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CONTENTS M AY 2 0 1 8

COVER STORIES 43 Beauty Awards: 150 products tried and tested by us for you 62 How to save $1000 this month 84

Blake: ‘My family is my first priority’

96

Secrets from a flight attendant

106 Cosmo report: Crime on campus. ‘I tried to say no’ 124 Slippery when wet: Shower sex (minus the paramedics) 126

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Maybe, kinda, sorta... Are you in an almost-relationship?

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S

contents

THIS MONTH 06 From the editor 144 Horoscopes 146 15 minutes with Jessica Mauboy

THE BUZZ

OPPOSITE PAGE: STYLING BY DENIS TODOROVIC. PHOTOGRAPHY BY PAUL SUESSE/BAUER. HAIR AND MAKE-UP BY GEORGIA HULL AT RELOAD AGENCY. MODEL: CHEY CARTY – VIVIEN’S MODELS. JACKET: NEUW DENIM, $699.95 (NEUWDENIM.COM). KNIT: SEED, $99.95 (SEEDHERITAGE.COM). SKIRT: SASS & BIDE, $390 (SASSANDBIDE.COM). SHOES: SEED, $69.95 (SEEDHERITAGE.COM). EARRINGS: ALEXANDRA BLAK, $69 (ALEXANDRABLAK.BIGCARTEL.COM). BAG: MARC JACOBS AT SHOPBOP, $376.10 (SHOPBOP.COM). COVER IMAGE: GETTY CONTOUR

10 14 16 17 18 19 20

Need to know Confessions Cosmo guy Expectations vs. reality Insta fashion On my mind Bachelor of the Year wrap-up

STYLE 25 Wine o’clock 28 Block Party 32 Our hero bags 34 Knitty gritty 110 Hello, petal

BEAUTY 54 Beauty Q&A 56 What I wish I’d known

WORK & MONEY 59 Uh-oh, that did not go well! 64 How I got here: BOYBYHER The Label

126

SEX & RELATIONSHIPS BODY 67 Don’t hate morning people – be one! 71 The right way to eat your feelings 74 What contraception is right for you? 78 Around the world in 28 periods 80 The Insta-elite

128 Bachelor in Paradise special: Ask Davey and Apollo anything 132 Manthropology 134 Sex Q&A

TRAVEL 137 The best of the West 143 (Re) discover Melbourne

FEATURES 90 ‘How I get through Mother’s Day without mum’ 92 ‘I did a digital detox... and I hated it’

‘I felt diarrhoea coming on’

100 Desperately seeking a squad

W O R S T D AT E S E V E R ( 1 2 )

GET THE LOOK Bourjois Brow Design Brow Mascara in Clear, $15. Ardell DuraLash Individual Flare Lashes in Medium Black, $10.99. Maybelline The Blushed Nudes Shadow Palette, $25.95. Models Prefer Moisture Lust Lip Tint Shine in Honey Buzz, $7.99.

PRIVACY NOTICE This issue of Cosmo is published by Bauer Media Pty Limited (Bauer). Bauer may use and disclose your information in accordance with our Privacy Policy, including to provide you with your requested products or services and to keep you informed of other Bauer publications, products, services and events. Our Privacy Policy is located at bauer-media.com.au/privacy/. It also sets out how you can access or correct your personal information and lodge a complaint. Bauer may disclose your personal information offshore to its owners, joint venture partners, service providers and agents located throughout the world, including in New Zealand, USA, the Philippines and the European Union. In addition, this issue may contain Reader Offers, being offers, competitions or surveys. Reader Offers may require you to provide personal information to enter or to take part. Personal information collected for Reader Offers may be disclosed by us to service providers assisting Bauer in the conduct of the Reader Offer and to other organis ations providing special prizes or offers that are part of the Reader Offer. An opt-out choice is provided with a Reader Offer. Unless you exercise that opt-out choice, personal information collected for Reader Offers may also be disclosed by us to other organisations for use by them to inform you about other products, services or events or to give to other organisations that may use this information for this purpose. If you require further information, please contact Bauer’s Privacy Officer by email at privacyofficer@bauer-media. com.au or mail at Privacy Officer Bauer Media Pty Ltd, 54 Park St, Sydney NSW 2000. PUBLISHED BY BAUER MEDIA PTY LTD ABN 18 053 273 546,OF 54 PARK ST, SYDNEY, NSW 2000, BY PERMISSION OF HEARST COMMUNICATIONS INC, NY 10019, USA © COPYRIGHT 2018 BAUER MEDIA. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. COVER AND TEXT PRINTED BY PMP MOOREBANK 31-37 HEATHCOTE ROAD, MOOREBANK NSW 2170.

COSMOPOLITAN MAY 2018

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but first… OUR CONTESTANTS STRUTTED THEIR STUFF. OUR AMAZING JUDGING PANEL.

BOYS’ NIGHT OUT We partied well into the night at our annual Bachelor of the Year event, and there were plenty of great beats, babes and beverages to give all the good feels. We had men from all walks of life that were nominated on Tinder: a fire-fighter, a doctor and a coal miner just to name a few. We’re so excited for Kevin Kim, who took out the coveted title! Feel like you were there on P8. Thank YOU for the thousands of votes you all submitted, and a big thanks to Tinder who made the night possible, Novo shoes, Maybelline New York, Contiki and 13CABS.

LIGHTS, CAMERA, ACTION!

welcome! Since Cosmopolitan launched in the ’70s, its pages have been dedicated to empowering women in all areas of their lives – we’re about having great sex, a successful career and loving the skin you’re in. At Cosmo, we champion inclusivity. We include a wide variety of models from a diverse range of cultural backgrounds and a great range of sizes. This month, Cosmo travelled around the country on our Cosmo Curve search. More than a beautiful face, we’re looking for the total package – a total Cosmo girl who is unashamedly bold and proud of the skin she’s in. And BOY did you show up! We met so many beautiful, body-confident, fearless girls – in Melbourne, Brisbane,

Sydney, Adelaide and Perth. You moved us with your stories of learning to love yourselves and you inspired us to continue to fly the flag. We’re so proud to be a driving force in the body-confident movement, along with our COSMO COVER GIRL wonderful partners Taking ROBYN LAWLEY. Shape, Myer and Bella Model Management. We also had the pleasure of Robyn Lawley WINNERS coming on the road with us. Check out the Thanks to all of you who next issue to see our finalists! came out, and keep your eyes peeled for our finalist shoot in next month’s Cosmo – where you’ll have the opportunity CONFIDENCE: FRONT ROW to vote for your Cosmo AND CENTRE. Curve winner. Hope you love the issue,

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Love to hear your thoughts. Get me on Instagram @keshnee or email Cosmopolitan@bauer-media.com.au

MODEL STEFANIA FERRARIO AND COSMO EDITOR KESHNEE KEMP.

GETTY IMAGES

FANCY FEET A special shout out to Novo who had team Cosmo well-heeled at the Bachelor of the Year.


Editor

KESHNEE KEMP CREATIVE DIRECTOR Leisa Demerdash FEATURES FEATURES DIRECTOR Shari Nementzik NEWS & ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR Morgan Reardon CHIEF SUBEDITOR Sarah Iasiello EDITORIAL & PRODUCTION COORDINATOR Joshua Joynes (02 9282 8039) ART DEPUTY ART DIRECTOR Hannah Lidbury BEAUTY & LIFESTYLE BEAUTY & LIFESTYLE DIRECTOR Alexis Teasdale BEAUTY & LIFESTYLE EDITOR Cassidy Loane FASHION FASHION DIRECTOR Charlotta Backlund MARKET EDITOR Cassandra Longworth STYLE EDITOR Denis Todorovic FASHION COORDINATOR Ana Zupanoska CONTRIBUTORS Anette Miate INTERNS Holly Anderson, Paisley Crosier, Marie-Eglantine Diet, Alice Bader, Sasha Killalea, Shubi Dumra, Zoe Bradbury, Madeline Hoffman, Veronica Costi, Elina Hyvola, Harriett McKendrick, Susannah Karlese, Daniella Bogojevic, Alexandra Hill, Jana De Castro, Daniel Rojas, Marissa Nino, Montanna Tripodi, CJ Taylor, Samantha Petrolo, Taylah Smith, Jessica Olson COSMOPOLITAN.COM.AU

MANAGING EDITOR Jenna Clarke NEWS & ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR Jessica Chandra NEWS & ENTERTAINMENT WRITER Katie Stow FASHION EDITOR Grace O’Neill FASHION WRITER Natasha Harding BEAUTY & LIFESTYLE EDITOR Erin Cook BEAUTY & LIFESTYLE WRITER Ana Eksouzian-Cavadas

ADVERTISING & PRODUCTION

BRAND MANAGER Nicole Corfe (02) 9282 8235 BRAND EXECUTIVE Emily Whelan (02) 8268 6293 GENERAL MANAGER – COMMERCIAL FINANCE Michelle Champ COMMERCIAL ANALYST Louisa Grech HEAD OF KEY ACCOUNTS NSW Karen Holmes (02) 9282 8733 DIRECT SALES NSW Stephanie Leon (02) 9282 8047 DIRECTOR OF SALES VIC, SA, WA Jaclyn Clements (03) 9823 6341 HEAD OF DIRECT SALES VIC Will Jamison (03) 9823 6301 HEAD OF SALES QLD Judy Taylor (07) 3101 6636 TITLE CONTROLLER Edwina Kerrigan ADVERTISING PRODUCTION CONTROLLER Dominic Roy SENIOR EVENT MANAGER Cate Gazal

BAUER MEDIA CHIEF EXECUTIVE OFFICER Paul Dykzeul GENERAL MANAGER, PUBLISHING Fiorella Di Santo CHIEF FINANCIAL OFFICER Andrew Stedwell COMMERCIAL DIRECTOR AUSTRALIA Paul Gardiner GENERAL MANAGER MEDIA SOLUTIONS Jane Waterhouse MARKETING DIRECTOR – FASHION, BEAUTY AND HEALTH Zenna Katsikaris ASSISTANT BRAND MANAGER Alicia Raiti GROUP SUBSCRIPTIONS MANAGER Sean McLintock SUBSCRIPTIONS CAMPAIGN MANAGER Lauren Flinn RESEARCH DIRECTOR Miriam Condon (02) 9282 8641 SYNDICATION DEPARTMENT (COMMERCIAL ENQUIRIES ONLY): syndication@bauer-media.com.au

HEARST MAGAZINES INTERNATIONAL SVP, Managing Director Asia Pacific & Russia Simon Horne Director of International Licensing & Business Development Richard Bean Senior Vice President/Editorial & Brand Director Kim St. Clair Bodden Deputy Brands Director Chloe O’Brien Fashion/Entertainment Director Kristen Ingersoll International Editions Editor Jacquelyn Galgey Editor-in-Chief, Cosmopolitan (1965-1997) Helen Gurley Brown Argentina Editor, Brazil Cristina Naumovs Editor, Britain Farrah Storr Bulgaria Chile Editor, China Yvonne Liu Editor, Croatia Aleksandra Orlić Editor, Czech Republic Sabrina Karasova Editor, Finland Stina Mantyniemi Editor, France Marie La Fonta Editor, Germany Anja Delastik Editor, Hong Kong Ruqiyah Law Kam Ying Editor, Hungary Johanna Sabján Editor, India Nandini Bhalla Editor, Indonesia Filisya Thunggawan Editor, Italy Francesca Delogu Kazakhstan Editor, Korea Hyun Joo Kim Editor, Latin America Lucía Sotelo Santos Latvia Editor, Lithuania Violeta Kalikauskiene Malaysia Editor, Middle East Kavita Srinivasan Mongolia Editor, Netherlands Anne Marije de Vries Lentsch Editor, Philippines Marla Miniano Editor, Poland Hanna Wolska Editor, Romania Diana Colcer Editor, Russia Aliona Peneva Editor, Serbia Nasja Veljkovic Editor, Slovenia Manca Čampa Pavlin Editor, South Africa Holly Meadows Editor, Spain Cecilia Muzquiz Herrero Editor, Sri Lanka Kinita Shenoy Editor, Turkey Ozlem Kotan Editor, Ukraine Oleksandra Burynska Editor, USA Michele Promaulayko


COSMO EDIT

the

BUZZ

GETTY IMAGES

The trends, moments and obsessions everyone will be talking about

COSMOPOLITAN MAY 2018

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VIRAL VERO

RUNNING FOR GOVERNOR? SUCH A MIRANDA THING TO DO!

Hailed as the new Instagram, Vero is one of the biggest trending apps this year! Its features remind us of Tumblr, where users can post pics, web links and recommendations – but it hasn’t come without controversy. The app’s CEO Ayman Hariri has been accused of failing to pay former employees and leaving workers stranded in cramped living quarters while previously running a Saudi construction company.

PRESIDENT NIXON!?

THE GOSS

Cynthia Nixon is the latest celebrity to break the internet! Known for her role as the career-driven Miranda Hobbes on Sex and the City, Nixon recently announced on Twitter that she’s set to run for governor of New York. But not everyone welcomed her foray into politics. Former New York City Council speaker Christine Quinn, has since branded her an ‘unqualified lesbian’. Nixon responded, ‘[Christine] was technically right. I don’t have my certificate from the Department of Lesbian Affairs. But in my defence, there is a lot of paperwork involved.’ Hey, if Trump can do it...

NEED to KNOW What to store in the brainbank for dinner party convo

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the buzz

SOUR HEART Author Jenny Zhang won over the Cosmo office and Lena Dunham with her novel Sour Heart – a collection of stories that explores the crazy experience of adolescence, through the eyes of Chinese-American girls growing up in New York City. Now, Zhang is embarking on a tour Down Under, and will be speaking at the Sydney Writers’ Festival, which runs from April 30 – May It doesn’t cost much to look like 6 2018. Grab tickets at full-time babe Emily Ratajkowski! Yep, Swf.org.au. the model recently married her boyfriendof-two-months Sebastian Bear-McClard in a $260 Zara pantsuit! And now that the fashion giant finally unveiled their online store Zara.com.au, you can copy Em’s style without even leaving the house! The store includes all your fave pieces, including Zara Mini and Zara Kids.

TAKE OUR MONEY!

NOT A GOOD MORNING

Sunrise recently suggested that Indigenous children should be taken from their families ‘just like the first Stolen Generation’ as a solution to the disadvantaged Indigenous youth. The comments resulted in a mass protest in Martin Place last month, forcing Sunrise to position a generic backdrop behind the presenters ‘to avoid any offensive signs being shown on national TV’. Yikes!

FINALLY – ZARA ONLINE IS HERE!

WORDS BY JOSHUA JOYNES. GETTY IMAGES, WEB, SUPPLIED

RYAN SECRETS Ryan Seacrest has been accused of subjecting his former E! News stylist Suzie Hardy to ‘unwanted sexual aggression’. However, an investigation by E! deemed the claims ‘completely baseless’. EM RATA’S PANTSUIT IS READY TO BUY.

PLEASE EXPLAIN! New Deputy PM Michael McCormack once penned a letter in a rural newspaper back in 1993, referring to the LGBTIQ community as ‘sordid’ and ‘unnatural’, and blamed homosexuals for the AIDS epidemic.

COSMOPOLITAN MAY 2018

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the buzz

Dates from hell When they’re this bad, all you can do is bail and laugh about it later! ‘I met up with a date at my local bar. I happened to be friends with the bartender there and told him that if I needed help, the code would be “I need a Manhattan.”

‘I went on a first date with a guy I met on an app. He seemed sweet – he was handsome and I loved his accent! He ‘I ate a lot of guac and then had drinks with a man I’d been seeing for a while. There was no bathroom at the bar. I felt diarrhoea coming on and had to run through town to find one. I was stuck at a coffee shop for three hours. It was one of the worst days ever. Haven’t heard from the guy since.’ – MARIE, 21

– DESTINY, 23

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‘I went out with someone I’d met on Halloween. After dinner, we went back to his place. I had been warned… but was still not prepared for the nude portrait of himself. It was of him holding a Buddha statue over his dick!’ – SAVANNAH, 22

‘I went out with this dude and we got deep about my ex’s depression. We split the cheque, which was okay until the next date. We split it again, and he took all the leftovers. What’s more, when I declined the next date, he said he was depressed and I should help him. I blocked him and we never spoke again.’ – MELANIE, 32

– VICTORIA, 27

GETTY IMAGES, STOCKSY

was a talker but I am too, so I thought, “Whatever, he’s just passionate.” Later on, he surprised me and brought me down a scenic road – romantic, right? Well, we got out of his car, and he looked me in the eyes, dropped to one knee, and told me he’d fallen in love with me the minute we’d met and asked if I would marry him! I was laughing and crying, and then I asked him to take me home. I didn’t know if I should be creeped out or flattered.’

The date was terrible. He kept asking why my parents just had two kids and not more after me and my brother. I ordered a Manhattan, the bartender quickly acted like I had an emergency at home, and I left. Later, I went back to the bar with a friend, thinking the guy would be gone. But he was still there! Busted!’


N AT U R A L A U S T R A L I A N S K I N C A R E


confessions COSMO READERS REVEAL THEIR MOST EMBARRASSING, RIDICULOUS, WHAT-WASI-THINKING MOMENTS

1 ‘I have a dodgy

knee that pops out at the most annoying times. The worst time was when I was on a date with my new boyfriend. We went back to his house and we were playing on his trampoline. It popped out and I was taken away in an ambulance. Probably not how he hoped the date would end.’ – POPPY, 19 14 COSMOPOLITAN MAY 2018


the buzz

2

‘I went to boarding school, and we snuck into the boys’ dorm for a party. We were drinking on the balcony. Suddenly, the teacher on duty knocked, entered, and caught everyone in the room drinking, which can get you kicked out of school. It was, like, three weeks until graduation. I freaked and climbed over the roof, through the bathroom window on the other side of the hall, and slept in another boy’s room. No one got kicked out, and I even won Student of the Year at graduation!’ – ELIZABETH, 30

3 ‘I had just started seeing

someone. He told me he gets super grossed out easily and was saying how he hates when people spit while talking. I was laughing, and I spit… right into his mouth. He was disgusted, and we never spoke again.’ – DANIELLE, 24

CONFESSIONS MAY HAVE BEEN EDITED FOR LENGTH, CONTENT OR CLARITY

4 ‘MY FRIEND AND I

WERE BEING WEIRD. HER FAKE LASHES KEPT COMING OFF, AND SHE PUT THEM IN MY NOSE, NATURALLY. LATER, I WAS TALKING TO A GUY, AND HE SAID I HAD SOMETHING IN MY NOSE. I’D NEVER TAKEN THE LASHES OUT! I POINTED TO MY FRIEND AND SAID, “OH, THOSE ARE HER EYELASHES!” HE RAN AWAY.’ – NIKKI, 24

BUSTED!

5 ‘I went on a date with a guy who I’d thought was annoying at first, but after some texting, I gave him a chance. He picked me up, and when we were getting out of the car, he couldn’t find his phone. He asked if I could call it. The thing was, I didn’t save his number under a name because I didn’t think I’d see him again. He was scrolling through my contacts to find himself and I was trying to explain! He thought I was the biggest douche ever.’

7

– MITRA, 24

6 ‘I was fooling around with a guy who said he never wanted to get married and doesn’t get why girls are so obsessed with weddings, and I agreed. We started making out, and when my pants came off, I was wearing a pair of underwear that had “Bridesmaid” in rhinestones on it! They were a gift from my sister-in-law... He looked at them and got super awkward. I wanted to explain myself but no words came out, so I got up and left!’ – RACHEL, 25

We know you have confessions to share… email the dirty details to Cosmoconfessions@bauer-media.com.au.

8

‘One day I did a presentation at university. The PowerPoint screen was all ready to go. Before I started, my lecturer and I had a briefing outside the lecture theatre. Unbeknownst to me, my laptop was showing and exporting my selfies, party and holiday pics. When we came back inside, I saw everyone watching all my photos. It was a nightmare.’ – CHRISTINE, 29 COSMOPOLITAN MAY 2018

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BECKS PROBABLY LOOKS THIS GOOD SANS ANY MORNING ROUTINE...

THE COSMO GUY DAVID BECKHAM

The soccer star is cementing his status as a male beauty icon with the launch of his men’s grooming line, House 99 HAIRSPO + SKINSPO ‘Grooming is not only about how you look, but how you feel. It’s about trying new things and shaping your next look. I created House 99 to give people the inspiration and the right products to try out something different.’

THE BRAND-NAME GAME ‘1999 was a critical year for me. A lot changed! I got married, Manchester United won three major championships, and my son, Brooklyn, was born.’

GLAM MAN ‘I start with a shower, then I use a cleanser, moisturiser and eye balm. My grooming routine takes less than 10 minutes – a bit quicker than my wife’s!’

STYLE #GOALS

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GETTY IMAGES

‘I like to switch things up, and that experimental spirit has become a part of my daily life. I question some of my past style choices, but I have no regrets – they shaped me. When I go to the barber now, they expect me to ask for a new look.’


the buzz

Expectation vs. Reality Please tell us we’re not the only ones who have this happen to us? DRINKS FOR TWO

PARTY TIME!

DRINKING FOR TWO HE’S DROOLING

TRAVEL BUDDIES

FRIENDS FOR LIFE

WE’RE DROOLING

BED BUDDIES

TOYBOYS

DIMITRIS LEGAKIS/SPLASH NEWS. GETTY IMAGES

COULD USE A HAND

WINTER’S COMING

HELPING HAND

COSMOPOLITAN MAY 2018

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@VALEREJEWELLERY

@LOTTAMAYBELAKE

the buzz

VALÉRE, $180 (valere.com.au)

@NADIAFAIRFAX

INSTA TREND

THE ART OF ADORNMENT ALEXANDRA BLAK,

$110 (alexandra blak.bigcartel.com)

Turn heads with some OTT eye candy – think solo danglers and sculptural shapes MERCEDES SALAZAR,

$220 (shopbop.com)

$169 (bianca mavrick.com)

@THESTYLESTALKERCOM

BIANCA MAVRICK JEWELLERY,

STYLIST’S TIP: ‘Wear your hair up to draw attention to your shoulder-grazing earrings, and your outfit is as good as made.’ – ANA, FASHION COORDINATOR 18 COSMOPOLITAN MAY 2018

STYLING BY ANA ZUPANOSKA. STILL-LIFE PHOTOGRAPHY BY CHRIS JANSEN/BAUER

RUBI, $12.95 (cottonon.com)


(C o s m o l e t s o u t a p a s s i o n a t e s o u n d - o f f )

There, I’ve said it

HOW CONFIDENT WOMEN ARE MADE, NOT BORN

RADZIWILL IS A BEST-SELLING AUTHOR AND A STAR ON THE RHONY.

WORDS BY CAROLE RADZIWILL. GETTY IMAGES

A funny thing happened on the way to the finish line. I went in search of selfesteem but instead found self-acceptance Last November, I ran the New York City Marathon – an admirable achievement for anyone, especially me, a woman who has happily and consistently side-stepped gyms, exercise, and sports bras. It wasn’t a bucket-list item or a lifelong dream. In fact, pounding pavement for a random number of kilometres ran counter-intuitive to everything I believed in. Namely, napping. Apart from the exercise avoidance, my life up to this point was a carefully targeted series of high-achieving goals. It started in early childhood when I earned all my Girl Scout badges in one year. It continued when, at age 14, I worked my way up from cash-register girl to the customer-service department – practically management – at a store in my hometown. This habit stuck through college, when I went to work for Peter Jennings, the top news anchor

at the time – never mind that I had no experience, no connections and only a vague idea of world events. I set high objectives and worked hard to reach them. Each time I accomplished something I set out to do, I felt that rewarding hit of self-esteem. And I’ve believed that the reserve I have amassed from all those hits has served me well in my current occupation as a cast member on The Real Housewives of New York, where an unforthcoming party invitation can send one into a spiral of self-doubt. It wasn’t until I crossed the marathon finish line at six hours, 42 minutes, and six seconds, that I began to question the very idea of self-esteem – or at least the eager way I went about pursuing it. Yes, I’m proud of my accomplishment, but I came to realise that pinning my

‘Setting micro goals is a saner path to selfsatisfaction’ self-worth on completing a run that a year ago I would have thought pointless was absurd. Self-esteem isn’t an emotion; it’s not a hormone we are born with or a chemical, like dopamine, that can be regulated with a pill. It’s a cognitive process that strains to access our selfworth. How much wiser would it be to strive for selfacceptance instead? Selfacceptance doesn’t feed off lofty achievements or

accolades to pump us up – it is simply the state of feeling content with who you are… or who you are slowly, thoughtfully evolving into. Admittedly, it’s hard to just passively accept yourself – well, at least for me. So I’ve learnt that setting micro goals and achieving them is a saner path to cultivating confidence and self-satisfaction. The small but meaningful triumphs we have each day – getting to the gym, remembering a friend’s birthday, not texting your ex – when no one is cheering us on are perhaps much more important to loving ourselves than those bigger and rarer wins. Even if you’re the only one clapping when you cross the finish line. # COSMOPOLITAN MAY 2018

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THE FELLAS LOOKING SCHMICK IN FERRARI FORMALWEAR.

BACHIE COUPLE MATTY J AND LAURA BYRNE.

PARTY ON! When Cosmopolitan and Tinder team up to find the most eligible man in Australia, you know it’s going to be one BIG party!

20 COSMOPOLITAN MAY 2018


boty wrap-up

(L-R) CAM CRANLEY, KEVIN KIM, LUKE CASEY AND NATHAN MCCALLUM.

NOW THAT’S A SELFIE!

KEVIN AND COSMO EDITOR KESHNEE.

FIREFIGHTER CAM ALL SUITED UP.

GLAM BY NIGEL, MAYBELLINE NEW YORK MAKEUP DIRECTOR. OLIVIA ROGERS LOOKING PRETTY IN PINK. TINDER HOOKED US UP WITH THESE DELISH COCKTAILS! FORMER MISS UNIVERSE AUSTRALIA TEGAN MARTIN.

GUESTS HAMMING IT UP IN THE MAYBELLINE PHOTO BOOTH.

COSMOPOLITAN MAY 2018

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boty wrap-up TANYA HENNESSY (R) BROUGHT ALL THE LOLS.

OUR TOP THREE: CAM, KEVIN AND ORPHEUS PLEDGER!

NOTHING LIKE A LITTLE PINK TO GET THE PARTY STARTED! TIME FOR A CHEEKY COCKTAIL... OR THREE!

BLOGGER AND NINJA WARRIOR NATHAN.

BACHIE BABES NICK CUMMINS, MATTY J AND DAVEY LLOYD.

THE THINKERGIRLS STACEY JUNE AND KRISTIE MERCER..

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CHRISTIAN WILKINS (R) AND FRIENDS.

CHRIS BARADEL, LUKE AND TIM ANSTEE.


section MINGLIN’ WITH THE BOYS.

THE GIRLS SERVE UP A TASTY TREAT.

PHOTOGRAPHY BY BELINDA ROLLAND

13CABS GET THE GUESTS HOME IN STYLE.

BACHIE BFFS JAKE ELLIS AND CAM.

EYES ON THE PRIZE – CONGRATS, KEVIN!

JOSH METZ, DIRECTOR OF MARKETING AT TINDER.

WITH SPECIAL THANKS TO:

COSMOPOLITAN MAY 2018

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the buzz AMBER SHERLOCK WITH CLARE.

TANYA HENNESSY AND COSMO EDITOR KESHNEE KEMP.

THE COSMO CREW – MINUS A FEW!

WOMEN ON TOP Cosmo celebrates International Women’s Day with Australia’s most influential leading ladies

SISTERS LUCIE AND ELLE FERGUSON.

MODEL FIONA FALKINER AND PARTNER LARA CREBER.

W PROJECT FUTURES CEO CLARE PEARSON.

LADIES WHO BRUNCH.

INSPIRATIONAL QUOTES WERE THE TALK OF THE DAY.

PHOTOGRAPHY BY CHRIS MOHEN

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ho run the world? Girls of course, and don’t we know it! While we think women should be celebrated every damn day of the year, to mark International Women’s Day 2018, team Cosmo gathered some of Australia’s leading female business owners, CEOs, influencers and entrepreneurs for an inspiring brunch at Drake Eatery in Sydney’s Bondi. Over avo toast and strong coffee, powerful and influential women shared their stories and experiences on how they reached the top in their chosen fields. From Tanya Hennessy breaking down the ‘boys club’ mentality in radio to Clare Pearson, CEO of Project Futures sharing her heartbreaking tales of female trafficking both abroad and at home – there wasn’t a dry eye in the house, with the strength of the sisterhood palpable. Driving the day’s discussion of equality was Cosmo editor Keshnee Kemp. ‘One thing we all agreed on is that we’ve come a very long way, but there’s still work to do. For example, we need to close that gender pay gap and continue to be women who support other women. We’re making it our mission to continue to move forward – watch this space!’

COSMO GIRLS LEISA AND KESHNEE WITH TANYA.


style THE COSMO EDIT

WINE O’CLOCK ★

JUMPER: Keepsake The Label, $199.95 (keepsakethelabel. com.au). DRESS: Silk Laundry, $220 (silklaundry.com.au). NECKLACE: Valére, $170 (valere.com.au). THREE-TIER RING: (worn throughout) Asos, $12 for pack (asos. com/au). BRACELET: (worn throughout), model’s own. BAG: Sans Beast, $349 (sansbeast.com).

E NEW BL ACK B U R G U N D Y IS T H ★ HOW TO ACCESSO RISE YOUR ARM CANDY MB OS W E LO VE ★ CO LO UR -B LO CK IN G CO ★ PE RF EC T KN ITW EA R PA IRI NG S

AS WORN BY LAURA JADE STONE @LAURAJADESTONE Summer’s over and you’ve got a winter wardrobe to sort out! So take your style cues from our fave fashion blogger, 27, and rock burgundy hues!

COSMOPOLITAN MAY 2018

25


TOP: Sandro Paris, $330 (02 9327 3377). SKIRT: Scotch & Soda, $189.95 (scotch-soda.com). EARRINGS: Valet Studio, $129 (valetstudio.com). JACKET: Bec + Bridge, $360 (becandbridge. com.au). TOP: Subtitled, $49.95 (generalpants. com.au). JEANS: Nasty Gal, $79 (nastygal. com/au). SUNGLASSES: Le Specs, $119 (lespecs. com). EARRINGS: Valére, $170 (valere.com.au). NECKLACE: Alex Monroe, $467 (03 5962 5535).

TOP: Frame, $279 (edwardsimports.com). SKIRT: Elka Collective, $329 (elkacollective.com). BOOTS: Missguided, $100.95 (missguidedau.com). HAT: Fallenbrokenstreet, $109.95 (fallenbrokenstreet.com). SUNGLASSES: Ray-Ban, $205 (sunglasshut.com/au) NECKLACE: Toby Heart Ginger, $20 (tobyheartginger.com). RINGS: Signet ring (worn throughout)

Wild Heart Jewellery, $149 (wildheart jewellery.com). Circle ring (worn throughout) Sass & Bide, $190 (sassandbide.com). SCARF: Alt. Armour, $89. BAG: Alt. Armour, from $179 (altarmour.com).

26 COSMOPOLITAN MAY 2018


style TOBY HEART GINGER,

$29 (tobyheart ginger.com) COLETTE BY COLETTE HAYMAN, $34.99

(colettehayman.com.au)

MISSGUIDED, $36.95

(missguided au.com)

SPORTSGIRL,

JACKET: Country

Road, $799 (countryroad. com.au). TOP: Bec + Bridge, $220 (becand bridge.com.au). BRALETTE: Somedays Lovin’, $39.95 (generalpants. com.au). SKIRT: Princess Polly, $50 (princess polly.com). SOCKS: Scotch & Soda, $39.95 (scotchsoda.com). BOOTS: Tony Bianco, $249.95 (tony bianco.com.au). NECKLACE: YCL Jewels, $148 (ycljewels.com).

Get the look STYLING BY ANA ZUPANOSKA. PHOTOGRAPHY BY PAUL SUESSE/BAUER. HAIR AND MAKEUP BY AIMIE FIEBIG. STYLIST ASSISTANT: JAMES TAWFIK. MODEL: LAURA JADE STONE. CREATIVE DIRECTION BY HANNAH LIDBURY

Much like a fine wine, burgundy never goes out of style

$24.95 (sportsgirl. com.au)

PRETTYLITTLETHING, $45 (prettylittlething.com.au)

CARRERA, $220 (02 9540 0500)

FINDERS KEEPERS,

$129.95 (fashion bunker.com)

SOL SANA, $209 (sol-sana.com.au)

WHITE FOX BOUTIQUE, $99.95 (whitefoxboutique.com)

STYLIST’S TIP: ‘Play with burgundy hues and gold accents for a sophisticated take on your winter wardrobe.’ – ANA, FASHION COORDINATOR COSMOPOLITAN MAY 2018

27


Block Party NOTHING BRIGHTENS UP YOUR AUTUMN LIKE THESE COLOUR COMBOS! FOLLOW OUR FORMULA...

RED + BLUE 28 COSMOPOLITAN MAY 2018

TOP: Fila x Factorie, $19.95 (factorie.com.au). SKIRT: Ramy Brook at Shopbop, $503.59 (shopbop.com). BOOTS: PrettyLittleThing, $80 (prettylittlething.com.au). EARRINGS: Alexandra Blak, $110 (alexandra blak.bigcartel.com). BAG: Elleme at Shopbop, $720.32 (shopbop.com).


style

PINK + YELLOW JACKET: PrettyLittleThing, $100 (prettylittlething. com.au). DRESS: Alice McCall, $390 (alicemccall.com). EARRINGS: Missguided, $12.95 (missguidedau.com). BAG: Jacquemus at Shopbop, $809.56 (shopbop.com).

COSMOPOLITAN MAY 2018

29


GREEN + PURPLE DRESS: Grey Jason Wu, $549 (02 8987 3400). BOOTS: Nasty Gal, $135 (nastygal.com/au). EARRINGS: Alexandra Blak, $69. GREEN BANGLE: Alexandra Blak, $270. PURPLE CUFF (LEFT HAND):

Alexandra Blak, $199. CUFF (RIGHT HAND): Alexandra Blak, $199 (alexandra blak.bigcartel.com).

30 COSMOPOLITAN MAY 2018


style ,

AURELIE BIDERMANN AT SHOPBOP,

$419 (shopbop. com) PUMA X FENTY,

$120 (au. puma.com) BEC + BRIDGE, $230 (becandbridge.com.au)

TIBI AT SHOPBOP, $385.15 (shopbop.com)

RED + BLUE BEC + BRIDGE X PARED PETITE AMOUR, $250

(becandbridge.com.au)

ASOS, $44 (asos.com/au) JIMENA ALEJANDRA, $189 (jimenaalejandra.com)

PRETTYLITTLETHING,

VANS,

PINK + YELLOW

$58, (prettylittlething. com.au)

$119.95 (vans. com.au)

ZARA, $79.95 (zara.com.au)

EPOKHE, $240

(epokhe.co)

STYLING BY DENIS TODOROVIC. PHOTOGRAPHY BY PAUL SUESSE/BAUER. HAIR AND MAKE-UP BY GEORGIA HULL AT RELOAD AGENCY. MODEL: CHEY CARTY – VIVIEN’S MODELS

ALEXANDRA BLAK, $110

(alexandrablak. bigcartel.com)

COSMO LOVES

THOMAS SABO,

$269 (thomas sabo.com) DORA LARSEN AT PORTE-À-VIE,

$79.95 (porteavie.com)

H&M, $119 (hm.com/au) POSSE, $249 (sold as

part of set) (theposse.com.au)

GREEN + PURPLE JAGGAR FOOTWEAR, $179.95

(fashionbunker.com)

STYLIST’S TIP: ‘With colour blocking, stick to two or three colours and work with those head to toe. Any more and you risk overkill.’ – DENI, STYLE EDITOR COSMOPOLITAN MAY 2018

31


OLIVIA CULPO

ALT. ARMOUR, $209 (altarmour.com)

THE BACKPACK AS STYLED BY CASSIE, MARKET EDITOR

KENDALL JENNER

It’s street style’s best friend – just pair with red, white and navy for a casual, cool-girl vibe.

THE FIFTH LABEL,

$89.95 (fashion bunker.com)

Our Hero Bags

IRIS AND INK AT THE OUTNET, $150

(theoutnet.com)

RUBI, $19.95

(cotton on.com)

JOURDAN DUNN

We show you how to style this season’s must-have arm candy

32 COSMOPOLITAN MAY 2018

ALT. ARMOUR, $89 (altarmour.com) BOOHO0, $10 (au.boohoo.com)


style

SANS BEAST, $299 (sansbeast.com)

DEADLY PONIES, $509 (deadlyponies.com)

KENZO, $319 (shopbop.com)

THE BUM BAG AS STYLED BY LOTTA, FASHION DIRECTOR

THE TOTE BAG

THE EVENING BAG

AS STYLED BY DENI, STYLE EDITOR

AS STYLED BY ANA, FASHION COORDINATOR

Rock it with elevated basics and let the bag do all the talking!

A tote with a sports-luxe feel is the perfect way to lug all your essentials.

Hit the street with a pop of colour for the ultimate urban-chic look.

FALLENBROKENSTREET, $109.95

NASTY GAL, $34 (nastygal.com/au)

(fallenbrokenstreet.com)

GUESS, $99.95 (guess.com.au)

RELIQUIA, $129 (reliquiajewellery.com)

THOMAS SABO, IRO, $699 (02 9362 1165)

$258 (thomas sabo.com)

MOSCHINO,

$324.65 (shopbop.com)

CANDIDATE AT GENERAL PANTS CO., $59.95

STILL-LIFE PHOTOGRAPHY BY WILL HORNER/BAUER. GETTY IMAGES

(generalpants.com.au)

ASOS, $65.40 (asos.com/au)

KSUBI AT GENERAL PANTS CO., $159.95

ROLLAS, $149.95 (rollas.com.au)

MISSGUIDED, $12 (missguidedau.com)

(generalpants. com.au)

DINOSAUR DESIGNS,

TONY BIANCO,

$229.95 (tonybianco. com.au)

GINGER & SMART,

$499 (gingerand smart.com)

$310 (dinosaur designs. com.au) COSMOPOLITAN MAY 2018

33


NITTY

Cosy up in style by adding some texture to your knitwear!

JUMPER: American Vintage, $257 (orderofstyle.com). PANTS: Torannce, $299 (torannce.com). SHOES: Senso, $249 (senso.com.au). EARRINGS: Jimena Alejandra, $139 (jimena alejandra.com). NECKLACE: By Charlotte, $159 (bycharlotte.com.au). BRACELET: ValĂŠre, $150 (valere.com.au).


GRITT

style SHOES OF PREY, $219 (shoesofprey.com)

STEELE, $259 (steelelabel.com) COOP BY TRELISE COOPER, $179

(trelise cooper.com)

H&M, $29 (hm.com/au)

Knits

VALÉRE,

+

$250 (valere. com.au)

Sequins DEADLY PONIES, $379

(deadlyponies.com)

RUBI, $49 (cottonon.com)

Get ready to shine, girl! Take your knitwear from day to night with sequins, metallics and glitter

UNREAL FUR AT ICONIC $149

(theiconic. com.au)

SHILLA THE LABEL, $109.95

(shillathelabel.com)

SPORTSGIRL,

$12.95 (sportsgirl. com.au)

SPORTSGIRL, $89.95 (sportsgirl.com.au)

COSMOPOLITAN MAY 2018

35


JACKET: ONLY at Myer, $59.95 (myer. com.au). JUMPER: Isabelle Quinn, $220 (isabellequinn.com.au). JEANS: H&M $54.99 (hm.com/au). SHOES: PrettyLittle Thing, $40 (prettylittlething.com.au). EARRINGS: Petite Grand, $130 (petitegrand. bigcartel.com). RINGS: Ford and Harris, from $120 (fandhjewellery.com).

36 COSMOPOLITAN MAY 2018


PAIGE AT SHOPBOP,

$333.70 (shopbop.com)

MIMCO, $129

(mimco. com.au)

REVEL, $150 (revelknitwear.com)

VIKTORIA & WOODS, $150 (viktoriaandwoods. com.au)

BOOHOO, $50 (au.boohoo.com)

Knits

+

AVENUE THE LABEL,

$75 (avenue thelabel.com)

Denim Cool and casual – you can’t go wrong with this classic combo! Accessorise with statement pieces to really up the ante TOPSHOP AT THE ICONIC,

$39.95 (theiconic. com.au)

STEELE, $159 (steelelabel.com) KARL LAGERFELD AT THE ICONIC, $449

(theiconic.com.au)

JY JEWELS, $169 (jyjewels.com)

VERONIKA MAINE, $239 (veronikamaine.com.au)

COSMOPOLITAN MAY 2018

37


DRESS: Tigerlily, $180 (tigerlilyswimwear.com.au). JUMPER: Elka Collective, $229 (elkacollective.com). BELT: Ginger & Smart, $189 (gingerandsmart. com). SHOES: Senso, $239 (senso. com.au). EARRINGS: Pastiche, $90. NECKLACE: Of Dreamers and Dancers, $70 (ofdreamersand dancers.com.au). CUFF: Pastiche, $100 (pastiche.com.au).

38 COSMOPOLITAN MAY 2018


TORANNCE , $499 (torannce.com)

REBECCA VALLANCE, $400 (rebeccavallance.com) REVEL, $150 (revelknitwear.com)

Knits

+

Silk

ALIAS MAE,

$249.95 (aliasmae. com.au)

WHITE FOX BOUTIQUE, $49.95 (whitefoxboutique.com)

Update your knit collection with sophisticated, silky additions. Stick to terracotta tones for a bang on-trend autumn look SENSO, $199

HANSEN & GRETEL,

(senso. com.au)

$199 (hansenand gretel.com)

BOOHOO, $30 (au.boohoo.com) FRANKIE PEACH, $110 (frankiepeach.com) WILD HEART JEWELLERY,

$85 (wildheart jewellery.com)

COSMOPOLITAN MAY 2018

39


TOP: ONLY at Myer, $59.95 (myer.com.au). SHORTS: Spell & The Gypsy Collective, $129 (shop. spelldesigns.com). SHOES: H&M, $140 (hm.com/au). NECKLACE: Nicole Fendel, $89 (nicolefendel.com.au). CUFF: Najo, $999 (najo.com.au).

40 COSMOPOLITAN MAY 2018


JIMENA ALEJANDRA,

$279 (jimena alejandra.com)

H&M, $39 (hm.

STYLING BY CASSIE LONGWORTH. PHOTOGRAPHY BY PAUL SUESSE/BAUER. HAIR AND MAKEUP BY JOEL PHILLIPS/VIVIENS CREATIVE. STILL-LIFE PHOTOGRAPHY BY WILL HORNER/BAUER. MODEL: EVIE RØRVIK - VIVIEN’S MODELS

com/au)

KEEPSAKE THE LABEL,

$179.95 (fashion bunker.com)

MISSGUIDED, $70.95

(missguidedau.com)

STEVIE MAY,

$240 (steviemay. com.au)

Knits

+

Lace Ensure you’re knitting pretty this season by adding a little lace to your look – go for bold bralettes for extra va-va-voom

KAREN WALKER,

$410 (karen walker.com)

KAT THE LABEL AT PORTE-À-VIE, $55

BY JOHNNY,

$260 (byjohnny. com.au)

(porteavie.com)

NICOLE FENDEL, $119 (nicolefendel.com.au)

ELKA COLLECTIVE, $219 (elkacollective.com)

COSMOPOLITAN MAY 2018

41


FOR CLEANER PORES! (IN ONE HOT MINUTE)

BIORÉ® SELF HEATING ONE MINUTE MASK WITH NATURAL CHARCOAL Experience the cleansing power of charcoal with the Bioré ® Self Heating One Minute Mask. Heats on contact with water to open pores and draw out deep down dirt, oil and impurities, leaving skin tingly smooth.

free your pores !


beauty THE COSMO EDIT

2018 BEAUTY AWARDS

WE’VE SWIPED, SPRAYED, LINED AND POWDERED TO BRING YOU THE BEST OF THE BEST!

COSMOPOLITAN MAY 2018

43


SKINCARE Make your skin ultimate #goals with these expert picks that will truly transform your skin

44 COSMOPOLITAN MAY 2018


STEAL

NEW

ICONIC

CLEANSER

QV Face Gentle Cleanser, $12.95. This cleanser is gentle enough for dry types and effective enough to rely on.

Alpha-H Essential Cleansing Balm, $45. Acts as a cleanser, toner, makeup remover and soothing balm all in one.

Dermalogica Essential Cleansing Solution, $56.50. This non-foaming formula is great for your before-bed ritual.

EYE CREAM

Nivea Q10 Plus C Anti-Wrinkle Energy Eye Treatment, $23.99. Apply before bed and wake up looking rejuvenated.

Ole Henriksen Banana Bright Eye Crème from Sephora, $55. Brighten with this vitamin-C rich under-eye saviour.

Kiehl’s Creamy Eye Avocado Treatment, $44. Not just for Sunday brunch, avocado will target those under-eye bags.

DAY CREAM

Olay Total Effects 7 in One Day Cream, $32.99. Why have one anti-ageing benefit when you can have seven?

Peter Thomas Roth Water Drench Hyaluronic Cloud Cream, $75. If you want long-lasting hydration, try this!

Clarins Super Restorative Day Cream, $138. It reduces the appearance of wrinkles, plus gives a radiant glow.

NIGHT CREAM

The Body Shop Vitamin E Nourishing Night Cream, $28. Prevents moisture loss when you’re getting those Zzz’s.

Dermalogica Sleep Sound Cocoon, $120. A gel-cream that encourages peaceful sleep by releasing soothing fragrance.

Nivea Q10 Plus C Anti Wrinkle + Energy Skin Sleep Cream, $23.99. Wake up feeling refreshed, with smoother skin.

SERUM

The Ordinary Vitamin C Suspension 23% + HA Spheres 2%, $9.80. Brightens, hydrates and smoothes skin.

BioEffect EGF + 2A Daily Treatment, $295. A renewing serum that targets environmental damage to the skin.

Estée Lauder Advanced Night Repair Synchronized Recovery Complex II, $150. Reverses lines and wrinkles.

EXFOLIATOR

Neutrogena Deep Clean Scrub, $11.99. A deeppurifying cooling gel that will leave your skin super soft.

NIP+FAB Glycolic Fix Gentle Pads – Sensitive, $34.99. Cleanse and exfoliate pores with this convenient pack.

Jurlique Daily Exfoliating Cream, $60. A non-granular cream that gently smoothes skin, leaving a radiant glow.

OIL

Trilogy Certified Organic Rosehip Oil, $25.99. Pack your skin with moisture and reduce the appearance of fine lines.

SKIN by Ecostore MultiNutrient Facial Oil, $29.99. Stimulates collagen production for a glowing complexion.

The Jojoba Company Australian Jojoba, $19.95. Nourish, soothe and moisturise with this multitasking oil.

TREATMENT

Sebamed Clear Face Care Gel, $19.99. Target breakouts with this non-irritating, moisturising gel.

Kate Somerville EradiKate Acne Treatment from Mecca, $36. An on-the-spot treatment to help clear breakouts – fast.

Mario Badescu Drying Lotion from Mecca, $24. Say goodbye to imperfections thanks to this iconic formula.

WATER/MIST

A’kin Hydrating Coconut Water & Green Tea Micellar Water, $17.95. Gently lifts away makeup and smoothes skin.

Bioderma Sensibio Tonique Soothing Moisturising Lotion, $32.99. Skin feels super soft, after just one swipe.

Avène Thermal Spring Water, $25.99. Cleanse and soothe your skin on the go. It’s compact and crazy good.

MASKS

beauty

L’Oréal Paris Pure Clay Detoxifying & Brightening Charcoal Mask, $19.99. Draws out impurities and detoxifies the skin.

Dr. Jart+ Cicapair Night Re. Pair Mask from Sephora, $71. A skin-repairing overnight gel for sensitive or irritated skin.

Clinique Moisture Surge Overnight Mask, $55. Apply before bed to wake up with plump, gorgeous skin. >

COSMOPOLITAN MAY 2018

45


BODY Whether you’re looking to tan, scrub or hydrate, these are the prods that will make your whole body sing!

46 COSMOPOLITAN MAY 2018


beauty

MOISTURISER

Nivea Body Lotion Express Hydration, $7.99. Soaks in quickly and hydrates longterm. Great for winter.

The Body Shop Coconut Nourishing Body Butter, $25. Thick, creamy and smells like holidays!

SCRUB

Essano Coconut Oil Invigorating Body Scrub, $14.99. Invigorating and energising – let your skin shine!

Frank Body Shimmer Scrub, $19.95. The cult scrub made even better, with lots of shimmer.

KORA Organics Body Exfoliator, $59.95. This gel-based formula is perfect for every other day.

We Are Feel Good Signature Sunscreen Lotion SPF 50+, $24.95. Great for the planet and for your skin.

Sun Bear Sunscreen The Original SPF 50+, $34.95. Not only does it protect, 80% of the profits help save sun bears in South East Asia.

Le Tan Coconut Sunscreen Spray SPF 50+, $19.99. Leaves skin glowing and smells like cocktails at the beach.

Swisse Ultiboost Hair Skin Nails+, $26.95. Boost lacklustre hair, skin and nails with this quality formula.

Vida Glow Beauty Cleanse Lemon & Lime, $59.95. Protects from free-radical damage and purifies the skin.

The Beauty Chef Glow Advanced Inner Beauty Powder, $59.95. Get your glow on with this probiotic super elixir!

Le Tan Uber Dark Self Tanning Foam Marula Oil, $24.99. Not for the fainthearted. This baby develops!

Elle Effect Tanning Mousse, $49.95. Super luxe and silky to apply – and it literally smells like roses. Pure genius!

Bondi Sands Ultra Dark Self Tanning Foam, $24.95. A cult classic – it’s natural looking and glides on effortlessly.

PureTAN Pure Bronze Instant Tanning Lotion Dark, $29.99. A moiustiring formula that gives great, dark colour.

Skinny Tan Roxy Tan 7 Day Tanner Ultimate Dark, $24.95. Hydrating and develops into a deep golden glow.

Ella Baché Great Tan Without Sun, $40. This tinted cream is easy to apply and develops into a streak-free tan after 1-2 hours.

Selfie Tan ’n’ Go Spray from Chemist Warehouse, $19.99. The ultra-light and quick-drying spray moisturises while you bronze.

St. Tropez Self Tan Express Bronzing Mousse, $59.99. Apply in seconds and shower within the hour! Tick.

ModelCo Tan Airbrush in a Can, $25. You can spray at any angle for hard-to-reach places, and it dries in 60 seconds.

Sportsgirl Metallic Body Glow, $12.95. Get a subtle shimmer and an instant, luminous glow.

Skinny Tan Instant Tanner, $12.95. A light-weight, tinted cream that’s easy to use and washes away after a night out.

Sally Hansen Airbrush Legs, $24.95. Mist over legs for a hint of glow and smoothlooking skin in 20 seconds!

Palmer’s Cocoa Butter Natural Bronze Body Lotion, $9.99. A total bargain – it smells chocolaty and is easy to apply!

St. Tropez Gradual Tan Tinted Lotion, $33.99. Adds an immediate sun-kissed glow that’s suitable for all skintones.

Eco Tan Winter Skin, $29.95. Perfect for beginners or pale skin, it leaves just the right wash of colour.

Bondi Sands One Hour Express Self Tanning Foam, $24.95. The newest express on the market develops in just 30 minutes.

Mine Tan Absolute x20 Self Tan Foam, $29.99. No icky tan smell and develops deep and quick so you can shower.

ModelCo Self-Tan Mousse – Ultra Dark, $20. A formula that goes on fast with no need to double coat. >

EXPRESS TAN GRADUAL TAN INSTANT TAN

TAN MOUSSE SUPPLEMENT

Lanolips Everywhere Multi-Cream, $18.95. An all-over body cream that nourishes and moisturises.

SUNSCREEN

ICONIC

TAN CREAM

NEW

TAN SPRAY

STEAL

COSMOPOLITAN MAY 2018

47


NAILS + FRAGRANCE From glossy nails to glorious scents, these finishing touches are pure magic, head to toe!

48 COSMOPOLITAN MAY 2018


beauty

NUDE

SCOUT Cosmetics Nail Polish in Free Ride, $19.95. A creamy nude shade perfect for those autumn months.

Sally Hansen Color Therapy in Re-nude, $16.95. The oil-infused pinky, nude hue keeps nails nourished.

OPI Infinite Shine Nail Lacquer in Bubble Bath, $22.95. A cult classic nude – great for work to weekend.

PASTELS

Colour by TBN Nail Polish in Nice to Mint You, $2.95. Minty fresh, just-right for tanned fingers in summer.

Mavala Nail Color Cream in Lilac Orchid, $8.50. A neutral, elegant pastel in a subtle lilac hue.

CND Vinylux Nail Lacquer in Cake Pop, $19.95. The classic baby pink – a little cute and a lot of fun.

BRIGHTS

Rimmel London 60 Seconds Nail Polish in Sunny Clash, $5.95. Brighten your day with this banana shade.

Smith & Cult Nail Lacquer in Suburban Warrior, $18. The classic Cosmo pink – we’ll love this shade forever.

Mavala Nail Color Cream in Samarkand, $8.50. We’re bringing back purple for a brighter take on berry.

REDS/PINKS

Ulta3 Nail Colour in Watermelon from Ulta3, $2.30. A fresh, juicy hue that screams summer!

RAWW Cosmetics Kale’d It Nail Lacquer in Happy Days (Always), $14.99. Powered by kale protein for strong, healthy nails.

Revlon Nail Enamel in Revlon Red, $13.95 The sexy and classic, grownup-girl red.

DARK

Sally Hansen Color Therapy in Exotic Açai, $16.95. Not ready to go black? Then this extra-dark berry colour is for you.

Rimmel Super Gel in Fatal Fling, $9.95. A deep, burgundy shade with a super-shiny finish.

OPI Infinite Shine Nail Lacquer in Lincoln Park After Dark, $22.95. Deep, dark and oh-so-classic.

FLORAL

Marc Jacobs Daisy Twinkle EDT 50ml, $89. A juicy burst of wild berries mixed with hints of violet.

Prada La Femme Prada L’Eau EDT 100ml, $198. Feminine and floral with a touch of frangipani and mandarin.

Aerin Evening Rose EDP 50ml, $175. A hint of rose and cognac make this an intriguing take on a floral fragrance.

UNISEX

Katy Perry Indi EDP 100ml from Chemist Warehouse, $69. Trust us – you won’t just like it, you’ll LOVE it!

Goldfield & Banks Wood Infusion 100ml, $229. Deep, woody and oh-so-sexy. You’ll smell totally exotic!

CK2 EDT 100ml, $99. Sleek and sensual – the perfect scent for a sneaky night out on the town!

FRUITY

ICONIC

Jo Malone Grapefruit EDP 30ml, $98. An invigorating citrus scent with notes of grapefruit and tangerine.

Inlé Memo Paris EDP 75ml, $299. Inspired by memories, this luxe brand features a gorgeous gold image on each bottle.

Diptyque Philosykos EDP 75ml from Mecca, $204. A subtle scent with pops of fig and cedar. Great for all-day wear.

SEXY

NEW

Mugler Aura EDP 30ml, $99. A heady, alluring scent with a gorgeous bottle that’ll make your friends green with envy.

Derek Lam 10 Crosby Blackout EDP 50ml, $125. Inspired by a night out in NYC – notes of chai and passionfruit will draw attention.

Narciso Rodriguez Narciso EDP 50ml, $127. A touch of mystery, with a mix of floral and deep, woody notes.

FRESH

STEAL

Elizabeth Arden White Tea EDT 100ml, $69. Elizabeth Arden’s reinvented herself with this simple, yet sensual scent.

Kate Spade Walking on Air EDP 100ml, $114. An airy, light floral with a burst of lily that’s great for day or night.

CLEAN Reserve Rain EDP 100ml, $140. Light and fresh, this mild, musky fragrance will conjure up cosy, rainy days. >

COSMOPOLITAN MAY 2018

49


HAIR Get the hair that everyone wants – whether it’s smooth and sleek or big and bouncy – with these all-star hero products 50 COSMOPOLITAN MAY 2018


beauty

Hair Recipe Shampoo and Conditioner, $19.99 each. Fruity and sweet, this formula will nourish from the inside out.

Maui Moisture Shampoo and Conditioner, $19.99 each. A burst of tropical scents with a super-hydrating formula.

Herbal Essences Shampoo and Conditioner, $11.99 each. That classic formula that still rocks.

De Lorenzo Absorb Dry Shampoo, $19.90. A light spray that adds body and won’t weigh the hair down.

Skyline Dry Shampoo Powder, $53. This powder will hide even the dirtiest of hair with a fresh, fun scent.

Klorane Gentle Dry Shampoo with Oat Milk, $14.99. This cult classic that always gets the job done.

Eleven Give Me Hold Flexible Hairspray, $23.95. Gives just enough hold to keep a bouncy, natural ’do in place.

Mr Smith Hairspray, $37. Strong, weightless and holds hair perfectly without all the stickiness.

L’Oréal Paris Elnett Satin Normal Strength Hairspray, $10.99. For a strong hold your hair can depend on.

VOLUME

Evo Root Canal Base Support Spray, $34. Builds serious body and texture from the roots.

Fudge Big Hair Think Big Texture Spray, $19.95. Maximum volume via this ultra-fine mist.

Wella Body Crafter, $24.95. For super voluptuous and sleek #hairgoals, try this amazing product!

REPAIR

John Frieda Frizz Ease Original 6 Effects Serum, 16.99. The classic oil that tames flyaways in seconds.

Ouai Hair Oil from Sephora, $43. Smells like Hawaii in a bottle, strengthening and smoothing with just a drop!

OGX Extra Strength Damage Remedy + Coconut Miracle Oil, $17.99 Let coconut oil give you silky soft strands.

TEXTURE

John Frieda Air Dry Mousse, $16.99. Simply apply to wet hair and leave to dry for soft, frizz-free waves. Boom.

Drybar Mai Tai Spritzer Sea Salt Spray, from Sephora, $34. For salty, textured hair that even mermaids would envy.

Kevin.Murphy Bedroom.Hair, $42.95. Spray to imitate just the right amount of sexy, post-nap hair.

SMOOTH

Eleven Australia Smooth & Shine Anti-Frizz Serum, $45. A leave-in formula for glossy locks with no frizz in sight!

My Organics Hair Elixir, from Chemist Warehouse, $24.99. Nourish your hair with this silky oil.

ghd Smooth and Straight Spray, $22. Get your strands ultra-sleek with this heat-protecting spray.

MASK

ICONIC

Pantene 3 Minute Miracle, $6.99. Repairs damage quicker than your microwave popcorn.

Brite Organix Masque, $16.99. Give your hair some TLC with this cute and convenient pack perfect for travel!

Kérastase Masque D’Huile Sublimatrice, $66. Magic may not exist, but luckily for us, this Kérastase mask does.

STRAIGHTENER

NEW

TRESemmé Smooth Protection Shine Spray, $11.49. Protect your strands while injecting killer shine.

Remington Proluxe Straightener, $149. This hair hero delivers the goods without maxing out your credit card.

ghd Gold Professional Styler, $280. For salon-worthy style straight from the comfort of your own bedroom.

CURLER

SHAMPOO & HAIRSPRAY DRY SHAMPOO CONDITIONER

STEAL

Sebastian Twisted Curl Styling Cream, $44.95. Define your curls without the crunchiness.

Drybar The Wrap Party Curling Wand, $221 from Sephora. Perfect for shiny, flawless waves and curls.

Halo The Marilyn, $139.95. A super-versatile wand that can create anything from bouncy curls to mermaid waves. >

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MAKEUP Everything from priming your face and acing your base to swiping a juicy lipstick – we have you covered

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LIPSTICK

Revlon Super Lustrous Lipstick in Fire & Ice, $22.95. An instant mood booster that won’t break the bank.

Charlotte Tilbury Hot Lips in Super Cindy, $49. A lustworthy shade with packaging that you’ll love pulling out of your bag.

M.A.C Lipstick in Ruby Woo, $36. The perfect creamy, long-wearing blend in a suits-all red shade.

EYESHADOW

Maybelline New York The Burgundy Bar, $26.95. Totally on-trend and lots of bang for your buck.

Marc Jacobs Beauty Eye-Conic Eyeshadow in Scandalust, $66. The shades glide on with a pop of earthy colour.

Urban Decay Naked Eyeshadow Palette from Mecca, $83. Velvety formulas that can be layered with ease.

EYELINER

Rimmel Glam’Eyes Eye Liner in Black, $11.95. Swipes on fast and won’t rub off during the day.

CoverGirl Liquid Liner in Vinyl Black, $5.95. The absolute easiest liner to apply and it dries in an instant!

Maybelline New York EyeStudio Lasting Drama Gel Pot Liner, $16.95. Paints on creamy, then lasts and lasts (and lasts).

FOUNDATION

Garnier BB Cream Miracle Skin Perfector, $15.99. Feels like a moisturiser with the pay-off of foundation.

IT Cosmetics CC+ Cream Illumination SPF 50+, $61. Glowy, full coverage that looks super natural.

Giorgio Armani Luminous Silk Foundation, $99. Not too matte or dewy, the just-right formula is a cult classic.

CHEEKS

Bourjois Little Blush Pot (the new duo), $20. The iconic mini blush now comes in double sweet shades – bonus!

Art Deco Cushion Blusher, $39. A fun, exotic shade that gives holiday vibes as soon as it’s applied.

Benefit Hoola Bronzer, $51. Dust it lightly to set foundation and give a hint of glow, or build it up for a sun-kissed cheek.

HIGHLIGHTER

Nude by Nature Touch of Glow Highlighter Stick, $24.95. Swipe over skin and blend with fingertips for instant radiance.

Iconic London Illuminator, $63. The densely packed liquid illuminiser adds a sexy sheen to skin.

M.A.C Strobe Cream, $55. Looks amazing on cheekbones and all over your skin and your body too. Prepare to glow!

CONCEALER

Maybelline New York Age Rewind Eraser Dark Circles, $18.95. The sponge applicator makes it easy to use and it lasts for ages.

It Cosmetics Bye Bye Breakout Concealer from Sephora, $35. An anti-ageing, full-coverage concealer.

Laura Mercier Secret Camouflage Concealer, $55. Nail your shade with this two-tone, oil-free concealer.

MASCARA

ICONIC

L’Oréal Paris Volume Million Lashes Feline, $24.95. One coat gives massive lashes and two coats will add extra ‘wow factor’.

Benefit BADgal Bang, $42. Get volume, length and fullness to your lashes with just one magic wand. Defies gravity!

Dior Diorshow Curl Iconic Mascara, $56. Give your lashes a killer lift and curl with no clumps in sight.

PRIMER

NEW

Australis Colour Clique CC Primer Violet Lover, $16.95. This brightening gem will hydrate and prep for a flawless base.

Fenty Beauty Pro Filt’r Instant Retouch Primer, $46. A pore-diffusing primer that feels so hydrating as it glides over skin.

Napoleon Perdis Auto Pilot Pre-Foundation Skin Primer, $59. Smoothes on silky to hold base in place all day.

CONTOURING

WORDS BY ALEXIS TEASDALE AND CASSIDY LOANE. STYLING BY ALEXIS TEASDALE. PHOTOGRAPHY BY PAUL SUESSE/BAUER. HAIR AND MAKEUP BY GEORGIA HULL AT RELOAD AGENCY. MODEL: EVIE RØRVIK/VIVIEN’S

STEAL

Models Own Sculpt & Glow Contour Palette, $24.95. Contour with this all-in-one palette for less than a bottle of vino.

Fenty Beauty Match Stix Trio, $79. Conceal, contour and highlight with these three long-wear hero products.

Clinique Chubby Stick Sculpting Contour in Curvy Contour, $42. It’s super creamy and easy to blend. #

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beauty Q: I’VE HEARD A LOT ABOUT CHARCOAL LATELY. WHAT CAN IT DO FOR MY SKIN? A: Charcoal is great for drawing

Q: MY FOUNDATION DOESN’T LAST! ANY RECOMMENDATIONS FOR ONE THAT WILL STAY PUT? A: If you’re after

impurities out of the skin. It absorbs excess oil and dirt out of the skin before it turns into a breakout, leaving your skin clean and fresh. Choose Bioré Charcoal Acne Scrub, $9.99, which also exfoliates your skin for a radiant, clear complexion.

BEAUTY Q&A

MARGOT KNOWS HOW TO ACE HER BASE!

Q: I’M CONSCIOUS OF MY SKIN DISCOLOURATION AS MY MAKEUP WEARS OFF. CAN I FIX IT ON THE GO? A: Yes! Colour correctors now

exist in cushion compacts – the perfect way to touch up dark circles or discolouration on the run. Try Mirenesse’s 10 Collagen Cushion Tone Correcting Primer, $59.95. It has three different correctors you can use on the go for discolouration, dullness and redness.

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Your most baffling beauty questions Q: I WANT TO ROCK A RED LIP, BUT FEEL LIKE A CLOWN. HELP! A: Without a flawless base, red lippy can highlight redness in your skin, so nail your foundation, then apply one coat of red and blot on a tissue to give it a stained effect. It’s a less full-on way to wear red and a good way to work up to painting on an opaque coat. Try M.A.C Viva Glam Lipstick Sia, $36. All profits go to the M.A.C AIDS Fund.

Q: I REALLY WANT TO WHITEN MY TEETH, FAST! WHAT’S THE BEST WAY? A: At-home teeth whitening has

come a long way, and now you can use ‘blue-light’ technology (which used to only be available at the dentist) in the comfort of your own home. Just pop in the mouth tray and see results from the first use – say goodbye to yellow teeth! Grab White Glo White Accelerator Blue Light Whitening System Kit, $34.99.

WORDS BY CASSIDY LOANE AND ALEXIS TEASDALE. STILL-LIFE PHOTOGRAPHY BY CHRIS JANSEN/BAUER. GETTY IMAGES

YOU ASKED. WE ANSWERED

COSMO BEAUTY GURUS CASSIDY & ALEXIS.

a long-wearing foundation day to night, try Nude by Nature Flawless Foundation, $39.95. It provides a smooth finish with its highly pigmented but light liquid base. Its skin-loving ingredients will also keep your skin hydrated all day.


WHAT I WISH I’D KNOWN… We asked some of the biggest names in beauty what they’d tell their younger selves if they had the chance, so you can benefit from their pearls of wisdom! ALLI WEBB FOUNDER, DRYBAR

‘THE ADVICE I WOULD GIVE MYSELF IS TO TAKE MUCH BETTER CARE OF MY SKIN. I DIDN’T EVEN WASH MY FACE PROPERLY WHEN I WAS YOUNGER! I NEVER TOOK CARE OF MY SKIN THE WAY I DO NOW. WHEN YOU’RE YOUNG, YOU DON’T THINK YOU’LL EVER GET WRINKLES AND THAT YOU’RE A FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH! NOW I KNOW THE IMPORTANCE OF GETTING FACIALS BECAUSE IT REALLY DOES HELP YOUR SKIN.’ 56 COSMOPOLITAN MAY 2018


beauty

JEANNE CHAVEZ CO-FOUNDER, SMITH & CULT

Wende Zomnir Founding partner and

chief creative officer, Urban Decay ‘If you want to start a beauty brand, make sure that you have a business plan. And I know that’s not glamorous advice, but it’s important, especially if you’re a creative person. It makes sure that your creativity gets seen by the rest of the world. When I first started, I thought that if I make great products they would just sell themselves, and it became apparent very quickly that there’s more to it than that – so back yourself, back your idea and make sure you have the proper support in place to be successful!’

‘I would tell my younger self to take more beauty risks. Youth really accommodates the ability to gamble with your beauty choices. I’d dye my hair pink and wear holographic and glitter colours on my eyes and lips. By no means am I saying that you can’t take beauty risks at any age, but I urge women of all ages to try something new.’

RAE MORRIS MAKEUP ARTIST, AUTHOR, FOUNDER, RAE MORRIS BRUSHES ‘I would tell myself, “Don’t be scared.” There is a saying that I have lived by: “What would you do, if you knew for sure you could not fail?” Invest in your craft and surround yourself with people who make you a better and more successful person. If you hang around successful people, they’ll have contacts that can help short-cut things.’

CHANEL JENAE FOUNDER, ARCONA SKINCARE

‘LISTEN TO YOUR INSTINCTS AND ALIGN YOURSELF WITH A MENTOR. WORK HARD, BE PATIENT AND IF YOU CULTIVATE YOUR GARDEN (PASSION), IT WILL FLOURISH.’

IMAGES SUPPLIED

ANNIE FORD DANIELSON GLOBAL BEAUTY AUTHORITY, BENEFIT COSMETICS ‘You’re not going to be perfect, so let’s focus on what you’ve got! These days there’s so much content being thrown at young women and they come into our stores saying, “I want to look like this,” showing us content from social media. I always say to girls, “Let’s talk about you. What do you love about yourself?” And most of the time young girls say, “I don’t like my skin, can you cover it up?” instead of saying, “I love my brows, I love my lips – let’s play these up.”’

EMMA HOBSON

Education Manager for the International Dermal Institute and Dermalogica ‘I’d tell myself to get a decent SPF50+ and bathe in the stuff every day. You don’t realise until you start to age just how much damage is caused by the sun. I’d tell myself not to smoke at 18 years of age and to take more time to cleanse my skin properly, especially at bed time. I wouldn’t have had half of the breakouts if I’d taken this piece of simple advice.’ #

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AS SEEN ON


work THE COSMO EDIT

THAT DID NOT GO WELL

E $ $ $ – FA S T ! V A S O T S Y A W E ★ F IV ★ AISHA JADE ’S A REAL- LIFE BOSS BABE LE AD IN G LA DI ES ★ KI CK-A SS AD VI CE FR OM COSMOPOLITAN MAY 2018

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NO NEED TO PANIC AT THE PRINTERS.

The butterflies start the night before. You’ve done your research. You’ve stalked whoever you’re meeting on every online platform possible. You’ve tried on every conceivable outfit in your wardrobe. And here’s what follows: the meeting goes well – you think. But then – after weeks of anticipated excitement and hope – nothing. If you’re not getting the call back, then here’s why... 60 COSMOPOLITAN MAY 2018

You read from a script While it’s tempting to memorise information that you can recite, beware – no one wants to hire a robot. As well as your professional experience, talking about your life outside work gives employers a good idea of the type of person they’d be hiring. Emma Codd, managing partner for talent at Deloitte UK, says, ‘Employers want people from various backgrounds, not corporate cutouts,’ adding that, ‘Everyone’s life experiences are different; yours make you who you are.

We want to hire people who can bring a range of perspectives and experiences to our firm.’ NEXT TIME: Think of the things you can shout about that have nothing to do with work, but give a portal into what you’re like as a person. Marathon runner? You’re tough, with stamina. Upcycling obsessive? You’re creative, with imagination.

You moaned about your current job Would you spend a first date whinging about your ex? Exactly. So don’t do the equivalent when you’re


work

GHOST BUSTERS applying for jobs. Talking negatively about your employer ‘can paint you in a negative light with the prospective employer’, says Rupa Ganatra, founding partner of global business summit Millennial 20/20. All you’ll do is make the interviewer wary of how you’ll be talking about them in future if they do end up giving you the job. NEXT TIME: If asked why you’re leaving your current job, say something that shows you’re hungry for the next challenge. It’s the difference between ‘I’ve been at my job for two years, and am ready for more responsibility,’ and ‘I’ve been at my job for two years, and have nothing left to accomplish there.’

that you’re not so good at public speaking, say, but that you have been working on it by doing X, Y and Z shows honesty, without revealing any incapabilities.

You tried to be perfect It’s a fine line between being your best self, and being the biggest asshole in the office who maintains they’ve never put a foot wrong at work. ‘People are often scared to talk about failures, but we like to hire people who aren’t afraid to test new ideas, even if they don’t work. I see a candidate’s willingness to be open about this as an indication that they are willing to push the boundaries,’ says Gillian Tans, CEO of Booking.com. NEXT TIME: Be specific. Instead of just coming up with an example of a time when something went wrong, come up with five things you learnt from it. It shows you’re not afraid to take risks.

WORDS BY AOIFE-STUART-MADGE. ADDITIONAL REPORTING BY CATRIONA INNES. PHOTOGRAPHY BY BEN GOLDSTEIN/STUDIO D. GETTY IMAGES

‘Never speak negatively about your employer’

You answered that question wrong The inevitable ‘What are your weaknesses?’ question is how the employer eases any doubts that you’re wrong for the role. But Mel Barclay, executive career coach at Lee Hecht Harrison Penna, advises that you tread carefully. ‘Avoid talking about your weaknesses against the hiring criteria,’ she says. Translation? Pick something that isn’t on the job description. NEXT TIME: Choose a weakness that is a) relevant to the job at hand – but not within the criteria, and b) fixable. Citing

MORE REASONS THEY’RE NOT CALLING YOU BACK

COLUMB-NO You overdid it on the pre-interview stalking. Note to self: If they haven’t told you about their trip to Dubai, don’t ask about it.

MR MOTIVATOR You got too excited during the ‘Any questions?’ part. YES, it’s great they have a gym. NO, they don’t want to do 20 star jumps with you.

JUDGE RUDEY You offended one of their family members: ‘I mean, who calls their kid Barry these days anyway?’ They did. Apparently.

NEXT TIME: Ask a question that

reflects your research. Read about the company in the business section of the newspaper? Ask what’s next for them. Seen an interesting post of theirs online? Ask who does their social channels and say how much you enjoy their output.

You let your ego take over ‘Don’t show off. The interviewer wants to know your strengths, but be sure to present these without boasting,’ says Paula Tinkler, commercial director at chemicals firm Chemoxy. NEXT TIME: Don’t just tell them that you’re brilliant at something, show proof. Say, ‘At my last job, I was put in charge of X, and it resulted in Y for the company.’ Blowing your own trumpet is fine, but remember, you have be able to back it up. #

You asked them something silly We all know you can’t stay mute during the ‘Any questions?’ part of the interview. But don’t ask something you should already know. ‘You can find out about a company through social media and websites,’ says Rachel Parsonage, MD of beauty company KMI Brands.

DON’T LOSE YOUR HEAD OVER IT... GEDDIT?

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0 0 0 , 1 $ E V A S H T N O M S I H T Yes, you can actually do this and no, you don’t have to give up your avo toast! We show you how...

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GET REAL

WORDS BY MORGAN REARDON. GETTY IMAGES

Urgh, saving! The ‘S’ word is enough to dampen any mood, causing us to crawl into the foetal position and cover our ears. A little dramatic? Perhaps, but let’s get real, saving money and living your best life rarely go hand in hand. So what if we told you, you can save money every month – like big money – and still buy that gorge dress you’ve been longing for or that holiday you’re just dying to Instagram the crap out of ? Financial planner and author of The $1000 Project (Penguin, $34.99 Penguin.com.au) Canna Campbell saved a whopping $32,000 in just 12 months, so you can too! She wants us to change the way we think about our finances – saving needn’t be a dirty word. ‘Financial stability is actually a form of self-love,’ says Campbell. ‘We spend time exercising to keep our bodies healthy, we read books to stimulate our minds and spend time with family and friends to strengthen our relationships, so finance and being financially stable is another pillar of our overall wellbeing.’ Makes sense to us – grab and a pen and paper, gals, here’s her top tips to boost your bank balance.

Out with the old

Remember that amazing designer dress you spent tons of money on for a special event then only wore it once? Instead of letting it collect dust in your wardrobe, sell it and make some cash. ‘The old adage, one man’s trash is another’s treasure

really rings true when it comes to selling your clothes,’ says Campbell. ‘Among the obvious sites like Gumtree and eBay, there’s also Facebook groups that specialise in designer or vintage clothing. I buy 70 per cent of my clothes from a Facebook group called High End, where some items still have their price tags on them – so you can actually save money by shopping on there too.’ Remember, the better it looks, the more likely someone is going to buy it, so display it as best you can with natural lighting and include lots of info in the description.

Pimp your prime When it comes to this tip, you need to put your modesty aside and embrace your talents – whatever they are. ‘Everyone has a potential side hustle,’ says Campbell. A whiz at IT? Why not help out small businesses build their websites. Pro with a camera? Try picking up some photography jobs on the weekends. And it doesn’t have to be extreme – even walking your neighbours dogs or making like your high school days and grabbing some babysitting gigs will see you raking in extra cash. ‘There are so many things you can actually do beyond your salary and 9-5 jobs that can help bring in extra money. Don’t underestimate just how much these jobs can really help you boost your savings,’ adds Campbell.

Rent it out

If you live out of home, you’re literally sitting on a potential

MAKE A REALISTIC BUDGET Before you roll your eyes, stay with us – there’s serious savings to be made when you actually take the time to see where you’re spending your cash. ‘Really have a think about what you can reduce,’ says Campbell. ‘You don’t have to cut it out completely but small changes will make a huge difference, such as taking your lunch to work just three times a week instead of eating out every day.’ And you don’t have to live off this budget forever, just long enough to get your savings to where you want them to be. It’s just a bit of shortterm pain in order to manifest some extra cash for you.’ But you need to be careful you don’t accidently spend all those savings. Instead, create a separate savings account and transfer the funds you saved over straight away and watch those dollars signs rise!

money-making gold mine! ‘Everyone knows about Airbnb and Stayz as places where you can rent out your home,’ says Campbell. ‘But you don’t have to wait until you’re on holiday to make some money. My boyfriend and I will swap places. I’ll rent my home out and move into his and then he’ll do the same and move in with me. It’s a great way to make some extra cash for a weekend away.’ Don’t have a partner? No worries, why not see if a friend would be up for it and you can split the profits with them. If you’ve got a car and don’t use it during the week or on weekends, rent that out too. Check out Carnextdoor.com.au.

Enrol your opinion

Got an opinion? Then get paid for it! Yes, you can actually make money simply by telling people what you think. ‘All you need to do is Google “market research” and you’ll see a heap of local market research companies that you can register with. Then they’ll either call or email you inviting you to attend market research sessions nearby,’ explains Campbell. Sessions can be done in person, groups, over the phone or online. You can make anywhere from $50 to a few hundred dollars and all you have to do is answer questions about a product or company. ‘They can be really interesting too,’ adds Campbell. ‘I recently did one online, it only took an hour and I was paid $250 – it’s that easy.’ # COSMOPOLITAN MAY 2018

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BOYBYHER THE LABEL TV personality Aisha Jade, 26, turned her popular fashion blog into successful clothing label BOYBYHER, which has won her a legion of A-list fans

TOMBOY AISHA STILL LOVES PINK!

AISHA’S CASUAL-CHIC STYLE TURNS HEADS.

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BUSINESS BABE.

How did you come up with BOYBYHER? Originally BOYBYHER was my lifestyle blog, documenting fashion shoots, events and travel destinations. BOYBYHER The Label came about because of the huge interest I received when I wore masculine pieces. I was inundated with messages from people asking where I purchased my clothes from, how to style it up, etc. And, as they say, the rest is history.

COMPILED BY SHARI NEMENTZIK. PHOTOGRAPHS SUPPLIED

What was the inspiration? I’m a bit of a tomboy, so I wanted to create a range that reflected my laid-back attitude. BOBYHER was designed to bridge the gap between feminine and masculine ideals and breakdown stereotypes of what’s considered ‘sexy’. I wanted to create something people felt was effortless and could be rocked with any pair of fresh sneakers (my go-to!). What was your biggest challenge in launching the business? I launched the brand a month after I moved to LA, so the time difference was a huge challenge for me. Working with contacts in Melbourne, Sydney, New Zealand and Bali, while living here in LA made for some late nights! How did you fund it? So far I’ve funded BOYBYHER myself, which

A DAY IN MY LIFE

7AM Wake up for a morning meditation followed by a hike at Runyon Canyon.

11AM Get on top of e-mails with manufacturers and design work, while Soph (Sophie Needs, the PR and content creator for BOYBYHER) back in Melbourne deals with content planning for the week ahead.

2PM I head down to a café on Melrose Avenue (Zinque is a fave), followed by stockist scouting.

4PM Now that it’s around midday in Australia and Bali, I’m usually back home to deal with emails and Skype meetings for the next few hours.

AISHA HANGS WITH FELLOW INFLUENCER BIANCA CHEAHCHALMERS IN LA.

has been both satisfying and scary at the same time. It was either put a deposit down on a house or risk it all and start a business that I could grow into something bigger. You have a huge social following. How integral is social media for your brand? Social media allows us to connect with people around the world who may not have seen BOYBYHER before. It’s exciting to see where each purchase is coming from, especially those outside of Australia and New Zealand. If you could go back and do it all again, what advice would you give yourself? I would tell myself that working for yourself is the hardest thing you’ll ever do, and that there’s no 9-5pm – only long days and nights. But with each item you sell and each new product you

design, there’s so much joy and reward. Who are your most famous clientele? Living here in LA is proving to be a blessing for the brand as our pieces get worn by the likes of Margot Robbie, Gigi Hadid and even my cute little gran who rocks it around town on her visits (she’s pretty famous to me). What’s your advice for Cosmo readers wanting to start a business? Do your homework and don’t be afraid to ask questions. Successful people love to share their knowledge, so gather as much information as you can before you begin. Always remain fearless and passionate; have patience and persistence. It’s a wild ride so buckle up! And be prepared for a few breakdowns along the way... # COSMOPOLITAN MAY 2018

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WWW.ELOMILINGERIE.COM

ELOMI IS PART OF THE

GROUP.


body THE COSMO EDIT

DON’T HATE MORNING PEOPLE – BE ONE!

STOCKSY

O U R C H O IC E S Y : N IO T P E C A R T ★ CON ★ HOW THE WORLD CELEBRATES PERIODS STA- EL IT E ★ FI T TI PS FR OM TH E IN ★ EAT YOUR SELF HAPP Y

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GETTING OUT OF BED IN THE DARK DEAD OF WINTER (WE'RE NOT FAR AWAY!) truly sucks. But it might be a key part of your overall wellbeing. Research shows that self-identified morning people – anyone who feels energised in the a.m. as opposed to those who hit snooze seven times – tend to be happier and report feeling physically healthier than night owls do. And a study in the journal PLOS One found that morning people have a lower body mass index – perhaps because catching sun before noon synchronises your circadian rhythm, or internal body clock, and helps keep your metabolism on track. Down to reap the perks? You’ll have to commit to the morning-person lifestyle seven days a week. ‘If your ideal weekend involves staying up all night and sleeping until noon, it’s going to be harder to get back on track Monday through Friday,’ says sleep specialist W. Christopher Winter, MD, author of The Sleep Solution. But trust: Follow these steps and soon you’ll be one of those annoyingly chipper people passersby snarl at.

YOU ARE 98 PER CENT MORE LIKELY TO SLEEP POORLY IF YOU BINGEWATCH TV THAN IF YOU DON’T, ACCORDING TO A NEW STUDY PUBLISHED IN THE JOURNAL OF CLINICAL SLEEP MEDICINE.

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Attend an A.M. Fitness Class

A morning sweat sesh is one of the best things you can do to reset your internal body clock, says Dr. Winter. ‘You’re telling your brain that you’re in the wake stage of your 24-hour circadian process,’ he explains. And after you’ve done a few morning workouts, your body will begin anticipating them. In the initial days of becoming an early-workout betch, hit the gym with a friend who starts her day with a class and will hold you accountable. (What’s more motivating than the fear of standing up your homegirl?) If your crew lacks early risers, meet some at a sunrise dance festival or a crack-of-dawn, outdoor fitness session.

2 Rise and Grind

Yup, 7am sex might actually help you join club morning glory, says Dr. Winter. Early morning O’s help kick off your day with a flood of neurotransmitters like dopamine, which promote wakefulness. And making a habit of sun-up sexy time (with yourself or someone else) encourages your bod to expect morning pleasure, explains Dr. Winter, helping you wake up more easily (duh).


body

3 Don’t Tuck Yourself in With an Insta Story

WORDS BY LAMBETH HOCHWALD. PHOTOGRAPHY BY ALLIE HOLLOWAY/STUDIO D. GETTY IMAGES. *CONVERSION CORRECT AT TIME OF PRINT

A 2017 study suggests that surfing the socials 30 minutes before passing out leads to worse sleep than if you quit Liking pics hours before you’re in bed. Reasons for this include: Your phone’s blue light curbs your natural melatonin flow, social media can cause cognitive arousal (i.e., that feeling when your ex tags his new GF), and hours feeding your habit displace sleep time. To wake up refreshed, stop scrolling half an hour before bed.

Don’t Let Booze Wreck Your Snooze

If you want to be a rise-andshiner, pass on the vino. Aim to stop drinking wine (or any alcohol) four to six hours before bed, says Dr. Winter. If there’s too much booze in your blood, your bod suppresses crucial REM sleep (the restorative sleep stage important for learning and memory) during the first half of the night. As you sober up mid-sleep, your REMs may launch closer to morning – rejiggering your natural circadian rhythm and delaying the wake-up time of your ‘alert’ neurotransmitters.

THREE WAYS TO JUMP-START YOUR MORNING The Night Shift feature on Apple iOS changes your phone’s blue light to an orange-red hue that won’t have as big of an impact on your circadian rhythm.

Swap your alarm clock app for the PureGuardian SPA260 Ultrasonic Cool Mist Deluxe Aromatherapy Essential Oil Diffuser with Touch Controls and Alarm Clock ($65*, Amazon.com), and be summoned from sleep by vaporised oils of your choosing.

High-tech Soraa Sky lightbulbs (Soraa.com for retailers) sync their blue-light levels to your sleep and wake times, helping you hit the pillow and get up at the same time on the regular (therefore promoting better sleep).

Set a Bedtime Alarm

You promised yourself you’d go to bed at a reasonable hour, but then you remembered there’s a 24-hour sale online and you’ve been meaning to organise your closet. Boom, it’s midnight… and you haven’t even brushed your teeth. The easiest solve ever: Hold yourself accountable with a sleep alarm. ‘An alarm will alert you to shut down whatever you’re doing and get to bed,’ says Terry Cralle, RN, a certified clinical sleep educator in Washington, D.C. Before you know it, your instinct to conk out will kick in before the alarm goes off.

6 Say Cheese

This bedtime snack is actually legit, says Dr. Winter. Cheese contains tryptophan, the same snooze-inducing chemical

found in turkey, which facilitates the production of melatonin and makes you tired. Try a bowl of cottage cheese or a couple of slices of low-fat cheddar an hour or two before bed to help you snooze.

7 Spoon a Heating Pad

Turn up the heat in bed in the morning and you’ll be more likely to get vertical. That’s because your circadian rhythm syncs your temp to your sleep-and-wake cycle. When your core temp is low, it’s time for bed. When it’s high, it’s time to get up. It might take a while to revamp your body clock, but snuggling with a heating pad speeds things up. Set an alarm for 30 minutes before you need to be up. When the alarm sounds, turn on the heat and go back to sleep. As your temp rises, you’ll feel more alert. # COSMOPOLITAN MAY 2018

69


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body

The Right Way to Eat Your Feelings WORDS BY MEGAN DEEM. DATES IMAGE: SARAH VANTASSEL. FOOD STYLIST: QUELCY KOGEL. GETTY IMAGES, STOCKSY

When it all goes to sh*t, we often turn to food. But it doesn’t have to be icecreams and burgers to heal your feels... NEGATIVE FEELS probably give you the urge to Bridget Jones a block of chocolate… versus cosying up to, say, a plate of steamed broccoli or cauliflower. And it’s natural to crave crap food when you’re in a crap mood, since sweets and simple carbs cause your brain to release hits of feel-good chemicals, explains Rachel Lustgarten, RD, a clinical dietitian at Weill Cornell Medicine in New York City. Unfortunately, the high doesn’t last. Nope, unhealthy grub also spikes your blood sugar, which then crashes, leaving you feeling sluggish, hungry, and no happier than you were before.

Enter health coach Lindsay Smith, whose new book, Eat Your Feelings, The Food Mood Girl’s Guide to Transforming Your Emotional Eating, shows how to curb outta-control emotional cravings with satisfying, healthy

alternatives. Her philosophy: Feeding feelings like stress, sadness, and fatigue with solid, mood-boosting nutrients instead of garbage can quell your hankerings and soothe your emo ’tude. Take a bite of her tasty advice. >

OK, SO THIS IS OBVIOUSLY NOT THE RIGHT WAY...

COSMOPOLITAN MAY 2018

71


I F YOU ’R E ...

HEARTBROKEN

I F YOU’R E ...

STRESSED

body

WHAT YOU WANT

WHAT YOU NEED

When your mind is fried, you may be tempted to inhale bag after bag of chips. But simple carbs, which your bod converts to straight-up sugar, put your energy levels on an anxietyprovoking rollercoaster, says Lustgarten.

Reach for nutrients that calm your nerves. Zinc, found in nuts like walnuts, has been shown to reduce tension over time. Walnuts are also full of healthy fats, which can help you make clearer decisions. ‘You’ll increase your brain function when you incorporate this kind of goodness into your diet,’ says Smith.

WHAT YOU WANT

WHAT YOU NEED

YOUR HAPPY SNACK

Instead of temporarily blunting your blues with a lasagne binge, reach for foods that will help you get out of the dumps for good. Bananas (which we magically transform into dessert, see right) contain magnesium, a healthier serotonin-booster than can help improve your mood long-term.

Break-up Ice-Cream In a blender, combine one frozen, sliced banana with ½ cup almond milk and 1 tablespoon peanut butter. Blend until smooth, then top with dark chocolate chips. Eat immediately, or freeze for 30 minutes for a firmer consistency.

WHAT YOU NEED

YOUR HAPPY SIP

When it comes to sailing over the 3pm hump, liquids are key. Even slight dehydration can make you feel sleepy, says Patricia Bannan, RDN, author of Eat Right When Time is Tight. That’s because a lack of fluids forces your heart to work harder to push oxygen and nutrients through your blood stream, an effort that ends up sapping your verve.

Iced Turmeric Lemonade In a jug, combine 1 litre water with 1 tablespoon turmeric (it boosts energy), the juice of two lemons, and 1 tablespoon maple syrup. Pour over ice. #

Pizza, fries… all the yummy, yet heavy stuff. ‘It’s instinct to reach for these when you’re feeling down,’ says Smith. ‘They temporarily boost serotonin, the neurotransmitter that makes you feel on top of the world.’ But remember, the comedown is a real bummer.

72 COSMOPOLITAN MAY 2018

TIRED

YOU’LL ALWAYS HAVE A PIZZA OUR HEART...

I F YOU’R E ...

WHAT YOU WANT

Your insides are literally screaming for caffeine and sugar, but don’t give in. The pick-me-up provided by that unholy drink duo will fade fast.

YOUR HAPPY SNACK

Good Night Bites Cut two dates in half and remove the pits. Stuff each half with goat cheese, and top with walnuts.


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12 MONTHS FOR JUST $19.99 Visit magshop.com.au/cosdigital or call 136 116 and quote X1801CSD SAVINGS BASED ON SINGLE ISSUE DIGITAL EDITION PRICE OF $2.99. OFFER ENDS JUNE 3RD, 2018. IF YOU DO NOT WANT YOUR INFORMATION PROVIDED TO ANY ORGANISATION NOT ASSOCIATED WITH THIS PROMOTION, PLEASE INDICATE THIS CLEARLY WHEN YOU SUBSCRIBE. SUBSCRIPTION AUTOMATICALLY RENEWS UNLESS CANCELLED. FOR TERMS AND CONDITIONS VISIT MAGSHOP.COM.AU AND FOR OUR PRIVACY NOTICE VISIT BAUER-MEDIA.COM.AU. APPLE, THE APPLE LOGO, iPAD AND iPHONE ARE TRADEMARKS OF APPLE INC., REGISTERED IN THE US AND OTHER COUNTRIES.


What contraception

74 COSMOPOLITAN MAY 2018


body

is right for you? WEIGHT GAIN, MOOD SWINGS, ACNE? STOP HATING ON YOUR BIRTH CONTROL AND FIND YOUR PERFECT MATCH ONCE AND FOR ALL… THERE SEEMS to be a gazillion contraceptive options out there and a ton of conflicting reviews, so it’s hard to know exactly what’s going to work for you and your body. It can take some trial and error to find the right contraceptive method, but never fear, Cosmo’s done all the groundwork for you and spoken to the experts. From hormone-releasing intrauterine devices to the good ol’ condom, here’s your Cosmo guide to all things contraception (just remember, ladies, in order to protect yourself from STIs, you’re still going to need to use a barrier-protection method). > COSMOPOLITAN MAY 2018

75


A HORMONERELEASING IUD – MIRENA

CONTRACEPTIVE INJECTION – DMPA

COPPER IUD

CONDOMS

What is it?

IUD stands for intrauterine device. Made of flexible plastic, the T-shaped device is filled with levonorgestrel and is placed inside the uterus by a healthcare provider. It can last up to five years.

A small plastic device with copper wire wrapped around its stem. Choose from one that lasts for five years or one that lasts 10 years.

Usually a latex or plastic cover for the penis available with a variety of bells and whistles, from flavour to texture and even glow-in-the-dark.

This injection, called Depot Medroxyprogesterone Acetate (DMPA), is similar to progesterone, a hormone produced by the ovaries. Each injection provides protection against pregnancy for 12 weeks.

How it works

The hormone makes the mucus in the cervix thicker so that sperm cannot get into the uterus. It can also sometimes stop your ovaries from releasing an egg.

The copper affects the movement of sperm, stopping it from fertilising the egg, while also preventing the transport of the egg in the fallopian tubes.

THE ‘RUBBER’ PREVENTS SPERM FROM ENTERING THE VAGINA SO IT CAN’T JOIN WITH AN EGG.

It inhibits ovulation by stopping the ovaries from releasing an egg.

Effectiveness

More than 99 per cent.

Between 82 and 98 per cent.

Between 94 and over 99 per cent.

STI Protection Possible side effects 76 COSMOPOLITAN MAY 2018

99%

None.

None.

‘It’s important to know that the IUD involves a small procedure with a local anaesthetic,’ says Dr Deborah Bateson, Medical Director of Family Planning NSW. ‘You can also experience spotting in the first few months.’

‘Your periods tend to be heavier and can last longer as the copper can cause an inflammatory response,’ explains Dr Bateson.

‘Condoms are the only form of contraception that also prevent STIs such as herpes and chlamydia,’ explains Dr Bateson. No side effects, except if you are allergic to latex rubber or the lubricant. COSMO LOVES

MOMENTS CONDOMS

Travel tin (3 pack), $4.59.*

None.

‘The injection is not easily reversible – like removing an IUD – sometimes it can take up to 18 months to get your fertility to come back to normal,’ says Dr Bateson. Weight gain and loss of bone density is also


body

COMPILED BY MORGAN REARDON. ADDITIONAL REPORTING BY SHARI NEMENTZIK. GETTY IMAGES, STOCKSY. *MOMENTSCONDOMS.COM.AU

THE PILL

EMERGENCY CONTRACEPTIVE PILL

CONTRACEPTION IMPLANT

THE NUVARING

THE FEMALE CONDOM

THE PULL-OUT METHOD

Pills taken daily to prevent pregnancy.

Commonly referred to as the ‘morning after pill,’ this tablet can be taken after unprotected sex to prevent pregnancy.

Often called ‘The Rod,’ this implant is a 4cm matchsticksize piece of plastic inserted by a clinician just under the skin of the upper inner arm. It lasts up to three years.

A soft, plastic ring that is inserted into the vagina for three weeks a month, replaced by a new ring after a week-long break.

A polyurethane pouch which is inserted into the vagina before sex. It’s 15cm long with two flexible rings at each end. One of the rings is closed and sits inside the vagina, while the other is open and rests outside.

THE GUY PULLS OUT BEFORE HE EJACULATES DURING SEX.

There are two pills: the combined pill (with oestrogen and progestogen) stops your ovaries from releasing an egg. The progestogen-only (PoP) or ‘mini pill’ makes mucus at the entrance of the uterus thicker so sperm can’t reach the egg.

‘There are two types available. The first, levonorgestrel, stops ovulation up to 72 hours after sex. The second, ulipristal acetate, can be taken up to 120 hours (five days),’ says Dr Bateson.

‘The implant contains a progestogen which is slowly released into the body, which stops ovulation by thickening the mucus in the cervix,’ explains Dr Bateson.

‘Like the pill, the ring contains oestrogen and a progestogen, which stop your ovaries from releasing an egg,’ says Dr Bateson.

Like the male condom, the female condom prevents pregnancy by keeping the sperm from reaching the eggs with a barrier method. Some believe it has the potential to better prevent the spread of HPV as well.

A trickier method, as it’s possible that if he ejaculated earlier in the romp, he could have sperm in the urethra that’s released in his pre-ejaculate, which can get you pregnant.

If taken properly, both can be over 99 per cent effective, but it can drop to 91 per cent if you don’t take the PoP at exactly the same time each day.

It prevents around 85 per cent of pregnancies.

MORE THAN 99 PER CENT.

With perfect use, more than 99 per cent, but can be less effective (91 per cent) in real life if you forget to take the ring out or put it back in.

7995%

While the withdrawal method can be effective (between 78 and 96 per cent), it’s dicey, so we’d steer clear of it.

None.

None.

None.

None.

Female condoms can reduce the risk of STIs.

None.

‘The combined pill creates a much more reliable bleeding pattern and is good for people with acne, while the progestogen-only pill could cause some irregular bleeding,’ says Dr Bateson.

‘There’s a lot of misinformation out there that taking this pill will stop future fertility, but that’s not the case,’ adds Dr Bateson.

Most women have very few, but may experience bloating, mood changes and tender breasts.

‘They can be a bit more expensive than male condoms and harder to find,’ explains Dr Bateson.

Um... you get pregnant. ‘I wouldn’t recommend this method as 40 per cent of men have sperm in their pre-ejaculate, so it’s likely you can still fall pregnant even if does “pull out” before ejaculating,’ says Dr Bateson. #

Can cause irregular bleeding in some women – see your doctor about ways to control this if it happens to you.

For more information, visit Fpnsw.org.au

COSMOPOLITAN MAY 2018

77


AROUND THE WORLD IN 28 PERIODS Ever wondered how different cultures celebrate the arrival of the first period? Well, for the fourth Menstrual Hygiene Day, celebrated on May 28, we went around the world to find out…

MALAYSIA For health reasons, raw eggs and oil have to be consumed on the first day.

BRAZIL The

AUSTRALIA Awkward

ZIMBABWE The aunt

convo with mum and then handed a pack of U By Kotex.

takes on the duty of talking about periods in a private meeting.

SOUTH INDIA Party time

TURKEY A swift slap

underwear are hand-washed by the p-time first-timer.

with the family to mark the move into womanhood.

across the face by an elder to treat the shock!

ISRAEL It’s simple here.

NORTH INDIA No party in the north, but warned to stay out of the kitchen as food will turn bad.

MALAWI Confined to the home for a week and all men and children are banned.

78 COSMOPOLITAN MAY 2018

Italy EVERYONE WITH BLOOD TIES IS NOTIFIED THAT A FAMILY MEMBER HAS BECOME A ‘SIGNORINA’.

JAPAN A rice dish is served at dinner but no one actually verbalises why.

AFGHANISTAN It’s never discussed with family, and teachers take a more active role in educating.

whole community celebrates the girl’s first period.

MACEDONIA Marked

NORWAY It’s a secret

A lick of honey from a teaspoon, then back to normal life.

between mum and daughter. Not even friends get the deets.

USA A celebration cake and chats with mum.

Sri Lanka

THE FAMILY BATHE AWAY THE BLOOD AND THEN THE GIRL IS KEPT IN ISOLATION.


KOREA Periods are totally taboo. There’s hygiene products in the bathroom and no chat.

NEPAL Women have to stay in a dark, confined room until it’s over. Usually the cowshed!

WORDS BY AMY NELMES. GETTY IMAGES

Iceland

MUM BAKES A CAKE AND THEN DECORATES IT IN RED AND WHITE. FIJI A chalk line is drawn and the girl has to step over to see how many days her period will run.

CANADA Some

TAIWAN Lessons about

Canadian women go on a year-long berry cleanse.

steering clear of cold food when the monthly time calls.

Ghana

POLAND They also follow a slap to the face tradition here. Ouch!

BALI Temples and the kitchen are off limits for the ‘impure’.

UNITED KINGDOM Usually a secret chat between mum and daughter, with stealth passing of pads.

A BOILED EGG HAS TO BE EATEN WHOLE AND IF IT BREAKS, THEN IT’S BAD LUCK. YIKES!

CROATIA The arrival of the red wedding is marked with a glass of red wine.

RUSSIA Knickers are hand-washed daily for the first cycle. # COSMOPOLITAN MAY 2018

79


A T S N I E TH TE I L -E

The ! g n i n i a sonal tragram give r e p t u o t Talk ab bodies on Ins at built them fittest workouts th ven have to you the s, you don’t e !) (and ye our living room leave y

9M

K AY L A I T S I N E S

35K A S T R I D S WA N

What she does: Trains celebs like Olivia Munn, while modelling her own fab body at the same time. USP: Arms that look like they were carved by Michelangelo.

80 COSMOPOLITAN MAY 2018

68K N ATA L I E U H L I N G

What she does: Only the world’s biggest Fitstagrammer, who sells out stadiums, she’s penned two bestsellers and toned millions with her Bikini Body guides. USP: Super-quick circuits that incinerate fat.

What she does: Creator of NUFit, the workout used by gold medallists and world champions. USP: Dance cardio mixed with strength training for strong bodies.


body

7

MINS

KAYLA’S HIGH-INTENSITY INTERVAL SESSION A

BEST FOR: Blasting fat. HOW TO DO IT: Set your timer for seven

minutes, and aim to complete the following circuit as many times as you can before it goes off. Then, if you’re up for it, have a quick rest and do another seven minutes. Repeat four times (that’s 28 minutes).

WORDS BY DANIELLE KAM, DANIELLE MCNALLY. STYLING BY MATTHEW PERIDIS. PHOTOGRAPHY BY CARLOTTA MOYES, CHELSEA CHORPENNING, PERRY HAGOPIAN, INSTAGRAM/@KAYLA_ITSINES, INSTAGRAM/@NATALIEUHLING, INSTAGRAM/@ASTRID_SWAN. HAIR BY AARON LIGHT/CELESTINE AGENCY. MAKEUP BY CARISSA, FERRERI, TRACEY MATTINGLY. NAILS BY BARBARA WARNER FOR CHANEL LE VERNIS NAIL COLOUR/CELESTINE AGENCY. PRODUCTION FIRST SHOT PRODUCTIONS

1

REVERSE LUNGE + KNEE LIFT

B

3

Stand with your feet slightly wider than shoulder-width apart. Take a big step back with your left foot, bending both legs to around a 90-degree angle. ● Your front knee should be over your ankle and your back knee hovering just off the floor [A]. ● Straighten to standing, shifting your weight to your right leg and bringing your left knee up to your chest [B]. ● Bring your left leg back down into a reverse lunge. ● Alternate 12 reps per side, for a total of 24 reps each.

B

CROSS MOUNTAIN CLIMBER

Start with both hands on the floor, resting on the balls of your feet. ● Keeping your right foot on the floor, bring your left knee into your chest, diagonally towards your right elbow [A], then return to the starting position. ● Keeping your left foot on the floor, bring your right knee into your chest, towards your left elbow [B], then return to the start. That’s one rep. Do a total of 40.

A A

2

A

B

SNAP JUMP

Start in a standing position, feet slightly wider than shoulderwidth apart. ● Bend at the hips and knees into a crouch and place your hands on the floor in front of your feet [A]. ● Kick both feet backwards to extend your legs behind you, resting on the balls of your feet [B]. ● Jump forward, back towards your hands, keeping feet shoulder-width apart. That’s one rep. Do 20 reps in total.

B

4

SIDE-TO-SIDE CRUNCH

Start flat on your back, knees bent and right foot on the floor. Rest your left ankle below your right knee. ● With your hands behind your ears, slowly lift your head and shoulders off the floor, twisting your torso to the right so that your right elbow touches the floor [A]. ● Then twist to the left to bring your right elbow across your body to your left knee, keeping your knee still [B]. Release your torso back to the right; repeat for 12 reps. COSMOPOLITAN MAY 2018

81


ASTRID’S UPPER-BODY FIX

10 MINS

4

PLANK ROTATORS

With a dumbbell in each hand, get into a high plank. Bend your right elbow to lift the dumbbell to your side [A]. ● Rotate to side plank, balancing on your left arm as you extend your right [B]. ● Reverse, then repeat on the other side. That’s one rep. Wobbly? Start in a plank with your knees bent. In side plank, extend your front leg only. You’ll still be working the abs, but you won’t fall on your face.

BEST FOR: Toning arms and

shoulders. HOW TO DO IT: Do eight reps of each move, rest, then repeat twice more.

A A

B

B

1

BUFFER ON TOP

Stand with your feet wide, left arm in front and right arm by your side. ● Holding a dumbbell in each hand [A], Lift your left arm to shoulder height in front of you and your right arm to shoulder height at the side. ● Rotate them so your left arm is to the side and your right arm is in front [B]. Lower. Reverse the motion to return to start position. That’s one rep.

5 3

2

SUPERWOMAN SHOULDERS

Lie face-down on a mat, arms in front of you and legs behind you. Lift your arms and legs off the mat. ● Rotate arms out to the side and around to the back, clapping your hands above your butt. Reverse to return to start position.

82 COSMOPOLITAN MAY 2018

TRICEPS TO DIE FOR

Stand with your feet wide and arms at your sides, holding a dumbbell in each hand with your palms facing in. ● In a fluid motion, lift your arms out and up until they form a ‘Y’ overhead. Bend your elbows, lowering your wrists behind your head; straighten. That’s one rep. Continue bending and straightening, and kiss goodbye to those wings.

FULL-BODY BURN

Sit with your leg hip-width apart, feet flat on the ground and hands behind you, fingers pointing in. ● Lift your butt so your body is aligned from shoulders to knees. Bend your elbows to do a triceps dip. Straighten. ● Keeping your hips steady, lift your left hand and foot, then set them down again a few centimetres back. Repeat on the opposite side. That’s one rep.


body

20

NATALIE’S ALL-OVER TONER

MINS

A

BEST FOR: All-over sculpting. HOW TO DO IT: Repeat the sequence three times without pausing. NATALIE SAYS: Using your body weight

helps you focus on form, not props – and form is the most important part of a workout.

B

3

B

1

JUMPING LUNGES

Start with your feet together and your knees slightly bent [A]. ● Jump into a lunge with your right leg forward and your left leg back, both forming right angles [B]. ● Immediately jump again, switching your legs to bring your left leg forward and your right leg back. That’s one rep. ● Do 15 in total. Fancy making it harder? Be sure to drive your weight through your front heel to work your glutes. Burns, doesn’t it?

A

POP-UP LIFT

Start in a forearm plank with your shoulders above your elbows [A]. ● Straighten your arms to come up to a high plank, and raise your left leg [B]. Lower your left leg, then raise your right leg. ● Return to the start. That’s one rep. Do 15 in total.

A

B

2

B

180S

With your feet shoulder-width apart, squat down so that your thighs are almost parallel to the ground (or as close as you can manage). ● Touch the floor with your left fingertips [A]. Jump up, raising your left arm above your head and turning 180 degrees [B]. Return to the squat, this time touching the ground with your right fingertips. ● Jump up, raise your arm, and turn 180 degrees back to the start. That’s one rep. Keep going for 15 reps – you got this!

4 A

STAR JACKS

Begin with your feet together, knees slightly bent and arms in front of your chest [A]. ● Jump up, extending your arms and legs to your sides [B]. Land in your start position. That’s one rep. ● Do 15, singing cheerleading songs (if you must). # COSMOPOLITAN MAY 2018

83


BLAK LIVEL very


KE LY

celebrity Blake Lively gets real on feminism, motherhood and ageing in Hollywood

COSMOPOLITAN MAY 2018

85


celebrity

86 COSMOPOLITAN MAY 2018


HER FAMILY IS THE CUTEST!

. y l e iv L e k a l B or f e We’ve got so much tim

INTERVIEW BY HILARY MORGAN/ FEATS PRESS. ADDITIONAL REPORTING BY MORGAN REARDON. GETTY CONTOUR

It’s been over a decade since she first hit our screens as Gossip Girl’s teen socialite Serena van der Woodsen, where we went crazy over her Rapunzel-like locks and incredible wardrobe. But these days, Blake, 30, is just as passionate about feminism as she is fashion. A staunch crusader of women’s rights, you’re more likely to see her stomping the streets at a women’s march than sitting FROW at Paris Fashion Week. And she’s not just doing it for the kudos. She’s investigated sex trafficking for the doco A Path Appears and works with the Child Rescue Coalition, an organisation that uses technology to track down and prosecute child predators. It’s no wonder she’s such a fierce lioness when it comes to her daughters James, three and Ines, one, who she shares with hubby Ryan Reynolds, 41. While Blake was happy to divulge about family life to Cosmo, you won’t find any cute snaps of them on her Instagram. But what you will find, however, is the blonde bombshell making fun of herself, hanging with her Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants co-stars (squeal!) and sharing some super-cute moments with her man. Professionally, Blake’s kicking major #careergoals. Graduating from girly rom-coms to grittier,

more demanding roles, the star’s now stepping behind the camera to produce The Husband’s Secret, an upcoming movie based on a book of the same name by Aussie author Liane Moriarty, the woman behind Big Little Lies. While she’s starring in the film as well, taking on the role of executive producer gives Blake the power to do something very special – employ more women! PSA: When it comes to Blake Lively, do not underestimate her! What has surprised you most about motherhood? Realising that it’s all going to be OK. Before, I remember thinking: “I have no idea what I’m doing! I have a life in my hands and I’m not equipped to do this, because I don’t have the knowledge I need to take care of the most precious, fragile thing in the world – my baby.” It felt like being a passenger on board a plane and being told: “By the way, now you are going to be piloting the plane.” But you figure it out. Family is the most important thing in the world to me, and everything else I do supports that. My personal life has always been my priority.

FROM RULING THE UPPER EAST SIDE IN GOSSIP GIRL...

... TO STARRING IN ACTION THRILLER FILM THE RHYTHM SECTION

What values would you like to pass on to your children? I hope a love of family, because my family has kept me steady – whatever has happened in my life, high and low. They’ve been the constant in my life and when that love is constant, the highs and lows don’t derail you. So I hope to be able to give that. How are you getting anything done – like work – with two small children? It’s tough because when you are looking at your children, they’re laughing and it’s hard to do anything else, but I feel very fortunate to have a job that means I can run between work and my babies. That’s a real gift. You obviously enjoy being a mother... It’s tough when you > COSMOPOLITAN MAY 2018

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get pooped on and barfed on, but having babies is wonderful. Even when you’re exhausted, I just think, “I’m so fortunate.” Do you have a nanny to help? My parents [Ernie and Elaine] are pretty much the nannies! They are the best baby nurses. They raised five kids, so they know what they’re doing. They visit for long periods of time and then they’ll go away and make us beg them to come back (laughs). I think they only leave so they can hear us beg. We’re so lucky to have them. What are your thoughts about ageing, particularly in youthobsessed Hollywood? Right now, I’m really looking forward to getting older. The older I’ve got, the more enriched my life has become – from a great childhood with my family, to moving to New York, getting married and having a family. But ask me in ten years when I get my crow’s feet… or maybe two years – oh my God! (laughs). I don’t know, I have learnt that until you experience something, it’s hard to get on your soapbox and talk about it. Do you think it’s easier for women to have careers, or choose to stay at home, if they can afford to, nowadays? I think being a true feminist means that women can do whatever they want to do now. I don’t believe I have to choose; who says we have to? Women are not limited to thinking: “We have to do the kind of jobs that men are doing, or fulfil roles in society

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‘I THINK BEING A TRUE FEMINIST MEANS THAT WOMEN CAN DO WHATEVER THEY WANT TO DO NOW. I DON’T BELIEVE I HAVE TO CHOOSE; WHO SAYS WE HAVE TO?’


celebrity

that men are filling,” because that’s just the same problem, but a different iteration of it. Women can do whatever stimulates them most, but also being able to juggle whatever you want to do is important. It is great to be a mother and a professional and a wife and a daughter, but to choose only one of those things is also incredible. Now we have the power to make our own choices. Are things changing for the better in Hollywood for women? I think they are. I think there’s a little bit of an uprising for women right now and that’s important because we perpetuate it as much as anyone by thinking, “Oh, these are the opportunities that are out there, this is how it is.” When you learn that you can create your own opportunities and it doesn’t have to be this way, it changes everything. Does it upset or annoy you when people try to compare you to other actresses who’ve launched lifestyle businesses, such as Gwyneth Paltrow and Jessica Alba? I find it slightly misogynistic when they try to put us together because it makes a good story. I get offended by the generalisation. You enjoy cooking... What’s your favourite family dinner? I love going to Mario Batali’s market and Eataly in New York, which is a very fancy place to go shopping for dinner. I love getting fresh meats and vegetables and pasta and then making my own buffet out of it all at home. I don’t have a “go-to” meal. That’s what I love about cooking – whatever you’ve got in the fridge you take it and go: “What can I make out of this?” So it’s always different. I make up a “MacGyver [makeshift] meal”

using anything I have, like a cheese pasta and vegetables. Sometimes those meals work out and sometimes they don’t. You’re also great at baking! I enjoy decorating cakes – I love making a piece of art that I get to consume. It’s not only the food you’re tasting that’s great – the presentation is beautiful. I love making something chocolaty and hot like a soufflé, and then I’ll add something cool like a fresh mint ice-cream. It sounds like you love being a traditional mother as well as a career woman? Well, I wouldn’t define myself as that because it sounds a bit like a 1950s commercial! I love being a woman. I love my kids to cook with me, but if they want to race cars, that’s fine too! I like being a woman and everything that means for me. For other women, that means something else. You seem to be taking on many different roles these days – how do you pick the right role? It’s just really character to character, and which is the most multi-faceted and challenging. In A Simple Favor, I get to play so many different women in one person because she is a person who is really such a chameleon. In The Rhythm Section, I have a great [narrative] arc as a woman who’s living on the streets and is addicted to heroin as a prostitute – not in any way is it glamourised. These are women who end up overcoming life and reclaiming themselves and I love that. # COSMOPOLITAN MAY 2018

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‘How I get through Mother’s Day without mum’ Zara Zubeidi’s had to navigate her twenties without her number one support and best friend, but she’s found an inner-strength she didn’t know she had... 90 COSMOPOLITAN MAY 2018


‘MUMMY, WHAT WILL WE DO WHEN YOU DIE?’ It’s a question no daughter should ever have to ask, but on August 21 2012, it became a reality for me when my mum Joanna, at the age of 53, was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. Just one month prior, I had celebrated my 21st birthday, and like many young starry-eyed women, was looking forward to the future – my first job in the big wide world, meeting The One and making mum a grandmother. But that dream came to an abrupt halt within the space of nine months when, after a short battle, mum passed away. This year will mark my fifth Mother’s Day without her – and while I’ve managed to accept the fact she isn’t coming back, navigating my twenties without a maternal figure has been an ongoing struggle. I lost count of the number of times I was told, ‘You’re doing so well,’ over the past five years. After we said goodbye, I threw myself into landing my dream role as an entertainment journalist, not only as a way to distract myself from what had happened, but as a way to make her proud, as she knew how much I wanted to work in the industry in the lead up to her death. But behind closed doors, I was falling apart. I felt numb. My relationship with my then-boyfriend broke down as we both realised the only person who could make me

happy was no longer here. I became withdrawn and most of all, angry. I couldn’t understand how something so terrible could happen to somebody so full of life, and how my brothers – the youngest just nine years old at the time – and I would cope. As mum’s only daughter, I took it upon myself to step into her shoes by giving my family the support they needed, ignoring my need to grieve in the process. I put on a brave face and tried to explain to my little brother that he’d never see mum again, but that she still lived on in spirit. Yet despite my attempt at staying strong, I fell into a downward spiral of anxiety and depression. Her passing also took its toll on my relationships, and I’d find myself feeling isolated again and again as I yearned to fill that void she’d left behind. Yet, as much as I never thought I’d get to this point, here I am, five years later, a much stronger person. Yes, it’s been tough – at times, unbearable – not being able to speak to my best friend when I needed her most. But it’s taught me so much about myself and inspired me to do things I never would’ve done otherwise. Last year, I quit my job in the UK, travelled the world and moved to Australia. From witnessing the magnificent sunrise at Adam’s Peak in Sri Lanka, jumping out of a plane over Lake Taupo in New Zealand to marking Mother’s Day with a bungee jump in Cairns, I began to adopt mum’s zest for life by saying ‘yes’ to every opportunity. It’s during

IMAGES SUPPLIED

‘I fell into a downward spiral of depression’

HOW TO COPE WITH LOSING A LOVED ONE Everyone says ‘time’s a healer,’ but grief can last a lifetime and there’s no right way to grieve, just ways that may help you cope. ‘It helps to express our feelings,’ says Lianna Champ, author of How to Grieve Like a Champ. ‘Find someone who will listen without telling you what to do, or how you should be feeling.’ As for losing a loved one, it’s normal to feel angry. ‘Being confronted with death when you’re forming your perspectives on life is breathtakingly hard,’ says Charlene Neuhoff, senior psychologist and mindfulness practitioner at The Indigo Project. ‘We spend a large chunk of our lives learning how to endure suffering in an honourable way. Losing a parent so young forces you to start this work early.’ If you know someone who’s lost a loved one, it’s important to recognise grief isn’t measurable. ‘People often feel the need to stop talking about their loss after the one to two-year mark,’ says Neuhoff. ‘This delayed isolation can be painful. Let them know they can talk to you at any time, even if it’s years down the track.’

those indescribable moments where I can feel her energy the most. I recently came across a beautiful passage from Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh in his book No Death, No Fear, who, like me, considered the loss of his mother ‘a serious misfortune’ until he discovered the connection he had with her through his encounters with nature. ‘Together my mother and I were leaving footprints in the damp soil,’ he writes. ‘All I had to do was look at the palm of my hand, feel the breeze on my face or the earth under my feet to remember that my mother is always with me.’ Gazing up at the night sky after hiking around Uluru last month, and seeing a shooting star for the very first time, I know mum and I are still together – and always will be. Mother’s Day is never an easy time for me, but I’d rather have had those 21 amazing years with her than none at all. #

A MOTHER’S LOVE: BABY ZARA AND HER MUM, JOANNA IN 1990.

For 24/7 crisis support, please call Lifeline Australia 13 11 14. If life is in danger, call 000. COSMOPOLITAN MAY 2018

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I DID A

DIGITAL

DETOX…

AND I Self-confessed phone addict Morgan Reardon unplugs for seven days. Here’s how she went…


* GLOBENEWSWIRE.COM/NEWS-RELEASE/2017/05/18/987607/0/EN/SMARTPHONE-OBSESSION-GROWS-WITH-25-OF-MILLENNIALS-SPENDINGMORE-THAN-5-HOURS-PER-DAY-ON-THE-PHONE.HTML. PHOTOGRAPHY BY PAUL SUESSE/BAUER. HAIR AND MAKEUP BY RENEE SAYED. GETTY IMAGES

Monday

I LOVE MY PHONE. I REALLY DO. WITH THE PUSH OF A FEW BUTTONS, I’M TRANSPORTED TO A BAR IN LONDON WITH MY FRIENDS VIA FACETIME, IT LETS ME ORDER A CUTE NEW DRESS FOR A SATURDAY NIGHT OUT, pre-order a poke bowl to arrive just when I get home from work, swipe right for a cute guy, it even lets me know when my bus is running five minutes late, allowing me those few extra moments to cram a piece of avo toast in my gob. But even I have to admit, I’ve become seriously addicted to it. Whether it’s listening to podcasts during my morning workout or scrolling through news sites while waiting for tardy mates to turn up to lunch – I’m constantly on my phone. But even I was shocked when I realised just how much. For one week I installed the app Movement (free) on my phone which tracks your usage down to the minute, including how many times you pick up your phone. The results were shocking. On average, I spent three and a half hours on my phone every. single.

day, picking it up every 11 minutes. If I keep this up, the app estimated that I would spend 10.8 years of my life on it. How embarrassing! What’s worse, I’m not alone. According to a study, nearly half of millennials look at their phone more than 50 times a day, while 25% spend more than five hours on them daily*. So in an effort to curb my bad behaviour and claw back some of my life, I’ve decided a detox is in order. The rules are simple – for one whole week I must: Delete all social media apps. Leave phone in bag/out of sight for all meetings/meals/ get-togethers. Keep phone out of sight during commute. Don’t check work emails on my phone or don’t carry it around with me. Texts and phone calls are to be keep to the bare minimum.

When I wake up, I automatically check my phone and see a stream of messages that have rolled in overnight from my mates in different time zones. Usually I’d dedicate at least 10 solid minutes to replying to them and then replying again, but this morning I simply answer once and let it be. Next, I see tons of notifications from Instagram and Facebook – I’m a serial meme tagger, so I tend to get it back tenfold. I’m literally itching to open them but instead I delete both of the apps from my phone. It hurts – a lot. At work, I obey the rules and leave my phone tucked away in my bag and out of sight. The first hurdle hits me when I realise I’ve forgotten to wish a good friend happy birthday because I didn’t have the Facebook app to remind me – oops!

Tuesday This morning I have a particularly long commute to an off-site work meeting. I would love to listen to a podcast to pass the time but I can’t, per the rules. Instead, I look out the window and people-watch, which is actually pretty fun. I even spot several babes en route. Later on in the day, a PR company brings adorable puppies to a park near the Cosmo office for us to play with (I know, dream job, right?). While everyone is busy snapping photos with the pups and uploading them to Instagram, I can’t help but feel a little jealous. I want a cute photo of me with an even cuter puppy! > COSMOPOLITAN MAY 2018

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Wednesday I’m finding out pretty quickly that being a social person and trying to do a digital detox is almost impossible. I’m going to a movie premiere tonight and the friends I’ve invited to come along keep texting me and asking questions – which is absolutely understandable – but when you’re meant to keep your phone out of sight, it makes it really hard to coordinate a meet-up. Because I’m the kind of person who always writes back to people straight away, I worry I’m coming off as short or rude. The other major revelation I’ve had is noticing how much time everyone else spends on their phone. While watching a group of friends having a conversation, I notice at least two of the five are scrolling through their phone while someone is telling a story. Note to self: When detox is over, never ever do this.

Thursday This morning, I literally bounce out of bed – ever since I started this detox, I’m sleeping so much better. I guess scrolling through Instagram until midnight isn’t so good for you! Another positive: not dedicating the morning replying to messages means I can sleep in longer – win! I’m also way more productive at work. Usually if I’m struggling to finish a piece I’m working on, I’ll scroll through my phone for a few minutes to reset, but lately it’s become more of a bad habit than helpful. Just when I start to feel super smug, I hit another roadblock. At the end of a meeting with a publicist, she suggests we follow each other on

FRIDAY Instagram. Making connections with other media and people in creative industries is a super important part of my job, so I feel like a real wanker when I can’t follow her back. Later that day, I get a notification that a cute guy I’ve been casually talking to on Tinder has messaged me a couple of times, but because I can’t use apps, I can’t reply, so he’s going to think I’m not interested anymore. Great! #firstworldproblems

‘Instead of calm, I feel isolated and disconnected’

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I wake up to a stream of messages from a friend overseas who’s received some sad news. I don’t think twice before jumping on the phone and having a 40-minute conversation with her in an effort to cheer her up. I know I’m not supposed to, but friends come first and this is a digi emergency. If I’d been responding to her text messages more throughout the week like I usually would’ve, I might have sensed something was up. I feel like a crap friend. Later on that day I discover I’ve missed two other friends’ birthdays during the week! Ugh... just another two days to go!


THE VERDICT PREVIOUS WEEK PHONE USAGE: 49 HOURS, 23 MINUTES. DETOX WEEK PHONE USAGE: FIVE HOURS, SEVEN MINUTES. I have to be honest and say the moment this detox was over I reinstalled all of my apps. But I’ve learnt something – I’d become far too reliant on my phone and this detox made me realise that. I don’t know if I’d recommend going cold turkey like I did, but it’s important to find some sort of balance. For example, at lunches and get-togethers, unless I’m expecting an important

THIS IS THE PART WHEN I BREAK FREE... FROM MY TECH ADDICTION!

Sunday

Saturday I decide to embrace the whole unplugging situation and have a ‘me’ day. I start and finish a whole book, practise meditation and go for a long walk around Sydney Harbour. As much as I want to say I loved it, I honestly felt quite bored without the accompaniment of music or one of my favourite crime podcasts. If I needed proof that a full digi black-out is no good, it’s confirmed when one of my best mates, who lives interstate, messages to ask if I’m OK because I’ve been so quiet all week. Eek! My lack of social media presence and texting has

call, the phone should not be on the table – it’s not a bunch of flowers, it’s a device and its place is in my bag. Another thing – it’s OK to not reply right that second. Instead, I should wait until I have the time to respond properly. While I’ve realised that not having my phone on me isn’t going to kill me, I’m not going to be swapping my iPhone out for a simple brick anytime soon.

people thinking I’m depressed! Another thing I’m realising is that I genuinely miss seeing my friends smiling faces on Instagram. I know we only share our best moments on there, but it makes me happy seeing my mates – here in Sydney and around the world – grinning as they tuck into a giant icecream cone, sunning themselves on some magnificent beach or just looking silly with their friends at a house party. Instead of calm and serene, I’m feeling more and more isolated and disconnected from society.

After yesterday’s downer, I’m feeling more positive today. I remind myself that the whole point of this experiment is to challenge myself, so it’s normal to have a meltdown over my lack of phone use – and let’s be honest, this story would be super boring if I just cruised through the week without a single mishap. I head out for brekkie and leave my phone at home – and surprisingly, I don’t even miss it! That afternoon, I head to a cool music festival. When I see everyone else getting their phones out to film, I feel pretty damn proud of myself for just living in the moment and embracing it instead of wasting time trying to get the perfect shot. OK, so if I wasn’t on a digi detox, I probably would’ve been one of ‘those people’, but small victories, guys. # COSMOPOLITAN MAY 2018

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From dubiously crusty blankets to mid-air engine fires, Lizzie Pook speaks to flight attendants to reveal what really happens at 35,000 ft...

‘CHICKEN OR FISH, SIR? OR A QUICKIE?’

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‘FIRST CLASS IS USUALLY THE LEAST ROWDY CABIN – BUT ONE COUPLE WERE SO DRUNK THEY TOOK ALL THEIR CLOTHES OFF AND RAN DOWN THE AISLES NAKED.’ THIS, ACCORDING TO MANDY SMITH, AN EX-VIRGIN AIRWAYS FLIGHT ATTENDANT WITH 10 YEARS’ EXPERIENCE, IS PRETTY STANDARD FOR A LONG-HAUL FLIGHT. As you sit there, mulling over where to jet off to for this year’s summer vacay, entire casts of flight attendants are currently pointing out the emergency exits to those passengers who haven’t nodded off yet. And here’s the twist: not only are they judging you as much as you’re judging your fellow passengers, but they really have seen it all. Because it’s not just our dietary willpower that goes out of the window the minute the cabin doors close – it’s apparently our inhibitions, and, on occasion, natural human decency, too. Women (and men) like Smith (pictured throughout), who wrote a whistle-blowing book about her time in the air (it’s called Cabin Fever, and should go straight to the top of your holiday reading list), get to see some hilarious, and sometimes horrific, things in the line of duty. And that doesn’t just go for the passengers – it goes for the crew, too. Ever wanted to know what really goes on behind that little navy curtain? Well, you’re about to find out... > COSMOPOLITAN MAY 2018

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CLASS WARS YOU KNOW THOSE URBAN FLIGHT MYTHS about how dressing up for the check-in desk can help you get an upgrade? Not true. You can be as smart as you like, but those that work for airlines can spot you coming a mile off. The major giveaway? Your jewellery and watch. ‘I find diamonds are always the giveaway for women, and a gentleman’s watch can tell you how wealthy they are, even when they have their sleep suit on,’ says Smith. Frequent Business flyers, she says, are usually the easiest to deal with. ‘They’ve had treatments and food in the club lounge and just want to come on board and sleep in their fully flat beds. But you can spot an Upper-Class first-timer a mile off, ordering everything off the menu and staying up all night at the bar.’ There’s a particular breed of passenger, however, that some attendants just dread serving. ‘Premium-Economy passengers are by far the worst,’ says Smith. ‘Upper Class just get on quietly and go to sleep, but the Premiums get hammered. They just expect free booze and think their slightly more expensive seat buys them the right to be rude.’ Acts of rudeness by passengers rarely go unpunished. ‘Midway through one of my flights, a Business-Class passenger was incredibly rude to the staff, speaking in a belittling way and being really difficult,’ says Hayley Loft*, 32, who works for a well-known airline. ‘So when it came to breakfast, my flight manager prepared this guest’s food, but made sure he

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MANDY SMITH SEARCHES FOR A POLITE PREMIUMECONOMY PASSENGER.

‘Passenger rudeness rarely goes unpunished’

rubbed the omelette around the waste water outlet [a sort of liquid bin down which we would tip all leftover alcohol, soft food and coffee]. He then served it up to him with a smile.’ Sometimes, this rudeness can escalate to something more physical. ‘I’ve had staff who’ve been dragged from one end of the cabin to the other by passengers,’ says Smith. And again, it’s often not those in the cheap seats at the back that are the worst offenders. ‘It’s inevitably because they’ve had too much to drink – wine is the most lethal – and mostly it’s down to a mixture of sleeping tablets and alcohol.’

And what about famous people, you ask? Well, celebrities will often be escorted door-todoor in private shuttles, attended to at private check-ins and escorted onto the aircraft either very early or very late. Cabin crew are instructed to play it cool, even with the most famous of passengers – but it doesn’t always work out like that. ‘On one flight to LA, my colleague, Laura, and I heard a coat cupboard rattling,’ says Smith. ‘She was puzzled as she’d locked it a while ago. So she strode over and gave it a push; it burst open and out stomped Austin Powers star Verne Troyer, clutching a leather jacket angrily


*NAMES HAVE BEEN CHANGED. ** A WALL STREET JOURNAL INVESTIGATION. ***ACCORDING TO TRAVELMATH.COM/FEATURE/AIRLINE-HYGIENE-EXPOSED. PHOTOGRAPHY BY ANTONIO PETRONZIO. HAIR AND MAKEUP BY AMI PENFOLD AT LHA REPRESENTS, USING NARS COSMETICS AND AVEDA

in his fist. She’d only gone and locked him in! Thankfully, we saw him five minutes later, laughing and regaling other First-Class passengers with the story at the bar.’ While most First-Class passengers drink their champagne quietly and catch up on their beauty sleep, celebrities can sometimes be the exceptions that prove the rule. ‘On my friend’s flight, a famous girl-band member got wasted, and one of the crew had to unlock the toilet from outside, haul her off the floor, pull her undies back up and carry her back to her seat,’ says Loft.

THE MILE-HIGH CLUB IF THE ANTICS OF THE PASSENGERS ARE BAD, the stuff the crew get up to (yes, while casually asking if you want chicken or fish) is even more unrestrained by comparison. ‘Our male flight attendants had a points system for sleeping with different staff members,’ says Smith. ‘They’d get a red tag for shagging a junior, a white tag for sleeping with an in-flight beauty therapist and a brown tag if they’d had anal sex with anyone.’ On-board sex was rife, too. ‘The crew often popped into the Premium-Economy loos for a quickie,’ says Smith. ‘It’s the most spacious toilet on an Airbus A340.’ According to Jenny Cole*, a 28-year-old flight attendant for a European-based airline, this sort of thing isn’t limited to the loos. ‘I know a couple who are both flight attendants,’ she says. ‘They ended up playing drinking games with their team at a

stop-over, and were given a dare that had to be carried out on the plane the next day. She had to give him a blowjob before the passengers started to board, then keep a mouthful of semen and walk up and down the plane as people were taking their seat. Things like that are more common than you might think.’ And it’s not just the crew that are at it. ‘Passengers do stuff under the free blankets,’ says Smith. ‘I saw a man “entertaining himself ” under his once. He thought we couldn’t see him because it was dark, so my friend walked up and left a box of tissues beside him – just so he knew we were aware of what he was doing.’

BRACE YOURSELF DEBAUCHERY AND DODGY DEALINGS ASIDE, there is a more serious side to life in the air. It’s easy to forget that your crew are the only things standing between you and a life-and-death situation. ‘On one of my flights, during a rough patch of turbulence over the Atlantic, the toilet alarm bell sounded,’ says Smith. ‘In training we’re told this means someone is in difficulty. We heard a crying sound and when we pushed open the door, we saw a woman perched on the toilet, covered in blood. She was rocking back and forth and whimpering like an injured animal. There were bloody handprints on the cubicle walls. She’d had a miscarriage. It’s still one of the most shocking things I’ve seen in the air.’ Then there are those who simply don’t make it off the plane. ‘If a passenger dies in the air, there’s not actually much we can do,’ says Samantha Frank*, 25, who works for an international airline. ‘The procedure is to place

ALL ABOARD FOLLOW THESE TIPS WHEN YOU NEXT JET OFF...

 DO Bring hand sanitiser

An investigation showed that, on average, airlines only cleaned their blankets once every 30 days. Unless they’re visibly soiled, the blankets are just re-issued in new plastic packaging.**

DON’T Drink the tea

You’ll never see a flight attendant doing this – they know the water comes from an on-board tap, sourced from the plane’s tank, and that (often stagnant) water can be revolting. According to a 2004 study of 158 planes, 13% of them had coliform bacteria in their water. ***

 DO Wipe your tray table down

The most germ-ridden place on a plane? Your tray table, which has more than EIGHT TIMES the amount of germs per square centimetre than the flush button on the toilet. The toilets get cleaned – but there’s rarely time to wipe the tables.

DON’T Watch sad movies

Avoid Marley & Me like the plague. Studies have shown that spending time at altitude can increase negative emotions and affect people’s ability to deal with stress.

the body in an empty row with a seat belt on. But if that’s not available, they just remain in their seat – we’re not allowed to cover them with a blanket as it would draw more attention. We’re told to make it look like they’re sleeping. A passenger can’t technically die in the air, or be pronounced dead by a flight attendant either – they’ll still legally be “alive” until we hit the ground and a doctor comes on board.’ That, believe it or not, isn’t even the worst thing that can happen in the air. ‘The worst thing that could happen on a plane is a fire, which happened on one of my flights to Miami, when an engine caught alight,’ says Smith. ‘I knew something was up when the flight service manager came up and asked us to “assemble in galley two” – that’s always code for a massive problem.’ There’s also something fairly important you should be paying attention to in the safety videos. ‘If your oxygen mask drops down from above your passenger seat, put it on IMMEDIATELY,’ says Frank. ‘Although the oxygen lasts about 15 minutes, plenty of time to reach a safe altitude, you only have roughly 30 seconds to put the oxygen mask on before losing consciousness – when they say you should help yourself before helping others, you should definitely listen.’ So next time you put in your headphones before you’ve even done up your seat belt, realise that the couple from row E have been gone for a suspiciously long time or, hell, notice your omelette tastes slightly... odd – remember: there’s much more going on on-board than meets the eye. # COSMOPOLITAN MAY 2018

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Desperately Seeking a Squad Moving towns can be tough. So Daisy Buchanan goes the extra mile to find herself a new crew

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I AM A LOSER. A COMPLETE LOSER. TEN MINUTES AGO, I HAD A WHOLE DIFFERENT SET OF LABELS FOR MYSELF – AUTHOR, JOURNALIST, WIFE, SISTER, GELATO OBSESSIVE, LATE-’90S HIP-HOP ENTHUSIAST – BUT NOW, SITTING ALL BY MYSELF, I’M SIMPLY A DESPERATE IDIOT. I’M IN A COFFEE SHOP THAT’S NORMALLY BUSTLING WITH PEOPLE, BUT TODAY IT’S EERILY QUIET. I STIR MY TEA AND STARE OUT AT THE BEACH. IT’S A BLEAK, WINDSWEPT DAY, BUT THE VIEW OUT OF THE WINDOW MAKES ME FEEL SLIGHTLY MORE CHEERFUL THAN THE ONE THAT SURROUNDS ME – I CAN SEE NOTHING BUT EMPTY CHAIRS. I FEEL LIKE THEY’RE GLARING AT ME, GLOATING OVER MY LONELINESS. For the past two weeks, I’ve been covering my local area with flyers. I ordered leaflets online announcing that I was new to town, asking random people if they wanted to makefriendswithdaisy@gmail. com. I left them at bars and cafés, my gym, my local supermarket and even a retirement home. And I couldn’t just sneak in, pin them up and dash out again. I needed to ask permission. Which involved pushing my shoulders back, marching up to the till and saying, ‘Hello, can I put this up? I’m trying to make new friends!’ Thankfully, no one turned me down. Probably out of pity, but hey, I’ll take what I can. The emails, after a few days and frantic tab refreshing, began to trickle in, leading me here, waiting in this coffee shop for the four women who a) replied and b) didn’t sound like they would try to lure me into their car and then murder me in the woods.

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This might sound like an odd project for a 32-year-old married woman to take on. For 10 years, my social life took care of itself. There were always more things to do than days in the week; my evenings and weekends were rarely devoid of plans. But often things didn’t work out how I would have liked. A lot of the time I made plans for brunches in advance, and watched as my friends found reasons to cancel. I drank wine alone in bars when everyone else was late because they got stuck at work, and ate dinner alone when they left early because they had more work the next day. ‘Having friends’ was the last thing on an uncheckable list, with ‘batch-cook dinner for the week’ and ‘order toothbrush heads’. This is one of the reasons why I moved. I adore my old friends, but I was desperate to get out of the frenetic, frustrating big-city catch-up loop. I’d had this image in my head before I’d moved of the

people I might meet. That those frantic drinks, with one eye on the clock and the other on our work emails, would be replaced with walks by the ocean, wild swims and bottomless cups of tea. But my existing friendships took up to a decade to cultivate. Here I was, in a new place with a mission to start over – but how? Most of the people in my life so far had come about from those moments that are almost like instant sticky glue for friendships – being thrown together in the playground, university halls or a strip-lit office. Moments that, now I’m in my thirties and working from home, have passed for me. Was it even possible to make new friends now? Because I’m painfully predictable, at first I turned to the one friend who almost never


‘IF IT’S IN A MUG, THEY’LL THINK IT’S TEA,’ DAISY THOUGHT SMUGLY.

WITH RETIRED TEACHER LINDA.

lets me down – my phone. After all, technology helps me to order takeaways and track down discounted designer threads – surely there’s an app for finding friends? Luckily for me, it turns out there are several. I discovered that Bumble has a BFF feature and connected with Hannah*, who is just a couple of train stops away. She signed up because she’s new to the area, and her partner is away for work during the week. ‘You’re my first match on here!’ she exclaimed. ‘Everyone around here seems to be in established friendship groups and I’m a bit nervous of going over and introducing myself at pubs and cafés. If only it was as easy as school, when you’d just go up to people and say, “Hello, be my friend!’”

Hence my flyers, and my Sunday afternoon sitting alone waiting for someone, anyone, to come and say hi. I suggested meeting in a coffee shop overlooking the beach, dotted with slouchy brown leather couches and run by a woman called Bernie. Bernie was actually the first ‘friend’ I made on this quest – when I popped in to ask if I could leave some flyers on her counter, she suggested I use her shop as a meeting point. At around 150cm, and of a similar age to my mum, she’s a reassuring presence as she hovers behind the counter. By the time Kate, a petite blonde in a cute bomber jacket and jeans, arrives, I’m jangling with so much nervous energy I could probably charge my own phone. ‘HELLO, THANK

‘Was it even possible to make new friends now?’

YOU SO MUCH FOR COMING, WHAT CAN I GET YOU?’ I yell. Before she can reply, she’s joined by another girl – well, woman, in her early forties, looking like a grown-up version of Anna from The OC – with an icy grey-blonde crop, leopard-print shoes and leather leggings. She says hello and I envelope her into a panicked, sweaty hug. Her soft accent tells me that she’s Kit, a Canadian who emailed me saying she was also new to the area. Shortly after, she’s followed by a woman in a paisley maxi, with shiny chestnut hair – this is Charlotte, who’s closer to my age and has a similar career – working freelance in the fashion industry. Finally, in breezes Abby – she’s so tall I have to strain my neck to look at her. ‘Sorry, I’m always late and covered in dog hair!’ she laughs. She runs a kennels and dog-walking service, and has a phone full of adorable pictures to show us, which we cluster round to ‘ooh’ and ‘aah’ at. I’m shocked by how easy this feels. A customer in > COSMOPOLITAN MAY 2018

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the café would see us and assume we were a gang of great mates, not four women who had only just been introduced to each other. Everyone starts to swap emails and plans to stay in touch and I almost want to weep. My new friends are making friends. After that, I’m hooked on the sheer thrill of new friendships. And I find that word has spread – Lucy, who’s a makeup artist and confidence coach, gets in touch, as does Charlie, a painter. My diary begins to fill up. I spend afternoons sipping peppermint tea with Charlie, and my evenings drinking prosecco with Kit, Lucy and Abby, who all bring along other people for me to meet. There’s Eleanor, who’s in her forties and wins me over as soon as she tells me a story about trying to impress a date in a restaurant during a trip to Mexico and falling into a water feature. Soon, we’re competing to work out who would win World’s Clumsiest Person. The women I know back in the city are those I met at university when I came to study here. As the years went on, I added others to the mix: colleagues old and new, friends of friends, my husband’s friends and their partners. I’ve spent 10 years sewing a cosy friendship quilt that’s incredibly comforting but is also getting worn and frayed. Zoe, one of my closest friends, lives in LA now. Others have had babies and their lives have taken a whole other gorgeous direction. Their priorities have changed: there are sleep schedules and early rises, so nights out that were once plentiful are now few and far between.

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DAISY’S SUBTLE APPROACH WINS OVER CHARLOTTE AND BERNIE.

BONDING WITH LOCAL ARTIST CHARLIE.


KIT, LUCY, DAISY AND ABBY DO LIKE TO SELFIE BESIDE THE SEASIDE.

WORDS BY DAISY BUCHANAN. PHOTOGRAPHY BY LIZ GREGG

STYLING IT OUT WITH FASHION FREELANCER CHARLOTTE.

And that’s the case for all of us, really, whether we have children or not, because everyone is so overwhelmingly busy. I don’t want to lose them completely, but I’m not the same person I was 10 years ago. I’ve had multiple careers, partners and homes. And that’s the one common thread I notice among this new group of people: their identity has somehow shifted recently. Two have just gone through a break-up, one has a new baby, the others have set up businesses – so they reached out, as being with near-strangers allows them to stretch into their new selves, try them on for size. Because of this, I forge relationships with them all quickly. I tell them about the traumatic and triumphant

moments of my life and they tell me theirs – they don’t need to have been by my side throughout to understand them. A couple of weeks after my initial meeting, I receive a text from Linda, a friend of Bernie’s, who fancies going for coffee. ‘I might be a bit too advanced in years to be your friend: I’m 60,’ her message reads – so when I arrive, I almost miss the siren with silver-blonde hair, bright red lips and white trainers encrusted in diamanté. Linda is a retired English teacher and we spend two hours chatting about everything from sex to podcasts. We’ve even both completed stand-up comedy courses. ‘Everyone told me not to come, they said you’d be a weirdo!’ she giggled. ‘But when

‘I’m hooked on the thrill of finding new friendships’

you get to my age, you know that if something has piqued your curiosity, it’s always better to go for it – life is boring otherwise!’ The thing is, she’s right. And after meeting this dynamic bunch of women (and one man) – from completely different generations, circumstances and parts of the world – I’ve realised something: that the saying ‘friends are the family we pick for ourselves’ is rarely true. For the first part of our lives, our friends are inherited, they’re people who are similar to us: they have the same jobs or same friends in common. They have the same political values and opinions. We find ourselves in an echo chamber – and that can feel hard to break out of. Had I not moved somewhere new, I probably wouldn’t have managed either. I used to feel sad and sentimental that I’d lost some friends over the years. But this experiment has shown me that it’s been holding me back. I’ve now known these women for a matter of months, but I feel like they’ve taught me so much in that time. If we only keep the friends we are ‘given’ and never reach out and try to meet others, we’re restricting our growth. And if you’re unsure of how to make new ones? Take heed: all you have to do is ask. # COSMOPOLITAN MAY 2018

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The Red Zone 106 COSMOPOLITAN MAY 2018


Welcome to The Red Zone, aka ‘O-Week’, the most dangerous week for young women in Australia. Shari Nementzik investigates the hazing culture at our universities

There are 1 in 8 attempted or completed rapes or sexual assaults during THIS week.

‘I felt degraded and vulnerable as I stood there with my top off, while a group of drunken older students yelled abusive comments at us, like, “You’re a piece of sh*t” and referred to us as “bitches”.’ Lucy*, 19, had just moved into college at a prestigious university when she was put through a series of humiliating hazing rituals. She moved interstate from a small country town to study a Bachelor of Arts and was looking forward to what she was told – time and time again – would be ‘the best years of her life’. ‘I was excited to make new friends, explore this great city I had just moved to and also to learn,’ she tells Cosmo. ‘I was also nervous, but I think that’s natural when you’re starting something new, especially away from family and friends. However, I was promised I’d be in a nurturing environment living on campus with other students in the college. I deserved to feel safe and supported; I felt neither. While I was asleep in my room during my first night in the college, I was woken up at 3am by loud knocking and older students yelling for us [the first-year students; “freshers”] to meet in a common area immediately. > COSMOPOLITAN MAY 2018

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In a daze, I put on some jeans and a T-shirt and went downstairs with the other students. In a common area, we were surrounded by very drunk, older students – male and female – and they forced us to drink alcohol from a bottle they passed all of us. I’m not sure what was in it, but it tasted awful and went straight to my head, so I started feeling woozy. One of the other girls started choking on it, but they kept forcing her to drink more until she vomited. The older male students then demanded we take our tops off. When we didn’t do it, they yelled derogatory remarks like, “Look at this fresh meat,” at us, while ripping our T-shirts open. A girl next to me was wearing a dress and they unzipped it off her. She was standing there in her underwear and bra, shaking. There was nothing fun about it.’

and unacceptable reality. ‘A lot of hazing practices are focused around alcohol,’ says co-author of the report and End Rape on Campus ambassador, Anna Hush. ‘New students are pressured into drinking large quantities of alcohol, and that’s the foundation for other degrading practices. We see people’s clothes being removed without their consent, students pressured into participating in sexual activities; things that really lay the groundwork for a culture of sexual assault to flourish in these institutions.’

‘Students are pressured into sexual activities’

The Red Zone Shockingly, Lucy’s story is far from uncommon. In fact, hazing – an initiation ceremony involving often humiliating and dangerous rituals during Orientation Week – is commonplace at Australian universities. And more often than not, sexual assaults are at the sinister heart of it. A recent investigation into sexual violence and hazing in residential colleges has blown the lid on decades of bullying, misogyny and abuse. It’s been called ‘The Red Zone Report’ and that’s because there’s a spike in the number of sexual and physical assaults every year during O-Week – a frightening

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‘I was drugged and raped at college’ Katie*, now 23, was raped during O-Week after she was forced to consume copious amounts of alcohol during her college ‘initiation’. ‘I kept saying, “No, I want to go to my bed, let me sleep,” but that didn’t stop him. I didn’t have the strength to try push him off; my limbs felt like jelly and my head was spinning. Just a few hours earlier, I was abruptly woken up by a group of students banging on my door and yelling for me to get out of bed. I was expecting it because my older brother told me about his initiation to his college, but he said it was “fun” and a good way to bond with other new students. I was expecting to have a few drinks and get down and do some push-ups [that’s what he did], but my experience was completely different. I was forced to drink a disgusting alcoholic mixture, while watching the older students simulating sex acts in front of us and telling us to join

one in

12

COLLEGE STUDENTS HAD WITNESSED OR OBSERVED AN ACTUAL OR ATTEMPTED SEXUAL ASSAULT

in. I didn’t want to, and one of the older male students handed me a drink and said, “Drink this, then.” I never accept drinks from strangers, but in that moment I felt so much pressure to join in and not be a “party pooper” that I did. I started feeling out of it and was struggling to keep my eyes open. Everything was spinning; my body went limp and I started passing in and out of consciousness. I remember the guy picking me up and putting my arm around him while he walked me somewhere. The next thing I remember is being on his bed without my underwear and seeing him on top of me. I could only muster the strength to mumble a few sentences, which I kept saying, like, “No, let me go to sleep in my room.” But nothing stopped him; he raped me. When I came to a few hours later, I was in a strange room alone. My underwear was on the floor, so I put them back on and walked out into the hallway and back to my room; my head was throbbing and tears were streaming down my face. I didn’t know who to call or what to do. I isolated myself from everyone else for the rest of the week and was terrified to bump into him in the hallways. I was so ashamed at what had happened and blamed myself: Why did I have that drink? I never reported it because I was too scared, but in hindsight I wish I had. What he did was illegal and it broke me for many years – I still get graphic flashbacks, and for a long time I lost my bubbly, outgoing nature. I lied to my parents and said I wasn’t enjoying the college because I didn’t have any friends there, so they found me accommodation off-campus in a share house with three other girls, who have been amazing. To anyone who this has happened to,


*NAMES HAVE BEEN CHANGED. ADDITIONAL INFORMATION: ENDRAPEONCAMPUSAU.ORG. GETTY IMAGES

residents’ shampoo bottles, smearing faeces on bathroom walls, female residents being rated in order of physical attractiveness and countless incidents of brutal sexual assault, have further shone a light on just how rife it is. Yet, there are no consequences for these perpetrators, and college administrators seem to be turning their backs on the problem. Hazing isn’t a new trend – it’s been around for decades and is deeply entrenched in the culture of these colleges. ‘We constructed a timeline that goes back to 1930, with evidence of media reportings that show these hazing rituals and abusive behaviours have been happening for a very long time,’ says Hush. ‘And colleges have by and large failed to really do anything to adjust it.’ So what can we do? Speak up. ‘There is a place for students who are concerned by this behaviour to intervene and to call each other out and to take whatever steps they can to disrupt these cultures,’ says Hush. ‘We hope that by publishing this report there will be public pressure on the colleges to step up and take action.’ ‘My university experience was completely ruined by one hellish week,’ says Lucy. ‘Hazing is not fun; it’s abuse.’ # don’t be afraid to seek help; no one should deal with it alone. I’ve gone to see a counsellor and it’s helped me deal with that night and taught me that what happened was not my fault; know that it’s never your fault.’

Entrenched in college culture University colleges here in Australia have made headlines before for their frightening undercurrent of sexual assault.

In 2012, an 18-year-old girl at the University of Sydney’s St John’s College was hospitalised after being forced to drink a dangerous cocktail of alcohol, dog food and shampoo. In 2009, a ‘pro-rape, anti-consent’ Facebook page run by students at University of Sydney’s St Paul’s College came to light, and now the latest horrific revelations in The Red Zone Report, including stories of male college residents habitually masturbating into female

YOUNGER FEMALE STUDENTS ARE OFTEN SUBJECTED TO UNWANTED ADVANCES AND ABUSE.

If this story has raised issues for you or anyone you know, support is available. You can contact Lifeline: 13 11 14; Beyondblue: 1300 22 4636 or the National Sexual Assault Helpline: 1800 737 732. If you have a tip off about current or former hazing, sexual assault or other initiation rituals at any Australian university, please contact the confidential tip-off line at: Redzonereportinfo@gmail.com. COSMOPOLITAN MAY 2018

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HELLO, PETAL Fall for autumn with feminine, flirty florals, layers of ruffles and sheer detailing STYLING BY CHARLOTTA BACKLUND PHOTOGRAPHY BY EMILY ABAY

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sex THE COSMO EDIT

relationships

THIS IS HOW YOU FLIRT YO U R O -ZO N E S G E T T O K N O W ALL ★ YOUR GUIDE TO STEA MY SHOW ER SEX EL AT IO NS HI PS ★ TH E RI SE OF AL MO ST-R ★ BACHIE IN PARADISE SPECIAL

BAUER SYNDICATION / BAUERSYNDICATION.COM.AU

COSMOPOLITAN MAY 2018

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NEED FOOD TO GET YOU IN THE MOOD? TRY RASPBERRIES!

S TA R T H IN G ! SOMET

The word ‘flirting’ can sound outdated. But the ability to banter playfully with someone you’re into is a valuable dating skill. ‘It heightens sexual tension and it helps you gauge compatibility and chemistry,’ says dating coach Laurie Davis Edwards, founder of The Worthy One and author of Love at First Click. The only problem? In the era of digital dating, you may never have learnt this analogue skill… or you’ve let it expire. Here’s how to signal you’re down to get much closer...

Digital Flirting Pepper in an Emoji

Toss in a wink, smiley face or kiss – the top emoji used by both sexes when flirting on their phones, according to Match’s Singles in America survey. But do so sparingly and not in lieu of a complete sentence when one is called for, says celebrity matchmaker and dating strategist Jasmine Diaz.

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Use Enticing Words

Data from dating app The League found that women who write mmm, cute, aww or handsome in their messages are six times more likely to swap numbers with a match than their less flirty counterparts. Try a line like, ‘A handsome guy who also likes ice-cream? Mmm,’ says the app’s CEO, Amanda Bradford.

Shoot Over a GIF

‘When texting, it can be difficult to express yourself and even more difficult to show emotion, but GIFs take off some of the pressure,’ explains Jess Carbino, PhD, Tinder’s resident sociologist. ‘You can send a flirty GIF, such as batting eyelashes, that conveys interest without having to be too forward.’ START HING! SOMET

Get a Little Fresh

When flirting with your thumbs, you need to ‘create enough rapport that you want to meet up’, says Edwards. While chatting, look for moments where you can tease or be sassy with an intriguing challenge like, ‘I’ll tell you when I see you’ or ‘Wonder if you’re this funny IRL…’ He’ll bite.

Look for this seal in every issue – it marks special content to inspire you to turn your ambitions into action.


sex & relationships

FACE-TO-FACE FLIRTING

WORDS BY CAITLIN CARLSON. PHOTOGRAPHY BY BAUER SYNDICATION / BAUERSYNDICATION.COM.AU

LOCK EYES (IN A NONCREEPY WAY) ‘Some old-school methods are irreplaceable. There’s nothing sexier than two confident people making eye contact from across the room,’ says Rori Sassoon, co-founder and CEO of the VIP matchmaking service Platinum Poire. A glance or two in which you make eye contact (for three seconds, max!) paired with a subtle smile sends a clear message: ‘I’m interested.’

SAY SOMETHING NICE So this hottie picked up your signal and is now approaching. Now what? ‘You

can’t go wrong with expressing an earnest compliment,’ says Sassoon. Look for something you find flattering about them (outfit, drink choice) or mention something sweet they did, like getting the bartender’s attention so someone could order a drink.

RECOGNISE HIS EFFORTS If a guy tosses out a line like ‘you have beautiful eyes’ and your response is ‘I bet you say that to everybody,’ you come off as sceptical, says Diaz (even if it was a total line). If you’re interested in getting to know this dude, instead of deflecting or downplaying his

comment (c’mon, he’s trying here!), simply respond with ‘Thank you,’ then move the conversation along. If that feels too abrupt, throw some honest praise right back.

SEND SIGNALS WITH BODY LANGUAGE Consider all the non-verbal hints you give when you’re not interested in someone. You fold your arms and avoid eye contact. When you want to show that you’re engaged and intrigued, make sure to uncross your arms, look him in the eyes and casually tuck your hair behind your ear, advises Diaz. #

?

Wait, is he into you or not? According to a University of Kansas study, 82 per cent of us don’t know when we’re being flirted with. The researchers chalk it up to the many different styles of wooing. A sincere flirt, for example, discloses his feelings (‘Um, I like you’), although you might mistake him for simply being friendly. Other guys opt for the polite style – acting ‘cautious almost to the point of being passive’, says study author Jeffrey A.Hall, PhD. If he wants to hang or asks if you’re seeing anyone, take the hint: He’s into you! ‘YOU BREATHE OXYGEN? WOW, WE HAVE SO MUCH IN COMMON!’

DON’T STOP ONCE YOU DTR (DEFINE THE RELATIONSHIP) Although there are

other motivations (like sex), most happy couples who are long-hauling it keep flirting because it’s fun, says Dave Henningsen, a professor of communication at Northern Illinois University. ‘As a relationship develops, flirting may not seem as important, but it can show your partner that you’re still attracted to them,’ explains Henningsen. COSMOPOLITAN MAY 2018

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Shower Sex… That Doesn’t End in the ER Why move things to the bedroom when you can get it on in the shower? We reveal how you can keep it sexy and safe

STEAMY AIR, cascading water, soapy

naked bodies gliding against each other. Shower sex sounds incredibly erotic. In reality, the experience can be anything but. First, the close quarters and slick surfaces call for some pretty awkward manoeuvring. ‘And then there are the physical dangers, like slipping and falling,’ warns sex coach Alicia Sinclair. I mean, you’re arching for an orgasm, not an arm cast! So here at Cosmo, we’ve come up with tips for safely pulling off a wet and wild session.

124 COSMOPOLITAN MAY 2018

GET A GRIP

LIGHT IT UP

Holding on to your shower curtain as your partner takes you from behind can rip it down, and putting your foot on the slick edge of the tub during face-toface sex is asking for trouble. Try adult brand Love Honey’s suction Handle Bar and Foot Rest ($29.95 and $26.95, Lovehoney.com) – made just for wet hook-ups!

Most bathroom lighting is harsh and unflattering – the opposite of mood setting. If you have a tub or a glass shower door, consider dimming or killing the overheads and lining your countertop with scented candles for a sensual and sexy glow, suggests Sinclair.

BRING A BUDDY An inconspicuous vibrating loofah can help you lather up and act dirty at the same time. Inside the layers of mesh is a hidden waterproof bullet vibrator. Have your partner work it all over your body, stopping at hot spots such as your nipples and clitoris for an X-rated thrill.


sex & relationships

OOPSPROOF POSITIONS TO TRY

The Bathing Booty

WORDS BY JULIE VADNAL. PHOTOGRAPHY BY CHRIS CLINTON. ILLUSTRATIONS BY KATIE BUCKLEITNER. *CONVERSION CORRECT AT TIME OF PRINT

Firmly plant your feet on the tub floor, and make sure they’re secure. Then bend over at the waist and spread your legs so your partner can enter you from behind. They’ll get a stellar view, and you get all the G-spot feels.

The Edge of Glory Oral in the shower = an awesome adventure. Take turns sitting on the edge of the tub, pleasuring each other with your mouths. On your turn, switch up the pace of your tongue, twisting from long, slow licks to speedy circles.

FEEL EVEN WETTER RUB-A-DUB-DUB Take turns giving each other a scalp massage with shampoo. Then move on to full-body stroking with a shower gel like Nurture Body Wash ($28, Nurturemybody.com), an organic, fragrancefree formula that won’t mess with your vagina’s pH levels.

Getting water in your privates can actually dry them out, making sex uncomfortable. Reach for a silicone lube, like Trojan’s Riviera ($19, Amazon.com), which is made for shower play and keeps the action slidey and glidey (but first, put down a non-slip mat on the shower floor).

CUSHION THE BLOW A washcloth is not only an ideal accessory to rub each other down with, but it’s also a great cushion for your knees. Lay a few on the floor of your shower (or you can even use a bath towel) when you’re going down on your partner or if you’re doing it doggie-style. #

The Stream Team Face your S.O., lean back against the shower wall and wrap one leg around them. Then have your partner enter you. If you have a handheld showerhead, aim the water at your clitoris while you swivel your hips back and forth. COSMOPOLITAN MAY 2018

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WILL TWO BECOME ONE... OR NONE?

T

he other day someone asked me how long I’d been single for. In simple terms the answer was five years, but when it comes to some people’s love lives – namely my own – the answer is never that simple. While I may not have had the official title of ‘girlfriend’ for quite some time, I’ve held onto the status of ‘almost’ for many years. There was the best mate who almost became my boyfriend and the reality TV star who danced around the idea of a legit relationship with me for a ridiculous two years. I’ve had girlfriends who have started and ended several ‘full-time’ relationships during the life span of just one of my ARs. And I’m not alone in my relationship limbo. With the rise of dating apps, such as Tinder, ARs are becoming commonplace. But what exactly is an AR? Guys, that’s like asking me to explain why Anna Faris and Chris Pratt (aka the best couple in the world) broke up – I really don’t know, but I’m going to try my best to break it down

ALMOSTRELATIONSHIP? You date, you click, but for some reason it never develops into anything serious, and yet it never ends. Morgan Reardon explores the new relationship limbo...


* PEWSOCIALTRENDS.ORG/2014/09/24/RECORD-SHARE-OF-AMERICANS-HAVE-NEVER-MARRIED. ** CENSUSDATA.ABS.GOV.AU/CENSUS_SERVICES/GETPRODUCT/CENSUS/2016/QUICKSTAT/036. STOCKSY

sex & relationships

for you! ARs are the grey matter in the world of relationships; they look like a relationship, they feel like a relationship and yet they’re anything but. My first AR was several years ago when I interviewed a reality TV contestant. While I’m all about professionalism, he was a total babe and I fell hard – like, really hard. But because he was on a TV show and lived in another state, coordinating a catch up was pretty damn difficult. We’d text all the time, see each other every couple of months, have the most intense and amazing conversations, which sometimes led to a little more... but at the end of the day we were not a couple – and yet I couldn’t bring myself to date anyone else seriously. Was this healthy? Probably not. Could I stop it? Not a chance. Let’s not get this twisted – an AR is not a booty call/f-buddy scenario. No, they go much deeper than that. In some cases you might not even get to third base with them. Take my second AR for example, it lasted six months and while we went on loads of ‘dates’ and acted enough like a couple that no guy would ever approach me, we never crossed over the

intimacy barrier, bar a sneaky spoon here and there. And this is where ARs can do more harm than good, warns psychologist Madonna Hirning. ‘Often we stay in these situations because of a lack of vulnerability, or not wanting to make it something more because you’re hoping there’s something better out there, or even a fear around letting it go. It’s important to know when to take a step in either one of those directions.’ But it’s not all doom and gloom – there are loads of benefits too. ‘ARs can also be a lot of fun,’ says Hirning. ‘They provide good company and in some cases a really great friendship. Research shows that the friendship basis of a relationship is the most important predictor of how a relationship is going to play out. It even plays into sex and intimacy – if the friendship stays strong, so does the sex

‘KNOW YOUR PARAMETERS AND MAKE SURE YOU STICK TO THEM’ and intimacy, so you could be moving towards something really powerful.’ ARs aren’t some passing fad either. Millennials’ attitudes towards relationships have been evolving over recent years. A report from the Pew Research Center estimated that by the time today’s young adults, aka us, reach the age of 50, about one in four will never have married*. And according to the latest Census, around 40% of the Aussie population is single**. It seems as though there’s no longer a ‘one size fits all’ relationship title. We’re far more adventurous and independent than the generations before us. We live alone, we travel the world, we change careers, we start families later – or not at all – and that’s OK. So should you find yourself in an AR, how the heck do you navigate them? Like most things in life, it all comes down to communication. ‘You have to be honest with yourself and the other person,’ says Hirning. ‘Are you allowed to see other people? What happens if one of you want more? Know your parameters and make sure you stick to them. When everyone is clear, the relationship will work much better for everyone involved and you can enjoy the flexibility it offers.’ If only there was an AR box we could check on our Facebook status... #

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LO R IEN E H C A B RAD I S PA E O V E R TA K

Ask Him Anything Our fave reality lotharios are back and looking for a second chance at love. Now they’re here to help you – yes you– with all your love questions

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sex & relationships

A

fter missing out on winning the hearts of Australia’s most beloved Bachelorettes (we’re looking at you, Sam Frost and Sophie Monk!), Apollo Jackson and Davey Lloyd have certainly had their fair share of dating high and lows, which makes them the perfect pair to answer all your love dramas and dating dilemmas. Take it away, boys…

INTERVIEW BY MORGAN REARDON. STYLING BY CHARLOTTA BACKLUND. PHOTOGRAPHY BY PAUL SUESSE/BAUER. HAIR AND MAKEUP BY ANA ZUPANOSKA. RIP CURL SURFBOARD. APOLLO WEARS VENROY SHORTS. DAVEY WEARS VENROY SHIRT AND SHORTS

Q. I’m going on a first date

with a guy I’ve been chatting to on Tinder for weeks and he wants me to plan it – what should I do?

Davey - It’s Tinder, so it’s going to be a little awkward. Take the pressure off, ditch dinner and plan something fun that will break the ice, like an amusement park date or bowling. I’d be really impressed if a girl did that. Apollo - I think it’s a really bold move for the guy to ask the girl to plan the first date. I think first dates need to be fun, old school and light-hearted. I would definitely be putting the ball back in his court afterwards and make him plan date number two.

Q. I’ve been texting a guy

I like, but sometimes he takes hours or a whole day to get back to me. Does this mean he’s just not into me?

Apollo - It really depends on the guy. I’m shocking at replying, that’s my Achilles heel when it comes to relationships, but that’s because I’ll be off writing music and playing guitar for eight hours and then

remember I got a message from someone and never wrote back. It depends what his excuse for not replying is. If he’s been sitting at the beach all day, not doing much and hasn’t replied, then that’s not great, but if he’s a busy dude and can’t use his phone at work, then maybe he’ll take a few hours to reply and that’s fine. Davey - I always have my phone on me at work so I do reply quite quickly. I don’t believe in playing games or the whole ‘Treat them mean, keep them keen,’ thing. I think if you’re keen on them then just be nice and go for it.

Q Be honest – if a girl sleeps with a guy on the first date, is she forever seen as a booty call? Apollo – This is a tough one, but I’m going to say no. I went on a first date with a girl and it just happened and we ended up dating for a year and a half. It’s about the romantic connection outside of having sex. Davey – I’ve had a similar experience where we slept together on the first date and then dated for ages after that. Another time, I dated a girl for a few weeks and when we finally slept together, we realised we didn’t really have that chemistry. It just depends on the person and the connection you have. >

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LO R IEN E H C A B RAD I S PA E O V E R TA K are more believable than others. I’ve had: ‘My friend is really sick and I’ve got to help her;’ ‘My parents need the car’ – that one’s actually believable – ‘I’ve got to be up early.’ Davey - You want honesty. If I was on a date and the girl genuinely said, ‘Look, I’m just not feeling it,’ that’s better than sitting there after the date waiting to hear back from her, wondering what I’ve done wrong. Apollo - Can I change my answer to that? I agree that honesty is good. Otherwise, sometimes you can get caught in your lie. Once, while on a date, a girl said to me that her friend’s boyfriend locked her out and she had to go pick her up. I offered to go with her and help but she said no. When I didn’t hear from her the next day I was worried, so I messaged but didn’t hear anything back. I saw her a few days later in a park with another guy and quickly realised there was no friend in need…

Q. I’m about to meet my

boyfriend’s parents for first time. Any tips to make them love me?

Q. Should I get my

boyfriend a present for our six-month anniversary? If so, what?

Apollo - It can’t be a six -month anniversary because anniversaries are a year thing. Davey - I totally agree with that!

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Q. I’ve been on so many bad dates lately that I need some ‘get out of this date quick’ excuses. Any suggestions?

Apollo - In my younger years, I didn’t have the best luck dating, so I’ve heard plenty of them (laughs). There are some that

Davey - Don’t be intimidated and nervous. I know that’s hard to do but if your boyfriend sees you being open and wanting to spend time with the family, then he’ll love that. I know I would. Apollo - I totally agree with Davey. If you’re trying to be someone else and make them like you, that’s not going to work – they want to see who their son is falling in love with. Be interested – even if the dad has a really boring job, ask him about it and listen.


sex & relationships

Q How soon is too soon to say ‘I love you?’ It’s been six months! Davey – I don’t think there’s a time limit on it. You don’t want to say it too soon, but if you think it’s reciprocated then go for it. I had a girlfriend say it in the first week of us being together and I said it back because it was true. But in another case I had a girl say it after two weeks of dating and it didn’t feel right. Apollo – I’m a believer in being open about your feelings. If you’re in love, it’s good to tell your partner, especially after six months. I wouldn’t date a girl for six months if I wasn’t in love with her or saw myself falling in love with her. #

BACHELOR IN PARADISE AIRS 7.30PM SUNDAYS TO WEDNESDAYS ON CHANNEL TEN.

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manthropo YOUR GUIDE TO THE MALE BRAIN

‘THE MOST IMPORTANT THING A WOMAN TAUGHT ME IN BED…’ ‘It’s a marathon, not a sprint. This is easily the most important thing I’ve learnt from a woman – not that going fast and hard is necessarily bad, but that going a hundred per cent jackhammerstyle for five minutes isn’t the way to do it.’ – AARON, 28

DECODE HIS BOOKSHELF Eighty-five per cent of singles believe being well-read is sexy, according to a survey by dating site EliteSingles. Uncover what his fave type of read says about him BIOGRAPHIES He’s interested in learning about how others think, so he’s probably a great listener, says Pamela Rutledge, PhD, director of the Media Psychology Research Center in California.

SCI-FI As a nonconformist, he has interests that veer away from mainstream trends, so it’s likely he’s down to do new, kooky things. Feel free to suggest a far-out date idea you’ve wanted to try.

‘I learnt the importance of foreplay and that it can be even better than sex.’ PETE, 28

‘To not be afraid to take charge sometimes. I assumed no woman would be into that, but some are. You just need to let her tell you that. It opened my eyes a lot.’ – JIM, 27

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CURRENT AFFAIRS He’s an intellectual who’s looking to expand his knowledge base, says Rutledge. School him on a thing or two he doesn’t already know.


sex & relationships

logy SELF-HELP Odds are, there’s a specific objective he wants to accomplish or he’s in a deep self-examination phase. Tell him your own goals and he may help you grow as an individual too.

REPORTING BY TAYLOR ANDREWS, FAYE BRENNAN, DANIELLE KAM AND FRANK KOBOLA. GIAMPAOLO SGURA /TRUNK ARCHIVE

THRILLERS It could be that this guy is an adrenaline junkie who gets off on taking risks… or maybe he just likes a problem to solve. Either way, suggest an adventurous date.

T H E LOV E C OAC H

Matthew Hussey

4 CLUES HE’S IN LOVE WITH YOU 1 He plans a trip with you months in advance. If he’s locking in a summer vacation, he’s no longer hedging his bets when you talk about future events. He clearly wants to be a part of them.

2

3

4

He celebrates your quirks.

He goes to your family stuff.

When a man has fallen for you, he embraces the silly dance moves you do in the kitchen while cooking, for example. FYI: He melts a little when he thinks about them.

Any guy can ask you to tag along with his own family’s plans. But if he’s down to attend your little sister’s play, it’s because he wants to see you happy.

He ties his ambitions to you. If he articulates that he’s hustling at work to afford things you two can share, it’s a sweet sign he wants to achieve his goals as part of a vision that involves you. #

58

THE PERCENTAGE OF DUDES WHO FEEL THAT CONFIDENCE IS THE MOST ADMIRABLE QUALITY IN WOMEN. A-TO-THE-MEN! SOURCE: 2017 TALBOTS SURVEY

DUDE DEFINITION

Broacher noun

A guy who never seems to approach a girl on his own but easily poaches anyone his friends are talking to. He’s kind of like that friend you have who will go after any hottie you even dare look at. *eye roll* COSMOPOLITAN MAY 2018

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sex

Q+A

Q. Can I really get arrested for having sex in public? A. Yup, but public sexcapades can be blurry territory. There are no laws that specifically make reference to sexy time in public, but there are a number of other laws which can be applied towards adventurous love makers. If you’re wilfully exposing your genitals in public, you will likely cop a fine, and worst case scenario – jail time. Even if your genitals are not exposed, sex in public could also be seen as offensive behaviour and therefore a different type of offence. So, while doing it where you might be seen is sexy in theory, it’s risky in reality.

Honest answers to your most private questions

Q. Could I get pregnant from

having sex without a condom while I have my period?

A. If you’re truly menstruating (as in, the lining of your uterus is shedding around two weeks after you ovulate), then no, says ob-gyn, Lauren Streicher, MD, medical director of the Center for Sexual Medicine and Menopause at Northwestern Memorial Hospital, in Chicago. That said, when many women see blood, they assume ‘period’, even though it could be irregular bleeding or spotting mid-cycle – both instances in which sperm could infiltrate one of your eggs. To avoid le bébé, wrap it up at all times. WHEN PDA GOES TOO FAR... GET A ROOM, GUYS!

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Q. I heard weed is an

aphrodisiac. True?

A. The jury’s still out. A recent study in the Journal of Sexual


sex & relationships

Medicine found that frequent pot smokers have about 20 percent more sex than non-smokers. And while certain strains of marijuana and weed-laced lubes are purported to heighten desire, it has yet to be proven. ‘We know that cannabis works on the brain and impacts neurotransmitters, which may, in turn, impact libido,’ says Dr. Streicher. ‘So it’s not out of the realm of scientific reason.’

into their sex lives, according to a 2017 Skyn Condoms survey, you can also be the director of your own steamy scenes. Simply script intimate scenarios in your mind, as if you’re writing an erotic story, suggests sex educator Sari Locker, PhD, author of The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Amazing Sex. Think of a titillating build up, climax, and conclusion, then fill in the R-rated details as you go. We’ll help you get started: You’re sitting pretty on a tropical beach, when a sexy stranger walks over with two mai tais...

Q. I love a suction vibe, but

unfortunately they often leave me feeling so sensitive. What’s a gentler option?

WORDS BY JULIE VADNAL. PHOTOGRAPHY BY ROBERT WHITMAN. GETTY IMAGES

A. For many women, nipples are erogenous zones. Give your lady lumps some love and get your hands on a pair of nipple suckers. They’re designed to draw blood to the area causing greater sensitivity and an extra tingly sensation, which means increased arousal. If you’re a beginner, start off by applying gentle suction, then work your way up. Add a quality waterbased lubricant to help the suckers stick and for the suction to last longer. (Check out our fave, right). Q. Any thoughts about a great way to turn myself on... that’s not porn?

A. Although some 20 percent of millennials incorporate porn

WTF IS…

Before play?

Q. What’s the best (and most fun!) position for a quickie with my guy?

SEX TOY OF THE MONTH

Make your nipples tingle and pop with the Perfect Pair Silicone Nipple Suckers! LOVEHONEY, ($19.95, (Lovehoney.com.au).

A. When you don’t have a ton of time, try the upright doggie position, says Locker. While standing and holding or leaning onto a piece of furniture (a bedpost, kitchen counter, bathroom sink – even a wall if you’re desperate!), bend over and have your partner enter you from behind. You’ll feel them super deep inside and get some serious G-spot stimulation, but you’ll also have a hand free to rub your clitoris (a notable perk, since the majority of women need this type of action to actually have an orgasm).

YOU DO YOU, GIRL!

Q. When I masturbate,

I fantasise about other women, but I’m straight! What’s going on?

A. ‘It’s natural to have erotic thoughts about any type of person,’ Locker. ‘The partners you choose to be with in real life may be different from the people who pop up into your fantasies.’ Most people have had arousing thoughts about being with various genders, regardless of how they identify sexually. Your mind’s just exploring – there’s no need to overanalyse. #

X-rated sexts, a little flash of skin, or any other seductive moves or mind tricks you can do before actually physically touching your lover. ‘Sex may not even be on your radar when you wake up in the morning, but beforeplay, or pre-foreplay, puts it top of mind and makes it easier to stay turned on once things get going,’ says sexologist Emily Morse, host of the Sex With Emily podcast. Next time you want to consciously give it all you’ve got, try this: Send your boo a ‘Bring the handcuffs’ text, or make coffee for two... in your undies, suggests Morse. COSMOPOLITAN MAY 2018

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DO TRY BUY

SEE WHAT MADE OUR SHORTLIST THIS MONTH

ACNE BE GONE

SHAVE PERFECTION

IMPOSTERS

Combination skin? Bioré’s daily acne scrub with natural baking soda and salicylic acid, deep cleans and gently exfoliates for clearer skin in just two days. Fight back against breakouts! RRP $10.99, Priceline.com.au/ brand/biore.

Go beyond a close shave with clinically proven, lasting hydration! The Schick Hydro Silk boasts water-activated Hydra-Renew serum that moisturises up to two hours after shaving. RRP $14.25, Schick.com.au/women.

Maddie is a con artist who seduces her marks, marries them, then disappears with their money. Her scheme works until her victims team up to find her. Season Two returns to Stan from April 6. Stan.com.au. Stan subscriptions from $10 a month.

HEAVEN ON EARTH

HYDRATION IS HERE

Newly opened Fiji Marriott Resort Momi Bay is the only place on Fiji’s mainland to offer over-water accommodation. Surrounded by a turquoise lagoon, the luxurious resort provides guests with an elegant, tropical island experience. Visit Fijimarriott.com.

A’kin’s cleansing micellar water is pH-balanced, soap-free and infused with organic coconut water, green tea, cucumber and lavender extract to cool, soothe and hydrate skin while lifting away makeup and impurities. RRP $17.95, (500ml) Akin.com.au.

SUPERCHARGED SKIN

NATURAL BEAUTY Experience Nude by Nature’s award-winning Natural Mineral Cover to perfect your complexion. The feather-light formula delivers sheer to full coverage and protects your skin with SPF 15, leaving your skin with a radiant finish. RRP $39.95, Nudebynature.com.

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Fight back and revamp your skin with new NIVEA Q10 plus C sleep cream. Its powerful combination of pure vitamin C and Q10 energises skin cells to regenerate overnight, so you wake up looking refreshed. Stockist and availability: 1800 103 023.

MUST-HAVES Highlighted by Michael Kors’ iconic pilot shape, the La Jolla is the shade of the season. Colour-blocked lenses channel a fashion-forward aesthetic, while the logo detailing offers a signature finish. RRP $254.95, Sunglasshut.com/au.


travel GUEST EDITED BY

@JADETUNCHY

THE BEST OF THE WEST

’ IN T H E U S A D E S E R T D R E A M IN ★ FOOD IE FINDS YOU’L L DROO L OVER US LA S VE GA S ★ W EL CO ME TO FA BU LO ★ CA LIF OR NIA’S BES T-K EPT SEC RET S ★

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JUST MAKING FRIENDS WITH THE NEIGHBOURS...

DISCOVER JADÉ TUNCDORUK TAKES ON THE COAST OF CALIFORNIA AND THE DREAMY DESERTS OF THE WEST WITH TREKAMERICA

Model, Insta sensation and YouTuber Jadé Tuncdoruk, aka @jadetunchy, is officially our new girl crush!

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I’ve never seen so many incredible places in such a short amount of time. Travelling with TrekAmerica meant you interact with people from all walks of life and you often stay in places that aren’t overly touristy, so you get to experience the country as if you were a local. Many of the places we went to weren’t necessarily spots I’d plan to go out of my way to see, but once we stopped I was so glad that it was part of the tour. Everywhere we went left me with an interesting story

to come back home and share with my friends and family. I didn’t do much research into the areas I was going, so I only had a brief knowledge of each place, but I was constantly surprised. I think going into it with this approach gave me more room to be impressed. I wasn’t expecting to see so much – Arizona’s Grand Canyon was the highlight! We stopped in a couple of random, quiet towns throughout our trip which was great because we, like most people, often stick to big cities when travelling. One thing I noticed was how the local style is different

in each city. In Arizona, everyone’s more relaxed and ‘country-like’ in their appearance, but in San Francisco, the locals dress like people in Sydney’s Newtown, except on steroids. I went in winter so everyone was dressing to keep warm – I didn’t even wear one pair of heels the entire time! My advice? Make sure your clothes are comfy but also cute enough for Insta pics! Don’t forget you’re on the road a lot so you won’t want to be in a miniskirt on a bus for eight hours...


travel

READY TO SEA’S THE DAY AT VENICE BEACH.

COMPILED BY CASSIDY LOANE. IMAGES SUPPLIED. GETTY IMAGES

SAN FRAN’S WORLD-FAMOUS GOLDEN GATE BRIDGE.

WHERE TO STAY

We stayed in a great place called The Golden Nugget. It was located right on the Las Vegas Strip, where all the casinos are! There’s so much to do, and every night the Strip holds a free concert with different artists performing. The accommodation itself was luxurious and spacious and the entire hotel was, of course, equipped with its very own casino, restaurants, gym, Starbucks (a necessity if you’re a coffee drinker from Australia heading to the States), pool and aquarium – which, by the way, a transparent water slide ran through! Unfortunately the pool area is closed in winter, which I understand because I couldn’t walk outside without at least five layers on. > COSMOPOLITAN MAY 2018

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WHERE TO EAT

THE BRIGHT COLOURS OF SALVATION MOUNTAIN IN CALIFORNIA.

THE WEST COAST BOASTS SOME OF THE WORLD’S MOST FAMOUS RESTAURANTS You can expect larger-thanlife meals in the States. All the serving sizes are much bigger than they are back home. There’s so many great pizza and burger places to try – and donuts are everywhere! Worry about your diet later, I say.

Catch LA (Catchrestaurants.com/ catchla). It’s a little more exxy, but definitely worth it. The moment you walk in you feel like you’re in Hollywood (which you are) as you’re greeted by two cool-looking guys, one being a very large, well-dressed security guard. The service is immaculate and the food is delicious and well presented (think of the ’Gram, guys!) The interior boasts a famous walkway of dangling

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fairy lights as you enter the rooftop venue. It’s also known to be a celeb hot spot, so if you’re a bit of a celebrity hunter, head here. I even saw one of the actors from Iron Man! If you only fork out for one restaurant during your stay, make it this one!

Shake Shack (Shakeshack.com) This place is cheap, they’re everywhere, and it’s easily one of the best burgers I’ve ever had. I didn’t get a chance to try their shakes but I’ve heard they’re just as good. I ordered the beef and chicken burgers and both were fantastic. FYI, it’s even better than In-N-Out burger.

GETTING MY ’GRAM ON AT GOLDEN GATE!


travel

California: Home to palm trees and hidden gems

MUST DOS

THE SHOUT! HOUSE, SAN DIEGO (Sd.theshouthouse.com) This is a local piano bar, but not what you’d expect. Every night, talented performers play the piano and sing whatever song you request – just remember to tip! But here’s the thing – they’re also comedians. They pull people up on stage, make them dance, change the lyrics to songs – it’s hilarious! Make sure you pay a visit!

FIRESTONE GRILL, SAN LUIS OBISPO (Firestonegrill.com) Two words – mouthwatering burgers! My guy and I waited in line for 30 minutes and it was well worth the wait. This place looks like a college sports bar, but so many people visit because the food is THAT good. If you’re a big BBQ and grill fan, go here!

I’M A REAL-LIFE CALI GIRL NOW!

BUCA DI BEPPO, SAN DIEGO (Bucadibeppo.com) A great little Italian place. The decor is rustic and colourful, and the food is authentic and tastes amazing, but order to share because the portion sizes are huge!

1

You must hike through the Grand Canyon – it’s incredible. I know what you’re thinking, ‘Hike? Holidays are for relaxing,’ but trust me, you need to do this!

2

Make sure you hike through Yosemite National Park too! These two hikes were my favourite experiences on the trip. They were nothing short of magical!

ULTIMATE INSTAGRAM OPPS VE BE NICE AC H

K YO NA SEM TIO ITE NA LP AR

TH CA E GR NY AN ON D

COMPILED BY CASSIDY LOANE. GETTY IMAGES

’COS IF YOU SEE SOMETHING COOL AND DON’T ’GRAM IT, DID YOU EVEN SEE IT AT ALL?

3

See a show in Las Vegas. I saw magician David Copperfield and it was definitely the cherry on top of my trip. #

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FUN, FOOD, FASHION AND FLUFFY ANIMALS – MEET YOUR FEED’S NEW BFF

@cosmoaustralia

FOLLOW US!


travel VISIT THE CULTURAL CAPITAL OF AUSTRALIA!

MELBOURNE

WORDS BY CASSIDY LOANE AND ANA ZUPANOSKA. GETTY IMAGES

There’s more to this bustling city than meets the eye. We show you its best-kept secrets...

Famous for its food and bar culture, Melbourne is a city that attracts millions of visitors from around the world. A melting pot of diverse cultures and neighbourhoods, you’ll never be short of something to discover. The vibrant capital is best known for its lanes and walkways including Hozier Lane’s graffiti art walls. Ed Sheeran was even caught casually busking for an hour there after his tour! If you’re after a hearty Italian meal and a cool (hello, it’s

Melbourne) atmosphere, try Bar Carolina on Toorak Road. Right next door lives the classic Melbourne favourite, France-Soir, where you’ll find the best steak of your life. Going for more grit with your meat? Angus & Bon in Prahran gets its name from the old Station Hotel at Greville Street, where AC/DC played one of their first Melbourne shows. Keeping up with the historical vibe, Melbourne continues the restored treasures with Etta in Brunswick

East, perfect for any vegetarian friends – half of the menu is meat-free! If that doesn’t tantalise your taste buds, wait until you try the sugar-roasted buttercup pumpkin! Looking to try something different? Miznon on Hardware Lane serves up Israeli cuisine. The focus is pita and roasted cauliflower (trust us, it’s amazing). If you’re game, try the last item on the menu: ‘If you want to feel a warm egg inside your hand...’ it’s only $2 – go on, we dare you! #

WHERE TO STAY

TRY THE EASTSIDE AND THE BLACK MOJITO.

Whether it’s work or play, head to Pullman Melbourne on the Park (Pullmanonthepark.com.au) – it’s close to public transport, amazing restaurants, bars and all the major sports stadiums. This contemporary-style hotel boasts a luxe vibe, and is filled with loads of history – built on the site of the famous 19th century Cliveden mansion. And if you want to get your ’Gram on, look no further than the gorgeous marble bathrooms – they’re made for an Insta shoot!

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HOROSCOPES

Taurus 20.04–21.05

Brace yourself! Uranus, the planet that represents revolutionary change, moves into your sign on the 15th. A shift will come in the form of new ideas and travel, but don’t blow your budget. And when major news hits at month’s end, decide whether the source is credible before you act. You’re seen as the strong, steady type, but with Uranus at your back, you may shock everyone. You’ll be a busy bee with good wins at work starting in November. No matter what, trust your intuition and think big! TAURUS GAL Kelly Clarkson 24.04.82

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horoscopes

GEMINI

CANCER

LEO

VIRGO

22.05–20.06

21.06–22.07

23.07–22.08

23.08–22.09

With Venus, the planet of love, in your sign until the 19th, expect more attention. And when the Sun moves into Gemini on the 20th, love blossoms. Don’t let it blind you from real-world-probs – unexpected bills could hit before June. GEMINI GUY: Social butterfly + homebody = all Gems, so enjoy nights out and at home.

Any work drama settles down after the 15th, when Uranus moves out of your career zone. Venus shifts into your sign on the 19th, putting you in the mood to swoon. Don’t be hasty – you may learn some enlightening info on the 25th. CANCER GUY: He’s super lovey at the end of May, so tell him what really floats your boat!

Get ready for a career shake-up midmonth. Networking will be key, so use those LinkedIn skills. Treat yo’self with a night out after the 20th, and get ready for a sexy-time Full Moon on the 29th. LEO GUY: Work has him tied up, and he needs your help to get himself together... which might lead to bedroom bondage fun.

Soak up recognition at work – it could propel you right into your next lightbulb moment. Towards month’s end, hit the refresh button by booking a trip. Chill time will prime your mind for a big breakthrough on the 23rd. VIRGO GUY: He’s all swagger and smiles. Celebrate his wins and he’ll shower you with x’s and o’s.

LIBRA

SCORPIO

SAGITTARIUS

CAPRICORN

23.09–22.10

23.10–21.11

22.11–21.12

22.12–19.01

Grab the reins, baby – it’s time to ride high! If you’ve been good, opposition between the Sun and abundant Jupiter on the 8th could bring a windfall. At month’s end, you’ll find clarity about a relationship. If it’s move-on time, a vacay will help you get over it. LIBRA GUY: His mood: brooding. Get him talking and all will be OK.

When the Sun opposes good-luck Jupiter on the 8th, you’ll meet a new boo or get closer to your current crush. The New Moon on the 15th will bring clarity about your status. In late May, tap into your EQ for epiphanies about your future. SCORPIO GUY: He has a whole lotta love to give. If he isn’t showing any – boy, bye.

You’re this close to having it all. Things may be swell at work, but you’ll soar with more structure. You’ll find the drive to start a healthy habit on the 11th. The end of the month is romance time, with the Full Moon in your sign on the 29th. SAGITTARIUS GUY: He’s going to sweep you off your feet at the end of the month.

This month, you’re bringing sexy back. Single? Anticipate more than one suitor, some who might surprise and delight. All signs point to the 11th for sparks. After the 19th, when Venus moves into your zone, you’ll be getting it good. CAPRICORN GUY: He’s Mr. Serious, but even he won’t be able to resist your frisky side.

AQUARIUS

PISCES

ARIES

20.01–18.02

19.02–20.03

21.03–19.04

Pay attention to your heart – and intuition – especially on the 11th. Life gets lighter and flirtier after the Sun moves into Gemini on the 20th. Around the Full Moon on the 29th, a friend may let you know he like likes you. AQUARIUS GUY: He may be a guyliner short of going full emo. Listen to him carefully to find out what’s up.

New opportunities await near the 15th. Trust your gut, but don’t be too impulsive – incoming intel could change your perspective. Once you make it to the end of the month, your inner compass will guide you. PISCES GUY: Help him look up from his screen so you can get some lovin’ on a road trip for two.

Unpredictable Uranus moves out of your sign on the 15th, which means stability. Put down some roots, because you’re about to be busy! After the Sun moves into Gemini on the 20th, the invites will flood your inbox. ARIES GUY: He’s super busy, but surprisingly Zen. Reward his hustle with a pat on the back – or bum.

WORDS BY AURORA TOWER (@AURORAASTRO). GETTY IMAGES

TAURUS GUY Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson 02.05.72 Your dude is jacked up on exciting, new ideas. His ambition will really skyrocket if you voice your support.

COSMOPOLITAN MAY 2018

145


celeb quickie

JESS MAUBOY

From Australian Idol to this year’s Eurovision Song Contest, this songbird is taking over the world!

My nickname is…

My hidden talent is…

My go-to emoji is…

When I found out I was repping Australia at Eurovision, I…

The most famous person in my phone is…

The song I wish I had sung is…

My ultimate guilty pleasure is…

My fave Instagram account is…

My advice to Cosmo readers is…

Catch Eurovision 9-13 May on SBS.

146 COSMOPOLITAN MAY 2018

INTERVIEW BY MORGAN REARDON. PHOTOGRAPHY SUPPLIED BY SBS. GETTY IMAGES

Three things you’ll always find on my tour rider are…


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Cosmopolitan australia 2018 05 01  
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