the last. He was trying to figure out the swaddling technique, and while we did attempt to honestly answer his question, we quickly remembered the dynamic that had made us friends in the first place: a never-ending stream of bullshit and tasteless jokes. We also discovered that we could all have a drink (or three) together in virtual space without leaving the house, which as new fathers we were legally prevented from doing. I’m pretty sure it’s a law anyway; that’s what my wife told me. #babylaw
caring for a newborn means dealing with their poop, but I was really unprepared for how much of my average day would be consumed by—and how many of our physical possessions and home surface areas would come in contact with—solid human waste. Throw in a geriatric dog with a tenuous relationship to continence, and it often felt that my primary function on this earth was poop management.
Shelf Unbound: What is the most valuable piece of advice you’ve received from the other dads? Sidney: Don’t sweat the small stuff. Of course we all take parenting seriously, but if you make it about daily checklists or achievement markers from some outside source, you’ll live in a constant state of failure. In all likelihood you will succeed in keeping your baby alive. It’s hardwired into our DNA. So let the kid dictate the schedule, and everything else is gravy.
Shelf Unbound: Do you think all new fathers can relate to this book? Sidney: I do. First-time fathers will feel great relief that they’re not alone, and veteran breeders will look back on the early years with a good laugh about how they managed to get through it. Us being who we are, the book employs generous profanity and joking references to adult situations (we seem to have a particular interest in sleeping with each others’ wives), so it may not be for all tastes in that regard, but I can’t imagine there’s a dad who won’t see himself in some part of Daddy Drinks.
Shelf Unbound: What shocked you most about fatherhood? Sidney: The poop. I mean sure, intellectually I understood that
Shelf Unbound: A few of you are involved in theatre—any chance Daddy Drinks might become a play? Sidney: I don’t think it will become a
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