WORK”. Change is HARD…but can be worthwhile. WHY do you want to make these changes? Take the time…do the work… and develop positive reasons like health rather than loneliness, vanity or envy. “God helps those who help themselves.” Benjamin Franklin Why do you want to change yourself, your life your circumstances? After all, “Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are.” Malcolm S. Forbes Take serious heed of your motivations… “Everything you do is practice. Done right, we practice ‘good’; done wrong we practice ‘bad’. Doing ‘good’ in life or doing ‘bad’ in life…it’s all practice and I promise you this, you’ll get good at what you practice.” DeLoriea My wish for you is for the happiest most accomplished year of your life. Happy New Year! Love, Coach National Director of Activity and Exercise, Owner & Operator of Coach’s CORE Fitness Studio, former NASCAR Coach, Master Fitness Instructor, Personal Trainer and Sports Nutritionist Wayne DeLoriea, one of NASCAR’s most successful coaches, certified in 80 countries around the world and author of “Coach Without A Whistle” and “$elling Your$elf…There’s Magic In the Approach”, joins nchealthylifestyles to help you realize and attain your nutrition and fitness goals. You may contact Coach at: www.deloriea.com
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A unique new practice to care for your entire family Dr. Shital Patel and Catawba Valley Medical Group have created an exciting new kind of practice in Newton: Catawba Valley Family Care. With her combination of internal medicine and pediatrics certification, Dr. Patel is uniquely qualified to care for your entire family, from infancy to geriatrics. So your family can enjoy the convenience of sharing one practice, in the comfort of a patient-friendly environment, with a caring staff who treats you like family. Conveniently located on South Main Avenue in downtown Newton, Catawba Valley Family Care is open Monday through Friday, and the practice is now accepting new patients. To learn more, or to make an appointment, call 828/464-7770.
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The Best Year Ever! Hot Home Trends For 2012
Another trend that has resurfaced again is PEACOCK FEATHERS. Peacock blue, feathers, and the actual bird are popular in accessories and color inspiration. RETRO FURNITURE-from the 50’s is a hot thing right now. Items from consignment shops and parent’s basements can easily be incorporated into today’s interiors. Fun items like floor lamps and other vintage accessories can add personality to your room. FRETWORK patterns are also a reoccurring trend. This is a geometric pattern that was popular in the late 60’s and early 70’s. Walls, rugs, pillows and upholstery sport this spunky look. This pattern should be used in small amounts such as an accent wall or pillows since it can play tricks on your eyes! PAISLEY patterns are creeping back into the market. The old jewel tone paisleys have been replaced with oranges and brighter blues.
My favorite new tre motif is used on cha not only in the trad creams. Go “Old Glo
OUTDOOR FURNISHINGS are still a hot trend. Since most of us are not moving to a new home or building right now, we have to increase our home sizes by creating exterior living spaces. One of my best selling items is outdoor rugs that can be used inside for those with pets or children.
THE BEST YEAR EVER!
My favorite new trend is the AMERICAN FLAG. This patriotic motif is used on chairs, benches, and pillows. The flag is used not only in the traditional colors, but in neutral tans and creams. Go “Old Glory”!
HOT HOME TRENDS FOR 2012
Yes, another year! Out with the mistletoe and holly; in with resolutions and a fresh start for 2012. It is also time to by Susan Guest, ASID rethink your environment to give you the best life you can Yes, another year! Out with the mistletoe and holly; in with resolutions have.
and a fresh start for 2012. It is also time to rethink your environment to give you the best life you can have. You’d think that we would have seen everything by now; You’d think that we would have seen everything by now; but there are still some fresh home ideas and trends out there. Here are some of the but there are still some fresh home ideas and trends out there. hot trends in decorating across the nation.
Here are some of the hot trends in decorating across the
One of the big colors is ORANGE. At the last High Point market, all nation. shades of orange showed up in many different ways-pillows, rugs, accessories, floral arrangements, walls, and upholstery. With people not buying as many big ticket items for their homes, the bright accent colors are being used to update a tired look.
Out with the old, in with the new! If you can’t afford to buy any of the new trends, be creative with what you have. Rearrange your room, make a pillow out of a sweater you no longer wear, clean your windows to bring in more light. Remember to donate. Your discarded items will be someone else’s treasure and you’ll have less to clean! Let’s make 2012 the best year ever!
Orange accents in rugs, upholstery, and accessories can add excitement to a tired room. Orange accents in rugs, upholstery, and accessories can add excitement to a tired room.
Susan Guest, ASID is an award-winning interior designer in Hickory and owner of Guest Interiors, LLC. She is one of the designers featured in “Spectacular Homes of the Carolinas”, found in high-end bookstores around the country. For more information, visit www.guestinteriors.com.
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 31
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pg 32 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | January 2012
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RECIPES FOR LIFE
of a disadvantaged family, you can fix the ziti in a foil pan and give them the entire casserole. • Research local rescue missions, homeless shelters, and soup kitchens in your area. * Ask how you can help – whether in big or small ways – and plan a consistent time when you can use your talents for others’ benefit. • Ponder and pray about starting a food pantry at your church. • Contemplate financially supporting a local ministry or charity that is already aiding people in the same ways you would like to assist them. • Keep a pan of baked ziti in your freezer – just put the recipe together and freeze before baking. Being equipped to share with others at a moment’s notice will help us actually do so.
by Emily Wickham
Food for the Body Baked Ziti (Original recipe from Family Fun magazine; shared in church cookbook by Robin Parish) ½ lb. dried ziti 16 oz. Ricotta cheese (part-skim) 3 c. shredded Mozzarella cheese, divided 3 c. spaghetti sauce ½ c. grated Parmesan cheese Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Bring a large pot of salted water to boil and add the ziti. Cook until tender, about 8 minutes. Drain the pasta. Place the ziti in a large bowl. Mix with the Ricotta and half of the Mozzarella. Grease a 9x13 inch casserole dish. Spread half of the spaghetti sauce on the bottom of the pan. Add the ziti mixture and cover with the remaining sauce. Sprinkle with Parmesan and the remaining Mozzarella. Bake for 20 to 30 minutes or until the casserole bubbles on the edges. Yield: 6 servings.
A Prayer for God’s Blessing Dear Heavenly Father, You are Jehovah-Jireh, God our Provider. I confess many times I take for granted the food You supply. Thank You for graciously caring for my physical needs and giving me daily nourishment. Please open my heart to share more freely with those who are hungry, that they might be blessed by You through me. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Food for the Soul We’ve all seen them: the homeless. They sit at the end of our highway exit ramps with scrawled signs. They’re bedraggled and pitiful looking – helpless and hopeless. A brief glance at them distracts my focus from getting to my destination. Their need poses an inconvenience to me. I don’t have time … so I usually drive by. I feel compassion … yet leave them behind. And they keep sitting. Hungry and cold. January is the time of year when we set new goals and begin to implement life changes. We set our minds to self-created tasks and diligently work towards attaining them. We’re particularly focused on bettering our life situation and ourselves. Yet the sad truth remains: there are countless people in our city and its outskirts who are simply struggling for food each day. They’re hungry. If you’re anything like me, we sometimes obsess about checking off our “To-Do List” items, fret about what outfit to wear, or invest too much time deciding what haircut to get. While we’re self-preoccupied, they’re hungry. While we’re enmeshed in countless activities, family responsibilities, or enterprising business goals, they’re hungry. So what can one woman like me or you really do to help? Let’s consider the following ideas: • Prepare a pan of baked ziti for your family plus another one for those in need. Package a generous serving in a disposable container, wrap with foil to keep warm, pair with a tossed salad, and deliver this easy, delicious meal to a homeless person. Add a personal touch by including a brief, hand-written note of encouragement. Also, if you know
The Bible tells us, “If you give yourself to the hungry, And satisfy the desire of the afflicted, Then your light will rise in darkness, And your gloom will become like midday” – Isaiah 58:10. There’s no question about it: life is hard. Life is busy. Yet God is personally interested in people’s needs, and He wants to use willing hearts and hands to meet those needs. We should be more concerned about easing someone else’s burden than relieving our own difficulties and sorrows. When we assist others with physical basics, opportunities to offer spiritual hope often arise. By giving someone a simple meal in Christ’s name, we can be lights in an increasingly dark world. And amazingly, sincerely serving others will lift our spirits by granting us more appreciation for what we already possess. Sounds to me like a win-win situation. Many already serve the poor in incredible ways. Their selflessness and dedication inspire me to do more. If you feel likewise, let’s set a goal this new year of personally reaching out to the impoverished people we see or meet. Let’s look them in the eye and lend a helping hand. One serving of baked ziti isn’t that much – but it’s a start. We never know what an impact it can have on the one whose hunger it satisfies. Truly, a simple act of kindness done in “the strength which God supplies” (1 Peter 4:11) really will make a difference. Until next time, that’s a Recipe for Life! *As a starting point, I recommend: Hickory Soup Kitchen www.hickorysoupkitchen.org Ph. #828-327-4828 The Corner Table www.thecornertable.org Ph. #828-464-0355 Safe Harbor Rescue Mission www.safeharborrescuemission.org Ph. #828-326-7233
Eastern Catawba Cooperative Christian Ministry (ECCCM) www.ecccm.org Ph. # 828-465-1702 Emily Wickham, published author, speaker, and founder of Proclaiming Him to Women Ministries, gently yet powerfully teaches God’s Word in a practical way that promotes life change. She seeks to exalt Christ and encourage women in every aspect of ministry. Her bi-weekly Bible study takes place in Hickory, NC, and her weekly blog devotionals can be read at www.proclaiminghimtowomen.com. Emily welcomes opportunities to speak at women’s events such as retreats, luncheons, and conferences. Please feel free to e-mail her at email@example.com. Emily resides in Newton, NC with her husband, Mark, and their four children.
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg33
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pg 34 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | January 2012
by Teresa Pope, Esthetician
QUESTION: I have two questions about products. The first one is about the mascara commercials that show the model or celebrity with extremely long and thick lashes. Do these mascaras really work that well? The second question is, Do lip plumper’s actually work? ANSWER: Oh, If only they did work like that!! but the sad truth is; they do not. If you will pay close attention to the bottom of the screen or the very small print on the bottom of the page, you will see that it will say something like, “lash extensions applied for photo” or “lashes applied before product”, or it may be stated in a variety of ways, that are meant to lead you into believing that it is their product that made those lashes look that thick and long. Mascara is a marvelous product, as all women know. It is the one product that most women say they can’t live without. However, there are limitations to what it can do. If your lashes are thin and short, no mascara will make them look like the lashes in the commercials. You do, however, have a couple of options. Using a mascara product that comes with a primer coat will help your lashes look a bit thicker. There are also, products that help you grow your own lashes. Some you can buy from a salon, spa, or perhaps the cosmetic isle in the drug store. They do help your lashes grow somewhat, but the growth is minimal. Your best bet is to use the prescription product, “Latisse”. I have written about Latisse in a previous article so I will not go into all the information on how it works and why, except to say that everyone I know that has used it, has been extremely happy with the results. As to your second question about “lip plumper’s”, there are two types. There are the semi-permanent ones such as Juvederm, Radiesse, and Restylane. Which are injected into your lips to give you firmer, fuller lips. The results are immediate and last from 3 months to a year depending on the amount and product you choose to use. The other type of lip plumper’s only last for a couple of hours and they work by increasing the blood flow to your lips, giving them a slightly swollen appearance. They do work, but you can also get the same affect by gently biting your lips until you fill the increased blood flow. I even have a friend who would pucker her lips and then gentle slap them with the flat side of a comb for about one minute. I know it sounds ridiculous, but it works! And yes, I admit, that I have tried it a time or two, and it does give a pretty pout! So don’t laugh, until you’ve tried it. Finally there is one more option that is permanent. You can have your lips injected with your own fat, your lips will stay full for many years, but it is costly and your body will eventually absorb the fat back into your body and you will have to have it done again.
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 35
How to Organize a Child’s Closet The hustle and bustle has come to an end, the decorations are all back in the attic. The New Years Resolutions have been made, written down, and committed to. Who committed to “Being Organized in 2012”? Most Americans add organization to the New Years Resolution each year; I believe it ranks right under losing a few pounds. I’m here to help you keep that resolution all year long! Each month I will give you ideas on how to organize a different area in your home and life. Live Simply -- make that your new motto! For January, I want to address a demanding area for most families -- Kids Closets! We all struggle with keeping our own clothes closet neat and orderly, but I have found that kid’s closets are a real challenge. I wanted to share some ideas on how to create an organized closet for your little one. First, some challenges that are common: • Kids grow so quickly that what fit last year will probably not fit this year • Not having ‘kid height’ space to allow your little one to dress herself • Creating an inventory system that allows you to pass clothes down to younger siblings • Rotating seasonal clothing in an out Now, some ideas on how to make this a much easier process for you and your little one: • Kid height clothes shelf or rod • You can purchase double hanging rods from Target, Bed, Bath & Beyond, etc • OR...‘Build’ another shelf using ClosetMaid shelving (Lowes or Home Depot) • Children love to dress themselves whether it is for church or to play dress up. Allow them to creatively express themselves, and begin to teach them how to choose outfits. • Take this opportunity to also teach them how to put clothes back in the closet when they are clean (you will thank me for this when they are older) Rotate seasonal clothing • We should do this first and foremost in every clothes closet in our home • Store summer clothes in a Tupperware bin during winter months -- vice versa for winter clothes in summer months • This will free up a ton of space. Neither you or your little one will be fumbling through tank tops looking for the snow outfit • Create a working inventory system IF you plan to pass clothes down to younger siblings This is the biggest challenge I see when working with moms and kids You have clothes that were passed down from friends and relatives, and more clothes that you want to continue to pass down.
pg 36 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | January 2012
My first reaction is -- You don’t have to keep everything that is passed down and you don’t have to continue to pass every piece of clothing. Toss anything with holes. Donate items that are trendy and ‘in style’. There is no guarantee that the younger sibling will want to wear a full wardrobe that belonged to her sister 4 years ago. Set up an inventory system that is simple but functional • Buy several Tupperware bins from Walmart or Target. I suggest same size and color. Gather all clothes that no longer fit Separate by style (winter, summer) Separate by size (2T, 3T) Place each seasonal size in its own bin and label Girls, Summer, 3T Boys, Winter, 12-24MOS
• • • • • • • I highly suggest gathering and sorting before purchasing bins. You want a clear idea of how large the bin should be for each season and size. • Store bins on the top shelf of the closet or in an attic. • Make it fun to get dressed everyday Some kids closets offer more than enough space for clothes, shoes, hats, purses, or any other accessory that your little one has If you have a walk in closet: • Create a mini dressing room • Mount a mirror to the back of the closet door • Use hooks for hats, scarves, or purses • Use a miniature coat or clothes rack to ‘display’ the next day’s outfit • Hang a curtain panel that mimics your child’s style (pink and purple, toy trucks, etc) • Shower curtains or curtain panels both would work • This makes the closet more visually appealing and fun • Who wouldn’t want to learn how to match clothing in a fun closet? • Add color and pizzazz • Paint the closet or just a wall • Add removable wall decals with pictures of your child’s favorite animated toy (Dora the Explorer anyone?) Above all, invite your little one to help with ideas. Make sure you include her in the design. The more she feels special and creative, the more willing she is to learn!
Jennifer Burnham Pure & Simple Organizing
www.facebook.com/PureandSimpleOrg Photos from www.bhg.com
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Ron Harwell, R.Ph 317 East 1st Street Conover 828.464.4491
© 2011 Medicap Pharmacies Incorporated, a Cardinal Health company. All rights reserved.
Kelly has gone from a size 8/10 to a 2/4.
Cardiovascular Machines •Weighted Circuit Machines • Free Weights
Search: uptalker1 for workout videos
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 37
A Trip To Our Office Could Save Your Life
In-Office Mammograms Now Available
Now it’s easier than ever to protect yourself from breast cancer with our in-office mammography. One out of every eight women will get breast cancer in her lifetime. Fortunately, early detection with mammograms saves thousands of lives each year. Catawba Women’s Center is proud to now offer convenient in-office mammograms that can be done the same day as your regular appointment.
Images read by radiologists specializing in breast imaging TECHNOLOGY State-of-the-art digital mammography SAVINGS Lower in-office copays may apply *
Yearly mammograms are recommended starting at age 40. Call 828-322-4140 today to schedule yours.
828-322-4140 1501 Tate Boulevard, SE | Suite 201 | Hickory www.CatawbaWomensCenter.com
pg 38 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | January 2012
OB/GYN Scott Chatham, MD Harold Dufour, MD Robert Highland, MD Nancy Toy, MD Jason Walker, MD Allison Whitton, MD GYNECOLOGY Joel Miller, MD
CERTIFIED NURSE MIDWIVES Jamie Brumley, CNM Margaret Marsden, CNM, IBCLC Sharon Kay Varner, CNM NURSE PRACTITIONERS Susan Desroches, MSN, FNP Pamela Monroe, MSN, WHNP Katrina Redmond, BSN, WHNP
*Insurance plans vary – we encourage you to check your specific plan benefits
Women are Taking Over the Social Internet
In the words of Martina McBride, “This One’s For The Girls.” Today, women are taking over the world of social media. Research has shown that females spend more time than males do on social media sites. They also contribute more, use mobile social networking more and they buy more stuff online than men do. A new survey released earlier this year by the Pew Internet and American Life Project corroborates numerous other studies that show that women dominate almost all social media websites. But, this is particularly true with Facebook and Twitter usage – the Pew survey found that more women than men use these channels regularly. They perform Facebook status and profile updates more regularly, they comment more, they add more photos and they click the “Like” button more often than men. Participation in social network sites in the U.S. has more than doubled over the past three years, and the majority of new users are women. To put this into perspective, in 2008, only 26% of all adults used social media at all. But just two-years later, it was found that 47% of all adults use social media, and today, a whopping 59% of Internet users now regularly frequent at least one social site. Not only are more people than ever before using Facebook and other networking sites, but they are also older. The average age used to be thirty-three, but now it’s thirty-eight. And the social Web is now ruled by women. They make up well over half of all social media users at 56%, and they hold the trophy for emailing, instant messaging, blogging and photo sharing, as well. But, men just don’t seem to be as interested in social media as in past years. In 2008, 47% of social networking site users were men. Two years later, that rate dropped to 44%, but the rate of female users has continued to grow. It appears that LinkedIn is the only social networking site that draws more male users, according to the survey. Facebook would be a virtual ghost town without women. The Pew survey revealed that women do all the heavy lifting on Facebook – 58%
of all Facebook users are women, compared to only 42% of men. But overall, both sexes have become somewhat lazy. What I mean is that status and profile updates are performed much less often by both sexes than in the past. Today, Facebookers spend most of their time commenting on other members’ photos and hitting the “Like” button. Even so, women still do more of this than men. The research showed that 16% of female Facebook users comment on posts several times a day compared to only 8% of men. In addition, 13% of women vs. only 4% of men comment on Facebook photos. The same goes for the Like button: 20% of the girls hit “Like” throughout the day, but only 9% of the guys even bother. While Facebook rules the social networks, Twitter is beginning to gain more ground in the U.S. and most of these new Twitter users are also women. But the divide between men and women is even greater on Twitter. The Pew survey found that 64% percent of all Twitter users are women compared to only 36% of men. This disparity is simply astounding. If women are from Venus and men are from Mars, then it seems as if Venusians are much better at using social media to stay in touch with those who are closest to them. A recent study conducted by telecommunications company Rebtel, polled U.S. adults about the methods that they used to keep in touch with others. As would be expected, in this study email topped all other forms of communication, with 83% of all participants using it, compared with 74% using the phone, and only 61% using social networks. Least popular forms of communication were microblogging and, surprisingly, video chat. But here’s a jaw-dropper – when it comes to mobile texting, both male and female 18 to 24 year olds average 110 text messages per day. Likewise, a recent Nielson poll revealed that Americans spend almost a quarter of their online time on social networking sites. According to the report, Internet users spend more than twice as much time on social networks (including blogs) as they do on online games, the next top web destination by time. During the month of May 2011 alone, the most popular American social networks as measured by Nielsen are Facebook (53.5 billion minutes), followed by Blogger (724 million minutes), Tumblr (624 million minutes), Twitter (565 million minutes) and LinkedIn (325 million minutes). In addition, nine of the 10 most popular social networks were dominated by women. And it was found that women also watch more video content than men, although men typically watch longer videos. Mobile is just one of the many ways Nielsen found social media use becoming universal. Four out of five Internet users spend 1 out of every 5 minutes online. When you have those kinds of numbers and see their continued potential growth, it’s staggering. So, how can the feminization of social networks like Twitter, Facebook and others be explained? Well, one can always speculate using generalizations – women can be more chatty and social than men, women tend to share more of themselves and their personal lives, and so on. But beyond these generalizations, it’s really hard to pinpoint without further research. Mick Young Marketing Technologies! www.EagleIncomeMarketing.com
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 39
shutterbuggerz.com pg 38
Our Monthly Feature
Photos from our December 2011 Contest.
Photo Submitted By: Heidi S. Casey Photography
Local Photos of Everyday people, places, and events as seen through the eyes of the area's professional and amateur photographers!
s h u t t e r b u g g e r z . c o m 40
Visit the website to view all the photos and to enter your photo into next monthâ€™s contest.
shutterbuggerz.com pg 39
Photo Submitted By: Beautiful Moments Photography
Photo Submitted By: Elements Photography 7
Photo Submitted By: Tiffany & Co. Photography 2010_Sophie_Ad_11-3-10.pdf 2010_Sophie_Ad_11-3-10.pdf
8 C C
Photo Submitted By: Joye Barr Photography
Photo Submitted By: Elizabeth Sweet Photography
Photo Submitted By: Cheryl Yoder
Photo Submitted By: Kathy Riddle Photography
Visit the website to view all the photos and to enter your photo into next monthâ€™s contest.
Photo Submitted By: Carrie Eaton
Photo Submitted By: Nichol Lancaster Photography
Photo Submitted By: Capture Life Photography
Photo Submitted By: Amy Frady
Photo Submitted By: Erin Annas
Photo Submitted By: Amber Smith Photo Submitted By: Capture The Moment Photography
Visit the website to view all the photos and to enter your photo into next monthâ€™s contest.
Photo Submitted By: Andrew Shook
Photo Submitted By: Don Anthony
Photo Submitted By: Seth Hice
Photo Submitted By: Dennis Ruiz
Photo Submitted By: Nichol Lancaster Photography www.shutterbuggerz.com
Photo Submitted By: Tiffany & Co. Photography
Be Sure To Visit
To Submit, Vote, & View PHotos
Photo Submitted By: Make It Alive Photography
A New Year is the perfect time to look and feel your best! Nothing Nothing is is more more important important than than taking taking care care of of yourself. yourself. After After all, all, if if you you don’t don’t take take care care of of yourself, yourself, how how can can you you take take care care of of others? others? This This year, year, make make aa vow vow to to give give your your mind mind and and body body the the attention attention you you deserve. deserve.
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