Volume 6, Issue 8 National Hairball Awareness Day April 24, 2009
There is a storm rising on By: craig T. Nelson the interweb. Well, not really rising, more like it is unknown because we gaining in vitality and didn't want to do the horror. This storm, for research, has a boisterous those who are unaware, is demeanor and horrible s xe p h i l , a v i d e o stage presence (although bloggernaut who has been he is very well dressed). on the wonders of He is loud, obscene in YouTube for a little over some instances, and quite two years now. This suave possibly homosexual and (though he has publicly smarmy young gentleman takes whatever denied this so we believe bits of news and worldly him...). Quite honestly, he minutia he deems worthy is just a dude doing his thing (watching him do and pieces together commentaries for his avid "that" costs extra though). fan base. He's basically the One thing I have noticed in east coast equivalent of watching his video rants is your beloved Ramdiculous that he reminds me a lot, Page, although slightly less because of his voice, cool cause he's from New mannerisms, and speech York. Sxephil, real name pattern, of the guys who
Picture of the week They’ll take you too...
Angelo State’s Finest Paper Since Fall 2006
Continued on page 3
Quote of I’ve got an electric field the Week passing through my area. Knowing Knature
By: D’ino I’talles
I had just finished watching a movie Our ideas about the future are is boring. It is also wrong.” Quantum same outcome, but a few will deviate with a friend of mine when I changed deeply rooted in physics. Classical shows us that the only predictable from the norm. Science still works, so physics worked for centuries and it’s part of the world is the most likely I will breathe a sigh of relief. the channel to find The Matrix event. The statistical nature of the Reloaded was already in progress. easy enough that it dominates our Although I was pleased by this find, philosophical understanding of world provides “choice” to the most Most characters in the Matrix she groaned at the sight of it and nature. If I push on an object, it will fundamental building blocks of the thought with the tired deterministic began to complain. “Change the move in a predictable path. Under universe. The Heisenberg Uncertainty dogma of a computer. No one quite channel. I can’t watch this. It makes identical circumstances, the exact Principle is really saying that we can’t knew what to make of Neo because no sense.” I hear this quite often and same outcome will always result. have all the information about a he was the result of an anomaly, which shouldn’t be possible within I still feel like I have to defend this Every effect has a cause, and one system, so we can’t know the movie. This is a movie that disguises cause always leads to the same outcome with 100% certainty. the programming of a computer. But several philosophical studies behind effect. This is known as causality or Classical physics still works because he made his own fate and defied bullets, trench coats, and fights. Even determinism. But this becomes a we hardly ever notice quantum reason with his notion of choice. more appealing to me is that the problem when you consider that the effects on the scale that we live in. premise of the movie follows the present and future are set and debate between the classical and determined by the past. This suggests Although we can’t predict what a And because many people cite quantum understandings of our that the future is already written and single atom can do, we can predict determinism as a conflict between we have no free will. So why are you what a large number of atoms will do world. religion and science, I will pose two here? As the Merovingian noted, with great confidence. This is rooted questions to you. If everything is in the idea of entropy introduced by The prime example is Neo’s refusal to “choice is an illusion.” thermodynamics. Everyone describes already decided and we’re just here accept fate. The Oracle tells him that he is only doing what he is destined But before you get depressed on me, it as “disorder” and “disorder always to understand it, what is God doing? to. Smith talks about inevitability and I will provide you with a quote from increases,” but it just means that the And if you believe that you have Morpheus talks about prophesy. The my quantum physics book. system tends to simplify itself to a morals and ethics, how different are Merovingian tells Neo that he has no “Determinism is a dehumanizing more uniform and predictable state, you from everyone else? choices and is bound by causality. philosophy. It describes a universe or what we would call “ideal” when that is infinitely predictable, holding we should say “easier to study.” Just And the Architect, perhaps the least understood character, describes Neo few surprises. All can be known; as people with a choice, most nothing is unexpected. Determinism particles tend to conform to the as a “systemic anomaly.”
Darwin Awards January 28, 2001 Note from Darwin: The man may have thought Japan A man attempting to commit suicide brought a tank of propane into his apartment, opened its stopcock, and waited to die. Instead he merely lost consciousness. Four hours later he revived and, forgetting the suicide attempt, lit a cigarette. The explosion blew out an apartment wall, and burned the face of the suicidal smoker.
We are your voice, the voice of the Students of Angelo State. Be heard, we would like to know what you love about ASU, what you hate about ASU and what you think needs to be changed around here. We are here for YOU! If you have a comment, complaint, concern, or question, don’t hesitate to contact us. Via email email@example.com, via phone (325) 942‐2063, via our suggestion box in the UC, in our office UC 133 or even come attend our meetings at 6 PM on Monday nights.
the tank contained carbon monoxide (CO) despite the label. Even if it contained CO, however, the suicide attempt would fail unless he had shut himself into a small space with the t a n k . Apartments a r e ventilated and the carbon monoxide would dissipate fairly rapidly. Outside air exchange also explains why the explosion was not more severe.
o p e r a t e askaninja.com. I Continued from cover would speculate that he is that guy also, but that would be giving undue credit. We here at the R a m d i c u l o u s Pa ge , a n d o n ramdiculous.com, salute this young guy for his humor, rantabilities, and snappy sweater vests. Check him out on the interweb, you shan’t be disappointed. ‐‐Craig T Nelson, internet junkie
Awkwardness... When you are walking down the hall in Texan and someone lets out a massive bowel movement.
WTF!?!?!?!?! By:Krazy Kendra
now an interactive media experience
ADVERTISE WITH US.
If you would like your ad to appear in the Hey friends, it’s me again, yours should be a college kid discount Ramdiculous Page, please contact us at firstname.lastname@example.org truly, Krazy Kendra. Hope every‐ for college kids who don’t have one had a good Easter break. My any money like me. What if they Advertising Guidelines WTF moment belongs to the made food stamp‐like coupons airport today. I was searching for airplanes and all the other 1. Deadline for ads to be submitted is 1:00pm the Tuesday before publication. flights online and I came across fun stuff in the world. That something really stupid. A flight would be so awesome!!!! 2. Ads will be received only if they are complete. Ramdiculous Page will not create any ads. from DFW to here at 4:30pm was Besides, planes can have crazy nearly 600 dollars. All the other people on them too. When I got 3. Ad size will not exceed one‐quarter of a page. flights were only $130. I don’t to the gate I could recognize 4. Organizations/events may have more than one ad, but no know why it’s like that but I people going to San Angelo from organization/event will be allowed more than one‐quarter probably don’t care either. everyone else in the entire of a page in ad space. That’s whole encounter was airport. Airplanes should really downright ramdiculous. No one consider college discounts, for Ramdiculous Page will not advertise for any off‐campus event is seriously going to pay that real. except in certain circumstances,* or anything of questionable much to fly here. I swear that nature. This includes but is not limited to: some airlines are just freaking • alcohol crazy. I had things to do that day • drugs but I’m not going to sit here and • tobacco pay nearly 600 dollars for an • illegal activities hour flight. Have these people *Exceptions to this rule will be determined the staff of lost their ever lovin’ minds? This Ramdiculous Page is exactly why I don’t fly anywhere anymore. Crazy airline companies want to charge crazy prices at some crazy rates. There
You see this dead space? WRITE FOR THE RAMDICULOUS!!! Contact us at: email@example.com
PERKS FREE FOOD sometimes Fun underground activities Sweet ass name badges Get to see the paper before it’s printed Participate in PODCASTS Resume BUILDER Ride in limos Go sledding in spring Play golf
Pragmatic Patsy, despite the understand on your own. I would slough of letters received from also like to publicize the fact that ASU students over spring break, the MFT is now factored into would like to discuss other issues. some student’s course grades. As a senior graduating this spring, This is so that students will have I would like to let you know that an incentive to study and perform here at ASU, you have been well on this exam. This exam will lacking a key ingredient in a prove useless to most students college experience. Something but serves as a key performance you always expected you would indicator for the department to get out of your years at such a use to get more funding. fine institute of higher learning as Teachers are now more con‐ this—and something that would cerned with the advancement of benefit you throughout the rest their own department than the of your life—whether it bears quality of their students’ directly on your occupation or education. Bickering and rivalries not. That key item, ladies and between departments produce gentlemen, is an education. Per‐ not more productivity and better haps everything else you imag‐ quality, but ineffectiveness and ined—rampant promiscuity, keg preoccupation. Running ASU as if parties, drunken shenanigans, it is a business or company, rather and intramural softball are pre‐ than an institute of higher sent. But I am telling you that you learning, will prove to be are paying good money to NOT ineffective in the long run. A receive an education. And not reputation for academic only are you paying good money, excellence, or at least a better your parents and perhaps other one than it has now, is being family members, not to mention replaced with fancy televisions, the taxpayers in the state of benches, awnings, a 99% Texas are subsidizing a system in acceptance rate, new dorms and which students do not learn a buildings, and entrance signs with damn thing. Case in point (not to five figure price tags. The costs of be confused with point in case… this new policy have already which means nothing…): manifested: the faculty who are committed to quality education A required class for all business are moving on, and the value of majors, one that I will not name, an ASU degree is declining. You requires that students pay get to look forward to being less *extra* because it is an competitive in the marketplace “independent study” course. In because of consumerism applied other words, we pay extra to to education. These policies are teach ourselves in a subject area damaging to students and the lack of foresight on the part of the that does not lend itself to independent study. Questions are administration will prove to “welcome,” but as so many of us eventually decrease enrollment find out, when we do go ask an and work against all the lofty instructor a question, that instruc‐ goals of this administration. tor does nothing but make us feel like morons. The class grade is E‐mail advice questions and other c o m m e n t s t o based on group projects, individual homework assignments firstname.lastname@example.org. and tests—all related to material Tenderly, that you are expected to read and Pragmatic Patsy
Types of shoes
10. tennis shoes 9. stilettos 8. moccasins 7. Crocs 6. boots 5. wingtip 4. wedges 3. Chuck Taylors 2. flip flops 1. NO shoes
Who’s This? Jump online to tell us who this is… RAMDICULOUS.COM
Last Weeks Correct Submissions Our editor… Foghorn Leghorn come on people
The Incredible Question If you got a check for a million dollars in the mail, how would you spend it? I would invest, pay off my debt, and tell my Dad to retire.
‐Jenn Prichard 4 words... homeless shelter demolition derby
I would invent a time machine and keep it in my closet just in case I ever needed it.
‐Karina Rios I would buy a million Jr. Bacon Cheeseburgers from Wendy’s
If I EVER got a check for a million dollars, I would know it was a mistake and have to return it.
Movie Times FIGHTING OBSESSED 12:0pm 2:35pm 5:10pm 11:15am 1:55pm 4:35pm 7:45pm 10:20pm 7:15pm 9:55pm STATE OF PLAY 17 AGAIN 1:05pm 4:05pm 7:10pm 11:20am 12:40am 2:00pm 10:10pm 3:20pm 4:40pm 6:00pm 7:20pm 8:40pm 10:00pm CRANK: HIGH VOLTAGE 12:20am 2:25pm 5:25pm THE SOLOIST 7:50pm 10:15pm 1:20pm 4:10pm 7:00pm 9:50pm
Ramdiculous Observances Saturday–
Bulldogs Are Beautiful
Worker’s Memorial Day
Hug An Australian Day
Crank: High Voltage
National Dance Day Thursday-
National Honesty Day
Morse Code Day
Hello ASU Campus. It is I, as the first one left off, with your beloved Movie Chev Chelios lying on the Reviewer Guy. This week I street in LA after falling out bring to you an action film of a helicopter. Chelios has that I am glad a his heart, and I do sequel was made mean his actual for. I the story of heart and not a the first was metaphor for love, amazing and I was stolen from him by totally looking a gang. As Chelios forward to seeing runs around LA the new when I first searching for his heard about last organ, he is November. Also, constantly having Jason Statham is to keep charged very good actor. Now, let us his artifical heart so his body adjust this review to max, it will keep on living. Building is time for Crank: High get blown up and people are Voltage. killed. Typical action film but hey it is worth seeing. I The sequel to the first action give it 5 bangs on a gong. packed movie is not a let See you next week! DUESES! down in anyway. The ^_^ second one picks up as soon P
Published every Friday and available to students on campus. This newspaper does not express the opinions of any writer, editor, or anyone affiliated with Angelo State University or the Texas Tech University System or this newspaper. We welcome all letters. Please include your name, position, and an email address. All submissions are considered property of the Ramdiculous Page and will not be returned. Submit your letters via our email, email@example.com or website www.ramdiculous.com. Opinions in any letter or writing are not necessarily those of the staff, nor should any opinion expressed in a public forum be construed as the opinion or policy of the administration or the Ramdiculous Page. By submitting anything to the Ramdiculous Page, you are giving the Ramdiculous Page permission to use your Facebook and/or Myspace profile in any way the Ramdiculous Page deems usable, unless expressed in writing. If you are an professor you need not worry, we will not use your profiles.