Project 3 Theme: Relationship 1
Q. What do you find attractive in a man or a woman? What most men ﬁnd attractive in a woman 1. looks 2. anything sexy 3. anything slightly sexy 4. a fun personality 5. intelligence and style
What most women ﬁnd attractive in a man 1. looks 2. self conﬁdence 3. a sense of humor 4. intelligence 5. status and style
1. 2. 3. 4. 5.
My ideal man _______ good looks. He _____ self conﬁdent. He _________ a sense of humor He ________ intelligent He ________ status
6. 7. 8. 9.
My ideal woman _______ physically attractive. She _____ really sexy. She _________ a fun personality She ________ intelligent
G and V 自分は「こういう男性・女性が好きだ」と英語で表現するために必要な文法
Grammar SVOC ●I ﬁnd him attractive SVOCで大切なポイントはOとCです。上記の文では、him (o) とattractive (c)です。himと attractiveが並んでいますが、him=attractiveと考えましょう。 使役構文／知覚構文もSVOCです。He made me mad. (me=mad) 文章がSVOC、SVC、SVOになるかは、その文の動詞によります。ここでは、文型を意識し ないで、動詞
ﬁndは気づく、思う、という意味です。 He is attractiveと言うよりI ﬁnd him attractiveと言った方がカッコイイですよ。 The movie was boring というより I found the movie boringと言いましょう。 This grammar point is easy ----> Brad Pitt is irresistible （非常に魅力的） ----> This room is cozy (くつろげる) ----> My friend is sincere (正直) ----> The movie is ridiculous(バカバカしい） ----> Windows computer is diﬃcult to use --->
●I ﬁnd men / women (who ___________) attractive. （ ）の間に以下の言葉を入れて文を完成させましょう
good looks / self conﬁdent / sense of humor / intelligent / status / sexy fun personality
G and V
Looks tall, average height, short in shape <---> out of shape buﬀ <----> slim a hot body <---> rounded fashionable <----> unfashionable in style <----> out of style
Connectors 文と文を繋げる言葉 For example For instance Like...... Also,
Self conﬁdence not oﬀended(hurt) easily <----> has insecurities （自信喪失） comfortable in his skin （自分を受け入れてる） not shy to speak his mind can take a joke (自分のことを笑える） gives you eye contact Sense of humor doesn t take himself seriously witty can make people laugh can tell appropriate jokes （適切なジョークが言える） Intelligence has an academic background can communicate in various topics has an expertise / knowledgeable（専門知識を持っている） is able to relate to others （共感出来る） Status a company president high social position high income earner respected socially Sexy hunk / hottie Fun personality looks good with his shirt oﬀ / look good in a bikini
... has got to be... Preferably, in other words..... What I want to say is..... ...can t be.... ...shouldn t be....
Fun personality fun to be around adventurous exciting contagious
G and V 「このような特徴は自分にとって大切ではない」と英語で主張したいとき
It doesn t (really) matter to me whether he / she _______________ Ex. It doesn t matter to me whether (if) he is good looking 見た目は私にとって大切ではない I don t really care that _______________ Ex. I don t really care whether (if) he is intelligent or not 能力は私にとって大切ではない Who cares whether ________________! Ex Who cares whether (if) he has money or not お金がなくても全然構わない！
What s important is ____________________ Ex. What s important is he is loving and caring 彼が愛情と思いやりがあれば As long as __________________ Ex. As long as he loves me. 愛してさえくれれば
ここで使える言葉 loving and caring honest and sincere committed doesn t sleep around / cheat attentive hardworking
Homework What women really want in a man
Good looks - How men look are very important for the ladies.
height, and weight are how people judge you. Who are we kidding to say that looks are not important.
Self conﬁdence - One of the most important qualities to have in life. Women are masters at reading body language. If you are not self conﬁdent, your body language will show your inner insecurities. You will not make a good ﬁrst impression unless you are walking tall.
Senses of humor ‒ Ladies want to be around guys who are fun and adventurous. Being funny will leave a big impression on her. It also shows you are comfortable in your skin
Intelligence - Women ﬁnd it very attractive when a man is an expert or knowledgeable in a particular ﬁeld. Some women enjoy talking about world issues and you will be ahead of the game if you can speak eloquently about a broad range of topics. Emotional intelligence is particulary important. You must understand and be able to relate to someone s emotion in order to communicate eﬀectively.
Status ‒ I believe women are naturally attracted to leaders and men in positions of power. These men have the ability to survive. Think back to high school, the quarterback and team captains usually had the pick of the females. These men were early leaders and had a high social position Style ‒ Most guys fail here miserably. Guys have you ever thought about how meticulous women are about their appearance? They will go shopping for three hours for the perfect outﬁt and shoes. They will then spend 2.5 hours getting ready for a night out. Compare that to your 20 minute of preparation and I think you get the point.
Homework facial features who are we kidding
顔の特徴 【直訳】私は誰に冗談を言っているのでしょうか？ Who are we kidding to say....... ∼を言うことは冗談になってしまう。
masters at insecurities unless walking tall adventurous
∼の名人 自信喪失 ∼でない限り 自信を持つ 胸を張っている 大胆な、冒険心のある
comfortable in his skin
expert / expertise
expert 専門家 / expertise〔ある分野の〕専門知識
knowledgeable in a particular ﬁeld ある分野の知識が豊富にある world issues 世界の出来事 ahead of the game 有利な立場 speak eloquently かっこうよく話す broad range 広範囲 able to relate 共感できる eﬀectively 効果的 quarterback
high social position
appearance you get the point
Homework What man really want in a woman
Looks Here are facts about what Western men think is attractive The age is about the same age as the man Occasional gym goer She has wavy shoulder-length hair The favorite color of hair is brunette The ideal body shape is an hour glass Sex The type of ladies men are first attracted to is the type that will appeal to our sexual desires. Men like sex, men like variety. Men like women that enjoy sex. Men don t like women s entertainment. They would rather eat glass than watch Bridget Jones, but they have watched it because they want sex after the movie.
Personality The best type of personality is to be cheerful, outgoing and excited about life. What do you think are the 3 words that really gets guys hooked on a woman? Answer: I am excited . As in, "I'm excited to see you tonight" or "I'm excited about our trip next weekend" It's probably the best thing you can say to your boyfriend or husband. Even better than I love you. How come? "When we know you're excited about spending time with us, it makes us excited about spending time with you," says relationship experts. He adds that letting your boyfriend or husband know he's doing a good job motivates him to be at his best. The phrase is especially powerful on someone you've been with for years. Experts explain that it's easy for couples to fall into a routine and forget they have the ability to excite their partners. You start to think that the most you can offer the other person is stability and comfort, and excitement becomes sort of a foreign idea. But dropping the phrase reminds him he can still get you excited, and in turn, keeps him from letting the romance slide. Intelligence Men want somebody that can carry a conversation. Communication becomes more important as the relationship deepens. Looks and sex are important but we eventually want somebody that will relate to us intellectually and emotionally.
ジムに行く人 ex. movie goer
let your boyfriend know especially
fall into a routine
have the ability to
stability and comfort
foreign idea reminds in return romance slide carry a conversation deepens relate to us
かけ離れた考え 思い出す ∼を引き換えに ロマンがおろそかになる 会話が出来る 深まる 共感してくれる
Please listen to the recording couple of times to understand everything. Write down any words you do not know. 1. What does Lev ﬁnd attractive? 2. What does Shin ﬁnd attractive? 3. What does Shin and Lev agree on? 4. What is skin deep?
Speaking After you have read and listened to the assigned homework, please think of what you ﬁnd attractive in a man or a woman. Try to use the grammar and vocabulary of the text. 2 3 min speech
Discussion After hearing everyone s speeches, agree and disagree on the points that the other students have made. Try to work on talking as a group and not individually. Do you think what s attractive in Japan is not very attractive abroad and vice versa? What do you like about Japanese men or women? What do you like about Western men or women?
Signs of attraction
Q1. How do you tell if a man or a woman is flirting with you? Q2. How do you let someone know you are attracted to him/ her
1. 2. 3. 4.
Proximity (how close they are) Touch Body (lean in) Smiling
1. 2. 3. 4.
eye contact looks at you head to toe ﬁddles with her hair or jewelry talks to you or asks you questions
Vocabulary 訳 ﬂirt
好きな人に示すしぐさ、いちゃつく She ﬂirts with everyone
make a move (on) 口説く hit on 口説く come on to 口説く make a pass at 口説く
He made a move on me He hit on me Are you coming on to me? Are you making a pass at me?
digs you 好き into you 恋している in love with 恋している have a crush on 片思い have the hots for 性的魅力を感じる
He really digs you She s really into him I m in love with her He has a crush on his classmate She has the hots for him
G and V
Practice 好きな人に示すしぐさ いちゃつく
She ＿＿＿＿ with everyone
口説く 口説く 口説く 口説く
He _______ a move on me He _____ on me Are you _________ on to me? Are you _________ a pass at me?
好き 恋している 恋している 片思い 性的魅力を感じる
He really _____ you She s really _______ him I m ___ _______with her He has a _________ _____ his classmate She has the ________ ____ him
Tell the diﬀerence ここで使われるtellは「分かる」ということ。正しい表現はTell the diﬀerence 「違いが分かる」 例： A) I have a crush on Stacey. 僕は、ステーシーに片思いしている B) Yeah, I can tell. それは、分かるよ（知ってるよ）
I can tell
by the way の様子で
he he he he he
looked at me talked to me smiled at me touched me acted around me
that he was in love with me
何かのしぐさ、話し方、振る舞い方で人のことを分かるときがあります。そんなとき にこの表現を使います I I I I I I
can can can can can can
tell tell tell tell tell tell
by by by by by by
the way he clinched his ﬁst that... the way he drove that.......... the way he raised his voice that.............. the way he wrote that .............. the way he ﬂirted that....... they way he spoke that.............
G and V Generally, how do you know someone s into you?
You can tell by (the way.....)
closeness touch body language smile eye contact looks language
Connectors Well, It s hard to notice but.... It s very obvious........
There s no way to tell. You just have a hunch. (直感）
How did you know your current boyfriend or girlfriend or ex was into you. How did it lead up to the ﬁrst date? What happened on the ﬁrst date? play hard to get
tell tale signs sweet talk love at ﬁrst sight hit it oﬀ (great) click got shot down
兆候 甘い言葉をかける 一目惚れ 相性がいい 異性にビビット感じる 却下される
How do you let someone know you have a crush on him / her?
When it comes to
making a move on someone, (口説く） seducing someone, (口説く） confessing how you feel. (告白する） telling someone you like them, （好きだと言う）
I get nervous I get tongue tied I sweat I m not myself I feel insecure
I m bold I m conﬁdent / I can be myself It s not sweat
It s a walk in the park (たやすいこと） It s a piece of cake (ちょろい）
How can you tell if a man is ﬂirting with you? Proximity You can tell by how close he is to you if he likes you or not. If a man is always ﬁnding ways to get close to a you, it is a sign that man digs you. Touch You can tell by the way he touches your hand or your back that he is ﬂirting with you. A man in love will try to ﬁnd a way to touch you as much as possible. Body Watch the way he acts around you. Does he always lean in when you are talking to him? Usually men will position his chest and shoulders towards the thing he is most interested in even if he s looking at something else. Whatever a boy aims his upper body at is the most meaningful thing the room for him. If you study his body language, you ll already know who he s after. Smiles If he is always giving you a full smile, he is interested in a real relationship. If he is just giving you a half a smile, watch out! There s a good chance this guy just wants a no-strings attached sex. A sneer like grin is an sign that he s not being sincere with you.
proximity lean in whatever aim he s after no - strings attached sex
近いこと 傾ける 何であれ ∼に向ける 彼が狙っているもの 恋愛感情抜きのセックス
How can you tell if a woman is ﬂirting with you? Eye Contact This is the biggest tell-tale body-language signal a woman can give to a guy that she is interested in him. If a woman looks at you, keep eye contact with her. If she is still looking at you after two seconds, approach her because she wants you. Sometimes, any amount of eye contact is a strong enough signal of interest. She has dilated pupils. This technique is more for the advanced person aware of body-language. Nonverbal communication does not lie. A woman's pupils are a guaranteed way to tell if she likes you. I encourage you to look at her pupils when she makes eye contact with you to determine her level of attraction. The Cat Scan I came up with the "cat scan" term to describe the way a woman's eyes move up and down, or on and oﬀ a guy. If she repeatedly scans you with her eyes, approach her. Fiddling She ﬁddles with her hair or jewelry. Make sure you read the signs right. Sometimes girls do this out of nervousness. Or she does it to draw attention to her. Women will ﬂick their hair backwards over their shoulder or move it to the side with their hand as a way to show the face better even if she only has short hair, apart from emphasizing their facial features they do this gesture because it allows them to lift up their arm and in the process expose their arm pit where the sex perfume known as pheromone scent is released for the male to smell
Conversation She initiates the conversation. Women make excuses to approach guys they like. They might comment on your height, your clothes, or where they saw you before. Whatever the reason a women approaches you, she does so because she wants to talk with you! Don't be ignorant of it.
tell - tale
ﬁddles nervousness draw attention ﬂick
いじる 緊張感 気を引く はじく
initiate excuses whatever approach
初める 言い訳 何であろうと 近寄る
What does Shin say about ﬂirting? What does Lev say about ﬂirting?
Speaking How do you know someone s interested in you? How did you know your current partner or ex was into you How do you let someone know you are into him / her?
Discussion Why is dating diﬃcult in Japan? Would you like to date around more?
Making Relationship Work
What are the lessons learned from your previous relationship?
Complete the sentence with the appropriate phrase from below
perfect working ok
You know the relationship is
just hanging on slipping away going down hill over a disaster on the rocks
you see eye to eye you can t stand each other you feel warm inside there s little romance and excitement you criticise your partner you don t see your partner often there s very little to talk about you start seeing diďŹ€erent people at each other s throats you start to feel comfortable around each other
How did you know that the relationship is over?
G and V
Talk about how your relationship ended
I knew the relationship was over when.......
didn t talk much the romance died didn t see each other we fought a lot we criticized each other small things your partner does bother you the most realized when you are not compatible
Go over the next page and do the ďŹ ll in the blanks
I should have / I could have
made a ___________________ eďŹ€ort to love had a deep and ________________ conversation shared what s _________________ in my life _______________time for being together spent time doing ____________________________ _________________ him for who he is chosen someone more _____________ with me
G and V Decide to love Make a conscious eﬀort to love that person. Love is a verb. You have to work on it Communicate Have deep and meaningful conversations once in a while. Share what's going on in your lives right now, whether social life, school life, or family life
Ideas on how you can make a relationship work?
Spend time together / spend time apart Set aside time for being together. Spend time talking with each other and going out on dates, and doing other relationship-building activities Trust and accept Learn to trust that person and accept them for who they are. We have a tendency to want to change and control people but that usually leads to a bad relationship. Compatible? You don t share the same values. You should have chosen someone more compatible with you
conscious eﬀort work on it once in a while what s going on set aside relationship-building activities tendency compatible
意識的な努力 努力する たまに どうしたのか 取っておく 関係を深めること 傾向 相性がいい
Questions Why did these women think that they were never dumped before? How were they dumped? What do they recommend that you do when you get dumped?
How to know when a relationship is over
Starting to feel a distance When one person in the relationship starts to act distantly, it is sometimes a sign that they are no longer interested in the relationship. If a partner stops wanting to speak to you on the phone, starts to blow oﬀ your dates and generally seems indiﬀerent towards you then there is probably a good chance the relationship is coming to an end. The spark A spark in a relationship is a very important factor. The spark is what keeps you attracted to each other, what distinguishes you from just being friends and what keeps the relationship exciting. It is a sad fact that sometimes relationships just lose this spark and you fall into a routine. When the spark goes it is important to try and get it back.
Not compatible You realize that you are not compatible with each other. The values that you have are diﬀerent from your partner. If the fundamental point of view towards life is diﬀerent, you are on a diﬀerent wavelength. It s really diﬃcult to work things out if that s the case.
distance blow oﬀ dates indiﬀerent coming to an end spark factor distinguishes fall into a routine compatible point of view wavelength
距離感 無視する 無関心 終わりに近づく 元気、活気 要因 見分ける マンネリになる 相性 人生の見方 波長
Decide to love Attraction is typically what sparks loving relationships, but the excitement fades and warm feelings diminish unless both partners make conscious efforts to work on their relationship. Once love is established in a relationship, actively expressing love to each other will maintain and increase the loving feelings in both partners. If you are aiming for a longlasting, successful marriage, you need to commit to making your partner happy. Communicate Have deep and meaningful conversations once in a while. Share what's going on in your lives right now, whether social life, school life, or family life, and learn about each other's pasts and childhoods. Celebrate accomplishments, encourage goals and ambitions, and explore each other's values and beliefs. Share your deepest thoughts, needs, wishes, hopes, and dreams. Know each other inside and out.
Spend time together Set aside time for being together. Spend time talking with each other and going out on dates, and doing other relationship-building activities. Really get to know each other and build a connection between you that's strong and enduring. Make an effort to see each other (in-person) and talk on the phone maybe once a day or every few days. Spend time apart Be independent and keep your sense of self, never losing yourself or your voice in the relationship. Don't suffocate each other. You should each continue to grow as individualsâ€”not just as a couple. You should have your own space, tooâ€”physically and emotionally. Do your own things separately once in a while. Spend time with friends and family, and by yourself pursuing hobbies and other things. Just ensure that your first priority is to your partner Trust and accept
While occasional criticism and feedback is healthy in our relationships, too much of either can be very damaging. If you are constantly complaining or pointing out flaws in your partner's behavior, this can become annoying and unattractive.â€ƒOften, people will persist in being critical of their partners because they truly believe they are just trying to help them. However, there are usually deeper, more evil, motives at work. Many people simply want to fix, change, or control other people. They want to make them over to fit their own image or change their behavior to comply with their own standards. While this is a very common and understandable human tendency, it is another key pattern that is destructive in our relationships.
fades diminish establish maintain
消えていく 減少する はっきりする 維持する
commit accomplishments encourage goals and ambitions values and beliefs inside and out enduring independent
約束する 達成 目標ややる気を励ます 価値観と信念 完全に 長続きする 自立
sense of self
criticism feedback ﬂaw
批判 評価 欠陥
evil motives ﬁt their own image comply destructive
悪いこと 動機 自分の都合に合わせる 従う 破壊的な
What does Shin say about relationships? What does Lev say about relationships?
Speaking What are the lessons learned from your previous relationship? How did you know that the relationship was ending?
Discussion Why do you think a lot of marriages fail? Why is marriage a big deal in Japan?
Published on Sep 4, 2011