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Old Tom Foolery


Old Tom Foolery

Old Tom Old Tom Foolery

surprise , surprise ; ass-kisser sends thank you note e st. MMV I I —Vo l. 2

Old Tom Foolery

Old Tom Foolery

Printed in the U. S. of A. with soy-based ink. Make your mama proud: Recycle. © 2010 | oldtomfoolery.com | No. H-15

Old Tom Foolery


Old Tom

Thanksgiving Guest Discreetly Unbuttons Pants, Prepares To Stuff Self Silly e s t. M M VI I — Vo l . 2

Old Tom Old Tom Foolery

Grown Man ScreaMS Like LittLe GirL in Haunted HouSe e s t. M M VI I — Vo l . 2

Old Tom Foolery

Printed in the U. S. of A. Make your mama proud: Recycle. © 2014 | oldtomfoolery.com | No. TBD

Printed in the U. S. of A. Make your mama proud: Recycle. © 2014 | oldtomfoolery.com | No. TBD

Old Tom Foolery

Old Tom Foolery


Old Tom Foolery e s t. M M V I I — Vo l . 2

Old Tom

LocaL Jews Make annuaL christMas PiLgriMage to chinese restaurant

Printed in the U. S. of A. Make your mama proud: Recycle. © 2014 | oldtomfoolery.com | No. TBD

Printed in the U. S. of A. Make your mama proud: Recycle. © 2014 | oldtomfoolery.com | No. TBD

Old Tom Foolery

Old Tom Foolery est. MMVII —Vol. 2

Old Tom

Kids EvErywhErE PrEParE To Go aPEshiT on ChrisTmas morninG

e s t. M M V I I — Vo l . 2

Old Tom

Local Woman OD’s On Christmas Music 24-Hour Holiday Radio Station To Blame


HE KNOWS WHEN YOU’RE

SLEEPING? HE KNOWS WHEN YOU’RE

AWAKE? WHAT THE HELL, SANTA? MYOB.

Made in Minneapolis, U.S. A. © 2014

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oldtomfooler y.com

christmas cookies are like crack AND GRANDMA’S MY DEALER.

Made in Minneapolis, U.S.A. © 2014

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oldtomfooler y.com

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No. CC-TBD

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No. CC-TBD


LO U I E AW A R D W I N N E R!

it’s not butter. world, sucker. *Nor can I believe *Welcome to the real real piecemake of work. Better it whole grain. Lots of fiber. *W hich is good, because you used to be a * *Teach me the secrets of the universe, O Wise One.

| No. 0106 © 2008 | oldtomfoolery.com | No . 2800 © 2008 | oldtomfoolery.com

© 2008 | oldtomfoolery.com | No . 0108

© 2008 | oldtomfoolery.com | No . 0111

*Let me save you the suspense — there’s no money inside this card.

Happy !* .* toast !* Graduation The big 5-0

© 2008 | oldtomfoolery.com | No . 0114

© 2008 | oldtomfoolery.com | No. 0107

© 2008 | oldtomfoolery.com | No. 0700

.* your retirement !* !* B-Day.* Today’s your birthday !* over the hillHappy You’re . Enjoy Birthday Happy You graduated!Here’s * * to you on your birthday

while it lasts. Tomorrow you’re back to being a nobody. up or Iittalk. let’s get you under the inf luence. *Blackmail Day, that is. I know how old you really are. Pay*Enjoy *Now

you the suspense — there’s no money inside card. *Let me save been working your whole life for this.this Don’t blow it. *You’ve

© 2008 | oldtomfoolery.com | No. 0110

© 2008 | oldtomfoolery.com | No. 0112

*Excluding money or labor of any kind.

*Wait, what’s so “happy” about getting old? This is a sad, sad day. My condolences.

Happy Birthday, old-timer.*

*Whatever you do, don’t start stating your age in “years young.” People can see right through that.

I love you* .

*Statement only valid if you say you love me back.

You get better with age* .

*Which is good, because you used to be a real piece of work.

I’m forever indebted* .

How can I ever repay you?*

Happy Birthday!*

*In your case, a very depressing number.

© 2008 | oldtomfoolery.com | No. 0105

And to me for remembering it. *Quick, f lee the country before the school figures out its *mistake.

Age is only a number.*

© 2008 | oldtomfoolery.com | No . 0113

I can’t You believe !* get you’re better 40 with Aage birthday *.

It’s your birthday!*

*Lucky bastard.

*By forever, I just mean until you finish reading this card. Then we’re square.

© 2008 | oldtomfoolery.com | No . 0119

Happy Birthday.*

The big 5-0.*

*Teach me the secrets of the universe, O Wise One.


Mazel Tov.*

Happy Birthday!* Great

it naked for you. *If there were a giant cake here, I’d jump out *ofShow-off.

*That’s Hebrew for “hell yeah.” © 2008 | oldtomfoolery.com | No. 0604

© 2008 | oldtomfoolery.com | No . 0116

© 2008 | oldtomfoolery.com | No. 0118

© 2008 | oldtomfoolery.com | No. 0701

Mazel Tov.*

Happy Birthday!*

Congrats on your retirement* .

*This shithole just won’t be the same without you.

Happy Graduation!*

Age is only a number.*

*In your case, a very depressing number.

*Welcome to the real world, sucker.

© 2008 | oldtomfoolery.com | No. 0109

© 2008 | oldtomfoolery.com | No. 0701

© 2008 | oldtomfoolery.com | No. 0118

ve it’s not butter.

*Nor can I believe it’s not butter.

© 2008 | oldtomfoolery.com | No. 0109

*If there were a giant cake here, I’d jump out of it naked for you.

I can’t believe you’re 40!*

n’t believe you’re 40!*

*This shithole just won’t be the same without you.

© 2008 | oldtomfoolery.com | No . 2801

or “hell yeah.”

job.* Congrats on your retirement*.

Happy Graduation!*

Good Age is only a number .*

*In your case, a very depressing number.

*Welcome to the real world, sucker.

I miss you* .

luck* .

*It’s been so long, I’m starting to forget what you look like.

*You’re gonna need a crapload of it.

Sure hope you’re not ugly.

LO U I E AW A R D W I N N E R!

Thinking of you* .

*But not in a creepy stalker kind of way.


Will you be my valentine?*

*F Y I, I’m easy.

Happy Hanukkah* .

*Or is it Chanukah? Wait, I think it’s Hannukah. Screw it — just have a happy one.

Merry Christmas* .

*And with that, you probably won’t hear from me again until this time next year.


(new!) Inside: Blank EVERYDAY: 1013inc


F SO CK ES BA ELOPYS! V EN R DA FO


TROUBLED BIRDS

®


TROUBLED BIRDS ®


TROUBLED BIRDS

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Mincing Mockingbird, 2019 Catalog  
Mincing Mockingbird, 2019 Catalog  
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