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july 2012 / ` 100

special! »the dope on the

»

SEXIEST WOMAN IN THE WORLD...

Katrina (YET AGAIN)

paes-hesh spat 10 Indians gunning for olympic gold & The fastest man alive WHO IS ANONYMOUS AND WHY ARE THEY HACKING OUR SITES? (AND NO THEY AREN’T PAKIS!)

PLUS

the biggest video games ever

INDIa edition Vol 5 issue 08

slasher films • fireproof pen drives• Missing actors • smart TV’S


contents july 2012

p46 katrina kaif She is back on top...

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28

We bring you face to face with the notorious and elusive Internet hacking group – Anonymous who once intruded FBI’s servers, and are now attacking Indian websites with a vengeance.

When the Paralympics start next month in London, all eyes will be set on India’s first ever athlete to qualify for the sporting gala. The 20-year-old swimmer wouldn’t settle for any thing less than a gold.

say hi to our anonymous e-warriors

20

sharath gayakwad

31

bollywood faces who haven’t been 62 greatest games ever played by spotted for a humankind long time now

We so miss Mamta Kulkarni these days that she actually inspired us to do this story. P.S. Yet another story that we thought of in a bar. 4

July 2012

fhmindia • fhmindia

FHM documents the best video games ever developed, and not just the Playstation and Atari.

37

we’re back with this year’s list of 100 sexiest seductresses who made us drool

If you don’t flip to page no 112 right now, you are wasting your time.

96

the fastest man on the planet, usain bolt, is extremely slow

When the Jamaican first got out of his BMW M3 and walked up to us to shake hands, we were pretty amused by the slow pace at which he does things.

fhmindia.com


editor’s letter

LONDON DREAMS

CHAMPIO N OF THE TRACK

LONDON DREAMS

USAIN BOLT

Photograph y by Adam

Hinton Words

by Dan Jude

won India’s Abhinav Bindraand the total 2008: The year gold medal Olympics went first ever individual at the Beijing tally of medal up to 3.

TOUCH

Usain Bolt is the bigges t sports star hype, come on planet Earth. mid-August he’s going medals to And if we’re to have his name. FHM fhmindia • fhmindiato with the bigges flew to Kingst even more world record believe the t freak of nature athleti on, Jamaica for an exclus s and gold fhmindia.com cs has ever ive intervi ew seen.

90

July 2012

July 2012

91

96 fhmindia.com July 2012

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fhmindia • fhmindia fhmindia.com

July 2012

fhmindia.com

quantifying, we also caught up with the world’s fastest man – Usain Bolt for a World Exclusive (page 96). And when we say World Exclusive, we don’t mean it in the news channel rehashing news agencies copy kind of a way. We mean it in a jetting off to Jamaica and standing outside his house till he agreed to do this kind of a way. We’ve also thrown in interviews with six boxers, two swimmers, two badminton players and a wrestler who have jetted off to the home of the Queen for a shot at Olympic gold (page 90). It might also be important to note we’ve left out the squabbling tennis players. However, it does have something on Sania Mirza, but that’s because we haven’t still completely gone off her despite her wedding and all that, and refuse to let her off our 100 sexiest list. We’ve also thrown in an authoritative round-up of the 62 best videogames of the world (page 31). Everything from Pac-Man to Call of Duty is in there. There’s also a four-page guide to losing flab without doing anything (page 102) designed completely in the colour blue because the nut working on the article insists reading a magazine that has blue pages will make you eat less. Ever wondered why your telly comes with the 'Smart' sticker on the side? Here's the answer (page 114). And in case you were sitting around at a pub staring pointlessly wondering who and what ‘Anonymous’ is and why they are hacking Indian government websites, we have them too, so turn to page 14 for the answer. As for the asshole who started this whole ball rolling two years ago. He’s still here.

is brought to you by… FHM is called into meetings by Publisher & COO Vikas Johari CEO & Managing Director Prakash Johari CFO Kuldip Singh Executive Editor Kabeer Sharma

our wildest at any athletic meet, Not even in the of our medal tally India toppingring the recent performances in London, conside represent India’t return home with athletes set to wouldn time. bright that they chances are just a bronze or two this

OLYMPICS

6

9.58 seconds 100m world record

YMPIANS INDIANISOLBE TTING FHM Y ONEXPECTING MONE TES WHO WE ARE ATHLE FHM MET THE PODIUM FINISH FROM imagined A but dreams had we

INDIA @ when India was first by Anglo 1900: The year in Paris Olympics holidaying was represented Pritchard who bagged two Indian Norman that time. He in the city duringmedals in 200m. silver a team to the India first sent 1920: The year Olympics. the were won by gold medals 6 successive team from 1928-1956. hockey Indian by of medals won total number 20: That’s the the Olympics to date. India at

24 issues, two repeated celebrities, 3.67 million spelling mistakes and about two years before this issue, we undertook an almost impossible task – to overhaul a magazine you had grown so attached to. You wondered who this asshole was and what he was going to do to your favourite magazine. For two years you’ve supported us through thick and thin, when celebrities got cold feet after shoots, when we almost started a war, or during our monthly cyber-lynchings. You told us to keep going and we have. The issue you hold in your hands is proof enough of our conviction to stand up and be lynched for our work. ‘Katrina Kaif? 4 Times in 5 years? It must be fixed,’ the relatively polite detractors are going to say. To be honest – we’ve got two unhyphenated words for them – SOD OFF. You have voted and here she is. AGAIN. Will she regain the crown next year? Would Kareena Kapoor with her act in Heroine or Deepika Padukone with her neverending legs steal the crown in 2013? Will the world end this year? Who knows? Do I sound like Nostradamus (seriously, let me know if I do because I’m not supposed to). But till then we’ve got you the woman who makes you go weak in the knees, do somersaults and lust after her (all in the same breath) – ladies and gents, now presenting your Sexiest Woman in the World – the Salman Khan dating, item girl beyond compare, Yash Chopra’s quintessential heroine and altogether nice girl and FHM darling Katrina Kaif. And while we’re

10

CHAMPIO N OF THE TRACK

fhmindia • fhmindia July 2012

What we did this month…

97

Bought an apple orchard in the hills. No, really. Now if only we could also inherit some money from that rich uncle who refuses to conk off, so we could build our retirement cottage there. Tried really really hard to learn to appreciate soccer, eh, football and give a damn about the Euro 2012. Failed miserably. But did manage to watch the game-changer Germany vs Italy semi because a girl insisted she wanted to. Sulked through the entire first half. Cheered, thanks to lots of beers, in the second half.

FHM is taken on its travels by… International Director of Men’s Magazines Simon Greves (+44 20 7182 8074) International Head of Content Anouska Christy (+44 20 7182 8941) International Commercial Manager Graham Kirk (+44 20 7182 8941) International Content Manager Jennifer Batchelor (+44 20 7182 8056) International Content Coordinator Charlotte Smith (+44 20 7182 8069) International Content Executive Ellie Bond (+44 207 520 6561) Information: info@maxposure.in Subscriptions: subscribe@maxposure.in Submissions: fhm@maxposure.in Advertising: sales@maxposure.in Accounts: accounts@maxposure.in Careers: hr@maxposure.in MaXposure Media Group (India) Pvt. Ltd. Head Office: Unit No F2b ( Second Floor) Mira Corporate Suites, Plot No . 1 & 2 Ishwar Nagar, Mathura Road, New Delhi -110065 Ph: 91.11.43011111, Fax: 91.11.43011233 East | Kolkata | 7B, RaniRash Road,1st Floor,Kolkata - 700 013, 91.33.22658479 West | Mumbai | TV Industrial Estate Basement, Unit No. B-22, A. K.Ahire Marg, Worli, Mumbai - 18 Ph: 91.22.61991111, Fax: 91.22.61991115 Ahmedabad | Top floor, Navrang Bldg., Opposite Pizza Hut, Near Swastik Char Rasta, Navrangpura, Ahmedabad 380 009 Ph: 91.79.65102355 South | Bangaluru| 1010 A Wing, 10th Floor, Mittal Towers, M.G. Road, Bangaluru-560001, Karnataka, India, Ph: 91.80.40921037-38, Fax: 91.80.41510657 Hyderabad | Executive business club,Mount Banjara Apartment,1 flr, Road no 12 ,Banjara hills, Hyderabad 500034, Ph: 91.40.66786800, Fax: 91.40.66785800, 91.9700001177 Chennai | FL 9, Alsa Mall, First Floor, 149 Montieth Road, Egmore, Chennai 600008, Ph: 044-42015685 Fax : 044-42015684

Paid the price for getting a radical “new” haircut from another hairdresser when ours refused to be free at short notice. Proceeded to wear a cap for the rest of the month until next haircut. Made, unmade, remade and then abandoned plans to join the gym located across the new office building… Found out we had to park the car a mile away and counted that as our exercise instead. Oh, and we also moved into a brand new swanky office and realised the neighbourhood bar serves up girly cocktails... Sigh!

FHM India MAGAZINE Printed AND PUBLISHED BY VIKAS JOHARI ON BEHALF OF MAXPOSURE MEDIA GROUP (INDIA) PVT. LTD. PUBLISHED AT MAXPOSURE MEDIA GROUP (INDIA) PVT. LTD. Unit No F2b ( Second Floor) Mira Corporate Suites, Plot No . 1 & 2, Ishwar Nagar, Mathura Road, New Delhi -110065, india. EXCLUSIVE DISTRIBUTORS IN INDIA: Indian Book House Pvt. Ltd. Arch no. 29, Below Mahalaxmi Bridge, Mahalaxmi, Mumbai - 400034. FHM INDIA MAGAZINE is published monthly. FHM INDIA MAGAZINE IS A TRADEMARK OF BAUER CONSUMER MEDIA AND THE MAXPOSURE MEDIA GROUP (India) pvt. ltd. AND THE ENTIRE CONTENTS OF FHM INDIA MAGAZINE are COPYRIGHTED TO BAUER CONSUMER MEDIA AND MAXPOSURE MEDIA GROUP (INDIA) PVT. LTD. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. THE WRITING, ARTWORK AND/OR PHOTOGRAPHY CONTAINED HEREIN MAY NOT BE USED OR REPRODUCED WITHOUT THE EXPRESS WRITTEN PERMISSION. MAXPOSURE MEDIA GROUP (India) pvt. ltd. DOES NOT ASSUME RESPONSIBILITY FOR LOSS OR DAMAGE OF UNSOLICITED PRODUCTS, MANUSCRIPTS, PHOTOGRAPHS, ARTWORK, TRANSPARENCIES OR OTHER MATERIALS. MAXPOSURE MEDIA GROUP (India) pvt. ltd. DOES NOT ASSUME ANY LIABILITY FOR SERVICES OR PRODUCTS ADVERTISED HEREIN. FOR INQUIRIES PH: 91.11.43011111, fax: 91.11.43011233 www.fhmindia.com

– Kabeer Sharma fhmindia • fhmindia

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letters

Almonds vs Pistachios Recently while browsing through Google, I happened to come across previous cover girls of FHM and discovered that everyone from Mandira to Mallika, Vidya to Veena and Neha to Nethra have been on your cover, and this month after seeing Soha on your cover, I’m so sure that you guys can bring anybody under your umbrella, no matter what kind of image she has. It is very easy to open a roasted pistachio just with your nails, but it is a Herculean task to bring the meat out of an almond, which requires a hammer to break and I am sure you have that hammer to turn almonds into pistachios. On a lighter note, who is your next pray by the way – Mamata or Maya? Anju Khetarpal, ghaziabad

Anju, do you really think we should feature Mamata or Maya on the cover? Our male readers will get a heart attack.

FHM is my role model, my idol, my God! I absolutely love reading FHM India, and it is the only magazine that I been buying for the last two years. What I love about this magazine is its bold, daring, in-yourface, and highly unconventional content and images that are incomparable and obviously unbeatable. No other magazine even comes close to you guys. FHM is my role model, my idol, my God! In FHM I see myself, and the magazine beautifully

june

represents the super duper weird person that I am! I genuinely like your jokes’ page, I wonder where you get these downright nasty jokes from. The controversial games story was an eye-opener (primarily because there was a nude Lara Croft). I was equally shocked after reading “Is your penis on the Internet?”. I mean if my girlfriend ever puts my nude pictures on the Internet, then toh main kahi bhi mooh dikhane laayak nahi rahonga! It was very interesting and highly engrossing to know about the current generation of famous cartoonists in India, and how they have dealt with criticism and their haters. In India, which is supposedly a democracy, people definitely have the freedom to do what the fuck they want, as far as its not murder or illegal. So, I genuinely don’t see any merit in these people, in positions of power, who harass our prolific cartoonists, who aren’t just making allegoric cartoons but at the end of the day are only doing their job. That apart, I really liked the concept of the outdoor sex story, and very honestly, it is one of my most secret fantasies, so I was amazed to find out more about this sinful act in FHM’s fabulously written article on outdoor sex. Thus, I hereby make a pledge to you, my dear FHM friends, that the day I shall lose my virginity, I will lose it outdoors, maybe in a forest, or even better – maybe at India Gate! What say?

Mayank Sharma, New Delhi

Hey Mayank, while we couldn’t publish your entire 1,800 words letter, we did read it, and dude you are our star reader.

bravehearts

Kudos to you for daring to feature Didi in a cartoon without fearing for your life. I won’t be surprised if in coming days using a gun would be a lesser crime than pursuing fun in India. It’s not that Mamata lacks sense of humour, but she is suffering from some sort of insecurity. Mamata Banerjee may or may not succeed in completely lynching communists from Indian soil, but one thing is for sure that she would drive out every single humorist out of our country.

looks to die for

Soha Ali Khan on the cover of FHM with bare minimum clothes and boxing gloves made my day. I just couldn’t take my eyes off her. I had always fantasised about a princess in my dreams. I don’t know how FHM does it, but kudos for bringing royalty to your cover page. She looked hot and tempting. Our entire office eagerly waits for your issue and after I purchase the magazine, it changes hands so quickly, and few topics of discussion are always from FHM. The joke of the month had me in splits and taught me a lesson as well. The articles on varied subjects – from travelogues, interviews to features – make for an interesting read. Love the magazine. Rupesh Behera, Mumbai

First of all, thanks for applauding our editorial efforts. From now on we will always wait for your letters because feedback – positive or negative – is valuable. Keep writing.

Esprit is an attitude and not an age; Esprit is for the young of heart who live and dress in a style that leaves others fuming.

This letter has won an Esprit Gran Orbit Rosegold Watch

Fun is a business that needs to be taken seriously, and we are even more serious about it. Your feedback is encouraging. July 2012

letter of the month

Mail your howlers to fhm@maxposure.in

Ajit, New Delhi

8

2012

fhmindia • fhmindia

fhmindia.com


jokes access

bad pickup lines

you are hotter than the bottom of my laptop. make fun if his IQ...

Sweet moments

Just before getting into the act with his newly wedded wife, the husband applies some Cadbury chocolate on his penis. Puzzled, the wife asks, “Kya kar rahe ho?” Husband: Shubh kaam shuru karne se pehle kuch mitha ho jaye?

it’s time to spit

An Indian is having breakfast one morning; coffee, croissants, bread, butter and jam when a Pakistani man, chewing gum, sits down next to him. The Indian ignores the Pakistani who, nevertheless, starts a conversation: Pakistani: Do people in your country eat the whole bread? Indian (in a bad mood): Of course. Pakistani : (after blowing a huge bubble) We don’t. In Pakistan, we only eat what’s inside. the crusts we collect in a container, recycle it, transform them into croissants and sell them to India. The Pakistani has a smirk on his face. The Indian listens in silence. The Pakistani persists: Do you eat jam with the bread? Indian : Of course. On their 25th anniversary The wife asked the husband, “When you first saw my naked body, what was going through your mind?” The husband replied, “All I wanted to do was to fuck your brains out, and suck your tits dry.” Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, “What are you thinking now?” He replied, “It looks like I did a pretty good job.” happy shopping A woman walks into the store and purchases the following: 1 small box of detergent, 1 bar of soap, 3 individual servings of yoghurt, 2 oranges and 1 stick of women’s deodorant. She then goes to the check out line. Cashier: “Oh, you must be single.” Woman: You can tell that by what I bought? Cashier: No, you’re fucking ugly! 10

July 2012

Best of sex jokes

Pakistani : (cracking his gum between his teeth and chuckling) We don’t. In Pakistan we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the peels, seeds, and leftovers in containers, recycle them, transform them into jam and sell the jam to your country .” The Indian then asks: Do you have sex in Pakistan? Pakistani: Why? of course we do. (The Pakistani says with a big smirk. Indian : And what do you do with the condoms once you’ve used them? Pakistani : We throw them away, of course. Indian : We don’t. In our country, we put them in a container, recycle them, melt them down into chewing gum and export them to your country..

1. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory. 2. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects. 3. Impotency: Nature’s way of saying, “No hard feelings...” 4. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - ‘don’t’ and ‘stop’, unless they are used together. 5. Panties: Not the best thing on Earth, but certainly next to the best thing. 6. There are three stages in a man’s life: Tri-Weekly, Try Weekly and Try Weakly. 7. Having sex is like playing Bridge – if you don’t have a good partner, you better have

this is fun

Doctor: How can you say that your girlfriend has two holes in her ass? Santa: Whenever Banta and I go to party with her, people say “Here comes the sexy Simran... with two ass-holes.”

Hair raising thoughts

Girl: I’m sexually harassed everyday in the office. Boss: How? Girl: Everyday, this man comes and says your hair smells nice. Boss: What’s the problem in that? Girl: He is only two feet tall.

warning to pak

Rahul Gandhi is unhappy with the frequently changing Pakistan PMs. If this continues, he will get confused and then people will

hole and she was happy with the thing. 11.Despite the old saying, ‘Don’t take your troubles to bed’, many men still sleep with their wives. Mera number kab aayega? A policeman saw a sardar screwing a callgirl inside a car, Police: “Wah Sardar ji

akele-akele? Hamara number kab ayega?” Sardar: “Ladki ke baad...” Just being sexist As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, “If I’m going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman.” She removes all her clothing and asks, “Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?” A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, “Here, iron this!”. sing along

Wife: Whenever I sing why do you stand in the balcony. Husband: To ensure that our neighbours don’t think I’m fucking you forcefully. Women are no less

a good hand. 8. I once tried phone sex, but the holes in the phone were too small. 9. Australian kiss is same thing as a French kiss, only down under. 10. A couple just married were happy with the whole thing. He was happy with the

Husband: You will never succeed in making the dog obey you! Wife: Idiot, it’s just about time. I had a lot of trouble with you too at first. kids at play

A kid to dad: What’s between mom’s legs ? Dade: Paradise Kid: What’s between your leg? Dad: The key to paradise. Kid: Please change the lock. Our neighbour has a duplicate key.

share gags, earn cash. K now an y f u nn y j okes ? E v e ry gag u sed ea r ns yo u ` 2 5 0 ( haha ) . S end them to fhm @ maxpos u r e. in

fhmindia.com


news access

no vote, no sex

To ensure that all the men cast their vote during an upcoming election in Mexico, Josefina Vazquez Mota of the National Action Party urged women to refuse any request for sex from their men until they go out an vote.

Now, a two-wheeled car!

The self balancing hybrid two wheeler car, Lit C-1, uses a set of futuristic electronic gyroscopes to ensure it remains upright and balanced, similar to the technology used by Segway scooters and the recent Honda UNI-CUB.

Love makes you stupid too A famous psychologist at the University of Oxford, Prof. Robin Dunbar claimed that the rational part of your brain shuts down while experiencing love. Dunbar based his theory after analysing a decade old brain experiment conducted in UK at the University College of London. Dunbar said that when volunteers who participated in the research were shown the pictures of their partners with whom they were madly in love with, the critical part of the brain became less active while the heart started to rule. Widow of cops who died during threesome compensated

After finding that her husband wasn’t warned against strenuous sexual activity by his doctors, a jury awarded the Georgia woman $3 million after her husband suffered a heart attack died while he and a male friend were having sex with a woman.

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July 2012

fhmindia • fhmindia

MAN BITES DOG Well, that’s news. An absconding fugitive, 22-year-old Keith Glaspie, bit a police dog in North Carolina last month while Glaspie was trying to run away from the authorities. It happened like this – When Glaspie who was eluding arrest was spotted by the police on Henry Street, he tried to run away, but the dog, Maxx, soon caught up with him and a struggle followed in which Glaspie tore Maxx’s ear with his teeth. It took 15 stitches to repair the damage while Glaspie too suffered some injuries. Restaurateur in Goa caught peeing in juicer All of you who think that bartenders don’t mess with your drink, this piece of news will make you worry. An ice cream parlour in Goa was shut down by the Goa food

and drugs administration department after an employee circulated a video on his mobile that showed the owner urinating into the juice pot. The video also reached the department’s director Salim Belji who instantly sent a team to the parlour to testify the authenticity of the video. In investigations, the juice parlour was found to be unhygienic, and hence was shut. Sex Toy Fools Entire Chinese Village Recently in a Chinese village, a double-headed sex toy was mistaken for a mystical rare fungus. The sex toy was discovered by villagers from Liucunbu while drilling a new well shaft. The news spread like a wild fire and the local news agency even ran special shows tracking the entire DNA of the so called fungus. Reporter Yunfeng Ye even linked her research to the mushroom in a show. News channels were mocked when the real story came to light. fhmindia.com


&.

Where art meets luxury

JUNE 2012 / ` 100

SEX ON THE

A PROS' GUIDE TO EURO 2012 WHO’LL TRIUMPH? WHO’LL FLOP? FIND OUT INSIDE...

SOHA ALI KHAN

IN A SHOOT SO HOT, IT’LL SEND SAIF INTO ORBIT

BEACH HOT GIRLS '

NAUGHTIEST ALFRESCO TIPS FHM MEETS THE WORLD’S COOLEST GUITARIST - SLASH (And giggles like a little girl)

A LUCKY SOD WHO LANDED

` 965 CR

AND LOST IT 20 MINS LATER

FHM

The complete man manual

INDIAN HOCKEY’S OLYMPIC HOPE SHUN THE GYM, TREK YOUR WAY TO A SIX-PACK PLAY A WORKPLACE GAME THAT LOOKS LIKE WORK

INDIA EDITION VOL 5 ISSUE 07

TELLY’S BIKINI GAL • HORROR MOVIE CLICHÉS• CARTOONISTS • NEW CAMERAS

Diabetic Living

N. 3/12

MaXposure Media Group is an integrated media solutions company spread across the dimensions of publishing, creative solutions, and events

India’s first and only magazine about diabetes

Estetica

` 150

Reinventing hair couture

vision Go retro with crimps and braids makeover Hairdos for a formal evening

w w w . e s t e t i c a t v . c o m / w w w . e s t e t i c a i n d i a . i n

MaXposure Media Group (India) Pvt. Ltd. Unit No. F2b (Second Floor), Mira Corporate Suites, Plot No. 1 & 2 Ishwar Nagar, Mathura Road, New Delhi -110065. Ph.: 011-43011111, www.maxposure.in New Delhi

Mumbai

Bengaluru

Chennai

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Ahmedabad


the hell

are the

anonym0us? Everything that you wanted to know and need to know about the e-warriors…

Why do they call themselves Anonymous That’s because the protestors don’t reveal their identity. What do they oppose? Primarily internet censorship and child pornography. How do they oppose it? They make the content of their target website unavailable to users. It’s called DDoS – Distributed Denial Of Services. Popularity chart They started gaining popularity when they opposed and took action against Internet censorship in the US and anti-digital piracy in 2008. American broadcaster CNN touted them as the most powerful successor to Wikileaks, and Time Magazine gave Anonymous the 12th place on their list of most powerful people.

“Anyone who wants to can be Anonymous and work towards a set of goals...”

“We will continue to attack those who embrace censorship. You will not be able to hide your ludicrous ways to control us.” How do they appear in public? They make public appearances wearing the Guy Fawkes mask popularised by the ten-issue comic book and film ,V for Vendetta. Why are they back in the news now? In May, when the Madras High Court passed the first ever ‘John Doe’ order (called Ashok Kumar order in India) banning illegal downloading, offering to download, or selling VCDs or DVDs of the movie 3, Anonymous launched a DDoS campaign against the Indian government. They brought down www. certin.org.in and www.india. gov.in. Apart from that, demonstrators wearing Guy Fawkes mask protested in six cities including Delhi, Mumbai, Nagpur, Hyderabad, Pune and Chandigarh on June 9, 2012. Their major protests till date

When The Pirate Bay was found guilty of copyright infringements, Anonymous launched a coordinated DDoS attack against the International Federation of the Phonographic Industry 14

July 2012

Who is Commander X? He is the one who gives interviews and videos on the group’s behalf. In 2011, a gardener was falsely identified as Commander X who in interviews has accepted that he is a skilled hacker and founder of the Peoples Liberation Front, a subgroup of Anonymous that reacts much faster than Anonymous.

fhmindia • fhmindia

I) April 2009 London When The Pirate Bay was found guilty of copyright infringements, Anonymous launched a coordinated DDoS attack against the International Federation of the Phonographic Industry – an organisation responsible for safeguarding recording artists’ rights.

II) January 19, 2012, USA When file sharing portal Megupload was banned by the FBI and the Department of Justice, Anonymous declared an Internet war against the agencies disabling websites of the FBI, Universal Music Group, the Recording Industry Association of America, the Motion Picture Association of America and Broadcast Music Inc. Within 70 minutes of the launch of attack, the Department of Justice website was shut down. III) December 2007, Canada The group helped police nab Internet predator Chris Forcand who was charged for child sexual and firearm offences. IV) 2011 They launched a campaign to bring down portals that hosted child pornography.

“We just happen to be a group of people on the Internet who need — just kind of an outlet to do as we wish, that we wouldn’t be able to do in regular society...That’s more or less the point of it. Do as you wish” Words: Kumar Saurav

who

The origin They started in 2003 as a group of hacktivists – people who use computer networks as a means to protest against something.

fhmindia.com


www.supremecourtofindia.nic.in

www.aicc.org.in

www.dot.gov.in

www.mtnl.net/in

www.certin.org.in www.india.gov.in

fbi spent sleepless nights when anonymous brought down the agency’s portal in January 2012.

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fhmindia • fhmindia

July 2012

15


HOW PUBLIC MONEY IS FLUSHED OUT A list of completely unacceptable ways to waste the taxpayers’ money…

Vietnam

On television sets: Last year in the name of research, $702,558 was shelled out in Vietnam to bring television sets to 14 remote villages. Since these villages didn’t have electricity, the government also had to fund gas generators.

USA

On videogames: $113,277 for conservation of video games

USA

On non-existing bridges: In 2011, $1 million was spent to promote a bridge that was never built.

USA

On homeless people: Tax credits of about $1 billion were given to homeless people for energy efficient home improvements.

USA

On dead employees: $120 million in retirement and disability benefits were paid to already dead employees.

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July 2012

USA

On pancakes: $765,828 to build an International House of Pancake franchise.

fhmindia • fhmindia

Indonesia

On a cookery show: On a cookery show: $100,000 was spent on a celebrity chef show in Indonesia.

fhmindia.com


UK

On bottled water: BBC was recently accused of wasting £406,000 of public money a year on bottled water. However, these figures don’t include the amount the broadcaster spent on ordering bottled waters at the 103,000 events it held last year.

Germany INDIA

To woo voters: If you have a voter ID, politicos in Tamil Nadu will perhaps gift you everything from a piece of land, house and TV to mixer grinder, fan, laptop and mineral water. Obviously, Jayalalitha and Karunanidhi don’t pay it from their pocket, we do.

On gold-rimmed manhole covers: Every year, 30 billion euros are wasted in Germany on gold-rimmed manhole covers, fake bridges and uniforms ordered in the wrong size.

Pakistan

On mangoes: Over a period of four years, $30 million were spent to help mango farmers in Pakistan.

India

On bungalows and parks: `86 crore of public money was exhausted to renovate Mayawati’s 13 Mall Avenue bungalow in Lucknow. Mayawati had also spent close to 2,500 crores on building parks and statues in the state. The election commission later spent a crore to cover up the statues ahead of the last state election in which Mayawati lost.

fhmindia.com

India

On toilets: In a recent RTI enquiry, it was found that the Planning Commission of India that had estimated a poverty line figure of ` 28 per day per person shelled out ` 35 lakh to renovate two toilets in its New Delhi headquarters. ` 5.19 lakhs were then spent to issue smart cards to 60 officials who were entitled to use these toilets. fhmindia • fhmindia

Libya

To compensate warriors who never fought: In less than three months, $1.4 billion were paid to people who participated in last year’s revolt against dictator Muammar Gaddafi. However, most of the people who were actually paid were either dead or didn’t participate in the uprising.

July 2012

17


every BATMAN ever! poster Leaving aside the comics, here are the capedcrusader’s film and TV appearances since 1943.

e Justic e u g Lea a ed was t i m ce i i l t Un to Jusrt el u q se e apa the Leagu being from ries in the se final Animated DC rse. Unive

The Batman – 1943 (TV Series)

Batman and Robin – 1949 (TV Series)

Batman: The Animated Series – 1992

Batman Returns – 1992

Batman: Mask of the Phantasm – 1993

Batman Forever – 1995

Batman: Mystery of the Batwoman – 2003

Batman Begins – 2005

Batman: Gotham Knight – 2008

Batman: The Brave and the Bold – 2008

nth o M s i h t Out

Justice League: Crisis on Two Earths – 2010

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July 2012

Superman/Batman: Apocalypse – 2010

fhmindia • fhmindia

Batman: Year One – 2011

The Dark Knight Rises – 2012

fhmindia.com


access

homosexual batman! Batman – 1966

Super Friends – 1973-1986

The New Adventures of Batman – 1977

Batman – 1989

He’s gay, seriously?

Justice League: New Frontier – 2008

Batman & Mr. Freeze: SubZero – 1998

The Dark Knight – 2008

Batman Beyond – 1999

Justice League – 2001

Superman/Batman: Public Enemies – 2009

Batman: Under the Red Hood – 2010

Year t x e N t Ou

Beware the Batman – 2013

fhmindia.com

fhmindia • fhmindia

July 2012

Words: Shruti Gattani

Batman and Robin – 1997

ever since robin came in to batman’s life, his sexuality has always been questioned. batman is gay has been an unending debate, but only until recently. back in april Batman writer Grant Morrison did reveal that he is “utterly gay”. He also mentioned that “gayness is built into the character”. In fact, his relationship with the clown prince of crime (joker) has been pegged as much more than just hero versus villain.

19


access

mamta kulkarni

anu agarwal

Number of films: 32 Claim to fame: Topless shoot for Stardust cover Catch her in: Karan Arjun (1995), Sabse Bada Khiladi (1995) Current status: We hear she’s married to a

Number of films: 9 Claim to fame: Aashiqui (1990) Catch her in: Ghazab Tamasha (1992) and Janam Kundli (1995) Current status: She was suddenly spotted at a party in Mumbai earlier this year.

businessman in the US.

Number of films: 30 Claim to fame: His supporting roles Catch him in: Aag Ke Sholay (1988), Param Dharam (1987), Insaniyat Ke Dushman (1987) Current status:

Unknown

Any actress of the 90s would have slipped into a coma at the idea of nude covers and that’s the reason everyone thought that Kulkarni was much ahead of her contemporaries with her dare to bare attitude. Though she delivered a couple of

hits, her cautious approach to scripts came in the way.

While Aashiqui remains one of the landmark Hindi films, it didn’t do any good for its lead actors – Anu Agarwal and Rahul Roy. While Anu did try to re-fuel her career with a poorly made films like Khalnayika (1993) and King Uncle (1993), nothing salvaged the situation and she suddenly vanished for 15 years.

You have got to have that something extra to be a part of over thirty films in seven years. Saigal was a popular Bollywood face in late 80s when he played supporting roles in films opposite actors like Sanjay Dutt, Mithun Chakraborty and many more before he quit the industry in 1995.

Sonu Walia

kamal Sadanah

sonam

Number of films: 27 Claim to fame: Her lip lock with Akbar Khan in Akarshan (1998). Catch her in: Khoon Bhari Maang (1988), and Haatim Tai (1990) Current status: Reportedly married to a

Number of films: 12 Claim to fame: Rang (1993) Catch him in: Bekhudi (1992), Nirnayak (1997), Rock Dancer (1995) and Victoria No. 203 (2007) Current status: He is hardly seen in public.

businessman in the US.

Number of films: 35 Claim to fame: Vijay (1988) and Tridev (1989) Catch her in: Kroadh (1990) and Ajooba (1991) Current status: After gangster Abu Salem unsuccessfully tried to kill her hubby Rajiv Rai, the couple left for Switzerland.

Though her debut film Shart (1986) failed to make a mark on the boxoffice, her next, Rekha and Kabir Bedi starrer

Khoon Bhari Maang (1998) got her an award for her supporting role. Sadly, her killer looks couldn’t further her career.

Inspite of being the son of producer Brij Sadanah (who killed himself after shooting his mother and sister dead on Kamal’s 20th birthday), Kamal couldn’t carve a niche for himself and had to slip into oblivion. He tried to direct a fim, Karkash, but the distributors gave him a cold shoulder.

She went on to become a household name with the hugely popular song Oye Oye from Tridev. Till then she was just a sex symbol waiting for a role that would vouch for her acting skills, which came in the form of Mitti Aur Sona. At just 19, she married filmmaker Rajiv Rai and quit Bollywood.

kimi katkar

raj kiran

helen brodie

Number of films: 48 Claim to fame: Adventures of Tarzan (1985) Catch her in: Zalzala (1988) and Hum (1991) Current: She is now married to adman Shantanu Sheorey, and lives in Melbourne.

Much before she conquered our hearts with Jumma Chumma in the Big B starrer Hum, she had already redefined onscreen seduction in the Hemant Birje starrer Adventures Of Tarzan (1985). Her filmy career was pretty impressive, and she quit stardom just at the right time, and promised to never return.

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sumeet saigal

July 2012

Number of films: 87 Claim to fame: Arth (1982) and Karz (1980) Catch him in: Ghar Ho To Aisa (1990) and Kissa Kursee Ka (1978) Current status: His daughter denied reports of his presence at the asylum.

The successful star of 70s and 80s suddenly went missing for a decade. Even his friends thought that he was dead. According to a wall post by Deepti Naval he was driving a cab in NYC. However, Rishi Kapoor, his co-star in Karz, didn’t give up and traced him to a mental asylum in Atlanta.

fhmindia • fhmindia

Number of films: 2 Claim to fame: Janam Samjha Karo music video Catch her in: Monsoon (2001) and Hadh Kar Di Aapne (2000) Current status: She’s now married.

The model turned actress couldn’t come up with a commendable performance, however, the oomph that she exhibited in the soft porn Monsoon by Jug Mundra (2001) made her every man’s fantasy.

fhmindia.com


Meenakshi Sheshadri

do now you k ta e mam wher s? i arni kulk

Hemant Birje

Number of films: 67 Claim to fame: Damini (1994) Catch her in: Ghatak (1996), Ghayal (1990) and Ghar Ho to Aisa (1990) Current status: Settled in Texas with her husband

Tej Sapru Number of films: 43 Claim to fame: Adventures of Tarzan (1983) Catch him in: Paanch Paapi (1990) Current status: Recently his wife lodged a police complaint against him for assaulting her.

Number of films: 176 Claim to fame: Nothing in particular Catch him in: Gupt (1997), Mohra (1994) and Saajan (1991) Current status:

Not known

She was not just the youngest girl to be crowned Miss India, but also a performer who won several awards including a nomination for Filmfare Best Actress Award for Jurm in 1991 and then again for Damini in 1994. She had a lustrous career spanning 14 years.

Inspite of doing almost 50 films, his claim to fame remains his debut Adventures of Tarzan (1983). Though the film centered around him, it was Kimi Katkar, the female lead, who stole the limelight, and Birje was left with no option but to piggybank on her success.

You may not remember any particular film of his, but he was pretty regular on the screen and one of the best choices for playing a side-kick to villains. No wonder he acted in so many films.

Ruby Bhatia

Guddi Maruti

Dr Shreeram Lagoo

Number of films: 3 Claim to fame: Channel [V] Catch her in: Halla Bol (2008) Current STAtus: After briefly tying the knot with musician Nitin Bali, she then married some Ajit S Dutta.

Number of films: 126 Claim to fame: Maybe the fact that she weighed as much as Tuntun. Catch her in: Biwi No 1 (1999), Dulhe Raja (1998) Current status: Are you really bothered?

Number of films: 152 Claim to fame: Filmfare Best Supporting Actor Award for Hindi film Gharaonda in 1978. Catch him in: Laawaris (1981) and Mukaddar Ka Sikander (1978) Current status: God knows.

She was not an actress, but was certainly a pretty face with a million dollar smile and a haircut that became synonymous with her. The Channel [V] VJ was quite popular inspite of her limited skills.

Though she was being touted as the replacement of Tuntun, there was hardly any comparison between them. Still Guddi had her moments in Bollywood with films in which she worked as a side character.

In the over 100 Hindi films that he worked in, he mostly played the role of a dukhiyari aatma. However, it was not Hindi films, but Marathi theatre that nurtured the real talent of Dr Lagoo who was considered the best personality of Marathi theatre.

Dan Dhanoa

Saeed Jaffrey

kirti reddy

Number of films: 34 Claim to fame: Danny Dyer’s role in Amitabh Bachchan starrer Mard (1981) Catch him in: Shahenshah (1988) Current status: Even Google doesn’t know where the hell is he.

He was one of the most popular sidekicks of late Eighties. Whether it was the role of Danny Dyer in Amitabh Bachchan’s Mard (1981) or of Singhania’s assistant in Trinetra (1991), the guy pulled off every role with sheer perfection.

fhmindia.com

Number of films: 182 Claim to fame: Gandhi (1982) Catch him in: The Man Who Would Be King (1975) and My Beautiful Laundrette (1985). Current status: No one has a clue

The world needn’t be told how good he was. Both in India and the UK, Jaffrey has been applauded for his acting skills. He acted in UK’s longest running television show Coronation Street as well as Gangsters and Tandoori Nights. We haven’t heard anything from him in a really long time.

fhmindia • fhmindia

Number of films: 10 Claim to fame: Tera Jadoo Chal Gaya (2000) Catch her in: Pyaar Ishq Aur Mohabbat (2001) Current status: She divorced Sumanth, is remarried and now has a baby boy.

She was praised more than Jr AB with whom she debuted in Tera Jadoo Chal Gaya. Not that she was immensely talented, but she was a pretty face while Jr AB looked like a bloated condom. While people slept throughout the film, Kirti married Nagarjuna’s nephew actor Sumanth instead.

July 2012

Words: Kumar Saurav

THESE CELEBS HAVE GONE MISSING AND ONLY GOD KNOWS WHERE THEY ARE…

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access mahesh bhupati vs leander paes

FHM chronicles the split that has embarrassed indian sports once again

The duo of Leander Paes and Mahesh Bhupathi were nicknamed the “Indian Express”. Shailendra Singh, their former manager, says that Piperno, who had a huge influence on Paes, “did not fancy Bhupathi”. The differences became acute following Bhupathi’s association with Globosport, a sports management firm perceived by the Indian tennis administration as a rival body. Bhupathi broke up his partnership with Paes in 2002. In the 2006 Asian Games, the duo lost to the Chinese Taipei team. However, for the 2008 Beijing Olympics, they decided to play together for their country. Paes-Bhupati reunited to play the Australian Open 2011. They claimed the runners-up position. Leander Peas was paired with Vishnu Vardhan at the London Olympics 2012, when Mahesh Bhupathi refused to partner him at the Olympics. On June 20 2012, Paes threatened to withdraw from Olympics 2012 rather than to play with the poorly ranked Vardhan. Paes’ former mixed doubles partner, Sania Mirza also took a potshot at him by claiming that she was used as a “bait” to pacify him. However, Paes has now agreed to play with any team the All India Tennis Association (AITA) chooses. 22

July 2012

column kabeer sharma

sex, lies and the workplace

nothing’s better for company morale than some horizontal happy happy... are you listening HR? Some things are complicated – and then there are those that are so complicated they make you want to rip your genitals out (women insist we don’t have a heart anyway), put it on a plate, toss it in mushrooms like a nut did a while back in China and serve it with a double Scotch. Workplace equations, especially the kinds that might have involved some horizontal and vertical happy happy, are straight up there. It’s bad when it is working out because let’s face it, you have no excuse for not answering the phone if she can just stand up in her seat and see you staring at your crotch. Workplace relationships don’t work for a variety of reasons and the fact that the new ‘Made in China’ desks can barely take the weight of two Jeffrey Archer novels, let alone two adults going at it is just one of them. To make matters worse, most office buildings now have more glass than seaworld, which doesn’t help either. Even then the enthusiastic aspirational workplace hopper soldiers on – surely it is damn next to impossible for someone in the parking lot to see what’s happening on the 14th floor. There’s the sun’s glare, plus of course no one is that retarded, even though standing in the parking lot and laughing about a man picking his nose on the 15th floor of the same building is becoming somewhat of a ritual for you. There’s also the fact that offices now have CCTV cameras, key cards and the days of the deserted, darkened parking lots are now behind us.

Corporate culture – even though it encourages you to get drunk together, takes you on off-sites together, sends you off on trips together – likes to keep it at just that Your only hope could be to work your ass off, become the boss, live the horrible cliché and hire a buxom Catholic girl in a gray skirt to be your secretary. But that seems like an awful amount of work for an orgasm. Plus, you’d probably be stuck like your boss with an ass for an interior designer and a glass cube for a cabin. Corporate culture – even though it encourages you to get drunk together, takes you on off-sites together, sends you off on trips together – likes to keep it at just that. Like Sunny Leone takes you to the place right before an orgasm and leaves you there to finish off. The idea is simple enough. You can do it at a hotel, look longingly at each other across 7000 sq ft, slap each other’s bottom at work, but that’s it. The core of corporate philosophy is for you to sit in each meeting, take on each project, and work late nights without complaining with the fhmindia • fhmindia

idea of cheating on your wife, girlfriend or fiancé at the back of your mind. But it’s just that – bait. True there have been those, essentially in media houses, who’ve bitten the bait and have been caught on ATM cameras underneath their offices doing more than checking their account status, or getting caught with their pants off on the fire escape staircases and in the backseats of cars. But the media is a different creature. In the case of the ATM tryst, a super senior journalist who has instigated and

covered wars was not dealt with severely, but a couple who was caught in the office of a major newspaper were forced to marry. The real problems happen when the workplace wife becomes the after-work wife or girlfriend. Now that disturbs the natural order of things, but let’s leave that for another day. To be honest, I think there is nothing wrong with a little workplace shag. And I say this knowing how corporate culture looks upon it and also going against a credo a dear friend said would get you through most of your life – don’t dip your pen in the company ink. Or maybe it’s a way of rebelling against the company and sticking it to the lowest rung of the corporate ladder – the HR who nags you about things like an appraisal or wearing shorts to work – a grown-up equivalent to tattoos and black nail paint. God knows, either way it’s a gem of a way to spice up a boring board meeting. fhmindia.com


access all aBout dhoble

everything that you ever wanted to know about the man killing mumbai’s nightlife...

column mistress of vices

THE DEATH OF OUR NIGHTLIFE?

Pack up your workstations, down a quick drink and go home kids, because Dhoble’s on the prowl!

ACP Vasant Dhoble was suspended in 1989 for accepting a bribe. In 1994, he was sentenced to seven years in prison and fined a lakh for his role in a custodial death. However, his jail sentence was dismissed and he was reinstated in 1996. Currently, Mr Dhoble heads the Mumbai Police’s Social Service branch. On June 8, he barged in on international DJ Eddie Halliwell‘s set at the Blue Frog Mumbai, wrapping up the show prematurely. That wasn’t all. Juhu lounge bar Aurus was shut down in May this year after a raid by Dhoble. He also raided the nightclub Shiro in Worli, saying it was flouting laws. Although, he claims over-crowding to be the main issue of these raids. In his defence, Dhoble in one of his interviews said - “We aren’t conducting raids... we are just ensuring rules and regulations are implemented. We aren’t curbing the nightlife. Let people enjoy... we are just implementing the law.” About 50 residents of the western suburbs have formed a forum – Citizens for Free Mumbai – with the aim of helping cops in their crackdown on the city’s nightlife. A Facebook page called ‘Dhoble – Oppressor of the Innocent Public’ has more than 20,000 members. Even writer and commentator Pritish Nandy has described him as ‘Public Enemy No 1’ on Twitter. 24

July 2012

Let’s face it. We all need a drink or two or well, maybe a dozen to take the edge off a particularly gnarly day. That doesn’t make us alcoholics. We spend all afternoon dreaming of that chilled glass of elixir as the bosses’ barking and the collective din of assorted ringtones and keyboard taps set the background score. And then it happens, the clock strikes freedom hour and you run out the door at a pace that would put Usain Bolt to shame. But what happens next breaks your heart – you are told you need a permit, yes PERMIT, to drink at your neighbourhood bar. It feels like a betrayal as your trusted barkeep hands you a piece of paper that reminds you of prohibition akin to the Boardwalk Empire days and you start looking around nervously even while having dinner at a café post 10pm wondering if Uncle Dhoble is going to attack you for being a delinquent. In another city of our proud democratic country, boys and girls are not allowed to dance together in public and parties are shut at 11.30pm even before

most of generation Z (uh, which alphabet are we on these days) being born. For the record, I don’t have first-hand experience of going to any of these clubs. Instead, while I drowned myself in assignments and extracurriculars to woo Ivy League colleges (boy was that a misled dream), it was in fact my parents who were frequenting these places night after night unmindful of weekdays or bothersome things like deadlines. There are stories of free cocaine in the bathroom, gilded private areas and Single Malts that didn’t rob you blind. Look how far we’ve come. Today, a rapidly growing urban youth that has disposable incomes, time at hand and a lot more freedom to be the way they want to is starved of a proper nightlife. And enterprising twats are using this as an excuse to throw money in opening spanking new “bars” that sell cocktails at 900 bucks a pop with rude bouncers and ignorant door

Sundowner sessions – the cornerstone of lazy Sundays not bound by curfews – are dubbed as “raves”, electronica labelled as devil music and women in clubs are called prostitutes they have a chance to start up. Elsewhere, a top cop in-charge of an urban MNC hub suggests that women shouldn’t step out after 8pm or that male-only groups don’t go out drinking on their own. Worse still, sundowner sessions – the cornerstone of lazy Sundays not bound by curfews – are dubbed as “raves”, electronica labelled as the devil’s music and women in clubs are called prostitutes. As someone who makes it a habit to challenge last call, embraces drinking challenges, regularly indulges in girls’ only night outs, and often stumbles out of bars into waiting cabs (note that I don’t support drunken driving); this is nothing short of an apocalypse. Worse still, it’s an epidemic so dangerous that it could debase our entire lives. And if we let things run their course, we’ll be left with no alcohol, no dancing, no fraternising, and no debauchery of any kind. One shudders at the thought. It pains even more because I fondly remember a time in the early 2000’s when Delhi was witnessing a hangover of the superclub era, which was somehow linked closely to its supermodel era. For those familiar with the phenomenon and more importantly, those old enough to remember it – Djinns, Athena and Capitol led the roost of late-night dens that possibly were the cause of fhmindia • fhmindia

policies as a bonus. I say this knowing fully well that I’m in a minority who thinks what we have these days is far from good. Sure there are hole-in-thewall options mushrooming across our metropolitans every other day, but most of them fall prey to the curse of popularity. One minute they are bursting with potential, serving cold beers and tart cocktails and welcoming you like a VIP, and the next they are understaffed, out of stock for everything but the liquor brands that give them moolah and resort to snubbing you on busy days. Of course, it’s a boon to have so many bars, pubs and clubs. And we are grateful that international DJ’s and artists play here regularly now and Jägermeister is no longer considered exotic… But unless the people who make the greens levying taxes and collecting bribes from the owners who in turn fleece us with cheap booze and exorbitant prices don’t change their attitude towards nightlife, we’ll be taking our business to the well-meaning ahatas and speakeasies instead, and continue to play electronica louder than ever before! fhmindia.com


’s Batman is ehicle v fannew using can , and propelled engines ’s loaded rs, driven shapes. It booste, ocket change r , cockpit two with o-person floodlights a tw nted red -mou an dual dual-ancho and , ns gu machineromagnetic Elect guidance pulse unt. mo

Will Manny and the gang manage to enthrall audiences once again? We’ll have to wait and watch…

T

he fourth installment of the hit franchise of Ice Age, this one is in 3D and has an ensemble cast – Ray Romano, John Leguizamo, Denis Leary, Queen Latifah, Chris Wedge and Jennifer Lopez amongst others doing the voiceovers for the characters. The film, helmed by Steve Martino and Mike Thurmeier, takes Manny and his comrades on another crazy journey. This one takes place after Ice Age 3: Dawn of the Dinosaurs. Scrat’s never-ending chase of the acorn leads to events that force Manny, Sid and Diego to set out on an escapade. During this adventure is when Sid reunites with his long-lost family, Diego meets his love interest and all of them bump into a set of unruly pirates. The latter are in the mood

26

July 2012

to create a ruckus to stop Manny’s gang from returning home. And this is where the real fun starts. Though it’s going to be another rollercoaster ride, we can still whine about the fact that Buck from the third part is missing in Ice Age 4 because Simon Pegg’s voiceover made him one of the most-loved animated characters. But as an added bonus, the trailers suggest that few scenes from Scrat’s Continental Crack-up will also be used in the film. Let’s hope that on July 13, 2012, this film matches the madness of the previous editions as many viewers are getting bored of this franchise.

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The hit jodi of Love Aaj Kal is back, only this time they bring along another eye-candy to mix things up…

T

he two leggy lasses – Deepika Padukone and Diana Penty – both looking smokin’ hot in their avatars are the only reason we at FHM are booking advance tickets. Deepika’s orange bikini and Diana’s charm will hopefully earn the film some moolah.

Let’s not forget there’s Saif Ali Khan with his Nawabi personality to woo the ladies. Cocktail centres around three dynamic and completely different people, who gradually become best friends – Gautam is a hopeless flirt, Veronica is a bombshell and Meera is the desi girl. They stay together and are inseparable until confusion and love complicates things. Set in London, director Homi Adajania adds a pop of colour through the umpteen picturesque locales of the metropolis, but it’s Pritam’s music that makes the movie fun. Cocktail is out on July 13, 2012.

fhmindia.com

Words: Shruti Gattani

ice age: continental drift

cocktail


MOVIES

the dark knight rises

The last installment in Christopher Nolan’s celebrated Batman saga is looking grittier and darker than the previous two and we can’t wait…

L

et’s start from where the predecessor left off. The Dark Knight, as we know, ends with Batman deciding to take the blame for Harvey Dent’s misdeeds to keep his legacy alive. What follows is the Gotham PD launching a manhunt for Batman, who has decided to hang up his coat and opt out of crime fighting. Now, a few years later, Gotham city faces a threat from a new villain – Bane played by the beefed up Tom Hardy. In comparison to Batman’s previous enemy Joker – a chaotic creator of anarchy with an unbearable wicked sense of humor, Bane is closer to the definition of a terrorist as he’s destructive with a criminal mind. The movie has some very impressive upgrades in terms

fhmindia.com

of the hardware with cars that look like flying fortresses, firepower that men always dream of and a Hollywood hottie with a wicked side playing Bane’s aide. The now fitter Anne Hathway is Selina Kyle, who works to execute of Bane’s plans. Shot across locations in India, UK and US, this one’s a definite superhit and if the latest trailer showing Bane walking away from a fight with Batman with his mask in hand is anything to go by, this one will have a very interesting run and a perfect conclusion to the story. Releasing on July 20, 2012, The Dark Knight Rises is a must watch this summer.

Bol-Bacchan Does Rohit Shetty’s latest has the potential to make another ` 100 crore just like his previous ones?

H

ere is the twist in the tale – Rohit Shetty’s Bol Bachchan, which was earlier pegged, as the official remake

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of 1979 super-hit Golmaal is quite different from the original. While Hrishikesh Mukherjee’s flick weighed more towards comedy, Bol Bachchan has fight scenes from the beginning. However, some things like Abhishek Bachachan’s character have been picked from the original. The actor who plays a moustache donning Abbas Ali is quite similar to Amol Palekar’s character. Ajay Devgn on the other hand, plays a powerful akhada king and an absolute lie hater, Prithviraj Raghuvanshi. Adding the glam quotient are Asin and Prachi Desai. Set against the backdrop of Ranakpur – a small village, it brings Prithviraj and Abbas under one roof. Due to unavoidable circumstances, Abbas is forced to lie and change his identity leading to a web of lies. From the trailers, it appears to be another typical Rohit Shetty film loaded with flying action scenes and crass comedy, but we have come to terms with that. Sadly, just like the narrative, the music by Himesh Reshammiya and Ajay-Atul is nothing great either and the title track with Amitabh Bachchan is the only saving grace. The film is out on July 6, 2012.

July 2012

27


vitals shar ath gayak wad age: 20 he holds the Asian records in 50m Butterfly, 50m Breaststroke.

F

sharath gayakwad We make you meet the first-ever Indian swimmer at the Paralympics

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July 2012

Words: Kumar Saurav; Illustrations: Varun Bhardwaj

or someone who has won 30 national and 40 international medals, an Olympic berth is well deserved. The Asian record holder for the 50 metres Butterfly and 50 metres Breaststroke is the first Indian swimmer at the London Paralympics. The four times national record holder says, “National records have never made me overconfident because my main focus is to always give my best time and keep improving, but being the first Indian to qualify is a great feeling and I hope that many more will qualify in the future.” While Sharath is training as hard as he ever has, he’s concentrating more on technique, eating healthy and getting proper rest. He adds, “I’m currently in Perth, Australia training hard under Mel Tantrum. My main target is to perform well and to win medals at the upcoming Paralympics and other competitions in the future. I really hope to break world records some day.” Sharath won two gold, four silver and one bronze at the 2009 IWAS World Games and a bronze at the 2010 Asian Para Games held in Guangzhou (China), which helped him book the Paralympics berth. Inspite of being so successful, it’s not just for professional reasons that Sharath likes to swim… It has helped him a lot in his personal life too. “ It earned me selfconfidence and respect and made me realise that I have to do what I love.” When Sharath first entered the pool all he wanted to do was to have fun, but when he came to know that special competitions are held for differently-abled people, he decided to turn pro and started training for it. “The encouragement from my parents, coaches and friends has kept me focussed. Also, I love the sport.” We don’t want to bitch about cricket, but the fact remains that in India, it’s not easy to pursue a career in any other sport. However, Sharath is not as negative as us. He says, “That is true, but I am happy that I got all the encouragement and support from everyone around me. Also, for the past 2-3 years due to the Commonwealth games, Asian games and Olympics there has been a lot of support coming from the government and a lot of sponsors are showing interest in other sports.” fhmindia • fhmindia

fhmindia.com


PROFILE

how to ace swimming

– by sHarath gayakwad

Tip 4

Even concentration plays a pivotal role in victory or loss Always concentrate only on your own swimming and don’t be distracted by others swimming around you. Positivity is key. Don’t let anything distract you.

Tip 1

The first thing to remember when you stand on the mark Technique is the most important thing. Everything you do in the water counts, from your body position to your breathing and even your mindset.

Tip 2

What you should you aim for? Your main aim should be to better your previous performance.

fhmindia.com

Tip 5

What should you do when you come to the surface? Take a quick breath and hold it for as long as you can while in the middle of a lap. This will make sure that you don’t breathe rapidly in short gaps after the exertion.

Tip 3

How fast should you really be? Quick starts, quick turns and quick finishes are key to a winning performance. fhmindia • fhmindia

Tip 6

The key to the podium It is essential to have strong underwater kicks at the start of a lap and at each turn. Never stop kicking at any point. July 2012

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8 in 10 consumers say they are aware of custom media, either in print or electronically 7 in 10 consumers say they prefer to learn about a company through a collection of articles rather than an ad 8 in 10 consumers say they have seen custom content in print magazines or newsletters; almost half have seen digital magazines & one-third in social media Source: Consumers’ attitudes toward custom content - conducted by Gfk Roper Public Affairs & Corporate Communications. The study was commissioned by the Custom Content Council in March, 2011

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June 2012

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Words: Shruti Gattani, Brigitte Botha, Gord Laws

to Risking arthritis and long-term celibacy, FHM lost years of our lives to gaming. Behold now, the 62 greatest games ever! E NEED TO launch rockets. We must unleash 27-hit combos on our enemies. We have to dribble around four defenders and volley the keeper to win the World Cup for Guatemala. We are slaves to our next digital fix. How did we get this way? Let FHM’s list of history’s greatest video games explain (and outrage you with the ones we missed)… fhmindia.com

TETRIS (1985)

SPACE INVADERS (1978)

Space Invaders’ ability to display high scores was a technological breakthrough! But the frustration of having all that ammo and only firing one shot at a time may have caused anger-management issues.

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More addictive than tik-coated KFC, Tetris was developed by Russian programmer Alex Pajitnov – originally for PC. Now the falling, twisting, impractically-shaped bricks are available on just about every platform, including cellphones. It just goes to show; some of the best designs are the simplest ones. Like G-strings, nipple tassles or stripper poles, to name a few. July 2012

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BURGER TIME (1982) We’re convinced early Eighties drugs were better than they are now. How else do you explain a tiny chef being chased across burger bits by baddies named “Mr Pickle”, “Mr Egg” and “Mr Hot Dog”, only with a limited number of pepper-shakers to defend himself? Seems self-explanatory. We rest our case, Your Honour.

DONKEYKONG (1981)

PAC-MAN (1980) Basically a tiny US kid in a maze, Pac-Man’s goal was to eat all the dots before succumbing to the unshakable ghosts (read: death). Strangely prophetic, when you think about it… Namco sold three hun­dred thousand units of Pac­-Man worldwide in its debut year. Corner cafés everywhere would never be the same again!

Introduced the greatest plumber since the one who found the dead pigeon causing the hone in the office bog! Mario’s aim: to collect purses and rescue Lady Pauline from the clutches of an enormous gorilla (bad-tempered on account of not getting a cool name like big brother King, we reckon). Sparked lank sequels, but most were crap.

MARIO BROS. (1983) In the city sewers, nasty “ooze” mutates animals (sound familiar, Ninja Turtle fans?). Mario and Luigi work the sewers – being plumbers and all. They hit each enemy from underneath and then kick it to its fate. If they don’t, it’ll flip back over and speed up. One of the oldest games, yet preferred over a plethora of new age crap.

SONIC THE HEDGEHOG (1991)

BUBBLE BOBBLE (1986)

STREET FIGHTER (1987)

Vastly less scary than (and no doubt mercilessly picked on by) conventional dragons, Bub and Bob, the bubble dragons have to encase foes in bubbles and then pop them – or else the baddies emerge even angrier and more lethal. Epic fun, and a pretty nice self-esteem builder for some of those gay kids, too!

Now a gaming institution (and sadly a vomitus Van Damme flick), this game sparked off a new genre – moering people! Back when 20 cent pieces could actually buy, er...something, we poured them into arcade machines untill they burst! Violently klapping people with no risk of retaliation? Brilliant! Technology ruled!

TEKKEN (1995) Possibly the greatest 3D beat-’em-up of all time, Tekken 3 set the moering-okes-game benchmark. Gloriously, you could execute spectacular 29-hit combos by whacking your controller’s buttons as fast as possible, especially with that doos of a character “Eddie” (banned at FHM’s pad, back in the day). We officially blame our shit varsity results on this game. Okay... girls, booze and hangovers might have played a role.

Bleep! Bloop! Table Tennis/Tennis For Two (1958) The first video game ever was invented by William Higinbotham (yup, really) at the Brookhaven National Library in Upton, New York. Played on an oscilloscope, it was meant to entertain visitors to

LEGEND OF ZELDA (1987) We’re not into having to think when gaming, but we made an exception for Zelda. It introduced role-playing adventures mixed with clues and puzzles. Our hero – Link searches for the bits of the TriForce Of Wisdom, battling evil creatures to enter nine “enchanted caves.” Like, wow dude.

DOOM (1993) First-person shooters, network gaming, 3D graphic environments – all must bow before their father, DOOM! The developers went on to create Quake and DOOM 3. But it was late-night DOOM sessions on the old VGA 486, hunting demons with Metallica’s Black album on a CD walkman that first truly scared the nutrition out of us!

Essentially a small blue raver on highquality Ecstasy, Sonic boasted an upright gait and opposable thumbs – and warp speed. Come to think of it, he wasn’t very hedgehoggy at all. No matter – we loved every second of shunting and ringcollecting. He looked so incredible compared to the old 8-bit Nintendo-clone, we couldn’t sleep for want of a Sega Mega Drive!

LEMMINGS (1991) FHM has been faithfully leading these little bastards to safety for 17 years, and now we find out this game’s all based on a lie. The little rodents don’t commit suicide. What crap! Still, it’s fun assigning lemmings – be they miners, diggers or climbers – to rearrange the landscape and save themselves from self-annihilation.

Old games: crap now, but without ’em, nothing great today would be. Here are five classics... the library. Face it, if anyone needed entertaining... Spacewar! (1961) The first interactive computer game was created by Steve Russell, a student

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at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology. Spacewar’s graphics were ASCII text characters. Controls included thrust, fire, rotation and hyperspace. You gotta love that hyperspace!

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RESIDENT EVIL (1996) Zombies! Evil corporations! Way hot babes! Raccoon City was home to the Umbrella Corporation. Their ruthless profiteering turned the townsfolk into undead savages; bent on tearing living flesh from bone! All told, it made for a good time. Also resulted in three crap-but-fun-towatch Hollywood movies.

TONY HAWK PRO SKATER (1999) There’ve been so many sequels in Hawk’s money-spinning franchise – we’ve lost count. But when THPS first bust a 720-heel­flip-Japan-air-totailslide, we went for it like a teenager who’d just snuck in some beers. Insane stunts with no risk of being messily impaled? Sweet!

DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION (1998) Tea, PS3, harems – just a few gifts from the East. This was another: “we could hit the arcade and look ridiculous while being owned by a nine-year-old girl.” Now on home consoles, it’s a great, if spastic-looking, way to work on that beer gut, without ever having to be too far from the fridge!

Computer Space (1971) Nolan Bushnell and Ted Dabney (later, the foun­ders of Atari) put out the first arcade game ever – pretty much a clone of Spacewar. They distributed fhmindia.com

UNREAL TOURNAMENT (1999) Set up regular networking games with mates? You’ll know two things – you’re single, and this game rules! Killer weapons (we dig the buzz-saw gun, named “The Ripper”), sniper-rifle headshots and mode options like one-shot frags and variable gravity make it first-person shooter heaven!

1500 machines, but the public found it too difficult to play. Asteroid (1971) Cementing Atari Inc’s Seventies arcade monopoly, Asteroid was the most popular

This had us pooing in our PJ’s long before games like Resident Evil and Silent Hill. We scarred our psyches saving main characters Edward and Emily from zombie slaves and hordes of supernatural enemies. So keep a nervous eye open for Alone In The Dark: Central Park – out later this year!

SIMS (2000) Especially for control-freaks! Trips to the bog, clothes, work – your Sim is yours to control! Create him (or her), find a job, start a family and live a life better than your own! Sims even have their own mindless language – a bit like the ad industry. The options are endless. You can’t win, so you can play forever. Value for money!

A lot like Tekken, except with swords, hotter babes and the ability to side-step in just about any direction! Aside from great graphics, intuitive gameplay and giant, bouncing boobies (so impressive that it’s a shame to

relegate them to “aside from” status…) the real joy of Soulcalibur lies in being able to press buttons randomly and still execute insane combos like a bladdy ninja. Look out for Soulcalibur IV, being released this year, with special characters Yoda and Darth Vader (for PS3 and Xbox respectively)!

game in that crappy-but-addictive heyday. A modern eight-year-old could master it in minutes, but back then this linear 2D space combat left us terrified at having to move, turn and shoot – made even scarier by the harrowing “heartbeat” soundtrack.

Pong (1972) Originally a coin-operated arcade game, Atari’s Pong was based on table tennis. The first game widely played by the public, it spawned the first home console, also by Atari, and then the international video game boom. Take that, Asia!

DOUBLE DRAGON (1987) Back in the halcyon days of the arcade, a duo of identical warriors ruled the streets with a punch, a kick and an array of helpfully placed bats, chains and bottles. Double Dragon’s strength was its simplicity – no matter how many times you moered that same oke on that never-ending landscape, it never got old…

ALONE IN THE DARK (1992)

SOULCALIBUR (1999)

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SSX TRICKY (2001) Ridiculous tricks without breaking every bone in your body! Besides the gay-sounding “über trick”, it was all about filling up the boost bar with “regular”, but still mad, tricks, enabling you to do special moves – and trigger the Run DMC clip It’s Tricky. This old favourite still keeps us at the office late…

GEARS OF WAR (2006) The soldiers of Delta Squad must wipe out a subterranean enemy – the Locust Horde. They use a

“resonator” to map the Locust’s underground tunnels, and then deploy “Lightmass Bombs” to eradicate them from the planet Sera. However, the Horde are

heavily armed so it was easier said than done! The game featured a killer multiplayer function, and a really cheesy theme tune from Eighties doos-metal band, Megadeth!

It’s in the

game! HALO (2001) It spawned the geek-phenomenon “Halo Nation” – a scary name for a posse of virginal fan-boys. They worship the Master Chief; cyborg super-soldier saving earth from the Covenant (genocidal baddies trying to wipe out human colonies all over the universe) in the year 2553. Massive arse-kicking in the name of all that is good!

BURNOUT 2 (2002) Racing games have multiplied like Mormons, but let’s face it; speed’s more fun with homicide sprinkles. Burnout’s awesome graphics and racing paled next to a) a chance to kill rivals in violent, metal-tearing crashes and b) rewards for driving like an Indy 500 mentalist. Battering our way to turbo boost, we got to feel like a taxi driver!

Ace! Your own underworld; one where you could pillage and kill without the pesky real-life concern of unsolicited anal sex from the 28s in Polls­moor! Our favourite element? The soundtrack and awesome radio stations! Crime and speed – what can top it?

JAK + DAXTER (2001)

GUITAR HERO (2006) A gaming hit so infectious, so packed full of meaty rock classics, it should come with a health warning! FHM’s dreams of rock stardom died when we realised we suck at shredding, but we can still rule! We never thought we’d get so good with, or attached to, a plastic guitar. Next time a ukelele-toting crusty asks if you play an instrument, nod arrogantly and tune, “Ja, bru. Guitar Hero.”

GTA (GRAND THEFT AUTO) VICE CITY (2002)

PRO EVOLUTION SOCCER (2001) This forced thousands of purists to reassess the greatest-soccer-gameever debate. By the time Pro Evo 3 came out, Fifa Soccer’s decade of dominance was over. Smoother graphics, simpler controls, faster play and ball control so intuitive, you almost dribbled with your thoughts. The king of footy games!

These okes both start off as elves, until a villain throws Daxter into a pit of “Dark Eco”, turning him into an ottsel – an otter/weasel hybrid. The unlikely pair then set off to try to change him back. Many sequels followed – all action-packed and awesome. Buy one for your little nephew, and then usurp it while the sprog wails helplessly!

AGE OF EMPIRES III (2005) Set against the backdrop of an ancient civilisation, the third version of this hit franchise changed the previous setting and included European colonisation of the Americas from 1492 to 1850 AD. In terms of gameplay, it was more innovative and advanced and had graphics that made it clinch plenty of awards. The player could build a massive empire by selecting from eight colonies.

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We’re fat, thanks to EA’s awesome sports games. These five still kick ass! Fifa Soccer (1993)

On our old Mega Drive, we could header goals past the keeper as he drop-kicked. Now that glitch has been remedied and it’s more advanced than Tom Cruise’s insanity – only much cooler.

John Madden Football (1989) This game was customizable in terms of player injuries and fatigue, as well as penalties. No NFL teams were included due to a lack of licensing!

Tiger Woods’ PGA Tour (1998)

This is the one that provided a breakthrough in golf gaming by introducing the “power meter”. Fore!

EA Rugby (1995)

During dark periods between RWC victories, we kept our sanity by crushing All Black souls – or so we dreamed!

NBA Live (1994)

Basketball: crap to play, dull to watch – but a slam-dunk from the couch? Way soothing! FHM

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CALL OF DUTY: black ops (2010) “Dragovich. Kravchenko. Steiner. All must die” – this quote sends you on a trip around the world as Alex Mason. We at FHM love to don his suit and perform the cool stunts he’s laden with as a foot soldier. The game series is undoubtedly one of the best. In fact, the Black Ops version is considered the bestselling video game till date. It takes you on special missions revolving around a chemical

DEAD SPACE 2 (2011) This one is set three years after the original and takes Isaac Clarke to Sprawl – a space city where he is pitted against Necromorphs. Our favourite part – the gruesome combat and mean machines used to kill off the enemies. Not to forget, we finally have a voice. Oh yes, Clarke can now talk and abuse any goddammit person.

Driver: San Francisco (2011) From sport cars to muscle cars, as John Tanner, the player gets full access to these damageable cars and can drive on any of the 208 miles of roads shown in the game. The coolest feature – with one click you can shift from one car to another while speeding on your Aston Martin. Now that’s what we call a fun ride!

weapon codenamed ‘Nova-6’. Set during the Cold War between 1961-1968, you start off in Cuba. However, you start gunning down your main enemies in 1963. The end takes you to the Vietnam War in 1968. With a plethora of positive reviews, it did get involved in a controversy too, but that aside it had record-breaking sales in the UK and US within 24 hours of its release.

Deus Ex – Human Revolution (2011) Thanks to the cheat code, there are four endings with girls dancing in each. Sounds like fun, right? Well, the game surely is, especially with all the advanced fights. Adam Jensen – the main dude fights the private corporations’ greedy bastards who’ve ousted the National Agencies and are creating a ruckus everywhere.

DiRT 3 (2011) Rallying monstrous cars and earning points to get better vehicles at different levels is your sole aim. The gameplay forces you to get into the skin of the character and go zip-zap-zoom. Honestly, you may be scared to go that fast in the labyrinth lanes of Mumbai, but experiencing the adrenaline rush of a rally driver here is mind-blowing.

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You don the role of Nathan Drake who is all set to find the whereabouts of Marco Polo’s missing ships and passengers. Laden with gruesome moves, and deadly arms and ammunitions apart from slick looks and an amazing voice, Drake appears to be as realistic as humans. Critics claimed it to be one of the best video games!

Fight Night Champion (2011) With bloodshed and broken jaws, this one is certainly not for the faint hearted. The fifth one in the game series, it’s grittier and meaner than previous versions. As André Bishop, you’ll be thrown in the ring opposite brutal boxers who can beat the crap out of you. Also, the graphics and superb presentation makes it quite grisly.

Fallout: New Vegas (2010) Apart from beating goons, you have so many dialogues that it seems like you are playing the role of G.One minus the shiny blue-coloured suit. Set in the year 2281, the main hero is The Courier who is searching for Benny – the villain who had stolen an

New games out now! max payne 3 In this third installment, you are an undercover cop who is trying to track downNYC’s most lethal mafia family. With bullet-time gameplay, this one is different from the previous versions and starts a new chapter for Max Payne.

uncharted 2: among thieves (2009)

important package from him in the beginning of the game. Sometimes brutal, sometimes gaudy, sometimes ostentatious – New Vegas is out and out entertaining and will hook you up for hours and make you overlook the few minor grips.

Three of the most interesting games of 2012 that have a lot of action, blood and light-hearted fun

Madagascar 3 – Europe’s Most Wanted The game that released along with the movie, allows you to experience the unlimited mad fun by donning the role of

their favourite characters. You travel through the multiple European cities like Rome or Paris and pass your time by attending parties, doing adventure and getting involved in fights as well.

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tom clancy’s ghost recon: future soldier Join the team of highly trained special-ops soldiers, who are armed with unmatched combat technology and machines. Your aim: Travel to the war-prone areas to hunt down the biggest enemies. July 2012

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Gears of War 3 (2011)

This one is the highest selling version in the entire series. You play the role of Marcus Fenix – a tough guy who is out on a mission with his equally powerful comrades. There are big, nasty guns that are not supposed to be handled by kids. Also, the new tactics and settings unleashed in this version make Gears of War 3 so much more interesting.

INFAMOUS 2 (2011) As Cole, your aim is to save New Marais and defeat Beast. You are already gifted with killer powers including those of manipulating electricity, but as the game proceeds, you grow even stronger. Though there were lesser tougher decisionmaking calls in this one, the game still gained points thanks to its playtime and battles.

Prince of Persia (1989)

With just four arrow keys, cntrl, shift and alt keys we managed to beat skeletons, drink muscle-building liquid and jump walls, in order to find our princess. Icing on the cake: The cheat code. Crack the numbers and voila, you’re some ten levels ahead. Back then and in the absence of fancy gizmos, this one kept us glued to our bulky monitors for hours.

Is it ever possible to have a best video games list without GTA? Hell no! Keeping the controversies aside,

GTA IV is pegged as the best version in the series and the second best video game of all time. If you thought crashing cars and killing people was your only agenda, then

L.A. Noire (2011)

MotorStorm Apocalypse (2011)

Grand Theft Auto IV (2008)

Donning a detective’s cap, you roam the streets of LA in 1947. With scenes taken from films of the 40s, it’s laden with crime and sex. As a part of the LAPD you have to solve 22 gruelling cases. This game featured recordings by real-life actors including protagonist Cole Phelps’ character, which is played by Aaron Staton of Mad Men fame.

This 3D racing game can get even more destructive than you’d expect. Donning either of the three racers role, you not only come across dangerous events in the two-day competition, but witness earthquakes, helicopters crashing and buildings falling around you. The style of handling vehicles makes this one a must try.

Red Dead Redemption (2010)

The game is set in 1911, when the cowboy era is coming to an end. As John Marston, the player is hired by the US government and sent to take part in battles and bounty hunting. In short, you are supposed to maintain the state’s law and order. The game received immense praise from critics and players for its graphics, presentation, and soundtrack.

Picked from Greek mythology, as Kratos, the God of War, you decide to explore the disturbing past that has been haunting you. Just like the Spartans, with your deadly Blades of Chaos, you fight mythological monsters and undead soldiers that appear on merciless landscapes during your quest. Honestly, this one’s quite a bloody affair and reminds you of the film 300.

Resistance 3 (2011)

As the Geralt of Rivia, you are a witcher with long blonde hair and kick-ass combat moves and you have to kill deadly monsters along with other witchers. The stellar storytelling and style of combat make this sequel to The Witcher pretty awesome. It not only got an A-star from us, but also received a plethora of awards.

July 2012

God of War: Ghost of Sparta (2011)

Violence is the core ingredient of this game and the aliens (ripped off from Hollywood’s favourite theme) are your biggest enemy. Sounds fun? Well, be prepared for lots of blood and slaughter because no one can stop our hero – Joseph Capelli from saving the earth from these idiots.

The Witcher 2: Assassins of Kings (2011)

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hold on because this one has five extremely hot girls hidden somewhere in the game. The deadly combo of crime, underworld, cars and girls took the rating of this one up by two notches.

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Gran Turismo 5 (2010) Lay your hands on the steering of Bugatti, Lamborghini, Mercedes and Ferrari amongst others to drive on 71 tracks that promise to leave dents on your priceless models. This one is unlimited fun and does not get you a ticket for speeding. What really captures your imagination is the sound of the cars when their engines start running. Need for speed! fhmindia.com


You came, you voted, we counted. There were those who sat with their trousers around their ankles bitching that this was a fixed match. How could a woman be voted on top of a 100 Sexiest list four times in the five glorious years that we in India have been making the list!!?? The answer came in the form of her cover picture. We don’t need to say anything else. You voted in your hundreds of thousands this year and the result is a eye-popping list of lady-awesomeness. But it hasn’t all been fun and games either. You’ve also been ruthless. For the first time in history – Aishwarya Rai has failed to make any list. You’ve also bumped off new mommy Lara Dutta, the boob-flashing and trouser-shedding Madonna, the hottie housewife Eva Langoria, and even the beef dress wearing all round madcap Lady Gaga. For more pictures of the ladies visit fhmindia.com

Pictures: 100-94 Marie Claire. 93-87 Peacocks, Complex. 86-80 Mario Testino. 69-64 Allure, Nouveau. 63-57 Marie Claire, Patrick Fraser, Glamour, Cheryl Cole Calendar 2011. 56-52 Jatin Kampani. 51-46 Sidharth Lalchandani. 45-41 Rohan Shrestha, Pamela Hanson. 39-34 Ocean Drive. 33-28 Marc Hom, R Burman. 27-26 R Burman, Vishal Saxena. 25-21 Avinash Gowariker, Dabboo Ratnani. 20-15 Marie Claire, Passionata Collection, Prasad Naik. 14-08 Suresh Natarajan, Rohan Shrestha, New Look Lingerie. 05 Rohan Shrestha. 01 Prasad Naik.

The nation has spoken...

words Shruti gattani with inputs from jess commons, pat gilbert, jim howard, emily mcbean Design Lokesh Mishra

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ready to roll!

asin

NEW ENTRY

She is the second actress after Kareena Kapoor who falls in the 100 crore club. Her three films have been blockbusters, but we guess, it was her last flick – Housefull 2 that forced you all to pick her for the first time. She looked leaner and sexier. Good news is she is still hunting for a good man and that ought to make her bounce to a better position next year.

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ALL THE BREAST... ERR... BEST!

I am back

Neetu chandra RE-ENTRY Her acting career may have oscillated in Bollywood, but she still makes it to our list because you all still haven’t got past her lesbian photoshoot. Just FYI, she is a black belt holder in Taekwondo and was crazy enough to jump off from her bf’s moving bike to show how much she loved him. Now don’t we love such daring girls!

Rozlyn Khan

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BETTER THAN YOUR EX

NEW ENTRY The 23-yearold last came into the limelight when she stripped for Dhoni. It’s not just in pictures that she unwraps herself, but she is a seductress even while talking. Remember what she said to FHM when we asked her about health supplements? “Too much protein shake means shaky erection.” Now that’s quite a in-the-face babe!

Anusha Dandekar

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IT’S THE MAXIMUM!

hazel keech

NEW ENTRY After her stint in Bodyguard, she went underground for a while. Good news: She is back with a bang doing a raunchy item number in Maximum. Bad news: You will never see her in a bikini. “I was introduced to Bollywood by my nani, so I’d like to make films that would make her and mum proud,” Hazel told FHM in an interview. Never mind, we still adore this teetotaler – that’s also something she told us.

NEW ENTRY This glam doll finally made it to our list for the very first time. Her international single Better Than Your Ex debuted recently to rave reviews, so apart from looking supercute, she can sing too guys. But then, you already know that, which is why you chose her!

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COUNTRY AND WESTERN ANGEL

TAYLOR SWIFT

LAST YEAR 97

In America, they have something called Country and Western. It’s rubbish and we don’t have it here, but it has given us the gloriously beautiful Taylor Swift. She’s rich, famous and sexy, and she looks like a mermaid we’d run the risk of horrible fish diseases for.

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FROM O.C. TO O.M.F.G.

Olivia Wilde

LAST YEAR 11 It’s now eight years since a 20-year-old Olivia first appeared on our collective radars, playing the comely lesbian lover of Mischa Barton in The O.C. While countless starlets have briefly bloomed and unceremoniously vanished from view during that time, the Irish-American’s career has been on a steady upward trajectory – much like our never-ending yearning for her… July 2012

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LOWE PROFILE

Daisy Lowe

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THE SEXIEST BELIEBER

selena gomez

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Sophie Chaudhary NEW ENTRY Once upon a time, she was the hottest VJ we had who could sing as well, but nowadays, she is the socialite who is seen tick-tocking in heels and cutesy dresses in every tinsel town bash. Guess it’s just her presence that still makes you guys go gaga over her.

NEW ENTRY There are lots of reasons to want to drop a piano on Justin Bieber, but chief among them is his relationship with Selena Gomez. She’s a pop star, an actress and a philanthropist, which is what we’re sure you’ll be thinking when she steams up a hot tub in the new film, Spring Breakers.

NEW ENTRY “I think women are really hot,” says 23-year-old Daisy. “I’m pretty much a mild lesbian.” Well, we’re pretty much mild lesbians as well, and we know sexy when we see it. And even though she says she’s a bit ‘on the other bus’, that didn’t stop her from dating Doctor Who’s – Matt Smith, so there’s hope for us all.

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ALAKAZAM!

emma watson

LAST YEAR 23 It feels like Emma has been around forever – even though she only became sexy the day she turned 18, obviously. Post-Potter, she’s been gorgeous in My Week With Marilyn and modelled for Burberry. We’ll always love a fit woman who supports the Wild Trout Trust.

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SAY CHEESE!

alison brie

NEW ENTRY She is the (non-cheese) ingredient that makes Mad Men and Community two of the sexiest shows on TV. This is her first – though not the last – visit to the land of the 100 Sexiest. Hilarious one moment, smouldering hot the next, she was most recently spotted being effortlessly sexy in the disappointing rom-com, The Five-Year Engagement.

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CROUCH’S TIGER

Abbey Clancy NEW ENTRY Flawless sex-rocket Abbey Clancy has been up and down FHM UK’s list of the sexiest women more times than Tom Daley’s climbed a ladder, but she has made an entry in our list for the first time. Talking of ladders: when not modelling or presenting, Clancy requires one to kiss her husband, football giraffe Peter Crouch. He is one lucky giant. 40

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THE ONLY FOX WITH FIRE

megan fox

LAST YEAR 12 You have to be sensationally gorgeous to make our most coveted list three years running without much work to show for it, and though she’s slipped a little since last year, Megan is still mixing it with the big guns – she’s a bona fide Hollywood sex symbol of our times. She may have had a run of bad luck when it comes to box-office winners, but with promising roles in The Dictator – Sacha Baron Cohen’s latest chuckle-fest and This Is Forty – the can’t-miss newie from comedy super producer Judd Apatow, it looks like Fox’s career will be un-wonkying itself soon.

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IN FULL BLOOM

miranda kerr LAST YEAR 46

Impossibly beautiful Australian model Miranda dropped several notches this year thanks to her marriage, but thanks to legs the likes of which we’ve never seen and dimples we want to jab our noses into, she is still present here. She’s a Buddhist, which means that though she’s married to Orlando Bloom in this life, she will have another life, in which she’ll surely marry us.

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KKR’S SEXY MASCOT

Shamone Jardim

NEW ENTRY Jacques Kallis’ girlfriend created a stir in the media equal in hype to the other controversies of the IPL. Amidst all the hoopla surrounding KKR, the bikini model didn’t go unnoticed. In fact. she uplifted the WAGs camp to a great extent. You picked her and boy are we happy with your decision. Hell yeah!

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DISNEY-GIRL GONE WILD

Vanessa Hudgens

THE NEWEST YUMMY MUMMY

Shilpa Shetty

RE-ENTRY Another celebrity making a re-entry is Rajasthan Royals co-owner. Seems like you guys didn’t get affected with the fact that she just delivered a baby. And why would you? She still manages to look so stunning. Way to go new mommy!

LAST YEAR 85 Disney often seems like some kind of goodgirl-gone-bad factory, churning out wholesome poppets who then grow up and dramatically shed their squeaky-clean images for something altogether muckier. Unlike Spears, Lohan or Aguilera, however, Hudgens seems to have pulled herself back from the brink of full-blown filthiness, which makes us feel both happy and a teensy bit let down.

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MORE THAN FRIENDS?

Jennifer Aniston

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TOO SEXY FOR SHARKS

jessica alba

LAST YEAR 14 She might

have plunged from last year’s number 14 spot, but that’s only because Jessica’s been busier off-screen – with kids etc. However, she still looks heart-achingly hot. One of our favourite things about Jessica is the fact that she campaigns to halt dwindling numbers of great white sharks. We’d hug one if it meant she’d notice us. fhmindia.com

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NICE BRAZILIAN (NOT THAT TYPE)

adriana lima

RE-ENTRY Jenny didn’t make the list last year. Our Hollywood spies inform us that she was so upset that she spent the next 12 months practising being sexy – and look, it worked! Good work, Jen. Carry on being the woman who, in reality, we all want to marry some day. Also, make some more Friends. It helps our hangovers.

LAST YEAR 24 If you were once voted Brazil’s best supermodel, then you are probably otherworldly hot. Last year’s 24, Adriana has modelled for everyone and everything, most notably Victoria’s Secret. She’s married to Serbian basketball player Marko Jaric. He’s 6ft 7in. And we promise that if you start on him, we’ll back you up. July 2012

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MUNNKEY SEE, MUNNKEY DO

olivia munn NEW ENTRY

A regular on top US comedy-news vehicle The Daily Show, Olivia Munn – as smart as she is gorgeous – has fans in high places. Chief among them is Robert Downey Jr, a man who knows his sexay laydeez. He made the entire crew give her a round of applause when she filmed Iron Man 2 with him. That’s right: he gave her the clap.

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COMING OF AGE!

Karisma KapOOr LAST YEAR 84 With her hubby keen on marrying another ‘Miss’, this yummy mummy has decided to move on by acting in more films even after her comeback in Bollywood was a debacle. But then did that hamper her sweet girl persona? It doesn’t look like that. She’s still got her mojo and flashes of her kissing scene from Raja Hindustani still linger on in your and our minds.

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THE CLASSIEST OF THE LOT

Sonali Bendre NEW ENTRY

Never mind that Riteish Deshmukh may replace her in India’s Got Talent, she is one of the few actresses who has your votes even after getting married. She dresses impeccably, looks classy and will always be the Humma Humma girl. 44

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75

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winner of the sexy oscar

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mila kunis

the rear of the year

Pippa Middleton

NEW ENTRY K-Middy’s little sis caused a right royal stir at last year’s big wedding. That slinky saunter up the red carpet made her perfectly sculpted bum the most lusted-after behind since Kylie went rollerskating in glittery hotpants. Yet crazily, she’s apparently still single. Best make your move now, lest some Duke, Viscount, Baron or Marquis sweep her off her feet…

LAST YEAR 50 Kunis

lovely jubilee

kate middleton

is sensationally hot, sensationally funny (she’s the voice of Meg in Family Guy), harder than us (she’s trained in guns, boxing and martial arts), the flawless face of Christian Dior and more than happy to date normal blokes – she enjoyed a night out with a marine last year after he propositioned her via YouTube. If she didn’t exist, we’d have to invent her.

LAST YEAR 56

Finally, a royal who it’s possible to think about without your nuts withering away... Kate has fallen many places since last year, despite getting even sexier. Blame it on the man – her husband who appears to be slowly turning into a horse. Will the palace let her do an FHM shoot? Oh, go on, y’Majesty…

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PRETTY GOOD!

Preity Zinta

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RGV’S LATEST

Nathalia Kaur NEW ENTRY

Ever since Miss Kaur’s raunchy item number Dan Dan aired, she has become many Indian men’s fantasy girl, which includes you all. You guys selected her and she’s here. What we love is the fact that she made it clear that Ramu is not her godfather. Thank god! Else soon she would have also disappeared like his previous heroines.

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July 2012

RE-ENTRY Well, last year she could not manage to woo you dudes, but this year you gave in to her dimples. This babe may have been missing from the silver screen for a few years now, but she always managed to be in the tabloids, especially for her PDAs with Yuvraj Singh. She will soon be seen in her home production releasing this September and we hope she comes back with a bang!

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finally fit

Zarine Khan NEW ENTRY

Gone are the days when people thought she was a Kat look-alike. She may not be the typical lean-cum-sexy actress we are used to, but she charmed everyone with her role in Housefull 2. However, we know she’s here in the list mainly because of her song Character Dheela. Got to agree with you boys, she did look hot in that one! fhmindia.com


FIT AS A FIDDLE, RICH AS A SHEIK

Paris Hilton RE-ENTRY

It’s straight back into the 100 Sexiest for the world’s most famous heiress – thanks to an ultra-brilliant sexcretary-themed cover shoot for FHM UK’s February issue. Though currently single, she’s interested in Brit blokes these days. “I think British guys are really hot,” she claims. Although, to be fair, she says that about a lot of things…

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jay-z: jammy swine

Beyoncé

LAST YEAR 36 Just because she delivered a baby, you guys dropped her down by thirty-three places. Well, mother Earth’s hottest mama, Beyoncé isn’t about to swap being sexy and superfly for a life of nappies and naptimes. She’s just played a series of huge comeback shows in the US, and will soon start filming opposite Tom Cruise in a remake of the classic musical – A Star Is Born.

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heart-achybreaker

Miley Cyrus

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in with a bang

Kaley Cuoco NEW ENTRY One of the most well known faces (and bodies) on US television, Kaley plays ditzy Penny in the nerdfest, The Big Bang Theory. Unfortunately, it’s essentially a show about a load of bumbling quasi-virgins, so the chances of her getting her kit off are limited.

LAST YEAR 71 If you’re hoping to woo lush-lipped Miley with some daffodils, a box of Aldi toffees and a two-for-one pizza vouchers, be forewarned: according to Forbes magazine, Cyrus is America’s second-highest earning teen celeb, raking in close to $50m a year from her simultaneous acting and singing careers. So do you know how to rob a bank?

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She rock’s bad-ass

Taylor Momsen

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NEW ENTRY At the turn of the millennium, recent FHM UK cover star Taylor was the poppetfaced star of family flick Spy Kids 2; in 2012, she’s the lingerierocking lead singer of rawk band – The Pretty Reckless. She looks like she’d destroy you at poker and drink you under the table, and that’s why we – and you lot – love her.

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the queen of aces

Maria Sharapova

she’s no bait

Sania Mirza

LAST YEAR 37 After winning the French Open, this 6 feet 2 inches beauty is all set for the Wimbledon. “I’m certainly very happy with what I have achieved, but that doesn’t make me less eager to want to achieve more,” says Sharapova. Absolutely! And we don’t settle for less either. She may be all about aces, forehands, loud grunts and long-endless legs, but more importantly she is a champ and the World No 1.

RE-ENTRY In sports, she is the queen of controversies, but that aside, she is undoubtedly a great player who looks hot as well. Her last win at the French Open upped her mixed doubles ranking and added another grand slam to her kitty. She may not be India’s answer to Sharapova, but she has all the potential to win a gold at the Olympics. fhmindia.com

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the ultimate comeback

britney spears

RE-ENTRY Britney has oscillated between ‘saucy pop princess’ and ‘wonky famecasualty’ – sometimes she’s been both at the same time. But after steadying the ship a bit and, erm, having a wash, she’s back on top of her game once more. Since Cowell is rumoured to be lining her up as an X Factor judge in UK, could 2013 be the year of Spears? 50

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can we get the bilson please?

Rachel Bilson

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NEW ENTRY The O.C. was about rich people having sex on giant piles of money. And we were fine with that because it gave us the exquisite Rachel Bilson. The O.C. may have gone kaput, but Bilson will soon return in a new show that is basically identical: Hart Of Dixie. Hopefully, it too will involve similar amounts of lookingtanned-in-a-bikini scenes.

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the cattiest of them all!

anne hathaway

LAST YEAR 69 Even after her pathetic performance co-hosting the Oscars, she is in a better position than last year. Okay, let’s admit it, we all know why. She is the new Catwoman who is looking extremely hot in her leather suit driving mean machines in The Dark Knight Rises. Add to this the fact that she has a thing for bad boys and we have a winner!

still, technically, from the block

Jennifer Lopez

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NEW ENTRY Just when you thought J.Lo’s celebrated derrière had disappeared off the FHM radar, she storms back again. And with good reason: she’s a bona fide legend of sexy. It’s just a shame that her new job as a judge on American Idol involves so much sitting down.

will suck for blood

Kristen Stewart

LAST YEAR 62 She doesn’t smile much, but neither would you if your boyfriend was a bitey fucker with a face like a cliff. Pale, pale Kristen is devastatingly saucy in a slightly scary, starry kinda way. We also liked her gumption in Snow White And The Huntsman.

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british queen of pop

Cheryl Cole

no longer, A slumdog!

Freida Pinto

LAST YEAR 48 The ‘World’s Fittest’ Cheryl is the perfect sex symbol for the modern urban man – a quite confused modern urban man who looks at pictures like these and asks himself, “What the hell was Ashley Cole thinking?” Rumour has it that there will be a Girls Aloud reunion tour very soon, plus Chez-Co has another solo record all ready to roll. We will always love you, Cheryl and will never forget.

LAST YEAR 55 The fact that she is seen more often in Hollywood than here doesn’t impress you at all. No wonder then that even after trailers of her lovemaking scenes in her recent film Trishna did the rounds, she still went down a few places this year. We are sure once the movie hits theatres here, she’ll be on her way up next year. fhmindia.com

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the latest from the land of the brits

amy jackson

NEW ENTRY There were only two things remarkable about her opening inning in Bollywood, Prateik starrer Ek Deewana Tha – A.R. Rahman’s music and the fact that she rocked a sexy sari. Though Bollywood filmmakers are not upbeat about walking up to her with yet another role, the British model is being cajoled by Southern cinema. She’s currently shooting for Thaandavam with Southern superstar Vikram. When quizzed about whether she’s in love or not, she once said, “yes”.

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M.I.A.!

CURSE YOU, RONALDO

Irina Shayk

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now in 3D!

esha gupta NEW ENTRY We were so bowled over by Esha’s sultry looks that we didn’t mind watching yet another Emraan Hashmi crap fest – Jannat 2. While Miss Gupta did a pretty good job at being a showpiece in the film and her sex appeal was well served by the Bhatt’s, we want to see more of her. Our wait will end with Raaz 3D and Prakash Jha’s Chakravyuh.

NEW ENTRY Irina is the exquisitely beautiful Russian swimwear model often seen on the arm of Cristiano Ronaldo. And even though we are blaming him for stealing yet another hottie, she still remains a figure of our fantasies because of: A) everything about her and B) her claim that her dog is the offspring of the dog from Marley & Me. That’s proper claim-to-fame business right there.

aish wa rya r ai bachchan The hands-on mother showed us how you can look like a stunner even with extra kilos at Cannes.

lady gaga Call us weirdos, but we believe there is something sensational about this singer, even when she poses in a meat dress.

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IF CURVES COULD KILL

Christina Hendricks

LAST YEAR 43 Voluptuous, sassy… hell, we wouldn’t know where to begin if we got hold of Christina, but that is by no means a bad problem to have. The star of Mad Men took her sexy-ometer to new levels when she turned up alongside housewives’ favourite Ryan Gosling in ultra-cool heist flick Drive, cementing her place on the list.

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madonna She made a valiant attempt at a comeback – what with all the breast baring and all that. Too bad our polling had already closed by then.

ROMANIAN POP NYMPH

Alexandra Stan

NEW ENTRY Another newcomer to the chart, Romanian Alexandra rose to fame when her single Mr Saxobeat unexpectedly hit the top five in over 20 countries. Sexy, energetic and seemingly unstoppable, we consider Alexandra as being Romania’s payback for The Beatles. fhmindia.com

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la r a d u tta B h u patti She’s the rare combo – beauty with brains and was last seen in Don 2. Need we say more...

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FHM’S BIKINI BABE

archana vijaya

LAST YEAR 74 She is another reason to love cricket, especially the IPL. The sexy diva is up several places this year and you know why… because she wooed you boys with her bikini shoot in FHM and is charming you with her dance moves in Jhalak Dikhla Jaa. Need more reasons to love her? She is a video games-buff and happily challenges us for a game. “I love God of Wars, Tekken, cricket and tennis. I love to beat the crap out of boys in them – cheap thrills,” she teases. Challenge accepted! 54

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48

NEW ENTRY She not only looked good, but also delivered a power-packed performance in Ishaqzaade. When someone asked her about her loud behaviour, she unapologetically said, “I’d rather be myself instead of filling a preconceived notion of what actresses should be like.”

NEW ENTRY This Playboy centre-spread hottie may have gone unnoticed in her first flick Azaan opposite Sachiin Joshi, but she still made it here. Because her superhot bikini shoots for umpteen magazines including FHM forced you to download her and vote for her.

ALL NATURAL!

Parineeti Chopra

50

THE SEXY CENTRE-SPREAD

Candice Boucher

LEANER AND FITTER

saina nehwal

LAST YEAR 15 All eyes will be set on her when she goes out to play at the Olympics 2012. She’s now sporting a leaner look after losing a few kilos. When we chatted with her about her weight loss, she said, “I had to leave everything to lose weight, but I missed eating paranthas.”

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PLAYING SAIF!

diana penty

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STRIPTEASE!

Poonam Pandey NEW ENTRY She is the official strip queen of the country and that’s why we like her. She doesn’t need a reason to strip because maybe clothes were not made for her. Even when it comes to sex, she is quite open about it. The last time we talked to her about her intimate moments, she said, “If people do it to relax, maybe they are not doing it right.” fhmindia.com

NEW ENTRY We all know why this leggychica is in this list. She is pretty pretty and has great legs and not to forget, she is hopefully talented too. This model turned actress has made all of us dance to her moves in Tumhi Ho Bandhu and is totally giving Deepika a run for her money in the upcoming Cocktail.

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THE HOTTEST SIDE-KICK

Neha Dhupia LAST YEAR 49 Her sexy Lokpal Bill ganji on the cover of FHM set hearts on fire. That sexy pout and her seductively biting the horn-rimmed spectacles is why she’s in the top 50. “You know this is the most I have ever exposed since my debut,” she laughs. She’s not only hot, but also experiments with her films (Phas Gaye Re Obama) and takes a keen interest in politics. “As far as I’m concerned, what’s the harm in bringing everyone under the Lokpal Bill?” – something she voiced out in our interview. 56

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A NEW LAST NAME

Genelia D’Souza

LAST YEAR 54 Her marriage didn’t reduce your love at all. In fact, surprisingly she managed to fare better this year. “I kept hearing from people that things change so much post marriage, but it’s the same good life, but now with a husband,” she quoted. You ignored the last bit and so did we! That apart, we still love this bubbly, chirpy girl.

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WICKED WIFE

Mahie Gill NEW ENTRY This Punjabi kudi’s claim to fame was Dev.D, but that was a while back. She went on to appear in Dabangg, Saheb Biwi Aur Gangster and Paan Singh Tomar. Yet to-be-seen in a sizzling avatar, she has still won your hearts with her simplicity.

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THE CUTER NAWAB

Soha Ali Khan

LAST YEAR 87 Post her shoot with us, which was so hot, you couldn’t think of Little Miss Khan in a salwar kameez from Rang De Basanti anymore. What we really like about her is that she thinks like us. “Long distance never works. Every weekend in college someone would be sitting in the dorm with a bottle of vodka nursing a broken heart,” says the cuter Nawab.

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MAD (WO)MEN

January Jones LAST YEAR 11 January is a level of classy we’ll never reach, even if we put on a top hat. We loved her in Mad Men. We loved her in X Men: First Class. We loved her in Unknown. We really loved her when she came into our bedroom and let her hair tumble over her naked shoulders… Oh, wait – that wasn’t real. fhmindia.com

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DOTTED...

minissha lamba LAST YEAR 83 Like a few others, she too has jumped many positions this year. She kept a low profile last year appearing in only two films – Bheja Fry 2 and Well Done Abba. Nonetheless, we still managed to score a pic of her in polka-dotted underwear, which is good enough to make her appear in the list next year too. What’s more – she is still single.

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Times Are A-Changin’

2 Y e a r s Ag o

01 Deepika Padukone 02 Katrina Kaif 03 Priyanka Chopra 04 Kareena Kapoor 05 Marissa Miller 06 Bipasha Vasu 07 Lara Dutta 08 Angelina Jolie 09 Megan Fox 10 Neha Dhupia 11 Aishwarya Rai 12 Kim Kardashian 13 Nicole Scherzinger 14 Tamara Moss 15 Sonam Kapoor

l ast year

01 Katrina Kaif 02 Deepika Padukone 03 Kareena Kapoor 04 Vidya Balan 05 Rosie HuntingtonWhiteley 06 Sonakshi Sinha 07 Priyanka Chopra 08 Aishwarya Rai 09 Mallika Sherawat 10 Anushka Sharma 11 Olivia Wilde 12 Megan Fox 13 Nicole Scherzinger 14 Jessica Alba 15 Saina Nehwal

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THE IPL BABE!

shibani dandekar NEW ENTRY She won a few more hearts this IPL and beat her co-host in our list. We’re not saying that, your votes show it. Her marks may not be the highest in Jhalak Dikhla Jaa, but her sexy moves are more than enough to get her votes. Did we forget to tell you she sings and is single too? “I am single and I have a feeling that after people listen to my songs, I’m going to remain single for a while,” she says. This line, ought to get her a better place next year, right?

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RIGHT-WINGED

aliaa magda elmahdy

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INSTANT TURN ON!

Natascha McElhone NEW ENTRY Ever since Californication hit the idiot box, we knew Karen van der Beek would instantly become every man’s favourite gal. “I have wanted to act since I was three and that is what I hunger for,” says the 42-year old actress. We’re glad, we have at least one girl who can not only act, but who also looks so amazingly hot even after having three sons in real life.

NEW ENTRY The 16year old Egyptian blogger got your votes for apparent reasons. Her nude pics on her blog defined by her as, “screams against a society of violence, racism, sexism, sexual harassment and hypocrisy” got a million hits by liked-minded people, while got rejected by Islamic followers. Frankly, this girl making it to our 100 Sexiest is a good enough reason to pop the bubbly.

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WHAT’S UP PUSSYCAT

Nicole Scherzinger LAST YEAR 13 As “It’s okay to have curves and to work them,” mused ex-Pussycat Doll Nicole recently, and only an absolute spanner-brained wazzock would disagree with her. Scherzinger has certainly given curvature fans a lot to mull over this year with a string of scorching-hot videos that steamed up tellies and melted minds right across the globe.

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SHE’S GOT SOME CHEEK

Kim Kardashian

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CHOKRI JAWAAN

gauhar khan

LAST YEAR 28 After her marriage to basketball player Kris Humphries lasted just 72 days last year, the multimillionaire socialite famous for her voluminous badonkadonk has wasted no time in getting herself straight back on the dating horse with rumours flying that she and Kanye West are now more than just friends. Do we hear another sex tape in the making?

RE-ENTRY She is hot. She is sultry. And she is called the new-age Helen. She danced to the peppered tunes of Chokra Jawaan and Jhalla Walla looking absolutely scrumptious. No wonder she is placed well inside the 50s. Way to go girl! fhmindia.com

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32

YAMI-YAMI

Yami Gautam

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NEW ENTRY She is the Bengali gal from Vicky Donor. A fun and simple girl, she won a number of hearts through her Bollywood debut, but hold on for this shocker – she is the same girl who also won your mother’s heart in Yeh Pyar Na Hoga Kam. Pat your back since you chose (at least) one girl who your mother will also approve of.

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CHARLIE’S ANGEL

cameron diaz

IMPOSSIBLY SEXY SUPERWOMAN

Rosie Huntington-Whiteley

RE-ENTRY “I grew up with a lot of boys. I probably have a lot of testosterone for a woman,” said Diaz. It was this attitude that forced you guys to get her back on the list after expelling her last year. Her films in the last year – The Green Hornet and What To Expect When You’re Expecting haven’t done wonders, but don’t worry, she will again be seen beating the crap out of some boneheads in the third edition of Charlie’s Angels out soon. Now this what we call a superlative re-entry!

LAST YEAR 05 Clearly the best thing ever to come out of Plymouth, model Rosie had a taste of Hollywood in 2011 after ousting Megan Fox from the Transformers franchise. But with zero film releases since then, our Rosie has plummeted 26 places. Thankfully, she has few big projects rumoured to be in the works for next year, so you can bet your bottom dollar she won’t be out of the list for long.

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ROCK ON!!!!!

Prachi Desai

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BRAD WHO? OH, HIM

Angelina Jolie

LAST YEAR 92 Easily one of the world’s most beautiful women, Jolie jumped several notches up thanks to her leg-show at the Oscars. Sadly, she’s still with Brad Pitt, so our best chance of seeing her naked is to be adopted, or hope that she gets her kit off in her next movie – a dark reworking of the classic, Sleeping Beauty. 62

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NEW ENTRY A long time back she was a bahu in a daily soap, but she shunned that sari to try her hand in the film industry and got double thumbs up for giving stellar performances in Rock On!! and Once Upon a Time in Mumbaai. She is clocked in before Miss Jolie and Miss Whiteley, which proves that it’s not always the hot legs for you boys.

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ROCKSTAR

Shruti HaAsan

LAST YEAR 86 Her small role in Dil To Bacha Hai Ji earned her a place in the top 30. A few more appearances in Hindi films and she’ll be turning the tables for sure. As of now, she hasn’t signed any films here in tinsel town, but what you will definitely see her doing next is strumming a guitar whenever she’s not shooting. Already a pianist and part of the rock band – The Extramentals, Shruti will soon be a guitarist too. We always had our eyes on this rockstar! July 2012

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THE FASHIONISTA

Sonam Kapoor

LAST YEAR 20 She joins the gang of actresses who failed to impress in the last one year leading to her seven-place drop. Her flick Players was a debacle and post that she has only been seen adding glamour to parties and red carpets. She is known for being blunt and thanks to that, she has landed in controversies. Who cares! At least, that’s the one thing that keeps her in the news!

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THE 25-CRORE BEARERS CHEQUE

Veena Malik

NEW ENTRY It’s not rocket science as to why Miss Malik is here. You loved her immensely on FHM’s cover even though hate mails bombarded our accounts and it became more than nationwide news. But then again, whatever she’s done has been marred in more controversy – Her public spat with a Maulvi, the match fixing allegations of her ex-lover Mohd Asif and of course, the issue of her topless pictures online, all made headlines. “You have seen me very closely… Do I look like the girl in those pictures?” No comments, we say! Not to forget, her disappearing act, which just further triggered the hue and cry. fhmindia.com

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24

THE HOTTEST COP

Stana Katic

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THE SEXIEST MOM

Malaika Arora-Khan LAST YEAR 18 This sexy-mom slipped down a few position this year because you guys are morons. So what if the Munni Badnaam Hui phase may have fizzed out and Anarkali Disco Chali may not have created the same amount of noise, she is undoubtedly still the sexiest mother who looks superhot while dancing. “The audiences need to be teased and the more you tease them, the more they want it,” she laughs. Well, hopefully she’ll tease us even more when Dabangg 2 hits the theatres this year-end.

NEW ENTRY She is the hottest criminal catcher. Even in a jacket and denim, holding a gun, handcuffing criminals, she looks oh, so hot. But Beckett is much more heroic than she appears. She was a lesbian in Feast of Love... “As a kisser, I would say Selma (Blair) was very titillating. It was my first time kissing a woman and I had a great time with her. But I reconfirmed to myself that I’m 100 percent heterosexual.” Thank god!

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SEXY SECRETARY

Gwyneth Paltrow

LAST YEAR 95 So what if she was not the chick wearing the black bodysuit in The Avengers and kicking the bad boys, she still managed to make you guys go weak at the knees. No wonder she has jumped a number of places up this year. The good news is that the pretty damsel will appear in the exact same sexy secretary avatar next year too. Chances of her doing even better in 2013 are riding high!

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STRIPPER IN THE MAKING

Salma Hayek

RE-ENTRY We know you guys had an adrenaline rush when stills of her as a stripper in her forthcoming film Americano started floating around. Doing what she does best, this 45-year old actress reappears in the 100 Sexiest ousting the younger ones with her lusciousness. And if that was not enough, she has the guts to knock you dudes out too. “I keep waiting to meet a man who has more balls than I do,” Hayek was quoted saying. 66

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JALEBI BAI...

Mallika Sherawat LAST YEAR 09 India’s hottest jat didn’t do much this year except walking the Cannes 2012 in a nude coloured dress and doing an item number, Laila in Tezz. Oh, also her Hollywood flick Politics of Love, which although went unnoticed can still be mentioned. Is this the reason why you people dropped her several places down? We won’t blame you, but we too are starving for her comeback!

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20

SELF-PORTRAIT

blake lively

LAST YEAR 60 A 40-place jump, you know why... Her naked pictures stormed the web and though she denied that it was her, we know you guys ignored the latter and still hit the like button. Also, her racy makeout scenes in Gossip Girl were some of the most watched videos on YouTube. “It’s the most awkward thing! There’s a room of 40 people watching you, they’re telling you exactly how to move your head, and it’s completely silent. It’s awful,” she says on filming those scenes. It’s a bummer that she’s not single though. Her current boy toy is Ryan Renolds. Damn!

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UBER-SEXY, SHE’S NOW AVAILABLE

katy perry

LAST YEAR 45 She’s single again! Yes, while simultaneously kicking the cack out of all other newbie pop starlets on the charts, Katy got herself divorced from yoga-mop Russell Brand, allowing us to crank up our fantasy machines once again. She’s so famous that she’s getting her very own 3D movie this summer.

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SUPERMODEL SELLS KNICKERS SHOCKER

Bar Refaeli

LAST YEAR 25 She’s one of the world’s hottest models. Since last year, the spookily beautiful Bar has set up her own online designer underwear retailer called Undeez and there’s no official word on whether her on/off relationship with Leonardo DiCaprio is currently ‘on’, but if it isn’t, Leo you’re not getting any thinner.

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THE BONG BOMBSHELL, YET TO BE PURSUED?

bipasha basu

SCARLETT FEVER

Scarlett Johansson

LAST YEAR 31 Unlike last year, she was not in the news for the wrong reasons. She didn’t meet and kiss her ex-bf while shooting her cameo for Race 2, nor did she pay heed to the rumours of link-ups with Rana Daggubati and Shahid Kapoor. The Bong bombshell only focused on looking hot and walking down red carpets in short dresses and bikini blouses. Must say, that totally worked, as she stepped up several notches this year. “Being sexy is about suggestion, it’s about the tease,” Basu quotes. Now that’s something we love!

LAST YEAR 22 Up from last year’s 22, Scarlett remains one of Hollywood’s loveliest ladies. And she’s soon to add ‘laughmeister’ to her CV with the lead role in the Judd Apatow-produced Can A Song Save Your Life?. If we could time travel to any point in history, it’d probably be to Scarlett’s Iron Man 2 audition, which apparently consisted of her performing a series of ‘lunges’. Good lord! 68

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SUPERWOMAN

kangna Ranaut

LAST YEAR 70 Her attempt to keep sprucing up her style with cool haircuts and classier outfits totally bowled you guys this time because she made it within the top 20 this year despite Rascals and Tezz bombing at the box office. She claims to be dating some UK-based doctor, but at the same time voices that she doesn’t believe in marriage. And when she made this clear, reports of her fling with Ajay Devgn too did the rounds. Honestly, we don’t care. All we know is that she is going to essay the role of Superwoman in Krrish 3. Any chances of a leather bodysuit? We hope so!

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14

THE POUT OF THE WORLD

Nargis Fakhri

NEW ENTRY Rumours, rumours and more rumours surround this 33-year old who has been criticised not only for her Hindi, but for her acting as well. But are we worried? Not at all! Her pout and the cherry-kissed lips seen in our April shoot in abundance have created frenzy. “I am sure many people want to kiss these lips,� she laughs. After RK and Shahid, Miss Fakhri is now linked with Ness Wadia. You know she is single, we know she is single and that is a pretty darn good reason for her being in the top 15.

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13

DABANGG GETS ROWDY!

Sonakshi Sinha

LAST YEAR 06 After Dabangg, Miss Sinha gave another 100-crore hit – Rowdy Rathore. You like her in desi avatars, but then again you couldn’t get over her smoldering shoot with us either. You’d be happy hearing she is single and still looking for love, but before you start jumping, let us tell you she is the purani jeans-kind of girl. “Serious relationship”, “No flings”, “True love” and the likes – she told us in her interview. One thing is clear – no old tricks from the book will work on her.

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12

GUILTY AS CHARGED

Jacqueline Fernandez LAST YEAR 53 All of us have to admit to the fact that she has good looks and great legs, which by the way she showed in abundance in both Murder 2 and Housefull 2. And that’s why this hot chick has jumped up so many places this year. Currently, she is getting ready to kick some ass in the sequel of Race. “Oh My God, I love action and am very excited about it..” Not to worry Miss Fernandez, we love action too, and your hard work will surely pay off.

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THE NAUGHTY PROFESSOR

Chitrangada Singh LAST YEAR 44 Two things you can never get over when it comes to this dazzling damsel – Hazaaron Khwaishein Aisi and FHM’s sexy photoshoot (of course). She showed her sexy side in Desi Boyz, but her image in a plain cotton sari still stays in our mind – “It’s not like I’d put on a sari and do a Hazaron… a 1000 times over – If I did then they’d call me repetitive.” True that! 72

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10

THE CONDOM GIRL

sunny leone

NEW ENTRY We know you Googled her, downloaded her pics and watched one of her videos. We know that because you decided her position in our list before she featured in that sheer green sari on our cover. We don’t have to tell you that she is the lead in Ragini MMS 2 and Jism 2, and neither do we have to tell you that she has been in the adult movie business since 2005. Though she is married, she still says - “I am single for my fans… I always will be.” That’s more like it!

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09 TAKE THE SHORTS CUT

dia mirza

LAST YEAR 61 From last year, she managed to get a place in the top 10 and we at FHM like to believe we had a hand to play in her sexy status. The khadi knicker on our Feb issue slightly changed her image of a coy, good girl. What remains the same is that she is still the sweet lass who could also be your mother’s first choice. “I’m a very simple person,” she insists. “People might say I lack ambition. Truth is I sleep peacefully at night, I have genuine friends and I only go after things that make me happy.”

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08

VETERAN OF VOLUPTUOUSNESS

Kelly Brook

LAST YEAR 68 Long time FHM crush Kelly Brook is the only girl to have appeared on the 100 Sexiest List every single year since its start – that’s too many non-stop years of blowing your minds. These days, Brook is concentrating on her acting career and will soon be buxoming up our screens in Keith Lemon: The Movie. See you again this time next year, Kel.

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07

SEXBOT FROM THE FUTURE

Rihanna

LAST YEAR 51 Rihanna hasn’t just redefined R&B for the 21st C, she’s also redefined what it means to have enough clothes on. The flawless Barbadian beauty and her whiplash inducing curves have both been omnipresent in the pop world for over half a decade now, and she just keeps doing bigger. It used to be that a woman this stunning, hanging around in public in just her knickers, would make the world stop turning on its axis, but Rihanna does it so often that we’re worried that the universe itself may implode if she stops. Rihanna – please don’t stop. 76

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06 JUNGLEE BILLI

Priyanka Chopra LAST YEAR 07 “Fighter females are definitely in,” says this pretty dame. And we couldn’t agree more. No wonder she is up one position this year. She kicked some ass in Don 2 and showed us that it’s not just Scarlett Johansson who can look freaking awesome while performing stunts. After essaying a hard-hitting role in Agneepath still looking like sex on the toast, she is out with her latest Teri Meri Kahaani and will be ready to make you guys swoon with hopefully some more action in Krrish 3 next year. Hell yeah, we’re impressed with her. And the icing on the cake: She’s single.

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05

ENTERTAINMENT X 3

Vidya Balan

LAST YEAR 04 You still hadn’t forgotten her sultry shoot with us in a sari when she appeared in The Dirty Picture and then we gave her to you wrapped in a lungi. She is okay being the pin-up for every boy in India, but more than that she is comfortable being her size. “Indian women are damn hot. They have the curves, dark eyes and long dark hair… Unfortunately, we’ve been too busy aping the West’s idea of a perfect body type...” “As far as I’m concerned, I am sexiest at my fattest best,” she laughs. We say yes and ask her to promise us a cover pouting in leather next. fhmindia.com

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BAND, BAAJA, BIKINI...

Anushka Sharma

LAST YEAR 10 After a 36-rank jump last year, this year she again jumps six places up to reach the 4th position. Whether it was her Girl Next Door avatar in Band Baaja Baaraat or the sexy-con girl of Ladies vs Ricky Bahl, we know you guys just can’t seem to get enough of her. Not to worry, we love her too and still can’t get past her ode to Bo Derek aka emerging-outof-the-water-in-a-wet-bikini scene. We also love the fact that she currently has a single status and will be seen in sexier roles in her forthcoming flicks. While once upon a time she echoed, “I can’t see myself doing anything else (but modeling)”, we thank our lucky stars that she got dragged in to the mad race of Bollywood.

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SHAKE IT BABY!!!!!

Deepika Padukone LAST YEAR 02 She is one actress who has been in the news for the right and the wrong reasons. Apart from her bikini scenes and short skirts that grabbed headlines, her link-ups and PDAs with guys were front-page runners as well. But that aside and regardless of the fact that she shifted one place down thanks to you disloyal idiots, she is still the hottest ‘single’ in tinsel town who looks ravishing in every

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avatar. She is not size zero yet she has the hottest-bod in showbiz. “I believe that it’s nice to be a little full and have a nice shape”. “In the (film) industry, body size doesn’t matter. What matters is how much an actor contributes through his performance and not his body size…” We totally agree! And you’ve definitely earned brownie points for some of your performances as well Ms Padukone. July 2012

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HALKAT JAWANI...

Kareena Kapoor LAST YEAR 03 From size zero to that smoking hot red sari – Kareena wooed men across ages while doing her Chammak Challo twist. And though she insists, “I am where I am because of my body of work, not just my body” – we know you voted for her not only for her body of work, but also for many other ‘sexy’ reasons. So what if there were rumours of her being pregnant? And so

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what if she might tie the knot this year? With Halkat Jawani – the much awaited item song, she has once again hit the jackpot by showing-off her toned body. “This is the raunchiest number I have ever done. There’s so much exposure,” she says. Oh yes, there is a hell lot of oomph, but we ain’t complaining. And if all that wasn’t enough, she is also the highest paid actress in the industry.

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THEURN RET OF...

a n i r t Ka f i a K fhmindia.com

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Last year you had voted her on the top of the list and she’d reciprocated by letting you put your arm around her at a party. Well okay, she didn’t let you as much as she let us, but hey – the peck on the cheek she gave us this time at the shoot was all for you...

B

Kabeer Sharma photographs Prasad Naik styling rocky s Production Madmoth words

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etween now and when we last met Katrina Kaif, Greece went bankrupt, your petrol bills went through the roof and then sort of came back to normalcy again, the Germans crashed out of the Euro 2012 and Miss Kaif did an item song that beat the stuffing out off and then into her own immensely popular item song from the year before. She’s also been voted an icon for kids alongside Sachin Tendulkar, miraculously positioned herself bang into the middle of the Khan triangle and has also learnt to ride a water scooter. But she insists nothing compares to being voted the Sexiest Woman in the world – again. This is the fourth time. One more time and she’d have squatter rights on the crown. People are going to start saying it’s fixed, we muse out loud. She laughs. “It doesn’t make sense to change something just because people want it to change. It’s just convenient.” It also means people are “not voting for me only based on my physical looks. They are looking at me in entirety.” Just like last year, you listen in awe and nod. And then you ask her the thing you’ve been dying to ask her – What music she’s listening to these days. Wait a minute, that’s not it. You wanted to ask her whether she is single. But she’s listening to Lana Del Ray these days, if you must know. Miss Kaif herself though has changed a lot over the last year. For one she’s embraced the searching phase she was going through last year and come to terms with it. And somewhere between it all, she’s also developed a strange affinity fhmindia.com


Skirt & Corset by Bebe, Shoes by Steve Madden

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for triangles. She’s managed to land herself smack in the middle of the famed and mythical Khan triangle... She has a movie out with her former lover turned great friend – Salman Khan, she has a movie out with his arch nemesis – Shah Rukh Khan and then one with the man who makes you realise how horrible a human being you are every Sunday morning – Aamir Khan. She laughs. “There is not even one percent of the friction that people keep talking about. “When I saw Veer Zara and the scene in which Shah Rukh picks up Preity Zinta and carries her across the bridge, I knew I had to do a romantic film like that.” Thus, the new Yash Chopra movie opposite SRK happened. While we aren’t sure whether he is picking her up and carrying her across bridge in that one, she is suddenly being touted as the quintessential Yash Chopra heroine. The buzz is that she made Chopra senior cry… Such was the love in one of the scenes. What then of the other Mr Khan? The

one who likes to hang his glasses at the back of his collar? “My personal equation with Salman has not been affected at all. I think they are all extremely professional people.” Another thing that has changed over the course of the last year is her reluctance to become an adrenaline junkie. “It’s not like I am hurling myself off planes on vacation,” she laughs. She has however developed a little bit of a soft spot for water sports. And she isn’t someone who makes it a habit to fall off from a water scooter. “I think I did alright, but I’d still like to keep both my feet firmly on the ground.” We sense an opening and ask her the one thing we’ve been meaning to ask her ever since our polling closed. You see if this were an ad, you’d be like the guy who takes forever to ask a girl out. You instead would take the same time to ask her if she’d want to curl up with you and a plate of curd rice (she’s addicted to those we hear) and even then stop just short of asking her if she’s single. She is. She

"When I saw Veer Zara and the scene in which Shah Rukh picks up

P r e i t y Z i n ta a n d c a r r i e s h e r ac ros s t h e b r i d g e, I k n e w I h a d t o d o a r om a n t i c f i l m l i k e t h at "

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"When

I d e c i d e t o c omm i t yo u ’ l l h e a r a bo u t i t. Som e t i m e s i t m i g h t no t w o r k . Som e t i m e s o t h e r p e o p l e m i g h t no t w a n t t o ta l k a bo u t t h i n g s . . . "

admits. “When I decide to commit you’ll hear about it. Sometimes it might not work. Sometimes other people might not want to talk about things, but no, I am single,” she insists. Then she gives off a throaty laugh as she says, “I have no idea who these friends are”. We are talking about her ‘close friends’ who are being quoted telling newspapers that she’s in a “stable relationship and out of the dating game.” Girls like her are never in the dating game. They don’t need to be. We’re talking about paparazzo’s that have allegedly pictured her holding hands with Ranbir. She thinks people don’t understand friendships. That said, the one thing that does set 88

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Miss Kaif apart from the herd is her spectacular ability to multi-task. She’s been as sexy and as at ease doing a Sheila ki Jawani (which is the only time she had to go on a diet) and Chikni Chameli, as she is being the romantic Yash Chopra heroine, the cotton sari clad power politician in the second part of Rajneeti and the kicks hurling actionista of Dhoom 3. “Being sexy isn’t about the clothes… The sexiest thing is not trying. For me to wear a cotton sari, be without makeup and to still be desirable is sexy.” She insists she’d rather not stick to doing the same thing just because it’s considered ‘sexy’. If only Rakhi Sawant and the ilk were listening to this. fhmindia • fhmindia

That said – she isn’t completely off item songs like the yellow page hacks have been screaming. “I think they are just being imaginative. I never said that. I love my song and dance. It gives me too much joy to let go like that.” But the one thing that she does miss is taking a break. “Maybe I’ll take off a week after Ek Tha Tiger releases. God knows where I’ll go though. It’s going to be very last minute like always,” she tells us. And that’s the thing about Katrina. At a time when cinema is besotted with the ` 100 crore club – she wants to take a week off after the release of one of the most anticipated movies of the year, because she wants to. Just like last year, she isn’t bitching about her contemporaries, complaining about the roles she is landing or insisting she wants to do arty “meaningful” cinema. She’s just happy being who she is. Some have called her ‘shameless’, and then there’s everyone else who are just happy to be in the same room as her. We are the latter. Fan boys. That’s the one thing that hasn’t changed from last year – she still makes us go weak in the knees and turns you into mouse happy clickers on the FHM India site. fhmindia.com


Dress by Rocky Star, Shoes: Steve Madden

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lon do n d rea ms

10

indian olympians FHM is betting on FHM met the athletes who we are expecting a podium finish from Not even in our wildest dreams had we imagined India topping the medal tally at any athletic meet, but considering the recent performances of our athletes set to represent India in London, chances are bright that they wouldn’t return home with just a bronze or two this time.

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lon d on d reams

INDIA at the Olympics 1900: The year when India was first represented in Paris Olympics by Anglo Indian Norman Pritchard who was holidaying in the city during that time. He bagged two silver medals in 200m. 6 successive gold medals were won by the Indian hockey team from 1928-1956.

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1920: The year India first sent a team to the Olympics. 2008: The year Abhinav Bindra won India’s first ever individual gold medal and the total tally of medal at the Beijing Olympics went up to 3. 20: That’s the total number of medals won by India at the Olympics to date.

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Devendro Singh Jai Bhagwan The unsung hero of Indian boxing plans to settle for nothing less than gold and going by the confidence he oozed during a chat with FHM, we are sure that this boxer will come back with medals. Excerpts...

Courtesy: Percept Talent and PlayRight; Illustrations: Varun Bhardwaj

Have you set a goal for yourself for the Games? My aim is nothing less than a gold. What does one need to win a game? A good mix of technique, presence of mind and versatility in your punches. Which according to you is the strongest team? China is said to be the strongest team. How did you react to the loss in the preliminary of the Kazakhstan President’s Cup? We win some matches, and we lose some. If a win makes you proud, a loss reminds you that you still need to work harder. My loss just made me want to work and train harder for the Olympics. Have you ever cheated in the ring? Boxing is a sport and keeping that spirit in mind is always important. Who is your favourite boxing legend? Mike Tyson and Muhammad Ali.

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Vijender Singh Our hopes for a boxing medal lie in India’s poster boy and Beijing Olympic bronze medalist – Vijender Singh. The hero of the 2008 Olympics is back to improve his last performance and tell us how things have changed… Are you a better athlete now than you were four years ago? We all have grown so much since then. This edition will certainly be better than ever. We are in good shape. Is the pressure building? If you’re really focused, you’ll remain calm. What can we expect from our country’s contingent? We’ve been competing regularly at international events, so we have the experience. Indian boxers are no longer weak because we’ve done well. Our graph is at an all-time high and opponents dread us. How do you remain mentally fit? I meditate and keep visualising my bouts. Which is the strongest team out there? Russia and Cuba. You recently said, ‘I want to be the Sachin Tendulkar of boxing’… Because he represents excellence and vigour.

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His standing on the international boxing scene got a push when he brushed aside his higher-ranked opponent Carlos Quipo of Ecuador at the World Boxing Championships in Baku, Azerbaijan to qualify for the 2012 Olympics. India’s entrant in the 49kg category talks about life in the ring and outside… Everyone is talking about you. Like that? It’s good to know that people have faith in me. Your biggest achievement till date? Qualifying for the London Olympics, as well as my performance at the Commonwealth. How rigorously have you been training for the sporting gala? We all are fanatics with our training regimes, which change on a weekly basis now. After returning from the qualifiers we took no time in getting back to a heavy schedule. Since you are one of the youngest in the team, you must be getting a lot of tips from others? Oh yes! I do get tips on stamina, weight management and everything else that would improve my performance. Have you spotted your toughest competitor and team? Birzhan Zakipov of Kazakhstan. He is experienced and skilled. Even the Russians are extremely strong.


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MANOJ KUMAR Sumit Sangwan When the 19-year-old boxer dished out a power packed punch on Jordan’s Ihab Almatdault in the 81 kg category to become the seventh Indian to qualify for this Olympics, there were celebrations in the Indian camp because it ensured that India was sending its biggest ever boxing contingent to the London Olympics… Tell us about that moment when you defeated Ihab? I was blessed to be at the right place at the right time and my hard work paid off. Does training get tough at times? Right now it’s very tough, but that’s what’s required at a competition like this. What brings a smile to your face? Friends, good music, and my mom’s cooking. Have you ever been unprofessional in the ring? Yes, when I was learning boxing from my brother. In one fight he was my opponent and we kept fighting because we had fought about something at home and refused to leave each other until my dad interfered. My brother still teases me on that, but he’s my boxing idol.

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He not only made his village, Rajound (Haryana), popular but also made India proud at several international sports meets like the Commonwealth Games in 2010. The 25-year-old boxer who holds great promise at the London Olympics gets talking about boxing and a little thing called life. When did you first pick up a boxing glove? In Rajound, everyone gets into boxing young, so I’ve grown up with it. Even my brother was a boxer. Since all my cousins and relatives were into boxing, I thought of taking it up professionally. Do you keep tabs on the scoreboard during games? It doesn’t matter who I’m fighting, I don’t look at the scoreboard. I just play my best. Your recent loss in the quarterfinals of Republic of Kazakhstan President’s Cup was unexpected… I’ll compensate for it at the London Olympics. We hear you idolise Sunny Deol? I’m very fond of him because I watch his films regularly. For boxing, Mike Tyson and my elder brother inspire me. What is that one thing you’d like to assure us? I want you to know we Indians are no less and we’ll put up a good fight.

Shiva Thapa The boxer’s won his first major international award at a junior competition in Azerbaijan at age 15. A year later, he bagged bronze at the 2009 Junior World Boxing Championship and then repeated his success story at 17 when he won a silver medal at the 2010 Summer Youth Olympics. The 18-year-old Olympian spoke to us about representing his country... You must be happy representing India at the London games... I’ll be happier if I win a medal for my country. As the youngest member of the Indian boxing team, you must be the most pampered? I appreciate the advice given to me and I understand that it comes from their experience as they are well-wishers. Is boxing all about power? It’s much more of a mind game involving strategy. How do you decide which body part to attack? There isn’t a specific area. It depends on the height of my opponent and his game.

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lon do n d rea ms the players participating in the games

Abhinav Bindra, Gagan Narang, Ronjan Singh Sodhi, Annu Raj Singh, Shagun Chaudhary, Manavjit Singh Sandhu, Rahi Sarnobat, Vijay Kumar, Sanjeev Rajput, Joydeep Karmakar, Heena Sidhu and Imran Khan Hasan

Krishna Poonia (women’s discus throw), Tintu Luka (women’s 800 meters), Vikas Gowda (men’s discus throw), Mayookha Johny (women’s triple jump), Om Prakash Karhana (men’s shot put), Babubhai Panocha (20 km walk), Gurmeet Singh (20 km walk), Seema Antil (women’s discus throw), Ram Singh Yadav (Marathon), Ranjith Maheshwari (men’s triple jump), Basanta Bahadur Rana, Sudha Singh, Baljinder Singh and Irfan Kolothum Thodi

Devendro Singh, Shiva Thapa, Jai Bhagwan, Manoj Kumar, Vikas Krishnan, Vijender Singh (2008 Beijing Olympics bronze medalist), Sumit Sangwan and Mary Kom (women)

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Laishram Bombayla Devi (women), Deepika Kumari (women), Chekrovolu Swuro (women), Jayanta Talukdar (men), Rahul Banerjee and Tarundeep Rai

Swaran Singh, Manjeet Singh, and Sandeep Kumar

Soumyajit Ghosh and Ankita Das

Saina Nehwal, Jwala Gutta, V. Diju, Ashwini Ponappa and Parupalli Kashyap

Leander Paes, Vishnu Vardhan, Mahesh Bhupathi, Rohan Bopanna and Sania Mirza

Yogeshwar Dutt, Amit Kumar, Sushil Kumar ( Beijing Olympics bronze medalist wrestler), Geeta Kumari and Narsingh Yadav

Sandeep Sejwal, Virdhawal Khade, Saurabh Sangvekar and Aaron D’Souza

Parupalli Kashyap Katulu Ravi Kumar and N Soniya Chanu

Garima Chaudhary

Bharat Chetri (captain), P R Sreejesh, V R Raghunath, Ignace Tirkey, Sandeep Singh, Sardar Singh (vice-captain), Gurbaj Singh, Birendra Lakra, Manpreet Singh, S V Sunil, Gurwinder Singh Chandi, Shivendra Singh, Danish Mujtaba, Tushar Khandke,r Dharamvir Singh and S K Uthappa Standbys: Sarvanjit Singh and Kothajit Singh

His consistency has made him the blue-eyed boy of Indian Badminton and the Hyderabad shuttler proved his mettle yet again when he quashed top seed Chen Long of China in the Indonesia Open badminton tournament quarterfinals. He gets candid in a chat… You were pretty impressive when you made it to the semis of the India Open Super Series. Will we see the same fire at the Olympics? You can be rest assured that we will put in our best. A climb up the ranking ladder this year then? Last year, I was at 24, but I think now it’ll be 22. I’ve seen myself rise and fall, but right now it’s important to maintain this position. Most cherished moment on court? The Olympic qualifiers. Do you think people will be glued to Olympics? Sporting events like Commonwealth and the exposure that other sports have been getting these days will get people will be interested. Doubles anytime soon? No. For now I want to focus on singles because that’s where I have to excel.

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Ashwini Ponnappa If you go by the popularity her batchmates – Saina Nehwal and Jwalla Gutta – enjoy, Ashwini is still an underdog, but the cute shuttler is as fierce as her contemporaries and London will testify her mettle… Is the pressure building? Yes, but my family and music help me stay calm. It’s positive pressure because it’s from people who expect something from me. You’ve teamed up with Jwala regularly. How has that been? She’s a really wonderful and confident person. She’s the best at the net and her opponents normally don’t know how hard she’s gonna hit that shuttle. Are there moments on court when mutual understanding doesn’t work? We strategise every shot, but confusion is bound to happen in a game. We understand each others’ moves and that’s why we’ve performed so well till now. Do you compare yourself with contemporaries? No. Everyone’s great in their game and I try my best to be good at mine and keep trying to outdo myself. Any particular favourite? All of them are talented. fhmindia.com


lon d on d reams

fyi

Gandhi covered the 1932 Olympics as a newspaper reporter in Los Angeles. In 1900, in France, winners got paintings instead of gold medals. In 1908, the London Olympics went on for 187 days. Golf has featured only twice in the history of the Olympics. The last time gold medals were made of solid gold was in the year 1912. The ancient Olympic games were played in the nude. Sandeep Sejwal He not just holds the national records for the 50, 100 and 200m breaststroke events, but was also the first Indian swimmer to break into the top 100 in the 2008 FINA World Rankings in two events – 100 and 200m breaststroke. Excerpts from our conversation with the first Indian breaststroke swimmer to qualify for the Olympics. How have you progressed since the CWG? That was a while ago and I’ve trained hard since then and participated in big meets hoping to perform better in the future. Do we see you on the podium again? It’s the ultimate dream for any athlete, but it’s not as easy as it sounds. I’ve been training with the aim of winning an Olympic medal for years now and hope to win it for India some day. Who’s the strongest team out there? There’s no such thing as the strongest team. It’s all about dealing with the expectations of having to perform well at the highest level. On a given day, whosoever handles the pressure better comes out strongest.

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No women competed in 1896, as de Coubertin felt that their inclusion would be “impractical, uninteresting, unaesthetic, and incorrect.”

Sushil Kumar He may not have the looks to grab a lot of advertising contracts, but the 2008 Olympic bronze medal winner has everything that makes him unbeatable. We find out why… Who do you look upto? Inspiration comes from every sporting legend, but it’s got to be Dara Singhji. What’s on your mind when you’re wrestling? I just want to bring my opponent down. You mentioned your brief training stint at the US Olympic Center in Colorado Springs helped you a lot… Any training away from home field is good exposure and teaches you a lot. I picked up a few helpful techniques when I was there. Have you ever resorted to an unprofessional approach to win? No. We’re playing a sport, so we have to be professional, and I’m not out there to harm my opponent. It’s only about how skillfully I play. How have you been preparing for the big matches? I’m doing everything needed to achieve the goals I have set for myself. Lets hope it bears fruit.

More athletes than spectators attended the 1900 Paris Olympic Games. India first participated in Olympics in 1900 in Paris. The country was represented by Norman Pritchard, an Anglo Indian. India has the lowest number of total Olympic medals per capita. The first team sport added to the Olympics was Football in 1900. Poodle-clipping was an Olympic sport in the 1900 Paris Games. Saudi Arabia, Qatar and Brunei have never sent a female athlete the Olympics. Film director Danny Boyle is overseeing the opening and closing ceremonies for the 2012 Olympics. All of India’s eight gold medals at the Olympics during the 20th century were won by the men’s field hockey team. Anyone streaking at the 2012 Olympic Games will be fined up to £20,000. There’s a 62-year age difference between the oldest and youngest Olympians ever. American swimmer Michael Phelps is the most successful Olympian of all time with 16 medals, 14 of them gold. fhmindia • fhmindia

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cham pi o n o f t h e t r ac k

USAIN BOLT

Photography by Adam Hinton Words by Dan Jude

TOUCH

Usain Bolt is the biggest sports star on planet Earth. And if we’re to believe the hype, come mid-August he’s going to have even more world records and gold medals to his name. FHM flew to Kingston, Jamaica for an exclusive interview with the biggest freak of nature athletics has ever seen. 96

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cha mp ion of the track

9.58 seconds 100m world record

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cham pi o n o f t h e t r ac k 3 olympic gold medals

The first thing you notice about Usain Bolt is just how slow he is. He walks at a glacial pace, plodding in Jamaica’s midday sun like a knackered donkey. His every movement is sedate, unhurried, sluggish – from tying his shoelaces to eating a lunch of rice and peas. Which makes it all the more surprising that Bolt is the fastest man ever to live. By some distance. Usain Bolt can run 100m in 9.58 seconds. That’s not just slightly ahead of the previous world record – it’s decades, centuries ahead, in terms of natural sporting evolution. Until Bolt, world records were generally toppled by a couple of milliseconds every few years; Bolt’s time is 16 milliseconds ahead of his nearest competitor. His 200m personal best of 19.19 is just as impressive – a staggering 13 hundredths of a second faster than the previous world record chalked up by Michael Johnson in 1996. On the track, Bolt isn’t just quick, he’s 98

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super-human. No man should be able to run as fast as him. Whether you’re a fan of athletics or not, seeing him in his stride is an awesome experience – like watching a rocket launch into space, you know it shouldn’t be possible, and yet somehow, it is. His record-shattering pace has bagged him five World Championship golds so far, alongside the three Olympic gold medals from Beijing that he’ll doubtless be adding to in London this month. It’s fair to say that Usain Bolt truly has the Midas Touch – when it comes to sprinting, everything he touches quite literally turns to gold. But at 12:15pm Jamaican time, outside the Bob Marley museum in Kinsgston, Jamaica, where FHM has come to meet the man behind the myth, Bolt moves at a standstill. Even the car that he arrives in shuffles along the street before it comes to a halt. When he edges out of his motor – fully equipped with blacked-out-windows and alloys – it’s hard to believe that this languid, listless 6’5 giant is the same man who smashed the 100m world record by such an enormous margin that he fhmindia • fhmindia

had time to start celebrating before even crossing the line. “Yeah, moving at this pace is just me, it’s who I am,” he says slowly, through a wry smile and a thick Jamaican drawl. “I try to relax, I try not to do too much that stresses me, that’s how I am. I’m just lazy, so I just chill out. People find it amazing that I do everything so slow, yet I’m the fastest man in the world. I guess all the speed I save adds up to being the fastest man in the world!” Thanks to being the fastest man in the world, Usain Bolt is now rich and famous beyond his wildest dreams. Born in 1986 in Trelawny, Jamaica, to parents who worked in the local grocery store, he can now buy anything he wants – and he does. When he wrote off his BMW M3, he just went out and bought another one. But unlike scores of his peers who’ve earned so much so young, Bolt doesn’t flaunt his extreme wealth, nor does he take it for granted. “I just work hard and because of that I can buy nice stuff, that’s pretty much it,” he says. “I enjoy getting what I want because I work towards what I wanted. If I want a car, I can go buy fhmindia.com


cha mp ion of the track

“People find it amazing that I do

everything so slow, yet I’m the fastest man in the world. I guess all the speed I save adds up to being the fastest man in the world...

a car. That’s how I look at it, so I work for the stuff that I want.” For all the column inches and the world records and the sponsorship deals and the millions of dollars and the global fame, Usain Bolt is – underneath it all – just a simple man with simple pleasures (BMW M3s aside…). He likes videogames and football and home-cooked food (Call of Duty, Man United and jerk pork are his favourites), which, in an age of egomaniacal, flashy, spoilt sports-stars, is immensely refreshing. But how does being one of the most successful sportsmen of all time feel for a man who is essentially just a normal – albeit very, very, very fast – 25-year-old lad from Jamaica? “It’s a big thing, believe me. When you grow up, you just want to be an Olympic champion. I never knew I was going to be this big or this famous though…” Is it hard to take in all the success you’ve had? It’s mind blowing to think about it sometimes, but for me it’s just a good thing that I was brought up as a grounded person. I was brought up by my fhmindia.com

parents to always enjoy what I do and to never let what you accomplish get to your head; to just be the same person you always are. You’ve earned a hell of a lot of money over the last few years. What do you spend it all on? Cars. I buy a lot of cars. Which is your favourite? My Nissan GT Skyline. My new BMW M3 convertible. And my Shelby Mustang GT500 – that was the last one they tried to steal in Gone In 60 Seconds. Aside from driving fast cars, what else do you get up to in your spare time? Nothing! I watch TV, mainly basketball, football. I love football – I support Man U in the Premiership. Could you have been a footballer yourself? Yeah, I think I could. I played a lot of football and fhmindia • fhmindia

cricket when I was younger. I still play sometimes now, but I’m not allowed to play close to competition time.

19.19 seconds 200m world record

If you had the chance, would you trade in running for being Man United’s star striker? Yeah, I would for sure want to do that! After the Olympics though… Are you any good at other sports? I actually started off with cricket. I was a huge cricket fan as a boy and I was the opening fast bowler. It was the school cricket coach who discovered that I was so fast. It was a sports day, and he said to me ‘why don’t you try running?’ So I ran on sports day and I did well. How long did it take before you realised you were a little bit special? I think it was when I got to 15 and everybody said July 2012

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cham pi o n o f t h e t r ac k ‘you have a talent, and you can go far if you really work on it.’ That’s when people started pushing me, telling me I should continue and work hard. How much of your success is down to raw talent, and how much is down to hard work? I can’t say. The fact that I have a good time is just one thing, but I also train really hard, and the work pays off so. I guess it’s 50/50. Over your career, you’ve achieved some incredible things. What’s been your best moment so far? The biggest moment of my life has to be World Juniors in Jamaica [in 2002]. That’s what made me who I am. I think that’s because I did it in front of my home crowd. Now that you’re a global superstar, do you still have the same friends from when you were a kid? Yeah, a few of them from school, and a few running friends, we still hang out.

I don’t know, honestly. If everything goes right, 9.4 [seconds] is a good possibility. Can you see your records getting beaten within your lifetime? Well, hopefully not. They say great athletes come around every 10 years or so, so hopefully the next great one won’t be a track and field one! Jamaica has produced a lot of recordbreaking sprinters. Why is that? Running is just so big here. If you watch the youth events and you see the pride the kids put into winning, pushing themselves to do so well, it’s amazing. The coaches search for talent around the island, so that’s why all the talent keeps popping up, because we actually search and people want to learn fast. Everyone’s running fast now, and more and more people keep popping up. Where do you get the biggest rush from when

Isn’t it about time you got yourself a pop star girlfriend? There aren’t any pop stars in Jamaica! Rihanna’s pretty close, isn’t she? Yeah that would be nice. That would be very nice. What sort of clothes do you wear to woo the ladies around you? I always try to keep it simple. The t-shirts I wear are plain white tees. I’m a simple guy, I’m not extravagant. Unless it’s a big occasion; then I’ll try to look all flashy and stuff. So what do you put on for a big celebratory night out? I don’t really wear a lot of jewellery, but I like flashy clothes like Gucci. I like David Beckham’s style sense a lot.

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What do you think about when you’re running? I try and concentrate at the beginning and in the first half, but the second half just comes naturally. You were criticised for celebrating before you crossed the line in the 100m in Beijing. Was that arrogance? For me that was just happiness. I was just happy that I made it to the finals. It was joyous. Do you worry about injuries? One little slip and that could be the Olympics gone… I think in life you’ve got to look at it as: things happen when they’re going to happen. You can’t do anything about it. Certain things you can try to avoid, but if you’re going to twist your ankle, you’re going to twist your ankle. I could step down there and twist my ankle. So for me I just try to live and try to enjoy my life. Sometimes you see yourself standing there and you have to relax yourself a little. What does the future hold for you after running? I’d like to travel a lot.

you race? Crossing the line? No, it’s before I start running. It’s something I really look forward to – when I get out there for the first time, when the crowd sees me coming out, when they announce my name. Do you still get nervous? Sometimes, it depends on the reception that I get. At the World Championships when I came out for the 200m there were lots of kids there and that was wonderful for me. That is a moment that I will always remember.

Hopefully you’ll be doing lots of celebrating after the Olympics. How fast do you really think you could run at London 2012? 5 I don’t know, hopefully I can break World my old record. I’m going to work on Championship that and try and stay focused and gold just work hard. medals If everything goes right, what’s the fastest you could do 100m in?

What goes through your head as you’re waiting to start a race? The majority of what you’re thinking is just to get the execution right at the start because that’s always my main problem. It’s the hardest bit but as long as I get the execution right, then I’m more comfortable.

Does the crowd play a big part? Yeah, definitely. I perform for the crowd. I don’t only want to go out there and run, I want to give the crowd as much love and I want them to enjoy it as much as possible.

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Anywhere in particular? Everywhere. I just want to pick somewhere and go, because we work so hard and at the moment I get to travel all the time, but I never get to see places I go to. The worry for me is that I go to so many different places now, that when I retire I’ll have nowhere to go! Hopefully when I retire I’ll have a steady girlfriend and maybe I’ll have a kid or two. What else do you plan to do – would you ever go into coaching? No, I don’t want to go into coaching or anything like that. Hopefully I’ll own a few businesses, maybe a few restaurants and stuff like that. Stuff to turn money over so I can just sit and get fat really. Actually, I don’t want to get fat, but I just want to be lazy. I don’t want to do much. I think track and field sports are so hard that after your career you shouldn’t do much. Just take it easy and do what you want to do.

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THE EN D LESS Q UEST FOR IMPROVEMENT T e l e v i s i o n i s n o lo n g e r a n i d i ot

114

TV is well on its way to replace computers... will you still call it an idiot box?

102 28 laziest tricks to g e t o n to t h e prouder side of a weighing scale.

106 to o m u c h o f b o dy h a i r b e s t suits a werewolf and even anil kapoor thinks so

110 get rid of the laces and add a co o l s p i n to a n y outfit with our l i s t o f loa f e r s

118 on her next trip a b r o a d, Yo u r g i r l w i l l c h e at o n yo u.

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this is

HOW LAZY BUMS

CUT FLAB

Even reading this article will make you lose weight, so go on…

this is how you get started 01 Eat a grapefruit

They say eating half a grapefruit with every meal boosts the pace of burning body fat. Also, grape fruit blocks enzymes that assist in the storage of fat and carbs in the body. Some of the people who followed the famous Grapefruit Diet claimed to have lost 5-6 kgs in 12 days without forgoing their normal meals.

05 Take notes

For every hour you spend taking notes, you burn 46 calories. So it’s time you stop typing minutes of the meetings and start jotting down every piece of shit your boss says.

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03 Eat spicy food

02 Stand up while you eat

Don’t sit while you are having your meals because a research conducted by Mayo Clinic in US suggested that standing up while eating burns more calories than sitting down. Also, it helps you stretch.

06 Laugh a lot

Every minute that you spend laughing with your friends helps you let go of 1.3 calories. In a recently published study in the International Journal of Obesity, it was found that laughing increases both your heart rate as well as the calorie expenditure by up to 20 percent. Now that’s a lot.

Not as spicy as they serve in dhabas, but eating spices like chili pepper or mustard seeds in mild quantities speeds up the metabolism. The world over, Indian curries are recommended to people who are eager to lose weight because our curries contain a variety of spices including cinnamon (just one teaspoon a day lowers blood sugar levels and cholesterol), black pepper (boosts fat burning by 8%) and mustard seeds (boosts metabolism by 20-25%).

07 Eat to lose weight

You’ll stop losing weight if you eat restricted amount of calories for a very long time because your body gets accustomed to lower levels of calories, so it’s advisable that you should eat as much as you want to every two to three weeks to reset your metabolism.

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04 Fly a kite

Now is the time to start preparing for the kite flying contests that will start next month during the Independence Day celebrations because if you fly a kite for half an hour, you’ll burn 80 calories. It really works.

MAN FACT

for 30 Reading a magazine ories, minutes burns 45 cal used is e blu r ou col the and if rn bu ’ll you y, pla in the dis more calories.


U P G R A D E h ea lt h

emails make you fat chubbier 08 Sleep Naked

09 Fire the car cleaner

10 Window Shopping

11 Get an exercise ball

12 Buy a high chair

13 Stop sending emails

14 Cook yourself

DID YOU KNOW?

What happens is that when you sleep with clothes on, they trap the heat and maintain your body temperature. Thus, the body becomes inactive. However, when you sleep naked your body goes an extra mile to maintain the body heat and thus, burns calories in the process.

It’s a pain to get up from low seating, but if you have a high chair at the work place, it will be less painful to stand. Several companies are now giving an option of high chair to the employees because sitting at your desk for an hour burns 63 calories, while standing up burns 127.

If you wash your car for just an hour, you’ll end up burning 400 calories. Now don’t say that cleaning isn’t fun.

Until and unless it’s confidential information, walk up to your colleague to talk about things that don’t require online communication. Just this two minute walk will help you reduce 600 grams every year.

Walking in the park or on the treadmill could be shit boring, but it can be replaced with walking in and out of shops and trawling the mall. According to estimates, you can lose 100 calories if you shop for an hour. In fact, window-shopping is even better because you don’t have to actually stop to pick up things as you just keep walking.

If you have been spending some time in the kitchen cooking for yourself, you will remain slimmer than your friends who order food from outside or are spoon-fed by moms because an hour spent cooking burns 140 calories and also, one doesn’t overindulge on self-made food.

If you replace your regular chair with an exercise ball, not only will your posture would improve, but also your muscles will constantly be engaged in order to maintain the balance on the ball. It’s a light workout, but a very effective one.

- You can have a bedtime snack and not put on weight if in the entire day you have burnt more calories than you have consumed. - Studies show that people who skip breakfast tend to be heavier than those who eat a nutritious breakfast. - It doesn’t matter if everyone in your family is fat, you can still be slim, but only if you work towards it.

TV FRIENDLY EXERCISES 01 Couch-Tricep Dips

02 Sitting method

Sit straight on a sturdy chair with your feet firmly planted on the floor. Carefully raise your right leg up. Slowly lower down your right leg and then raise your left leg. Alternately do this for a few minutes.

03 Bicycle method

While you’re enjoying a game of PS, just move your legs as if you are paddling a bicycle. This will burn calories and tone your tummy.

04 Side-Couch Crunches

Lie on the couch on your left side, put your right hand behind your head and point your elbow to the ceiling. Contract your side oblique muscles and lift your shoulder off the couch attempting to bring your rib cage to your hip. Hold this position and lower slowly. Do it 10 times.

Words: Kumar Saurav

Sit in front of your couch and put your hands on the edge of the couch. Move your butt out and then slowly use your arms to lower your body to the floor and to bring your butt back up. Don’t bend you knees. Do two sets of 15 each.

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you need to make out more often 15 Get a dog

There’s nothing like it if you have a pet at home because the pet will make sure that you take him/her out for walk twice daily. If it’s a massive breed, it’s even better because you’ll spend more energy handling it. Whole Wheat Bread

67

Multigrain Bread

65

16 Use bags as

17 Drink coffee

dumbbells

Those trolley bags and Coolies ease off a lot of exertion at airports and railway stations, but letting someone else pick your stuff will make 1.07 gm 12.26 gm 2.37 gm Picking you fat. your luggage is a great way to strengthen muscles and burn calories (100 0.99 gm 12.06 gm 2.6 gm in 20 minutes)

19 Eat negative-calorie

20 Extend your

It’s a category of food items that require more energy to digest than they produce. Grapefruit, lemon, lime, apple, lettuce, celery, broccoli and cabbage are some of the foods that produce negative energy.

Every minute that you spend on the porcelain sofa, you end up losing a calorie. So, if you are taking a magazine or newspaper inside the washroom to read, make sure that it’s thick and that you finish it before coming out of the restroom.

foods

Studies have found that caffeine increases the rate at which you burn calories, according to Susan B. Roberts, author of The ‘I’ Diet (Workman) and a professor of nutrition and psychiatry at Tufts University in Boston.

Every hour, stand up and sit down slowly four times. This will boost your blood circulation, stretch your muscles and at the end of the office hours, you’ll end up doing 32 squats. Now that’s cool.

14% fat, 72% carbs, 14% protein

13% fat, 71% carbs, 16% protein

21 get a PS

washroom breaks

18 Do chair-robics

recent studies suggest that the advances in motion technology could make you lose weight. Peripherals like the Playstation Move and Wii that use motion sensing are already a rage world over. horror and action games make the body release adrenaline into the blood, which boosts metabolism.

Should you consider a fat loss surgery?

Says Dr Milan Doshi, cosmetic surgeon, Allure Medspa, “Fat loss surgeries have become safe and less stressful with the help of advances in medical science and technology. Ultrasonic laser assisted liposuction is one of the easiest, fastest and best ways to lose weight get back into shape with fast recovery with good skin tightening effect.”

Calories burned while Activity

104

15 Minutes

60 Minutes

Playing cards

9

34

Casino gambling

22

88

Sitting while reading

5

20

Sitting while doing desk work

14

54

Standing during a phone call

14

54

Sitting during a phone call

9

34

Standing while reading

14

54

Sitting while doing arts and crafts

9

34

having sex

45

180

Eating

7

30

Billiards

34

148

playing video games

20

80

family reunion

9

34

just sitting and watching tv

21

84

watching a match at the stadium

9

34

July 2012

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U P G R A D E h ea lt h

Best times

Tricks To Curb Hunger Instantly

1 To eat breakfast, lunch and dinner The first meal should be consumed within an hour of waking up, lunch about 4.5 hours after that, and dinner – three hours before sleeping. 2 To weigh yourself First thing in the morning after you go to the bathroom. 3 To workout Early morning before breakfast because when you exercise on an empty stomach your body uses fat that’s already stored in your body to give you energy. 4 To cheat on a diet You can have whatever you want at a certain point of the day. For fatty food, it’s 10 am, for carbs it’s 1 pm, for sugar it’s 2 pm and 5 pm is the best time to sip on some cocktails.

Brush your teeth or use mouth wash before you eat because you wouldn’t want to spoil the fresh taste of the toothpaste even for butter chicken.

❑ Drink coffee or tea as they suppress hunger, but only if consumed without sugar.

❑ Look at something gross or

brutal like a picture of a zombie because you wouldn’t then feel like eating then.

❑ Imagine yourself eating

something that you would never eat even for a night with Angelina Jolie. Like a donkey’s testicles.

❑ Cleaning your toilet will make you feel so dirty that you wouldn’t want to eat anything instantly.

Red and yellow colour make you eat more 22 Shut that alarm clock

For ages, we have been told that sleeping a lot makes you fat, but new researches have show than it could be the most sluggish way to cut inches. A six-year study in Canada suggested that people who slept five to six hours a night gained 2 kilos more than those who dozed for seven to eight hours nightly. The research was backed by the logic that people who sleep less tend to munch a lot.

26 Click your

Tips BY:

food

Instead of taking down the number of calories you have consumed in the last meal, if you click a picture of it, you would eat a smaller portion in the next meal because studies show that a visual reminder of your meals helps you curb calories. fhmindia.com

23 Smell your food

According to a research conducted by Dr Alan R. Hirsch of the Smell & Taste Treatment and Research Foundation in Chicago, people who regularly sniff their food felt less hungry and lost weight faster than those who didn’t.

27 Tie yourself up

You could try fitness guru Valerie Orsoni’s “Le Petit Secret”: “A number of French women wear a ribbon around their waist and underneath their clothes when they go out for dinner. It keeps them conscious of the tummy—particularly if the ribbon starts to feel tighter as the evening goes on!”

24 Eat in front of a mirror

It would considerably reduce the quantity of food you eat. In fact, according to some studies, you’ll cut down your eating by 33%. The logic goes that when you eat in front of a mirror, you’re constantly reminded of your fitness and how unfit are you.

28 Start Your Meal with a Soup or Salad

Various studies have showed that people who started lunch with vegetable soup ended up eating 20 percent less than those who skipped the soup. That’s because salads and soups have a lot water and fiber that give you a feeling of being full. Some studies even suggested that people who order a side dish consume 12% less calories than those who don’t.

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25 Visit a

restaurant that’s painted blue

You would hardly find one because the color blue suppresses appetite. So if you eat in a blue plate, wear a blue shirt or carry your food in a blue tiffin-box, you will eat less. You can even put on a blue bulb in your dining area.

6 weightloss sins

❑ Substituting whole fruits with fruit juices that are just sugar.

❑ Thinking that every form of carbohydrates is bad for you. ❑ Having low calorie or sugarfree

food in unlimited quantities. Confusing the author of a book on weightloss to be an expert, and following everything they say. Eating a lot or not eating at all. Thinking that you’ll lose weight at the same pace as that guy on one of the diet pills commercial. It will never happen.

❑ ❑ ❑

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Man Grooming...

BEFORE

after

BEFORE

after

BEFORE

after

Are you hairy

like anil kapooR?

Since hairy chests are passé, our hairy heroes – Anil Kapoor and Salman Khan – no longer flaunt their fur proudly. For those who want to follow suit, FHM tested five ways to get rid of excess hair…

? Brozilian n of a

y versio It’s the gu you wax where ed. Brazilian x a w m our bu even get y in the US are n While me it, we have t mad abou tions in a our reserv ut. trying it o

BEFORE

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after

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U P G R A D E gr o o m i n g

WTF?

01

02

03

Best for: Your whole body apart from your back. Pain factor: Pros: Of all the methods shaving is the least hurty. Cons: Stubble appears within days, even hours, and you’re more likely to get ingrown hairs. What to use: While there are no razors in India specific to the job, you can pick any double blade razor and get the job done. Don’t try female razors, they don’t work on coarse hair like ours. Also, 3-blade razors are too complicated for the purpose.

Best for: Everything bar face and genitals. Definitely avoid your balls. Pain factor: Pros: It’s pain free, so long as you don’t leave it on, causing chemical burns. Cons: Most creams don’t work so well on thicker stragglies and it’ll make your flat STINK of eggs. What to use: Hiphop Hair Remover Cream For Men is designed specially for men’s coarse hair. `100 for 125 gms

Best for: Shoulder fuzz/small patches of hair. A lady favourite. Pain factor: Pros: You can do it any time to any length of hair and won’t have to wait for the hair to grow long enough to wax it again. Cons: It kills. Like getting a tattoo but more rippy. What to use: The Philips Satinelle Epilator is specifically designed to ease pain and irritation as the tweezers remove the hairs from the root. `2,095, www.philips.co.in

Hair removal cream

Top tips

Epilator

We asked the lovely lady readers of more! magazine what they reckon about your body blanket. Here’s what they said…

66% of women think it’s unacceptable to be hairy on the beach.

35%

of women think men shouldn’t bother removing body hair. Does body hair make men more manly?

No 40%

Yes 60%

01 Take a hot shower before you epilate. The heat will stimulate hair follicles, making it less painful.

fhmindia.com

04 Hold skin taut when waxing to make sure you get all of the hair out. 05 Don’t shower before waxing. It makes hair softer and it won’t stick to the wax. 06 Make sure you exfoliate a few days after waxing. It’ll remove the dead skin that causes ingrown hairs.

05

Clippers Best for: All over Pain factor: Pros: If you’re not digging the bald-all-over look, clipping the hair is the best option for keeping it trim. Cons: It’s not ideal if you want oily smooth pecs as even on the shortest option it will leave tiny stubble. What to use: The Braun CruZer is pretty ace, it’s waterproof and has a tiny mini-trimmer perfect for those tricky areas. ` 4,999, www.flipkart.com

fhmindia • fhmindia

#4 underarm bush

03 Trim the region you’ll be using removal cream on. Cream is less effective on long hair.

#3 shoulder stragglers

Best for: Back and chest Pain factor: Pros: It lasts 3-4 weeks before you need to redo it. Cons: It will feel like you are trying to remove your skin, especially in the sensitive bits. Beware the nipple. What to use: If you’re brave enough to try this at home with any wax strip that’s available in the market, or for safety, head to your local waxing salon where it’ll cost you anywhere between ` 150 to ` 500 per body part to squeal like a pig.

#2 fuzzy tummy

Photography: Marcin Hryniewicz

Waxing

What’s grosser?

#1 back blanket

04

02 Don’t shave over the same bit too many times – this is how you get rashes.

July 2012

#5 chest

Shaving

The stats?

107


what we did this month

Corona island Monsoon project

pool, bikinis, babes and corona’s – what more can you ask for to beat this heat!

A

nother month, another kick-ass party – that’s how we guys kept our cool this hot June. FHM’s pool party along with Corona hit Tivoli Garden last month. The first edition of the four-part – Corona Island Monsoon Project, asked Delhiites to enjoy the scorching summer in an unforgettable way. The soaring temperatures did not keep us under the shade. Instead we dressed in our Sunday best, totally forgetting about them while jumping in the pool with hot bikinibabes later. The refreshing afternoon that started with relaxing on the floating pool chairs, extended to downing cold, frothy beer till the wee hours, while dancing to the tunes of entertaining DJs. And all this with the hottest dates – The FHM girls as we call them! Need we say anymore? Just that we’re sporting a tan that rewinds us of happy Goa days. 108

July 2012

a and carl

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alina

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Thank you to all our partners: presenting PARTNER

associate PARTNERS

event managed by

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July 2012

109


UPGRADE style

vers utton-lo For the b

Alberto Torresi ` 1995

Arrow ` 3999

Arrow ` 4199

slip-ons

Hush Puppies ` 2799

110

Michael jackson may have made these quite popular in his days, but loafers or slip-on shoes date back to the 1930s when they were commonly worn by the farmers of europe. picked up by the travelling americans, it became one of the most stylish pieces of fashion to own. With the abundance of loafers this season, we ask you to go sockless with few colourful and comfortable ones that are trending currently.

SBJ House of Luxury ` 8000

SBJ House of Luxury ` 8000

US Polo Assn ` 3999

Tommy Hilfiger ` 7499

Tommy Hilfiger ` 7499

Tommy Hilfiger ` 7999

July 2012

fhmindia • fhmindia

fhmindia.com


Tommy Hilfiger ` 7999

S.TENS by Enroute ` 3999

Fabi ` 16,599

US Polo Assn ` 3999

Enroute Men ` 3199

Northstar by Bata ` 1299

Enroute Men ` 2999

US Polo Assn ` 4199

US Polo Assn ` 3999

Hush Puppies ` 3499

fhmindia.com

Fabi ` 16,599

fhmindia • fhmindia

Tommy Hilfiger ` 7999

July 2012

111


1

The Silence of the Lambs (1991)

A lot of us were introduced to Anthony Hopkins’ brilliance in this psychothriller, which was brutality at its best. Even after two decades since it first hit cinemas, the superbly crafted film continues to disturb us with its cruel yet amazing picturisation.

Words: Kumar Saurav

2

House Of Wax (2005)

The ‘ugh’ factor is high in this film about the quest for survival of some teenagers stuck in a weird wax museum.

the

vampire movies

you must watch

112

July 2012

3

6 Hannibal (2001)

It isn’t practically possible to even get close to the sheer perfection of The Silence of The Lambs, but Hannibal, a follow-up of the 1991 release was a good attempt, primarily because of Hopkins’ amazing portrayal of Lecter.

4

Saw Series

The storyline of every Saw film is sick and sort of redundant, but we have to give it to the guys for treating us to the ultimate visuals that would keep even the most cynical horror fan hooked.

5

Final Destination

Like the Saw series, every Final Destination installment has the same premise – how and when you will die is predefined, so don’t even think about running away from the inevitable. However, the ways in which the characters die are really brutal and every death makes you cringe a little.

Though Saw IV didn’t click because the makers probably took the success of the first three films too lightly. Still, the Scream series remains one of the best slasher films of modern times. All the films follow murderers who disguise as Ghostface to stalk and torture their targets.

Child’s Play (1988)

You don’t always need a human to beat the shit out people. Even a deadly looking doll can do the trick. Watch this film to know what we mean.

It’s so gory that you feel like taking breathers in between the film.

fhmindia • fhmindia

Scream 1-2-3

8

Wrong Turn 1,2, 3

30 Days of Night (2007) A town engulfed by darkness for a month is attacked by bloodthirsty vampires and even the fittest are finding it hard to survive.

7

Blade 1,2,3 If you’re too critical about films, don’t watch this one, but you have to give it to the producers who managed to sustain the series.

fhmindia.com


U P G R A D E s l a s h er

WONDERFULLY

SICK FILMS When you are craving for gore, watch these films…

10

9

I Know What You Did Last Summer (2007)

Critiques hated it, but audiences made it a $125,500,000 grosser, and it also won a lot awards. Four friends go out of town to celebrate, but they accidently run over a guy. A year later, each of the friends receives a note that reads – “I know what you did last summer”, and then a mystery killer goes on killing spree.

Van Helsing (2000) Watch it for the sake of lusty vampires, classy Hugh Jackman and of course Kate Beckinsale’s hot bod and Russian accent. There is also a story in there somewhere.

Friday The 13th

When the reboot of the original Friday The 13th (1980) was announced, a lot of people said that there was no need of yet another remake because no one could recreate the horror of the original central character Jason – a killer with speed, vision and cruelest of the intentions. However, the makers dealt with Jason fabulously keeping the horror intact.

11

A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)

This film was initially planned to be on the lines of Friday The 13th, but then it was sketched out differently and thank god for that. The film spins around teenagers who are killed in their dreams by a man named Freddy Krueger (one of the best on-screen serial killers). All the victims have a common link.

Abraham Lincoln The Vampire Hunter (2012) After aliens, it’s now time for vampires to take over. However, Abraham Lincoln, the 16th president of the States stands in the way.

12

13 (2010)

My Bloody Valentine

It opened to mixed reviews, but garnered solid box office collections. The sequel of the 1981 film opens with Tom who returns to the village on the tenth anniversary of the Valentine’s Night massacre. He is suspected to be the killer and only his ex believes that Tom is innocent.

Halloween (2007)

The American slasher film delves deeper into the psyche of stalker and killer Michael Myers who stalks Laurie Strode and her friends one Halloween. This one was a good follow-up to the 1978 film of the same name.

14

Prom Night 2008

Watch this film to discover how the most beautiful moments of your life can take a tragic turn. In this top-grossing slasher, a nasty killer goes out after a group of friends who are preparing for their prom night.

Twilight A love affair between a human and a vampire is an idea that’s hard to digest, but the fourth installment of this popular series remains the best and most convincing.

fhmindia • fhmindia

July 2012

113


Have you ever thought...

why tv is no longer an idiot...

FY I

ogle While Go Apple en ev s, a h already to the in e will mov rket very ma Smart TV ch out! soon. Wat

We tell you if you should fall for the hype around smart 3D TVs What does a Smart TV offer: A

lot of Internet connected services, apps, media streaming, web browsing, games and Internet Protocol Television (IPTV). It also lets you stream content from your phone or computer. You can also watch YouTube videos and it lets you use social networking sites.

How do I connect my TV to the Internet: Just like

you connect a dongle to your laptop.

What does it not have: Email and word processing.

Video-ondemand: That’s the

future. As of now just Korea and Japan offer VOD services.

Video chat: Smart TVs offers Skype services, so by installing a webcam, you can video chat with your friends and families. Are the apps free:

Smart TVs still haven’t gained popularity, so most of the apps are free.

What else: There are currently apps for Internet radio, weather forecasts and entertainment as well as games. Are the apps transferable: No,

because every TV has different operating environments. 114

July 2012

fhmindia • fhmindia

fhmindia.com


U P G R A D E gadge t s

04

01

02

03

05

Panasonic Smart Viera TVs

The eco-friendly flat panel television can be connected to WiFi and comes loaded with features like ‘Swipe and Share’ that lets people view pictures, movies and videos on the television using a simple swipe. It not only lets you surf the web, but also watch TV and chat simultaneously. Some of the models also allow you to enjoy 3D content. Screen sizes: 24” to 55” Price: `13,990 and `3,20,000

fhmindia.com

02

LG CINEMA 3D Smart TV

This range of 3D Smart TV’s come loaded with a resolution upscaler that enhances the quality of even poorly streamed Internet videos, Also, unlike traditional 3D television that rely on split screen for multiplayer games, LG Cinema 3D Smart TV with Dual Play function lets you and your friend play video games together in full screen. Screen sizes: 32” to 72” Price: `55,000 and `7,00,000

03

Toshiba VL20

The first full HD 3D Smart TV from Toshiba features Dolby Digital and lets the users search for 2D as well as brilliant 3D visuals. Toshiba’s library for its Smart TV – Toshiba Places enables viewers to use social networking services and view content online. It also has games for users of all ages, news content, a music library and other amazing stuff. Screen sizes: 40” to 46” Price: ` 75,990 and ` 85,990

fhmindia • fhmindia

04

05

Samsung has entered the Smart 3D TV market with LED ES8000, ES7500 series and Plasma E8000 series that come loaded with Smart Interaction technology, voice control, motion control and face recognition commands that allow users to turn the TV on or off, activate selected apps or search for and select content on a web browser — all without touching the remote. Screen size: 26” to 44” Price: ` 37,700 to ` 273,000

When in doubt go with Sony. The HX925 series has a Picture Engine that processes every piece of content that passes through it. Also, the full HD picture quality ensures that even the minutest detail is not missed. Also, the Smart 3D TV is Skype ready, so you can chat while watching your favorite program. Needless to say that you get easy access to social networking sites and other Internet content. Screen sizes: 46” to 65” Price: ` 1,53,900 to ` 3,60,000

Samsung Interactive Smart TV

Sony HX925 Series

July 2012

Words: Kumar Saurav

01

115


UPGRADE food

shake and make Be at t h e heat with t h e s e e a sy to make i c e- co l d milkshakes

Mint Chocolate Shake Blend together four scoops of vanilla ice cream, 120 ml milk, 60 ml chocolate syrup and 25 ml pepper mint syrup and serve in a large tall glass. To garnish, dribble few drops of like it fresh? chocolate syrup on top in a squiggle or circular pattern.

Banana malt shake First pour 120 ml milk into a blender, followed by four scoops of vanilla ice cream, one chopped banana and two tablespoons of Bournvita or Milo. Blend it all together well and serve it in a tall glass.

go nuts

Digestive cookie shake This is a filling and yummy thick shake. Blend four scoops of butterscotch ice cream, 120 ml milk and three digestive cookies well together. Pour in a tall glass and garnish with a crushed cookie on top.

really filling

if you’re a weight watcher

2 in 1

for chocolate lovers

Double chocolate shake In a blender, pour 120 ml milk and add four scoops of chocolate ice cream followed by 60 ml of chocolate syrup. Blend till it becomes frothy and thick. Next, take a tall glass and squeeze chocolate syrup around the inner rim to line it. Pour and serve.

Abhishek Thakur, Corporate F&B trainer, Route04, Connaught Place, New Delhi

116

July 2012

berry good

Strawberry shake In a blender, blend together 120 ml milk, four scoops of strawberry ice cream, 90 ml strawberry crush and four freshly washed strawberries. Pour in a tall glass and use strawberries slit from the centre as garnish. Serve chilled.

Vaibhav Uniyal, Beverage Trainer, Hinglish, Ground Floor, Pacific Mall, New Delhi

fhmindia • fhmindia

Peanut butter vanilla shake For this thick and creamy shake, you need to blend together 120 ml milk, four scoops of vanilla ice cream and two tablespoons of peanut butter in a blender. Pour it into a tall glass and top it with a teaspoon of peanut butter.

eat the cake and drink it too

Orange and oat bran shake Pour 120 ml milk into a blender along with four scoops of vanilla ice cream, 90 ml orange pulp and two tablespoons of oat bran. Blend and serve in a tall glass. To garnish, sprinkle some oat bran. You can also replace orange with mangoes.

Cake shake Pour 120 ml milk, 50 gms of Mississippi Mud Cake (easily available at bakeries or dessert shops) and four scoops of vanilla ice cream in a blender. Keep blending until the ingredients become a thick shake and then use some crushed cake as garnishing.

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U P G R A D E c h eat i n g

Cheating Alert!

This isn't her boyfriend!

We asked FHM cheaters:

How many times have you cheated on holiday?

62% Once 33% Two to five times 3% Six to 10 times 2% Never

Our friends at more! magazine asked their readers:

how far has your holiday cheating gone?

Holiday hook-ups

Is Your Girlfriend

Playing Away This Summer? FHM asks whether a trip abroad brings out the secret cheater in all of us…

Everyone remembers the first time they left their girlfriend to go on a boys’ holiday filled with sun, sea and – if you’re part of a growing group of holiday cheaters – sex. So what if we told you that there’s a good chance your girlfriend will be doing the nasty on her trip to Prague this summer? That’s right. After 118

July 2012

years of being tarred with the sweet and innocent brush, more and more not-sosingle ladies are jetting off to flirt and f… you get the idea. Having heard that holiday cheating is on the up, FHM took to the streets and the Internet to find out about what goes on when guys and girls hit the sand and sangrias… fhmindia • fhmindia

35% Cheeky snog 35% Frantic beach fumbling 24% Back to the hotel 6% Going down on him behind the club

MAN FACT A 2008 study from Bowdoin University on holiday depression says that 56% of men and 42% of women will cheat on their partners during the holiday season

fhmindia.com


Nine things that… You only do at a POOL party

9

Pretend you aren’t into white chicks

Never mind that you’ve never seen so many white girls in their chaddies since that postcard from Miami on someone’s desk. You must not stare – you don’t want people to think you’re a creep or worse still, that you haven’t ever seen a white girl in a bikini. Especially since you’ve been secretly adding, trading and bumping off white girl participants to your imaginary orgy ever since you got there. Tragically, your only picture from the party has you staring at their crotch.

8

Pretend you don’t care about your new iPhone Sure, you casually flung your new iPhone onto a lounge chair pretending your father owns

120

July 2012

HDFC bank. Truth is you saved up for 6 months to buy the 4S on installments and all you are worried about is getting a drop of water on it. So what if the really hot Brazilian girl had a Carol Gracias moment

reached out inside your shirt to scratch those babies. They also probably thought you were fondling yourself. All men do that, don’t they?

Pretend the irregular hair growth on your leg doesn’t bother you You could have lived with a torn cartilage and not twisting your knee for the rest of your life, but why the hell did the doctor have to shave your leg for the surgery. You’re convinced the hair on the right leg is longer and to make matters worse, for some strange reason they’re beginning to resemble your pubes.

7

3

Nurse a drink With each drink you down, you lose a little of your ability to hold your gut in. After six of them, the odds of you remembering to hold in your gut are about as high as Schumacher winning the championship again. You then embark on the slowest drink of your life, while the bloke with a 2-pack next to you necking the party hottie downs beer with the urgency of a marooned whale.

6

Wear extra control underwear and loose shorts It’s a pool party. It is going to involve temperature fluctuations, visible nipples, hot legs and the like. And since you’ve seen one naked woman all your life, the odds of some involuntary action happening in your pants are higher than the current government being booted out of power. Despite what the net told you, no girl thinks it’s a compliment, unless of course you are paying 500 bucks a minute to “talk” to her.

2

5

be proud of your nipples So what if you keep thinking about the email comparing Tushar Kapoor’s nips in a movie poster to Totapuri mangoes or the tattoo of a well-hung alien on your back… Secretly you know your nipples are pointier than the aforementioned gent and 12-year-old kids can come up with better concepts for a tattoo, but sucking in your stomach and blowing your chest out will take care of that. Who cares if others wonder why you look like you just swallowed a mouse.

4

Shave your armpits So what if the very next day you’d have to use an industrial filer to scratch them and so what if the last time you shaved your armpits, everyone in the boardroom had paused to look as you ‘discreetly’

fhmindia • fhmindia

Encourage your girlfriend to wear a bikini Even though you had an aneurism the last time she wore a tube top and three conjoined cows each time she wore shorts – why shouldn’t she wear a bikini? It’s a pool party, what’s she going to wear – a salwar kameez? You can always walk around with her like a bodyguard scanning the crowd looking to body slam anyone checking her out.

1

Stare at men and fat chicks So what if the guy across the pool suddenly wonders why you’ve been checking him out for a quarter of an hour. In reality, you looked at him half hour ago – prayed that you got Hrithik Roshan’s abs in the next minute and moved on to staring at a woman with enough rolls of fat to make a truck tyre as she splashes around the pool in a bikini while you think about how good a YouTube video it would make.

See you next month… fhmindia.com

Words: Kabeer Sharma

or her hotter friend is dragging you into the pool. It’s a goddamn Apple – you’d rather go home and Google Spring Break videos on it.


DCP No. DELENG 17964


FHM India - July 2012