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English Descriptive Writing Portfolio

By: Sophie Johansson


1. What is the subject of this description? The subject of this description is about the hideout that Simon has in order to escape the boys on the island. 2. What aspects of the subject does the author show to the reader? The passage shows the image of the hideout that Simon escapes to. It shows us the lord of the flies as well that is on his stick and grinning. He also describes Simon and how he sees the lord of the flies on a stick. This is the aspect of the subject that the author shows us. 3. How does this impact on the way you see the subject in your imagination? The author uses words and descriptions that can create an image in my head. The image that the author wants me to see of Simon and the lord of the flies and it’s surroundings. The author as mentioned above only shows one side of Simon. Here the author shows us the part where he is scared and want’s to escape. This impacts on the image I have of Simon already in my imagination. 4. What images does the author use throughout the piece? The images that the author uses are a group of flies, the lord of the flies, Simon, Flies that are playing around, Butterflies and the clouds are the images that are used in this passage. 5. What dominant impression do these techniques develop? The dominant impression that this passage creates is a hot and sticky feeling. As the sun is present, there are lots of flies. Flies can be associated with hot and sticky because of climates. In hot and humid climates, there are often flies. The lord of the flies is surrounded by flies and has dried blood which also contributes to the dominant impression.


5. What unique observation has the author made? The author has made several unique observations. Such as the lord of the flies on a stick. The boars head was grinning as though he knew Simon was scared. The author also mentioned the flies surrounding the area. Such as the pile of guts was a black blob of flies. So the author connected the clack blob with a group of flies. He also made an observation of the clouds. That they were great bulging towers that sprouted away. The flies also played leap frogs on his legs. These were the observations that stood out the most. 7. List of strong verbs and vocabulary used: - iridescent - ancient - inescapable - a pulse began to beat the brain - pearly stillness - deserted - obscene - illusive 8. Senses used? Sight and sound.


Passage 2: 1. What is the subject of this description? The subject of this passage is the beach. 2. What aspects of the subject does the author show to the reader? The aspect of this subject the beach that the author has chosen to show the heavenly beauty of the landscape by the beach. He uses special words and phrases that portray this subject. Only words that you would associate with a paradise. Such as pink granite, lagoon, green roof, tangle of reflections. 3. How does this impact on the way you see the subject in your imagination? The author has used words and phrases to create an image in my head. The image that he is trying to convey is a beautiful scenery that may conflict with the rest of the images in the book. The author only shows the nice part of the beach. Therefore by using these specific words and phrases, I see the subject the beach landscape as a very beautiful place. This impacts on the way I see a beach or landscape in my imagination. That may specifically not be in this book. 4. What images does the author use throughout the piece? The images that the author has used throughout this pasage are images of the beautiful landscape. The palm trees that have been dried up to form patters, the lagoon, the quivering tangle of reflections from the lagoon, the green roof and the platform of pink granite. These are all the images used to show not tell the reader about the landscape. 5. What dominant impression do these techniques develop? The dominant impression that the images and words create is a beautiful paradise hidden away.


6. What unique observation has the author made? The unique observations that the author has made have been the square motifs of landscape, young palm trees, the criss-cross patterns on the trunks, the green roof created by the palms, quivering tangle of reflections on the trunks made by the lagoon.These are the unique observations that contribute to the dominant impression. 7. List of strong verbs and vocabulary used: - interrupted abruptly - square motif - pink granite - coarse grass - criss-cross patterns - green roof - quivering tangle - lagoon 8. Senses used? Sight and touch.


Passage 3 Plan: 1. What is the subject of this description? The subject of this passage is the view of the other side of the island. Which shows the river and how the water flows through it. 2. What aspects of the subject does the author show to the reader? The aspect shown to the readers of the view from the other side of the island was how the cold ocean water rushes through the broken stones and cliffs. Also how it forms waterfalls and cascades of retreating water. Sometimes throughout the passage, the author has shown the water as personified making it have human like features and personalities. 3. How does this impact on the way you see the subject in your imagination? By using words and phrases, the author has impacted how I view the ocean in my imagination. He has showed me ideas and properties of water that I never could think of myself. Such as the water traveling the distance and being set on other business. This way I would have never through of water with a human like property before. This way by using phrases and words, it has impacted on the way I see the ocean or water in my imagination. 4. What images does the author use throughout the piece? The author uses a handful of images in this passage. Such as the horizon was hard and clipped blue, the deep sea waves, the waves being set on other business, cascades and waterfalls that the ocean makes and to plaster down the seaweed. 5. What dominant impression do these techniques develop? These techniques that the author uses (words and images) create the dominant impression of a rough gushing of the ocean water. As if it is trying to escape.


6. What unique observation has the author made? The unique observations that the author has made is the water traveling the length of the island and being set on other business. This is because it is very unusual to personify water or the ocean with being set on other business. Ceaseless, bulging passage of deep sea waves, making cascades and waterfalls of retreating water, plaster down the seaweed like shining hair, the rise with a roar that the water makes and the water spraying like fingers of spray. All of these create images and these are the unique observations that the author has made from water. 7. List of strong verbs and vocabulary used: - enchantments - Hard, clipped blue - ceaseless - banked ridges of shallow water - disregarding - cascades - waterfalls - retreating water - seaweed like shining hair - rise with roar - irresistibly swelling over point - climbing the little cliff - gully - fingers of spray 8. Senses used? The senses used are sight, sound and touch.


Passage 4 Plan: 1. What is the subject of this description? The subject of this description is Jack as a hunter. 2. What aspects of the subject does the author show to the reader? The author has showed the savage part of Jack. In this passage, Jack is a savage. This can be seen from the red, white and black mask he is wearing. The author uses words such as bloodthirsty snarling, sinewy body and jigged to portray Jack a a hungry savage. The beginning of the passage, Jack is looking at himself in a reflection on the water. He is portrayed as excited. However near the end of the passage the aspect of Jack changes and he becomes a savage. 3. How does this impact on the way you see the subject in your imagination? These words and phrases impacts on the way I see Jack as a character. Through this passage, I can see that Jack transforms from a laughing person to a hungry bloodthirsty savage. Which impacts on the characters personality by him being a person that can change from being happy to bloodthirsty. Therefore, this impacts on the way I see Jack. 4. What images does the author use throughout the piece? The images that the author uses throughout the passage are; a rounded patch of sunlight, awesome stranger, laughing excitedly, sinewy body held up a mask, his laughter became a bloodthirsty snarling, jigged towards Bill. These images help create the overall mood of the scene as well as creating an image of Jack as a savage. 5. What dominant impression do these techniques develop? These images and phrases/words create a dominant impression that is hiding behind savagery.


6. What unique observation has the author made? The unique observations that the author has made has been that he looked at himself astonished, sinewy body held up a mask, his laughter that became a bloodthirsty snarling, and that Jack was liberated from shame and self-consciousness behind the mask. 7. List of strong verbs and vocabulary used: - Rounded patch - Astonishment - Bloodthirsty - Snarling - Jigged - Blundered - Sinewy - Capered - Liberated 8. Senses used? Sight and Sound. * the mask is a symbol of savagery that Jack is hiding behind.


Passage 1 analysis: The author has used a variety of techniques such as images words and phrases to generate an effective description of the subject in this passage. Which is the hideout that Simon has. Here he can find peace and quite. The aspect that the author has shown of this hideout is not pleasant. We would think it would be peaceful and beautiful. Although the author shows us the lord of the flies on a stick and grinning. He describes Simon and his thoughts and feelings towards the lord of the flies. This is the aspect of the hideout that the author has shown to us. This does impact on the way I see the subject in my head. So the author has used words to paint a picture of what this place looks like. The image that the author wants me to see of Simon and the lord of the flies and its surroundings. The author has also shown Simon as a scared character that wants to escape. Which might not be the whole side to Simon. Therefore with words, the author has a big impact on how I see Simon as a character as well as the subject in this description. The images that is used in this passage are the ones of lord of the flies on a stick, Simon, the flies buzzing around as well as the clouds and the butterflies that are floating around. With these words and images, they create the dominant impression of a hot and sticky feeling. The sun can contribute to this dominant impression as well as the flies. As there are usually a lot of flies in hot and humid climates. The lord of the flies also can convey this dominant impression because it is surrounded by flies and has dried blood all over it. Which I believe gives the readers an unpleasant sticky feeling. The author has also made some other more unique observations. Such as the boars head on a stick which was grinning as though he knew Simon wanted to escape. “ his gaze was held by that ancient, inescapable recognition.” Meaning that the lord of the flies was inescapable. Which can also relate back to the unpleasant feeling of being hot and sticky. The other observation is “the pile of guts was a black blob of flies.” When reading this, the author wants the reader to have a disgusting sticky feeling of guts that resemble a blob of flies. Which is why the use of these words create an effective description that relates to the dominant impression.


Passage 2 analysis: The author has used many different techniques to create an effective description of the subject and the dominant impression of this passage. The subject of this passage was the beach. The aspect shown to us by the author is a beautiful aspect of the beaches landscape. He uses special words and phrases to communicate this aspect of the subject. he only uses words that describe a paradise such as pink granite, lagoon, green roof and tangle of reflections. By using these words and phrases, it has an impact on the way I see a paradise in my imagination. The image he is trying to convey may conflict with the images further in the book. So the author only shows the nice parts of the beach. I see the subject as a very beautiful place. This will impact the way I see a beach. The images that the author uses to communicate the subject to create an effective description is; the palm tress have criss-cross patterns on them, the lagoon, the reflections on the palm trees, the green roof and the platform of pink granite. these images show not tell the reader about the landscape. By using these words, phrases and images, the author creates a dominant impression of a beautiful paradise hidden away. The author has observed the scenery uniquely. Such as the patterns on the palm trees, the quivering tangles of reflection on the tree trunks, the pink granite and the young palm trees. these contribute to the dominant impression. He used a list of strong vocabulary to create an effective description. Such as “interrupted abruptly”. This means that the scenery of the other parts of the beach probably was not as beautiful as this place. Therefore, the author has used these words to show the readers that this was a beautiful place that was hidden away from sight. The next very strong phrase was: “covered on the underside with a quivering tangle of reflections from the lagoon”. This shows the reader how the lagoon reflects its light onto the palm trees forming a tangle of reflections. Which we can clearly imagine. Therefore, the author has used effective words to paint a picture in our heads. By using words, phrases and images, the author has created an effective description of the subject in this passage showing the dominant impression.


Passage 3 analysis: The author has used a variety of techniques such as images words and phrases to generate an effective description of the subject in this passage. Which is the view of the other side of the island. The aspect that the author has chosen to show the readers of this subject is how the cold ocean water rushes through the broken stones and cliffs. And how the water form cascades and waterfalls of retreating water. Sometimes through the passage, the author has chosen to show the personified version of the water by making it have a certain personality. By using words to describe the water and how it flows, it impacts the way I see the ocean in my imagination. He has showed me ideas and properties of water that I never could think of myself. Such as the water traveling the distance and being set on other business. This way I would have never through of water with a human like property before. In this way, he has impacted the way I see water and the ocean from now on. The author has also used a handful of good images to create an even more effective passage. Such as the horizon was hard and clipped blue, the deep sea waves, the waves being set on other business, cascades and waterfalls that the ocean makes and to plaster down the seaweed. All these techniques develop a dominant impression. I believe that the dominant impression of this passage is a rough gushing of the ocean water as if it is trying to escape. The author has made a handful of unique observations to convey the dominant impression. Such as “ They traveled the length of the island with an air of disregarding it and being set on other business”. The author has used this quote as a personification of the ocean water. Meaning that the ocean water doesn’t mind it’s surroundings and is being set on other business. This is a human trait which the author has applied to the water. Another unique observation is “Ceaseless, bulging passage of deep sea waves”. This is another personification that is being applied to the water. The water is being described as fearless and can take on anything. This is a human trait. “Making cascades and waterfalls of retreating water”. This means that the ocean creates waterfalls and walls. He used retreating water which could relate back to the dominant impression, of a rough gushing sea that is trying to escape. Retreating is also another word for trying to escape. “A rise of roar” also relates to the dominant impression of a rough sea and is a trait that is taken from a lion. A lion is very rough which communicates the impression. By using these techniques, the author has created an effective description of the subject using a dominant impression.


Passage 4 analysis: The author has used a variety of techniques such as images words and phrases to generate an effective description of the subject in this passage. Which is Jack as a hunter. The aspects of Jack that the author has chosen to show is Jack as a hungry savage. This can be seen from the red, white and black mask he is wearing. The author uses words such as bloodthirsty snarling, sinewy body and jigged to portray Jack as a hungry savage. However, in the beginning of the passage, Jack is described as a happy and excited character. Although towards the end, the aspect changes and Jack becomes a hungry savage. This impacts the way I see Jack as a character in my imagination. Through this passage, I can see that Jack transforms from a laughing person to a hungry bloodthirsty savage. This impacts on the way I see Jack’s personality as it can quickly change. The author uses a lot of imagery in this description. Such as sinewy body held up a mask, his laughter that becomes a bloodthirsty snarling, and how he jigged towards Bill. These images help set the overall mood of the passage as well as creating an image of Jack as a savage. These techniques develop a dominant impression of Jack hiding behind savagery. The author has also made a few unique observations that stand out to communicate the dominant impression. Such as; “ His laughter became a bloodthirsty snarling”. This shows the savage side of Jack as a hunter. Usually a laugh does not represent a bloodthirsty snarling. Therefore, it relates to the dominant impression of Jack hiding behind savagery. The main part of this passage that communicates the dominant impression is: “the mask was a thing on its own, behind which Jack hid, liberated from shame and selfconsciousness”. This means that the mask lead Jack to do things that he did not intend on doing. That the mask is a symbol of savagery that Jack is hiding behind. This relates to the dominant impression that Jack is hiding behind savagery. By using these techniques, the author has created an effective description of the subject in this passage by using the dominant impression.


Original Passage:

New passage: Simon looked up, feeling the weight of his wet hair, and gazed at the sky. Up there, for once, were clouds, great bulging towers that sprouted away over the island, grey and cream and copper-coloured. The clouds were sitting on the land; They emitted, produced moment by moment this cool, breezy heat. Even the butterflies were fluttering in the open space where the obscene thing grinned and dripped. Simon lowered his head, carefully keeping his eyes shut, then sheltered them with his hand. There were a few shadows under the trees and everywhere else a pearly stillness, so that what was real seemed illusive and without definition. The pile of small guts was a beautiful black diamond that glittered in the sun. After a while these flies found Simon. Excited they flew towards the piles of water near simon and drank. They jumped and played leapfrog over the water. They were black and iridescent green without numbering; and in front of Simon, the lord of the flies sat comfortably and smiled. At last Simon gave up and looked back; saw the white pearly teeth and sparkling eyes, the blood- and his gaze was held by the delicious look of a roasted boar. In Simons head, words spun around of the lord of the flies.


Rationale: I changed the negative aspect of the hideout to a positive aspect of the hideout. So instead of the lord of the flies being disgusting, I changed it to being a delicious meal. So the lord of the flies looked roasted and delicious to start to eat. The guts that lay in front of the lord of the flies, I described as being a glittering diamond that shone, instead of being a blob of flies. Which was unappealing and now being very appealing and delicious. The flies that played and annoyed Simon I changed this detail to let the flies play on a puddle of water instead of Simon’s sweat that dripped. Here they played around and played leap frog on the puddles and were not annoyed of Simons presence. The original dominant impression of the passage was an unpleasant hot and sticky feeling brought upon by the lord of the flies and it’s surroundings as well as the spilled guts. So by changing the positive to negative, it has impacted the dominant impression. Therefore, the new dominant impression of this passage would be a beautiful hideout with exotic insects to escape reality because of the change from being positive to negative. Passage:


New passage: Here on the beautiful beach was interrupted abruptly by the odd square like motif of the unappealing landscape; a small platform of dull pink granite thrust up uncompromisingly through the forest and terrace and sand and ocean to make a raised jetty four feet high. The top of this was covered with a thin layer of dark brown muddy soil and coarse grass and shaded with young aged palm trees. There was not enough soil for them to grow to any height and when they reached perhaps twenty feet they fell and dried, forming wrinkles on the tree trunks like an old man’s hand. The palms that still stood made a oddly shaped green roof, covered on the underside with a quivering tangle of lines that was a reflection from the lagoon. Rationale: This passage was originally intended to be very positive. The landscape would be beautiful and paradise like. Although in my new passage, it was very negative. Instead of a square motifs and an appealing landscape, I described this as the odd square motif and unappealing landscape. To switch the subject from positive to negative. I also showed that the top of this was covered with soil. Although I described it as it was covered with a thin layer of dark brown muddy soil. To make this landscape seem less appealing. I also compared the criss-cross line like patterns on the trunks to an old mans wrinkly hand. Instead of a nice criss-cross pattern. So this would add to the affect. By changing all of these words from positive to negative, it affected the dominant impression. The original dominant impression was a beautiful paradise hidden away. However, in my new passage, the dominant impression will be an unappealing landscape. This affected the mood of the description as well as the chosen descriptive words.

English descriptive writing portfolio  
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