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glabella. THE SECOND ISSUE FEBRUARY 2K16

CONTENTS 2

Love Yourself 3

May You Change for the Better 5

Deciding Suicide 10

Quotable Positivity 15

(A poem)

Submit to Glabella: ginoongcervantes@gmail.com Follow the Maker on Twitter @sicarlcervantes Visit sloppydasein.wordpress.com

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LOVE YOURSELF Welcome to the second issue of Glabella!

the words of Marcelo Santos III, who released a new book called, “Move On. Walang Forever!” (Seriously, he’s still releasing books!)

In the previous issue, we opened doors and ventured into secret worlds and alternate realities. We entered an underground art gallery, explored an online red light district, and met a colorblind painter. Now, I hope to explore the one who is opening the door. The self, the person... you.

Now, while it’s incredibly amusing and more fun to mope around and dish out hugot lines coming from almost anything, it would also be nice to be reminded that you deserve to be loved. When people say, “Love your neighbour as you love yourself” it implies that you already love yourself.

This February, we will be celebrating the much awaited (and highly commercialized) holiday known to all as Valentine’s Day, where cheesy people get more cheesy and bitter people get more bitter. I personally

Sometimes, though, it feels like loving your neighbour is much easier.

Carl Lorenz Cervantes, Editor

expect more #patama, #halaman, and #walangforever tweets to rival the #tamangpanahon, #loveisintheair, and #mayforever tweets in a huge nationwide mix of sour hugot posts and sweet, rose-scented lovey-dovey posts. There seems to be a gap between people who believe in love and people who think it’s BS. Unfortunately, it appears that this stems from the idea that love is for people who “deserve” to be loved, and if you don’t have anybody to share that love with, then it automatically means that you are unlovable. But the cold never bothered you anyway, did it? You might echo 2


MAY YOU CHANGE FOR THE BETTER By Lea Bolante

When I was in high school, I made a

through an uphill battle to become a

very silly mistake of posting what I thought would be a harmless post on Multiply. Shortly after, a bunch of people from my high school took offense and went ballistic. After that, I was scolded by one of my former high school clubmates, who told me to “behave.” Ever since that incident, I started doubting myself and the skills I had. I grew to be sensitive (and defensive) about constructive criticism, and I thought of myself as a horrible writer. This negative perception affected my work ethic in high school, and I grew to avoid writing. I became unkind to myself.

better person. However, questions like, “What if they still think I am a shitty, incompetent person who can’t write and thrive creatively?” still pop in my head and keep me up at night. But looking back, six years is a long time to grow and change. Maybe the girls who went ballistic about my post have moved on and chalked up the experience to high school-level bitchiness, and here I am, still occasionally moping about it and using this experience to impede my own progress. Instead of seeing this incident as a traumatic experience, why not look at it as an opportunity for growth? Sometimes, I think having a change in perspective is important,

Six years after that incident, I still find myself thinking about it. Even though I’ve made efforts to move past it, there’s a part of me that still remains scared. During the six years that had passed since that incident, I went

especially during times like these. I guess it is only recently that I realized that bringing a new perspective to an issue speeds up the healing process. Now that I learned to see this issue

“I told myself that I would never be good enough for anything.” 1


around them. Some people can just be total asshats, so don’t let them get in the way as much as possible. But, at the same time, do not be a dick when the people that genuinely care about you give constructive criticism. (The latter is something that I am trying to work on, by the way.)

“What if they still think I am a shitty, incompetent person who can’t write and thrive creatively?” from a more positive perspective, I guess it has been long overdue that I get over this little trauma of mine and move on from this incident from high school (because hello, you are practically done with school, and you seem to can’t move on from past hurts, get over it already!).

As I write this, I always have to remind myself that I am in a much better place now and that I am growing as a person, even if there are times that I feel stuck. If you are reading this, I want to tell you that things will get better, and that you can grow. Anyway, I guess this is also a reminder that people should not be

Lea is a 21-year old aspiring writer who juggles a full-time job at a digital advertising agency. She likes bacon, lipsticks, and dirty white sneakers.

too hard on themselves, especially when they are hit by seemingly mindless criticisms by the people 2


DECIDING SUICIDE By Carl Lorenz Cervantes 5


“What I feel isn’t an absence of fear for death nor is it a longing for the big finish, but it is just an overwhelming indifference whether I live or die.” It may be hard to believe if you know me, but there are times when I think to myself, “if I died right now, it would not be a big deal”. Obviously–I hope–it would be a big deal to my parents, but I’m talking about a personal capacity to feel anything about death. What I feel isn’t an absence of fear for death nor is it a longing for the big finish, but it is just an overwhelming indifference whether I live or die. Besides, I would imagine that it would

when you peer into the hole, and these echoes sound like him or her– whoever passed away. I’d like to believe that all of us would create that hole in somebody’s life. When I was younger, I was afraid of death because I had not yet done most of the things I wanted to do. That is true even now that I am older, but the difference now is that sometimes, I cannot find the same motivation to survive as I did when I was younger. I know I’m too young to think about these things, but the reality of death is that you’re never too young to die. Things don’t have to be bad for you to not care about killing yourself. Sometimes, things are just… meaningless. Sometimes, they’re just extremely, blandly satisfactory. Sometimes, the things that you used to be excited about don’t excite you anymore. Avolition is a lack of drive to pursue goals, and it is one of the first symptoms of depression.

take a few days before people actually start wondering, “Uy, nasaan si Carl?” (“Hey, where is Carl?”) Death is not a light topic, though we’ve tried to assert power over it by making jokes and romanticizing death (as Brad Pitt). When somebody you know dies, a piece of the world falls away, and you’re left with a hole. People tell you to move on with your life, but as with most holes, it won’t be easy to forget that there is a hole there that you cannot fill. I think the way people “get over it” is not by filling the hole but by learning to live with that hole. Sometimes, it echoes

People may say that it’s your fault. That if you feel depressed or if you

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feel a Murakami-esque ennui, then it is YOUR responsibility to find something that will cheer you up. Music, dance, travel, love. The world, as they say, is a bright and wonderful place. I’d shoot back and say that the world is a floating piece of balled-up rock and water in a chaotic universe. At any point in time, the sun may explode, a meteor may crash into our puny planet, or a higher power may decide to scrap his life’s work and just start over. Everything is temporal and easily forgotten. Who will remember our species when our species is dead?

Of course, telling somebody to kill themselves–or wishing arbitrary ill on somebody, like telling them “Sana ma-rape ka” (“I hope you get raped”, something somebody actually told me as a “joke”)–is never a good way to end anything. The standard answer to “Magpakamatay ka na lang” is “Mauna ka” (“You go first”), but it still isn’t a good thing. These are threats to the person’s safety, and there is a line between joking around and being inconsiderate. For some reason, we are okay with these jokes and backand-forth banter, and if you are “hurt” when people tell you to go kill yourself, then you are considered weak (an actual argument I heard

JOKING ABOUT DEATH

from some people). Death is something we ought to consider with caution, and while I laugh at absurd death jokes and get intrigued with speculations about the afterlife, there are lines that ought not be crossed. Wishing people death, or telling somebody to go kill themselves is NOT funny at all. Sometimes, when

What if that person was actually considering killing himself and you just pushed him over the edge? His blood is on your hands. Whether or not you believe it and whether or not you know it, there are people who want to kill themselves and some of them may be in your circle of acquaintances.

we cannot find a rational way to end an argument, we’d say “Magpakamatay ka na lang” (“Why don’t you just kill yourself”). I’ve heard it many times, and sometimes, I see people on Twitter subtweet with “Ugh. Just go kill yourself.”

“If you are ‘hurt’ when people tell you to go kill yourself, then you are considered weak.”

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“It would make sense to say that the opposite of death would be something that creates things, brings things together. That would mean that the reasonable opposite of death would be love.”

WHY I’M NOT YET DEAD

Not that it would matter once I die. In the occasion that death is eternal nothingness, then everything we have done in life is futile. In the occasion that there is life beyond this life, everything we have done in this life will be rendered meaningless because we will be in a supposedly better place. Unless you end up in hell, which is probably the only reason why some “religious” people are afraid of dying; they are not yet ready because they acknowledge that they are sinners. Perhaps having faith that the Lord will not abandon you may be of help.

They say the opposite of death is not life. However, death is the end of life, which means that if life were a straight line, death would be at the end of it. Thus, death is not the opposite of life. Death is something that ends things, breaks everything apart. It would make sense to say that the opposite of death would be something that creates things, brings things together. That would mean that the reasonable opposite of death would be love. This might be why I’m still here. There are people I love, there are people who love me, there are things I love

Either way, this world is a cruel place only because people are capable of all kinds of cruelty–and there are those who will not be swayed when you tell them what they’ve done wrong or how they’ve hurt you. We are unwilling to change, thinking that we are so right all the time, believing that what we are doing is okay because so many people are doing it–not minding the

having, there are places I love to be, there is music and dance and all those (rare) moments when I am taken out of my comfort zone. I know it sounds cheesy and borderline new age, but while I still know how to love, I think I still know how to live.

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“Thinking about the fact that I’m going to die won’t really help me move forward in life.”

fact that you may be stepping on other people’s strengths, intellect, or spirit. So many people think that to be strong means to wish bad things to happen to other people. A bizarre opinion. I think discussion, no matter how “effeminate” people think it is (compared to the macho alternative: hitting each other on the head, spitting and cursing), is always the best way to solve misunderstandings. Sometimes, things are blown out of proportion before they are understood, before they are discussed. These people call themselves “strong”. No. In shutting down discussion, you are shutting down understanding, and in effect you

mean that somebody died of “old age”. I wonder how I would go. Or maybe I would die early–a car accident, a severe allergic reaction, or as a collateral damage in war. I do not know. But thinking about the fact that I’m going to die won’t really help me move forward in life. Living is a gift, a pleasure of experience. Our mere existence should be enough for us to be amazed by the incredible impossibility of the universe around us.

are shutting down the other person. This is cowardice–the inability to consider the possibility that you may, in fact, be wrong.

So that’s how I’m going from here. I know I’m going to die. Denying it’s looming shadow won’t do me any good. But basking in the darkness won’t either. With the limited time I have, I’ve got to accept that I’m stuck in this body and that this body is going to die, but also that this body

CONCLUDING THOUGHTS I don’t want to die (in the sense that I am not actively seeking my own demise). But I do not feel like I care about it. I often wonder how I would die. “Old age” may seem like a comforting way to die (because it implies that you’ve lived a full life), but it isn’t really why old people die. Heart failure, sudden massive stroke, or respiratory arrest are among the things that may happen when we

houses some sort of spirit that is capable of loving and being loved. The discussion continues.

Originally published on: sloppydasein.wordpress.com 9


QUOTABLE POSITIVITY Art by Nichele Cassandra Li 1


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What inspires you (in general: in life, in love, in art)?

The moment I realized that I have my whole life ahead of me, but like everybody else I can't tell how my future will be, I thought that the best way to live is to live in the moment. With a mindset like that, you inadvertently allow yourself to be so much more open to life, and being inspired by anything really. Today I can be watching Masterchef, and be thinking that I want to learn how to bake some smashing cupcakes right now... Tomorrow, I can be looking at the night sky, and find myself painting the view an hour later. I try not to be too absorbed in being just one thing; I desire to experience life exuberantly, and that outlook has made everything around me inspirational.

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What drew you to this form of art (i.e. lettering, bright colors)?

I only started experimenting with lettering last year. I've been receiving a bunch of requests to do inspirational quotes and I thought hey, I should give it a try. I decided that more than (focusing on) the penmanship itself, I wanted to breathe life into the words by mixing vivid colors —something that I'm fond of doing for as long as I remember. The overall aesthetics is what people first notice when they look at your art, and it has always made sense to me to choose the colors that can invoke a certain sense of calm, or passion... or whichever emotion the quote demands. Afterall, my job is not simply to make a string of words look good, but to make my readers feel something.

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Nichele Cassandra is a 22-year-old Business Management graduate who spends her free time whipping up something creative in her workspace. To know more about her world, visit http://www.thearticsoul.tumblr.com. 1


SET 1:

YOU

As the wind blows a silent hymn There you’ll hear words from within A power, which is kept under wraps From fear that it’ll fade or collapse

This hidden glow deep inside Gives you strength, becomes your guide Can be found in each of you It’s none other than a love that’s true

Yet don’t be fooled by usual claim It’s not about the knight and dame It’s stronger than a true loves kiss a feeling you won’t want to miss

You may ask what love is this? What love would grant me so much bliss? Believe me when I say it’s true That it’s none other than you loving you 1

(By Samantha Francisco)


glabella. I asked a question on social media, when I revealed that I’d be releasing a second issue. The question was: Do you/ should you love yourself? Why or why not? I was hoping that various people would give their insights on the matter, and that it would inspire a piece in this issue. I was very interested to see how people would answer the question. However, only one person responded. His name is Jonathan Diesta and I met him on Twitter. He said, “Mahalin natin ang ating sarili kagaya ng

pagmamahal natin sa ating kapwa at sa Diyos. Sa madaling salita, mahalin natin nang sapat ang ating sarili sa [pamamagitan ng] pagkakaroon ng tiwala. Wag lang masosobrahan!” I laughed a bit at the end. Thanks, Jonathan, for being part of this issue. I’d also like to thank those who shared their passion with me to fill the pages of this pet project. I hope to fill more pages in the course of this year. Thank you, dear reader, for gracing these pages with your attention. Finally, I’d also like to thank myself, for hanging on. -Carl For more Glabella, follow: issuu.com/sloppydasein 16

Glabella 02  

You deserve to be loved. In this issue: loving yourself, suicide, and bright colors.

Glabella 02  

You deserve to be loved. In this issue: loving yourself, suicide, and bright colors.

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