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serenitywoman.com JULY 2009

FEATURED ARTICLE:

My Spiritual Renewal PAGE 6

5 Ways To Fire Your Hairstylist

Foot Health

and Pedicures

The Mask I Wear www.serenitywoman.com


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Reading Serenity Woman Magazine may cause side effects such as late night giggling, an overwhelming desire to help someone along the way, increase awareness, and warm fuzzy feelings about life in general. Once you receive it, place it next to your bed, a favorite chair, in your quiet place, or any special place you have. Take a few minutes out of each day to reach over and read! Start from the back, middle or front -it doesn’t matter. Take your time and read the articles or even laugh a little, whatever you desire, just enjoy and keep reading, before you know it, you’ll be counting the days until the next issue arrives.

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INSIDE THIS ISSUE 5 Ways To Fire Your Hairstylist

4-5 It is our goal to meet the needs of every

My Spiritual Renewal

6-7 are doing and what we can do or change to

woman possible. Please let us know how we

make Serenity Woman a better experience for you and other women.

Six O’Clock - Book Review

8

The Mask I Wear

9 simply share your feedback with us, don’t

If you wish to advertise, ask a question or

hesitate to reach out.

Train Rides in Life Foot Health and Pedicures

10-11 13

Balancing Your Body, Mind, 14-15 Soul and Spirit in the Recession

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FEATURED ARTICLE

My Spiritual Renewal PG 6

Serenity Woman Magazine 07/09


5 Ways To Fire Your Hairstylist By: Katrina Spencer

But I hated when a client of mine led me to believe that they were happy with their services and you see them out and about wearing a hairstyle you know you didn't give them.

We've all been there. Your hairstylist has just finished your hair, she spins you around to look at yourself in the mirror and you're horrified to see the creation on your head. “It looks great doesn't it?” she says, spraying your already cement-hard locks with hair spray. “It's…Well, it's something,” you say. You don't have the heart to tell her that this isn't what you asked for. So you bite your tongue and pay, all the while wondering if you have a hat in your car you can use to hide your hair until you run to the beauty supply store to do it all over again. The worst part of it all, is when she asks if you want to make an appointment for next week, and you nod your head yes. As a retired hairstylist myself, I can tell when my clients are not happy. But I also know that I can't please everybody. 4 Serenity Woman Magazine 07/09

And I especially hated when they would run and hide, scared for me to see their new hairstyle. So ladies, if you don't feel like you and your stylist are on the same wavelength then you have the right to fire them. And here's how: Tell Your Stylist Immediately When You Don't Like Something-Now I'm not saying you have to be picky about every little thing, I mean they're stylists not miracle workers. But if you know that your hair doesn't resemble the picture you brought in, tell them. Give Them A Chance To Correct the Problem-It wouldn't be fair for you to tell your stylist that your hair is ugly and not give them ample chance to fix it. Maybe there was a lack of communication, or your stylist misunderstood what you wanted. Whatever it was, give her a chance to fix it. Three Strikes and Your Out-Was this the first time your stylist messed up your hair? If it was, then chalk it up to her having a bad day. But if this is a regular problem then it's time to fire her. Give Her a Phone Call-No one likes to be embarrassed. So going off on your stylist in front of the whole salon won't solve the problem in fact it will only cont. on pg.5


cont. from pg.4

make it worse. So calmly give your stylist a call and let them know why you have to find a new stylist. Explain that it has nothing to do with them personally, but that you need to find someone who is on the same page as you. Whatever you do, stay calm, yet firm. Don't give her a chance to suck you back in. When it's over, it's over. Don't Go to Another Stylist In the Same Salon-This is a big no-no. If you have always admired the work of another stylist that works in the same salon, you can't switch over to her. It's like dating one of your friend's ex-boyfriends you don't do it. Plus, do you really feel like seeing your former stylist all the time? Save yourself some dignity and find another salon to frequent. We all know there are plenty of them. So next time you leave the salon looking like Buckwheat, remember that you can fire your stylist. It’s how you do it, that’s important. Katrina Spencer is a freelance writer and the author of Six O’clock, which takes place in a high-end hair salon. Visit her website at katrinaspencer.com and check out her blog, Curl up and Write, a witty take on comparing hairstyling to writing. She can be reached at: contactme@katrinaspencer.com

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My Spiritual Renewal By: Cheryl L. Preston

The journey of life is the most unpredictable ride you have the pleasure of experiencing. It is amazing how the episodes of your youth come streaming through during adulthood. We as humans make situations in our own lives harder by not listening to that inner voice. Instead we rely on defenses built up by disappointment experienced while growing up. For instance trust, our foundation for trust is first laid with our parents. When you are a baby and you are hungry you trust that you will be fed, changed when wet and soothed when upset. And this grows as we get older, we trust that our caretakers will ensure food on the table, a roof over our heads, clothes on our back, and the encouragement to achieve anything we may dream of. If these needs are not met it causes us to feel as if the only person that we can depend on is ourselves and not God. This is where the interference between us and God occurs.

generational curse of both mental and physical abuse. Through my different experiences in life I have taken a stand to break that cycle with my children and grandchildren. I didn't grow up with Ward or June Cleaver as parents. My mother and father divorced when I was 10 and my mother had to make a way the best way she knew how. My childhood was surrounded by those characters your mother warned you about. So I had a number of different caretakers to step in while my mother was busy providing a roof over my head. So the only person I could trust and rely on was the only one that was there “ME.” It is good to be self reliant, but it can be a drawback if there is too much of it. With this way of compensating it is hard to hear the voice of God when the only one you hear is your own.

This is what prompted me to write my first book “Deception & Betrayal By Any Means Necessary.” I needed to take a step back and just look at what was really happening in my life and why I was still unhappy though I had so much. I was taking on the persona of my mother, always away from home to provide a home. I began to see the toll it was taken on my children. I had to stop, I was not about to let the streets take my babies as they done to others. I had to start by first renewing my relationship with God by trusting in his word and love. I formed a team with This was my main issue trust. I was brought up in a family with a some of the neighborhood parents to 6 Serenity Woman Magazine 07/09


take back our legacy. I am not saying it was that simple, because there were things I had to fix within myself. Pains of the past I had to overcome and let go of in order to move forward. It was not easy, but with the love that I have for my children I will go to no ends to save them. I can say that it was more than worth it. I now have a relationship with my children and grandchildren that I would not trade for all the money in the world. I also have a fiancÊ in my life that provides a stable support system whenever I am in need or feeling low. My life experiences and working with other parents have inspired me to want to open a help center for battered and abused women and children. I would just like to make a difference by helping people realize that we all were created with a gift and not to give up on life. No matter what issues you may be going through in life, trust, money, relationship, etc‌. just remember keep an open line to that inner voice of God because he will always guide you on the right path. Here are a few points of building a good relationship with your children

*Place no man, woman, or material possession above your children *Listen at the things they have to say and want to do *Your first role is that of parent, but don't be afraid to also be their friend *Don't be afraid to accept constructive criticism from your children, say I am sorry, it is never to late to make a change *Remember parents your children are not your punching bags nor were they put here for us to verbally abuse, they have feelings just as we do *Also every child is different and should be treated accordingly and should be shown love equally *Allow your kids to make mistakes, we have made our own, and we will continue to make them until we pass on.

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Six O’clock Join our Book Club

Yolanda Peterson has a cool apartment, good friends and family, and a new promotion to assistant manager at Behave, an upscale hair salon in Houston. But there's just one problem. Yolanda's thin. Not model thin, more like, give-her-anotherchicken-leg thin.

It doesn't help that everyone says she has a pretty face, while shaking their head at her lackluster body. It doesn't help that her younger sister, Daddy's favorite, has curves in all the right places, a gorgeous husband and three spoiled kids. It doesn't help that she works at a job where big butts and big breasts reign supreme. And it really doesn't help that the man she's been in love with for years, Maxwell, just wants to be “friends.� After years of getting teased and tortured for her thin appearance, (and being nicknamed Six by her father because her body resembles the clock hands at the six o'clock hour), Yolanda does something she should have done a long time ago: She gets mad! With newborn confidence, wit, and a lot of determination Yolanda struggles to find love and herself in this delicious tale of beauty coming from within. Six O'clock is an intoxicating novel that marks the debut of a fresh new voice in fiction. Six O'clock is available at fine bookstores nationwide and also online at Amazon and BN.com

Katrina Spencer will now be reviewing books for Serenity Woman Magazine. Have a book you want reviewed? E-mail her at: bookclub@serenitywoman.com . Please note that Katrina doesn't review books that contain erotic, sexual themes, excessive bad language, and extreme violence.

8 Serenity Woman Magazine 07/09


The Mask I Wear By: Andrea’ Porter

Who am I? I asked myself, God, and the mirror hanging on my wall. I am a single mother, nurturing , patient, loving and kind. Tiredness caresses my eyes, from working two jobs just to get by. Still I smile, when all I want to do is cry. I am a wife, submissive, s we e t , d o c i l e a n d broken down. I am a yes woman. Whatever you say baby, dinner will be on the table soon. All the while inside, I'm depressed, feeling oppressed, ninety percent drenched in grieve like the stench of rotten meat. Still I smile and go on being this man's wife. I am a daughter not a perfect one by any means. Emancipated or is it Fabricated? I look for validation from a parent who could care less about my woes and blues. Still I smile, the perfect daughter, no time to cry. GRAND OPENING!!! I am a friend who is afraid to open up and let you in, afraid my secrets told to you will meet me in the streets. Therefore, when you're around I say nothing and skirt around the topic when The Raleigh Black Chamber of I'm the object of discussion. I am me Commerce invites you to join us today. Today, I peel off the many masks I Monday, July 20, 2009 wear. Today I am free, free to live my life Marbles Museum the way God designed it to be. Today I located downtown Raleigh take back my power and walk in my destiny. Receive a discount on membership Andrea' Porter with the chamber when you sign up A u t h o r / P u b l i s h e r / M o t i vat i o n a l before July 20, 2009 Speaker bmpublications@sbcglobal.net Contact Nicole Eason-Melvin www.andreaporter.net 919-573-1811 www.boldmovespublications.net www.therbcc.com www.serenitywoman.com


Train Rides in Life By: Joy R. Brown

Recently, I had the opportunity to travel via train to Bridgeport, Connecticut to

visit relatives. I was excited with great anticipation of this ride. This was my first venture on a train. However, as I prepared to embark upon this trip, I did not realize the revelation that would be revealed to me. Several important facts were magnified as I reminisced about this journey via train. The first point was the delay in the arrival of the train. The departure time was 1:45 am on Saturday morning. My family and I arrived at the train station in Rocky Mount, NC on time. Our great anticipation and excitement dwindled when the announcer reported a delay in departure. The kids became restless and irritable because of the limited resources available to keep them occupied. The adults became just as frustrated as the kids. However, the Holy Ghost revealed to me that this was the era in my life that I 10 Serenity Woman Magazine 07/09

was presently experiencing. I have been praying for specific events in my life. At the time that I thought it was going to arrive, the Holy Ghost announced there would be a delay. When I received the Word from the Lord that my promise was coming but it was on delay, I became frustrated, irritated, and restless. I had prepared myself and waited anxiously for the arrival of my departure and now God is saying, “not yet.” Lesson number one, because God made us a promise, it shall be fulfilled. However, as the promise is en route to its destination, interruptions will occur. This type of interruption has been coined “delayed but not denied. The second lesson occurred when I was settled on the train. It was dark with a small amount of lighting entering the area that I was seated. The attendant apologized for separating my cousin and I from the rest of the family but however proceeded to seat us in the front. I became restless, of course, not aware of my surroundings or what to expect on this long journey. Finally, an attendant came by and introduced himself to me. I began asking questions…inquisitive minds want to know. He found my questions extremely amusing. Why? I don't know but it was a conversation that transposed my mind from boredom back to anticipation. He finally asked if this was my first train ride. Of course I responded with, “Why yes? How did you ever guess?” He offered to take me cont. on pg.11


cont. from pg.10

on a tour of the train. So, he bececkoned me to follow him but to watch my steps and hold on to the rails when possible. He showed me the lounge area, the sleepers, the restaurant and the deli. After the tour, he said if you need any thing, just call me. Lesson number two, when you are in an unfamiliar area in your life, always look for the attendant, who is God, to lead you safely through. He will never lead you down a path, where He is not able to protect and keep you. Just follow His directions and you will never go wrong. The third lesson occurred when the train frequently stopped throughout the journey. Every time the train would slow down and come to a complete stop, I would prepare myself to gather my bags to get off the train. When I looked outside, I saw a sign that said “Virginia.” The attendant came by and noticed a somewhat look of confusion. He smiled and said, “Sweetheart, this is not your destination. Rest your pretty little head.” He explained the slips of paper placed over the seats indicated which train station you would make the transition. The Holy Ghost revealed to me during the journey to the place of promise there will be interruptions but remain faithful to God and He will bring you to your expected end. There are more lessons I learned on this train ride. However the last lesson I want to share with you was on the ride back home. We enjoyed the fellowship of the family and with mixed emotions, headed to the train station in Bridgeport, CT. During the ride back home, with the stops and changing trains in New York, the journey was comfortable. We knew what to expect, even when the unexpected arose, we rode in confidence and assurance of arriving safely to Rocky Mount, NC.

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Foot Health and Pedicures By: Chana

Have you been suffering for awhile with discomfort in your feet and just can't seem to find away to help manage your constant aches, pains, and swelling in your feet? I myself have been subjected to foot problems from an accident that happened in 1996. I was on cortisone shots, which only temporarily helped and then I would have to get another injection into my foot. Over time I stopped the cortisone and got a pair of expensive esthetics, recommended by my podiatrist...still did not work. My podiatrist suggested that I get surgery and I immediately said NO! It is my belief that once you start allowing someone to cut your delicate ligaments and muscle tissues, you are never quite the same and sometimes worse off with the surgery than before. Finally, I took my own foot health care into my hands and sought out a more Natural Therapeutic way to alleviate my foot pain. I started getting PEDICURES back in the late 1990's on a monthly basis and have not stopped since. What most of us need is simple manipulation and compression so that our bodies can self heal; this is why MASSAGE THERAPY is in such high demand these days. Having your feet soaking in a warm foot bath is soothing and relaxes the muscles in your feet. The massage helps to move those ligaments and joints around so that they don't stiffen up, which can cause foot pain and fatigue. Visit my website, http://freewebs.com/nailsbychana or call me directly to set up your appointment or for any questions you may have contact me at,(919) 889-6127 Are you a writer?

I AM NOT GIVING MEDICAL ADVICE, but simply suggesting an alternative way to help alleviate some of your foot problems. It is less costly to go to a Pedicurist on a monthly basis and get a Pedicure for $30.00 than it is to go to the Podiatrist and rack up a few hundred dollars in Medical Bills. Try it for yourself and see if it can benefit you. If you don't think a Pedicure will help you-the only thing that you may have lost out on is a few dollars!!

If you are and are truly interested in reaching out to Women who are in search of purpose, meaning and significance in their lives and you genuinely believe you have been given a gift to be able to share with others through your voice allow Serenity Woman to connect you to our readers. Serenity Woman Magazine has a full-time staff of editors and columnists that provide the core articles that make Serenity Woman Magazine who we are, along with featured interviews and other information, but we always welcome other columnists and writers. We’re Looking For You!

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Balancing your Body, Mind, Soul and Spirit in the Recession By: Minister Nadia V Omes-Reese

Recession, w h a t recession? In God's kingdom there is no Recession. Do you think God is up in the heaven's telling Arch Angel Michael He needs a martini, because He just doesn't see how they are going to make it through these times. No, I don't think so. Philippians 4:19 reads, And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from His glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus. So ladies smile, the world is your oyster and you are it's pearl tucked safely away with the protection of your covering. Get ready to receive what is already yours. Here are some easy yet valuable tips to get you through what the world calls a “recession”.

Pastor or overseer of house. Not so, you are giving this money to God for the up building of His kingdom. The offering is the extra that God places within your heart. “Whatsoever a man sow, so shall he reap.” Galatians 6:7 It's pretty cool. It's like having stock in heaven. If you want to prosper, give! The best time to give is when you don't have. Whether you are a Christian, Jew, or any other religion the Universal Law is the same. “It's better to give than receive”, “What comes around goes around”, I can go on all day about this principle. Tip#3 Now is a great time to start up a small business or purchase real estate. It's a buyer's market and yes you can be that buyer. Many people are loosing their homes, In order to keep their credit from going bad they are negotiating incredible deals. Some homes can be purchased as easily as assuming the mortgage.

For those of you in risk of loosing your home, fear not. There is good news for Tip#1 Put God first in everything you do. It is God you also. Banks and lenders are now who created you. Make sure you more than ever in position to work with acknowledge Him in your daily grind. He's a you. Check this out: great friend, especially when no one else is. Www.law.siu.edu/selfhelp/pdf/Free%2 0Legal %20Assistance%20Flyer.pdf Tip#2 Give God His due in all things and don't Those of you who want to start your forget tithes and offerings. Tithes and own business, work from home, check offerings is also the giving of your time and out www.liveops.com. This is a service, but you still have to tithe legitimate company that will allow you to work as monetarily. an independent contractor and set your Give 10% of what you make it's your tithe. A own hours. There is an application to lot people think that this money goes to the fill out, and tests of your skills. You will 14 Serenity Woman Magazine 07/09


have to pay a $50 background check, but only if they attain a position for you. It is a small fee to pay for the benefits you will receive. Tip#4 Ladies never let them see you sweat. Always keep your appearance up no matter what the circumstance. Doing this improves your mind, body, spirit, and soul. You don't have to pay a lot to look great! Shhh! Don't tell anyone, “I buy my designer digs from upscale area Good Wills, you can't beat the prices or the quality. I frequent the year end clearance sales, after Christmas, and seasonal clearance of the upscale department stores.

The Top Must Haves For Women: a. Mani/pedi no money to get your nails done. How about your hair? No problem, don't despair. Here are some fun solutions. Do the barter system, check out www.craigslist.com Look up your city and state, go to barter. Post an ad for Example: Will clean for haircut Will baby sit for mani/pedi

fitting clothing. There is nothing worse than having the elephant in pantyhose two sizes small look. Make sure that you have at least 1/8 of inch between your stomach and the waistband of your pants or skirt.) Remember, when you look like money, you will attract money. d. Balance- Work on bringing balance to your life. A great way to do this is through daily prayer or meditation, exercise, and massage. e. Positive Attitude and ability to deal with situations in a tactful manor. This separates the mature from the not so mature. Just because you are mature in the mind and spirit doesn't mean that you have to be mature in the body. No way! It is a youthful attitude that keeps us. You are only as old as you feel. So remember it is very sexy for a woman to be mature, yet youthful in attitude, body, mind, and spirit. These women are the kind of women that can do anything. Is that you? f. A Trustworthy Best Friend, someone you can share anything with and you know it is not going to be on the front page of a famous glad rag. He or she is someone that will give you advice and chastise you when you need it. Someone that you can lean on in times of need. Someone who loves you for you and not for what you can give them. A non-judgmental listener. The key thing to remember is to have a friend, you must be a friend.

Just remember to stay in your realm of expertise. There are professional Barter associations available as well. http://www.ncbarter.com/ is a Tip#5 great site. Last but not Least CHANGE YOUR SPEECH b. Hair done, keep your hair clean and “Whatever you say, you shall have” neat. God's Word Translation c. Attractive and sometimes sexy well The tongue has the power of life and death, fitting clothing, shoes, With matching and those who love to talk will have to eat handbag and accessories. (Ladies when their own words.” I say well fitting clothing, I mean well www.serenitywoman.com


Serenity Woman July 2009  

Serenity Woman July 2009

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