The Unsung Manifestos: Religion Realigned

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Indoctrination Inactivity



Indoctrination Inactivity


Copyright © 2021, Picador Publishing Inc. Edited by Simran J. Rao Cover and layout design by Simran J. Rao ISBN-13: 876-1-54321-891-2 No part of this book may be reproduced, translated, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, microfilming, recording, or otherwise, without written permission from the publisher. Picador Publishing grants the individual purchasing this book permission to photocopy original activity pages for single classroom use. This permission does not include electronic reproduction rights. Should you wish to make copies of materials we sourced or licensed from others, request permission from the original publisher before reproducing that material. Printed in the United States of America. At the time of this book’s publication, all facts and figures cited are the most current available; all telephone numbers, addresses, and website URLs are accurate and active; all publications, organizations, websites, and other resources exist as described in this book; and all have been verified. The author and Picador Publishing make no warranty or guarantee concerning the information and materials given out by the organization or content found at websites, and we are not responsible for any changes that occur after this book’s publication. If you find an error or believe that a resource listed here is not as described, please contact Picador Publishing. Picador Publishing Inc P.O Box 1212 New York, NY 212-331-2231 Phone: (543) 432-1234 Fax: (432) 432-3424 http://www.picador.com


Contents Introduction

Unit I Invisible Pink Unicorn 1 2 3 4 5 6

09

Summary of the Major Articles of Faith ............................................... 09 Tony Lawrence: The Ten Commandments .......................................... 10 The Book of Prophet April ....................................................................... 13 The Gospel According to St. Sascha Kokott ........................................ 15 Jerry Phillips’ Revelation .......................................................................... 17 Miracles of the Invisible Pink Unicorn .................................................. 18

Unit II The Flying Spaghetti Monster 7 8 9 10 11

v ii

19

Intelligent Design ........................................................................................ 19 Beliefs: Creation, Pirates and Holidays ................................................. 20 A Brief History: The Beginning .............................................................. 23 The Golden Age of Pirates ....................................................................... 25 Of Pasta and Pirates ................................................................................... 27

Unit III Raëlism

29

12 The Raelian Movement .......................................................................... 29 13 Symbol ........................................................................................................ 30 14 Elohim Civilization .................................................................................. 32 Credits

33



Introduction During the conceptualization and formation of every religion, it is probable that many people questioned and were judgmental towards the ideologies and thoughts that were emerging. Now, some of these religions have billions of followers spanning the globe and are treated with respect and importance for the most part. This book spotlights the more obscure and lesser-known religions that are still at a comparatively young stage. Their lack of mass followings do not give them the same gravitas that the larger religions benefit from, and therefore they are still looked down upon and not taken too seriously. This is to highlight how equally illogical all religions are and though some are treated with gravitas in today’s society, it does not equate to believing something more plausible than the contents in these books. This book intends to allow the reader to contextualize these religions in the forms that they are placed in and attempt to imagine the religions as fairytales, science-fiction, or even completely factual. All religion has been perceived, at some point, in one of these forms during its’ evolution. People have different interpretations of religions based on what they believe in. It can be challenging for young adults to evolve into all-rounded grown-ups with religion being a forced anchor on them and their inborn beliefs. These books are formatted in contexts that they might interact with, in the hopes that their per-

ceptions of religion might expand, and allow them to see parallels between the mainstream religions and the ones highlighted in the book, understanding that every religion starts at this stage.

INTRODUCTION | vii



SECTION

1

The Invisible Pink Unicorn

What You Will Learn... Main Ideas 1. The despicable Purple Oyster (of

Doom).

2. Tony Lawrence : The Ten

Commandments.

3. The Invisible Pink Unicorns is

based upon both logic and faith. We have faith that they are pink; we logically know that they are invisible because we can’t see them.

The Big Idea We believe in One Unicorn, The Pink, The Invisible. Her Revelations show us the folly of all Religions. Spread Her Word.

Key Terms and People IPU, p 09 Invisible Pink Unicorn, p 10 Purple Oyster, p 11 Her Pinkness, p 12 St. Sascha Kokott, p 15 Jerry Phillips, p 16 Magnolia, p 17 Steven L. Preszler, p 18

Introduction Our Lady Unicorn is Pink and Invisible. She prefers Pineapple and Ham Pizza to Pepperoni and Mushroom. The latter is said to be eaten only by followers of the despicable Purple Oyster (of Doom).

Summary of the Major Articles of Faith The Followers of the IPU have more Holy Days than those of all other faiths put together, as any Holy Day of any faith is automatically an IPU Holy Day. Holy Days are used by the Faithful to sow seeds of doubt and uncertainty in the minds of addicts of other religions. The Holiest Day of the Year is April 1st. It is the day on which the She suggests we find a religious nut and say “There is as much evidence for the existence of your god/gods as there is for the Invisible Pink Unicorn, why don’t you check out her web-site, maybe you’ll learn something?” A significant number to followers of the IPU is 42. It is the answer to the question, “What is the meaning of life, the universe, and everything?” Importantly, if you add together the digits of the year in which she was revealed, (1+9+9+4) you get 23. If you add 4 (for Her hooves), add 2 (Her ears) add 2 (Her eyes) add 1 (Her Horn), add 1 (Her tail) then add 9 the result is also 42. This proves the significance of Two Score and Two. THE INVISIBLE PINK UNICORN | 09


The New Revised Amalgamated Standard Creed We believe in One Unicorn, The Pink, The Invisible. Creator of Uncertainty, revealed to us in the alt.atheist usenet forum - She that Raptures Socks. She will smite those that mock Her brethren. Others believe baloney, we too will join the feast. We shall eat our fill, yea every belly shall be full of ham and pineapple pizza. Her Revelations show us the folly of all Religions. Spread Her Word.

Invisible Pink Unicorns are beings of great spiritual power. We know this because they are capable of being invisible and pink at the same time. Like all religions, the Faith of the Invisible Pink Unicorns is based upon both logic and faith. We have faith that they are pink; we logically know that they are invisible because we can’t see them. Steve Eley

Tony Lawrence : The Ten Commandments The IPU shook her mane and stamped her feet impatiently. Her Holy Nostrils flared. "Anything else?" she inquired of the Man who stood quivering in front of her. "Um…" The Man was obviously nervous. He was not enjoying this conversation, and the IPU's growing impatience was not helping. "Um, yes, we are, um, not…" The Man paused and then continued in a rush, "not supposed to covet our neighbour's wife!" 10 | CHAPTER ONE

Img 1.1 A Pink Unicorn

The IPU snorted loudly. "That's rich!" she bellowed. "Now THAT ought to be an easy one for you insatiable little monkey spawn. I'll just bet!" she chortled. The Man shuffled his feet and stared at the ground. A small slug was crawling slowly through the leaves at his feet. The Man wished he could crawl off somewhere else. But the IPU was not finished with her interrogation. "You have missed one. I believe you said there were ten commandments, and you have only told me nine. What is the tenth, insignificant turd?" The Man swallowed hard. Hands clenched, he gritted his teeth and raised his head. He stared into the flashing eyes of the Holy IPU. "We are tmf nthr ds for em". "WHAT!" The Holy IPU fixed the Man in her regal stare. "Speak up, you ugly pink ape!"


The Man's hands were shaking and his tongue could not work. He opened his mouth, closed it, then opened it again. Finally, eyes winced against the inexorable results, he spoke: "We are to have no other gods before Him." He closed his eyes and waited for the Fiery Breath to consume him. Nothing happened. Cautiously, the Man opened his eyes. The Holy IPU was simply standing in front of him, and actually she looked more amused than angry. "No other gods?" she asked. "As in, no worshipping of the One True God, Her Incredible Pinkness? No worship of ME?

The Man again found the slug to be the focus of his concentration. Something about its slow progress through the field encouraged him. The slug would reach its destination, and he, the Man, would also survive this day. The Holy IPU would not reduce him to a pile of cinders to be blown away by the summer wind. The IPU spoke again. "Where is this Mighty One who is so jealous of Me?" she asked. "Have you seen Him?" READING CHECK

Summarizing What does the interaction between The Man and IPU represent metaphorically?

Img 1.2 The IPU Symbol THE INVISIBLE PINK UNICORN | 11


Img 1.3 The IPU Symbol

The Man looked at her once again. "I have not, but Moses has. The Lord spoke to him from a burning bush." "Cheap carnival trick," offered Her Pinkness. "I don't suppose you've seen any tangible evidence of this Dude's presence, then. How about intangibles? Healing of the sick, bountiful crops, that sort of thing? Actually, I thought the harvest was pretty poor this year. Shouldn't your Pal have prevented that?" The Man's face plainly displayed anger. He was well aware of the IPU"s refusal to even listen to entreaties for assistance. She didn't care if his people lived or died, and made it well known. Pleas for assistance were greeted with nothing but insults and laughter, if they were even entertained at all. "There has been sin." The Holy IPU raised her eyebrows. "Sin? Oh, how handy. Let me guess: I bet there's been some coveting, and some bearing of false witness, and perhaps some harsh words by teenagers to their parents, so conveniently enough, your Invisible Pal doesn't have to shower you with bounty. How beautifully done: set you up for failure, then get you to blame yourselves. I love it!" "God is not Invisible. God is everywhere!" The Man was sullen, but was 12 | CHAPTER ONE

also remembering a certain bit of coveting that he was guilty of. He hated to think that it might be his fault that the crops were bad, but… The IPU shook her mane, and looked off across the field. "Go away, Man." She spoke softly, even kindly. Usually her words were caustic, full of sarcasm and disgust. But now she seemed almost tender. No fire was in her eyes, and her hooves were not pounding the earth. "Go away," she repeated.

Remember! “Go and pray to your invisible friend. Chastise yourself, and praise him. Punish everyone who will not join you in your delusion. Feel good about that, and believe that your Make Believe Buddy will reward you for your cruelty. Take his commandments, and rule your life by their words. Do not question anything, do not use your pitiful mind; simply give yourself over to this pathetic dream.”

The IPU now looked sad. "You know, in spite of the fact that you are all incredibly ugly and hopelessly stupid, I had some hope for you." She paused, and looked again at the Man who stood before her, still afraid, but now confused by her inexplicable reversal of attitude. "Things could have been different", she said, and then vanished in a puff of Pinkness. The Man stood alone in the field. The last rays of the sun length-


ened his shadow to where the IPU had stood. The grass was even now straightening up from the imprint of her hooves, and soon there would be no remaining trace of her presence at all. The slug had managed to move an entire pace away from the Man's foot. He stepped forward, bent down, and popped it in his mouth. Gods suck, he thought as he walked back to his village. READING CHECK

Explain What is the point Tony Lawrence is trying to make? Do you agree?

Chapter 1 Verily am I blessed among women, for I have had revealed unto me the Truthful Doctrine of the Invisible Pink Unicorn (Peace Be Unto Her). And this was the manner of it. For I was wandering and confused upon the beaches of A/sa/teague, when I was approached by a small and shaggy pony, which did attempt to eat the apple which I was holding. “Away,” I cried. “Foul beast, would you steal the apple which is mine?” Then did the pony look down upon me, and spake:

“ Child, do you not know me?

And I said, “Verily, it is not my habit to consort with local wildlife.. “ – The Pony

Img 1.4 Invisible Tony Lawrence

The Book of the Prophet April OK, so I, having too much to do already, had my imagination caught by the idea of formalised IPU stuff. Presuming far too greatly, I’ve even decided to be a Prophet. Move over, John Smith. So below is a sample. If I get enough positive email, or at least not too much “quit wasting our time” responses, I’ll post further Chapters and make a real nuisance of myself.

And the pony spake thus: “Quit it with the ‘verily’ bit, OK? Know, then, you ignorant heathen, that you are in the Presence of the One you have sought, but never found.” And lo! the shaggy pony disappeared, and I felt myself to be in the Presence. And indeed was the Presence pink, and shaped like unto a unicorn. Yet such was the overwhelming nature of the Presence that I could not, in truth, look upon it. For indeed, my friends, it is for this

Img 1.5 Poster for IPU THE INVISIBLE PINK UNICORN | 13


Img 1.6 An IPU shaped cloud

reason that the great Pink Unicorn is called Invisible, and that is, that the Presence is too great for our small eyes to truly see, and too awesome for our small minds to comprehend. It is by our faith alone that we know her to be Pink, and a Unicorn. And truly those who say otherwise are heretics and unbelievers, and shall be cast into the Great Manure Pile where her Sacred Dwarves shall indeed nibble on their kneecaps for all eternity. And serve them right. Yet when I felt myself to be in the Presence I was afraid. And I cast myself face down in the sand and begged, “O Galloping Goddess, forgive me that I did not know you, and do not send me forth to eat lunch with your ancient foe, the Purple Oyster of Doom. For he will force me to eat pizza with pepperoni and mushrooms, and I shall be most afflicted.” “And furthermore shall you know that Did you know? And Her Pinkness proclaimed, “Do not be afraid, my servant, for you have been misled by the false prophets who quote Chapters and Verses of books which do not exist. And yet I have also revealed to them the Eternal Truth, and indeed have they mangled it.”

14 | CHAPTER ONE

it is fitting that I be celebrated by prophets who do not exist, in verses that do not exist, for books that do not exist. For my own existence is of a dubious and contradictory nature, and I like it that way.” Then was I much confused, whereat I asked, “Then how, O You Whose Hooves Are Never Shod, shall I know how to behave myself, if even Your holy books are not to be believed?” And thus spoke She Who Is Pink, and said, “That is what I shall tell you, for I shall reveal to you the Truth, if you will just shut up and listen. And verily, get your face outta the sand.” READING CHECK

Explain In your own words, what is the most important point made?

Chapter 2 And the Invisible Pink Unicorn spoke unto me, and said, "Write this stuff down." Therefore did I search my pockets, and came up with a bunch of 3x5 index cards, and also a ballpoint pen. Then did Her Equine Self touch the pen with Her marvellous horn, and lo! it turned pink! And I was much amazed, and began jotting down this account. And I said unto the Principle of Unicornity, "If we're going to be really appropriate, shouldn't this be in invisible ink?" Surely then was the Great One annoyed, and She spake, and said, "Do not be a wise-ass, my child, unless you want a hoof-print in your forehead. But, if you must know,


when you post this to the Internet, which is the centre of My worship, then indeed shall the pinkness of the writing be invisible." Thus was I first afflicted by the terrible jokes of Her Invisible Pink Glory. And the Unicorn spoke again, saying,

“ Write this. First, know that there is

not merely one doom reserved for unbelievers, but a Very Big Number. Therefore am I shown to be greater than any other deity. For who else can boast the Hell #655, wherein transgressors are punished by having to listen to the endless drivel of uncountable net.kooks? “

"Who else can boast Hell #333, where fundamentalists are continually sawn in half by stage magicians?" "Oh, and note down that there is no Hell #666. For that would be too easy." So did I write all that down, and the Invisible Unicorn said, "Come again next week." And the Holy Writings on the Sacred 3x5 Index Cards in the Blessed (Invisible) Pink Ink were put in the Very Devout Plastic File Box, where I left them, buried in the sands of A/sa/teague.

Img 1.7 Followers of IPU

The Gospel According to St. Sascha Kokott "If thou were to behold me thou wouldst surely die," sayest the Invisible Pink Unicorn, "for thou canst not see both my pinkness for it is invisible." Then came one Bob of the Burger King, devout and of repute before the law the son of Ed, the TV repairman, son of Anderson the town drunk, son of Michael the shoeman.

Img 1.8 IPU Posters

On this day Bob tempted her Excellency by attempting to view Her Pinkness' pinkness. Her Excellence was moved with anger: "How darest thou oh Man to view my pinkness I shall smite thee with bad spam." Then the Lord Goddess smit the Burger King with bad spam, and all of the inhabitants thereof had a Maalox night. But the people made prayer and supplications thereof, and the Goddess was pleased with the sweet odour of the bacon double cheeseburger with fries, she therefore made a proclamation: THE INVISIBLE PINK UNICORN | 15


“ I shall set my bow(tie) in the heavens

that never shall I again smite Burger King employees with bad spam. For the inhabitants thereof may taste of my mercy and see that my invisible pinkness is all.” I am the Invisible Pink Unicorn and there is not any other… I know not any. “

Revelation Of The Lost Prophetess Of AOL These revelations came to us in 1995 from the Religion and Ethics forums of AOL. We are searching for the Prophetess that brought them to us. The Shrine of the IPU is the Laundry Room. It is proved because, if you notice in your socks - you often find holes in them when you pull them out of the dryer pierced by her horn during a visitation to your shrine - doubt it not! Sometimes the whole wash comes out pink - a proof of Her Pinkness if there ever was one. It is said that She cavorts with one of her chosen Stallions in the midst of the spinning laundry. It is the afterglow of their lovemaking that imbues clothes with Her pinkness. Also ye may know that ye have been especially blessed if you find that one of your socks has gone missing. Surely a sign from Her Horniness. If anyone questions why ye are missing a sock, simply reply "My Mistress had need of it." No one is certain what She does with the socks, but rejoice for ye were chosen to make this sacrifice. READING CHECK

16 | CHAPTER ONE

Discuss What is the Revelation Of The Lost Prophetess of AOL? How would you interpret it? Visually or verbally?

Jerry Phillips’ Revelation And I Jerry was delivered into a deep pink cloud. Through the immaculate pinkness of this cloud I heard the voices of ten thousand Mr. Eds saying: "Glory! Glory! Glory! Thy pinkness is worthy of all worship! We will kneel before thy horn and forever sing thy praises! Only thou can lead us to the one source of lifesavers." Suddenly I was standing before the golden tinted pink stall of his One Hornness. His One Hornness said to me, "I have selected you for my messenger. Listen closely for it will be your responsibility to deliver my rules to your people in cyber space." I fell speechless before his hugeness. I fell asleep and time passed… His One Hornness told me of a future with computers weeping and wailing. I fell before the stall in full prostration. "What can I do?" He said: "Spread my pinkness." I am spreading his pinkness to all the world. My special calling is to create

Img 1.9 An Invisible Pink Unicorn


Magnolia’s Revelation After eating some pizza the other day I was flossing my teeth and thinking about the IPU (PBUH) and praising her pinkness when I suddenly stopped dead and began staring at my tongue. This amazing feeling of awe overcame me, along with a distinct minty taste. Img 1.10 Invisible Jerry Phillips

a prison ministry to deliver those behind bars. I will set them pink. Glory. A note from the Most High Llama, Rich Daniel, Most High Priest of the IPU Although everything in Jerry's vision is absolutely true and must be accepted without question by the faithful, one minor aspect of his interpretation of the vision is in error: He mistakenly assumed that the IPU is male. We know She's female because, … well, the High Priestess says so. And, er, … Oh! Because all the visions of all the other prophets have been of a Unicorn whose divine character is the very essence of Femininity. In particular, Saint Angee Dyer always referred to the Galloping Goddess as female, and she's a veterinarian with sufficient personal equine contact to settle the matter. Let me stress again that, although Jerry and all the other prophets are divinely inspired, sometimes the Goddess does not dictate the exact words of a revelation, choosing instead to allow the human vessels to express their visions in their own way. This adds character and human interest to the scriptures without detracting in any way from the Truth of the Message.

The minty taste was from the dental floss, but the feeling of awe arose because I suddenly noticed that my tongue was pink. I realized suddenly that I was also incredibly horny. Now, think about this: pink and horny. Of what does that remind you? You’ve got it: the IPU! I defy anyone to not find a part of their body that is pink. I defy anyone to admit that they have never been horny. Just one more sign in our daily lives of the undeniable truth of the Invisible Pink Unicorn (PBUH)!!

An Unknown Apostle’s Revelation I have been inspired by the IPU Herself to write this. All hail in her Pinkish Hue! It has been delivered onto me, by the divine elven prophets that the IPU gave Her only begotton saddle, so that we may be free to join Her in the Divine Stables. (No one shalt write the words "Divine Stable" as it will surely result in death!) She said onto me: "Whoever shalt eat my hay, and apply thy tongue to My salt-lick, shall be able to graze in eternal peace!" THE INVISIBLE PINK UNICORN | 17


She then gaveth me Her Divine Commandments: (She spoke: "If thou writeth Thy Commandments, Ye shalt surely DIE!") 1.Thou shalt not use spurs. 2.Thou shalt not be made into meat. products and sold to schools for profit. 3. Thou shalt not lead us to water, for we will not be made to drink! 4.Thou shalt not worship any other color except Divine Pink! Heed these words, it is written!

valley and bring large amounts of rain. This gave me a tail wind which improved my gas mileage enough to reach home. It appears that the storm that gave me such good gas mileage is going to cause wide spread flooding up and down the valley but I suspect that the people who will get flooded out are unbelievers living contrary to the laws of the IPU. READING CHECK

Discuss Thy Commandments and explain their meaning.

Chapter 1 Review Fill in the blanks Our ________ Unicorn is _________ and ____________. She prefers Pineapple and Ham Pizza to _______________ and _____________. The latter is said to be eaten only by followers of the despicable ______________________.

Fun Facts! • Her Holy Horniness is “All P in K”, where P is the magic prancing and K is the… but I dare not say… Img 1.11 The Unkown Apostle

Miracles of the Invisible Pink Unicorn Steven L. Preszler recounted: I was driving from Sacramento to home with just a half tank of gas in my car. That is not nearly enough and since I didn’t have any money or credit to buy gas, I decided to pray to the IPU for help. The IPU answered my prayers and I made it home with just enough gas to reach my driveway. The IPU worked in a mysterious way by allowing a big storm to blow a strong southerly wind up the central 18 | CHAPTER ONE

• Man has always sought after the IPU, only we’ve been perceiving Her imperfectally. Now that She has revealed Herself to us, we know the Truth with certainty. • Theres also the various names I’ve heard her called, including Our Galloping Goddess, Her Pinkness and She Whose Hooves are Never Shod. Her book is, of course, The Big Golden Book of Atheism.

Test Yourself! 1. Define IPU. 2. Explain Her Pinkess the way you interpret it. 3. Explain Jerry Phillips’ Revelation. 4. Identify the key points in the Unknown Apostle’s Revelation.


SECTION

2

What You Will Learn...

The Flying Spaghetti Monster

Main Ideas 1. FSM is a big, floating blob of

pasta noodles with two eyeballs on top and two meatballs at either side of its ‘body’. 2. Intelligent design is the idea or belief that an omnipotent being is the sole creator of the world and designer of the entire universe. 3. ‘Creationism’, related to the beliefs of numerous religious groups.

The Big Idea The theory of evolution states that life forms and everything else simply evolved by themselves through millions of years.

Key Terms and People Bobby Henderson, p 19 Pastafarianism, p 19 Intelligent Design, p 19 Automated Creationism, p 21 R’amen, p 22 His Noodly Appendage, p 25

Introduction The Flying Spaghetti Monster or FSM is supposedly a supernatural being, reminiscent of a big, floating blob of pasta noodles with two eyeballs on top and two meatballs at either side of its ‘body’. This is the so-called deity that the Pastafarians ‘worship’. The Flying Spaghetti Monster is the brainchild of Bobby Henderson in 2005, who at the time was an unemployed physics graduate. The character was first publicized when Henderson posted an open letter to the Kansas School Board on his internet site. His intention for the letter was to voice out his concern regarding the Kansas School Board’s decision to include the teaching of Intelligent Design along with the Theory of Evolution in Science subjects in the curriculum of its public schools.

Intelligent Design Intelligent design is the idea or belief that an omnipotent being is the sole creator of the world and designer of the entire universe. This is often referred to as ‘creationism’, and related to the beliefs of numerous religious groups. In contrast, the theory of evolution states that life forms and everything else simply evolved by themselves through millions of years. He claims that if people were allowed to teach Intelligent Design as a science in public schools, then the teachings of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti

h

h

THE FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER | 19


Img 2.1 Touched by His Noodly Appendage

Monster should be taught as well, since they have equal rights as beliefs. Secondly, the Pastafarians, as they are called, are described as somewhat an anti-religious religion (though they explicitly deny this on their website), spreading their propaganda through many creative ways like paintings, posters, website blogs, photos and videos. A book was also published by Henderson, describing and elaborating on the Pastafarian beliefs he wrote about in his letter. The book was entitled ‘The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster’. The book is a very elaborate satyr and an eloquently-worded criticism of both Intelligent Design and evolutionary theory. READING CHECK

Summarizing What is Intelligent Design and how is it related to ‛creationism’ ?

Beliefs: Creation, Pirates and Holidays. The Flying Spaghetti Monster is the deity of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. His Goodness is a heap 20 | CHAPTER TWO

of spaghetti and meatballs with a pair of eyes attached to noodly body by stalks. According to the Gospel of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, the spaghetti monster created the Earth some 2000 years ago. The Pastafarian creation myth conveys the Beginning as follows:

“The spaghetti monster is the

ultimate truth of the world-invisible, capable of flight, and incredibly clever In fact, His immeasurable knowledge enabled Him to create the world and all the things and life in it.“

On the first day, the spaghetti monster created mountains, trees, and small humans. The small humans were called midgets, and it is said that they were very short because the spaghetti monster has pushed them too much to the ground. The next three days were spent in creating the other things, drinking from the beer volcanoes, and creating again some


things that were already formed. The spaghetti monster also did not forget to add the false evidence and fake carbon atoms to fool scientists later on. After a lot of work, he rested for three days.

Automated Creationism Some believers of the spaghetti monster likewise embraced the controversial Automated Creationism theory. This theory proposes that everything that exists now is pre-planned by the spaghetti monster and triggered to existence through the Big Boil. The Flying Spaghetti Monster delighted in confounding scientists too much that he planted false evolutionary evidence all over the earth. The spaghetti monster also often played with radiocarbon dating test results, altering them from time to time. This led to scientists asserting that the earth is billions of years old. Another exceptional and equally important belief in Pastafarianism is the role played by the original pirates in history. The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster believes that the original

Img 2.2 FSM Fremont Solstice Parade

Img 2.3 Poster by James Dunbar

pirates were the first Pastafarians. They believe that the original pirates were good-natured and adventurous fellows who loved to give away candies to children. These pirates had a really good reputation until the Christian missionaries and Hare Krishnas spread corrupt stories about them. The Gospel of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster revealed that the decreasing number of pirates in the present is the leading cause of global warming and natural disasters such as earthquakes and hurricanes. This is corroborated by a chart that showed the increase in the occurrence of disasters as the number of pirates went down. To help alleviate the situation, believers of the spaghetti monster talk like pirates and don full pirate regalia during holidays, rituals, festivities, and even regular days. Among the most popular Pastafarian. Holidays THE FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER | 21


Did you know?

Two of the best known leaders of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster were pirates. They were Mosey, captain of the good ship Lasagne, and the legendary Blackbeard. Captain Mosey was the first prophet and the person entrusted with the 10 stone tablets containing the flying spaghetti monster’s wishes. He dropped two of the tablets while descending Mt. Salsa, leaving only eight “I Really Rather You Didn’ts” to be obeyed by the people. These eight “I Really Rather You Didn’ts” teach followers how to live according to the spaghetti monster’s requirements. They guide the flying spaghetti monsterist’s lifestyle and decisions regarding their devotion, nutrition, and correlation with non-believers.

are the International Talk like a Pirate Day, the Halloween, the Pastover, and the Ramendan. The Talk like a Pirate Day, celebrated on the 19thof September, is the Church of the Spaghetti Monster equivalent of Christmas. The Pastover is like the Jewish Passover, and celebrating it entails a lot of pasta. The Ramendan is the fasting holiday, where flying spaghetti monsterists only eat ramen for the whole day. Every Friday is considered a holiday too. As much as possible, followers of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster don’t work on Fridays, as it is considered the holiest day of the week. They celebrate it by feasting and drinking as much alcohol as they can. 22 | CHAPTER TWO

On the Theory of Evolution The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster does not believe in the evolution theory. Instead of primates being our evolutionary ancestor, the spaghetti monster says that the modern man came from pirates. Evidence to this is the fact that the modern man shares only 95% of their DNA makeup with primates compared the 99.9% likeness he shares with pirates. The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster further shuns the theory of evolution, arguing that the millions of years needed for the species to evolve are impossible to complete in an environment which is actually only thousands of years in existence. READING CHECK

Summarizing What are some of the core beliefs of FSM?

Img 2.4 Ancient FSM painting


disguised to appear much older. We can be certain that the FSM spent even more time preparing the earth, because, being all-knowing, He was well aware that soon enough there would be nosy peo­ple poking around everywhere. Known as “scientists,” these nosy people have a sick need— probably sexually motivated—to figure out how things work, and so it was even more important that our apparent reality be well designed to hide the truth. Img 2.5 Partial pedimental sculpture of FSM

A Brief History Five Thousand Years Ago: The Beginning The Flying Spaghetti Monster created the universe and a bunch of planets, including Earth. No one except Himself was around to see it, but we suspect it was rather dull. The initial creation, obviously, must have been spectacular, but He then spent the next ten to one hundred years painstakingly preparing the universe to appear older than it actually is. Photons were placed in­dividually, en route to earth, ostensibly emitted millions of years ago from stars across the galaxy. In reality, we know that each photon was divinely placed and red-shifted appropriately to make the universe ap­pear to be billions of years old. We are still finding His camouflage methods at work today; each time scientists discover apparent evidence of a billions-of-years-old universe, we can be assured that this is just more elaborate preparation He put in place. Earth was created in approximately 0.062831853 seconds and was similarly

Img 2.6 DNA bears a striking resemblance to fusilli pasta.

Our Noodly Creator then placed fossils, hidden under the earth’s surface, knowing that they would later be found—thus, seemingly prov­ing that these creatures existed some time ago. Dinosaur bones, for ex­ample, were placed so well and in such numbers that it’s widely believed dinosaurs roamed the earth millions of years ago. THE FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER | 23


Interestingly, di­nosaurs did exist, but not millions of years ago, because, of course, how could they have existed before the earth was even here? In reality they lived with us, alongside—and occasionally on top of—humans around three thousand years ago. READING CHECK

Explain What are your thoughts on dinosaurs in relation to this paragraph?

Real Dinosaurs Real dinosaurs, as any enlight­ened paleontologist—or bone doctor, as they prefer to be called—will tell you, were able to stand erect by engorging selected muscles with blood, making the once flaccid limb rigid. By alternating which

muscles were engorged in the correct sequence, a very effective locomotion and rudi­mentary skeletal structure was achieved. Perverted readers may recog­nize that this mechanism is similar to what happens in the male penis.

Fun Fact! You may wonder why we find no bones from dinosaurs from this era, and rightly so. But keep in mind that dinosaurs don’t actually have bones— the whole dinosaurs had bones thing is all an elaborate hoax planned for His own divine amusement. Source: The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster

Img 2.7 The Italian explorer Christopher Columbus was guided by a Higher Power. 24 | CHAPTER TWO


2500 Years Ago The Golden Age of Pirates

Img 2.8 A fine example of Celtic-PastafarianPirate-Christian craftsmanship.

Real dinosaurs, as any enlight­ened paleontologist—or bone doctor, as they prefer to be called—will tell you, were able to stand erect by engorging selected muscles with blood, making the once flaccid limb rigid. By alternating which muscles were engorged in the correct sequence, a very effective locomotion and rudi­mentary skeletal structure was achieved. Perverted readers may recog­ nize that this mechanism is similar to what happens in the male penis. Dinosaurs were, in essence, not much more than a massive collection of penises (penii) under a thick skin. While very few accurate descriptions of these creatures have existed into present times, we can be pleased to learn that awareness of them has propagated generationally in our cul­ture. Most men don’t even realize that when they exaggerate the size of their penis—referring to it as “monstrous” or “dinosaurlike”—they are helping to keep alive the hidden truth of the strange and horny beasts we know as dinosaurs.

What happened next is still a mystery. Mankind up until this time had been successfully duped by the FSM, wrongly believing that natural ex­planations could explain our origins. One would think that the FSM Himself would be pleased by this, as He had gone to so much trouble disguising His creation work. But for whatever reason, He felt the need to expose the truth to us. This was the date, some twenty-five hundred years ago, that He first revealed His Noodly Appendage to us, showing us the way. From this point on, those who accepted His message knew that we were to live a certain way—on the water in great wooden ships, loaded with grog, swag, and, hopefully, wenches. This was His will, and so it was done. Unfortunately, many of the details from this era are lost to us, possi­ bly because many ships sank, due to overloading. Swag is very heavy, and these, the first Pastafarians, showed less than 100 percent perfect judgment, having drunk too much grog. What we do know, though, is that this was the Golden Age of the Pirate lifestyle. Millions, possibly hundreds, of Pirate ships roamed the world’s oceans and maybe lakes, searching for a good time, spreading joy and maybe VD to whomever they came into contact with. READING CHECK

Discuss How do the Golden Age of the Pirate lifestyle reflect the values of the religion?

THE FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER | 25


What we’re told of Pirates in history books today is blatantly wrong. Thieves and outcasts they were not—these were His Chosen People, the ones who listened and followed His divine plan, whatever it was. The commonly propagated myth that Pirates were thieves can be traced, un­surprisingly, to the Christian theologists of the Middle Ages. It’s just another example of the discrimination and misinformation that we’ve had to contend with over the years, and another reason Pastafarians have been so secretive about their beliefs.

“ Regardless of the lies told about

them, the first Pastafarians were peace-loving explorers and spreaders of goodwill, not bloodthirsty criminal Pirates. In fact, they were well known to distribute candy to passing children, thus establishing what is now known as Halloween. “

Of course it was not all good times. Not everyone was a believer, and some rejected His Word and felt the need to go out on the ocean in their own (probably lame) ships and pick fights with the Pastafarians. Most notable was Noah, of biblical fame, who slapped together a monstrous barge made of wood and whatever else was around—probably dirt, who knows? Noah, well known for his love of animals, always had plenty around. So when he found himself with a lack of building materials, he decided to use hundreds of defenseless animals as ballast mainly the slowest, dumbest, and most dense that he could come across. It’s not known exactly what occurred during this time of Noah and the Pirates, but enough historical texts have 26 | CHAPTER TWO

Img 2.9 The pharaohs sought protection from the FSM in the afterlife.

survived through the years to get a rough picture of the events that transpired. Noah, alone except for his animals/ballast, propelled by jealousy and maybe a group of talking seals, set forth in search of Pastafarians. Unfortunately for Noah, he found one of the most bad-ass Pirate ships around, and started talking way too much smack. The Pastafarians, being above all peaceful, and maybe drunk, ignored his verbal abuse. It was only when Noah, ever the dick, physically attacked the Pastafarian ship by hurling from his bow the pointiest of animals that the Pastafarians took no­tice. We are told that the largest, scariest of the Pastafarians swam, or maybe just jumped, from ship to ship—they were that powerful—and confronted Noah. READING CHECK

Discuss How do the Golden Age of the Pirate lifestyle reflect the values of the religion?


1700 to Today Of Pasta and Pirates For centuries after that, no one messed with the Pirates, and the nat­ural order of things was kept in balance. Although swag and grog sent many a ship to the bottom of the sea, losing important historical doc­umentation in the process, the Pirates lived a life of peace and merri­ ment, spreading His Word as far as places like Belgium. They continued to celebrate Halloween and, during the last two months of every year, took time off from sailing the seas to relax and spend time with their families during their most holiest time of Holi day. But there were dark storms on the horizon, and the Pirates did not know what evil awaited them.

Img 2.10 Douglas MacArthur accepting the Japanese surrender after World War 2.

Convinced of the inherent evil of Pirates, Hari Krishnas, who are de­scended from Ninjas, banded together at various seaports and declared a holy war against the Pirates. By tens of thousands, maybe even dozens, they boarded steel-plated kayaks and paddled out in search of Pirates, whom they intended to annihilate from the four corners of the earth. You might think that the FSM would have noticed the Hari Krishnas and protected His Chosen People, but He mistook the Krishnas for just another musical band

Img 2.11 Helping with NASA

of seagoing beggars, or maybe fishermen singing their shanties, and He let them pass unharmed. As the first Krishnas ar­rived at a Pirate ship on Halloween, the Pirates mistook them for overly dedicated trick-or-treaters. What followed next was mass slaughter as the Pirates tried to pass out treats while the Krishnas beat and sliced them to death with their double-bladed kayak paddles. Sadly, this pat­tern was repeated several times that day. The next year was even worse. Did you know? Eventually, the Pirates retreated to hidden coves where they could keep a lookout for the bloodthirsty Krishna bastards. Was there some­thing in the Krishnas’ singing that blinded the Pirates to their evil? We may never know. And while mainstream education tells us that Pirates were hunted down because they were thieves, killers, etc., this is largely a misinformation campaign propagated by the Krishnas and many of the other religions that banded together to begin their systematic as­sault on the Pirates’ worship of the FSM.

THE FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER | 27


Hunted nearly to extinction, the Pirates were indeed quite pissed off for several centuries, and the textbooks reveal every detail of the looting and pillaging but are suspiciously quiet about the fact that Pirates were well known for passing out candy to children. The sad truth is that the other religions were jealous of the Pirates and their happy lifestyles—it’s that simple. Thankfully for the Pirates, the attacks even­tually slowed down and then nearly stopped altogether as the other re­ligions inevitably turned against one another. Which is where we find ourselves today. While it is becoming common knowledge that declining Pirate num­bers are a direct result of religious persecution, what is not yet known is what happened to the remaining Pirates and where they are located. Sadly, many Pirates simply hid their treasures, gave away their giant turtles, and retired, moving to places like Ireland and, ironically, India. Others hid out in the Straits of Malaysia, while some

Img 2.12 Einstein secretly consults FSM

formed well-known sports franchises. What is little known about our mystical forerunners is that in addition to hiding treasure, Pirates sought to conceal their religious texts. In fact, the treasure was included largely to ensure that others would go out and look for these documents in the future, during more tolerant times. On this count, the Pirates were wildly successful, as there are still treasure hunters searching for ancient Pirate loot. Unfortunately, many of our original texts ­have been lost, as their importance was overlooked, being mistaken for recipes in some cases. READING CHECK

Explain What is the relation between Pasta and Pirates?

Chapter 2 Review Fill in the blanks

Fun Facts!

The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster began in ____________, when ___________, a recent physics graduate of Oregon State University, sent a letter to the ________ Board of Education, which was debating the inclusion of ___________ theories in high school classes on evolution.

• The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster was accepted as a religion in the Netherlands in 2016, and that same year the first legally recognized Pastafarian marriage was celebrated in New Zealand.

Test Yourself! 1. Define FSM. 2. Explain the history of FSM 3. Identify the key arguments made by Henderson in his letter to the Kansas Board of Education.

28 | CHAPTER TWO

• In 2011 a Pastafarian was allowed to wear a colander on his head in his driver’s license photo in Austria, which permits religious headgear for official documents, and the colander was later recognized as religious headgear. • Pirates are held to be the first Pastafarians, and global warming is explained as being the result of the decline in the number of pirates since the 1800s.


SECTION

3

Raelism

What You Will Learn... Main Ideas 1. A non-profit educational

foundation devoted to restoring balance between Humans and the remaining species on Earth. 2. The Human population is increasing by one million every four days. 3. We support only voluntary forms of population reduction.

The Big Idea The Church has only one commandment, and it is “Thou Shalt Not Procreate.”

The Raelian Movement The Raelian Movement was founded in 1974, a few months after the encounter between Rael, its founder, and one of the Elohim, the scientists who created us. Since its inception, it has grown steadily and now has more than 100,000 members in over 120 countries. Approximately 300 of those members are Guides, who lead the activities of the Movement in accordance with the directives of Rael, the current Guide of Guides.

Two-Fold Mission Key Terms and People The Raelian Movement, p 29 Maitreya Rael, p 30 peacekeepers, p 31 Claude Vorilhon, p 32 Go Topless Day, p 33

The main purpose of these activities is to accomplish the Raelian Movement’s two-fold mission: The Raelian Movement is a non-profit organization. It is completely funded by its members, who share the same common goals. All members, without exception, volunteer their time, which means that the funds are used solely for actions that support the Movement’s mission, activities and gatherings. Raelians come from all walks of life. They have in common a strong desire to make this planet a paradise. In that paradise, science will be foremost and freely developed for the benefit of all, while violence will be treated as a disease and, at last, completely eradicated. READING CHECK

h

Summarizing What is the main purpose of the Raelian Movement’s Two-Fold Mission?

h

RAELISM | 29


Symbol The Star of David represents the infinity of Space. The extra-terrestrials who created humankind in laboratories have proven that the infinitely small and the infinitely large have the same structure. The atoms in our hands contain tiny galaxies, which themselves contain planets with minuscule humanities. And our own galaxy is a tiny particle in a huge atom that forms part of an immense world, etc., ad infinitum. “As above, so below.”The Swastika in the center represents the infinity of time. Everything in the universe is in perpetual transformation. Space and time have neither beginning nor end, for everything is cyclic at all levels.

“Nothing is created, nothing is lost;

everything is continually transformed.“

– Maitreya Rael

Values Self-Respect This type of respect requires a healthy lifestyle that can only be achieved by being in harmony with nature. That includes meditation, relaxation, and adopting a healthy diet. Drugs, tobacco, and alcohol should be avoided since these substances destroy our genetic code and can cause defects for generations to come. Self-Love Accepting ourselves as we are, with all our imperfections. It’s to live out what we are, feel good about ourselves, open up to life, and blossom. This conviction contributes to the development of healthy and positive thoughts, cultivates compassion 30 | CHAPTER THREE

Img 3.1 Symbol for Raelism

toward oneself and others, and strips away all forms of aggression. Guilt and fear only lead to the secretion of toxins that are harmful to our health. Self-love is only possible through both an awareness of these emotions and the rejection of stress. Sharing Every human being has a right throughout his or her entire life to have something to eat, a place to sleep, clothes to wear, and education, even without working. Those who work are also entitled to luxury – a driving force in human progress. Any luxury attained should be proportional to the work done and to the progress brought about for society. Respect for Others Accept our differences. Humanity derives its richness from its diversity, so the more different we are from one another, the more enriched we become. This is why we encourage others to live out their differences fully, be they racial, cultural, religious or sexual.


Accountability All human beings are always responsible for their actions, even if they are merely obeying an order.All human beings are masters of their own destiny, their successes as well as their failures. And all human beings are always responsible for their actions, even if they are merely obeying an order. Consequently, a person must refuse to execute any order that would be contrary to his or her conscience.

“Do not obey any order whatsoever

regardless of the person who issued the order, if the order is contrary to your conscience. “ – Maitreya Rael

Absolute Respect for Life Save a Single human, Save Humanity. Even if any power would lead you to believe that by executing a single human we could save all of mankind, do not kill that human because the life of a single non-violent human being is as valuable as the entire humanity. Femininity Femininity is love. It’s important to make this planet more feminine and to be aware that wisdom goes hand-in-hand with femininity. If all human beings on Earth were to become feminine and refined, there would be no more war. If femininity is a cure for humanity and a way to prevent its destruction, then the development of femininity is a necessity. It becomes every human being’s responsibility, regardless of gender.

“ Politeness is femininity’s code of

respect. It’s the foundation. Find and create new ways to demonstrate respect and politeness. “ – Maitreya Rael

Img 3.2 Respect for Life

World Peace The creation of a world government supported by a global army of “peacekeepers.” The creation of a world government supported by a global army of “peacekeepers” would permit the removal of national armies. Former military budgets could then be devoted to fighting hunger worldwide, saving the planet, and maintaining universal peace.

“It’s by loving both your close and

far away neighbors that you elevate yourself while doing them good. “

– Maitreya Rael

Non-Violence Threats of violence should be punished as severely as violence itself; the individual who utters them acknowledges that his views may triumph through the use of violence. READING CHECK

Summarize What are the most essential values to Raelism and which ones do you see repeated in other religions? RAELISM | 31


Did you know? Claude Vorilhon wrote, “The Message Given by Extra-Terrestrials: At Last Science Replaces Religion,” (Raelian Movement, 1998) and some other books. Vorilhon, now known as Rael (meaning, “messenger of the Elohim”) as he is now known, was allegedly contacted by aliens and told many mysteries; such as life was originally established upon earth some 22,000 +/- years ago through genetic manipulation by extraterrestrials. These aliens desire to return to earth at Jerusalem in the yet to be built Elohim Embassy where a one world government will be established with is a single currency, language, etc.

The Flood (Gen. 6:1-9:28): the byproduct of a atomic missile explosion that the alien elohim sent. The Tower of Babel (Gen. 11:1-9): scattered Israel, the most intellectual race, across the globe [biblically was not named Israel until Genesis 35:10] Sodom & Gomorrah (Gen. 19:1-29): the two angels sent to Sodom and Gomorrah were spies from the alien elohim. The towns were destroyed by an atomic explosion.

Elohim civilization Raelians assert that the alien Elohim civilization sent different prophets, such as Moses, Elijah, Ezekiel, Buddha, John the Baptist, Jesus, Muhammad, and Joseph Smith, who were to be guides for humanity and to prepare them for the future mentioned above. They have some rather unusual reinterpretations of the Bible that are alien/science centered:

Garden of Eden

Img 3.3 The Mascot

Creation (Gen. 1:1-2:25): involved a number of alien scientific synthetic creations. The Garden of Eden (Gen. 2:8): an alien scientific laboratory. Lucifer (Gen. 3:1-24): led a group of scientists in a genetic engineering lab to study created man’s behavior. The Fall was actually Lucifer telling creation the truth about their existence. Noah’s Ark (Gen. 6:1-9:28): a spaceship that was lifted up above the earth which preserved the genetic material that was used to resurrect animals through cloning.

Formally joining the Raelians requires the act of apostasy, denying any previous religious beliefs. This is followed by an act of baptism, which is the “transmission of the cellular plan.” This baptismal ritual allegedly communicates the person’s DNA makeup to an Elohim extraterrestrial computer. This is an extremely dangerous cult adding too and manipulating Scripture. They say that there is no

32 | CHAPTER THREE


Timothy 4:3-4 For the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions, and will turn away from listening to the truth and wander off into myths. READING CHECK

Discuss What connections can you see between all the verses Apostle Paul stated?

Chapter 3 Review Fill in the blanks Img 3.4 Go Topless Day

God, only alien creators. They claim to have already cloned a human being. They proclaim sensual meditation with the Elohim (pl.), including a hedonistic exercise in sexual stimulation, free love, a “Go Topless Day,” and encourage adult homosexual and bisexual behavior. As of 2011 they claim that they have approximately 85,000 members. As the Apostle Paul stated: Timothy 1:3-4 ...charge certain persons not to teach any different doctrine, nor to devote themselves to myths and endless genealogies, which promote speculations rather than the stewardship from God that is by faith. Timothy 4:1-2 Now the Spirit expressly says that in later times some will depart from the faith by devoting themselves to deceitful spirits and teachings of demons, through the insincerity of liars whose consciences are seared.

Raelism also known as Raelianism or the Raelian movement is a _________ religion that was founded in 1974 by ______________ now known as Rael. Members of the Raelian Movement have advocated the use of __________, _________________, masturbation, meditation, and genetically modified organisms.

Fun Facts! • Claude Vorilhon was at the time a professional test driver and automobile journalist. • Vorilhon sat down with the Eloha and had a meal with the major prophets including Buddha, Moses, Jesus, and Mohammed. • The Raelian Movement founded a public fundraising effort, Clitoraid, to pay for repairs of clitorises.

Test Yourself! 1. Define Raelism. 2. Explain the symbol for Raelism. 3. Explain the origin of the Raelian movement. 4. Identify what Rael meant when he said “Do not obey any order whatsoever, regardless of the person who issued the order.” What was the context in which he said this?

RAELISM | 33


Credits Photographs Chapter 1: 1.1: © “The Invisible Pink Unicorn.” Palmyria. http://www. palmyria.co.uk/humour/ipu.htm; 1.2 © ZenJackal. “Invisible Pink Unicorn.” Deviant Art. 8 Feb. 2009, https:// www.deviantart.com/zenjackal/art/ Invisible-Pink-Unicorn-112228937; 1.3 © Deemanch. “Unicorn Clipart.” Clean PNG. https://www.cleanpng. com/png-invisible-pink-unicorn-logopink-m-font-einhorn-4207512/; 1.5: © Robin A. Smile, Vian. “Invisible Pink Unicorn.” 8 Mar. 2020, https://www. wikiwand.com/en/Invisible_Pink_Unicorn; 1.6: © “Invisible Pink Unicorn.” Reddit. 2012, http://i.imgur.com/ wRmVT.jpg; 1.7: © Keith Semple. “A tattooed family is a happy family.” Instagram. 5 Oct. 2019, https://www. instagram.com/p/B3QTO7Rgssb/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link; 1.8: © ipusymbol. Instagram. 17 Mar. 2019, https://www.instagram.com/p/ BvGu4T6ny-x/?utm_source=ig_web_ copy_link. ‌ Chapter 2: 2.1: © Niklas Jansson. “Touched by His Noodly Appendage.” Wikipedia. 2015, https://commons. wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Touched_ by_His_Noodly_Appendage_HD.jpg; 2.2: © Eric Jones. “Fremont Summer Solstice Parade.” Boonxeven. 19 June 2010, https://boonxeven.blogspot.

34 | CREDITS

com/2010/06/flying-spaghetti-monster-sighting-at.html; 2.3: © James Dunbar. “It’s Alive.” Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. 2006, https://www. spaghettimonster.org/wp-content/ uploads/2006/08/FlyingSpaghetti_Dunbar.jpg; © Fenn and Ricketts. The Washington Post. 19 April, 2016, https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/acts-of-faith/ wp/2016/04/19/you-may-nowcanoodle-the-bride-new-zealandcouple-weds-in-first-legal-flyingspaghetti-monster-ceremony/; 2.5: © Frantz, Alison. Parthenon. Bobby Henderson. 2006. p. 59; 2.6: © DNA. Bobby Henderson. 2006. p.41; 2.7: © Columbus, Christopher. Artephot. Bobby Henderson. 2006. p.13; 2.8: © McDonald, Lisa. Celtic Cross. Bobby Henderson. 2006. p. 56; 2.9: © Orti, D. Gargli. Egyptian Hieroglyphics. Bobby Henderson. 2006. p.58; 2.10: © National Archives and Records Administration. Japan surrenders WWII. Bobby Henderson. 2006. p.60; 2.11: © Nasa. Moon Landing. Bobby Henderson. 2006. p. 61; 2.12: © Berlin, Messe. Einstein Lectures. Bobby Henderson. 2006. p.61. Chapter 3: 3.1: © Sarang. “Raelian symbol.” Wikipedia. 1


Text Nov. 2009, upload.wikimedia.org/ wikipedia/commons/thumb/3/38/ Raelian_symbol.svg/1200px-Raelian_symbol.svg.png; 3.2 © “A Raëlian meditation seminar in 1984.” Dazed. 2 June 2014, https://www. dazeddigital.com/artsandculture/ article/20075/1/launch-into-spacewith-raelism-south-koreas-sci-fi-sect; 3.3 © Own Work. “Raelians in Japan.” Wikipedia. 25 Nov. 2012, https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/ File:Raelians-Japan-Nov2012.jpg#/ media/File:Raelians-Japan-Nov2012. jpg; 3.4 © Religion Nerd. 5 Aug. 2011, http://religionnerd.com/2011/08/05/ religion-lately-raelian-women-go-topless-wtc-cross-an-atheist-hymn-nascar-christianity.

Chapter 1: Admin. “Pink Unicorn.” Unicorns Rule!, 23 May 2019, www.unicornsrule.com/ pink-unicorn; “Symbol Gallery.” The Invisible Pink Unicorn Symbol, 2021, invisiblepinkunicorn. org/symbol-gallery; “The Invisible Pink Unicorn (Pbuh).” The Invisible Pink Unicorn, 2021, www. palmyria.co.uk/humour/ipu.htm. Chapter 2: “Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.” Church of Flying Spaghetti Monster, 2021, www.spaghettimonster.org; “Flying Spaghetti Monster Wiki | Fandom.” Flying Spaghetti Monster Wiki, 2021, flyingspaghettimonster. wikia.org/wiki/Main_Pag; Henderson, Bobby. The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Illustrated, Villard, 2006. Chapter 3: Rael. Intelligent Design. Nova Distribution, 2005; “The True Origin of Life on Earth: Extraterrestrials Created Us in Their Image.” Rael.Org, 5 Mar. 2021, www.rael.org.

CREDITS | 35


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