Issuu on Google+


“I have come to a realization that women all over the world are made to feel this way everyday through lower paying jobs, abusive relationships, and the inability to be educated properly, if at all.” -#ALTRUISM


For most of my life I have been forced to have an Altruistic frame of mind when it comes to men, and I’m tired of it; Altruism: Behavior done by an animal that is not beneficial to or may be harmful to itself but that benefits others of its species. The first instance where I strongly felt this way was in my first, and last, relationship; even though at the time I was unfamiliar with the term “Altruism.” During my first relationship, I didn’t fully know what I was doing, in regards to how to act, react, and communicate with the man I was with. So as a result, I let a lot of feelings and emotions harbor and I didn’t speak up for myself…leading me to resent the person I was with. We broke up after maybe two months. Since then I have been extremely careful with whom I allow into my life…period. To be labeled “too emotional” has been seen as a weakness by the men I have invited into my life for as long as I can remember. In response to this, I would tailor my reactions. This resulted in self-loathing, as well as a bothersome conscience that has rewarded me with sleepless nights of questioning my demeanor, personality, and unwarranted guilt for reacting in certain ways. Well…Fuck That! For centuries, women have been forced to bind their emo-

tions and true feelings towards men, business, and love. But, for what? So others don’t feel as bad about offending you…or so men will love you…or so your boss will promote you. It’s the society that we thrive in that looks at us as, simply, “beautiful fools” who are creatures of pure emotion and nothing else. I have to say that I totally disagree! We are Mother Nature and we should be respected as such. We have birthed a global community of individuals who have lost sight of that. Our emotion, compassion, and selflessness is NOT a weakness— it’s a strength that men have yet to recognize. I refuse to have my fire dimmed because of ignorance. ######################### I recently came across a male friend, who I was really falling for—a fellow “self-starter,” with the inner essence of Kanye West’s prodigy; a guy who I enjoyed talking to and sharing my dreams with—among other things. He was actually a guy I could see myself taking over the world with someday. When I told him my dreams of having five children in the future, he proceeded to tell me all the things wrong with my plan and how it would never work. He told me that my oldest child would probably resent me for having to take care of their siblings. He also mentioned how I would


have to be a stay-at-home mother and wouldn’t be able to run a business and take care of my children thoroughly and simultaneously. I was shocked and taken fully aback by these comments that were basically questioning the realism behind my goals and dreams, not to mention my womanhood. He made it seem like there is no historical example of a successful business-woman who has fully participated in her children’s lives while running a business. To be honest I was truly hurt behind these comments. For as long as I have known him, maybe five years, I have done nothing but encourage his dreams and goals, and to have him tear mine limb from limb was simply unacceptable; I eventually forced myself to disregard my own emotions, for his. He must of sensed my pause because he asked me what was wrong. Instead of telling him to go fuck himself, I simply said “Nothing, I’m Good”; a response far from the truth. The reason why I responded this way was so I wouldn’t make him feel uncomfortable or negatively change the mood between us; true Altruism. I put up the “Happy Go-Lucky” front the rest of the time I was with him. In return, that night I couldn’t sleep a wink. I was so mad at myself for disregarding my own feelings for a man, none-the-less. I have come to a realization that women all over the world are made to feel this way everyday through lower paying jobs, abusive relationships, and the inability to be educated properly, if at all. But I digress. The next morning I sent an enraged text to my male friend, which

probably blindsided him, but I refused to live with that monkey on my back keeping me from claiming my true self-worth and demanding the respect that I, along with every woman, deserves. He now doesn’t answer my calls or texts, which is probably for the best, I must admit. I honestly don’t need that energy in my space. Still pondering this situation, I randomly asked my Ex whether he thought I was crazy because he too has been through my “emotional wrath” in the recent years. He made it clear that my emotions were too much; I asked him why he even still talked to me if I was that much of a handful, and he admitted that he may be a little crazy himself. But, what exactly does that mean? Why is expressing your true emotions seen as being crazy or weak? Are we all really that terrified to be labeled “crazy”; especially by a society that forces us to suppress our true emotions for the benefit of the many. In summation, no one deserves to have their emotions tossed to the waist-side and disregarded; they are just as relevant and important as anyone else’s. If we don’t speak up for our own benefit, no one else will. Our feelings are what make us human, and as a human I refuse to be told how to feel about anything…anywhere…at anytime.