VOLUME 7 - ISSUE 7 / SEPTEMBER 2011
Wo m a n â€™ s M a g a z i n e
Girlfriends In God ~ The Power of Quiet | Page 19 Reaching Your Full Potential ~ How you see yourself will determine who you become (Part 2) | Page 12 Sounds of Silence: The Lesson in the Loss | Page 28 shutterbuggerz pg 45
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Sept. 11, 2011, will mark the 10-year anniversary of the terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon. Have you forgotten? Have you gone back to your daily routine like you did before it happened? Shame on us, if we have. I still feel the horror of that day every time I think of it and I hope I never forget. The images are forever seared in my mind. I still cry every time I start to talk about it. Here’s the thing.....I didn’t know anyone that was there. I had never met any of those who died or any of those running from the smoke and debris, trying to get away in time. But I still see it and I still hear it...the sound of bodies falling to their death while trying to escape. The TV, while airing live, was shocking and disturbing. If it still haunts me, I just wonder how it affects those that were there. The horrors of that day had no respecter of persons either. Moms, Dads, Children, Old, Young, Wealthy, Poor, Black or White, it did not matter. Even when I am watching old movies or reruns on TV, it grips my heart when I see the Twin Towers in them and I think how that skyline will never be the same. Since that day, I have had the privilege of meeting someone who survived that horrible day at the Pentagon. Trina is her name and she is amazing. Her love of life and her laughter is contagious. If she can go through that and still be the giving, loving person that she is, then none of us have an excuse to be anything less. She openly shares the events of that day and how just minutes made the difference in her being alive or dead. The thing we must not forget is that every day we have is a gift. I am sure you have heard or read the saying that goes like this: Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That’s why we call it the present. Isn’t that the truth? Do we take time to take a deep breath and cherish that we were able to breath. How about when we sit down to lunch or dinner, are we gulping it down without relishing the wonderful gift of food and how blessed we are to have choices of what to eat? We mumble when we have to go to work and yet it is such a gift. We are able to provide for our family by having a place to live, clothes to wear, food to eat, a car to get us around and so many other things that we really don’t need to survive. Surely if we asked those families who lost loved ones what is valuable to them, it would not be the “things” they had, but just to have not had their loved one taken that day. The really sad thing to me is that someone can hate so much that they are willing to kill Mothers, Fathers, and even innocent babies to make a point. Let’s not forget the way we felt that tragic day ten years ago and every morning when we wake up, let’s cherish life and count our blessings....name then one by one, and strive to make this world a better place!
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Family Ties by Mandy Thomas
How To Be Fabulous
Work you own style! by Gracie
The Front Porch
Imagination anyone? by Judy Smith
Girlfriends 19| In God
The Power of Quiet by Gwen Smith
23| Variety Tasty
Learn from other peoples tastes. by Marilyn Nutter
Lunch Box Makeover by Leanne Ely
20| Fitness Tips Health &
What is a “medicine’ ball? by Sharon Rashidi
The Lesson In The Loss Dr. Susan Flowers PhD
35| Killing Yourself
Slow Down Your
Create a space where you can stop & relax. Written by Susan Guest
12| Full Potential
m o t i va t i o n
How you see yourself will determin who you will become. Part 2 by Kim Fletcher
15| FlyLady The
I can see clearly now. by Marla Ciley
Are Energetic by Nicole Greer
Me, Myself, &
Passion Engages Support In Work and Life By Sherré Demao
Let’s Never Forget By Wayne Deloria
pg 3 | Message From The Heart pg 41 | Keep Your Family Safe pg 9 | Truth & Beauty - by Teresa Pope pg 42 | Folk Artist Follows Her Own Path pg 24 | Wedding Planner pg 45 | Shutterbuggerz Feature pg 37 | Heart Attack Warning Signs for Women
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If there’s one thing I want to teach my girls, it’s family values. As in, value your family because we’re the only one you’re getting. I get that having two girls, a fight over important things like whose doll is whose is imminent. But that doesn’t mean that they shouldn’t look out for each other or stick up for each other in dire circumstances. And since I believe very firmly in practicing what you preach, I like to tell them the story of the time I saved my sister’s life. Usually very loudly, and in front of my sister so that she can once again thank me for my incredible act of heroism. And just in case you’ve never heard it, let me share with you. Or, at least the version I like to claim as being true. I was five, and my sister was three. We’d been invited to a birthday party at a local park, which was the equivalent to Disney world at that time, because we didn’t have a Chuck E. Cheese’s. (I also like to point out at this point in the story that we had to walk five miles to school barefoot in the snow, but that’s just me.) It was a beautiful day, and all the kids were itching to run through the park in a fit of frenzy due to the cake we’d consumed, the sugar having burst in our veins like some kind of potent drug. I remember struggling to pay attention to the festivities around me, but failing miserably due to the all consuming need to be on the playground equipment. More specifically the huge slide in the middle of the park, which glinted and shimmered in the sun like a Christmas miracle just beckoning to be abused over and over again by my party induced mania. Now, I know that slides are nothing big anymore, ever since playground people decided to make things “safe” and take all the fun out of things. Whatever happened to the thrill of risk? I mean, yeah, you could break your leg, but still... Anyway, the slide. Maybe it’s just because I was so young, but to me, that beautiful piece of shimmering metal hung up on two dilapidated stilts was the most beautiful thing I’d ever beheld. Standing at least fifteen feet tall, the structure was a mountain to us, and my sister and I felt confident that we could not only climb it, we could conquer it. When the presents were finally opened and we no longer had to sit there and pretend to be happy that we bought an incredible toy, only to turn around and give it away to some random kid, we were free to run and play until our moms called us to go home. My sister and I tore across the grass, the singular thought of climbing the big slide blocking out everything else - manners included. Pushing kids out of the way seemed acceptable, hurling insults at friends for shock value in order to cut line perfectly fine because the slide was everything in that moment. I remember when my sister and I finally made it to those bars and placed our fingers onto the very first rung - we were invincible. We could do anything. Carefully, we clambered up the ladder, the wind whipping our hair around our faces, and sweat slipping into our eyes from the exertion. Still, we moved on. At one point, I stopped to survey my surroundings, not the least bit scared of how high I’d climbed. Off in the distance, I could see my mom, as tiny and faceless as an ant. It was thrilling, it was amazing, and I was awesome. And then, it happened.
From somewhere behind me, I heard my sister grunt and then scream. When I looked down, I saw that she had slipped through the rungs and was now clinging, her feet dangling miles above the cement pad on which the slide was mounted. In her terror, she was flailing, and her fingers began to slip off her hold. I had to do something. Thinking fast, I leaned behind me and grasped her hand, whispering words of reassurance as only a five year old can. Then I began to scream. “MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!” My mom, no doubt engrossed in whatever it is that grown ladies do at birthday parties, glanced up from where she sat to see what was going on. I’ll never know what she said, only that I saw her mouth drop and her plate of cake fall to the ground as she stood to her feet to run to us. By this time, my arms were stinging, my sister slipping in my grip. Still, I held on, knowing that if I let go of her for even a second her life would be over. Looking into her eyes, as wide and terrified as a caged rabbit, I knew that I wouldn’t let that happen. Finally, after what felt like years of struggling to hold on, my mom was below us. “Let go of her, Mandy,” she said, holding her arms out. That was when the first wave of fear crashed over me. My sister was still many feet above my mom, and if I dropped her and my mom didn’t make it in time to catch her, it would all be over. Worse, it would be my fault. My mom continued to call to me, assuring me that she would catch my sister if I just let go, but I knew that it was on me to make sure that she did. Taking a deep breath, I leaned down as far as I could, plastering my head to the bar above to steady myself as I lowered my sister. And then, I let go. Time seemed suspended as my sister fell, the earth slowing until at last she landed with a whoosh of air into my mother’s outstretched hands. A cheer went up from the crowd: I was a hero. As I watched my mom’s retreating back, my sister staring at me over her shoulder, I knew that our lives were forever changed. I wasn’t sure how, and I wasn’t sure why, but the one thing I knew with absolute certainty, as my mom carried my sister off - red faced from crying, and snot dripping down her face - was that I had her. I saved my sister’s life that day, and I could forever own her if I wanted - a fact that I liked to flaunt loudly and often throughout our adolescence. Also, sometimes at family dinners in our adulthood. I know that my sister thinks she repaid her life debt by “saving” me that one time she gave me the Heimlich maneuver while I was eating a jelly bean and got choked on my own spit, but that didn’t count. Plus, she smacked me in the face when she launched herself at me, so I think it was really just an excuse to hit me, which is just rude and hardly at all courageous. The point to the story is this, family is everything. I know right now my girls want the same toys and if they have to beat each other to a bloody pulp to get it, that’s what they’ll do. But, you never know when the day might come that you’re a breath away from something tragic, and who better to rely on than family? It’s worth thinking about. Especially if your name is Cyndi and your sister saved your life. Also, I feel the need to point out that some of these statements may be slightly exaggerated. But only slightly.
i n s p i r at i o n
by Mandy Thomas
HOW TO BE FABULOUS! Bright Lights-Big City...Or maybe, String lights and BBQ?? We all need our 15 minutes of fame...better yet, how about a lifetime of fabulous-ness! So, grab your Jackie O’ shades and be prepared to fight off the paparazzi baby! This months style tips will transform you from unknown (yet super fantastic) to “WOW! WHO IS THAT BOMBSHELL??!!” I absolutely adore Oprah Winfreys statement, “I still have my feet on the ground, I just wear better shoes.” Even the most giving, genuine person on Earth still knows the value of extraordinary footwear! There are a few must haves in order to be the “Jewel in the fashion Queen crown”. High, higher, highest! Whether you are Nicole Richie petite (5’1”) or Brooke Shields statuesque (6’), EVERY diva rocks in mile high stillettos, wedges, and platforms. And, most likely, the more uncomfy they are... the hotter they are! Christian Louboutin, a fave of the “Sex and the City” girls, expresses his feelings by saying, “I hate the concept of comfort”. Ha! Well,
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come on, you didn’t think I was going to advise you to wear sneakers did ya?? Although there are the cutest lil’ Pumas at Foot Locker that are sweet as pie! Speaking of athletic shoes, NEVER EVER are they considered chic outside of the gym or a sporting event. Oh goodness gracious, this may be another “Gracie Truth” that readers raise an eyebrow at...kinda like my dislike for capris! Bottom line, it’s only 15 minutes--- so strut it sistah!!! Brilliant jeweled colors are a big hit in the Hollywood scene as well. And no need to match, forget what your mama told you...JUST this once. Turn heads by wearing hot pink or leopard print with a conservative look. If someone stares like you are a “Glamour don’t”, flash that sparkly smile and kick up those hot heels!!! Just sayin’. Oh, and boots...over the knee...ankle...dress or cowboy...just... WOW. Next, I will reveal to you a huge secret in Hollywood...uhmmm... NO ONE looks that perfect... no one. Along with photoshopping (I added a lil’ more Coppertone tan and some pink lipgloss to my photo! Thanks Nichol! xoxo), body slimmers are a necessity. Recently, a girlfriend of mine hasd a revelation. Here it is, “Muffin top is so abundant among women now because our pants are so darn low! Seriously! Who had doughy sides in the 80’s when mom jeans ruled the runways??” Gotta love that girl. Anyway, there’s nothing wrong with smoothing things out a tad. Being a stylist, I have personally tried a quitrillion (give or take a few) brands of shapers. A great one to try is “Yummie Tummie”, an Oprah (still lovin’ her) favorite. Side note here, true story, I literally got stuck in a Spanx one day. Yes, put it on over my head, and couldn’t get out. Not a good look. Then, if I wasn’t embarrassed enough, another one of my ‘Never reveal anything we wouldn’t post on Facebook’ kinda friends starts laughing hysterically. As she was yanking off the Spanx, one of my hair extensions flew off with it! Lovely. Extensions are a whole other article!! Bahaha! So, basic advice on body shapers: Definitely a great way to show your ‘best side’ and always STEP into them! At the end of the day, the most striking look a woman can work is the one that is unique. Get that style that screams John Travolta in “Saturday Night Live”. How cool was he in his little disco suit!? Or, for more modern (aka younger) girls, Carrie Bradshaw wearing a tu-tu in NYC! Go for it-- put that huge flower in your hair, slip on that amazing hat you haven’t had the confidence to wear yet-- stand out! I will NOT apologize for love loving the style at the last Royal wedding...You go Beatrice and Eugenie!!! Fashion is fun ladies. So, take a deep breath, shoulders back, and lets rock that swagger darlin’!!! OOOO OOOO OOO OOOO ...stayin’ alive, stayin alive (dare ya to try to get that song outta your head now! hee hee hee)... xoxo. Gail Sommer Germain, aka “Gracie”, is wife to Bob, mom to Sydney (15) and Robbie (11), and a Statesville, NC resident. She starts her day at her barn… but finishes by being a boutique owner and personal fashion stylist to some incredibly fabulous women!
Sophie Woman’s Magazine / Sep 2011
by Teresa Pope, Esthetician
Question: The summer heat makes my hair look terrible, it is so dry and frizzy! What can I do to make my hair more manageable?
Answer: The frizzys are something just about everyone has to deal with. Especially in the south, where we not only have the heat, but the high humidity as well. The heat may be drying your hair, but it’s the humidity that is causing it to frizz. The moisture in the air causes the cuticle layer of the hair to expand, giving it that fuzzy appearance. So to stop the frizz we have to lock out the moisture and seal the hair. To do this, we must start with a good moisturizing shampoo. I know that sounds wrong, since I just said we want to lock out moisture, but think of it as fighting fire with fire. If we add moisture while the hair is wet and seal that moisture in with products, then the aired moisture will not be able to penetrate the cuticle layer and our hair will not become frizzy. Next, use a hydrating conditioner, they will contain such ingredients as dimethicone which has a smoothing effect. DO NOT use volumizing products because they will cause the hair to expand and will make frizz worse. The conditioning step is very important to combat the frizzys, so don’t skip this step even if you have fine hair, that tends to go flat. If you have fine, thin hair, apply conditioner only from the mid-section down to ends. Third, use a smoothing serum that contains silicone.
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These products usually feel oily in your hands but they work wonders in the hair. If your hair is fine, than choose a cream based product like a leave-in conditioner. Forth, you must blow-dry your hair, pulling the frizz out as you dry. use the largest round brush possible for your hair length, and a boar bristle brush is best. Make sure hair is completely dry, if not, it will frizz later. Finally, apply a few drops of a defrizzing product to ends and spray lightly with your favorite hairspray, being careful not to over spray. (remember hairspray is liquid, and liquid is the enemy to sleek, smooth hair) This should keep you frizz free for the day, however, if your day includes spending a lot of time outside, then you may want to opt for an updo, or a cute ponytail. Also, do not shampoo everyday. This will only strip your hair of essential moisture and cause the dry, frizzy look you hate so much. Instead, apply a small amount of the defrizzing product to the ends of hair and blow dry the hair as if it were wet, blowing back in the fullness and style.
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chool is back in session! Did I just hear a lot of whooping and are you doing the happy dance? I don’t have kids in school but I have kids that have kids in school. Sometimes it takes kids being in school for anyone (except the teachers that is) to get any kind of normal schedule. Summers are so different then when I was a kid. My daughter and I spent the day together the other weekend and we just got out and explored. We had a fun day and on the way back we were coming through some of the area that I grew up in and I started telling her how far I would ride a bike on any given Saturday or on a summer day that I was out of school. I could not really describe how far it was so I decided to show her. Not only could she hardly believe it but neither could I. Where in the world did I get all that energy back then? Not to mention how absolutely dangerous that would be to do today. It is so sad to me that children can’t explore some of the things that got us outside and got us using our imagination. Albert Einstein said “I am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination. Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.” With all the things that kids have today to occupy their time, they don’t have the chance to really put their imagination into full swing. If you were anything like me, my imagination was the best thing I had going. I can’t tell you how many times I thought about running away to the circus because I knew I was a great acrobat. Why, I was sure I could learn in no time, how to fly on the swinging trapeze, after all, no one could climb trees higher than me....not even my brothers. If not that, then I could be one of those people who walked the balls all over the place. Now I never actually walked on a ball but I sure could turn over the barrels that my dad used to burn trash in and walked it all over the yard....same thing! Jane never had anything on me when it came to swinging around in the jungle. OK, so it wasn’t a jungle but I really could swing across the mountains and creeks on those grape vines. Tarzan would have been proud, and you know how much I loved my Tarzan movies. Do you know how hard those are to find these days, but I have the whole series! Okay Moms, you have spent the summer trying to keep the kids entertained and now they are back in school and once again you have your days free. What in the world are you going to do with yourself once you finish your celebration? It is not too late for you to let that imagination run wild. Call me and we will dance in the rain or if that is just too wild for you, maybe I will put on my Tarzan movies and we will have a contest to see who a Tarzan (or Jane) yells the best! Let this be a warning though, I am a pretty fierce competitor!
i n s p i r at i o n
Front Porch The
“When I was a kid, I used to imagine animals running under my bed. I told my dad, and he solved the problem quickly. He cut the legs off the bed.” Lou Brock
REACHING YOUR FULL POTENTIAL:
How You See Yourself Will Determine Who You Become: Part 2 by Kim Fletcher, Life Coach, Author, Speaker
m o t i va t i o n
“We generally change ourselves for one of two reasons: inspiration or desperation.” Jim Rohn I hope you enjoyed last month’s article: How You See Yourself Will Determine Who You Become. We considered how most people fail to discover and develop their unique identity… a sad reality that can lead to burn out and disillusionment. While many have crafted a personal mission or vision statement that maps out what they hope to achieve, almost no one has ever done the work of drafting an ‘identity statement’, a highly personal document that highlights the best of who you are and who you long to become. As promised, this follow-up article will equip you to draft your own blueprint for the person you want to become. This creates the foundation upon which you can build your uniquely meaningful life and business vision. STEP ONE: (from last month) Coach yourself to a strong and intact identity. Journal any thoughts around patterns, people, and false beliefs that are limiting the way you see yourself. STEP TWO: Begin by asking yourself this simple question: “WHO AM I?” See if you can answer without regard to roles. As you strip away the external roles (parent, friend, CEO, etc.), you will only be left with internal characteristics. Your awards, achievements and even your failures don’t have a place on this list either… so go deep. If you are having difficulty, here is a simple exercise: take a journal or legal pad. Write out the letters of the alphabet, leaving room after each letter. Then for each letter of the alphabet, complete a word that describes YOU. Don’t worry if you don’t love your list. Just be totally honest with yourself. The next section will give you room to shift from who you are to who you long to become, for those who feel some change is in order.
STEP FOUR: DECLARE AND WRITE OUT your true identity! Your answers will come from the Alphabet Exercise you just performed. Simply fill in the blanks for a rough draft of your IDENTITY STATEMENT. Then feel free to change the wording, making it personal and meaningful. Once you have it crafted, put it where you can see it, repeat it and memorize it. I like having this on a mirror, in my car, or even in front of my daily calendar. Have some fun by doing this exercise with your friends, children and associates after you craft your own.
ALPHABET EXERCISE example: • A - AMAZING • B - BOLD • C - CALM • D – DISTINGUISHED • Finish by creating a word that describes you for all 26 letters.
“I AM _______________, _______________, _______________. I AM BECOMING _______________, _______________, _______________. My identity is so important that I vow to align all future decisions, and actions with who I long to become.” Sign and date your declaration. Getting in touch with who you are will begin to reveal what you are truly capable of. This is the place where deep meaning and creativity will begin to flood every task you set out to accomplish. ■
After completing your list of 26 characteristics, go back with a highlighter or pen. Circle or highlight the 10 that best define you right now. Hold onto those as your TOP 10 LIST! STEP THREE: Now, let’s change the exercise slightly. Go back to your blank list of letters. This time, answer this key question as you create your second list of 26 words… instead of
making a list that describes you NOW, make a list that is futuristic and reflects ‘WHO DO I LONG TO BECOME?’ Now, follow the same step above by highlighting your TOP 10 BECOMING LIST. This exercise may seem simple, but it will allow you some time to reflect, thereby… • Allowing you to have a clearer picture of who you are right now • Designing your hope for the future as you consider who you long to become • Strengthening your belief in yourself, by separating the roles and achievements from the unshakable heart of who you have been created to become. • Forcing you to re-define and shift your core foundations onto who you are becoming rather than what you are achieving. • Creating a place of stability as you begin to trust in WHO YOU ARE, something that cannot be shaken even in times of uncertainty, crisis or hardship.
Sophie Woman’s Magazine / Sep 2011
FILL IN THE BLANKS with your top 3 choices from the first 2 questions found above:
This article was taken from Kim’s newest book release, The Tension Point: Breaking Through to Where You Want to Be. As a Life Coach and Speaker, Kim coaches individuals and groups to break free from all that holds them back, while pressing in to reach their full potential. We would love to hear from you: email@example.com, 828 327 6702, creativelifenavigation.com.
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I Can See Clearly Now
Do you remember the song that has this verse? I can see clearly now the rain is gone; all obstacles that were in my way. I don’t know the exact words, I will look them up later. Your clutter is standing in your way. When you take the time to eliminate it, you will find that the brain fog that has been clouding your vision will slowly begin to lift and you will start to think clearly. You don’t believe me. How can my clutter be clouding my brain! Well let me tell you! Clutter has a life of its own! And it changes shapes too! We have the physical clutter! We all know and have it hiding. Then there is the mental clutter: WORRY! My granny calls it “studying on it” Worry takes you away from the here and now and puts you in that “Ole poor me” mode in the future! I am here to tell you, if you think about it, you are going to bring it about! Then there is GUILT! Oh this one eats us alive! It takes you away from the present and puts you in the past! No wonder you can’t get anything accomplished, you are stuck in some time warp and you can’t get out! I want you to jump out of this black hole and deal with the now! What can you do right this minute that would make you feel better? Is it balance your check book, look at your bills and pay them, or is it shining your sink or just spending 15 minutes clearing off your desk so you can think when you are sitting there! Financial clutter is baggage that just gets heavier if you don’t sit down and deal with it. As hard as it is; opening up those bills and putting them down on paper is going to help you see through the fog. It is the not knowing and not dealing with it that keeps us blinded. Then you can see who you need to call and talk to. You can make a plan if you know. If you don’t face this with courage and at least 15 minutes at a time, you are going to get stranded not knowing and the fear, worry, and guilt is going to keep you paralyzed in your blindness! This kind of clutter makes your other clutter get worse! Not to mention your hips! We stuff our
feelings and eat, putting more clutter on our bodies which put more guilt on you! This vicious cycle has got to stop! I would not be able to do what I do surrounded by clutter! It was only after I faced my fears of letting go of stuff, money problems, and guilt that I was able to see that my life had a purpose! Your well being is precious to me! I want you to take care of yourself!
Are you ready to FLY? For more help getting rid of your CHAOS, check out her website and join her free mentoring group at www.FlyLady.net or her book, Sink Reflections published by Random House and her New York Times Best Selling book, Body Clutter published by Simon and Schuster. Copyright 2011 Marla Cilley Used by permission in this publication.
m o t i va t i o n
by Marla Cilley
The Dinner Diva Extreme Makeover! Lunch Box Edition
By Leanne Ely, CNC When packing a lunch for your kids to take to school, don’t even mention the word “lunchable” or I’ll cringe. I don’t care how easy it is to buy a pre-made and pre-packed lunch like that. I promise that all the junk, sugar, and fat you can find in those won’t make them worth it. So ditch the Lunchables. It’s time for a makeover! And after those Lunchables, I want you to dispose of any fruit roll-ups, fruit gushers, and any other gummy fruit snack. Get rid of the Trix yogurt, I don’t care how often the commercial tries to convince you that “Trix are for kids”. And please, no bologna sandwiches on white bread. If I don’t even know everything they put in that so-called “meat” then it’s something that should be left untouched. And as far as chips are concerned, we should all know better with all those saturated oils. So what should you put in your children’s lunch? Easy, I’ll give you a list of substitutes for all the items that I dismissed. 1. Instead of all those over-processed gummy fruit snacks, give your kids real fruit! Throw in a banana or some berries. Whatever fruit is in season and on sale in the store! That’ll stock your kid’s
belly full of antioxidants and natural sugars that’ll quench the sweet tooth. 2. Trix yogurt is more of a trick than a treat. It’s only full of artificial food coloring, sugar, and artificial flavors. All of which are going to keep your child craving other artificial and sugary foods and make them more lazy and lethargic instead of energetic and happy the way kids are supposed to be. So grab the natural yogurts. It’s easy to tell them apart because they’ll have labels like “real fruit” attached to them. Always double-check the ingredients to confirm that, however. 3. And when you pack a sandwich, avoid white bread and mystery meats. Look for breads that aren’t bleached. I wrote an article on how to pick the right bread if you want to look that up for a more detailed guide (http://savingdinner.com/articles/truthbread/). Also, use meat that doesn’t have any additives. How do you know if it has additives? The same way you know anything does, check the ingredients! I can’t stress enough how important it is to know what you’re consuming instead of blindly picking something off the shelf. 4. An easy substitute for chips would be whole grain crackers (again, check ingredients), or veggies! Even if you do opt for the crackers, I would include some sort of vegetable regardless. Your children are going to keep growing and developing all the way through high school and are always needing antioxidants and the vitamins found in vegetables. Don’t forget to keep it fun and colorful! So there you go! Always remember that there is a healthy substitute for any nutritionally lacking lunch box item.
Leanne Ely is a New York Times bestselling author of Body Clutter and the Saving Dinner series. The Dinner Diva syndicated newspaper column appears in 250 newspapers nationwide. Learn how to cook great and save significant money with the Dinner Diva?s menus, recipes and shopping lists at www. savingdinner.com
Sophie Woman’s Magazine / Sep 2011
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YMCA of Catawba Valley Fall is fast approaching and it’s the perfect time to enjoy the benefits of a membership to the YMCA. New members can look forward to no joining fees, and no contracts…Never. Also, we are offering $200 in joining bonuses for new members only. Fall sports and programming are another valuable reason to join the YMCA. We will be offering exciting programs such as: Adult and Youth Zumba, Flag Football, Fall Soccer, Parent’s Night Out, and Indoor Swim Lessons. Contact your local YMCA today to find out how easy it is to get started, and get involved.
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Make The Right Choice! 18
Sophie Woman’s Magazine / Sep 2011
Photo Courtesy of Carol Anne Hartman Photography
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The Power Of Quiet by Gwen Smith
The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul (Psalm 23:1-3a, NIV).
Friend To Friend
There are times when laundry takes over my house. Piles build up, though I try to stay on top of them. Many of the clothes are clean and even folded, but not put away. That tricky put-away-part is always hard for me. Then there are the socks. Oh, the socks! They burden me so!! I’m half tempted to believe that a great sock nation exists,and that socksoldiers are on a secret mission to destroy my testimony by driving me crazy! Divide and conquer. That’s what they do! Why can’t socks just behave? Why can’t they ever stay in pairs, and where am I supposed to put the socks that remain unmatched? (Insert dramatic sigh here…) Unmatched socks and folded-but-not-put-away-laundry tie me up in knots. I don’t like to admit it, but sometimes days go by before I make the time to put them away. Is it just me? I’ve come to realize that my days can be a lot like my laundry situation. At times they get piled up with “busy.” Sabbath gets squeezed out. Now, when I say Sabbath, I mean the priority of sitting before the Lord just to sit with Him … quietly … expectantly … to listen. Though I do include God in my days and breathe prayers throughout, when I don’t sit before the Lord – and exercise the spiritual discipline of being quiet before God – it seems that both old and new burdens can tie my heart into a frazzled knot. It had been one of those weeks. Knots. Knots. Knots. Then I finally remembered the power of quiet. As I sat in the cool still of the morning with a hot mug of coffee in my hand and the warming presence of God in my soul, the burdens of my heart began to drift away. Direction came. Joy resounded. Mercy rained. Peace … deep peace fell. It was when the companion of God’s Spirit had begun to transform my soul, my thoughts, my goals, and my day that I realized, as if I had slumbered half the week away … this is where they go! This is where my burdens belong! The old ones that I’ve written about time and time again in my prayer journal and the new ones that are just beginning to unravel from my heart. This is where they go! I just needed to put my continuous stream of life-burdens away like the unending piles of laundry! Then … order, soul order. Peace, compelling peace. Joy, divine joy. It all comes. I sat in wonder. Still. In His presence. Convicted of my failure to remember the power of being quiet before the Lord. “Of course this is where they go. I knew that. I knew that! Lord, forgive me. Oh, how I’m thankful for your daily mercy showers.” Jesus tells all who believe that we should go to Him. “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take
my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light” (Matthew 11:28-30). When our lives get too busy … when the laundry piles up in our homes and the burdens pile up in our hearts, we often forget the power of quiet. The power of being still before God. The power of listening, expecting, soul-pouring … receiving rest. His presence sorts souls and never leaves anunmatched burden. His presence never leaves and un-lifted burden. Hallelujah! What a Savior! Take some time to power-down and be still before Him right now. Remember the power of quiet as you exchange your burdens for His peace.
Dear Lord, Your mercy is fresh each day, and Your grace piles higher than all my laundry and all my heart-woes. Thank You, Lord! I’m here. Please align my heart to Yours. Quiet me with Your love, direction, and peace today. In Jesus’ Name I pray, Amen. Now it’s Your Turn When is the last time you sat and were still before God – with no music playing, no TV on, etc.? When we spend purposed time with the Lord, beautiful things happen. Look up Zephaniah 3:17 and fill in the blanks below:
I N S P I R AT I O N
“The LORD your God is _______ _________, he is mighty to save. He will take ___________ ______________in you, he will _____________ you with his ______________, he will _____________ over you with ________________.”
More from the Girlfriends
Are you up for a personal GiG challenge? I challenge you to add a ten-minute “Sabbath” to your day for the next week. (I recommend you do it as soon as you wake up, but that’s your call.) Simply sit before the Lord and let Him know you are there. You might want to start your time by reading a psalm and responding in prayer. Then be still. Just ten minutes a day for a week. Ready for the challenge? Let me know by telling me on my Facebook wall: www.facebook. com/GwenSmithMusic. Hope you will join me! NEED SOME SOUL REST? Check out Gwen’s new CD, Uncluttered.The songs of Uncluttered are purposed to sweep you away from life-noise and to focus your heart and mind on the one thing that matters: your relationship with Jesus Christ.
by Sharon Rashidi B.S. Health Education
e d u c at i o n
How long has the Medicine Ball been around and how did it get it’s name? Last month after teaching a kettle bell/medicine ball class; I had a member come up to me and ask me how long the medicine ball has been around as an exercise tool and how did it get its name. She did not understand why a ball would be referred to as “medicine.” I explained to her that “medicine” doesn’t just refer to pills and liquids, but it is also used to describe anything that promotes health. When people say a doctor is “practicing medicine”, they are essentially saying: the doctor is promoting good health. The term “medicine ball” first showed up in an English-language dictionary in 1895. At that time, “medicine” and “health” were more synonymous than they are today. In one form or another, medicine balls have been used to promote health and fitness for thousands of years. According to a study of the medicine ball in ESPN The Magazine, doctors in ancient Greece wrote about weighted exercise balls, and the balls appeared in drawings of wrestlers in Persia as far back as 1000 B.C. This makes the medicine ball one of the oldest pieces of exercise equipment around! A medicine ball is simply a weighted ball, filled with sand. They can be found in a variety of sizes and weights, usually ranging from a few inches in diameter (baseball size) to larger than a basketball and from 1 pound up to about 30 pounds. They also come in different shapes and constructed from different materials. Choosing the balls weight and size is specific to the training goals of the individual. Smaller and lighter balls should be used for training speed, while heavier balls are used for strength or power training. The medicine ball is suitable for all ages, fitness levels, and sizes. Exercises done with the medicine ball help a person develop a strong core; improve coordination, flexibility, and upper and lower body strength. You can even train your heart and loose fat by doing a circuit of several medicine ball exercises, keep moving and your heart elevated. Go grab a ball and have some fun!
Medicine Ball Exercises
Exercise #1 Diagonal Chop- This exercise will tone your waistline, shoulders, and arms. Step One- 1. Start by standing upright with the medicine ball above and behind your left ear. 2. Pull your abdominal muscles in tight, take a deep breathe in.
Sophie Woman’s Magazine / Sep 2011
Step Two- 1. Make a chopping motion by moving the ball from the starting position across your body diagonally, ending near the opposite knee. Exhale as you make the motion. 2. Finish the repetition by returning the ball to the starting position by reversing the motion. 3. After completing twelve repetitions, repeat the exercise on the opposite side. TIPS1. For an increased range of motion, rotate your back foot while completing the exercise. 2. Advanced Technique: Lift your back foot off the floor as you move the ball downward to your knee, and lift your front foot off the floor during the upper portion of the exercise. Exercise #2 Medicine Ball Lunge Crossovers- This exercise will tone your legs, glutes and upper body. Step One- 1. Stand with feet hip width apart. Take left leg and step back approximately 2 feet standing on the ball of the foot. 2. Feet should be positioned at a staggered stance with head and back erect and straight in a neutral position. Hold medicine ball in front of your chest.
Step Two- 1. Lower your body by bending at hip and knee until thigh is parallel to floor. Body should follow a straight line down towards the floor. As you are lunging reach to one side of the leg with the ball. 2. Return to start position and repeat by reaching to the opposite side with the ball. 3. After completing twelve repetitions, repeat the exercise on the opposite leg. TIPSKeep your back straight throughout the movement. In the lunge position make sure that your knee does not travel beyond your toes.
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Tasty Variety by Marilyn Nutter
“..I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.” Philippians 4:11b (NIV) Last night friends came to dinner and the gentleman asked if I had any hot sauce for the soup. I stared in disbelief as he shook the bottle repeatedly over the bowl. “I like it hot and spicy,” he laughed. “I guess so!” I answered, silently wondering if he would even taste my homemade vegetable soup now that he had blended the hot sauce into it. Hot and spicy just isn’t what I like or what my intention was for my recipe. I have another friend who passes on dessert. Sweets just aren’t her thing, but me? I can’t pass up a delicious slice of chocolate cake. The more frosting the better! My niece thinks that yogurt is too sour, but I often have yogurt for lunch. And we all have our stories of children who won’t eat certain vegetables! Our taste buds, the minute taste receptor cells on our tongue, detect the five elements of taste perception-- sweet, salty, bitter, sour and savory. Though we all have the same cells, we each perceive and enjoy tastes differently. We gravitate toward the flavors we like. They satisfy us. Throughout our life, the same could be said for experiences. They may be sweet, salty, bitter, sour or savory. In today’s scripture, Paul describes his perspective on the variety that life brings. He writes that he has learned to be content whatever the circumstances. Paul’s circumstances included being full and being hungry, living in plenty or not knowing where his next meal would come from. He experienced the sweetness of fellowship in homes and the sour experience of being chained in prison. Paul admits that contentment, regardless of his circumstances, didn’t come naturally. It actually had little to do with the specific experience, but was a “learning” process. In another letter he
writes, “Godliness with contentment is great gain.” (1Timothy 6:6) It’s unlikely that we have lived the life of extremes that Paul has, but we have variety in our lives just the same. We have the sweetness of friendship and family, the saltiness of rejection, the bitterness and sour experiences of life’s trials and disappointments and the savory moments of learning and celebrating. Paul challenges us to learn to be contented whatever our script reads. Even in the salty, bitter and sour experiences, sweetness can emerge because we know that the Lord’s presence is with us and we learn from experiences. As we move along, we can say with Paul, that we have learned contentment. Reflection: What taste are you experiencing today? Can you determine, like Paul, to desire to learn contentment during your experience? Perhaps writing special Bible verses on index cards will encourage you. Keep them close by. Ask someone to pray with you. Read Philippians 4:10-13. Take note of the last verse about strength. Read Psalm 34:8 and 1Timothy 6:6. How can they help you develop contentment? Can you make those verses a prayer as you navigate through the variety of your “tastes” this week? Marilyn Nutter is the author of three devotional books including Diva Delights which focuses on finding extraordinary treasures in ordinary and challenging days. She is a contributor to on-line sites and compilations such as Chicken Soup for the Soul. She is available to speak to women’s church and community groups. Contact her at firstname.lastname@example.org and visit her website at www.marilynnutter.com
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A tiered wedding cake is often a fitting conclusion to a wedding reception. Today’s brides and grooms are experimenting with cake flavors and designs so their cake is a unique representation of their persona as a couple. It’s no longer necessary to stick with a white cake with buttercream frosting for your wedding day. Think about exploring other flavor and filling combinations that will tempt the guests’ taste buds. For those who can’t settle on just one flavor, how about having a different flavor for each layer? Couples getting married in the fall may want to think about a spice cake that evokes the feelings of sipping a mug of spiced cider. Cream cheese frosting is often a pairing with spice cake, or think about a layer of caramel that will make it taste like you’re enjoying a candied Halloween apple. A hummingbird cake may fit the bill for a spring wedding. This is made with mashed bananas, pineapples and chopped pecans. This cake is perfect when paired with cream cheese frosting. Yellow or white cake are universal favorites for weddings. Some pizzazz can be added through the use of creative fillings. Consider something citrusy and summery for a summer wedding. Raspberry preserves or lemon curd are tart and sweet. For a tropical flair, mangoes or passion fruit can be mixed with touches of coconut. A winter wedding can be accented with rich flavors, like a decadent chocolate cake filled with chocolate ganache and black cherries -- in a black forest style. Those toasting to the good life may want an almond cake enhanced with some fine liqueur and simple chocolate buttercream. Couples should sit down with their baker and sample a
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Sophie Woman’s Magazine / Sep 2011
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number of flavor combinations to determine a recipe that works for them. Pastry companies also may be able to develop a cake that encompasses a couple’s favorite flavors or symbolizes a special moment in their lives. A Boston Cream Pie-inspired cake may liven up the wedding of a couple who became engaged in Boston. Maybe a cannoli cream filled cake will usher in memories of a trip to Italy. Kids at heart can enjoy candy confection cakes filled with gooey chocolate, nuts and marshmallows. Whatever the case, couples can use their cake as a centerpiece that wows the senses of taste as well as vision. Consider displaying this culinary masterpiece on a table with the seating cards placed around it so that it Wedding cakes can be an array of can be enjoyed the shapes, sizes and flavors. entire night.
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Sophisticated Women... By Nicole Greer, PPCC Founder and Principle Coach at Vibrant Coaching
Everything begins with the work of yourself. -Tony Schwartz
1. Energy levels are based on capacity and demand. 2. Energy is the capacity to do work. 3. Energy is inside you and can by systematically expanded and renewed. 4. You can expect energy demands on your life to increase. 5. Our capacity to produce energy diminishes over time especially physical and mental energy. Five Reasons Why Your Energy is Low According to an annual Gallup “Stress” poll established in 2001, consistently 50% or more of all people surveyed are stressed. This means the demand on their energy exceeds their capacity. Which means that the majority of sophisticated women are running on low energy levels. To safeguard their energy, they must recognize these energy leaks and answer these powerful questions: Leak #1: Pay attention to the people you allow in your life. Do they lean or lift? Leak #2: Negative self-talk becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy. Repeating the phrases: “I am tired”, “I am worn out”, “I am exhausted” steal mental energy and in turn weakens the physical form. What is your response to “How are you?” Leak #3: You are stuck in your comfort zone. When was the last time you tested your capacity? Leak #4: Your present is dictating your future. Decide what you really want for the future and let that desire dictate your actions in the present. What do you really want?
Leak #5: You expend a great deal of energy resisting your desires, your life as it is and the events that are unfolding. What would it be like to reduce the energy you consume by 90 percent by simply welcoming a next right step toward the life you have? I implore sophisticated women everywhere to create a space to look at the quality of their energy, answer the questions I have posed and look to these resources to become more energetic and VIBRANT! Five Resources for Increased Energy: • Take a personal energy audit plus the energy audit for leaders. http://www.theenergyproject.com/tools/theenergy-audit#step1 • Energy Foods: A Diet to Boost your Mood and Energy Level http://www.webmd.com/diet/slideshow-energymood-boost-diet • Energize your Body First Thing Each Morning http:// www.womenshealthmag.com/fitness/morning-workout • Centering Prayer Video: Sit still and regain calm http:// www.youtube.com/watch?v=3IKpFHfNdnE • Take a day off! Join me at the Starrette Farm for the September 9th, 2011 QUIET SPACE DAY! Enjoy a quiet space and try on a coaching! Check out www. thelydiagroup.com
m o t i va t i o n
Energy is the physical, spiritual, emotional, and mental power to perform. Sophisticated Women require energy to support their every thought, word, action and interaction in your life. When she doesn’t have enough energy to do what she wants and needs to do, she has an Energy Deficit. There are four kinds of energy—physical, spiritual, mental, and emotional. The way a sophisticated woman self-manages these areas will impact her ability to live each day with vitality. To manage these areas she must make choices of power and purpose. And remember balance is all about choices or next right steps. To infuse your days with energy you must: include a centering time, an energizing walk, and a co-hort of like minded people who desire to share their energy with you. Here are five facts about energy!
Let’s get started! Nicole Greer, PPCC is a professional life and business coach. At its deepest level, working with a coach frees you to indentify your birthright gifts, discern your deepest passions, and fulfill your highest purpose. A coach can pry you off dead center. As Principal Coach for Vibrant Coaching and Workshop Leader for The Lydia Group, LLC, a collaboration of individuals focused on work, life and spiritual growth, Nicole is on a mission to impact, energize, and influence people to lead a Vibrant Life by engaging the possibilities. As a life and business coach and workshop leader, Nicole views her role as a conduit to release all that you want to achieve. Join me on the PATH to move forward with authenticity, skill and confidence. www. thevibrantcoach.com/www.thelydiagroup.com
Sounds of Silence: The Lesson in the Loss
All of us will experience loss throughout life, the loss of material things, perhaps our shelter or maybe a pet. However, there is no loss more profound than the loss of a human being that we love. Death has no discretion. Unlike birth, it is not a planned event. No one can predict his or her demise, yet it is a common thread we all share. Death is the “Great Equalizer.” Although it is often tragic, sudden or life altering, death is an experience that bares fruit for those left behind. There are obvious lessons remaining that family and friends rarely grasp in their grief. As a middle-aged adult, death was not foreign to me. I have experienced death intimately many times both as a former medical professional and within my own family. However, none had greater impact than the rapid demise of my husband, who lost his battle with Pancreatic Cancer in 2005. I prayed and bargained with God to not reclaim my best friend and father to my two young children so early in their lives. My husband had been a great role model who served and protected his country as a United States Marine and protected his community for almost two decades as a Police Officer. This man lived a life filled with honesty and integrity. He stood for family and fought for citizenship and justice for all throughout the world. Yet his greatest battle was fought outside of a war field. I witnessed the strongest person I had ever known, succumb to a ruthless invader, reduced to crawling on his hands and knees in pain. At the time, I had never questioned “Why me?” because I had learned throughout life that to ask such a question meant someone else’s life was more deserving of tragedy. The most appropriate question was, “What characteristic do I possess which prepares me for such a monumental task, versus another wife?” My wedding vows stated, “In death do us part,” so I knew one of us had to go first. It never stated who or how soon but I certainly signed up for the challenge. As I faced one of my greatest trials, I searched my soul and prayed that the answer would come. I knew that there was a lesson for the children and me and it finally came after my husband died…during immense pain…during my sound of silence. I woke up every morning and went to bed in tremendous grief and heartache facing a life without my soldier. Month after month, I asked myself daily, “When does this pain end?” Every day bore the same intensity. I began to reflect and journal about my husband’s significance in our lives and on this earth. As I embarked on this daily exercise, another question came to mind that would change the way I saw death forever. “Of the nearly two decades of beauty we spent together as a couple and all that this man stood for on this earth, why do I choose to focus on the nine months leading up to his death?” The answer to that question revealed the strongest lesson of all. I realized that to reduce a life well lived to grieving about the moments of departure is narcissistic.
Sophie Woman’s Magazine / Sep 2011
The grief then becomes more about our inability to let go. This revelation was powerful and the healing began to take place. This previously healthy and unstoppable man was ‘cut down’ in the prime of his life, not by the bombs of war or the bullet of a thug but rather an unforeseen enemy known as Cancer. With all of the military advancements we have made and all of the computer technology produced in our world, a cure for this one disease still eludes us for centuries. The death of my grandfather, great-aunt and now my husband has made the lesson of these deaths clear in my mind. I focus my memories and not my tears on the amazing things that they all did to enrich my life and I continue the mission they began for those who now fight or who will fight the War on Cancer. One of the proudest moments of my life was being a part of a team of seven individuals who helped to raise over $174,000 in eight weeks for blood cancers this year. This occurred during my current reign as Ms Black Charlotte USA 2011. After competing in pageants for over ten years, my existing platform is now “Cancer Awareness & Cure.” Both my daughters now assist me in my campaign and it is my goal to establish a foundation in their father’s honor. There are many things that I have learned resulting from death, family or other. The examples left behind by our loved ones are immense. We are all here on this earth for various reasons even if it is just for a season. As we grow to love one another and form bonds, loss of any relationship will never feel pleasant. However, I have learned to re-focus death into a beneficial experience rather than continue to grieve a body at rest. None of us is Jesus and a resurrection by tears is highly unlikely. Celebrate and focus on the meaningful lives of those who have transitioned instead of the circumstances surrounding the loss. Also, take comfort in knowing that their spirit lives! ~ Susan Flowers Dr Susan Flowers, PhD is a speaker, author, coach and radio host for the “Caribbean Connection” Saturdays at 4 - 6 PM on 103.3 FM WGIV Charlotte. For bookings visit www.SusanFlowers.com or Facebook.com/DrSusanFlowers.
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Sophie Woman’s Magazine / Sep 2011
Me, Myself, & . c In By Sherré DeMao
Do you awaken each day looking forward to what lies ahead, or do you dread interacting with those around you? Do you end each day excited about what the next day will bring, or are you still replaying the day and some of the frustrations that seemed to pull you away from where you really wanted to be focusing? If you are not feeling excited and looking forward, then you have lost your passion. When the passion for what you are doing is waning, you may need to take a look around you. There is nothing more draining than feeling like you are in it alone. The reality is that as much as we profess great pride in our independence and ability to manage, multi-task and get things done, by human nature, it is much more rewarding to have others along to enjoy the ride and even help make the ride a little easier. Remember two of the three promises mentioned in a previous column? … “Don’t feel guilty about making life easier for yourself.” and “Be open to all possible resources and support.” Passion can be a double-edged sword. On one side, it is why you are ideally doing the work that you do or are dedicating your time to something in your life that is meaningful. It is also what stirs such emotion in you that it can frustrate instead of invigorate you, especially if the right support is not there when you need it. For some individuals, this can be paralyzing and demotivating. This is also the point at which you might decide to cut back, put something on hold for a while or even give up on your dream altogether. The key is to allow your passion to be the engager in your efforts to achieve. One of the most profound ways I see individuals sabotaging themselves is by not sharing or involving anyone in what they envision or in what they are doing and trying to achieve. Could this be you? Could you be alienating support that is right before your eyes and under your nose? Have you shared your passion, your vision and your mission, and what these might mean for your life and family or for your career and the company? If you don’t want to feel alone in your journey, then don’t be alone. Start enabling those around to be a part of the exciting ride. But it is not enough to simply recite what you are trying to achieve — you must somehow make them a part of the excitement. Don’t just tell them. Inspire them with your vision. Let them feel your
passion. Allow them to embrace the possibilities right along with you. Let them know the challenges ahead and invite them to help you overcome these obstacles. Anyone who interfaces with you in your work or your life could be a conduit of support who could then inspire support from a growing number of others. All you have to do is let them in. It is really that simple. Attitude is everything when it comes to attracting the type of support you need for your business. If you totally and utterly believe in what you are doing and are passionate in a positive, uplifting way, you will inspire and engage others. Your attitude will be contagious. Others will see you take action and want to be a part of it all. Before you know it, all kinds of initiatives will take place on your behalf, bringing your goals closer to realization. How can you attract more support? The best and most sincere way is by practicing a mindset of offering support to others. Being open to all possible support and resources means being open to giving support and being a resource. This is finding a way or making a way by helping others find a way and make a way. Who in your life is not supportive or simply does not seem to “get” what you are trying to achieve? Before you decide to give up on them, answer the following questions: How are you supporting what they do? How are you engaged in what they do? When is the last time you sat down and really shared what you are trying to accomplish and what they could do to help support you? Is there a common factor that could come into play that could bring you together in a mutually beneficial way? Have you identified and expressed ways in which achieving your goals can compliment them achieving their goals?
m o t i va t i o n
Passion Engages Support in Work and Life
What you will find is that not only does your passion engage, but when everyone is working together honoring their passions as well, there is simply nothing that can stop you … absolutely nothing. Bio: Sherré DeMao inspires millions through her monthly columns, weekly Insight eZine and national contributing writing. An expert strategist and marketer focused on entrepreneurs, her unique perspective and innovative approach has earned numerous awards regionally, nationally and internationally including being named among the Top 50 Enterprising Women of North America in 2007. Her books, Me, Myself & Inc. (www.memyselfandinc.com) and 50 Marketing Secrets (www.50marketingsecrets.com) have received national acclaim as Top Business Shelf picks and must reads.
M O T I VA T I O N
by Wayne DeLoriea
This September 11th will mark the 10th year since the attack that simply says, “I love US”or “I love my wife”. My wife is on the two World Trade Center towers. On that day heroism truly my best friend. I was behind another car, the other day, and and bravery flourished. 343 stories unfolded, stories that we read the bumper sticker that said, “I love my wife”. I smiled and will never hear. That day 343 emergency responders paid the thought, “I understand”. My wife is truthful and trustworthy. She ultimate price to save people that they didn’t even know. The tells me that I am the best husband and that I am the best looking Bible says, “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay man...okay, even though that’s an exaggeration, I think she really believes it. AMAZING! She accepts me as I down his life for his friends.” I have am and it takesLast somonth little to her happy. wasmake the anniversary of the date several friends who are emergency my life not forjust the better As a matter of when fact, she is achanged, happy person responders and as different as they all but...fortothe BEST.it,The August was m looking for a reason show but14th the of most are, I see the same trait in all of them. anniversary to theismost amazing thingwedding to me, about my wife, thatwonderful They have a value for the lives of others person ever met. If you’re even through the hardI have times...and there havefamiliar wit and for doing the right thing. Not one what a Proverbs Woman is, then been hard times...she has remained faithfulyou know of them has any morbid fixation but all what I am talking about. to God. She always supports prayerIf not...let in our me tell of them have a passion for protecting you about my beautiful wife. My wife is hard home and something that few are willing to and serving the public and they know working. She is forever doing around the do, in the best of times...our tithing of what that ecah time they put on the uniform house and also works hard outside the home money God provides us. Seeing her let go might be the last time they leave home. Linda is always smiling and has an upbeat of 10% of ourdemeanor, gross income me so I thank God for these friends and I pray even if makes she's having a bad day. Sh very proud to cares be her husband. It makes for them and their families. We lost 343 about the way she looks me and catches aware to the my virtuous giftmyGod has given of our very best 10 years ago… Special eye, holds attention and brings a smil me. I wish all to ofmy youlipsthe same loveliness in my mind people sharing common emotions of whenever she pops into your relationships. You can start buying honor, duty and love. We don’t have or we're together. Sheby inspires me to think her flowers and taking to my dinner... thenI am away a about her, her during day, when to wear a uniform or sacrifice our lives Often, a quick text message tha validate her, inwork. some way,I send every day...even to be special. Let’s all decide now to simply little says, "Itext lovemessage. US"or “I love if it’s just a simple Youmy wife”. support those who do and live by the is truly my bestbuilding, friend. I was behind don’t have to My runwife into a burning same code of honor, duty and love another the othermission day, and to read the incar, a military of others that these fallen heros lived by. It all starts at home. storm in on a crime scene or see action http://nyfd.com/9_11_wtc.html that said, "I love my wife". I lovingsticker man makes you very Denying yourself for the good of family is special…let me tell be special. Being a good, kind andbumper th th smiled and thought, "I understand". My wife special the people who love you most. This September 11 will mark the 10toyear you about my special wife. is truthful and trustworthy. She tells me that attackmy on the Last month was the anniversary of thesince datethewhen lifetwo World Trade Center am the best husband and that I am the best that14th day heroism and bravery Coach changed, not for the better but...for the towers. BEST.On The of looking man...okay, even though that's an stories unfolded, stories that August was my wedding anniversary to flourished. the most 343 wonderful exaggeration, I think she really believes it. we willwhat nevera hear. That day 343 emergency person I have ever met. If you’re familiar with Proverbs acceptsand meExercise as I am and it National AMAZING! Director ofShe Activity responders the ultimate price to save Woman is, then you know what I am talking about.paid If not...let for Meridian Senior Living, Owner &happy. Opera-As a matte takes so little to make her people that they didn’t even know. The Bible tor of Coach’s CORE Fitness Studio, former me tell you about my beautiful wife. My wife is hard working. of fact, she is a happy person just looking for says, “Greater love hath no man than this, that NASCAR Coach, Master Fitness Instructor, She is forever doing around the house and also works hard a reason to show it, but the most amazing Personal Trainer and Sports Nutritionist Wayne a man lay down his life for his friends.” I have outside the home. Linda is always smiling and has an upbeat thing to me, about my wife, is that even DeLoriea, one of NASCAR’s most successful several friends who are emergency responders coaches, through certified the in 80 countries aroundthere the have bee hard times...and demeanor, even if she’s having a bad day.and She about theall are, I see the same as cares different as they world andhard author of “Coach has Without A Whistle” times...she remained faithful to God way she looks and catches my eye, holds and have a value for the traitmy in allattention of them. They and “$elling Your$elf…There’s Magic In the She always supports prayer in our brings a smile to my lips whenever she pops into my mind or Approach”, joins nchealthylifestyles to help you home and lives of others and for doing the right thing. Not something fewand arefitness willing to do, in the realize and attain yourthat nutrition goals. we’re together. She inspires me to think about her, during my one of them has any morbid fixation but all of You maybest contact Coach at: www.deloriea.com of times...our tithing of what money Go day, when I am away at work. Often, I sendthem a quick text message have a passion for protecting and serving Sophie Woman’s Magazine / Sep 2011
the public and they know that ecah time they put on the uniform might be the last time they leave home. I thank God for these friends and I
provides us. Seeing her let go of 10% of our gross income makes me so very proud to be her husband. It makes me aware to the virtuous gift God has given me. I wish all of
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Slow Down! You’re Killing Yourself! The phone is ringing, children are screaming, dogs are barking, work deadlines looming, your head is aching, the house is a mess, and ten people are coming for dinner. Does this sound familiar? Stress kills thousands of people every year, and Americans live a fast-paced life full of stress. At some point most of us come to the realization that we have to make changes in our lifestyle and start taking better care of our bodies and minds. Studies have shown that having an ethereal area around your home or workplace to visit even a short time every day can have a huge impact on your stress level. This space can be either indoors or out. What is an ethereal space? E-the-re-al is an adjective that is a feeling of extreme lightness that seems too perfect for this world. Ether is a gas that exists in the upper areas of the atmosphere or in the “heavens”. An ethereal space makes you feel closer to your idea of heaven. Who doesn’t need that when this world gets too overwhelming and difficult. Even if you do not believe in a supreme being, you can still benefit from sitting in silence in a space that encourages inner calmness. An ethereal space is worshipful, soothing, and can make you feel connected to something that is far greater than yourself. If you’ve visited a cathedral in Europe or even the mountains in our area, you know this wonderful feeling of awe and inspiration. There are several ways to achieve an ethereal area in your home. If you are in the building and design process, it is a great time to include a quiet room that has tall ceilings with arches that point toward the heavens. Light that leads your eyes upward and emphasizes the utmost peak will add to the ambience of your room. An outdoor chapel is another way to achieve a nurturing space. This might be a wooden structure on the ground or a tree house. Create a simple area where you can read, think, pray, write, play music, or anything that make your heart soar and blood pressure drop. A clearing in the trees is a natural ethereal area. The trees point up to the heavens and the natural sunlight streaming through the trees can give you a feeling of being in another world. If this space is in your backyard, simply add a nice bench, hammock, and some stone pavers on the ground. If you work in a cubicle of a tall building, consider going to a park during lunch to get a break.
If you have lower ceilings in your home, you can still create an ethereal space using color and light. Consider adding cove lighting around a tray ceiling, a lighted dome, or strips of small lights around a ceiling medallion. A sky light can give you needed light and can make a dark room come to life. A contrasting color on a ceiling can create a heavenly effect. A section on your ceiling surrounded with molding and an accent color on the inside can add drama and bring your eyes up to the heavens. If you live near the mountains or have an incredible view, find a space in your house that calms your nerves. Set up a sitting area there where you can gaze out at nature and recharge your batteries. For homes with smaller windows, consider replacing one of the smaller ones with a large window for more light and a nice soothing view. Have you visited the Sistine Chapel? There is a mural on the ceiling where God is reaching His hand out toward man. If you get chills every time you remember seeing that ceiling, consider having a muralist paint on a ceiling in your home. Clouds floating on a blue background, angels bringing you good news, or stars on a night sky might bring both your room and your life to a higher level. Other ideas for an ethereal space might include a roof top garden, an indoor water wall, an arbor or gazebo, and a water fall or pond. Use your imagination! Look to the skies for inspiration!
e d u c at i o n
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Susan Guest, ASID is an awardwinning interior designer in Hickory and owner of Guest Interiors, LLC. She is one of the designers featured in “Spectacular Homes of the Carolinas”, found in high-end bookstores around the country. For more information, visit www.guestinteriors.com.
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The Heart Center at Frye Regional Medical Center has been the first in our community to reach many milestones in cardiac care. And that tradition continues today. Frye remains the only hospital in the area with board-certified heart specialists on site with over 200 years of combined experience, providing care 24 hours a day, seven days a week. What does this mean for you? In the event that your heart condition needs advanced treatment, our team is prepared and able to treat you instead of transferring you to another facility, saving you precious time and possibly your life.
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Vincent Patrone, MD Cardiology
Sanjay Patel, MD Cardiology
Cemil Purut, MD Cardiovascular & Thoracic Surgery
Pairoj Rerkpattanapipat, MD Cardiology
Andrew Ross, MD Cardiology
Richard Schultz, MD Cardiology
Thomas Wiley, MD Cardiology
INFORMATION Sophie FOR Woman’s Magazine / Aug 2011
OR A PHYSICIAN REFERRAL, CALL 828-315-3391.
Heart Attack Warning Signs For Women Contributed by Frye Regional Medical Center
Little girls are made of sugar and spice and everything nice. Little boys are made of frogs and snails and puppy dogs tails. Even from the start, little boys and little girls are different. As we grow into adults those differences continue, including how our bodies react to a heart attack. Cardiovascular diseases remain the leading cause of death in the United States. Despite treatment and diagnostic advances, there is a need for healthcare systems and clinicians to better understand gender variations in symptoms of cardiovascular diseases and conditions such as peripheral arterial disease (P.A.D.) and stroke. Heart attack symptoms displayed by men and women are considerably different. When a woman has a heart attack she may experience nausea, overwhelming fatigue and dizziness. Her warning signs of an impending heart attack could include shortness of breath, vomiting, and back or jaw pain. Because these symptoms are often chalked up to stress, women have reported that they have a harder time getting their doctors to recognize these early warning signs. Women also wait longer before seeking medical care. With a heart attack, minutes matter. Seeking help sooner and being proactive about your care can help save heart muscle. Men tend to experience the typical symptoms of a heart attack such as chest tightness, arm pain and shortness of breath. Warning signs common to both men and women include discomfort in the chest or other area of the upper body, shortness of breath, light-headedness and breaking out in a cold sweat.
An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure is especially true for women and heart disease. Admittedly, some heart disease risk factors are beyond our control, such as family history and age. After menopause, a woman’s chance of developing heart disease soars because her body’s production of estrogen drops. But you can take an active role in preventing cardiovascular disease by managing your risk factors. • • • • •
Don’t smoke. Lower your cholesterol. Maintain a normal weight. Exercise. Manage your diabetes, if you have the condition.
Having even one of the risk factors for heart disease can be dangerous. But having multiple risks is even more serious because risk factors tend to intensify the effects of others and increase your chances of developing a heart condition. If your doctor has prescribed medications, be sure to take them exactly as advised. Tell your doctor if you experience any unpleasant side effects. You may be able to adjust the dosage or change to another medicine. Severe chest pain or blood vessel blockages may be surgically treated by coronary angioplasty or coronary artery bypass graft. What’s good for the goose is good for the gander applies when women seek treatment for heart attacks. Just as for men, women should call 9-11 if experiencing symptoms that seem to be life-threatening. Ask for tests that can show if you are having a heart attack and request clot-busting drugs used to stop a heart attack that are best administered within the first hour after a heart attack starts. Heart disease is not just for men. About one woman dies every minute from cardiovascular disease and 64 percent of women who die suddenly of heart disease did not have any previous symptoms. For more information about women and heart disease, check with your doctor or visit the Women’s Heart Foundation Web site at www.womensheartfoundation. org. Stay tuned for information on Frye’s new HeartCaring program, a national program powered by Spirit Health Group and developed in partnership with the National Heart, Lung, and Blood Institute to help women take action to reduce their personal risks for cardiovascular disease.
Sophie Woman’s Magazine / Sep 2011
It’s Time for a Street Strutting Celebration By LeAnna Graves
Put on your struttin’ shoes, and let’s hit the streets of Viewmont! The 2nd annual Viewmont Street Strut, a celebration of the diverse nature of the community is happening in Hickory, NC, on Saturday, September 24. Area businesses, retail shops and restaurants are uniting together to bring this event to life. Donna Price, from Bumblebee Interiors, shared that she is looking forward to the Street Strut. “This is an excellent opportunity for area businesses to bond with each other, and give the community a chance to support our local economy, ” she said. A day long event, the Street Strut is designed to allow neighbors to gather and sample the wide assortment of restaurants and shops, right here in our own back yard. It will also showcase many extremely talented artists and musicians who live and work in the area. “It is a great way for our friends and customers to sample the variety of talent, food, and different types of shopping that is available here” said Debra Whitson, of Warehouse 2120.
There’s going to be a kickoff celebration on Friday night, September 23, featuring the Pop Ferguson Blues Review at Café Gouda. Then, the main festivities commence on Saturday. with every company doing something different to celebrate the day. There will be wine tastings, zumba dancing, live musical entertainment, free food, special sale discounts, fun activities for the kids, talented artists and sculptors for us to meet, an antique car show and motorcycle swap, an All American Fest, plus so much more! So, plan to start early, and finish late! See you at the Street Strut!
Viewmont Street Strut Participating Businesses
Addriene’s Boutique Backstreet’s Resturant Benjamin & Libba’s Bistro 127 Bumblebee Interiors Café Gouda Carolina Bagle Bakery Deborah’s Gracious Gifts Double Duece Cycles England Brother’s Detailing Ever A Woman FastSigns First Citizen’s Bank Frankie Bruno Salon
Sounds like a Gouda Night… Live Music is Back!
koff trut Kic Street S pt. 23 with e Friday, S
20% off Storewide ~~~~~~~~~~~~
Refreshments & Free Gift with Purchase 2945 North Center St. - Hickory 828-431-2233
Open 7am – 9pm Mon–Sat, 8am – 4pm Sun Musical Line Up Featuring Nightly Appetizer Specials Belle Hollow Shopping Center 2960 N. Center Street Hickory, NC 28601 828-267-1300 www.cafegouda.com
Richard Anthony Hair Rita’s Italian Ice Salsarita’s Fresh Cantina The Edmund Center The Jewelry Exchange Unique World Gifts Viewmont Auto Sales Viewmont Service Center Warehouse 2120 Wild Birds Unlimited Wyke’s Cleaners Youseff 242
Street Strut Specials!
Pop Ferguson Blues Revue
fine coffee • gourmet sandwiches & delicatessen
Gail’s Hops & Grapes Generations Aesthetics Healing for Life Hen & Chicken Papers Hickory Tavern Kelly & Co. Lazy Dog Saloon Lisa’s Hallmark McDonald’s Need A Tan? Office Furniture USA Pampered Razzberries Residence Partners
Meet Sculptor Tammy Leigh Brooks featured on Carolina Camera
Viewmont Street Strut Saturday, Sept. 24
Gift Boutique & Design Studio
expect the unexpected
44 29th Ave NE - Hickory, NC (Across from the Hickory Tavern)
See y ou at the Viewmont Street Strut
September 24, 2011 www.sophiewomansmagazine.com
Get Your Cowgirl On
At Gracie’s (704) 872-6100 140 North Center Street Statesville, NC 28677 32
Me Me Me Mondays - Personal Shopping by Appointment Only Tuesday - Friday 10am - 5pm Saturday 10am - 2pm
Sophie Woman’s Magazine / Aug 2011
Shop online at
KEEP YOUR FAMILY SAFE! PREPARE FOR POTENTIAL DISASTERS September is “National Preparedness Month” As parents, we try so very hard to mold our families into feelings of love, understanding, and respect. As Mothers, we do our best to rear our children to be kind and respectful of others. We want them to be smart, not only in school and have good grades, but we also try to help them understand the meaning of “common sense”, one thing we all know is vitally important in today’s society. When it comes to protecting our family, we would “fight to the death” to defend them. Many Moms are quiet, kind, and humble; that is until someone attempts to harm their child. They then become a completely different person, showing an assertive side of their personality their families have probably never seen! There are so many ways in which we show our “protection personality” each and every day, without even realizing it….it is just a way of life. Therefore, I want to make you aware of one more phase of protection that should be at the top of your list and most important to all families that is being prepared for Potential Disasters! Here are a few things to consider about Disaster Preparedness: • Keep an up-to-date disaster kit with water, snacks and other essentials in a place known to all members of your family • Create a phone calling list of all family members, and plan a place where you can meet in the event you CANNOT go home. Be sure all family members carry these numbers and this information • If you use natural gas in your home, teach all family members to recognize and be aware of the smell of gas in the event of a leak • Know the safest place in your home in the event of a tornado or high winds • Make sure even your young children know your address, your full names and how to call 911 • Our children learn fire safety in school, but reinforce and practice the STOP, DROP & ROLL concept to them I could go on and on with ways to make our families and home safer; however, if I can make one point stand out, it is to become AWARE. Know your surroundings, notice when something changes, and most important, don’t hesitate to report anything that seems suspicious to the police, gas company, or fire department. “Better safe than sorry” still applies in our lives today. Please become familiar, involved, and understand the Emergency Plan at your children’s school. After you are comfortable and satisfied with your children’s school safety programs, become familiar with the safety standards at your workplace. Does your company have an Emergency Operations Plan which includes evacuation routes? If a
hazardous chemical spill occurred either at or near your facility, does your management team know what action to take to keep you safe? Please remember, when there is an emergency, the authorities will be on the site, doing their best to keep the public safe; but if your company has safety procedures in place, you would be much more prepared and know quickly what to do for the injured, and how to help keep other employees more safe. It’s extremely important and I hope you understand that you & your family should feel safe in all life situations regardless if you are at home, at work, or out shopping. It is truly unfortunate that we are forced to take such drastic measures to remain safe, but the world just isn’t the way it was when I was growing up. I remember that we didn’t always lock our doors at home, and we never locked our cars. What a change we have seen over the years! Recently, my husband, myself, and our 22-year-old son made a trip to Lincolnton to my parent’s home to install blinds in their living room (a room they seldom use). Shortly after we stepped into the room and began working, ALL three of us smelled something terrible….it smelled like something rotten or dead. My son checked the attic to see if an animal had entered and died; but that was not the case. My husband and I both believed the smell to be that of a “rotten egg” odor generally placed in natural gas; but the problem was that my elderly parents couldn’t smell the odor. I immediately called the gas company and subsequently, the fire department. We were asked to immediately leave the home and remain outside until they completed the investigation. It was a gas leak from the water heater located in the basement with the fumes gathering in the upper part of the house. God was certainly watching over us that day. I don’t know if my parents would have smelled the odor in time to prevent what could have turned out to be disastrous. Please, keep your family safe by learning everything you can about disaster preparedness. You won’t regret it, and you can also be of assistance to others. For a free monthly email SafeLETTER®, please send your request to Lynn at the below email address. STAY SAFE!
Lynn W. Sigmon, FEMA Certified Disaster Preparedness Consultant Business Service Associates, LLC HYPERLINK “mailto:firstname.lastname@example.org” email@example.com
Folk Artist Cher Shaffer Follows Her Own Path By Margaret Allen You never know where you will go if you listen to your inner voice. Thatâ€™s how Cher Shaffer became a nationally recognized folk artist, exhibiting her work in museums around the country and attending major folk art shows. On Oct. 1, she will be one of the artists selling her work at the Lake Norman Folk Art Festival, to be held from 11 a.m. to 4 p.m. at 4689 Giles Road, Sherrills Ford. Shaffer was born with artistic talent, but her early life on a Georgia farm was an unlikely starting point for a career in art. However, she had the gift of observation and imagination. As a child, she made creatures from mud and later began painting on rocks. Although she was not able to attend art school, she pursued her dream. As a young mother, she painted as her children napped. These early paintings depicted the farm life of her grandparents, who were sharecroppers in Mississippi. This style of art met with success. But her artistic direction changed dramatically after she suffered a near-death experience in her 40s. As she recovered, she began to create art that reflected the spirit world of her Native American ancestors. Her art now ranges from paintings of innocent children and playful animals to clay fetishes made to bring good luck or healing. She often touches on the relationship between humans and nature, as many of her animal paintings have strangely human features. Other paintings depict other-worldly creatures that are the stuff of nightmares.
Shaffer has now been a professional artist for more than 30 years. Although her work has changed, she has always stayed true to her inner vision. She believes that the most important part of art is not the finished product, but the process of creating it. For more information about the Lake Norman Folk Art Festival, go to www.lakenormanfolkartfestival.com or www.facebook.com/ LKNfolkartfestival. The festival is sponsored by the Hickory Museum of Art, which has a major collection of contemporary Southern folk art. Margaret Allen is a public relations professional and freelance writer living in the Hickory area. All photos copyrighted by Margaret Allen.
Artwork by Cher Shaffer
Sophie Womanâ€™s Magazine / Sep 2011
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Our Monthly Feature
shutterbuggerz Our August 2011 Contest Was â€œShades of Summer â€œ
Photo Submitted By: Nichol Lancaster Photography
Local Photos of Everyday people, places, and events as seen through the eyes of the area's professional and amateur photographers!
s h u t t e r b u g g e r z . c o m www.shutterbuggerz.com
shutterbuggerz.com pg 38
Photo Submitted By: Lasting Generations Photography
Photo Submitted By: Apryl Suttles
Visit the website to view all the photos and to enter your photo into next monthâ€™s contest.
Photo Submitted By: Tonya Loman Photography
shutterbuggerz.com pg 39
Enter Your Photos At shutterbuggerz.com Local photos of everyday people, places, and events as seen through the eyes of the area's professional and amateur photographers!
how this works
Photo Submitted By: Annette Ray of Sunshine Photography
Submitted by Michael Lail
Each month our readers submit photos to our web site via email, based on the “Montlhy Theme” (visit the website for a list of upcoming themes). During that month, visitors to our web site at shutterbuggerz.com will vote on their favorite photo(s). Each month, the winning photographer (professional and amateur) will receive a prize. Photo Submitted By: Elizabeth Sweet Photography Submitted by
Professional photographers will receive a free 1/4 page ad space in the next issue of Sophie Woman’s Magazine. The amateur winner will receive a $25 Gift Certificate to a local restaurant of their choosing. Promotional apparel provided by:
Capture Life Photography
Please read the submission guidelines and disclaimers on our web site at shutterbuggerz.com. 2010_Sophie_Ad_11-3-10.pdf
Photo Submitted By: Shawn Geiser Photography
Photo Submitted By: Capture Life Photography
Photo Submitted By: Kathy Riddle Photography
Visit the website to view all the photos and to enter your photo into next monthâ€™s contest.
Photo Submitted By: Kathy Riddle Photography
Photo Submitted By: Tonya Loman Photography
Photo Submitted By: Lasting Generations Photography www.shutterbuggerz.com
Photo Submitted By: Capture Life Photography
Photo Submitted By: Danae Beaton Photography
Photo Submitted By: As We See It Photography
Visit the website to view all the photos and to enter your photo into next monthâ€™s contest.
Photo Submitted By: The Everlasting Image
Photo Submitted By: Kimberly Michael Photography
Photo Submitted By: Ed Frazier Photography www.shutterbuggerz.com
Photo Submitted By: Deena Whitener Photography
Photo Submitted By: Cheryl Yoder
Photo Submitted By: Heather Welch
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Photo Submitted By: Deena Whitener Photography
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There’s no other time like your pregnancy From the first pregnancy test to the day your child is born, ever y moment in a new mother ’s pregnancy is special. The physicians and midwife at A Woman’s view are ready to celebrate ever y special milestone with you. Call today for your first obstetric appointment.
Laura Faruque, MD
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Hours: Mon-Fri 8-1 and 2-6
Claire Harraghy, MD
Valerie Taylor, MSN, CNM
915 Tate Blvd SE, Suite 170 | Hickory, NC | www.awomansview.com