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CONTENT S Tsimtsum Survivor 5 Bushy Love 7 The Scoop 9 The Movie 9 Easy 900 Million 10 Interview 12 Nuclear Attack 13

Horoscope 15 Advice 16 Stereotypes 17 On The Sidewalk Bleeding 18 Letter 20 Who Am I? 21 Obituary 22 Comics 23




it”. It is not what happened to the ship though that intrigued many psychologists, it is what had happened to his mind. Piscine had spent about 227 MEXICO - On January the 7th a passenger of the doomed ship “the tsimtsum” was washed up on the Mexican shore. The Indian boy had survived 227 days on a lifeboat across the pacific. It is not that he is the only survivor that makes him an interesting character, but the tale of which he told when he arrived at the Mexico. Piscine Patel is an Indian boy who was passenger of the mysteriously dead cargo ship, the tsimtsum. Pi, as he likes to be called, and his family were on their journey to Winnipeg from Pondicherry, India. On May 21st 2007 he and his family boarded the Panamanianregistered Japanese cargo ship the tsimtsum from Madras. Pi said that when the tsimtsum sank he heard a “monstrous metallic burp”. He could not comment on what he thought might have happened to the ship. Rather he said, “Things didn’t turn out the way they were way they were supposed to, but what can you do? You must take life the way it comes at you and make the best of

days on a Lifeboat sailing the pacific, when he finally arrived to the shore of Mexico alone he was interviewed by Mr. Tomohiro Okamoto, of the Maritime Department in the Japanese Ministry of Transport, and Mr. Atsuro Chiba on January 19 2008. They reported that he told them a bedtime story about how with him on the boat he had a tiger, an Orangutan, a Zebra and a Hyena. All the animals except the tiger had died. When they said that they didn’t believe it he told a horrible blood-dripping story with human. It involved a Taiwanese sailor, a cook and his mother. Both stories were the exact same except that the characters were different. Pi Patel now lives in the St. James Orphanage at 353 St. Mary Avenue, Winnipeg. Care takers at the Orphanage report that he is very intelligent and his relationship with others is not average but he is very mature. Psychologists, that have studied the case, state that he imagined the story due to his stress over the tragic death of his family. What if he did not imagine it though, could it be 6

that man and animal can finally coincide with each other.

BUSHY LOVE Youssef Kodsy

Above is the Athenian Forest


ATHENS - On January 20th four young lovers were announced missing from their homes in central Athens. They were found on January the 21st, the following day, at a nearby forest. Their parents say that they ran away because of a marriage dispute, but upon the return of the four, the disagreement had been resolved. Hermia, Lysander, Demetrius and Helena escaped to the woods at the crust of their town. The marriage dispute was that Hermia’s father, Egues, wished for her to marry Demetrius, but she wants to marry Lysander. Helena loves Demetrius who still is very much in love with Hermia. After a meeting with the duke of Athens were Egues had attempted to get Hermia killed, Hermia made plans with Lysander to flee to Lysander’s aunt’s house were they would get married, but they would have to go through the forest. Demetrius being informed of the plans decides to follow them and try stopping the elopement. Helena followed Demetrius attempting to win back his love. Now four lovers tied up in love affairs were all heading to the same forest, this would be chaotic. When the Athenian Police came through the woods a day later the found the lovers. When they were found though, they stated that the marriage difficulty was over. They willingly went back to their homes and Demetrius explained that he no longer wished to marry Hermia, but now he wanted to marry Helena. The quadruples announced that they would get married with Theseus the duke of Athens and Hippolyta, queen of the Amazons.

When the lovers were asked to what happened overnight at the forest that changed Demetrius’s mind, they replied saying, “We don’t know”. The Police expect that there was alcohol involved which should explain the forgetfulness but not Demetrius’s change of heart. The couples are now happily and waiting their wedding with anticipation.

Above Hermia and Lysander, and Helena and Demetrius


THE THE SCOOP MOVIE Our Royal Spy reported a meeting of less celebration between Egues, Hermia, Lysander, Demetrius and the Duke about Marriage. It wasn’t about the Dukes marriage but about Hermia’s. Her father, Egues, wants for her to marry Demetrius who vows that he loves Hermia but so does Lysander. Hermia and Lysander are in love and which to marry and use the rumor of what happened between Demetrius and Helena as a reason for Hermia not to marry him. Egues puts it aside and asks the Duke for the full punishment for his daughter. She has the choice of Death, to be send to a convent or to marry Demetrius. What choice shall she make, the Duke gave her three days to think about it. On the Dukes weeding day she will give him her decision. She definitely wont go to the convent and she would rather die than marry Demetrius, but if she wont select death. Our Royal Spy commented that she expects for Lysander and Hermia to figure out a plan. True love never did run smooth.

This week’s movie “GO FOR IT” has been released. The movie revolves a character that just recently began skateboarding. The “experts” though insult him for trying to Skateboard and force him to quit not once but twice. Close to the end of the movie there a Skate Competition takes place with other “experts” and the protagonist manages to beat them at a game of S-K-A-T-E by gaping a staircase. Upon seeing the movie I thought that it was geared towards the youth market to encourage them to not be afraid to take up new things. The movie also gave the message of the power of the human spirit. GO FOR IT reflected these two concepts very well as the main character gave up twice but eventually preserved and became a great skateboarder hence he achieved the power of the human spirit. The movie featured popular actors such as Scoot, Kal-El and Jonas. The filming was spectacular as the camera was often switched to a Point of View shot were the camera replaced the characters eyes. They actors had acted very well filling their roles perfectly. This movie is the Dark Night meets Smart Guy, it is a combination of entertainment and a


powerful message. We give this movie a rating of 4.5 stars making it this weeks MTS, movie to see.

EASY 900 MILLION Youssef Kodsy

Above is Santiago on his journey


AL-FAYOUM Santiago Fernando a Spanish Shepherd made it quickly into the money game when finding an ancient treasure in a deserted church in Spain. After finding his treasure on January 5th 2009. Santiago gave a 10th of it to a gypsy, he than sold the treasure to a series of museums in different countries for 900 million dollar. He now sits as one of the richest men in Africa with a net worth of approximately 900 million dollars. There are plenty of game shows running that could give you a million dollars, some would even give you two. How about making 900 times that with just a simple trip. A Spanish Shepherd,

Santiago, came across a gypsy in Spain that prophesized that if he were to go to the Pyramids of Egypt he would find a treasure. He was also encountered by the King who stated her words were true. Since Santiago was very popular with travel, he decided to embark on the journey. He first left Spain and went into Tangier, where he had lost all his money so he worked in a Crystal Shop were he earned more than enough money to allow him to go to Egypt. He then used a Caravan to cross the desert and that was when his journey was interrupted by a war. Santiago was very persistent though and managed to find a man he called “The Alchemist� who helped him reach Egypt


even through the war. When he finally arrived to Egypt he ran into a gang at the Pyramids that advised that there was no treasure here, but they hinted that there was one back in a church in Spain that Santiago was familiar with. He left and headed to the church were he finally found his treasure filled with Spanish gold coins, precious stones, gold masks adorned with red and white feathers and stone statues embedded with jewels; the spoils of a conquest that the country had long forgotten. Santiago stated at an interview that he had to go to Egypt, because through the journey he found his “Personal Legend”, a sort of “Life Purpose”. If he were to have

gone straight to the church and become the millionaire that he is, it would not be the same, because he would not be the same person. 900 million dollars for finding your “Personal Legend”, that is a salary anybody would want. Santiago Fernando now lives in a restored15th century castle at Al-Fayum with his wife Fatima that he also stated he found on his journey.

Above is Santiago during his journey

one were you found your treasure

INT ERV IEW Youssef: Hello Mr. Fernando it is a dream to finally be able to meet you Santiago: It is a dream to be talking to you too and please call me Santiago Youssef: Okay Santiago, why don’t you tell us how your journey started? Santiago: My journey started when I had a dream in the Church in Spain Youssef: The Church in Spain, is that the

Santiago: Precisely, I didn’t understand the dream though so I went to the gypsy so she could explain it Youssef: Is that the Gypsy you gave a tenth of your treasure too Santiago: Spot on, the Gypsy said to me that if I were to go to the Pyramids of Egypt I would find a treasure, she said that upon my finding the treasure though I would have to return to her and give her tenth of the treasure Youssef: Yes Santiago: I left the Gypsy though not believing a thing that she had said, but soon after I encountered the


King of Spain that said her words were true he also talked to me about my personal legend and said to realize one’s destiny is a person’s only obligation, and that’s when I disembarked on my Journey

embedded with jewels, but what I thought about was not how much all these stones were worth, but of the journey getting to the treasure the people I had meet, the lessons I had learned and that Gypsy

Youssef: What is a Personal Legend?

Youssef: HAHAHA, well Santiago you’re an amazing guy it was a pleasure to interview you thank you for coming is there anything else you wish to say

Santiago: A Personal Legend is ones reason for living, it is their life purpose for existence Youssef: Interesting, but you know I have to ask you how it felt when you opened the treasure

Santiago: It was a pleasure to talk to you too and remember life is generous to those who find their Personal Legend

NU CLE AR ATT ACK Youssef Ko ds y

Santiago: HAHAHA, well when I opened the treasure I saw a box full of Spanish gold coins, precious stones, gold masks adorned with red and white feathers, and statues


Above is an image of the landing of the bomb

Above is a picture of the impact 100 miles away

NEW YORK CITY Yesterday, Thursday the 22nd a nuclear bomb hit New York City’s Aircraft Company. Rescue persons estimate that the Nuclear bomb ended the lives

of over 1’000 men, women and children. It is yet to be determined who released the bomb and of what purpose. Shortly after the attack hundreds of Rescue Trucks had been send to save any citizens whose hearts are still beating. Lives are still being saved. The sirens went on fifteen minutes before the attack and the announcer started counting down, adding more information as it arrived. A three person New Jersey family say that after hearing about the attack a short while after the sirens went off they felt frightened. The mother says that she felt frightened but her husband “remained calm and gave me a series of instructions that were key to our

survival”. After the intelligent family covered themselves with wool they hurried to the cellar room. They described that during the hit “the cellar instantaneously lit up with a glow we had never seen before, the earth began to rock and heave and an absolutely unearthly sound began”. After the attack by approximately four to five hours a rescue truck came their way and saved them. The family asked for their identities to remain secret but be assured they are physically unharmed.

billions of dollars, and it devastated an entire nation.

Search parties are still searching everywhere to find any survivors. The nuclear disaster terminated a thousand too many lives, it destroyed


HOR OSC OPE Aries: An Adventure awaits, at times the sand may get to rough but be sure not to cave in and give up.

Taurus: Your Love will come to you, just as long as you persevere through the shrubs

Gem ini: You will be fierce wild animal through a wet obstacle in life

Canc er: Through a hole in a wall you shall marry your love

Leo: Your trickery and evil acts will cause a serious disruption, with flowers be sure not to touch them

Virgo: Be sure to set your eyes on the Indian prize and off the behind

Sagittarius: Sometimes you need to sleep on your problems, by morning you wont like the outcome but it wont be your choice

Capricorn: Watch for your Good fellow he is not as good at fulfilling his job, as you believe

Libra: Remember Stage fright is a skill not a barrier

Aquarius: Plans you anticipate will be three times merrier with two unexpected star guests

Scorpio: Open your mind an exciting story shall be told

Pisces: Carry a map some alleyways you will go through are dead ends

ADV ICE Dear Reader, I was not born into a very religious family, but my aunt took me at a very young age and made me Hindu. Recently I have started to study other religions other than Hinduism, specifically Christianity and Islam. I have become very attached to them, all three of them, and have practiced all of them at the same time. I was encountered by holy men from all religions and they said I 15

couldn’t continue on this path of three religions. My family is also very unenthusiastic.

Dear Writer. If you believe that what you are doing is right and you enjoy praising in all three holy places nobody can stop you. I understand that all you want to do is love God and worship God. As long as you are happy and feel satisfied with your relationship with God it is okay.

Dear Reader, I was informed that if I was to go to a place far away from home that I would find a treasure. More than one person/thing confirmed that the treasure was real I would just have to travel thousands of miles away from home. My Job allows me to travel, I have no family, and so I am not tied up with anything at my hometown. Should I travel the long distance or should I stay home.

Hope this helps Reader

Best Regards, Writer

What should I do? Writer

Dear Writer, If you are not held back with anything from where you are from, you should definitely disembark on your journey. There is nothing worse than a journey missed.

As for your treasure, even if you don’t happen to find it, you will learn that the journey to your location was much more rewarding than any amount of ancient gold. Hope this helps Reader

STE R E O T Y P E S Youssef Ko ds y Stereotypes have become a part of our daily lives. The city streets have become a public police archive;


you walk down the road attempting to uncover a person’s life history from the first sight. Applying Stereotypes in daily life has helped many people walk down the city more relaxed. But while people are feeling relaxed many more are relaxing in a coffin because of Stereotypes. We walk on the street observing everybody around us, seeking a suspicious looking person that we can watch out for. Once we find that person all of our attention shifts in that defined way. We watch the person religiously until he notices and looks our way. We quickly shift our heads the other direction feeling very embarrassed and “in the spot

light”. We hurry up towards the next street, and once we are out of view we feel out life has been blessed. How do we select these “suspicious people” though? We select people that do not dress, walk or sound the same as us or the people close to us. A man wearing baggy jeans must also be carrying a gun. A man wearing a suit must also be driving a Benz, and a man wearing skinny jeans must also be carrying drugs. There are many other “Identities” and if you are outside that group then you fear them. When we judge people and assume to know their past, truth is we do not know anything about them because we have just seen them. After choosing the “person” or “people” we

stalk them, and any sudden movement they make could very well be their last. When they perform their sudden movement we expect the worst and do anything in our power to defend our selves. When a police officer pulls out a gun on a man wearing a baggy shirt. Or when a man wearing a suite throws a knife at a man wearing skinny jeans. Stereotyping is what leads to their death. Without Stereotypes countless innocent lives would be saved. We need to change now.




Youssef K o d s y

Above is an image of Mark Waley


TORONTO - a city cop shot Twenty nine year old innocent pedestrian on January 19th in a bad part of town. The Officer, Mark Waley, stated that he saw Wilmer Van driving a Mercedes-Benz that he expected was stolen, since Wilmer looked to be unshaven and wearing a leather Jacket with an insignia. The city officer reported that when Wilmer reached in his pocket for his wallet, he thought he was reaching for a gun and the officer had to react quickly, too quickly. Wilmer Van is an almost thirtyyear-old man who was born and raised in Toronto. His family said that on January the 19th Wilmer wished to eat Chinese food from a

restaurant at the other part of town. It was his day off from his dentistry so he decided that instead of ordering he would go and eat at the restaurant. He did not bother to look up the directions so he got lost in his $100 000+ Mercedes-Benz in a place were most gang violence happens. Mark Waley saw Mr. Van step out of his Benz and onto the streets, he realized that he was unshaven, wearing attire that was inappropriate for the car he was driving, Waley assumed the car was stolen. Eventually when Wilmer realized the officer was there he reached in his back pocket for his ID but Waley thought that Wilmer was reaching for a gun, the officer reacted. There

lay Wilmer Van on the sidewalk bleeding. Waley assumed many things, he assumed that the car was stolen. He assumed that Wilmer had a gun and he assumed that Mr. Van was “bad”. Don’t think once, think twice, maybe the next person you see in a “bad” neighborhood wont be “bad”.

Above is an image of Wilmer Van


LET T E R Dear Editor, I was telling two men about an experience that I have gone through in life. After I very patiently took the time to tell them about my experience, they denied anything of it to be true. They accused me of lying and having made up the story. The men said that my adventure had been “hard to believe� just because they have not seen it happen in their short

inexperienced life. What is it that has happened to people that causes them to not believe what an innocent boy says? Is it that lies are now too common in our society or just that our imagination is no longer exercised enough to imagine what people speak to us about and realize it is of truth. Unhappy



OBI T U A R Y Wilmer Van Wilmer Van was ACROSS 12 I want the Indian boyshot by a city 1 I enjoy the Piscine 13 I need to ruin someone's cop day. when he 3 My acting is not average 14 Lysander is evil saw Wilmer 5 He does not love me. reach for his 6 The Duke cannot wait to marry me wallet. The 8 I want the Indian boy police officer 11 I do not like her anymore. thought that 13 This is my hunters last name Wilmer had 15 My first name is Peter been scared by 16 My father is forcing a marriage. the thought that Wilmer had been caring a DOWN Gun. Wilmer 2 I am from Spain. was born May 4 I need to transform something. 3rd 1979 in 7 My name is not Pissing. Toronto, where 9 Why wont he let me marry her. he was raised. 10 I cant wait till three days pass His teachers say

that he was a joy to teach and a very intellectual student. Wilmer went on to the University of Toronto where he became a licensed Dentist with a PHD. Wilmer was very loyal to his family and his parents say that he was always there for them. Wilmer Van’s funereal will occur January 31st at the St. James Cemetery. Ravi Patel Ravi Patel was one of the unfortunate deaths in the sinking of the Tsimtsum. He is described to be very popular, athletic and a teasing older brother. Pi Patel, his brother, stated that Ravi was rough on the outside but soft on the inside. Gita Patel Gita Patel was one of the


unfortunate deaths in the sinking of the Tsimtsum. She was mother to two sons, she is known to be quiet, nice, and very gentle with her children. Her son Pi Patel says that his mother always had her nose in a book but once she would get her nose out of it she would be everything her children needed her to be.

Santosh Patel Santosh Patel was one of the unfortunate deaths in the sinking of the Tsimtsum. Santosh was described by his son as the male lion. Santosh would always protect his children and family and would do anything in his capabilities to

ensure they were safe and comfortable, but he loved his children unconditionally.





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