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Edition 1

A zine about the daily frustrations of being ‘other’


I’M THIS

OTHER

SHADE


I made this zine because I’m sick and tired of hearing other people’s version of who or what I am. I am only just realising that I’ve spent my life trying to fit into an acceptable box that somebody else drew for me. I’m tired of it. But it runs so deep. I don’t have all the answers, but conversations with others alongside reading, thinking and sharing experiences are helping me to make sense of it. Now I need to unlearn.


I wish I was tanned like you, you’re so... exotic... I’m so boring and pale

Feel free babe..

- School friend, age 15


It gets exhausting speaking about yourself in fractions..

,

test A N D took a 100% t s u j I I’m t u o s turn TCH I B T THA

When my mom brought home her new Iranian boyfriend, my Nigerian grandad called him a Paki.

- Lizzo


and I am tired

They get heavy

The truth is that I carry your words around like weights in my pocket


passing when people say they don’t see colour it means they don’t see racism when people say they don’t see colour of course they can’t see me when people say they don’t see colour it means they won’t see my struggle

White people on the internet when white people say “White people” on the internet everybody laughs but when I say it they get upset and pull out the imaginary skin colour chart

Niall Singh is a mixed media artist based in Birmingham. He specialises in poetry and song. He’s an awesome human. Go check him out at niallsinghpoet.wordpress.com


Grandparents Susan, Scottish and Fred, Nigerian. Susan was cut off from her whole family, apart from one sister, our dear Aunty Effie, because she was with Fred. Aunty Effie told her to be with whoever she wanted but begged her not to have children with Fred ‘because they won’t be accepted by either side’.


Your cousin David can pass as white Your cousin David can pass as white Your cousin David can pass as white Your cousin David passed as white Your cousin David passed as white Your cousin David passed as white Your cousin David passed

I always wondered if I failed the test without even taking it. Did David even want to pass as white? Did it open doors for him that were closed for me? Our mothers are sisters.


FUCK OFF “LUCKY TO BE LIGHT SKINNED” Say what you really mean. Lucky not to be dark skinned, My mother had this message so engrained into her brain that she passed it on to me. “People will think you’re Spanish or Brazilian.” I’m not. I’m not hiding. I’m not ashamed.


if i should be grateful for your acceptance then

what does that say about us?


y parents m n e t a e r h k girl... c I used to t a l b a e m o ng h with bringi ally really like you. tu but they ac

nd, age 16

- First boyfrie

You’re not really Iranian if you don’t speak Farsi. Why didn’t your dad teach you?

- Friend of Aunt’s, first meeting, 2020

ck.

s bla a u o y f o k ’t thin

I don

ork, 2020

- Wor

white, at w k colleague,


Painting by Fabiana Ardelino


When I decided I was actually going to make this zine, I knew it was going to be difficult and mean digging into things I have tried to bury my whole life. I kept putting it off and some of the things I did to distract myself were yoga and making cards for friends. I’m now on day 58 of daily yoga and have sent over 25 cards. Here are a few of them...


Thank you Niall Singh and Mrinal Kundu for the chats and sharing your experiences. You made me brave enough to do this. These are conversations we need to have. Follow @mixedrage on Instagram DM to contribute to the next edition. I want to hear your story. I am Sevonah Golabi, and I’d love to hear from you. @sev_ahh on Instagram xx Tony Bhajam and Harley Davies, thank you for the tech support, friendship and encouragement always xx Cody Lee, thank you for making everything so much prettier and working your design magic Antony Bradley, you keep me strong xx


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Profile for Sevonah

Mixed Rage Zine: Edition 1  

A zine about the daily frustrations of being 'other'. Exploring experiences of racism, confusion over belonging and identity. This first edi...

Mixed Rage Zine: Edition 1  

A zine about the daily frustrations of being 'other'. Exploring experiences of racism, confusion over belonging and identity. This first edi...

Profile for sevonah
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