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Quotes out of Context

“Well what kind of conversation can you have with a satanist?” “My boxers smell like Oreos if I don’t wash them for a while. Sweet.” “The library was out of all the Hobbes books, so I just go Leo Strauss’s commentary instead. That’s all that really matters here anyway, right?”

By Maxine Worthy

While disscussing Rousseau: “I’d rather be collecting coffee beans in the youth of my life instead of when I’m old and decrepit.”

By Katy Edwards

Between Embraces By Ryan Riner And bringing love into your bedroom Does nothing for your exhausted soul The twisting of freshly damp sheets Makes a mess no one could get rest from

And he never really loved you anyway And she never really cared about your love So when you’re left panting and ceiling staring With sweat trickling across your tense shoulders Make sure to make room between the two of you For the sly shadow of Peeping Tom Regret Then slide awkward into your scattered clothes And lose yourself in the cold hug of the walk home Maybe you’ll find what you’re looking so hard for In the spaces between these indifferent embraces Maybe

A male student, addressing a female student as an example: “Why should I care about you? You’re not of my seed. We’re not related.” Tutor: “Where are you going with this?” Student: “We don’t share conjugal love... Will you go out with me?” While disscussing Hobbes, human nature, and the rule of law: “People have pointed guns at me to rob me in Mexico. But if anyone tried to mug me here, I’d beat the sh-t out of him.” In a freshman math class: “Is the magnitude of a chipmunk proportional to the amount you shake it and make it angry?” Student A: “I spend all night working on this Archimedes prop, and I love Archimedes.” (Student bombs prop) Student B: “Looks like Archimedes doesn’t love you!” (Student A begins to cry) Tutor: “You’re gonna need to buck up if you’re gonna make it to junior year.”

By Claire Hitchcock Tilton

Student A: “Why’d you publish that quote about me?” Student B: “No one knew it was you until you told them.” Student A: *begins to cry* “Zeus Juice! Lightning in a cup!” Photos by Bryce Corkins

St. John’s Crossword Puzzle “The Father of All Things” By Alexander Wood

ACROSS 1. Oil source 7. Curriculum _______ 12. “American ____” 16. Clothing 17. Accustom 18. Mangrove palm 19. Diamond stem, to Euclid?

20. Gin’s partner 21. _____ row 22. Tabloids are ______ 24. Like some organs 25. Enron, on the NYSE 26. Finger, in a way 27. To record 68 across, perhaps 28. Icelandic epic

By Rachel Sims

30. Sold one’s virtue 34., e.g. 36. “Home _______” 37. Seminar faux pas 41. A rake, in Rheims 42. Deckhand 46. William F. Buckley,e.g. 49. “Naked Maja” painter 50. Barber’s job 51. Treated brutally 52. “Behold!” 53. Beldam 54. “Poetry is ______ fermented” 60. Harp’s cousin 63. Eyetooth 64. A perimeter encloses it 66. Informercials, e.g. 68. Simple chord 69. Crank drill 73. Russian vodka brand 74. Tree part 75. Contemptible 76. Arm bone 77. Nothing, to Seneca 78. “Can’t Buy A ______” 79. Bungle, with “up” 80. Breviloquent 81. Couch DOWN 1. Analyze, after a fashion 2. Simplest alkene compound 3. Made up for 4. FEMA response system, abbr. 5. City, in general 6. Philly crime boss Philip 7. Political executive in denial? 8. Knowing, as a secret 9. Charlie, for one

10. Husk 11. EC predecessor 12. Undisturbed 13. Russian command 14. Calmer 15. Dispensed 23. Babysitter’s handful 24. Cast a ballot 27. Persian defeat, 627 AD 29. Tropical grass 31. Crew member 32. ____ gin fizz 33. Charles Martel’s victory, 732 AD 35. Intolerance victim? 37. Kind of shot 38. 1969 Peace Prize grp. 39. Chester White’s home 40. Column style 42. Theatrical, as a personality 43. Top secret? 44. “____ Maria” 45. Fourposter, e.g. 47. Bonaparte’s 1798 AD defeat 48. Mountain disaster 52. Peddle 54. Octavian’s victory, 31 BC 55. To make obscure 56. Pizza toppings 57. Rainforest vines 58. Witch’s laugh 59. “Able I was, _____ I saw Elba” 61. Cottontail 62. Like some mushrooms 65. Bridge positions 67. Panache 69. Cheese on crackers 70. German defeat, 1945 71. Cuckoos 72. Blowgun ammo 74. Atlanta-based station

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