THIS WAY OUT SENIOR SENDOFFS PAGE 10
VOLUME XLII, ISSUE LX
THURSDAY, JUNE 3, 2010
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By Regina Ip
Associate News Editor
A week after A.S. Council first met to appoint the 2010-11 associate vice presidents, one of the three remaining positions is still unfilled â€” leaving the council to enter next year without a full cabinet of 10 AVPs in charge of managing various aspects of student life. On May 26, the council voted against appointing A.S. President Wafa Ben Hassineâ€™s nominations for three AVP positions. The nominations of former Campuswide Senator Desiree Prevo for the AVP of Academic Affairs position, and former AVP of Local Affairs Aries Yumul for the AVP of College Affairs position were voted down, while the nomination of Eleanor Roosevelt College sophomore Arohi Sharma for the AVP of Student Advocacy position was tabled. On June 3, the council approved Prevo and Sharma to temporarily fill the Academic Affairs and Student Advocacy positions, respectively. They will carry out the AVP positions until Week Four of Fall Quarter at which point applications for the position will reopen. The position of AVP of College Affairs was not discussed and will not be filled until Fall Quarter. According to Ben Hassine, all three positions were tabled at the Campus Affairs committee meeting, which is held prior to the council meeting. From that, the Academic Affairs and Student Advocacy positions were pulled out of committee to be discussed at the meeting. Ben Hassine said the positions were tabled â€” and then voted down â€” because councilmembers disagreed with the process of choosing members for the selection committee. The selection committee consists of the president, the outgoing AVP and three to four council senators.
After 24 years on campus, the ailing Grove Cafe will close its doors for good. By Ayelet Bitton
Nurses Plan to Strike After medical administrators reject proposed staff increases, union prepares to react with protest. By Connie Qian
Senior Staff Writer
J OHN H ANACEK /G UARDIAN
BY THE NUMBERS $177,920.78 $925 2 $525
GROVE CAFEâ€™S TOTAL DEBT DAILY PROFIT GROVE NEEDS TO BREAK EVEN NUMBER OF DAYS, SINCE REOPENING, GROVE EARNED $925 AVERAGE PROFIT GROVE MAKES DAILY
n less than two hours last night, the A.S. Council voted 17-2 to shut down the Grove Cafe, effectively ending a 24-year saga that included numerous attempts to revitalize the struggling eatery. The decision comes a year after the previous council voted last June to continue operating the coffee shop, which was $140,000 in debt at the time. However, despite ongoing renovations and a much-hyped reopening this Winter Quarter, the business has increased its debt over $35,000, to a total of nearly $180,000. According to both Vice President of Finance and Resources Andrew Ang and Associate Vice President of Enterprise Operations Brian McEuen, the Grove would need to make a daily profit of $925 to cover its operating costs alone. However, since reopening in January, See GROVE,page 7
See AVP,page 7
FROM FML TO FLOWERS A crowd of students gave ďŹ‚owers to Mary, an employee at the Burger King in Price Center East, yesterday. The event began because of a post on UCSDFML.com that brought attention to Maryâ€™s work.
P HOTOS B Y A NDREW O H /G UARDIAN
Over 11,000 nurses from five UC medical centers â€” including the UCSD medical centers â€” will strike on June 10 to protest unsafe nurseto-patient ratios, the National Nurses United announced last Friday. â€œOne of the things weâ€™ve been asking is that the [nurse-to-patient] ratio should be maintained at all times,â€? UCSD Medical Center - Hillcrest registered nurse Janice Webb said. â€œWeâ€™re asking for break-relief nurses. Thatâ€™s a nurse that comes in and watches your patient while youâ€™re on break.â€? The protest, slated to be the largest nurse strike in U.S. history, will also include an additional 14,000 nurses from California and Minnesota, totaling 25,000 participants. California law requires hospitals to maintain at least one nurse for every three to five patients, depending on the care the patients receive. The union said it wants to mandate stronger enforcement of these laws and establish safe ratios at all times. According to Webb, the medical centers do not have enough nurses to attend the patients. â€œWeâ€™ve been having meetings with hospitals that say they already have charge nurses, but realistically they canâ€™t maintain the ratio on breaks,â€? she said. â€œA lot of times when the charge nurses [or nurses who supervise] watch, there are still more nurses needed â€” just someone to help out.â€? However, in an online statement, the UC Office of the President contended that such a strike is without legitimate cause. â€œThe university considers this action unlawful, a violation of goodfaith bargaining requirements and a clear violation of the partiesâ€™ contract,â€? UCOP said in their statement. The strike will also attempt to secure the nursesâ€™ retirement benefits to make sure neither politicians nor the health industry can easily rescind them. â€œThe other thing weâ€™re concerned about is the pension and our health benefits,â€? Webb said. â€œThings are getting expensive now, and theyâ€™re trying to look at ways to cut costs. Thatâ€™s going to affect people, and we want See NURSES, page 3
:762,5 >,)7633 SHOULD THE A.S. COUNCIL HAVE CLOSED THE GROVE CAFE? âˆš Yes âˆš No âˆš I donâ€™t know WWW.UCSDGUARDIAN.ORG
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2 THE UCSD GUARDIAN
THURSDAY, JUNE 3, 2010
POORLY DRAWN LINES By Reza Farazmand :PTVUL>PSZVU (S`ZZH)LYLaUHR 9LaH-HYHaTHUK /H`SL`)PZJLNSPH4HY[PU (UNLSH*OLU (`LSL[)P[[VU 9LNPUH0W
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The UCSD Guardian 9500 Gilman Drive, 0316 La Jolla, CA 92093-0316 www.ucsdguardian.org
E RIK J EPSEN /G UARDIAN
First Row: Copy Editor Kelsey Marrujo, Staff Writer Brianna Lee, Staff Photographer Yvonne Heaney, Design Editor Emily Ku, Editorial Assistant ZoĂŤ Sophos, Staff Illustrator Rebekah Hwang, Senior Staff Writer Yelena Akopian. Second Row: Training and Development Manager Maria Sokolov, Focus Editor Edwin Gonzalez, Associate Opinion Editor Cheryl Hori, Staff Writer Jasmine Ta, Associate Hiatus Editor Arielle Sallai, Staff Photographer Andrew Oh. Third Row: News Editor Hayley Bisceglia-Martin, Staff Writer Arik Burakovsky, News Editor Angela Chen, Associate News Editor Regina Ip, Associate Focus Editor Neda Salamat, Copy Reader Anita Verghis, Associate Photo Editor John Hanacek. Fourth Row: Hiatus Editor Jenna Brogan, Photo Editor Erik Jepsen, Editor in Chief Simone Wilson, Opinion Editor Trevor Cox, Managing Editor Reza Farazmand, Associate Hiatus Editor Matthew Pecot, Associate Sports Editor Liam Rose, Associate Sports Editor Matthew Croskey. Back: Managing Editor Alyssa Bereznak, Sports Editor Vishal Natarajan. Not Pictured: Art Editor Christina Aushana, Associate News Editor Ayelet Bitton, Associate Design Editor Melody Chern, Associate Focus Editor Aprille Muscara, Art Editor Philip Rhie, Editorial Assistant Connie Qian, Web Editor Sari Thayer
THURSDAY, JUNE 3, 2010
THE UCSD GUARDIAN 3
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s the clock struck 6 p.m. and the chairs around me creaked with the late arrival of councilmembers, my first foray in the world of A.S. Council officially began. The meeting began with an emotional public input period. The incoming Movimiento Estudiantil Chicano de Aztlan Chair, Mar Velez, urged the council to side with MEChA and take a stand against the controversial Arizona immigration bill by passing a RUBA AKEL resolution that email@example.com condemns the Arizona legislature. Following last weekâ€™s associate vice president appointment drama â€” where the council tabled or voted down every candidate fledgling A.S. President Wafa Ben Hassine nominated for AVP positions â€” former AVP of College Affairs James Lintern offered his advice as to the most responsible way to decide on AVP candidates. The resolution on the Arizona bill returned to the forefront of council, with repeated objections voiced by former AVP Academic Affairs Jordan Taylor regarding the wording of the resolution and its relevance to UCSD students. Campuswide Senator Victor Flores countered Taylorâ€™s arguments and said the resolution was pertinent to all students. He pointed out that any student at UCSD who would visit Arizona â€” Grand Canyon roadtrip, anyone? â€” could be stopped by police if any suspicion over his or her legal status arose. After a lengthy discussion, the council ultimately passed the resolution condemning the bill.
Finally, the familiar debate over the Grove Cafe arose for the last time in its tumultuous, 24-year history. In a move parallel to last yearâ€™s similar debate, members spent about an hour debating the relative merits of the eatery and whether it was the councilâ€™s responsibility to keep the space open despite its thrice-failed business plan and growing debt. AVP of Enterprise Operations Brian McEuen and Vice President of Finance and Resources Andrew Ang â€” who jointly sponsored the legislation to close the Grove â€” both argued that the Grove would not cover from its nearly $180,000 debt and that closing the business would cut the councilâ€™s losses. The council only paused for a brief respite in their discussion of the Grove to charge a committee to find other business options to replace the area. Ultimately, in a decision opposite that from last year, councilmembers decided that keeping the Grove was not fiscally responsible and voted 17-2 to close the business by June 30. Council then moved on to New Business, where it passed a resolution in support of the Iranian Non-Violent Student Movement for Democratic Reform, which affirmed the councilâ€™s support of the Iranian Green Movement fighting for human rights. As I packed my bags, I made a mental note to bring snacks to the next meeting â€” especially when food enterprises are up for discussion. So stay classy, avid A.S. Council followers â€” Iâ€™ll see you in the fall.
â–ś NURSES, from page 1 the ability to negotiate with them when they decide.â€? According to Webb, the California Nurses Association recently presented UC medical centers with a resolution to the problem before resorting to a state-wide strike. â€œWe didnâ€™t come up with a cookie-cutter program,â€? Webb said. â€œWe made a recommendation based on each unit, what type of patients they have. We actually had a well thought out plan, and weâ€™d like to give it a try and enter a contract so that way weâ€™d actually be able to enforce the plan.â€? Webb said that the UC medical centers would benefit if more nurses were brought in to care for patients. â€œThere are all these issues theyâ€™re having at all hospitals in California, such as patients falling,â€? Webb said. â€œBreak nurses can help out with that kind of stuff â€” the little things that kind of fall through the cracks when people are on breaks.â€? She added that improving the nurse-to-patient ratio is a necessity in order to maintain quality care in the medical centers. â€œPeople deserve more time to take a deep breath,â€? Webb said. â€œYou canâ€™t really work that well if youâ€™re not going to have enough time to gather your thoughts, especially in this difficult field of work. You need it to give the patients the good care they deserve.â€? UCSD Health System spokesperson Kimberly Edwards claims the medical centers do not know what actions they will take in response to the strike. â€œItâ€™s too early in the process for speculation, financial or otherwise,â€? she said.
Readers can contact Connie Qian at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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4 THE UCSD GUARDIAN
and therefore more privatized public university not only contradicts its founding principles, but it also hurts California’s chances of bouncing back from its financial dilemma. October 1, 2009 “We’re Broke, But the Kingdom Gates Are Golden” A LESS-ACCESSIBLE
We’ve tried, throughout this year, to redo [the media guidelines], and essentially not fund [the Koala]. I don’t know if it’ll get rid of them, but on the part of A.S.,
WE CAN DEFUND THEM — we absolutely can defund them, and I believe we must defund them.”
A.S. COUNCIL has never demonstrated itself to be a particularly effective decisionmaking body — why leave them in charge of something as important as getting to and from campus? October 15, 2009 “Push Comes to Shove: We’ve Got to Shell Out” OUR 1968 FORAY into the football arena resulted in seven consecutive losses and no wins. We pulled the plug that year before embarrassing ourselves any further — and if forty years have made us any wiser, we’ll keep doing what we do best. October 29, 2009 “This Motley Kickoff Won’t End in a Touchdown”
of a “public comment period” the regents decided on this fee increase a long time ago. There is not a chance in hell they’ll compromise the prestige of our university or make more faculty cuts to keep student fees low. November 12, 2009 “Drop the Picket Signs for a Higher-Flying Hope”
DESPITE ANY ILLUSIONS
behind this particular party was obviously birthed from a lifetime of Lil Jon videos and Dave Chapelle stand-up — with which the droning, hyper-academic Dimensions of Culture reader apparently couldn’t compete. February 18, 2010 “Time for a Sit-Down” THE IDEA
so students will understand the potential consequences of their angry requests — but that’s not worth ... the jolting precedent it sets: casually cork the student voice when things get too noisy. February 22, 2010 “Stopping the Presses Won’t Heal the Hurt”
[GUPTA] MADE THE DECISION
UTSAV GUPTA A PRESIDENT, 2009-10 A.S. COUNCILL
February 25, 20100 “Media Orgs Defend Free-Speech Rights”” “AS A MINORITY STUDENT who sympathizes with the students that have been affected by the recent issues on campus, I am distraught to know thatt I have unintentionally added to their pain.”
March 1, 20100 “Noose in Geisel Was Not Intended d as a Threat”” where they should not have gone, and I believe we should respond appropriately. I don’t believe it is the chancellor’s role to shut the university down, and I believe would it be difficult for her to do so. I believe it is our role to do that.”
“THEY HAVE GONE
IVAN EVANS UCSD SOCIOLOGY PROFESSOR
March 1, 2010 “Shut It Down: Third Racist Incident Sends Protesters Into Chancellor’s Complex”
“SURE, WHAT I SAID taken out of context may be seen as horrible. But you have to understand that it’s in thee context of trying to raise the debate, trying to raise awareness. Right now, there’s only one side of the issue — it’s just BSU yelling at us. There is another side of the issue, which is that everyone is overreacting.”
KRIS GREGORIAN N EDITOR IN CHIEF, THE KOALA A
February 22, 20100 “When Liberties Collide””
how pained we are over this. We are heartsick.” “YOU CAN’T IMAGINE
PENNY RUE VICE CHANCELLOR, STUDENT AFFAIRS
March 1, 2010 “Shut It Down: Third Racist Incident Sends Protesters Into Chancellor’s Complex”
WHEN A CORNERSTONE OF SOCIETY like the black population, whose presence at this university means exponentially more than its sparse percentage, feels so threatened as to not be able to enter their own library, it becomes all of our problem. March 1, 2010 “Look Up: You’re Part of the Problem”
“I’M NOT SAYING that they don’t have the right to freedom of speech, but m where’s my right to be protected from that?”
THERE’S NOTHING TO DECODE and no need to devote any thought to figuring out what’s going on aside from trying to remember the lyrics to that other Drake song. April 1, 2010 “‘What Ever Happened to the Thrill of the Hunt?”
GRANT WHITE FRESHMAN, MARSHALL COLLEGE
February 22, 2010 “When Liberties Collide”
will ever get as much done as Gupta ... The only way Ben Hassine can achieve similar levels of productivity is to unite councilmembers so they can get shit done together. April 12, 2010 “Trash All Allegiances — The Work Starts Now”
NO FUTURE PRESIDENT
the resolution must be re-proposed each quarter, we hope its language can become clear enough to address the true wrongdoings in question ... and promote enough open-air hubbub to foster the kind of informed interest this topic deserves. April 29, 2009 “With Roundabout Politics in Play, No One Leaves Happy”
IT WILL ONLY GET WORSE
of Tritons for Israel are upset about how Justice in Palestine Week presented the facts of the conflict, we encourage them to take equal advantage of the student fees at their disposal and plan an event of their own. May 27. 2010 “In a Campuswide Debate, Silence Is Futile”
30 bucks for a quick thrill is steep — especially when there’s no physical contact involved. At the Scream Zone at the Del Mar Fairgrounds, you’ll squeal, you’ll moan and you’ll get your black and orange undergarments in a twist, guaranteed (maybe even moisten them). THESE DAYS,
October 26, 2009 The Scream Zone
We also believe that it is important to bring to the foreground the crisis that is part of the border, and to hold accountable those communities that just let people die in an unconsidered way.”
April 12, 2010 “Prof. Faces Scrutiny for Hacking Into UC Web Site”
WE BELIEVE ART IS NOT A CRIME.
RICARDO DOMINGUEZ UCSD VISUAL ARTS PROFESSOR
UNLESS YOU’RE a Student Center groupie, chances are you haven’t set foot in a co-op since you were required to buy an obscure Marxist textbook a few quarters back. April 22. 2010 “Co-ops Can’t Stay a Student Center Secret”
as time goes on, and the memory fades ... according to Bramwell, the administration will continue to push harder and harder for the festival to take place on a Saturday — and lord knows it will only take are a few spineless councilmembers to let that happen. May 13. 2010 “The Taming of the Beast: Sun God’s Sobering Fireside Tale”
ŕŉņ Śņłœ Ŋŏ
the masses can change money-minded policy up top is if policymakers feel their security legitimately threatened by a group of unified, reasonable individuals. September 28, 2009 “Don’t Just Walk Out: Tune in and Wake Up” THE ONLY WAY
J OHN H ANACEK /G UARDIAN
Israel was very cleverly kept out of it.”
“IT IS NOT ANTI-ISRAEL.
RISHI GHOSH MEMBER, DIVESTMENT FOR PEACE INITIATIVE
April 26, 2010 “A.S. Resolution Draws Criticism from Pro-Israel Groups”
YOU’LL FIND LEOPARD SHARKS hanging out by the La Jolla Beach and Tennis Club and sea lions guarding the entrance to the caves. And with the rush of tourist season coming to a close, you might just get them all to yourself.
feeling threatened, and we’re feeling unsafe. One thing I would like to urge is that this is not a pro-peace resolution.” “MY COMMUNITY IS
DAFNA BARZILAY PRESIDENT, TRITONS FOR ISRAEL
April 29, 2010 “Council Delays Decision on Human Rights Violations” among all those mysterious Convoy St. gems, existing for what seems to be a sole purpose of letting patrons get sloppy drunk and sing like they were in the privacy of their own shower. IT’S A DIAMOND
November 9, 2009 La Jolla Ecological Reserve
November 30, 2009 J Music Studio
ILLUSTRATIONS BY PHILIP RHIE/G UARDIAN
Old Town’s faux cowboy décor to get to the dim-lit corner store, its vast inventory — from strawberry blends to $65 boss-man picks — make it worth the neighborhood’s tortilla-plastered streets.
THOUGH YOU’LL HAVE TO STOMACH
February 8, 2010 Churchill Cigar Lounge
THE UCSD GUARDIAN 5
JUNE 3, 2010
What sort of gesture do you want? I’ve done two gestures. We actually took a pay cut before everybody else in June, and another pay cut in September. These are gestures. It’s below market. The chancellors had to do the same thing — it was a gesture.
HOW MANY GESTURES DO YOU WANT?”
MARK G. YUDOF PRESIDENT, UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA
October 5, 2009 “This Is Your President” “THIS IS A UC SCHOOL .
This is a state school. This isn’t Stanford. This is not Yale. This isn’t Harvard. We shouldn’t have to pay that much. It was designed to be top-notch education affordable for all people, particularly California residents — and it’s not meeting any of those standards. They really need to rethink why the UCs were created, and they need to go back to that original goal.” LAUREN DIDLY SENIOR , ELEANOR ROOSEVELT COLLEGE
I regret it, but the state has stopped building the highways to higher education — they’ve started building toll roads.”
January 11, 2010 “Can’t Make the Cut”
“TO STUDENTS: I’M SORRY,
MARK G. YUDOF PRESIDENT, UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA
They didn’t even look at us during public comment. What does that say?”
September 22, 2009 “‘Toll Roads to Education’”
VICTOR SANCHEZ PRESIDENT, UC STUDENT ASSOCIATION
WE GOT TASED and pepper-sprayed for doing a protest for our education. We were forced out of the deliberation room. That cannot be done. I got a gun taken out on me. People are being physically, mentally and emotionally hurt right now.”
STEPHANIE DE LOERA UCLA SOPHOMORE
November 19, 2009 “You Pay More”
“[THE REGENTS] DON’T GIVE A SHIT.
November 19, 2009 “You Pay More” university lecturers for 25 years and now for librarians, I’ve realized that the UC administration cannot be approached with rationale at the bargaining. [It is] not a rational institution.”
“AFTER NEGOTIATING FOR
MIKE ROTKIN CHIEF NEGOTIATOR, UC-AFT LIBRARY UNIT
economic benefits of making one $30 grocery trip for healthy, fresh food rather than what might amount to three separate $10 burrito runs on a daily basis — I was equally excited by the fact that my soon-to-be cooking skills would instantly make me more attractive. After all, what’s sexier than a home-cooked meal?
FORGET THE OBVIOUS
VISHAL NATARAJAN KITCHEN ACCOMPLISHED
October 5, 2009 “Drop That Onion Ring — Toss Your Own Salad” a sexy Halloween costume is in matching a lopsided cloth-to-skin ratio with some wit. On principle, Winnie the Pooh without pants is infinitely sexier than a girl in her bra and panties claiming to be a Victoria’s Secret model. Never underestimate the brainstorming power of a Google image search. THE ART OF
people are crazy. There’s moments where it’s more cerebral. There’s moments to focus on a technical thing — me scratching — or on a political statement…versus, OK, now we’re just going to smash our heads against the wall: Here’s some Metallica.”
the criticism of ‘caging’ Sun God to not have someone get hurt at a festival I was in charge of.”
I WOULD TAKE
ALEX BRAMWELL ASSOCIATE VICE PRESIDENT, A.S. CONCERTS AND EVENTS
May 13, 2010 “It’s Here”
May 13, 2010 “Sun God Preview: DJ Z-Trip”
JOE TEVELOWITZ CUP O’ JOE
January 28, 2010 “The Right to Victory Is Paved With Uncertainty” LIL WAYNE HAS MADE a lot of questionable choices — the bindi tattoo, to begin — but Feb. 2’s Rebirth is a UFO-sized cowpie to potentially outstink the lingering charms of all nerdy hiccups past. Ever wonder what Kid Rock would sound like with a mouthful of pokey grillpieces and Auto Tune on lock? Lust no longer, for the abominable whitetrash blackman has been unleashed.
SIMONE WILSON STRAIGHTER THAN NARROW
October 22, 2009 “This Hallow’s Eve, Beat Spandex Mediocrity”
February 4, 2010 “Weez-Bird Done Bad”
TELLING STORIES is the closest you will ever get to being a god. Ultimately, you are interpreting life. Fear and love, our most primal emotions, are the storyteller’s most effective weapons; pull the right punches, and people became putty in you hands. How on Earth do you think the Bible managed to hold up for so long.
PHILIP RHIE CRITICAL HIT!
October 22, 2009 “One Gamer God’s Case for Turning to Comics”
in attempting to make a sustainable choice, I’d added Typhoid-ridden Fijians to my list of day terrors. Now I wish I hadn’t lost the trendy Whole Foods canteen my mom got me for Christmas. I’d buy myself another one, but those things are like $25. ALYSSA BEREZNAK SEMI-CONSCIOUS CONSUMER
April 8, 2010 “Is That a Guilt Floatie in Your Water Bottle?” I START GETTING ANNOYED ,
for the longest two seconds of my life, motioned down with his eyes and said, “Normally, I at least have my pants on.” Apparently, you’re not supposed to prod players for interviews while they’re only wearing a towel. Lesson learned. FISHER STARED AT ME
March 11, 2010 “Librarians Negotiate for Higher Pay” THERE’S MOMENTS WHERE
as the city of New Orleans itself, but it helps people take their minds off of more sobering realities. Sometimes everyone needs a distraction from the bigger picture.”
FOOTBALL DOESN’T MATTER AS MUCH
and pray Blue Devils fan will shut up. Unfortunately, there isn’t an app for that. I decide to switch to ESPN’s ScoreCenter app. We finally discover that the score is 56-55 Duke, and I think to myself: “FML for missing this game.
JAKE BLANC BLANC ON BASE
MATT CROSKEY MATTER OF FACT
October 26, 2009 “One Night With the Pros”
April 8, 2010 “On the Road, iPhone Comes Through in the Clutch”
DON’T TELL US that we can hate the Yankees, but we have to like Derek Jeter. We don’t like Derek Jeter, and no matter how many times Joe Buck and Tim McCarver verbally fellate him, we will not like Derek Jeter. And again, he allegedly has herpes, and he allegedly gave those herpes to Jessica Alba — and she was hot, but now she allegedly has herpes too. Screw you, Derek Jeter.
JOE TEVELOWITZ & CAMERON TILLISCH CUP O’ JOE & TASTE O’ TILLISCH
November 2, 2009 “Four More Reasons to Hate on the Evil Empire” that can provide us with exciting memories. We just have to go to their games and stop complaining about what we don’t have, because you never know when you might become victim of a scandal as treacherous as “Sonicsgate.”
with Maradona and want to tell me what it was like?
EVER DO BLOW
LIAM ROSE ROSE PARADE
April 26, 2010 “The Return of the Great Messi-ah” I SCRATCHED THE SHIT OUT of my sister’s copy of Meteora by playing it on infinite repeat. I like to stay in my little musical nest, all comfy and familiar.
MATTHEW PECOT OFF THE RAILS
April 29, 2010 “Jonesin’ for a New Sound”
WE STILL HAVE TEAMS
E RIK J EPSEN /G UARDIAN
is a part of the learning process, but what we’ve learned is that we can’t do it.” SARAH LATOSKI EMPLOYEE, FOOD CO-OP
April 15, 2010 “Can They Get a Free Ride?” about KSDT is that since we’re students, we have horrible collective memory. Every four years, it gets completely erased.”
ONE OF THE THINGS
MEREDITH WONG GENERAL MANAGER, KSDT
ALLISON GAUSS BEHIND THE COUNTER
GUIDO KNUDSON JUNIOR PITCHER, BASEBALL
May 17, 2010 “Repeat Champs”
KELSEY MARRUJO THE SURF REPORT
space or meeting place. There is no public space where we can display our projects. We can’t put anything on the shelves [in the SRC]. We can’t put anything on the walls. We can only be there at certain hours. We’re forced to run our programs with no central locations.”
THE MOM FASHION SITE
November 9, 2009 “Scrunchies or Not, We All Have a Little Closet Shame”
WE HAVE NO FUNCTIONAL OFFICE
RISHI GHOSH DIRECTOR, STUDENT SUSTAINABILITY COLLECTIVE
January 21, 2010 “Locked Out”
in their judgment, and the bookstore’s trash bins are one InterVarsity flyer lighter for it, a part of me — a small, shamelessly attention-starved part — sort of wishes they’d still hoist their little promotional scraps at me anyway. Because as much as it may suck to be halted six times on the sprint to Pepper Canyon Hall, there’s no downer quite like being greeted by a Korean barbequer’s furtive glance at his feet.
May 17, 2010 “We Reserve the Right Not to Serve the Elderly” ON MOST OTHER CAMPUSES, the baseball players would be celebrated as heroic student-athlete gods, negotiating crowds of adoring students everywhere they went. Here, senior first baseman Brandon Gregorich ... is about as anonymous as the next pre-med major.
May 20, 2010 “Wake Up UCSD — Your Baseball Team is the Best in the Nation”
BUT EVEN IF THEY’RE SPOT- ON
about old friends: the fact that those unbearable weirdos can now view my Pandora stations at will. At will! That means whenever they want. I’m not saying I have anything to hide, but I don’t exactly go around advertising the fact that I still listen to Cursive. Beacause I don’t. I swear.
HERE’S WHAT I DON’T LOVE
TREVOR COX AT WIT’S END
January 11, 2010 “It’s a Long Trek to Class — Solicitors Still Welcome”
November 16, 2009 “KSDT’s Hunt for a New Wave”
November 5, 2009 “Take a Note from Brutal ‘Sonicsgate’ Fiasco” [www.mymomthestyleicon] is evidence that, once upon a time, our mothers strived to be emblems of fashion. They strutted their stuff, just like you and I — some maybe even at UCSD, checking themselves out in Geisel’s mirrored walkway.
THE FEELING OF BEING on the mound [at the end] was phenomenal. It was like things happened in slow motion. Just the first person view of Kellen [Lee], who is a brother to me, running at full speed at me with his arms out was something I will never forget.”
I AGREE THAT PAYING RENT
JANANI SRIDHARAN PEANUTS & CRACKERJACKS
— employees of a measly college trough — get in return for such overwhelming hospitality? … Out of all of them, two cups of coffee. Small ones (on a good day).
AND WHAT DO WE
TREES DROWN IN MIST. Silence. Acorns fall like gunfire on the roof of the cabin … Holy shit, is that deer walking around with a stillborn hanging out of its uterus?
November 5, 2009 “Antichrist”
takes itself too seriously, never pausing long enough to have real emotional impact — and with maudlin, score-driven scenes orchestrated to draw out phony feelings, it’s almost hard not to feel used.
A FILM THIS UPLIFTING, this strangely disarming, this relevant and even timeless, is enough to make an audience cry and laugh at the same time (just when you thought happy-sad must be a promotional myth), and sometimes simply stare in a stupefied hush.
November 19, 2009 “The Blind Side”
December 3, 2009 “Up in the Air”
REZA FARAZMAND HEAD MEETS GROUND
May 27, 2010 “Get Out Now: The Internet’s Hit List Spares No Man”
THIS IS ABOUT VIOLENCE, sex and kickass American good guys in Paris’ grimy streets. Even plot holes go down easier with a fistful of coke and a quart — or in this case, a liter — of blood.”
February 4, 2010 “From Paris With Love”
6 THE UCSD GUARDIAN
THURSDAY, JUNE 3, 2010
FOR ALL UCSD STUDENTS AND FACULTY
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THE UCSD GUARDIAN 7
+W]VKQT+ZMI\M[+WUUQ\\MM\W-`XTWZM7\PMZ*][QVM[[>MV\]ZM[\W:MXTIKM/ZW^M +W]VKQTUMUJMZ[ +ITT+WUUQ\\MM ;MTMK\QWV*QI[ML
▶ GROVE, from page 1 the business has only made an average of $525 each day. “I would say that the whole process and attempt to revitalize the Grove failed,” Ang said. “It was a good effort, and there were plans, but at the moment there is definitely nothing else we can do. It’s too much in debt for us to really do anything right now.” McEuen said the cafe was closed because its high debt and competition decreased the likelihood that it would bring in the necessary profits to operate sustainably. “We are subsidizing the Grove,” McEuen said. “To cover the debt, we would need to make over $2,000 a day to cover our debt next year. With all the coffee and sandwich businesses on this campus, that’s not going to happen.” The legislation to shut down the Grove — which was sponsored by McEuen — called for the eatery to officially close on June 30. In order to close the venue, the council must pay the unresolved debt with money from its reserve funding and other enterprise income. The council has yet to develop an official debt repayment plan, but will no longer need to account for extra Grove expenses in its official 2010-11 budget. A few councilmembers were concerned that the council’s quick decision neglects the Grove’s long history. Former A.S. President Utsav Gupta released a statement on the A.S. listserv two hours following the decision, condemning the council’s actions. “The Grove has been a campus establishment for over two decades,” Gupta said in the statement. “The council moved to eliminate it in a little over 24 hours. There was no public input offered through public forums, I doubt anyone who worked at the Grove was notified, and there was no committee process to review
employees feel a lot of ownership the fiscal performance of the Grove.” The decision to shut down the over the space, and that’s fantastic. I Grove came on the heels of the coun- would have no problem with that if it cil’s repeated efforts to make the was a self-sustaining venture, but it’s business profitable. This year, for- not. It’s a liability for the Associated mer VP of Finance and Resources Students.” Ghosh added that the sense of Peter Benesch and former AVP of Enterprise Operations Rishi Ghosh proprietorship the student managbegan plans to make over the cafe ers feel may have compromised their with renovations to the facilities, new ability to operate the Grove as a busiequipment for the kitchen area and a ness. “I would say that there’s definitely reopening event — costing approximately $6,000 — that offered free a reluctance from the student workers to think critically about the issues food for four days. [facing the Grove] and “There’s some basic to actually reform themsimple things that could selves,” Ghosh said. “I be changed about the think they were much business model that could happier without any make the Grove a profitAs an A.S. and sort of accountability to able, if not at least selfsustaining business venas a business- themselves or the general body.” ture,” Benesch said. “For owning entity, student The Grove’s lack of that reason, I argued for it’s ﬁscally prominence on camkeeping the Grove open irresponsible pus is represented by this past year. Myself and a survey councilmemRishi [Ghosh] put in an for us to keep bers conducted Winter incalculable amount the Grove.” Quarter, after the of time to revitalize the Grove, but the enterprise ANDREW ANG reopening. Of the 1,600 students who particiis still failing and there’s VICE PRESIDENT OF pated, 42 percent said really no help for it.” FINANCE AND they do not go the Grove Ghosh said that, RESOURCES and 24 percent said they despite all the efforts, the do not know about the Grove still experienced a significant decrease in sales that Grove. Ang and McEuen used these stahe believes can only be attributed to embezzlement or poor customer tistics, combined with the Grove’s decreasing sale numbers, to urge service. “I cannot think of any rational councilmembers to vote to close the explanation of this apart from some- cafe. “I know a lot of people will be one skimming money off the top of the accounts to the point where voting on what was, but please sepathey’re taking out a large percent of rate from what was and look to the the money,” Ghosh said. “It’s also like- future,” Ang said. “It’s been failing ly that people weren’t coming back and it’s going to keep failing. Do we want the debt to grow to $200,000, due to poor customer service.” Benesch and Ghosh agreed that $250,000 or over $300,000? Look at it Grove’s current student-run business from a financial point of view.” Only two council members voted model was another major factor in not to close the Grove, saying that the Grove’s failure. “The Grove kind of operates on they hoped instead to hold off handthe co-op model,” Benesch said. “The ing over the space to University
Centers and replace the cafe with a new business venture. “Our A.S. Council has the potential to grow so much,” President Wafa Ben Hassine said. “We are a new council and we have yet to see our potential. At least for the time being, I think we should hold off on handing over the space.” However, the Grove’s contract states that its space agreement is contingent upon it offering “limited food service.” Thus, if the council were to replace the Grove with a different business, the contract would be terminated regardless. Upon the Grove’s official June 30 closure, the space will be returned to University Centers. As a part of the vote to close the Grove, the council created a committee — proposed by Campuswide Senator Elizabeth Elman — to discuss potential alternative business ventures that could replace the Grove’s in its current location. However, such proposals would require approval by the University Centers Advisory Board and University Centers administrators — a lengthy process that requires significant market research. The committee to explore alternative enterprises for the Grove will consist of three council members, and will report its findings within the first two weeks of Fall Quarter 2010. Councilmembers who supported closing the Grove said they hope to instead focus efforts on the A.S. store, which will be opening next year. “As an A.S. and as a business-owning entity, it’s fiscally irresponsible for us to keep the Grove,” Ang said. “We’ll also be opening the A.S. store next year, so we also have to divert our resources there, to an enterprise that will most likely be successful and one that will not have the financial downfall that the Grove has right now.”
▶ AVP, from page 1 “There was little bit of miscommunication that was cleared up with a few individuals,” Ben Hassine said. “A couple of the senators may have felt that the selection process was biased or unfair.” According to current AVP of Student Advocacy Chris Cruz, councilmembers claimed that Ben Hassine formed the selection committees in a biased manner. They claimed that Ben Hassine never replied to e-mails requesting to serve on the selection committees, which lead to a loaded committee. Ben Hassine claimed the miscommunication was due to the lack of staff, who would have otherwise responded to the requests. She declined to state the names of the aforementioned councilmembers since the meeting was closed-session, which means councilmembers cannot disclose specifics to the public. “None of us had staff and [the e-mails were sent] during the transition period,” Ben Hassine said. “That’s why a lot of the e-mails weren’t responded to but, traditionally, that doesn’t really happen.” Ben Hassine added that disagreements arose over the nominees’ qualifications for the position. “Many senators felt that a closer evaluation of AVPs’ qualifications was necessary before they’re appointed their respective positions,” Ben Hassine said. For example, Sharma said councilmembers preferred another candidate for the Student Advocacy position. The council will reevaluate AVP applicants when the application period reopens during Week Four of Fall Quarter.
Readers can contact Ayelet Bitton at email@example.com.
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8 THE UCSD GUARDIAN
TONIGHT Tired of studying for ﬁnals? International Club and I-House are hosting a Bon-Voyage dance at 8 p.m. in the Loft. Alcohol will be available for 21 and over. Just be sure to bring your student ID.
My Life Is IV IVÅVi\e 8TIyTis\
THURSDAY, JANUARY 21, 2010
IN THE SUMMERTIME
WHEN THE WEATHER IS FINE
You’ll have enough spare time to enough to enjoy a couple blockbusters and an LP or two. FILMS
Dodging tthe he
weekend Four Loko binges; Dookie recalls that middle school punk stage which took too long to grow out. It provides the soundtrack to nearly every moment of our lives. Personally, I’ve spent hours crafting the perfect mix for important moments of my life. For my senior prom, I made the ultimate ‘80s playlist, just so I could drive around in a limo through San Francisco to the Talking Heads. As a freshman, I burned the new songs I scavenged from Limewire onto CDs for my friends. They called me “the Mix Master,” and it gave me a big fucking ego. These days I still make endless mixes for whatever scenario I might find myself in: the hazy trip to Las Vegas, the long, summer nights I spend talking to my best friend in the street, the windy drive through the back roads of my hometown. There’s the perfect song for every moment and it is my mission to find it. (Just so you know, for the aforementioned events I’d pick “Combination Pizza Hut and Taco Bell” by Das Racist, “Range Life” by Pavement and “Ocean Breathes Salty” by Modest Mouse, respectively.) When music can define an entire portion of your life, it’s even better, as my fellow editors and I proved last weekend. Delving through the depths of my iPod, we uncovered the perfect driving songs for our perilous trek to the Anza-Borrego desert. Vintage fare was the fitting request, so my classic rock collection banged against the looming mountains as we blasted Bowie and gleefully belted “Ch-ch-chch-changes!” It didn’t stop there. After Ranger Sue shut down our impromptu rager — which consisted of blasting raunchy hip-hop long past quiet hours — we switched to beatboxing. (Nothing will ever top our campfire remix of “The Lion Sleeps Tonight.”) And when we discovered a giant portable speaker in a latecomer’s car, it was like finding an oasis in the barren landscape, sparking an early morning dance party and a Beatles-fueled siesta when the heat proved too powerful. As the music nerd that I am underpaid to be, the moments I associate with a song are clearly significant. While a good conversation and the desert scenery flashing by as I drive are just as important in memory, music plays a vital role too. On top of the amazing hikes and completely belligerent nights, last weekend will always play back in my head to Shakira’s “Time for Africa (Waka Waka).” And I’m not the only one who orchestrates her life soundtrack. There are others out there who swoon at the thought of blasting “Bittersweet Symphony” on the open road, and there are certainly others who worry over the perfect playlist like I do. So own up to your obsession, geeks: I gave up on my pride years ago.
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his sounds like it was ripped off a pseudo-punk pin from Hot Topic, but I have to admit: music is my life. Deny it all you want, but it’s all of ours, really. The melancholy strums of Nick Drake are the soundtrack to grueling all-nighters; “Telephone” fuels
ARIELLE SALLAI firstname.lastname@example.org
INCEPTION JULY 16
s if exposing us all to the psychosis of the Joker wasn’t enough, “The Dark Knight” director Christopher Nolan wants to put us through some more mind-fuck. With “Inception,” Nolan posits us in an M.C. Escher world of optical illusions. City roads fold up like origami; buildings collapse; Joseph GordonLevitt charges down a pinwheeling corridor, defying gravity. At the forefront of a new form of corporate
espionage, Dom Cobb (DiCaprio) sneaks into his victims’ dreams, stealing coveted ideas and inventions that could “transform the world and rewrite all the rules.” To save himself from the loveless life of a fugitive, he takes on one last job. This time, instead of filching, he must cause an “inception” — planting an idea in someone’s head. With such a confusing plot, it’s clear that Nolan won’t be giving us any helpful hints. Between its cryptic title, stealth marketing (the first trailer was void of dialogue) and topsecret script (the actors could only read it in Nolan’s office), “Inception” will be way overdue come its arrival on July 16. — Leila Haghighat Senior Staff Writer
XTINA TRADES RETRO SOUL FOR POSEUR HIPSTER BEATS
lot has happened in Xtina’s life since her last release, 2006’s Back to Basics. She’s settled down with her manager, popped out a kid and Bionic become an actress. RCA But despite any signs of maturation, Aguilera’s latest is an overproduced ode to clubbing, boozing and boys — sprinfamiliar, and for good reason: Aguilera cokled with a few out-of-place moments of mothwrote “Bionic” with M.I.A. and collaborated erly reflection in a return to her “Dirrty” roots. with Santigold producer Switch on the latter On slow jam “Sex for Breakfast,” Aguilera to churn out a pair of thumping imitations — croons she “wants you deep inside of me,” folwhich almost make up for a complete lack of lowed up by a 20-second interlude of her twooriginality with sheer danceability. year-old son imitating mom’s trademark beltThere is, however, one consistent selling ing. (Good thing the kid’s too young to underpoint in Aguilera’s jumbled treatise on motherstand any noises from the parents’ room.) hood and getting laid. Xtina’s booming vocal Other, less-than-subtle low points include range is on full display throughout, including a botched attempt at flaunting girl power on on flopped first single “Not Myself Tonight.” adolescent anthem “I Hate Boys,” on which By final cut “Vanity,” though, even those pipes Aguilera spouts banana innuendos to a toocan’t save Aguilera from the revelation that this common drumming beat. self-proclaimed bad bitch is past her prime. In fact, even Bionic’s shining moments — Trevor Cox (“Elastic Love,” “Bionic”) sound a little too Senior Staff Writer
TOY STORY 3 JUNE 18
ifteen long years after its inception, Pixar/Disney is finally releasing the third installment of the “Toy Story” franchise on June 18. The pressure of living up to the recognizable film series is a crushing one —but the tested brilliance of screenwriter Michael Arndt (“Little Miss Sunshine”) promises a film worthy of the “Toy Story” name. Since many of the trilogy’s original followers are now clambering into dilapidated cars headed off to college, the film sets its sights on higher education. “Toy Story 3” follows its audience’s growth as Woody’s longtime owner Andy sets off for university. A mix-up leads Andy’s mother to believe that the toys — except Woody — are garbage. Woody’s attempt to rescue his fellow playthings lands them in a daycare. Fed up with the sticky-fingered rampage that ensues, the gang devises a plan to escape the plastic-plush prison and reunite with Andy. Though the overarching separation anxiety is fairly typical of a “Toy Story” film, the nuanced nostalgia it inspires in its aging audience will be sure to inspire Rexsized tears from parents and graduating seniors alike. With animation that shines brighter than that of its 1995 predecessor, “Toy Story 3” is bound to be another adventurous romp through Toyland, and hopefully will prove to be as lovable as the first two. — Neda Salamat Senior Staff Writer
ne thing M.I.A. knows is that controversy sells. To prepare for her third album, Maya, the superstar released a gruesome music video — an 8:56 minute slaughterfest of gingers — to accompany “Born Free.” A political statement, maybe, but so graphic it was banned from YouTube. Stirring up even more uproar, after a New York Times reporter wrote an unflattering feature that claimed her political shtick was unauthentic, M.I.A. turned to her Twitter to defend herself, saying, “I’ll [be] taking calls all day bitches,” which was followed by the writer’s phone number — ouch. M.I.A. has described this newest album as “schizophrenic,” which aptly describes “Born Free” and “XXXO” — tracks dominated by chaotic beats that underpin M.I.A.’s breezy style. “Born Free,” in particular, has M.I.A. going in a decidedly punk direction, layering her rhymes with an unrelenting bass line. If she continues the controversy, come July 13, people will definitely be talking about M.I.A. — whether the album actually delivers or not. — Imran Manji Staff Writer
EAT, PRAY, LOVE
ven if you’re not a member of Oprah’s Book Club, you’ve probably heard of “Eat, Pray, Love” — the New York AUGUST 13 Times bestseller that documents a woman’s yearlong trip abroad, spent traipsing in three countries and escaping a midlife crisis. Naturally, Hollywood recognized the novel’s matronly following for its cash-cow potential. Starring the talented — yet, far too beautiful for the role — Julia Roberts, the film promises to be this summer’s token chick flick. But before you dismiss it as 2010’s “Mamma Mia!” consider two things: Robert Richardson, the visionary behind “Inglourious Basterds,” “The Aviator” and “Kill Bill” is director of photography, and Javier Bardem … ’nuff said. — Jenna Brogan Hiatus Editor
THURSDAY, JUNE 3, 2010
THE UCSD GUARDIAN9
STARRING ADRIAN BRODY, SARAH POLLEY DIRECTED BY VINCENZO NATALI RATED R 1:04
ITâ€™S ALIVE! ITâ€™S A MONSTER! ITâ€™S ... NOT THAT EXCITING.
n an interview with The Guardian, director Vincenzo Natali calls his sci-fi horror flick â€œSpliceâ€? â€œan exploration of inner space instead of outer space â€Ś itâ€™s emotional horror.â€? Unfortunately, that emotion leaves the audience wondering just where this inner-space exploration was supposed to be headed. The film follows scientist couple Clive (Adrien Brody) and Elsa (Sarah Polley) as they experiment with creating hybrid animals for medical purposes. The couple creates Dren (Delphine ChanĂŠac), beginning a Frankenstein-esque tale as Dren rapidly grows from a small kangaroo/rat into a sentient almosthuman with a stinger tail.
Natali is best known for the 1997 psychological thriller â€œCube,â€? and â€œSpliceâ€? has moments of disturbing insight that would put Freud to shame. But other than those scant instances, the characters are flat, bouncing between dull extremes of tenderness and psychosis. Elsa is the typical smothering mother, while Clive is the responsible scientist who spouts off about how they crossed a line creating Dren in the first place. Itâ€™s no better when they switch soapboxes halfway through the film; theyâ€™re just flat in different ways. The scriptâ€™s tentative explorations of ethical questions â€” like why Elsa would create and raise Dren â€” show that itâ€™s trying to live up to â€œCubeâ€?. In addition, when Clive finally under-
stands the disturbed reasoning thatâ€™s been going on in Elsaâ€™s head, his reaction is one of the few moments where â€œSpliceâ€? lives up to the emotional-horror label. Not to say that the film is without its purported tender moments. â€œItâ€™s really a mother-daughter story,â€? Natali said. â€œThe primary relationship in the film is Elsa and Dren.â€? That dynamic would have come through a little more if â€œSpliceâ€? took the time to establish such details. Instead, viewers are railroaded through a series of abrupt revelations: Elsa had a bad relationship with her dead mother. Aforementioned dead mother had a farm. Clive and Elsa need to hide
Dren from their company. The movieâ€™s full of faux emotionally charged moments, like Clive trying to drown an already choking Dren and â€” surprise! â€” it turns out Dren can breathe underwater. Elsa, thinking he saved their pseudodaughter from choking to death, asks, â€œHow did you know?â€? Clive just shrugs, and thatâ€™s about all you can do too. â€œSpliceâ€? does have moments where it goes deeper than the surface. In the end, the characters donâ€™t have any more depth than before, but the effect is so bizarre that it sets â€œSpliceâ€? apart from other creature shockers. â€” Matthew Pecot
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ALBUM RELEASE PARTY!
Associate Hiatus Editor
Associate Hiatus Editor
ouâ€™re walking through an independent record store, flipping idly through some 12-inch singles, searching for the obscure artists your hipster heart desires, when â€” all of a sudden â€” you stumble across a sleeveless record, blank except for one very important band name. Itâ€™s the new single from Arcade Fire. You have just struck gold. Thatâ€™s exactly how the Montreal band has packaged the new tunes from their forthcoming LP, The Suburbs. When the first record turned up at a shop in Glasgow, the Internet exploded with buzz over the new tracks, and inevitably, the single and B-side â€” â€œSuburbsâ€? and â€œMonth of May,â€? respectively â€” have been leaked. â€œSuburbsâ€? is typical Arcade Fire fare: Slow, melodic piano builds over the gentle strum of acoustic guitar as frontman Win Butler spews his best imitationSpringsteen lyrics about growing up in the heartland. Meanwhile, â€œMonth of Mayâ€? offers a curiously aggressive rock sound â€” more befitting Queens of the Stone Age than the reserved Arcade Fire. It seems strange, but hot damn, it actually works. Still, compared to the moments of pure brilliance on their previous recordings, the new tracks donâ€™t quite measure up. Then again, itâ€™s a hard task to follow two nearly perfect albums; letâ€™s just hope The Suburbs has a few more gems in store. â€” Arielle Sallai
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JUNE 3, 2010 UCSD GUARDIAN SENIOR SENDOFFS
E RIK J EPSEN /G
KELSEY MARRUJ COPY EDITORt$0-6./*45
G JOHN HANACEK/GUARDIAN
EDITOR IN CHIEFt."/"(*/(&%*503 )*"564&%*503t%&4*(/&3
alf a decade ago, on Wednesday of Week 10, I was already dreaming of this day: The Last Production. Outgoing Guardian pillars like Grant, Vlad, Ian and Cody — gods in my eyes — were drowning their seniorities in some Arrogant Bastard while I sat miserable in my fugly attempt at a Summer Movie Preview design. I bushwhacked blind through a first-ever round of edits; meanwhile, thenHiatus Editor Cody blasted SoCal pop-punk (the Bouncing Soles, who still hold a special place in my iPod) and proceeded to get so sloshed he barely got his album review in before dusk. My only consolation was that, one day, it would be me in the party hat. It’s tradition: The restless crew of outgoing seniors is supposed to get drunk and stumble around the office the last day, jeering the incoming editors until they
regret the day they decided to apply. I wish I could sit back and savor their pain with some fine boxed wine. But my state of sober (sort of) stress today is a testament to the over-involved, often psycho grip with which I run the Guardian. For the good of everyone, it’s my time to move on. All through Fall Quarter, there was a knot of worry in my gut that UCSD’s official newspaper wouldn’t be equipped to uphold its history of greatness next year. About one month after meeting incumbent Editor in Chief Angela Chen, though, it had disappeared completely. Angela: Because of you, I will be able to take on my future without looking back with fear or regret. You never deserved an eye-roll— not even once. You’re the most open, honest learner I’ve encountered at this school; you listen, you’re never overconfident or defensive, and you ask questions. For that, you will be rewarded
with skill. Guaranteed. Keep keeping it real, and come 2013, you too could be spraying Four Loko off the hood of your Corolla in the 7-11 parking lot. To the rest of the incomers: Your work this quarter has surpassed my wildest expectations. Hayley: You’re the strongest writer on staff. Read more Esquire, and you’ll be downright bomb. Arielle: You’re an angel, and you know your shit. Keep my baby classy. Neda: Focus, but never let go of Hiatus — it suits you. Cheryl: You’re the glue, and that’s everything. Take more photos, but demand more massages. Regina: You surprise me every day. Keep it up. Liam: You’re my favorite. Especially for standing up to us when we’re assholes. Masha: I never thought strict could be so sweet. Enforce the schedule like I never could. Melody: Have fun with that shit. I secretly want your job. Trevor: Come ▶ PAGE 14
enerally speaking, I loathe camping. Yet somehow, I found myself in the middle of the damn desert last Frida over that papery tent material while I listened to stumbling drunks sing a co These others — were they kidnappers? Hooligans? Reality TV producer Try a group of UCSD journalists whose existence was unbeknownst to m
ay, crumpled in the fetal position onfused version of the blues. rs? â–ś PAGE 13 me my first two
E RIK J EPSEN /G UARDIAN
here is something profoundlyy different about newspaper people. Resilient, unpredictable, dangerously curious and decidedly unconcerned with their own well-being, they are a breed designed for action. They work strange hours and harbor strange habits. They deprive themselves of food, sleep, social interaction and anything else indicative of a sane human existence. They admire efficiency. They abhor waste. They are egomaniacs â€” admittedly vain, overly ambitious, disgustingly self-confident and completely self-aware. In private, they are idealists. In public, they are vocal skeptics, averse to the flowery bullshit of rhetorical activism and entirely unimpressed by the selfsustaining fanfare of institutional politics. They are the most loyal of friends, the most critical of enemies and the most prolific of shit talkers. They are up-front. They are real. They tend to look pretty haggard most of the time, but they wear it well. Over the last four years, I have had the immense pleasure of being surrounded by newspaper people for the majority of my waking moments, and a few too many of my non-waking moments. Though I have given
MANAGING EDITORt/&84&%*503 "440$*"5&/&84&%*503t$"3500/*45 up more than I will ever know to be a part of this organization, these people â€” who I am honored to call my friends â€” have made every second entirely worth it. To Charles and the rest of the old guard (Rael, McCardle and Hadley): You guys took me in, brought me up and made me feel at home here. Charles, you taught me how to be critical of everything, and for that I cannot thank you enough. Rael, you are the chillest son of a bitch around, and I am confident that â€” had I never met you â€” I would be a considerably lamer person. To Jesse, Kim and Yelena: We were the news crew. I could always depend on you for quality reporting, much-needed moral support and cutty back-room sessions. To Alyssa: Although I am the single most talented writer in the world, I cannot find the words on Thesaurus.com to describe how much your friendship means to me. There is no one else I would rather have spent four years on the Guardian with than you. You were a better managing editor than
me. Donâ€™t let that go to your head, though. To Simone: You are something new â€” raw, unyielding, completely committed to the rejection of any and all things conventional. Arguing with you is like arguing with a tiger that coughs a lot. For that, I love you, and I canâ€™t stress enough how great a job youâ€™ve done as chief. I would sing like Justin Bieber if I thought it would make you happy. To Phil: You are my brother. You give life to the bizarre things in my head. You inspire me to be a better artist. You are one of the most talented creative minds I know, and it has been an absolute joy to work with you this past year. And weâ€™re just getting started. To Emily: You have never once failed to amaze me with the work you produce. I donâ€™t know how you do it, but you are an endless pool of artistic skill and deadpan humor rolled into one tiny, twirling, dashtastic bundle of awesomeness. LOST. To Edwin: Fuck you, bitch. You are the funniest motherfucker I
know. To Angela and Hayley: My girls. I am so proud of how far both of you have come this year. Thank you for sticking it out, rising brilliantly to the task and being the best damn news writers this paper has seen since that guy Reza graduated. Youâ€™re going to do a phenomenal job next year. I know weâ€™re leaving the Guardian in capable hands. To Trevor: If I had to pick 12 people to be in my ultimate party crew, you would be number six. To Kelsey: I am jealous of your copy-editing skills. To Cheryl and Arielle: Roadtrip posse for life. Please play good music at production next year. To Vishal: My method is still superior. Put that in your pipe and smoke it. And to all of the rest of you who have shaped my experience at the Guardian: Thank you for being the zaniest, hardest-working, most overthe-top crew of intellectual misfits I have ever known. Being around you has made me a more complete person.
ALYSSA BEREZNAK MANAGING EDITORt01*/*0/&%*503 '0$64&%*503t"440$*"5&'0$64&%*503
E RIK J EPSEN /G UARDIAN
y time at the Guardian has been somewhat of a reallife nightmare. In my fouryear career as a writer and editor, I have endured far too many Redbullfueled all-nighters, faced countless 3 a.m. disasters and lived beneath the rainy cloud of a perpetual deadline. In fact, the only time Iâ€™ve ever really been able to escape the G is when Iâ€™m asleep. But like I said, I donâ€™t sleep very often. Still, as I reminisce about my monotonous academic career at UCSD, it was usually the only good reason to be awake in the first place. Not to rag on all my lit/writing courses, but the terrifying gaze of 20,000 undergraduate eyes sort of scared me into improvement. Instead of a comfy workshop circle to test out my ideas, there was just a crowd of ruthless twentysomethings ready to say â€œYou suck.â€? So thanks, even if youâ€™re the most noncommittal Guardian reader â€” my fear of your judgment has made me better at my job. The way I see it, if it werenâ€™t for this paper, I would still be writing bad poems in my Moleskin, waiting to graduate so I could move on to undefined bigger, better things. The Guardian has taught me to live in the moment in the most intense way possible â€” even if that means letting
other parts of my life fall apart. Besides maybe inserting the word â€œpoopyâ€? into an editorial a couple weeks ago, I have no regrets. I know whatâ€™s important to me now, and thatâ€™s all I ever really wanted from college. Iâ€™m also guessing that, after thousands of hours of slave labor at an understaffed publication, I will probably never have to work this hard again in my life. Now for shout-outs: Matt M., when I first joined, your infectious laugh and epic parties made me drool with admiration. Hadley, now that Iâ€™ve worked with you, I know I can work with anyone. Dave, thanks for adopting Focus when it needed a no-fluff parent most, and for the leopard couch. We still need to visit that beehive. Trevor, since you survived that Wedge nightmare, Iâ€™ve always know you were one helluva trooper. Hayley, thanks for not quitting after I stood you up at 6 a.m. last year. Cheryl, I wish you could massage me until the end of time. Angela, girl, you da boss now â€” â€™nuff said. Emily, I love your droopy office dance. Vishal, Iâ€™m making the Jamaican horn sound for you as I type. Kelsey, youâ€™re cute enough to rival some big-time YouTube kitten videos, and youâ€™re a really dedicated worker to boot. Edwin, itâ€™s
going to be you plus me plus hot sake this Friday â€” and many NY outings to come. Sari and Shida: It might not seem like much, but the fact that you read what we write every week means a lot. Thanks for being the perfect distractions â€” without all those dance parties and delicious dinners, I wouldâ€™ve overdosed on Guardian. Reza and Simone: Iâ€™ve tried not to spew Sun God-esque affection this whole sendoff, but what the hell. I love you guys. Reza, youâ€™re my trusty coworker and friend, and I will always appreciate how well you handled me breaking your tooth. Iâ€™m going to miss being shady and jaded with you. Simone, my Guardian recruiter and yearlong companion: There were many Winter Quarter moments where you couldâ€™ve settled for a slightly shoddier paper, but you never did, and Iâ€™ll admire you forever for it. No matter how much time we spent together, I never really got sick of you (thatâ€™s my way of saying you rock). If you ever consider launching your fuckup career on the East Coast, Iâ€™ll make sure to scope you some sturdy cardboard boxes. In the meantime, take good care of Clubby for me. Newbies, I canâ€™t wait to see what youâ€™ve got. Itâ€™s all in your hands now. Make me proud.
12THE UCSD GUARDIAN
THURSDAY, JUNE 3, 2010
JAKE BLANC MATTHEW CROSKEY SPORTS EDITORt$0-6./*45
E RIK J EPSEN /G UARDIAN
should start learning karate now. Or maybe Jiu-Jitsu. Hell, even Tae Bo would be a step in the right direction. After four years of talking some serious smack, I’m graduating, and I have to stop hiding up in the ivory tower of my Guardian columns. This means that the many people I offended — mostly Dodgers and Yankees fans, but also fair amounts of pro-Israel, Obama-loving, Prius-driving middle-class elites — would love a chance to share their “opinions” with me in person. I’m not too worried about taking on the folks angered by my progressive politics, but I do not want to meet a pissed-off New Yorker in a dark alley. In any case, the time has finally come to leave the Guardian, UCSD and Southern California behind. As much
as I am overjoyed to be done with college and start some new adventures, I’m actually pretty sad to say goodbye to the people and experiences that made my time here so great, and a lot of that credit needs to go to the best damn newspaper in the country. I got my start with the Guardian as a sports writer when two high school friends and former sports editors — Rael Enteen and Danai Leininger — convinced me to start writing. Those first articles covering the bottom of UCSD’s sports totem poll got me going, and for four years, I wrote as much as I could get my hands on. As a sophomore, I felt comfortable enough to branch out into other sections. By my senior year, I had hit the proverbial Guardian cycle: having written for all five sections. Too many ▶ PAGE 14
J OHN H ANACEK /G UARDIAN
ASSOCIATE SPORTS EDITOR
would like to raise a toast: To the Guardian and its staff. Without you both, my final year on this campus would not have been as kick-ass as it was. As I sit in this muggy office at 2 a.m. — long
past first, second and third edits — I couldn’t be happier. My journey with the Guardian has evolved from a sports writer’s e-mail relationship to a full-fledged bromance as the ▶ PAGE 14
ilm critics know that every good movie has a good ending. Don’t worry, I won’t spoon-feed you a load of a crap about happily-ever-afters, but I will say this: After four years of toiling over quotations, semicolons and em dashes, I’m going out with a bang. If you told me four years ago that one day I would be Hiatus editor, I would have laughed in your face. I never spoke up at newspaper meetings, my favorite film is “Little Miss Sunshine” and I may or may not have symptoms of Bieber fever. But before you judge me, I’ll bet even A.O. Scott taps his foot whenever Britney Spears comes on the radio. Honestly, when did pretension become such a redeeming quality? If always agreeing with the Academy’s picks for best films of the year makes you an authority in the arts-and-entertain-
ment realm, then revoke my title. Truth is: If the rhythm moves me, I’m going to dance. I don’t need some Rolling Stone writer to tell me what music I like. If Sandra Bullock’s Oscar win for “The Blind Side” is any indication, fame is little more than a popularity contest. Every time I walk into an AMC, I find myself wondering: What happened to Hollywood? Sorry, but book adaptations, remakes, substance-empty chick flicks, recycled Michael Bay-splosions and five “Bring It On” sequels do not count as innovation. Is a well-developed storyline, visually stunning cinematography, witty script, multidimensional characters, actors who are right for the roles (not simply hired for their entertainment value) and an overall message that really makes us think too much to ask? ▶ PAGE 14
E RIK J EPSEN /G UARDIAN
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THE UCSD GUARDIAN13
E RIK J EPSEN /G UARDIAN
got sort of tied up at work today. The server crashed, Lights and Sirens was spammed and the Web poll peaced out because it wasnâ€™t getting enough love. For the full story, check the Web exclusive at www.ucsdguardian.org. J OHN H ANACEK /G UARDIAN
."336+0 â–ś FROM PAGE 10 years of college. One winterâ€™s day in 2009, they noticed my sloppy copyreader application, jerked me into the nearest swivel chair, handed me some new-hire paperwork and stamped a big, invisible â€œGâ€? on my forehead. I was in. I had no idea how to assimilate. It took a full weeks to realize that â€œcopyâ€? meant me. Iâ€™d miss a million AP mistakes. One of my first news grabs ended up in a blubbering phone call to thennews editor Reza because my contact wasnâ€™t calling me back. (Bitch.) That low-key anxiety attack suddenly made me a part of the Guardian in-crowd. After initiation, I came to understand the people behind the titles: Simone, you are the most empowering woman, keeping us in check but still embodying the edginess of Ke$ha 24/7. Trevor, my favorite, how can you write poetry, place articles, eat sandwiches and play deejay on YouTube simultaneously? My section, Iâ€™m so proud of you guys for breaking out of copyâ€™s stereotypical wallflower persona, what with Monicaâ€™s requests to chain up
the dog and Mashaâ€™s passive-aggressive post-its telling everyone to lay off our computersâ€™ balls. Original sports editor Jake and his successor, Vishal: You both have a Disney prince-like charm that always makes me mosey (extra slowly) past the sports office. Alyssa, you are truly superwoman, showing the world that we UCSD kids can work hard and party hard, no sweat. Edwin, youâ€™re the master of dance, sloshball and sex jokes â€” how can I be cool like you? Hayley and Angela, Iâ€™m always amazed at your politeness, apologizing whenever you ask me to copy read something (aka do my job). Reza, you better believe I will be spicing up your Facebook once a week now that I canâ€™t bombard you with cheer in person anymore â€” and last but never least, Cheryl, you could make a Guardian gossip zine with your endless knowledge. I know itâ€™s creepy, but I want to keep you in my pocket forever. In a nutshell, Iâ€™ve been in love with the Guardian for a year. So much that I slept with bugs, peed in a bush, ate a barely cooked hot dog, listened to scary stories about Toys R Us and got bitched out by Sue the park ranger for blasting Julie Andrews last weekend â€” yet somehow, I would do it all over in a second.
taying in San Diego wasnâ€™t the god-awful decision I imagined itâ€™d be. In my defense, Iâ€™d already spent 18 years here before everyone else showed up. And during that time, Iâ€™d firmly decided I didnâ€™t like the ocean, Shamu nor shortsleeved shirts. Donâ€™t get me wrong â€” not everythingâ€™s changed. I still donâ€™t care for the ocean, or Shamu. But Iâ€™ve come to terms with San Diego; if only because the last four years have been worth all the salt water in the world. Like other exhausted interests, journalism was something I picked up on a half-whim. Film came before it. Matter of fact, film was the reason I started writing for the Guardian in the first place. It took three applications (ahem, Simone), but because of it, I spent the next three years of my life swallowing NoDoz three times a week. Needless to say, it was the best decision I ever made in college.
However, Iâ€™d be lying if I said that the Guardian was the only thing that made these last four years so amazing. I have others to thank too. To Mom and Dad: Thank you for your continued love, support, Triton Cash and text messages that I know take five minutes to type. I love you so much. Adriana: I still read the letter you typed on my (then-new) laptop from time to time â€” the one in electric green. And yes, I remember pretending to be beached mermaids lost at shore. Next yearâ€™s going to be amazing. Trust me. To Rah: I know Iâ€™ve told you this before, but thereâ€™s no one I admire more. I canâ€™t wait to visit the obelisk again. To Carmina and Yedid: Thanks for letting me be your little brother, and for convincing me my Spanish wasnâ€™t as terrible as it was. And now, for Guardian folks. To Ke$ â€” sorry, Simone: How someone could be so silly, sexy and damn good
at turning out headlines amazes me. Iâ€™m honored to end my tenure with you at the helm. Alyssa and Reza: The managing office was by far my favorite, and not because of the beer closet in the corner. Sakeâ€™s on me this Friday, but only the first cup. To News, the girls who stroked every ligament of my musical ego: Much love, and many nights filled with the best of the â€™80s. Hiatus: My alma mater and the greatest section to write for â€” hands down. Thanks for putting up with my leftovers, and the eight weeks that they rotted there for. And Sports: May your lives be a never-ending series of Jamaican Horn moments. Emily: Words canâ€™t describe the magic you conjured up, every Sunday, to turn Focus into art. And to Aprille, Neda and Zoe: You were three of the most talented associates I had the fortune of working with. The pleasure was all mine.
Itâ€™s your world, weâ€™re just baking in it.
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14THE UCSD GUARDIAN
THURSDAY, JUNE 3, 2010
▶ FROM PAGE 10 back. You’re needed. This year’s seniors are probably a little more aware of how much I love them. Alyssa: We’re the same person (only you, like, get shit done), and I can’t imagine life without you. It’s going to be weird. Reza: I forgive you for dropping me, and for going to DC. Most of all I’m just stoked you’re not going back. Kelsey: How does one become as nice as you? It boggles my mind. Emily: You surpassed me so long ago — I’m in awe. Vishal: You’re the life of this party. Thanks for transferring. Edwin: Am I cool enough to be your friend yet? Please? Shida: I adore watching you sleep, but I wish we were dancing instead. Sari: Here’s to our cardboard box in Santa Monica. Let’s never be apart again, OK? Wes: Oh wait — you’re not a senior. Love you anyway. Lastly, I offer my apologies to all those whose dreams I may have deferred this year with a half-raised eyebrow and a stupid red pen. The best leaders foster talent by instilling confidence — I never quite got the hang of that. To the A.S. councilmembers, the co-ops and whoever else we might have offended by misspelling your name or misunderstanding your cause: We know you’re just students too. But everyone needs a watchdog to keep them on their toes. Truce?
▶ FROM PAGE 12 amazing things happened to fit into one measly column, but shout-outs need to go first and foremost to the 2010 Guardian sloshball champions. We showed heart, determination, unbelievable beer-drinking skills and an unmatched intellect to put those asshole Koalas in their place. Few things will ever feel so good as seeing Kris Gregorian go down like a sack of moldy potatoes. The people who made my Guardian tenure unforgettable — specifically, my time as sports editor — include the following sexy beasts: Emily for being the greatest (and most patient) design editor on the planet; Janani and Matt for mobbing it as my associate editors and for keeping me sane; and Erik for helping keep the sports office the chillest of them all by always cracking (bad) jokes and watching sports 24/7. Besides being great editors and leaders, Simone, Reza and Alyssa are all still some of the coolest people I met at UCSD, which made working for them so much better. And Vishal, I can never thank you enough for letting me pass the torch to you; the section has never looked better. So after four years of “Blanc on Base,” I guess it’s time for me to round third and head home. P.S. Fuck the Dodgers, GO GIANTS.
We are so proud of you ~ who circumnavigated the world, excelled in academics, now graduates UCSD Muir in the top of her game! Love You! Mylime Tave! From Mom & Dad & The Mazeika Clan!
▶ FROM PAGE 12 associate sports editor. This year, I wanted to play a larger part with the paper. I expected that Sundays and Wednesdays would turn into long days and more responsibility. What I didn’t expect was that the relationships I’ve built would define my senior year. From hazy nights in Vegas to an epic sloshball win, it truly has been an, uh, somewhat memorable year. On the more professional side, we have debated extensively over the meaning of athleticism, and you continued to grind away sports lingo to increase the accessibility of articles to the general public. Out of these arguments, I hope that you have come to learn more about sports than you ever wished you had — I know that I, for one, have come to appreciate the literal meanings of words far more than I care. We sports snobs often times get caught up in stylistic meaning without concern for comprehension. I hope future Guardian staffers and editors can build the same (sometimes adversarial) collegiality that we developed over the year. My only regret with the Guardian is not joining sooner. I’ll take solace in knowing that I made the most of this year. To the drinks we’ve shared and the good times we’ve had, this toast is over. Let’s chug some beer.
With great joy and pride, we celebrate your graduation and wish you every success in the years ahead.
Love always, Mom, Dad, Andrea, Grandpa & Grandma Cynthia, Pat, Shelia & Rick
You did it!
Now Take on the World!
Congratulations and Love!
We Love you, Mom and Dad
Mom, Dad, & Hadley
Congratulations on your Graduation
Tyler We could not be more proud
on your graduation from UCSD.
We are so very proud of you and are excited for and with you today... and everyday!
Love, Abba and Gail
▶ FROM PAGE 12 At the theater, no matter how open-minded I try to be, I always end up rolling my eyes at an awkward Michael Cera, Kristen Stewart twirling her greasy strands or the Coen brothers basking in their own cleverness. After four years of reviewing film — 95 percent of which was uninspired — you’d think I’d have lost all faith in the industry. But amid the underproduced fodder that gets churned out at the box office each week, there’s always a glimmer of hope. Though few and far between, great films do get produced, and I — along with all other tortured buff — will hold on with every last ounce of faith until the next one arrives. On that silver lining, I’ll end with shout-outs. Simone: Thanks for taking a chance on a nobody whose application was a shoddy “Lion King” theater review. It may have taken a year of rewrites before I wrote anything worth publishing, but my debut 50-word blurb on “The Holiday” still hangs from my refrigerator. Dad and Mom: I don’t hate every film in the universe; I just have high standards. Yes — “Snakes on a Plane” really is one of the worst movies of all time. It didn’t really take me 20 minutes to go get popcorn. Oh, and Nicolas Cage: Get a day job.
Love, Mom and Dad
THE UCSD GUARDIAN 15
THURSDAY, JUNE 3, 2010
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16THE UCSD GUARDIAN
THURSDAY, JUNE 3, 2010
KING OF THE BEACH BUMS CHURNS OUT MORE OF THE SAME
5 10 Jack Johnson
KNIGHT AND DAY
To The Sea BRUSHFIRE RECORDS
ack Johnsonâ€™s fifth studio album, To The Sea, is just as uninspired as its title suggests. While the 13 songs donâ€™t stray far from Johnsonâ€™s typical style â€” laid-back jams ripe with acoustic strumming, lightweight drums and carefree beach-day vocals â€” the tracks blur together until the albumâ€™s reduced to a neverending bonfire sing-along. Working out of his solar-powered studios in
fter the success of his â€œMission: Impossibleâ€? action thrillers, it seems as if Tom Cruise is finally taking a turn at self-parody. His new film, â€œKnight and Day,â€? has him indulging in slapstick shootouts and absurd one-liners, with the likes of, â€œNo one follows us, or I kill myself and then her.â€? Cameron Diaz comes through with the
sex appeal, playing the distressed, unsuspecting civilian to Cruiseâ€™s wisecracking secret agent. The formula may be overused, but the star power of Diaz and Cruise all but ensure a financial windfall for this June release â€” though critical acclaim for this lightweight film is anything but a guarantee. â€” Imran Manji Staff Writer
Hawaii and Los Angeles, Johnson has nailed the chill, environmentally-friendly, beach-bro image to perfection â€” but itâ€™s hard to take the perpetually stoned surfer facade seriously when the guyâ€™s released four albums and fathered two children. The lyrics continue in the same vein. Instead of providing genuine, meaning weâ€™re lost in a swarm of confusing metaphors. â€œRed Wine, Mistakes, Mythologyâ€? sounds like the product of one too many glasses of Merlot, as it finds Johnson stringing together muddled phrases like â€œlittle crying robots.â€? Johnson attempts to supplement his usual simplistic acoustic guitar sound by sporadically adding flowing keyboard, reverbheavy electric guitar and a healthy dose of tambourine throughout the album.
THE TWILIGHT SAGA: ECLIPSE
CANâ€™T BE TAMED JUNE 18
s a respite from the summer heat and slews of action films, director David Sladeâ€™s â€œThe Twilight Saga: Eclipseâ€? will take you back to the somber forest of Forks, Washington for the third installment of the box office smash series. Picking up after 2009â€™s cliffhanger â€” where Edward proposed to Bella and the vampires and werewolves forged an unholy alliance â€” â€œEclipseâ€? is the stuff that shrieking fangirls and million-dollar movies are made of. With the same cast of perfectly-sculpted, vapid characters, fans shouldnâ€™t expect a huge improvement. All the bland â€œTwilightâ€? staples are sure to cameo: Kristen Stewart will moodily tousle her hair, Taylor Lautnerâ€™s whine is sure to recall his prepubescent â€œCheaper by the Dozen 2â€? performance and Robert Pattinson will groan this way through all 90 minutes with a hazy, angst-fueled deadpan. But why bother with warnings? Crippling shame or no, youâ€™re still going to be dropping $10.50 at the midnight premiere decked out in fangs and a Team Edward tank thatâ€™s as sparkly as he is. â€” Amanda Martinek Staff Writer
hough her debut album was only a few years ago, Miley Cyrus is preparing for a precarious leap across the teen-adult divide. With the June 18 release of Canâ€™t Be Tamed, Cyrus ditches her all-American digs for a she-woman roar. The titular track features the divaâ€™s signature Tennessee croon, set to a heavy techno-dance synth borrowed from last yearâ€™s â€œParty in the U.S.A.â€? The new track, however, noticeably abandons the latterâ€™s bubblegum sound for more mature club tracks â€” a sonic shift that one can assume continues throughout the album. Phasing out the sickly-sweet singles that dominated her
But this attempt at variety only steers Johnson further off course â€” the intro on the title track sounds like a Shins ripoff, while â€œNo Good With Facesâ€? is a drugged-out Brandon Flowers impersonation. The album does have its moments, particularly with â€œWhen I Look Up,â€? a minute-long collection of running water noises, xylophone plunking and a chorus of background singers. Too bad the albumâ€™s best song is its shortest. Johnsonâ€™s fifth attempt isnâ€™t all bad. In fact, itâ€™s pleasant in all the same way smoking a bowl is. But as charming as that might be, To The Sea still feels as though we are trapped on a boat in the middle of the ocean â€” water everywhere gets a little redundant. â€” Amanda Martinek Staff Writer
previous album, Canâ€™t Be Tamed trades in lyrics about butterfly-inducing first dates for lyrics about abusive relationships. The change is expected for the teen, who has gradually followed the familiar â€œIâ€™m a grownup now!â€? path that Britney and Christina slithered down years before. While the darker, sexual lyrics about how all the guys want her are sure to set fans of Cyrusâ€™ good-girl image on edge, perhaps itâ€™s for the better â€” Considering her almost robotic penchant for foot-in-mouth syndrome (she managed to shit about Thom Yorke, Jay-Z and her own single), Cyrus hasnâ€™t always had her Disney persona on lock. If a Poison cover and a scantily clad music video isnâ€™t enough to convince you that the former Hannah Montana star is ready for the grind, then her new badass black duds will â€” 1992 birth date be damned. â€” Neda Salamat
DONâ€™T LET A HOT DATE TURN INTO A DUE DATE
senior staff writer
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THURSDAY, JUNE 3, 2010
THE UCSD GUARDIAN17
DINNER FOR SCHMUCKS JULY 23
f your Spring Quarter grades have got you down this summer, â€œMeet the Parentsâ€? director Jay Roach has got just the schadenfreuden remedy for your intellectual insecurities: Dinner for Schmucks, a movie about laughing at dumb people. Tim (played by â€œKnocked Upâ€? alumnus Paul Rudd) is an ambitious suit looking to climb the corporate ladder. Just when he thinks heâ€™s at the verge of a promotion, heâ€™s given one more obstacle: He must find an idiot and bring him to his bossâ€™ Dinner for Extraordinary People â€” an event where asshole businessmen show off their pedigree idiots for a grand prize promotion. As it just so happens, Tim meets Barry (Steve Carell), a wide-eyed dim-
GET HIM TO THE GREEK STARRING RUSSELL BRAND, JONAH HILL & SEAN â€œP. DIDDYâ€? COMBS DIRECTED BY NICHOLAS STOLLER RATED R 1:09
SEX, DRUGS AND RUSSELL BRAND
et him to the Greekâ€? is the spinoff of â€œForgetting Sarah Marshallâ€? weâ€™ve been clamouring for since Aldous Snow (Russell Brand) first got into that bitchy blondeâ€™spants in 2008. Now in his very own feature-length follow-up, â€œGreek,â€? Snow has fallen off the sobriety wagon entirely â€” prompting the rock legend to partake in a string of motel-trashing ragers, absinthe binges and celebrity debauchery. The grandeur doesnâ€™t last long. Following the release of a racist ditty, Snow is quickly crushed under the pile of tabloid outrage that descends upon him. His career seems to have finally reached its breaking point. Fortunately for Snow, optimistic record label intern Aaron Green (Jonah Hill) â€” the drooling fan boy in â€œSarah Marshallâ€? â€” suggests to his hard-ass boss Sergio (Sean â€œP. Diddyâ€? Combs) that Snow stage his
comeback at the Greek Theater in Los Angeles. â€œGreekâ€? follows the resulting mayhem as a frantic Green tries to get Snow from London to L.A. in time for the big show. Thereâ€™s no doubt that the cast is bizarre â€” but the mix works surprisingly well for the film. The film mocks Brandâ€™s very public past of sex and drug addiction, utilizing his characterâ€™s outrageous persona to satirize a society fixated on fame and mocks his. He delivers side-splitters with ease, and his performance is a delusional and drug-addled one, stumbling through the streets of Las Vegas in search of a fix â€” itâ€™s a sequence so organic it seems that heâ€™s done it before. Not to be outdone, Diddy surprises us in his first comedic role as an intimidating boss. He wrenches laughter from an unsuspecting audience with
one-liner gems like â€œIâ€™m mind-fucking the shit out of you right nowâ€? capping off the filmâ€™s brilliant comedic timing. By contrast, Hill â€” a comparative expert in the role of the funnyman â€” disappoints as Diddyâ€™s lapdog. The â€œSuperbadâ€? veteran is sidelined in â€œGreekâ€? as a naĂŻve newcomer who attempts to capture audience sympathies, but fails to please with his overeager demeanor. Nonetheless, â€œGreekâ€? possesses a coveted ability to transport the audience into the helter-skelter mayhem of celebrity life, all while inducing laughter. The well-crafted comedic backbone of this summer flick is sure to make â€œGreekâ€? the 2010 equivalent of â€œThe Hangoverâ€?â€” brimming with swearing, confusion and a fuckload of alcohol. â€” Amanda Martinek Staff Writer
wit with a thing for dressing up dead mice. Much to the dismay of his empathetic girlfriend, Tim invites Barry to the dinner. Though it seems for a moment that the duoâ€™s unlikely friendship might hinder Tim from bringing Barry to the freak show, the two go anyway. Itâ€™s a simple story, and, if little else, itâ€™s sure to be packed with Carellâ€™s signature shtick â€” scene after scene of cringe-worthy discomfort. Once â€œSchmucksâ€? hits theatres July 13, one thingâ€™s sure: No other slacker summer activity will make you feel smarter. â€” Alyssa Bereznak
senior staff writer
RECOVERY JUNE 22
n the heels of last yearâ€™s Relapse is this yearâ€™s Recovery: Eminemâ€™s new concept album and sonic 180. Heâ€™s continuing on the path to maturity and sobriety, and, given that he spent a good part of 2005 through 2008 binging on pills and booze, this release proves heâ€™s already undergone a vast improvement. If first single â€œNot Afraidâ€? is any indication, the albumâ€™s sure to feature triumphant, orchestral arrangements, backed by pulsating beats, heavy bass and Shadyâ€™s vicious wit. Unlike previous albums, Recovery is the rapperâ€™s first album without a single appearance from Dre. Instead, Eminemâ€™s latest will feature pop princesses like Pink and Rihanna â€” certainly a departure from what we know of the often misogynistic Mathers (after all, it was only 10 years ago when he was taking shots at Christina Aguilera on â€œThe Real Slim Shadyâ€?). Since then Eminemâ€™s been on quite the rollercoaster, alternating between musical genius and personal crash-and burns â€” perhaps now he has finally beaten his demons. â€” Bryan Kim Staff Writer
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18THE UCSD GUARDIAN
THURSDAY, JUNE 3, 2010
VISHAL NATARAJAN SPORTS EDITOR
consider myself to be an adaptable, “go-withthe-flow” kind of person. I’ve experienced enough change in my life to know that it’s a fact of life that ought to be embraced, not resisted. Now, perched on the precipice of graduation, if only I could just conjure that wisdom, because right now, I feel a little empty. I can’t fight a creeping vulnerability as I face up to the unnerving realization I have been trying to ignore for quite sometime now: college is over. Truth is, if someone asked me at the school year’s start if I was ready to graduate, my answer would have been “hell yes.” I had never forged the “home away from home, best years of my life” collegiate experience that so many rave about. My first two years at UC Riverside, I felt oppressed by the lack of commonalities between (at least what I thought was) a shallow-minded, intellectually uninspired student body and myself. I had a handful of good friends and few collegedefining experiences I appreciated. I felt a sense of loss that I had missed out on “the good times.”. When I transferred to UCSD, the cynicism that my time at Rivershit had cultivated persevered, and fit in seamlessly with the hordes of zombie students. But my senior year was an awakening of sorts, and it’s no coincidence my collegiate life finally became fulfilling when I joined the Guardian staff. You guys have enriched my life. To the Guardian staff, word count constraints prevent me from writing to each of you individu-
E ERIK JEPSEN/GUARDIAN
ally, because if I did, you all would have pagelong essays. But if I have worked with you in the office on a regular basis, then know this: The time we have spent together this year has made this past year the best of my life to date (sorry, can’t help it). You bunch of quirky, funny, unique, endearing group of intelligent people are the kind I always thought college was supposed to intro-
duce to me. The memories of our times together will be ingrained on my heart as long as it beats, as they’ve transformed my experience in college from one of indifference to one I don’t want to see end. Thank you for touching my life, and I’m humbled to have had this opportunity. I had way more in this, but it wouldn’t be authentic if I didn’t have to edit my work down.
PHILIP RHIE ART EDITOR
dmittedly, my stint at the Guardian was sort of impersonal, as I spent less time forming relationships and more time making my comics and illustrations look as badass as possible. That’s not to say that I don’t have my fair share of appreciation for the Guardian. It gave me a sense of purpose and direction when I lacked it most, and despite my emotional detachment from the paper, I’m forever grateful for the Guardian’s effect on my life and the relationships that I’ve formed there. I’d like to thank Chris Kokiousis for giving mee my start. Without his encouragement, his love of video games and his creation of my column, I would never have seen the Guardian as a legit creative venue. Thanks, Christina Aushana, for hiring me as an illustrator and giving me a chance to unload my emotional woes on our undergraduate population. Had she not suggested that I draw a comic,
Sunny-Side Up would never have been birthed. Consequently, I’d like to thank Simone and anyone else involved in my hiring as Art Editor for giving me the liberty to extend my mopey story throughout the rest the year. Without that option, I don’t think I would have ever written my own comic novel. com I’d like to thank Reza for his vision Re and preference for an my particular artistic style. Had st he not continually approached me with new ideas, I would never have swung by the office as much as I did. I’d also like to thank him for our collaborative efforts, which I find to have been one of the most fulfilling opportunities the
Guardian has allowed me (next to Sunny-Side Up). But mostly, he’s someone I could talk to when I was emo-ing out. Thanks, man. I’d like to thank Emily for her peppy personality, juxtaposed against a usually irritated demeanor. I always found this to be a splendid surprise. I’d like to thank Erik for his sense of humor — which, against Emily’s personality, was the best comic relief in the office. I’d also like to thank Vishal Natarajan, whose heart-to-hearts in and out of the office always kept me grounded in the here and now. Incidentally, I’d also like to thank his drunken alter-ego for embodying all the ’70s Jack Nicholson sleaze that I didn’t know actually existed. I’d like to thank News, Opinion, Focus and Hiatus for dealing with
my tardiness. Having never been the most punctual artist, I appreciate that they dealt with me ’til the very end. The same to the managing editors. I’d also like to thank the art team for taking me seriously. I never thought myself the most competent individual, and their etiquette toward my rank was humbling. Finally, I’d like to thank the Guardian for setting me up with Kim Cyprian, the new art editor and fellow artist extraordinaire, whose existence has created an altogether new fear of life and death that I never once fathomed in my overabundant imagination. Never has life seemed so vast and adventurous until now. Thanks. Never having been very good at goodbyes, I’ll just say: Thanks, Guardian. I’ll see you around.
ERIK JEPSEN PHOTO EDITOR
hotography has always been a conundrum for me: I believe it is more important to live the moment than to necessarily capture the moment; I would far rather be in front of a lens than behind one; I do not like the constant pressure of getting the perfect shot, but the perfect shot is what I always want; and although I live with the camera, you will not likely see me with my camera, unless I am on an assignment. Yet despite everything, I love capturing the emotion and human spirit of every event or place I have been. I want to thank the Guardian for the honor and privilege of serving the students and faculty at UCSD for the past four years. The work has been personally rewarding, and I can deny the occasional pleasure in the recognition of fellow students for the work I so love. A big “thank you” is extended to every editor who has ever worked in the sports section (Danai, Rael, Janani, Jake, Matt, Vishal and Liam). You’ve all made our time together at the Guardian hilariously entertaining and enjoyable. Emily, thank you for working with my pictures when I could not capture your intent; your designs were always awesome! To John: You are the man, good luck next year. I am certain you’ll make the paper look good. To everyone else, it’s been a pleasure working with you; I love you all. So this is Erik closing the lens cover one last time for the Guardian. Have an awesome, grand, fantastic, great, stellar … grand day! Oh yeah, and “Lionhearts” are the best thing to happen to photography since … ever. And in regard to photography, I am certain the Guardian sets the standard for other California college newspapers. We have set a high bar of accomplishment that I am sure future staff will carry forward.
n true Guardian fashion, I’m writing this following a 5 a.m. production — after which I headed home not to sleep, but to prepare for a discussion I had to teach at 8 a.m. I’ve got InDesign open because I still have to design Sports, Photoshop open because I’m trying to plan the image that’s supposed to go with it, and the last five text messages I’ve received (and the last seven I’ve sent) have been Guardian-related. How do you just walk away from something so all-encompassing? How do you reconcile what has been your entire life with the mystery that is to come? The other day, Neda and Liam were arguing over whose section I was more loyal to, Focus or Sports. (I wasn’t sure if it was the right time to point out that the debate was moot, because neither of them will be getting me next year.) Richard only gave Focus to me because no one else wanted it, but Alyssa had my back from the beginning, taking unfortunate creative liberties with Michael Capparelli’s artwork. I wouldn’t have wanted anyone else with me every step
of the way. Dave humored me when I had my epiphany last winter (or psychotic break, however you want to look at it), until he realized I was dead serious — and so “The Memory Remains” went to print. Edwin kept right in step with me this entire year, always dependable, always positive, and never saying a word when he was stuck in the office at 3 a.m. because I’d thrown out three different designs. Once the dust from Focus reconstruction settled, Sports was next. Janani, the only person I would ever share an office and “Lost” with, and Jake, Vishal, Matt and Liam: It’s your enthusiasm and pride that inspires my love for designing your section. No section is more fun to work with. Can we say the rest is Guardian history? I sometimes think about how terrible my timing is, becoming so attached to print media when it’s on its way out. But I’m only lucky to have found this part of my stressball self when I did, uncovered by a hodgepodge of scrappy journalists you can’t find anywhere else. With design, it was Simone who was my
best critic, and Reza my best friend. Simone, you can weather any storm. Design never fails because of you; I don’t know how you do it all. Reza, I can’t think of the word “collab” without thinking of you, and no one can seem to call me Em Dash quite the same way. I’ll be looking for that telltale resilient bird when you become famous. Angela and Hayley, all I know is that you guys are going to do the Guardian proud. Melody, I have the utmost faith in you. Remember that you are only at your beginning, looking back on my ending. Just a heads-up: you’re going to be everyone’s favorite person. I couldn’t have asked for a more promising successor. And Erik: No words can really say. As Dave said, the war is almost over. But I wouldn’t have traded the ride for anything. A designer’s work is always seen but never known. It’s always a journey, but it’s always worth it. To everyone, thank you. I don’t know how else to say it. I would end with an em dash — but I wouldn’t be able to qualify it with anything more amazing than the people who make that me.
THURSDAY, JUNE 3, 2010
THE UCSD GUARDIAN 19
FROM PAGE 16
BEST of TRITON ATHLETICS, CONTD.
BEST BREAKTHROUGH ATHLETE T&F
BEST COACH OR MANAGER
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AS A SPORT THAT IS NOT
sanctioned in high school athletics, the javelin is usually dominated by upperclassmen. Howe shattered this mold a year ago when he burst on the scene as a freshman to win the CCAA title and earn CCAA Freshman of the Year honors. But it was during his sophomore season that Howe developed into a top athlete, progressing at a rate that exceeded everyone’s expectations — in less than one year, he furthered his best throw by close to 25 feet. On May 29, Howe took home a national title, throwing 225 feet at the championship meet in Charlotte, N.C., to become UCSD’s first male track and field champion at the Division-II level.
Erik Elliott (Men’s Tennis) Kyle Saul (Baseball) Tiffany Hunter (Women’s Basketball) Kristen Armstrong (Women’s Soccer) Jessica Wi (Women’s Soccer)
O’BRIEN HAS HEADED THE
Triton baseball program for 13 years, transforming the team from a middle-of-theroad Division-III squad to a Division-II powerhouse that expects to be among the nation’s best. It culminated in this year’s remarkable season, where the Tritons came within two runs of a national championship. O’Brien coaxed 54 wins out of his team while accumulating only eight losses — both records for the program. His team’s performance earned him a second consecutive CCAA Coach of the Year Award, which only cemented his place as the top baseball coach in school history.
Denny Harper (Men’s Water Polo) Charity Elliott (Women’s Basketball)
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With another year in the books, the Guardian recognizes the
BEST MALE ATHLETE BSB
BEST OF TRITON
WHATEVER THE SECRET TO
hitting may be, Gregorich certainly found it this year. With new school records in hits, doubles and RBIs in a season, the senior first baseman undoubtedly had one of the best seasons in UCSD baseball history all while hitting a ridiculously high .455 average. His awards are too numerous to list in full: CCAA Player of the Year, Daktronics West Region Player of the Year and ABCA/Rawlings All-American are only some of the highlights of his trophy case. Gregorich’s success at the plate helped drive the Tritons all the way to the Division-II championship game, where they narrowly lost to Southern Indiana University. Nonetheless, Gregorich’s performance this season will go down in the Tritons’ history books as one of the best UCSD has ever seen.
Vance Albitz (Baseball) Dan Perdew (Swimming) Steven Donohoe (Men’s Water Polo) Jordan Lawley (Men’s Basketball)
from anywhere when her team most needed it, Carlisle set herself apart as the Tritons’ leader on the floor. The sophomore guard guided the Tritons to a 25-5 season and a second consecutive CCAA title, picking up the CCAA Most Valuable Player Award along the way. Carlisle averaged a team-high 17.4 points per game, and also led the Tritons in assists and steals. Her efforts led to her being named as a first team All-American — the only underclassman named to the squad — as well as the Daktronics West Region Player of the Year. Carlisle surely has many more stellar games left in her career, but her consistent performance this season was second-to-none.
BEST FEMALE ATHLETE
WITH HER ABILITY TO SCORE
BEST GRADUATING SENIOR SWIM
THURSDAY, JUNE 3, 2010 20
Christine Merrill (Track and Field) Lisa Bradley (Women’s Soccer) Alex Henley (Swimming) Sylvia Schmidt (Women’s Volleyball)
BEST CHAMPIONSHIP PERFORMANCE BSB
AGAINST CENTRAL MISSOURI UNIVERSITY AT THE COLLEGE WORLD SERIES
OUTSTANDING TEAM BASEBALL
DURING THE SECOND GAME OF
FOR ALL PERDEW’S ACHIEVEMENTS
in the pool, his collection of national championships do the most to say he’s one of the best athletes to ever represent UCSD. He won his first titles as a sophomore in the 50 fly and 100 free, setting school records in both events. He became champion in the 100 free for three straight years, and his winning 100-yard freestyle time of 43.30 seconds in 2009 still stands as an NCAA Division-II record. It doesn’t end there — he has been featured in Sports Illustrated magazine’s “Faces in the Crowd” segment, met the qualifying standards for U.S. Olympic Trials and finished his career holding school records in four separate events. With five national titles in his career, Perdew graduates from UCSD as one of the top sprinters in all of Division-II swimming.
Vance Albitz (Baseball) Steven Donohoe (Men’s Water Polo) Linda Rainwater (Track and Field) Christine Merrill (Track and Field)
UCSD BASEBALL MAY HAVE COME JUST SHORT OF A
national title, but its season was far from a disappointment. In fact, it was the most successful run to date, and it’s hard to argue that this team was anything but one of the nation’s best: 54 wins, only eight losses and just two runs short of a national title. The Tritons never dropped below fourth in the national rankings and were the topranked team for the final month of the season. UCSD also raked in the individual accolades, with a phenomenal six players named to the All-American team. Senior Vance Albitz won third Gold Glove and repeated as National Defensive Player of the Year, and senior Brandon Gregorich took CCAA Player of the Year honors. The list goes on, but the message is clear: Baseball was UCSD’s best team this year.
the Division-II College World Series in Cary, N.C., Rossman got the starting nod and did not disappoint. Rossman kept a no-hitter through the eighth inning, but allowed two straight doubles that let Mules tie the game 1-1. The game moved on to extra innings, but the Triton bullpen stayed empty, and Rossman settled down to continue his pitching dominance. Rossman did not allow a single hit for the rest of the game, which finally ended thanks to an RBI single from Kellen Lee. The senior righty finished the day with an 11-inning complete game, allowing only two hits and striking out 12 batters. A complete game is hard enough, but for a pitcher to pitch 11 dominant innings is unheard of. In his last start as a Triton, Rossman’s outing against Central Missouri set the standard for playoff performances.
Nick Howe at D-II Nationals (Track and Field) Annette Ilg against Humboldt State in the NCAA Tournament (Women’s Basketball)
Men’s Water Polo, Women’s Water Polo
BEST GAME WSOC
UCSD 2, CHICO STATE 1 AT NCAA D-II TOURNAMENT
IN THE SECOND ROUND OF THE NCAA DIVISION-II TOURNAMENT on Nov. 14, UCSD hosted Chico State in a battle of conference foes. The Tritons were making their seventh appearance in the second round, while it was the Wildcats first — yet Chico had beaten UCSD 2-0 when the two first met on 2009 on Sep. 20. The Wildcats came out strong and struck first in the 23rd minute, but the Tritons didn’t wait long to equalize. Less than 60 seconds later, sophomore striker Sarah McTigue hit a blistering shot from the top of the box into the top-left corner of the goal, and the game was tied at 1-1. The deadlock was finally broken in the 86th minute, when McTigue gathered a loose ball on the edge of the box and fired in a hard shot. The ball slipped past the goalkeeper, and the Tritons survived a frantic last few minutes for the 2-1 win. The dramatic goal provided for UCSD’s most entertaining game this year and sent the Tritons into the third round of the tournament.
UCSD 2, Central Missouri University 1 (Baseball) UCSD 71, Cal Poly Pomona 69 (Women’s Basketball) UCSD 91, San Francisco State 86 (Men’s Basketball) UCSD 4, Loyola Marymount 5 (Men’s Water Polo)
BEST MOMENT T&F
LINDA RAINWATER AT CCAA CHAMPIONSHIPS
DESPITE BEING RANKED AS THE TOP
women’s high-jumper in Division-II, Rainwater struggled to win her conference championship. She was only able to clear 5’5.25” — almost five inches below her personal best — and had to go to a jump-off to break a tie with her nearest competitor. Rainwater had been unable to shake a nagging back injury for several weeks, and by the end of the competition was in so much pain that she needed to be helped off the mat after each jump. It wasn’t discovered until later that Rainwater was actually competing with a fractured back. “If we knew at the time we would have pulled her,” head coach Tony Salerno said. “She said she had some pain but that she could still jump.” Rainwater managed to clear 5’7.25”, allowing her to take her second straight conference title. Rainwater’s tough performance demonstrates a tenacity that few athletes can claim to have.
Aaron Bauman’s walk-off single against Georgia College (Baseball) Men’s volleyball beats Pepperdine for the first time on senior night