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JANUARY 2014


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JANUARY

Explore what's inside this issue! 10 From the Publisher 12 Calendar

36 Gardening 38 Wine 44 Old Timer Predictions

16 Music 22 History 28 My Town 32 Spiritual EXPLORE magazine is published by Schooley Media Ventures in Boerne, TX. EXPLORE Magazine and Schooley Media Ventures are not responsible for any inaccuracies, erroneous information, or typographical errors contained in this publication submitted by advertisers. Opinions expressed do not necessarily reflect the opinions of EXPLORE and/or Schooley Media Ventures. Copyright 2012 Schooley Media Ventures, 265 N. Main, Suite C, Boerne, TX 78006

Contributing Writers

Marjorie Hagy (History) MARJORIE is a bibliophile, a history nut and an insomniac, among several other conditions, both diagnosed and otherwise. When she's not working tirelessly to avoid getting a real job, she nurses an obsession with her grandson and is involved in passing legislation restricting the wearing of socks with sandals. She is an aspiring pet hoarder who enjoys vicious games of Scrabble, reading Agatha Christie, and sitting around doing nothing while claiming to be thinking deeply. Marjorie has five grown children, a poodle to whom she is inordinately devoted in spite of his breath, and holds an Explore record for never having submitted an article on time. She's been writing for us for five years now.

Rene Villanueva (Music)

Rene Villanueva is the lead singer/bass player for the band Hacienda. Having toured worldwide, hacienda has also been featured on several late night shows, including Late Show with David Letterman. Rene and his wife Rachel live in Boerne, TX and just welcomed thier first child.

Publisher Benjamin D. Schooley ben@hillcountryexplore.com Creative Director Benjamin N. Weber ben.weber@smvtexas.com OPERATIONS MANAGER Kate Kent kate@smvtexas.com ADVERTISING SALES 210-507-5250 sales@hillcountryexplore.com

Kendall D. Aaron (Spiritual)

I’m just a normal guy. I’m not a theology student, I don’t preach in church, and I’ve never written a book. I’m just a normal guy that thinks, and feels, and is on a never-ending journey attempting to be the best person I can be. I fail frequently at this quest, yet each day, the quest continues. I’ve lived in Boerne since the late ‘80s, I’ve got a most beautiful wife, three wonderful children, and just really, really love God. Thanks for going on my spiritual journey with me.

8

Old Timer (Ramblings)

The Old Timer tells us he's been a resident of Boerne since about 1965. He enjoys telling people what he doesn't like. When not bust'n punks he can be found feeding the ducks just off Main St. or wandering aimlessly in the newly expanded HEB. Despite his rough and sometimes brash persona, Old Timer is really a wise and thoughtful individual. If you can sort through the BS.

EXPLORE it! LIVE IT! The REAL Kendall County.


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From the Publisher Dearest EXPLORE reader, When I was in college, I worked at the Rainbow Play Systems showroom on weekends in Lubbock. It was a pretty cushy job, I liked the owner (who was also named Ben), and the pay was pretty good. I could get a fair amount of studying done in between customers, and I always liked watching all the kids go nuts on the playsets. For Thanksgiving one year, I wasn’t headed home. The owners were headed out of town, so I was instructed to run the shop from the Friday after Thanksgiving to Sunday evening. The day of Thanksgiving brought with it one of those hellish cold fronts that only the Panhandle can spawn, so in I went on Friday morning with a stack of books, knowing that I’d see very few customers this frigid weekend. Next door to the store was a junkyard. Just your run of the mill junkyard, and the place was locked up tight for the holiday weekend. I was walking outside to stretch my legs while I ate my sandwich for lunch. I had the hood of my coat on, and was trying to shield my face from the stinging wind. As I walked the fence line between our store and the junkyard, I saw him. The dog. But it was no ordinary dog. It was 180 pounds of nightmare. It appeared to be some insane mix of Mastiff and Woolly Mammoth, and it was chained with a ridiculously huge chain. It was laying in this pathetic little doghouse. I was frozen in my tracks, and once he spotted me, he slowly stood and walked over to the fence. He didn’t growl or bark, instead he just sat down and stared at me. I noticed quickly how skinny the dog was, with his ribs exposed under his fur. He sat there, with a slight shiver, and looked pretty darn miserable. I slowly extended my hand with the rest of my sandwich toward the fence and he licked his lips. I pushed it through the fence, and he delicately snapped it up, not with the ferocity I had expected. We stared at each other for a few more moments, and I went back inside to get warm, looking over my shoulder at him. The rest of the day, I kept looking outside at the dog. He rarely moved, just curled up in his little doghouse trying to stay warm, but obviously failing. That night, temperatures were to dip into the teens. Reluctantly, I went home for the night. I tossed and turned that night, worried about that stupid, giant, terrifying dog. Surely he would be a popsicle in the morning. The next day, I jumped out of bed, stopped off and bought a small bag of dog food, and zoomed to work. I took the dog food outside and poured the entire contents over to his side of the fence. He inhaled the food. It was gone in seconds, and then he simply stared at me. I put my hands out and said “That’s all I got buddy”. He whined. I reached forward and put my fingers through the fence, and he gingerly licked them. Frustrated, I went back inside. A half hour later, I was reading something for some class that I’m sure I never needed to know, and I saw a shadow by the glass front door to our office. I looked up, and the dog was sitting on the sidewalk looking at me. The chain was not on him. To this day, I have no idea how he got out. He would have had to get the chain off, AND somehow have gotten through the 6 foot high chain link fence that was lined with razor wire. I

walked over to the door and stared at him, unsure of what to do. If I let him in, he could kill me. Quickly. I would have no defense against a dog of this size. A hungry, pissed off dog. If I left him out there, he was either going to freeze or starve to death. A few seconds of consideration, and I slowly opened the door. He walked in, sniffed at me, walked over to a corner of the warm office and flopped down with a grunt. It reminded me of a noise I would make when my head hits the pillow after an exhausting day. And then he simply slept. He laid there the entire day, only occasionally shifting positions. And then it hit me – I had let him in, but how would I ever get him out? At quitting time, I grabbed my keys, started turning off the lights, and he stood up and waited for me at the door. Outside we walked, I locked up, and he trailed me to my car. I didn’t even think this animal would fit in my little Saturn, but I simply opened the back door, and he jumped right in. It never once dawned on me that I was “stealing” someone’s dog, because that someone didn’t deserve the right to own a dog. Or any other animal, as far as I was concerned. I rolled down the windows, and like any dog, he let his tongue flop in the frigid breeze. You should have seen the looks from the cars next to us at the stoplights. And with that, we went home. I fed him, and he ate everything I would give him. He watched TV with me that night, and he barely moved at all throughout the night. The next morning, he obviously was feeling better and acted like a puppy caught in the body of a beast. I lived alone, and my landlord didn’t allow pets, so I needed to figure out a plan for him quickly. I called a friend, and once the two met, the dog went with my friend Brandon. He was quickly named “Bishop” as well. I liked this name – it seemed to fit him pretty well. I enjoyed getting to keep up with Bishop by visiting my friend Brandon. Brandon was heading home for a quick weekend run a few weeks later, so he and Bishop drove the 400+ miles to his parent’s home outside Tyler, TX. Bishop enjoyed a weekend of playing on Brandon’s family’s ranch, and the two bonded quickly. Brandon brought him back to Lubbock, and they were two peas in a pod. One day Brandon called and told me that Bishop had run away. Well, not really “ran away”; instead he literally smashed a hole in the wooden fence and was gone. Brandon looked everywhere for Bishop, but with no luck. We assumed that surely the local pound would pick him up because somebody would definitely call in the authorities for a dog of Bishop’s size. But sure enough, he never showed up at the pound. Days went by. They became weeks. We slowly gave up on the idea of Bishop returning. Months went by, and life moved on. And then Brandon’s dad called him. “Brandon, I was at the grocery store here in Tyler, and saw a big dog lying under a tree on the outskirts of the parking lot. I went over and took a look at him. Son, it’s Bishop.” Bishop had somehow traveled across almost the entire state of Texas in his trek back to Brandon’s house. His paws were almost rubbed off. One ear had been split in two. He was terribly dehydrated, and was near death. Brandon’s dad took him to the vet, and after almost a week in the hospital, Bishop came home with Brandon’s dad. He put him in the backyard at the family ranch, and Bishop waited for Brandon to return. Except Bishop wasn’t done, I guess. After thousands of dollars in vet bills, and once he was completely healed, Brandon’s dad went outside and Bishop had smashed down the fence and was gone. Again. Nobody ever saw Bishop again. We called the pound for a few days afterward, but just like in Lubbock, he never was picked up. We waited to see if someone would call, as Brandon’s dad had put a collar with their number on it, but that collar was found near the pond in the back of the ranch. Bishop was free again, and obviously, he didn’t linger in one place very long. I think about Bishop often. Such a kind animal, trapped in a body that scared most everyone. I wonder where he went, if he ever stopped running, and if he even survived. I also think he was a pretty good analogy for many important lessons. One is that you can never judge a book (or a dog) by its cover. Another is that no matter what confines you, if you want out, you can make it happen. And lastly, and perhaps most importantly, never stop your adventure. If you dream of seeing the Northern Lights, then you had better go see the Northern Lights. If you want to backpack across Europe, then you had best book your airfare. If you simply require a different zip code for a while, then your bags are ready to be packed. I don’t know if Bishop had a deep desire for any specific location or destination or if he simply wasn’t programmed to stay in one place for long, but I like to think that he always wanted to play fetch with an owner on a beach at the coast. That’s why he was headed south. I like to picture Bishop splashing around in the waves, chasing a stick thrown by a very friendly man that always wanted an enormous Rottweiler-Mastiff-Great Dane mutt dog. A dog that one day just showed up outside his front door. Welcome to January. May you survey your world, and may it be all that you had ever hoped. And if not, I hope you strike out on the adventure to fix it. Even if you have to smash through a fence. Smiling,

Benjamin D. Schooley

10

EXPLORE it! LIVE IT! The REAL Kendall County.


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JANUARY Get out and enjoy the great Texas Hill Country! The most comprehensive events calendar. Send submissions to info@hillcountryexplore.com

January 1 BANDERA Cowgirl Round-up and Show-deo Bandera County Cowgirls show examples of showmanship, dressage and speed events in the arena. Also includes storytellers, singers and songwriters performing. Hill Country State Natural Area. www. tpwd.state.tx.us/state- parks/hill-country 830/7964413

January 1 FREDERICKSBURG Black-Eyed Pea and Cornbread Cook-Off

Partake of these magic peas on New Year’s Day and have good luck all year. Also enjoy live music and wine. Torre di Pietra Vineyards. www.texashillcountry wine.com 830/644-2829

January 3 FREDERICKSBURG First Friday Art Walk

Tour fine art galleries offering special events, refreshments and extended hours. www.ffawf.com 830/997-6523

January 7 BANDERA Cowboy Capital Opry

Begins at 7 p.m. Silver Sage Corral. www.silversage corral.org 830/796-4969

January 8-11 BROWNWOOD Brown County Youth Fair

Brown County Fair Grounds. www.browncountyfairandrodeo.com 325/646-6365

January 9 NEW BRAUNFELS 21ST Annual Hill County Doll Show & Sale

Civic Center, 375 S. Castell Ave., New Braunfels, TX- 9am to 4pm., Adults $5, Children $2. TEXAS BEST. Hourly door prizes and free parking. For more info visit www.dolldr.com or contact dmeredith@dolldr.com or call 830/372/5868.

January 9-Feb. 2 KERRVILLE Collectibles Sale

January 10-12 NEW BRAUNFELS New Braunfels Antique Show

New Braunfels Civic and Convention Center. www. heritageeventcompany.com 918/619-2875

January 11 KERRVILLE Symphony of the Hills

Concert Cailloux Theater. www.symphonyof thehills.org 830/792-7469

January 13-Feb 24th NEW BRAUNFELS Circle Arts Theatre presents “Dirty Rotten Scoundrels.”

Two con artists attempt to pull off the greatest con ever in this musical of mistaken identity. 124 Elizabeth St., New Braunfels, TX 78130. 830/620/4848 www.circleartstheatre.org.

January 17 DRIPPING SPRINGS Hays County Livestock Show

Dripping Springs Ranch Park Event Center. www. hayscountylivestock show.com 512/393-2120

January 18 FREDERICKSBURG Jazz in January at Chisholm Trail Winery Enjoy a live jazz band along with award-winning wines and food. At 2367 Usener Road. www.chisholmtrailwinery. com 830/990-2675

January 18 SPICEWOOD Shake, Rattle and Roll in Concert

Spicewood Vineyards Event Center, 1419 C.R. 409. www.spicewoodarts.org 512/264-2820

January 19 FREDERICKSBURG Kathryn Findlen in Concert

Fredericksburg United Methodist Church. www. fredericksburgmusic club.com 830/990-2886

January 19 NEW BRAUNFELS Cross Lutheran School Daddy Daughter Dance

A wonderful way to create a memorable family tradition. Join in on this community event and dance the night away, dress up, and take pictures to remember a remarkable evening. Father and daughters of all ages are welcome. 2171 E. Common St, New Braunfels, TX 78130. 830/625/3969 www.facebook.com/crosslutheranschool.

January 25 BANDERA Wild Game Dinner

Enjoy everything from venison chili to wild boar, bear and elk from 4–7 p.m. Grace Lutheran Church. 830/796-3091

January 25 FREDERICKSBURG Hill Country Artifact Show

Features some of the finest Native American artifacts from Texas and the nation. Pioneer Pavilion at the Lady Bird Johnson Municipal Park. www. hillcountryartifacts.com 830/626-5561

January 25 LUCKENBACH Luckenbach Blues Festival

At 412 Luckenbach Town Loop. www.luckenbachtexas.com 830/997-3224

January 27 BOERNE The Ten Tenors in Concert

Boerne Champion High School Auditorium, 201 Charger Blvd. www.boerneperformingarts. com 830/331-9079

January 27 NEW BRAUNFELS Greatest Hits Live @ The Brauntex Theatre Phantom 46 featuring Dennis Peek, Tommy Thompson and Tom Gillam will be performing greatest hits. Tickets available at the door- $5. 290 W. San Antonio St., New Braunfels, TX 78130. 830/627-0808 www.brauntex.org.

Kerr Arts and Cultural Center. www.kacckerrville. com 830/895-2911

12

EXPLORE it! LIVE IT! The REAL Kendall County.


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Your place in the city... There’s no place like home, and if you visit the city often, there’s nothing like having your own place to stay. And nothing else in San Antonio comes close to the luxurious concierge lifestyle of The Broadway. Minutes from downtown and close to both Trinity and Incarnate Word Universities, The Broadway offers views that are nothing short of spectacular, and on a clear day you’ll swear you can see all the way to the Hill Country from many of the residences! Call and talk to Phyllis Browning or Jennifer Shemwell, 210-824-7878, and arrange a personal tour of The Broadway next time you’re in town.

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JANUARY 2014

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14

EXPLORE it! LIVE IT! The REAL Kendall County.


Happy New Year

Little Gretel's Biergarten Roast Pork Feast Thursday January 16th Pig Grilling Menu: Slow Roasted Pig Picante White Cabbage Salad Potato Pankakes Mashed Potatoes Pickles Horseradish-Apple Salad Spicy German Mustard Fresh Pineapple Salad Czech Bread $35 per person January 16th Pig Grilling 4pm-5pm Dinner served 5pm-9pm Make your Reservations

830-331-1368

518 RIVER ROAD, BOERNE, TX WWW.LITTLEGRETEL.COM 830-331-1368

JANUARY 2014

www.hillcountryexplore.com

15


MUSIC

By Rene Villanueva

N E W New ideas. New thinking. Standing on the heels of 2014, seems like the right time for talking about awareness. The strange moments when we look, when we take stock of ourselves. Where we are. Who we want to be. This is a story about a moment of my awareness.  “Can you hear it ok...?” His voice cracked out from a small, beige speaker. Had to be made in the forties or fifties, all wood, still sounding warm. The abruptness jumped at my chest with a thud. “Yeah...I’m good,” I answered in to the microphone hanging inches from my face in the dark room. My throat and lips like sand paper, the air was desert-dry from running the heater, but it was my nerves getting to me more than the winter.  Suddenly I felt the flush of blood on my forehead. And I’m starting to wish I didn’t have that last beer, and was wishing for a glass of water instead. The red-light came on overhead like a striking bell. It was time. 

16

EXPLORE it! LIVE IT! The REAL Kendall County.


The tape rolling. The machine is a few rooms away, but I can see it. In my mind. Slowly passing from one reel to the next. The soft hum of the machine permeating into the now. The click of the button as Dan, our producer, hits record. The moment was alive. Divinely electric. I feel everything buzz, the dancing vibration of pitch as the music queued. The living second recorded. And I knew this was different. Different from home. Different from what I dreamt of as a kid. This was real. Just me and the microphone carving out an instant conversion of thought into sound. Living, not performing. A small group: the band, producer, engineer, and the family, listened in from the other room, but in my headphones there was no one else. Anticipation can eat nerves. And I had built up so much anticipation before my first officially recorded vocal. I knew the song. I wrote it. Been singing it for a while. Carried out around in my head around the house, up and down main street, and in the halls of school.  And still I felt every second as I crossed from could-be, to now, to was. Building a pressure in my head. In my heart. As the moment drew closer, the pressure drew me inward. It’s point becoming smaller and smaller until I could feel it sharply touching my thought. Like a finger to a map. Directing me to this moment.  And I sung. Listening to the music like it was my whole life. Giving the words like it was every bit of me. It wasn’t prefect. I did several takes. But the first try gave me a sudden hyper-awareness. Without having to think about it. Without trying. I had been smacked on the head, and pulled out of the haze of life. The zombie walk of day to day. That was behind me. There was good air in my lungs, and everything felt clear. I wasn’t nervous, I was awake. If you let it, that’s exactly what every new year can give. A chance to live in the moment, to recognize what is, from what was and will be. A finger pointing in. Music orchestrated for you in this instant. A song of you. The past has brought you to this place, this time, for you to go. The light is on. Tape rolling. What will you sing?

A son of South-Texas, and two of the most beautiful souls I’ll ever know. Writer, dreamer, singer of songs, bass player, and professional observer. Toured the world with my band of “real-blood-tied” brothers, and friends as Hacienda/Fast-five. Recorded three albums, written countless songs, played countless shows, including two national tv late-night extravaganzas, festivals, throwdowns, parties, and hoot-nights. Lover of books, vinyl, dancing, people who laugh loud, walking, vintage craftsmanship, and my home in Boerne.

JANUARY 2014

www.hillcountryexplore.com

17


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From start to finish we want you to be comfortable with your Performance Land Cruisers experience. We can tailor our services to meet the level of input you want. As early as guiding you during the initial purchase of your vehicle, transport, suggestions for customization or conversion options we will be there every step of the way. Your Performance Land Cruiser might be your every day driver, your ranch/utility or your conversation piece vehicle. But rest assured it will continue to perform for years to come and we want you to enjoy your vehicle for whatever purpose you have for it.

Cr eate or Convert

We have the ability to create your vehicle into any road legal (or not) vehicle you have in mind. With our years of experience we can troubleshoot to solve most conversion or customization requests. If you have something special in mind then you have come to the right place. We install & distribute ICON, Rigid Light Industries, ARB, Warn, Rotopax & Auto Meter in addition to our customized parts and solutions. Our personal hobby is hot rods, road racing, hunting & fishing. So feel free to contact us if you share the same interests or visit us on facebook to watch us roll!

Speed Shop

Wether your vehicle is in need of an upgrade or perhaps it’s been sitting in your garage and in need of a complete overhaul or you have one that needs some fine tuning to restore it or turn it into a mega motor machine we have the expertise to create, convert or modify the vehicle of your dreams.

830-623 -0530

635 Highway 46 - Boerne, Texas 78006

www.pcass-tx.com


EXPLORE

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Just North of Boerne towards Comfort

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4. Boot Jack Bar 1 FM 3551, Ste. 100, Bergheim, TX 78004 210-861-0074 www.bootjackbar.com

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13. GENT 930 E. Blanco, Boerne, TX 78006 830-443-4500 www.completegent.com 14. Graves Group 210 E Blanco, Boerne, TX 78006 210-408-4053 www.txhillcountryproperties.com 15. Gussied Up 905 North Main Street, Boerne, TX 78006

17. Hill Country CrossFit 37131 IH-10 West, #200, Boerne, Texas 78006 830-446-3084 www.hccfit.com

7. Cibolo Creek Nursing Center 1440 River Rd., Boerne, TX 78006 830-816-5095 www.cibolocreekhealth.com

18. JR Mooney Galleries 305 S. Main St., #400, Boerne, TX 78006 830-816-5106 www.jrmooneygalleries.com

8. Dancer’s Bag 615 S. Main St., Boerne, TX 78006 830-331-2428 www.dancersbagboerne.com

19. JST Outfitters 635 Hwy. 46 East, Suite 102, Boerne, TX 78006 830-336-4867 www.jstoutfittersllc.com

9. DermSA 15900 La Cantera Pkwy., Ste. 20270, San Antonio, TX 78256 210-641-9500 www.dermsa.com

20. KCN Builders 920 East Blanco Rd., Boerne, TX 78006 830-816-5202 www.kcnbuilders.com

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23. Little Gretel 518 River Rd., Boerne, TX 78006 830-331-1368 www.littlegretel.com 24. Lodge at Leon Springs 24137 Boerne Stage Rd., San Antonio, TX 78255 210-698-9365 www.boerneassistedliving.com 25. Ms. Sue’s Art Studio Fair Oaks Ranch, Texas 415-246-4017 www.mssuesart.com 26. Riverbed Concrete 39390 W IH-10 Suite C, Boerne, TX 78006 830-981-2210 www.riverbedconcrete.com

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6. Celeste 140 S Main St, Boerne, TX 78006 830-249-9660 www.shopcelestetx.com

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16. Hearts’ Home Acoustics 109 Oak Park Dr., Boerne, TX 78006 830-331-9840 www.heartshomeacoustics.com

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5. Catrina’s Ranch Interiors 31300 IH-10 W., Boerne, TX 78006 830-755-6355 www.catrinasranchinteriors.com

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3. Athletic Republic 1024 North Main St., Boerne, TX 78006 830-816-5513 www.athleticrepublicboerne.com

12. Fantastic Sams 1375 S Main St # 215, Boerne, TX 78006 830-249-6916 www.fantasticsams.com

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2. ARTchitectural Interiors 1350 E. Southcross, San Antonio, TX 78223 210-533-1269 www.artchitectural.com

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1. All County Home Care & Hospice 32826 IH-10 West, Boerne, Texas 78006 830-331-1291 www.allcountyhomecareandhospice.com

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31. Texas Investors Title 101 S Main St., #C, Boerne, TX 78006 830-816-5888 www.texasinvestorstitle.com

27. R&R Tractor 28660 IH-10 West, Boerne, Texas 78006 830-755-9080 www.rrtractor.com

32. Texas Ranches For Sale & Lonestar Properties 222 South Main St., Boerne, Texas 78006 830-249-9339 www.texasranchesforsale.com

28. Rick’s Studio 28286-1 Boerne Stage Rd, Boerne, Texas 78006 830-981-4171 www.steviericksstudio.com

33. Texas Tack & Rags 28765 IH 10 W., Boerne, TX 78006 830-981-5577 www.txtacknrags.com

10. Dr. Chet Hawkins 806 N Main St., Boerne, TX 78006 830-249-7870

21. Leslie Brown, Realtor 24200 IH-10 W., #101, San Antonio, TX 78257 210-698-4717 www.lesliebrownhomes.com

29. Sports & Family Medicine of Boerne 136 Old San Antonio Rd., Ste. 406, Boerne, TX 78006 830-816-5800 www.sfmboerne.com

34. Toyota of Boerne 31205 I-10 W, Boerne, TX 78006 210-870-1800 www.toyotaofboerne.com

11. Elegance and Life Barre Studio 412 River Rd. #104, Boerne, TX 78006 830-331-8939 www.eleganceandlifebarre.com

22. Lillian’s of Boerne 107 E San Antonio Ave, Boerne, TX 78006 830-446-2182 www.lilliansshoppe.com

30. St. Peter the Apostle Parish 202 W. Kronkosky St., Boerne, TX 78006 830-816-2233 www.stpetersboerne.com

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35. Woodhouse Day Spa 908 S. Main St., Boerne, TX 78006 830-331-8511 boerne.woodhousespas.com

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All performances at 7:30pm at Boerne Champion High School Auditorium The Ten Tenors – Monday, January 27 The StepCrew – Monday, February 10 Time for Three – Tuesday, March 25 SPECIAL EVENT – Voca People – Thursday, March 6 Single Tickets $30 - $40 - $60 for The Ten Tenors, The StepCrew, and Time for Three SPECIAL EVENT Single Tickets $35 - $45 - $60 for Voca People

Tickets available at: www.boerneperformingarts.com • 830-331-9079 • Boerne Convention & Visitors Bureau OR Greater Boerne Chamber of Commerce

Thank you! Wishing all of our clients, friends and associates the Very Best for the New Year! Our sincere thanks for helping us to achieve the coveted “Centurion” Platinum Top 50 status (Platinum Top 50 Realtors® 5 years in a row) as well as San Antonio Business Journal Top 5 for the fifth straight year. We have completed over 100 sales in 2013 and we look forward to helping you with all your real estate needs in 2014! – Bill and Denise Graves, Founders and Principals

The Graves Group The art of fine residential real estate

Office: 830-331-9898 I Cell: 210-260-2176 I www.thegravesgroup.com

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210 E. Blanco, Boerne, Texas 78006

EXPLORE it! LIVE IT! The REAL Kendall County.


MASSAGE MATTERS Proudly presents

MASSAGE AROUND THE WORLD Experience the most unique massages from around the world, without ever leaving Boerne! Collect all 12 stamps in your very own Passport. January through December 2014 only! Complete all 12 months to be entered into our drawing to receive a 1 year gift of massage, a weekend getaway, and more! Follow us on Facebook: Massage Matters-Boerne Passports are non-transferrable. Each specialty massage available only during the month specified. Appointment required. For more details visit our website at www.massagemattersbynancy.com

January Sweden: Swedish Massage

July Greece: Sports Massage

February Brazil: Hot Stone Massage

August Japan: Acupressure

March India: Ayurveda Scalp Massage

September Egypt: Aromatherapy

April Canada: Raindrop Therapy

October Israel: Dead Sea Mud Mask

May Bali: Jamu Massage

November Thailand: Thai Herbal Ball Massage

June Polynesia: Lomi Lomi

December China: Reflexology

New location - New therapists

930 E. Blanco St. #800, Boerne • 830-331-8480 www.massagemattersbynancy.com


HISTORY

Unwilling

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EXPLORE it! LIVE IT! The REAL Kendall County.


By Marjorie Hagy | thefam2001@yahoo.com The Germans left their home and everything they knew, risked their lives in the holds of stinking ships, and landed in the port city of Indianola to find it disease ridden and over crowded. Once there, they were stranded with no food, no housing, and no transportation to the new lives America promised. Relying on the kindness of others, they moved all of their worldy possessions from the coast to the Hill Country and carved farms out of forest with back-breaking labor eventually founding little jewels of towns among the hills. These people did none of these things with the intent to betray their new country, lose their possessions, or be forced to fight and die for principles they abhorred. No, not for something they called evil. There was bad weather brewing in the nation in those final antebellum days. It was like the cloying humidity, the lowering sky and that eerie red-violet light that broods when the coming storm won’t break. And the storm on the horizon in the Hill Country was one of Biblical proportions. In the words of Judge August Siemering, founder of the SA Express News, in his 1876 book called The Germans in Texas During the Civil War, ‘an uncomfortable feeling of uncertainty started creeping on all who opposed slavery, like the feeling preceding a thunderstorm of the worst kind.’ The situation was, the German-Texans overwhelmingly opposed slavery. They had risked it all largely because of their belief in the freedom in the new world of Texas. Not only their own freedom, though that was a powerful consideration of course, but also because they believed in the principle of freedom for all people, and in the possibilities of this wide open place as a land of freedom. And they felt great loyalty to their new country, and no desire to secede from the Union over principles which they vehemently opposed. Also, one of the most compelling reasons for lighting out from the Old Country was the forced military service there. Many scores of men had been sacrificed to the Napoleonic Wars, and they could pretty well see which way the wind would blow if there was war between the states. It was a powder keg of a situation. All those German immigrants and their anti-slavery, anti-secessionist views. The Tejanos, those Texans of Mexican and Spanish descent who were also opposed to slavery yet were still sore with the United States over other matters (Manifest Destiny didn’t tend to make a young nation real popular with the ancient civilizations who were living there long before white people came around). There were also the ‘Anglos’. What they called the people who’d emigrated from other, mostly Southern, US states for the wide-open range, the promise of wealth, a fresh start, or just one step ahead of the law. Those Anglos, by and large, supported the Confederacy. That storm just over the horizon was starting to make ugly noises; ominous flashes of lightening could be clearly seen. In 1860 the State of Texas voted on the issue of secession. Kerr County, with a population mix of Germans, Tejanos and Anglos, voted for secession, but only by a narrow seventy-six to fifty-seven. Gillespie County, where the population was more than three-quarters German, voted it down flat, by a vote of four hundred to seventeen. Texas seceded anyway, of course, and the die was cast. But you know the new Confederate State of Texas kept a weather eye on the Germans. Those votes didn’t make the situation any more comfortable for anybody. Then in April, 1862, at the urging of old General Robert E Lee himself, the Southern states ratified the Confederate Conscription Law, which required all men between the ages of eighteen and thirty-five to volunteer for and serve in the Confederate States Army (the following year the law was broadened to include all males from seventeen to fifty.) The law was wildly unpopular all over the South, where they said it was a rich man’s war but a poor man’s fight. And while the poor men were off defending the rich men’s property, their own farms and families were going to hell in a handbasket. Unable to get crops into the ground, their livestock, food and everything they had confiscated for the use of the army, people were literally starving to death back home. In GermanTexan territory in the Hill Country, where the people had voted against secession, the law was particularly hated, and more so for the reason that it took men away from the defense of the frontier from Indian raiders who took full advantage of their distraction. There were loud and militant protests, and the military responded with an iron fist. On May 30, 1862, General

JANUARY 2014

Philemon Herbert, commander of the Confederacy’s Military Department of Texas, issued the order that put the whole state of Texas under martial law. I honestly never knew that. Under martial law, provost guards were appointed to administer conscription- that is, force the reluctant into the Armyand their powers increased rapidly and soon came to encompass the confiscation of personal property deemed necessary for the welfare of the CSA. The situation was ripe for wild abuse, and it was, of course, wildly abused. Wagons, oxen, mules, horses, foodstuff, crops and livestock were all swept up and disappeared into the black market. Into the pockets of officials. ‘The administration of the law,’ says one report, ‘became ruthless.’ And it would get worse. Much, much worse. At this point the protests grew loud, violent and ugly, and the Hill Country Germans were the loudest of all. In 1861, several bigshots and local officials of Gillespie County, including the mayor and the sheriff, had secretly organized as the Union Loyal League. The League has been described variously, according to who’s describing it. Some sources called it a militia organization formed in order to protect the people of the Hill Country from Indian raids and Confederate ‘actions’. Another author stated, ‘the League’s real purpose was to thwart Confederate conscription and to attempt to maintain Union loyalty within the Hill Country German communities.’ Some of the actions attributed to the League were writing insurrectionist letters, establishing an underground communication system between them and the Union, and ‘to intimidate anyone who supported the Confederacy. They… earned the title of traitors and insurrectionists from secessionists.’ At least one source believes that the Union League organized militias in eighteen German communities to actively oppose the Confederacy. Well, that wasn’t going to ease the tension much. Letters were intercepted by the Confederates connecting the Union League with leading Unionists, and the storm broke. General HP Bee, the commander of the CSA forces in South Texas, declared Gillespie, Kerr, Kendall, Medina and Bexar Counties to be ‘in open rebellion’, and war was effectively declared upon them. Fredericksburg was occupied by Confederate troops, led by Captain James Duff. Duff, ‘a gruff, brooding Scotsman’, had been dishonorably discharged from the US Army several years before he landed in the CSA and declared himself provost over the occupied Fredericksburg. He was a vicious, merciless man who would be called the most brutal Confederate commander in the Hill Country, and ever afterwards be known as ‘the Butcher of Fredericksburg’. He was one of the most hated men of the era, definitely the most loathed in the Texas Hill Country. Soon after taking charge, Duff wrote in a letter: ‘The goddamn Dutchmen are Unionists to a man… I will hang all I suspect of being anti-Confederate.’ This in a town that had voted against secession four hundred to seventeen. There were hangings, and there was brutality. There were midnight raids in which young men were snatched from their beds, their parents hanged and their homes burned as punishment for avoiding military conscription. It was the time of the Hangebund, or DieHaengerbaende - the Hanging Band. It was a reign of terror. It got to be so that the people in town and on the outlying farms fled their homes at dusk to hide in the hills and forests in order to save their lives - they said two thousand people disappeared into the hills to hide. Others left town permanently, and the Latin colony at Sisterdale emptied out; many of the Freethinkers left Comfort forever, and the last of ‘The Forty’ disappeared from Texas forever. And then there came the massacre. Some reports say the sixty-three Germans, one Mexican and four Anglos were on their way to Mexico in order to avoid the draft. Another report claims that Duff had learned of a plot to attack Confederate troops. Others believe the men were intending to reach the mouth of the Rio Grande and join the Union forces keeping the blockade there; at least one member of the group had stated his intention of joining up with the Union Army. One report maintains that they even called themselves ‘The Comfort Company of the Union Army.’ At any rate, somehow word got through to the ranks that whichever of them wanted to flee to Mexico to avoid the draft should gather at Turtle Creek in Kerr County, and the sixty-eight men

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arrived at the appointed time. They were mostly older men and young boys, and all of them were targeted for the conscription. They were from Gillespie, Kendall, Kerr and Mason Counties. They elected Major Fritz Tegener as their commander and his Fredericksburg neighbor Henry Joseph Schwethelm as his second-in-command, and the party made their desperate run. At one point on their flight the men ran into one Charles Bergmann, at a crossing of the Guadalupe River, and apparently did a little confiscation of their own, relieving him of his supplies, whatever those might have been. This naturally upset Mr. Bergmann, and when he ran into a troop of rebel soldiers, he was either forced, or voluntarily told them that he had been robbed by a force of German Unionists who were at that moment headed for Mexico. When this report was carried to Duff, the Butcher of Fredericksburg burst into a rage. Duff sent word to a Lieutenant CD McRae in San Antonio, ordering him to track down the ‘deserters’, and do what he needed to do. It is said that Duff told McRae that he ‘didn’t want to hear any word about survivors of any conflict that might ensue.’ McRae had his marching orders, and he set out with a force of ninety-four men, including Bergmann, to hunt down the Germans. On the evening of August 9, 1862, the Unionist group was camped on the West Fork of the Nueces River in Kinney County, Texas, not far from the Rio Grande. Four sentries were posted, and the men eventually curled up in their bedrolls and went to sleep. The ambush happened just after midnight. Reports vary - that twenty-six of the Germans were killed outright, as they slept in their bedrolls, an all-out massacre. That they were crushed underneath the hooves of the horses charging in under the Patrollers. That ‘vengeful, blood-thirsty Confederates perpetrated an out-and-out massacre of politically innocent Germans who were just loyal to their Union.’ That the men were alerted by the gunfire as the rebel soldiers fired on the sentries, and went out, heavily armed, to meet them in battle. As historian Robert G Schulz, Jr, wrote, ‘the truth is probably in veiled hiding somewhere among the various, heavily-colored accounts.’ Thirty-five of the Unionists were killed in all, some after escaping from the initial battle/massacre- seven or eight by a different group of Confederate Patrollers in October as they tried to cross the Rio Grande, and another nine who were captured at various locations and summarily executed. And some of the wounded in the first assault. One of the Confederate soldiers came back from an unsuccessful search for escapees, to find that eleven wounded men had been executed. ‘It can’t be possible they have murdered the prisoners in cold blood!’ he gasped. ‘Oh yes,’ the other replied, ‘they’re all dead, sure enough, and a good job, too.’ When the news of the Battle of the Nueces- or the Nueces Massacre, depending upon who told the story- got back to the Hill Country, there was fresh hell. There was outrage, there were wails of grief, and there was more rioting, and more Unionists were scared out of the hills and hanged. In the aftermath of the tragedy, what came to be called the Bushwhacker War broke out between Confederates and Union sympathizers. Bushwhacker was one of the names of those irregular, guerilla forces of the Confederate Army from whence sprang the troops that chased the Unionists nearly to Mexico- they were also called the Patrollers, Die Haengerbaende, the Hanging Band. ‘Ambushes,’ one historian wrote, ‘from both sides were so common that many features of the surrounding terrain were named Bushwhacker. Many homes and farms were set on fire, and sometimes the occupants were shot. These incidents created animosity between the two factions and it continues today among the descendants of German Unionists and Confederate sympathizers.’ He wrote that in the year 2000. The killing didn’t end until the last death in 1889, twenty-seven years after the Nueces. The Unionist dead on the West Fork of the Nueces were not buried, the families of the fallen barred from any access to their hero’s bodies until after the end of the Civil War. Henry Joseph Schwethelm, second-in-command of the doomed party, one of the very few survivors of the campsite massacre, was able to flee into the Mexican interior, where he caught a ship to New Orleans and there joined the United States Army. After the war, on August 10, 1865, the third anniversary of the Battle of the Nueces, Schwethelm led a group to Comfort, to gather the bones of the fallen. Animals and the elements had been at them in the three intervening years, those years of war, famine, of neighbor against neighbor, American against American, and the men gathered what remains they could and took them home, and buried them on a little hill in the middle of the town of Comfort. The next year they dedicated the Treur der Union monument on the anniversary, once again, and it is the only monument to the Union, besides National Cemeteries, on former Confederate territory. This August will see the sesquicentennial of that battle, that massacre, that heart-breaking tragedy, and it is hard, from this vantage point, not to see those men as heroes, as they surely were. They surely were.

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EXPLORE it! LIVE IT! The REAL Kendall County.


Welcome to Boerne

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Bluebonnet Realty HOMES FOR SALE

1.) FOR SALE - $139,500 - 3 bed, 2 ba + bonus room on 1/2 acre in Ranger Creek. HOA includes use of the community pool, tennis courts, club house, and covers the trash pick up.

2.) For Sale - $695,000 - 3 houses, barn, smokehouse all on 2.82 acres with rental income in place. Lots of potential in all three structures! Large covered pavilion/carport, property fenced on 3 sides, close to IH-10 and auto dealerships.

3.) For Sale - $435,00 - Fair Oaks home on 1.23 acres cul-de-sac setting. Approx. 3108 sf.of living area including 3 bedrooms, 2 full baths, and oversized 2 car garage. Front and back yard completely fenced. Beautiful Hickory wood floors in large open floor plan. Must see! Priced at market to sell quickly!

HOMES & COMMERCIAL FOR LEASE ! D SE

LEA

4.) FOR LEASE - $1500 Boerne Heights 3 bed, 2 ba, approx. 1600 s.f. of living area, new ceramic tile floors installed in living areas, convenient location.

5.) FOR LEASE - $2850 4 bedroom, 3 bath home in Cordillera Ranch on 4.57 Acres with great outdoor kitchen for entertaining.

6.) FOR LEASE - $2500 - Napa Oaks new home. 4 bedrooms, 3.5 baths, beautiful kitchen and family room. Be the first to live in this home. Gated community with pool for residents. Fair Oaks exit off IH-10 for easy commute.

8.) FOR LEASE - $1200 3 bed, 2 bath on 1/2 acre in Ranger Creek.

9.) FOR LEASE - $1575 Charming 2 bed, 2 ba, with office/ guest room in Ranger Creek. Beautiful yard, garden, and covered patio with arbor. Close to community pool and tennis courts.

! D SE

LEA

7.) FOR LEASE - $2650 - Trails of Herff 5 bedroom, 3 bath, approx. 3000+ s.f. of living area, with fenced yard and lots of trees. 3 family areas including cozy eat in kitchen with large fireplace.

830-816-2288 • www.boernetexashomes.com


(830) 331-9966

::

M-Th: 10:30am - 9pm

info@mainstcafeboerne.com ::

::

Fridays: 10:30am - 11pm

1101 South Main Street ::

Saturday: 9am - 10pm

:: ::

Boerne, Texas 78006 Sunday: 9am - 3pm

BUY ONE ENTREE GET THE SECOND HALF OFF expires 11/30


Aztec Oatmeal/Red cardigan by Angie $70.95; seamless undershirt Red by Nikibiki; Athletic fit Request Jeans $54.95

Beaucoup jewelry prices vary. Real cultured pearls, assorted gold or silver charms

Open Mon.-Sat. 10am to 5:30pm Sun. 12pm-5pm

Ceicico woven cape $39.95; seamless grey undershirt by Nikibiki; LA Boot Cut jeans by A Grace $54.95

Pink and Pepper dark red suede heel $36.95

Sofft Merlot patent leather pump. $79.95

Global Taupe Naughty Monkey suede boot $134.95

Juan Antonio tote handmade in the USA$329.95

Walleska echochicc clutch. Handmade out of pull tabs. Prices vary

25% OFF

Any purchase over $100 (830) 331-2594 711 Main Street, Boerne, Texas

Expires 1-31-14 (not valid with any other discount or sale)


We here at EXPLORE take pride in the little community we have here nestled in the Hill Country. We wanted to start the new year off with a new feature we’re calling “My Town.” In the coming months we’ll be featuring people throughout Boerne and surrounding areas who you may or may not know. While you may be familiar with their business or work, you may not know them personally. We’d like to remedy that. Enjoy!

NAME: Jana & Danny Bezet TITLE: Owners/Operators (officially President & V.P.) BUSINESS: Bumdoodler’s Lunch Co. (We also have Danco Builders, my husband is a custom home builder) DATE FOUNDED: October 1982 HISTORY: My mom was a stay at home mom with 6 children. In 1980 my oldest sister died in a car accident and my next 2 oldest siblings were hospitalized, but eventually recovered. As you could imagine the next few years were very difficult for my mother. Bumdoodler’s was originally opened by another couple who only ran it for a few months before putting it up for sale. Mom’s best friend saw the restaurant for sale and she immediately knew that God was at work. It was exactly what mom needed to get her out of the house and keep her busy. Although it took years for the business to become successful, mom’s hard work and determination kept her from giving up. Because Bumdoodlers was founded by someone else, there have been many explanations as to how it got the name ‘Bumdoodler’s’. For what we know it was a word that the founder often used when he couldn’t recall the name of something, similar to ‘thing-a-magig’. We still use the original menu but have added to it. Some people would be surprised to know that Bum’s used to serve beer and bought their bread form the Boerne Bakery in town. Early on mom started making a couple of pies at home and bringing them in to sell by the slice, however health department regulations did not allow for that. Eventually mom expanded and added a full scale

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bakery known as Gerri’s Pies. We still make all our pies and bread from scratch there to this day. In 2000 my mom and dad were approached by someone that wanted to buy the restaurant and were considering retiring. It wasn’t until that time that I realized that it was my time to take it over and so in 2001 I bought Bumdoodler’s from my parents. In September of 2010 my husband Danny and I opened a second location in Kerrville. GROWING UP: I was only 7 when mom bought Bumdoodler’s and so I spent quite a bit of time tagging along with her to work. I went from being too small to see over the counter and probably always in the way to cleaning everything off the dirty tables (except for the empty beer bottles because I was too young to touch them), then wanting to help out in every part of the store to being a teenager that never wanted to be there. In high school I let mom know that it wasn’t fair that I had to work every Saturday when my friends were out having fun and that when I was old enough I didn’t want to have anything to do with the place. Still, my fondest memories growing up seem to involve Bumdoodler’s. COMMUNITY: I think the community not only enjoys the made from scratch soups, pies, bread etc… But also the small town, hole in the wall feel of the place. I think they also like the familiar faces of some of the long time employees. For example, manager Theresa has been working there well over 20 years, assistant manager Jamie over 15 years, and many others who have been working in Bum’s kitchen for multiple years. Most people will tell you that if you go into Bumdoodler’s often enough you will eventually be treated like part of the family. I also know that customers like the fact that, for the most part, the old building has remained the same.

CHANGES: Some change is inevitable due to government regulations, higher cost, and improved technology. But for the most part the place is basically the same. We have added a few great menu items such as baked potatoes and tomato basil soup. FUTURE: Right now we have no major changes planned for the future, and do not have plans to open any more locations at this time. Our 3 sons, Wesley, Thomas, and Alex sometimes argue over which one will take over the stores one day. FAVORITE THING: My favorite things about having the restaurant are the relationships formed with employees and customers, and the feeling that comes when I am able to use the blessings God has given me to bless someone else. Whether it be by providing them with a job, making them a beautiful wedding cake, or simply putting a smile on their face with a delicious slice of cheesecake. LEAST FAVORITE: My least favorite things are the times when something goes wrong and a customer is unhappy or disappointed and of course taxes. BOERNE: What I would like to say to Boerne is Thank you for your business. Also thank you for telling your friends when you leave happy and for giving us a second chance when we make a mistake.

EXPLORE it! LIVE IT! The REAL Kendall County.


JANUARY 2014

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Baked from scratch daily $2.75/each or make it a dozen for $30! Great Valentine’s Day treats Open Mon-Sat 10a.m.-6p.m.

Baking the Sweetest Memories 128 W. Blanco Rd., Ste. 9 Boerne, TX 78006

Located adjacent to the main plaza, beside the Ye Kendall Inn

Find us on Facebook

www.facebook.com/sugarbellescakeshop

(830) 331-2523 Custom Cakes priced individually. Contact us to schedule a consultation for a quote.

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EXPLORE it! LIVE IT! The REAL Kendall County.


FANTASTIC® Services Offered: CUTS • TEXTURIZING TREATMENTS • COLOR

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The Phyllis Browning Co.

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JANUARY 2014

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SPIRITUAL

God And I Talk A Lot God and I talk a lot. That doesn’t mean that I always do as I’m supposed to, or that I even listen sometimes, but we are at least talking. And for me anyway, that’s important. I was sitting beside the lake not too long ago, and was lying on the dock in the dead of the night looking at the stars. And lemme tell ya, if you wanna feel real small and be reminded of the awesome power of God, do some stargazing. To even attempt to grasp the enormity of the heavens, and the power necessary to create them is mindboggling. So I’m lying there, completely lost in my mind’s meandering thoughts, when God talked to me. No, a booming voice didn’t reverberate from heaven causing me to shake like a leaf, but rather, a most calming and soothing Voice of God descended upon me. And so for the next 30 minutes or so, God and I had a little talk about my life. We took “inventory”, if you will. As I said, these discussions with God are important to me. I run around in this hectic world, just like all of you, and sometimes have a hard time finding the space in my life for much of anything. From kids’ activities, to social calls, to business…I am in a constant state of motion. And as I run through these mundane events, I can find myself drifting from God at times. I was driving past a church the other day and had to smile at the billboard out front: “If you don’t feel close to God, guess who moved.” I love those billboards. Where do churches find all these pearls of wisdom anyway? Cause they ARE wise, ya know? And so that’s what God and I talked about. He sat me down and in the way that only God the Father can do, He told me that I’ve been a little distant lately, and He was none too happy about it. I’ve got lots of excuses. I’m busy, there hasn’t been any time for prayer and church, I haven’t felt well the past few weekends, it’s raining, the grass needs mowing, etc…I’ve got excuses to fill a book. And you can probably imagine how God feels about excuses. So God and I talked about some of the issues that have created a “distance” between us and what to do about them. And as we talked, I thought of the parable in Luke about the shepherd and the lost sheep: “Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Does he not leave

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By Kendall D. Aaron kendall@hillcountryexplore.com

the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulder and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.’ I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent.” Luke 15:4-7 And then I just felt even smaller than I did when contemplating the creation of the heavens. God, with the power to wave His hand and scatter an untold number of stars throughout my night sky, and with an entire planet’s worth of people with far worse problems than my own, has taken the time to worry Himself with me. He sees me as His lost sheep, and seeks to find me. So while God didn’t come down to my pier, dangle His toes in the water, and put His arm around me, in a way He did. To sit there, beneath His heavenly sky, and feel His presence, is beyond humbling. In the end, we had a good talk. I sometimes become distracted about what’s important in this life, and those pursuits are what get in my way on my own spiritual walk. I forget what the “goal” of this life is, and that it’s not about earthly possessions or desires. It’s about a desire to walk in the footsteps of God, and to live a life based on His teachings. It’s about praying to God, and finding the time to crawl up onto His lap and cry on His shoulder. It’s about knowing that the only thing to separate you from God is sin. So if you’re feeling distant from Him, it’s pretty easy to find the reason. I urge every one of you to take a minute today, or tonight, or whenever, to close your eyes and “talk” to God. You can do it in the car, or even when you get 5 quiet minutes at work. But find that relationship with God, which you may not have had in a while, and lay your problems at His feet. No matter how big your sins are, or how overwhelming your problems might seem, I would imagine that if you had the power to toss stars around the sky like a handful of sand as God can, your problems won’t seem too big. One final thought: God and I have one thing in common – we’re both fathers. And so as I read this verse about prayer and finding your relationship with God, it reminded me of something I’ve done for my kids countless times in their lives, and that’s to pick them up, kiss a boo-boo, and send them on their way again. So remember that your relationship with God is what will sustain you when life gives you “boo-boos” and makes you want to sit on the ground and cry. ”I waited patiently for the Lord to help me, and he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and the mire. He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along. He has given me a new song to sing, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see what he has done and be astounded. They will put their trust in the Lord.” Psalm 40:1-3

EXPLORE it! LIVE IT! The REAL Kendall County.


Facility available for special events Call for details Guitar Workshops • Artist Performances String instrument rentals for students

Premier Custom Home Builder in the Texas Hill Country

Specializing in fine instruments, accessories, and instruction Offering group or private lessons for all ages Guitar | Flute | Harp | Violin Piano | Mandolin | and More

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830-331-9840 Call today to reserve your lesson space

For over 40 years, KCN has been building beautiful custom homes of all sizes in Boerne, Comfort, Bandera, Castroville and throughout the Texas Hill Country. Our commitment to excellence is reflected not just in the quality of our products, but also in the superior level of customer service we provide during the building process. Our reputation for honesty and integrity, combined with our commitment to deliver excellent quality, expert craftsmanship, and customer service, has afforded us the opportunity to build many long lasting relationships with our clients. In fact, we are now working with our 29th repeat client.

830-816-5202 920 East Blanco Road Boerne, TX 78006 www.kcnbuilders.com

JANUARY 2014

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BOOT JACK BAR 6 BIG SCREENS O U T D O O R PAT I O S H U F F L E B OA R D P O O L TA B L E DA RT S

Happy New Year M O N D AY - S AT U R D AY 3 P M - 2 A M • S U N D AY 3 - 11 P M B O O K YO U R N E X T H A P P Y H O U R / G E T TO G E T H E R W I T H U S

210.861.0074

1 FM 3551, STE. 100 • BERGHEIM, TX | JUST SOUTH OF 46 & BEHIND THE VALERO


Mary Mellard, DDS

Randy Mellard, DDS, MS

• American Dental Association

• American Dental Association

• Texas Dental Association

• Texas Dental Association

• San Antonio Dental Society

• San Antonio Dental Society

• Academy of General Dentistry

• Academy of General Dentistry

The minute you walk through the doors at Mellard Dentistry, you will know you’ve come to the right place. Dr. Mary Mellard and Dr. Randy Mellard, a well-regarded husband-and-wife dental team, will help make you and your family more comfortable than you ever thought possible. Both doctors received their degrees from the University of Texas at Houston, and each year they continue to study advanced, postgraduate dentistry with some of the best-known clinicians in the country, In addition, Dr. Randy Mellard is a specialist in periodontology (gum therapy), and has advanced training in implant dentistry. But despite their clinical accolades, Dr. Mellard and Dr. Mellard do something all too rare in today’s rushed world... they listen, and get to know each patient one-on-one. So whether you’re looking for advanced cosmetic and restorative dentistry or simply a dentist to help maintain your family’s dental health, join us. We’ll give you something to smile about!

DENTISTRY for the WHOLE FAMILY

Dr. Mary Mellard and Dr. Randy Mellard have been married more than twenty years, and have four children. They are native Texans, and enjoy being active in our local community.

Important Awards:

Fellow Academy of General Dentistry - Dr. Mary & Dr. Randy Mellard Master Academy of General Dentistry - Dr. Mary Mellard

Comprehensive Dental Care

Cosmetic and Aesthetic Dentistry

• Great with children and adults • Professional dental cleanings • State-of-the-art equipment • Digital x-rays significantly reduce radiation • We make your comfort our priority • Periodontal specialist on staff

• Advanced training in cosmetic dentistry • Invisalign® “invisible” orthodontics • Galileos ® 3D Dental Imaging System • Implants to replace missing teeth

Lifelong Learning and Service Recognition Award - Dr. Mary Mellard (one of 10 dentists in the state) Twice nominated as Texas Dentist of the Year (2007 & 2009) - Dr. Mary Mellard

Services Offered:

Sedation Dentistry for fearful patients or long procedures All-on-Four Smile in a Day Same day crowns (Cerec) Implants Six Month Smiles Cosmetic makeovers Invisalign Non-surgical treatment for gum disease

CARE for the whole Children deserve a wonderful dental experience. We encourage parents to bring their children in for a visit any time after their first birthday. Your child will love it here!

Now Welcoming New Patients

(210) 782-8421

www.mellarddentistry.com

Creating the healthy beautiful smile of your dreams in a comfortable caring atmosphere


GARDENING

If you are like me, we are all five pounds heavier from the numerous apple and pecan pies we have consumed over the past thirty days; but hopefully we still have happy visions of sugar plums dancing in our heads. The next few weekends are usually spent napping on the sofa, lulled by sounds of our favorite football teams or the like. However, if you get the jones to do just a little gardening and work off some of the holiday seasons bounty, January can be the best time to add a fruiting tree to your landscape. “Why January? I thought ‘fall’ was the best time to plant trees?” Good questions; and the answers to both have to do with selection. The large commercial fruit tree growers out in California wait until their field grown trees have gone dormant before they are dug up and shipped to your better local nurseries and wholesale distributors. Here in Central Texas the trucks start to arrive in early January, loaded with bundles of barerooted young fruit trees. Apples, peaches, plums, pomegranates, pecans (noticing a trend here?) figs, grapes and blackberries just to name a few will be filling the nurseries soon. Not all nurseries bring in bare-rooted plants directly, but you will find that those who do usually offer a far better selection. When choosing what kind of fruiting tree to plant, start with the simplest criteria; plant what you like to eat! Match the size of the mature tree to the space you can allot (a Pecan tree takes four times the space of a Peach). Your soil type comes in to play as well (Pecans need deep river bottom soils to thrive; the rockier your soil the more preparation you may have to do). Choosing two different varieties of the same type of tree will help considerably – if not be outright essential –with pollination. Even those varieties listed as self-pollinating will benefit greatly from another variety being close by. Pecans are wind pollinated, so they are usually spaced close together, say 30’ apart, whereas stone-fruited crops such as nectarines and plums are insect pollinated and can be spaced much further apart. One person can have a ‘La Feliciana’ peach and their neighbor can have a ‘Rio Grande’; as long as the honeybees can see them, all will be good. “Chill Hours” are another fairly critical factor with choosing certain crops. This typically refers to the number of hours below 45 degrees f. to stimulate flowering; Apples, peaches, plums etc… Here in Boerne we average somewhere between 450 to 600 “chill hours” each winter; some years less, some more… Choose your varieties with this range

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in mind. Don’t buy a tree without knowing. Many of the fruit trees at the box/chain stores don’t offer this critical information. Almost everyone has a smart phone now, and one can ‘Google’ “Granny Smith Apple Chill Hours” and have the answer in seconds… Planting dormant trees at this time of year is often easier. Typically you only need to water once before the leaves emerge, then every ten days or so thereafter. Most folk error by digging their holes to deep, 8 to 10” will usually be plenty, and 18-24” wide and square rather than round is best. A product called ‘Actinovate’ should be offered by your nursery as well; a natural fungicide, that when applied at planting – dusted lightly in the hole, roots set direct with contact – may help prevent cotton root rot, fire blight and a few other nasty diseases; check the expiration date as it does have a limited shelf life. I consider this a necessity for Apples and Pears and a very good idea for anything else. Actinovate will run about $12-$15, and treat at least four 5 gallon size trees; for about $3.00 to treat a tree that we hope to live a long, long time… worth every penny. You may also find ‘Plant Thrive’ or Espoma’s ‘Bio-tone Starter Plus’ helpful, though not exactly the same. Your local nursery professional will be happy to give you more detailed care instructions. And I guess I should mention, YES, deer will eat them. All of them. To the ground. Caging is essential, although large figs are typically left alone. The good folks down at Fanick’s Garden Center in San Antonio offer a wealth of information at; www.fanicknursery.com/Downloads/FruitTreeCurrent.pdf All in all there are hundreds of varieties of fruiting trees, shrubs and vines that can thrive and prosper with normal ‘garden care’ here in the hill country. Adding one or more of these jewels greatly increases not only the value of your property but the wealth of our souls. “A tree is known by its fruit; a man by his deeds. A good dead is never lost; he who sows courtesy reaps friendship, and he whom plants kindness gathers love” –Saint Basil

EXPLORE it! LIVE IT! The REAL Kendall County.


Hill Country Real Estate & Property Management

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Wine

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EXPLORE it! LIVE IT! The REAL Kendall County.


How I Want to Continue My

Love Affair With Wine

I can’t believe that another year has flown by. It seems just the other day it was trying to mow the grass without incurring heat stroke. Then it was Halloween, which means Wal-Mart already has their Christmas trees out. Then it was really was the Holidays. Now, here we are with 2014 starting to tick off the days. And it seemed a golden opportunity to suggest some New Year’s resolutions, especially when it comes to the world of wine. I wanted to start with a repeat of one of my 2013 resolutions…drink more Texas wines. I’ve mentioned the 290 Texas wine trail several times and still recommend it, especially to the novices, also in terms of saving you the trip to the California wine country. Kathy and I had a chance to revisit recently, and it was even better than I remembered from earlier trips. A year ago, I mentioned 20+ wineries to visit, and now the number is approaching 40+ wineries. Two that stood out that day were 4.0 Cellars and Grape Creek…great folks and very knowledgeable, that were pouring fabulous wines. The problem is a familiar one in the wine world…so many great wines…so little time. I guess we need to schedule another roadtrip when the weather starts to cooperate and this time leave enough space on the itinerary to visit the Garrison Brothers Distillery in Hye to sample some fine Texas sippin’ whiskey. Another excellent resource to keep abreast of the rapid changes in the Texas wine industry is the wine blog entitled Texas Wine Lover, written by Jeff Cope (www.txwinelover.com). I’ve followed Jeff’s postings for several years, as he visited probably over 200+ wineries. I finally had the pleasure of meeting him in person, as he was kind enough to make time and visit us at The Boerne Wine Company to write a short review (Thank you Jeff for the kind words!). Please make a point to sign-up for his blog. And to exercise your new E-reader from Xmas, look for Red, White, and Drunk all over by Natalie MacLean. I started this book a few weeks ago, and thoroughly enjoyed the journey. This is a very easy read, just under 300 pages, and Natalie writes about the discovery of wine the way I wish I could…she is a very gifted writer. The best news is that in addition to her website (www.nataliemaclean.com), she offers a free e-newsletter under the Nat Decants tab. Another great resource to sign-up for. For those who prefer the older style of reading, there always seems to be more than a few wine books at Barnes and Noble, Amazon, etc. but the best selection seems to be at Half-price books. Wine for Dummies has a permanent place on my book shelf. It always help remind me that I know just a little about the subject…keeps my feet on the ground and humble. Beware those “wine experts” that purport to know everything about wine, and keep an eye on your wallet…nuff said. I received a lot of positive feedback on forming a tasting group with your wine loving friends…sorta your own home BTG program. The basic outline for this type of program is pretty simple…get your wine friends together, establish a theme (new versus old world, all cabernets, by region, by country, etc.), decide how often to meet(monthly seems to work the best), establish a budget, work up a rotation schedule for which homes will be utilized, and everyone brings an appetizer. The hosts provide the venue, glassware, and a tasting sheet to keep notes and scores if desired .What a great way to enjoy like-minded family and friend’s company, and taste some great wines that you might not even have seen or read about. Here is your basic calculation formula…the average wine bottle contains approximately 25 ounces, which helps the group figure out the pouring size for each glass. 12 couples would each be able to enjoy a 1 ounce taste from each bottle. 1 bottle per couple would give you the opportunity to taste 12 different wines. And please remember moderation is a year-round rule…12 ounces is roughly 2.5 glasses. Have plenty of water, and other beverages to prevent over indulging. Themes are where the group can have the most fun. Since wine is really all about the

JANUARY 2014

By Tom Geoghegan tgeoghegan@boernewineco.com

art of discovery, tasting groups offer you that opportunity to explore new regions, appellations and varietals. It’s really fun to literally go around the world, tasting wine. For new groups, I recommend starting with a limited budget, as you and the other members test the waters (or wines), learn your likes, and dislikes. At the end of the first year, it was fun to do a sparkling session as the Holiday season finishes up. And as the group progresses, and tastes mature, it’s fun to increase the budget incrementally...just don’t make the group too unaffordable. Our good friend “Goggle” is a great resource for pulling up some basic information on the wines and region you selected, maybe even throw in a little history, and then close with some tasting notes. Each couple should make this short presentation to help the others get acclimated to each wine. Having done the “group” thing for many years, I’ll be happy to suggest themes for any groups interested, or even conducting the first one in your home (time permitting and the good Lord willing) The same goes for locating special wines for the group, one that you’ll probably not find at your local grocery store or liquor store. Just drop me a quick email, and I’ll be happy to help…all I need is your price range, country of origin, style, etc. I’ll say it again from last year…drink more Champagne! We covered styles and price points just this past month, but it’s easy to use these points year round. When you find your favorite style and pricepoint, you’ve created your own “affordable” luxury to enjoy year round. Nothing makes an occasion more special than a glass of sparkling. And don’t forget the stopper to extend the life of the bottle after you open it. My wine journal. I think most of us would be challenged to remember that great bottle of wine we had just the other day, unless we have a reference point. Most of us shop visually, so keeping track of our favorite labels is important. The method Kathy and I have developed over the years seems to still work pretty well. After that special meal, we breakdown the kitchen, soak the items that need to soak overnite in the pot sink, separate the glassware to do the following day, load the dishwasher, prep the coffee maker, and lastly load the empty wine bottles in the sink to also soak overnite. First one up the next morning starts the coffee, takes the label floating on the top of the sink, and plugs it into our old loose leaf binder, taking the time to plug in the basic information (vineyard, varietal, price point, food paired, people paired, and our personal tasting notes).Now months later, while we’re trying to remember that “chewy” Zin we had with John and Sheema, all we have to do is leaf thru our binder till we find the right label, and there we have it…no more guesswork. Another idea I’ve seen in the shop is using your phone to take a picture of the label…very easy to do at your favorite wine bar or restaurant. If it’s something outside the mainstream, try to get a picture of the back label also. This usually has more information that can be helpful in tracking down your favorite wine. Working outside our comfort zone for style and pricepoint. This is probably one of the easiest after you take that initial first step. Red instead of white, and vice versa. Trying an import to go with that new recipe instead of a domestic. A sparkling wine with that first course. Maybe one of those new (or old) Texas wines you discovered on the Wine trial. Lastly, the most fun is trying wines in that $15 to $30 price point. What a fun way to discover your new house red and white. The possibilities are almost unlimited. And so as we usher in 2014, one journey ends, and another begins. A new year, a fresh start, a chance to renew promises…almost like a vintage year. A year that is ripe with promise and potential…a clean slate. And thru the year there are so many things that will make us happy…the laughter of children, the smile of a spouse, and a wagging tail from man’s best friend as we come in the door. Again, may I humbly suggest a glass of wine to make it a special day. My final resolution is to be a man rich in family and friends. I raise my glass to your continued health and happiness…Salute!

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SPORTS MEDICINE

FAMILY MEDICINE

Charles McCurley, MD Board Certified Family Medicine Board Certified Sports Medicine

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Advanced arthritis treatment Muscle and joint pain Sports injuries for all ages Ultrasound guided treatments/injections In-office x-ray Sports physicals Broken bones/fracture care

Primary care for all ages Acute care/ Urgent care Newborn care Pediatric care/ Well Child exams Well woman exams Contraceptive management Adult medicine

Botox Chemical peels Cosmetic filler treatments

Wendy McCurley, MD Board Certified Family Medicine

SAME DAY APPOINTMENTS 136 Old San Antonio Rd, Suite 406 • Boerne, TX 78006 • www.sfmboerne.com • 830.816.5800

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Boerne, TX 78006

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p. (830) 816-5888 f. (830) 816-5889

EXPLORE it! LIVE IT! The REAL Kendall County.


Chris Taylor, a Boerne High School graduate with a long family history in Kendall County, has the educational background, community engagement, and work experience to be Taylor Made for the position of Kendall County Judge.  Chris is a graduate of St. Mary’s University with a B.A. in Organizational Administration and a graduate of LeTourneau University with a Masters of Business Administration.  His community experience includes his current service as a commissioner on the City of Boerne’s Zoning Board of Adjustments and past service on the City of Boerne’s Historic Landmark Commission. Taylor is also a Certified Firefighter, Level 2 Firefighter Instructor, and trained in swift water rescue. He has also served as an EMT and Treasurer for Kendall County EMS Association.  Taylor is currently employed with Hewlett-Packard,one of the world’s largest computer companies with 330,000 employees, as an Engineering/Operations Manager. In his role as Operations Manager, Taylor has helped HP save over $42 million dollars in the last two years without cutting any jobs. He has also reduced hardware and software expenses by $6.6 million per year and reduced packaging expenses by $1.8 million per year. Taylor is also trained in fraud detection and investigation and has worked as a global procurement manager.  His other accomplishments include a U.S. Patent for a computer system with an external air mover, an Inventor Award from HP, an Environmental Advisory Council Award for the development of a recycling program and numerous other awards and certifications, including Microsoft Windows certification.  Chris is married to Holly, his wife of twenty-five years, whom he met at Boerne Elementary School in fourth grade. They have three daughters; Kendall, Brittany, and Jordan. Holly’s great grandfather was former Kendall County Sheriff Sidney Edge, who died in the line of duty in 1948. The Taylors are members of First United Methodist Church.  Taylor desires to create a more efficient county government by reviewing procurement policies, developing a long-range plan and budget, updating technology, and building collaboration between local governmental entities for the purpose of leveraging buying power. He also wants to increase citizen engagement by enticing and rewarding citizen participation in county government. Taylor also believes it is important to promote desired economic development for future generations while protecting our natural resources. Through the process of creating greater efficiencies and promoting economic development, Taylor believes he can prevent future tax rate increases. 


As a Master in the Academy of General Dentistry, Dr. Chet Hawkins posses the highest level of education recognized for a dentist. As a graduate of the Pankey Institute, he’s had the finest post-doctoral training in the world. “I want to establish a master plan and then develop a blueprint for my patients’ long-term care,” he explains. “We want to solve the causes of the problems before we do anything else to their teeth. Then we can rebuild or repair with confidence that the fix will last as long as possible. We also educate our patients about other health issues related to oral disease. There is a connection between periodontal disease and heart disease that people need to know about.” Dr. Hawkins and his wife, Deby, have been residents of Boerne for 7 years and are excited to be joining the practice in Boerne.

I just went to see Dr. Hawkins yesterday for an exam and cleaning. I was promptly seen, the procedures were done painlessly and in a timely manner with the latest equipment. My necessary dental work was explained fully to me. Everyone in the office greeted me warmly and made me feel special. - Elaine K. The moment you enter the office you are greeted by Kim’s warm smile and friendly personality. The hygienists are professional and make you feel very at ease. Dr. Hawkins is very calm and soft spoken with a gentle touch. The office runs very smoothly and on time for appointments. - Charlotte S. Pleasant, friendly staff. No wait. Dr. Hawkins listens to your issues and then provides clear solutions. Great dentist. Also, great hygienist. Overall, great experience. - Cindy H.

30 YEARS EXPERIENCE Boerne’s ONLY Master Dentist The Dental Wellness Center • 806 N. Main St. • Boerne • 830-249-7870 • www.drchethawkins.com


We care for seniors in their home... INDEPENDANT LIVING COTTAGES AMENITIES: • One or two bedrooms, kitchen, living room, bathroom, laundry room & screened in portch overlooking beautiful woodland grounds and pond • 3 Meals a day delivered to cottage • Housekeeping and laundry service • Medication reminders • Activities, socialization and entertainment • Senior Buddies personal assistance available as needed. • Pets Allowed

ASSISTED LIVING AMENITIES: • Private and Semi private rooms and suites • Assistance with bathing, dressing & grooming • Medication assistance and healthcare management • Assistance with ambulation to meals and activities • Excellent home cooked meals and special diets • Activities, exercise and entertainment • 24 hour staff • Housekeeping and laundry service • Beauty and barber shop services • Senior Buddies personal assistance service is available for one on one care. • Walking paths in a beautiful woodland setting

...where their heart is SENIOR BUDDIES was founded to provide a loving, caring way to assist the elderly and their families. We specialize in enhancing the lives of seniors limited by Alzheimer’s disease, dementia and strokes. We also provide respite care, surgery recovery and service for other seniorrelated needs.

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Each year we here at EXPLORE we like to publish a collection of predictions for the coming year, prepared by one of our favorite writers. This year Old Timer got the nod to take his crack at what he thinks is in store for the community this coming year. Hold on to your hats.


JANUARY

A squirrel is run over on River Road, while saving up nuts for his little squirrel family. The “Arts” community melts down, and erects a 17 foot long statue to honor the squashed rodent. Nicknamed “Nutty”, the rest of the State shakes its head in collective embarrassment. Absolutely nothing completed on 2013’s never-ending “Stupid Bridge Project”. Riverside posts record sales via the lunch crowd that ventures over for BBQ between stints of doing absolutely nothing. McDonald’s builds full-sized free-standing store in front of the local movie theatre. Old-timers scream about a franchise moving to town. They are not heard over the throng of 11,000 people that show up for a Big Mac on opening night.

FEBRUARY

“Anti-Growth” crowd holds massive rally at Town Square against new franchises moving to town. Pitchforks and torches are seen. Accidentally burn down gazebo. They blame Arby’s. Upcoming election for vacant Judge’s seat turns nasty. Ends with gun duel on Main Street. Chris Taylor wins. Lux dodges the bullet, but killed a duck with an errant shot. Taylor wins by default. While nobody was watching, the new owners of the Old Library building open their newest concept in the building: an antique store. Locals groan, visitors rejoice. Anti-growth crowd blames Starbucks.

MARCH

Struggling Chamber of Commerce unveils their newest website designed to drive traffic: www.boerne.xxx Snow falls during Spring Break. None of the snow actually sticks to the ground, but somehow, 39 people die in traffic accidents. Ruth Chris plans steakhouse in front of Hampton Inn. At the last minute, they change plans and open an Appleby’s. The line stretches over I-10 and into the HEB parking lot on opening night. “Anti-Growth” crowd seen readying nooses.

APRIL

Makeshift courthouse erected at the end of Johns Road access road. A well known speedtrap, offenders can be ticketed, and pay their fine without getting out of the car. Mayor proclaims it’s all in the interest of “safety”. Long rumored tunnels discovered under the Old Library. Inside the tunnels, my missing mail is found. The Boerne Greyhounds play the Boerne Champion football team for a spring scrimmage game. 25,000 people attend.

MAY

Local man goes crazy and drives his backhoe to the never-ending bridge project and runs through the barricades. Mayor thanks him for speeding up the progress. 7th death recorded at Main Street crosswalk: a large woman carrying 13 bags of recent purchases was hit by a Dodge Dually. Fair Oaks Ranch Elementary school burns down over a weekend. Newly installed solar panels found the culprit

JUNE

An armadillo is run over on River Road in his cute little search for water. Arts crowd jumps the shark, builds shrine to armadillo and renames entire River Trail District as “‘Dillo District.” Bridge project is completed. Nobody can tell the difference. Riverside BBQ goes broke. Mayor has photoop on the bridge, and declares entire project overwhelming success. Ignores the fact that it’s a year late and millions over budget. Ye Kendall Inn opens yet another restaurant concept in their lobby: Hooters. Finally, they find success.


JULY

The Post Office is hit by lightning and burns to the ground. Mail delivery throughout town improves 105%. July 4 parade is an overwhelming success. Rick Perry is Grand Marshall. River accidentally drained….again. Mud-bog races held before refilling it.

AUGUST

Local man wins 13.6 million dollar lottery. Erects 11 statues on River Road of road kill. Arts community rejoices. Under perpetual ridicule, City hires crossing guards to man the crosswalks on Main Street. 3rd high school planned for Boerne – the Boerne Fightin’ Ducks.

SEPTEMBER

Oil found at Tapatio Springs. George Strait called Most Brilliant Guitar Strummer on Earth. Anti-Growth crowd readies torches. Esperanza begins construction. City holds moment of silence. Ducks mysteriously vanish from entire “‘Dillo District” area. Arby’s opens on north end. Anti-Growth crowd protests. Traffic backed up for miles in both directions. Schlotzky’s execs spotted taking notes.

OCTOBER

An alligator is spotted at Boerne Lake. Residents take to the water on their canoes, armed with rifles. Local man bags the gator. Arts crowd erects statue at entrance to Boerne Lake of waving, smiling alligator. After 11th death, City tears up the crosswalks, creates new tourism campaign: “Shop in Boerne. It’s like Frogger.” Scandal rocks city council. Someone forgot the Mayor’s birthday and didn’t bring the cake nor balloons. 3 resignations occur.

NOVEMBER

Confused Chamber of Commerce comes clean and creates new campaign: “We Really Just Need Your Money.” Offices are eventually closed; Schlotzky’s opens in their location. City inspectors found taking bribes from local businesses to circumvent the City’s sign laws. The City responds by simply adding a new rule to the Sign Handbook: “You cannot bribe our inspectors.” Post Office is rebuilt and re-opened. Entire city groans. 45% local mail delivery returns. Curiously, the sign above the building still says “Boerne PO T Office”.

DECEMBER

Dickens on Main changes names and will now be called “Haben eine sehr frohe Weihnachten.” Baptists protest, claiming foul language. Local Economic Development Corporation shutters. Anti-Growth crowd holds block party. CENTEX homes execs hold candlelight vigil. Red Lobster execs seen leaning against a tree, watching closely. I finally snap and start ramming cars up and down Main Street while shouting “Get out of my damn town!” I’m eventually taken down in a hail of bullets, but not before I shake my fist at the stupid statues on River Road. No, this probably won’t really happen, but it’s what I predict will happen every year. I figure I’ll keep predicting it and one day it finally will come to be. Stupid statues.


ANOTHER DAY AT THE OFFICE

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JANUARY 2014

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EXPLORE January 2014