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March 2014

Table of Contents

In Every Issue

Features Who Do You Say You Are? Overcoming

Prime Time

the power of negative words

Frankly Speaking

Why You, Why BOLD, Why Now? Why

Sepia Beauty,

Michele Aikens Does What She Does

Up & Running: You will want to run too after seeing this‌. A Celebration of Friendship & Fashion

Sepia Style Superwoman Sanctuary Loving Profitably Speaking The Main Thing

Publisher: Michele Aikens Writers: Winfred Burns, Charles & Traci Childress, Stephanie Franklin, Monique Mayfield, Tasha Odunuyi, Marilyn Okoye, Mimi Paino, Candice Payne, Terri Wilson

Sepia Prime Woman Magazine is wholly owned by Cover Design Sepia Prime Woman Incorporated.


PRIME TIME Not Just Any Kind of Woman It’s Women’s History Month, and rather than re-invent a wheel, I will share something I wrote as a young mother…well more like a new mother as I’m not sure I was ever a young mother. Anyway, it’s good to read notes from younger you every now and then to see how much has changed. The rhythm of my life is different now, and almost 20 years later I am struck by how casually I wrote of struggle. Time brings about a grudging respect for struggle; there’s nothing casual about it. Perhaps it’s time to update the book to reflect what Prime Time looks like. Your style of life may change over the years, but a look back will remind you to hold on to the substance that makes you who you are. Not Just Any Kind of Woman I’m not just any kind of woman you know. I’m involved in a special relationship that allows me to do special things. I can, walk over, around and through neighborhood snakes and vipers to get the babies I have borne; and I can carry them on my knees to the One who can set their feet upon a rock.

It matters not how intimidated others are by them; the God in me goes straight to that place in them where the enemy can’t go – that special place that God made to be touched only by Him. I can, with all the dignity, poise and grace know to man, drink from the bitterest of cups – drugs, alcohol, abuse of the worst kind, even death, and remain unpoisoned. My long talks with my Loved One remind me that even in bitterness and heartache, I am more than a conqueror. I can, in spite of any perceived shortcomings or failings, still bring joy and companionship to a husband, still give comfort and security to my children, and still offer real friendship and understanding to other women because, I’m not just any kind of woman. Jesus lives in me.

Copyright 1997 by Michele Aikens from the book, Not Just Any Kind of Woman.

I can, nurture with the closest-to-God’s-kind of love-on-earth, your children, her children, my children and His children.

Sepia Prime Woman

March 2014


Frankly Speaking Why Can’t We All Just Get Along? Stephanie Franklin

While on my evening commute home on the train, I sat next to an elderly woman who for the duration of the ride would look at me smiling and then go back to looking out of the window. Now this should have really creeped me out, but I did not have the hair-raising chill, and besides, all of the other seats were full. As I gathered my things to prepare to get off the train, she looked at me again smiling and said, “You are so pretty.” I must admit that I was little taken aback because I was told this by another woman! I’m sure you’re wondering why I should be surprised, right?

If reality T.V (Housewives of anything -- Atlanta, New York, Chicago and anywhere else), Really Bad Girls or Dance Moms, is any indication of the relationship that women have with one another, we are doomed as a species! We live for drama and act like two-year olds having tantrums when we feel we aren’t being heard or getting our way. I am amazed at the trivial things we get angry and fight about and how we will put ourselves in demoralizing positions just to get the attention of people who don’t deserve it. Competition and comparison are perpetuated throughout our society in the forms of social media, TV and dare I say it, even in the church: “Who wore it best, who looks better, who sang better, who danced better etc”. We place ourselves in seats to be judged by others who sometimes have no mercy on our feelings, just to have a shot at fame and fortune. We have so lost our sense of identity that we would rather settle for a piece of another person than to exercise patience and wait for who has been purposed for us. Women were divinely created with a survival skill unmatched by anything. Women were created with a super

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power of influence and it can be used for good or evil. We were equipped to give life and nurture it. We are inbred with the capacity to love like nobody’s business but ooohhh don’t make us mad! One of my favorite movies was the “First Wives Club”. It was about a group of women who were going through divorces from their husbands and the wives were all getting the short end of the deal. They banded together and let’s just say they all came out on top, not one was left behind. Together we can accomplish great things! We can accomplish anything!! Why can’t you be happy for another woman and speak life into her? In helping her, you are helping yourself. Why is it that when someone has on the same dress as you, it just can’t be that you both have excellent taste? Why must you, the single friend hate on the friend happily in a relationship? The stereotype is that a group of women will never be able to do anything because we all we do is fight, but I am living proof that stereotype doesn’t have to be. I have the privilege of being connected to a dynamic group of women called Charisma Arts/InspireDance ministry and when I say that we are truly a family, I mean it. We talk to and rebuke one another’s children, we cry Sepia Prime Woman

on each other’s shoulders with spoons in the container of Haagen Dazs, we tell one another the truth when that dress really does make us look fat, and we celebrate our victories and lift one another up in weakness. If you get nothing else, get this -- we really can all get along but we have to choose it. I got off the train with a smile on my face and a strut in my step ready to put a smile just like mine on the next woman’s face. Hey lady…that dress is fierce, you are rockin’ that! Stephanie Franklin is the friend you ask if you want to know the truth.

When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.” Helen Keller

March 2014


YOUR BODY STRONG UP, RUNNING & LOVING IT! Debra How she started running. I started out as a walker. I participated in the UNCF annual walk-a-thon for ten years and employer-sponsored walks for more than five years. The walks were typically 5K or 10K (3 or 6 miles). After 15 years of walking 3 or 6 miles once or twice a year, I felt I could do more. I joined a training group for my first half marathon in 2007. Contrary to popular belief, you don’t have to run all or any of a marathon. I started at a 17-minute mile doing a walk/run interval pace of 3:1, i.e., walk 3 minutes, run 1 minute. I eventually improved to being able to run an entire mile in 10 minutes without walking in 2013. How old she was when she started running. I started doing half marathons with a walk/run ratio at age 48. I actually ran my first mile without walking or stopping at age 54. Once you start getting the medals for your accomplishments, you want more (we are like kids with that). What challenges did she experience as a runner My initial challenge was my weight. Because I was so heavy, the pain to my knees made me want to stop, but that was the reason I knew I needed to keep going. Invest in properly fitted shoes from a running store (not a Footlocker or Nike Town). I NEVER RUN IN COTTON; it will rub whatever part of your body it touches and chaff. That can be painful.

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FEATURE How often do you run? When I’m training for a race, I try to run at least three times per week: two short runs - 3 to 5 miles during the week, usually Tuesday and Thursday, and one long run - 10 or more miles on the weekend, typically Saturday.

“Start Slow. Do what feels comfortable for you. Don’t despise small beginnings.” Debra

March 2014


UP & RUNNING continued

Debra What do you enjoy most about a run? Surprisingly, I like scenery and I like nature (I hated bugs as a kid and was terrified of them, but when I’m in their element, I’m okay with them). Sunrise runs in the hills are great because you never know how the sun will rise or if it’ll peak through some clouds. The same path will have different views on any given day. I like being alone with God and talking to Him and being able to hear Him more clearly. I like the group runs too. We start out together and everybody is chit chatting and catching up then we’re off in our own world to look at the sights or listen to music. The runner’s high is real. Who’d have thunk it? I’m a runner!

Starting A Running Program Running can seem a bit intimidating to many but it doesn't have to be. There are so many benefits. Running can strengthen your muscles, help build endurance, it’s great for the waistline, good for your heart, a known stress reliever and let's not forget to mention the runner's high --that feeling you get as endorphins are being released. You may be wondering “Well how do I get started?” As a trainer this is an area where I see people make the biggest mistakes. You set out to do it and start hitting the pavement cold turkey, only to find your lungs burning within minutes of starting. The best way to approach your new goal is to start by adding small segments of running to your walking program. Aim for running at a pace that allows you to hold a conversation to start and work up from there. Keep reading for my suggestions about how to start a running program.

Tasha Sepia Prime Woman

March 2014


Remonia How she started Shortly after purchasing a treadmill to add to my home gym, I discovered a program called Couch to 5K. C25K is a walk/run training program that transforms nonrunners into runners. The thought of becoming a serious runner had never entered my mind! I just wanted to get fit, stay healthy and build up enough endurance to be able to run around the block without passing out. (Smile)

What benefits did she notice immediately after beginning to run? I felt GREAT...mentally, physically and spiritually! I looked forward to walking and running at least 5 days a week. Losing weight (about 8 pounds) in the first month was a bonus! Being healthy was and is the grand prize!

How old was she when she started running? 53 years young! How long did it take her to get comfortable running? I started my running journey without a running buddy. About two months after I began running, I joined Black Girls Run (Chicago). With the awesome support of like minded, health conscious women, I felt comfortable enough to sign up for my first 5K marathon. I'm not a fast runner. On an average, I run at a pace of 14 minutes per mile. My personal challenge was overcoming the fact that I don't have to be a fast runner. I'm my only competition!

How often does she run? During the winter months I only run two to three days a week. In the spring/summer months I run five days a week.

I don’t have to be a fast runner. I’m my only competition

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March 2014


Remonia What would she say to a woman who wants to start running? There are plenty of learn to run training programs, apps and running groups to help get you started. Grab a friend, relative or your loving pet and start walking. In no time, your short walks will get longer and your steps will turn in a jog. YOU CAN DO IT! What she enjoys most about a run? Running is stimulating! It enhances my overall well-being. At 55, I giggle every single time I think of myself as a Runner. However, after completing thirteen 5Ks, two 10Ks and one 11.6K marathons, I AM A RUNNER and I LOVE IT!

UP & RUNNING continued Suggestions for Starting A Running Program Week 1: Warm up 5 minutes, 2 minutes running, 4 minutes walking, end with a cool down. Week 2: Warm up 5-8 minutes, increase running to 3 minutes, walking 3 minutes, and running 3 minutes. End with a cool down. Week 3: Warm up 5 to 8 minutes. Increase running to 4 minutes combined with 2 minutes of walking. End with a cool down. Week 4: Five minutes running and 3 minutes walking, plus a cool down. *Aim for 20 to 30 minutes total when beginning* Work on building up the duration and intensity over the next 4 weeks. Make sure you schedule proper rest days. If you run Monday-Wednesday-Friday, Tuesdays and Thursdays should be strength and cross training days. Proper recovery is extremely important when beginning any program. You need PROPER RUNNING SHOES. Not cross trainers, walking or tennis shoes. You need a good quality pair that will protect and support your feet during training sessions. If you have any questions, please feel free to contact me at: tasha@.colfitness.com

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March 2014


LIFE CHANGING FEATURE

What Do You Say You Are? Janice Rankin At a recent gathering of friends and acquaintances, I witnessed a troubling occurrence. The evening was coming to an end and I was in the kitchen with someone else, when a woman entered. Initially I was not paying much attention, but my ears perked up and I became attuned when she boldly declared, “I am a heaux”! Caught off guard, I was immediately drawn into the conversation by what I viewed as a denigrating comment about self. I later learned there were other dynamics in play that night that precipitated the less than flattering selfproclamation. Yet, I still struggled with the incongruity that was at war in my heart and head. Coming from my perspective of self-esteem as a positive or negative attitude towards self, I had difficulty believing this woman held herself in such a state. I was utterly perplexed. I was more taken aback because in my eyes she is a dynamic, intelligent, creative, and respectable woman. Unexpectedly, I experienced feelings of hurt and sadness. Even if she did slightly feel

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this way, which I doubted, I questioned why she would say that? Why would she put that word out into her orbit? None the wiser, I called her out on it. She later explained it by saying it was a joke and I simply just missed it. Perhaps I did miss something, but the nagging feeling I had provoked my own exploration of what we say when we talk about ourselves, to ourselves, and the transformative and sustaining power behind those words. One of the messages from the old “sticks and stones may break my bones” idiom is that words are just that, and only have power if you allow them to. Paradoxically, this saying also suggests that words can hurt. One day, when I was in the fourth grade, I arrived home from school in tears because I had been teased about having skinny legs. After telling my loving protective mother the reason I was crying, she taught me this sticks and stones saying because she saw that the name calling wounded me and had attacked my young and tender self-esteem. With soothing words, she wrapped her arms around me and said, “You are more than just “Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones But Words Can Never Hurt Me” March 2014


Your Words continued from previous page

your legs and God made them just as he had planned.” Her words were healing and guided me on a journey of turning my pain into power, helping to positively build my self-love, self-concept, and self-esteem. Eventually, I learned to love and appreciate my legs and I now flaunt them with pride. As adults we don’t always have our parents or loved ones around to encourage and build us up, so what we say to ourselves matters. The way we describe and think about ourselves gives us identity and makes it possible to traverse this adult world successfully. Life is tough and competitive for women, particularly women of color, and we need to be girded up. Recently trending in social media was Pam Oliver, an AfricanAmerican sportscaster who has been with Fox Sports for nineteen years. In response to a flurry of criticism about her hair and makeup, she said, “I don’t do social media because it is an invitation to hear bad things about yourself.” The social system tried to get her to see herself as her hair and not the talented, successful trailblazer that she is. Social media can be a beast. With resolve, Pam chose to shut down the mean-spirited words by not allowing them into her psyche. Bravo for Pam! The harsh criticism, does however, demonstrate how we as women need to encourage ourselves. As a proponent in the power of words, on occasion, I ask women what is one thing they like or absolutely love about themselves. As expected, I get widely varying responses. The main intention is to encourage women to recognize what we say

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to ourselves and to appreciate the remarkable power self-talk holds. The conversations are my attempts at correcting some of the negative perceptions we hold inside and often act out. The talks also allow me to gain insights into a woman’s plight, strengths, and desires in a shared and communal way. For our own survival and successes we need to find new ways of thinking about and loving self. As we begin to approach another presidential election, the question of whether or not a woman could run the country is becoming quite the frequent topic of conversation. Why? Because there are those on both sides of the gender aisle that still see women as inferior and incapable. Women have a long way to go with identity and how it fits within the world, and I truly believe it starts with self. Negative self-talk erodes our confidence in our worth and abilities so that our minds operate as our enemies rather than our allies. This kind of self-talk can stifle your creativity, hinder your growth, and drag you to a place of procrastination. I am guilty, just like the woman in the kitchen, of calling myself some not-so-nice things like “stupid” when I locked my keys inside the house, or “incapable” when I was challenged to do something outside my comfort zone at work. Negative and critical comments are one of the major challenges anyone faces when they endeavor to be successful. If the intent is to be successful then we need to mind our words carefully. Ghandi advised us to “Keep your thoughts positive because your thoughts become your

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Your Words continued from previous page words. Keep your words positive because your words become your behaviors. Keep your behaviors positive because your behaviors become your habits.” Although research returns mixed results about the power of words, some studies show that words can stimulate the brain. In a Psychology Today article entitled, Words Can Change Your Brain, by Andrew Newberg, M.D. and Mark Robert Waldman, they note that just seeing a list of negative words for a few seconds will make a highly anxious or depressed person feel worse. Also, “If you verbalize negativity, more stress chemicals are released into your brain, not only in your brain, but the listener’s brain too, undermining trust and cooperation.” They also found when using positive words there is little change to the brain although, they did see that “patients experienced enhanced sense of happiness, well-being, and satisfaction.” March is Women’s History Month, a time where we celebrate women of courage and dedication. So I challenge you to celebrate you by making a commitment to regularly engage in speaking positively. I ask you to take this journey of being a nicer you to you. Use your inner-voice to speak more kind and loving thoughts. Activate the motivational centers of your psyche. When that old critical voice begins to speak, shut it down by reframing it with a more compassionate and understanding tone.

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Choose your words wisely and speak them slowly so they can resonate. Surround yourself with support systems. Employ an honest feedback mechanism to keep yourself in check. Create a method of accountability by telling someone about your commitment to help you on your journey. Friends are usually good for this. Seek a higher power for strength and direction. And most of all, believe in you and that you are worthy of living a life that you ought to be living. Remember, “You is kind. You is smart. You is important.” Keeping it moving!

Janice Rankin is Director and Program Designer of Everybody Is A Star. If you would like to share your journey or comments with her send an email to everybodyisastar@outlook.com

Do one thing every day that scares you. Eleanor Roosevelt

March 2014


Sepia Beauty Your Brows Matter By Mimi Paino

Eyebrow maintenance is a must! No matter how thick, thin, light or dark...your brows matter. You can enhance your face shape just by shaping them or darken your features by tinting them. On the other hand, misshapen eyebrows can create a look of surprise *giggle* or worse; we have all seen it. My point is your eyebrows are a focal point, so proper brow maintenance is a must. By the end of this read you will understand your options for brow shaping, tinting, and filling in. There are many options for shaping your eyebrows. Some of the more popular methods are waxing, threading, tweezing and razoring. The method you choose is a matter of preference. While some methods such as waxing, threading and tweezing are more precise than others, all of them can efficiently remove the hair.

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I often have to answer question "What's the difference between a $7 brow shaping and a $12 - $20 brow shaping?� It’s simple -- a license and experience. In this day and age of "quick, fast and cheap" you can pretty much find hair removal options anywhere from spas and salons to mall kiosks and nail shops. I stress seeking a licensed professional to shape your brows, not only to ensure achieving the perfect brow shape, but because licensed professionals are also trained to uphold sanitation standards. There's nothing more nauseating than the thought of someone double dipping wax sticks into a hot pot of wax mixed with germs or un-sanitized utensils used over and over again. Because "brows are like sisters, not twins" once your brows are shaped you may still feel like you need to fill them in for more definition. To achieve a natural look you can use a brow pencil and/or brow powder.

March 2014


Your Brows Matter (continued) When choosing your color, always go for one shade lighter than your hair and never darker. There are two simple rules to filling in your brows: use a light hand with featherlike strokes and my favorite saying "to blend is your friend." The last thing you want is to LOOK like you filled your brows in. Thanks to YouTube makeup enthusiasts there are a gazillion videos on how to fill in your brows. Many are ok quality, others are...just...wrong. If your eyebrows look like they were drawn in with a sharpie...they are too dark. If your brows look like inverted Nike signs, they are either drawn incorrectly or misshapen. Lastly, if your brows are naturally lighter than your hair color you can darken them by tinting them. Again, seeking a licensed professional is a must! To maintain your brows you will need to shape them once every two weeks or so. Generally, I do not encourage tweezing between appointments because you do not want to compromise your brow shape. But if you are in a pinch, you can remove hairs that are blatantly out of place.

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All in all, your brows matter. They shape your face and can make or break your look. So the next time you are standing in line for a $7 brow shaping, find out if they are licensed and pay attention to the sanitation practices. After all is said, think about what you want your brows to say about you. Mimi Paino is a licensed Esthetician and Professional Makeup Artist with eight years of experience in the industry. She graduated from HP: Esthetics College, earning her Esthetics license and advanced her education at True Skin University where she became certified in Medical Esthetics. Her motto is to "Always put your best face forward to love the skin you're in!" Contact her at: michele_paino@yahoo.com

March 2014


CONFRONTATIONAL DREAMER: Why Now? Why You? Why BOLD? The BOLD Mover Lady is actually camera shy and prefers to ‘aggravate others into their destinies’. “The photo shoot is going to have to be quick because I don’t like taking pictures. Yeah..yeah..yeah… ‘branding…branding’, she chuckles. “OK, I’ll behave”. Following are her words: “I get to talk with a lot of people about their dreams, and their regrets. I understand. One of the wonderful things about getting older (and that list is growing) is becoming less fearful of what other people say and think about what you do. I believe everyone is here to accomplish something great – yes, something that will change the world. Now if that sounds too lofty consider that if you change one life, you change the world. But it takes courage to change the world, and it takes courage to be who you were created to be. You do realize all of your challenges, gifts and situations are working together – conspiring with God – to make you into the person you were created to be. For those of us who are Christians, we quote the passage

FEATURE that says, “All things work together for the good of those who love God, who are the called according to his purpose,” but I think we mean, “All things that I can see and make sense of are working together for my good and the other stuff….well I don’t know why God let that happen, so I have a right to be bitter about it.” Oooh….irreverent. “No, just lovingly confrontational. Many of us are using bitterness and anger with God for ‘allowing all these terrible things’ as the excuse to lose faith in our responsibility for greatness. Some of us are thinking, One of the wonderful things about ‘Well getting older is being less fearful when God about what others say or think does this, about what you do. then I’ll do that.’ I’ve been there and I don’t mind telling you it is NOT a productive way to function. I don’t recall God ever responding to pouters, for if so he would have surely responded to me. I have seen him use extraordinary challenges to mine the gold out of people who are courageous enough to keep going. Continued on next page

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Speaking of courageous, where did the tag line, “Make A BOLD Move“ come from? I was in a meeting with two amazing people, Kim Baker and James Harris, talking about the why of Sepia Prime Woman. James is one of those prophetically-odd geniuses. As I talked he said, “That should be your slogan, “Making Bold Moves.” I liked it immediately, but as I thought about it, I know some really brilliant people who are struggling financially. There is world changing insight, creativity, or tangible inventions in most of the people I talk to that would more than provide for their needs, BUT there is also complacency, compromise and busyness that push greatness to the back. Most of us aren’t “Making Bold Moves,” but we can be encouraged to Make A BOLD Move: To courageously pursue your God-given path. When we pursue what we

have been assigned to do (as validated by our gifts, talents, insights, personalities, etc.), we will build better economics by creating and developing products, starting businesses, building healthy communities and providing examples of resourcefulness to our children. It takes courage to believe and embrace that, so a move toward purpose can’t be a regular move; it has to be a BOLD Move. So do you believe everyone should start a business or do something big in their community?

Not necessarily, but I do believe everyone has an assignment to change the world and I won’t back down from that. You can change the world by impacting one life, by creating one product, starting one business or making one speech. Whatever your world-changing assignment, it is still going to take courage to complete. Just like everyone has greatness assigned to them, there will always be opposition to greatness. There is a precious prayer WARRIOR I knew named Allie Kimble; she made her transition some years ago. She used to say to me whenever I felt beat up, “Where there are no spoils there is no fight.” What she meant was if you aren’t experiencing opposition it is because there is nothing to gain by fighting you. If you are being opposed, however, there is something of value, something worth fighting for, inside of you. Consider the phrases, “Spoils of war” or “To the victor go the spoils”. The spoils are the treasures you get for winning and there are some spoils that I believe we are giving up way too easily: our children, our communities, our economic well being, our dreams. To Make a BOLD Move simply means “I’m not going along with the status quo, I’m going to try even though succeeding may cost me life as I know it; the spoils are worth the fight. That’s why the move has to be BOLD. To be BOLD means to be courageous because there is something of value to be gained in the pursuit.

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Sepia Style

That Branded…..

Fashion and Friends Few people can make us shine in business like a friend who is invested in our dreams. Willie Hall is a seasoned and accomplished fashion designer, and her friend, Cookie, give her dream air and a push. Jeanette "Cookie" Cooke-Dabney, a greatly beloved model with an indomitable style, passed away unexpectedly on January 20, 2014. As we celebrate women and their achievements this month, let’s commemorate the collaboration of two women in fashion. Following is Cookie in some of Willie Hall’s favorite pictures. Here are hugs for Willie and a tearful “au revoir” to a beautifully apportioned Prime Time Woman. You are loved.

The Face…. Willie Hall Fashions Fashion may change but a stylish woman is timeless.

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Connect with Willie Hall Fashion Designer on her FaceBook Page: https://www.facebook.com/williejhall

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March 2014


A Sweater for All Seasons Monique Mayfield

Here we are on the cusp of spring, happy thoughts are flowing and hopes of summer fun is in the air. Before we lose ourselves inside fantasies of summer, we have some serious business to discuss. Let’s talk about a spring wardrobe necessity, the sweater. I know you’re thinking sweaters; those are for the fall and the winter. Those of us who live in climates that experience all four seasons know that a sweater is just as important in the spring as it is in the fall. In the springtime when there’s still a slight chill in the air nothing completes your look and keeps you warm like a good sweater. For the sake of separating our association of sweaters with cold weather, let’s call the spring sweater our transitional sweater. One of the hottest new trends this year is the cropped cut. Layering a cute cropped sweater over your favorite long sleeved tee or tank is a way to stay on trend and stay warm. The layering effect can be very slimming if you layer

Sepia Style your cropped sweater over a black tee or tank. Zoe Saldana achieves this look by layering her black cropped sweater over a white blouse. As you know I love a good timeless wardrobe piece and nothing fits this description better than a cardigan. The cardigan is timeless yet ever changing. If you are looking for a fresh new take on the classic cardigan try a cardigan that features an asymmetrical hemline. The hemline adds just a bit of whimsy and update to the classic cardigan. Cardigans are also very versatile; they can be worn everywhere from the office, to running errands on a Saturday afternoon, to dinner with friends, or just a day in the park with the kids. First Lady Michelle Obama oozes effortless elegance

while stepping off of Air Force One, in her classic full length cardigan.

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SWEATER continued from previous page The last type of sweater is a personal favorite of mine. The retro look is in. This year’s version of retro is heavily inspired by the 1980s. Remember Jennifer Beals in the movie “Flashdance” with her cut off sweatshirt? One of the hottest trends for the season is an off the shoulder sweater. I love this look because it is flirty yet comfortable. It can be very versatile as well -- the off the shoulder sweater can go anywhere from enjoying that cozy cup of coffee at your favorite coffeehouse to an evening happy hour with the girls. All these looks are stylish, comfortable, and easily attainable. Let’s step into spring looking good and keeping warm.

THE JOSEPH COMPANY CONSULTING We Understand Big Business and government aren’t the only ones feeling the effects of a weak economy. As families continue to struggle financially, churches that serve those families are finding it more difficult to meet their obligations and ministry goals. We Want To Help Our principals have over 40 years combined experience in banking, auditing, church programming and finance. We are invested in the success of ministries Contact us:

The Joseph Company Consulting www.thejosephcompanyinc.net 708.639.8847 Helping Churches and Small Business Survive So Our Communities Can Thrive

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WHY BOLD Continued from page Why is Making A BOLD Move important now? I believe now is the best time to Make A BOLD Move because many of our backs are against the wall. When we started Sepia Prime Woman our primary target was the woman in the prime of her life – 45 and up. The reason for that was because when a woman in her 40s or 50s loses her job, she doesn’t just get up and go find a new one next week. She’s knowledgeable, but expensive. She can apply for a job that’s below her qualifications but there is competition for those too. At 45 she likely has children who may be heading towards college and she contributes in a major way to the household; she may in fact be the sole contributor. Mortgage payments will be missed; children may have to drop out of school; the strain in finances starts to negatively impact relationships. The community suffers. That woman in her prime is pivotal to the community and she’s out of work. But she is also among the most educated group of women in the history of this country; she has cultivated friendships, influence and passion. She is an expert at something; why can’t she consult with businesses or form her own? What will she do if no one hires her? She needs to do SOMETHING. It needs to be BOLD. We wanted to provide a community for her to ask questions, get guidance, attend events – in other words to offer help.

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We are finding, though, that our message is speaking to others because in reality most of our backs are against the wall today. In spite of how tough things are financially, I believe this period of time represents a blessed opportunity. We can either embrace what is inside of us that can create new businesses, or we can continue to suffer the consequences of our complacency. We launched the BOLD Movers Network on Blog talk radio last year as another way to connect with those looking to do more, and one of the regular guests on my show said, “You need to stop saying you are for women 45 and up because a lot of younger women are listening to your show.” Then I started to get e-mails from men about topics and I thought “We need to add some programming that speaks to men.” Now we have shows 5 days a week that speak on topics ranging from relationships, to spirituality, to finances, to conflict and more. The message of BOLD Moving is for anyone who needs to dig deep within him or herself and come out with something that sustains. So how does someone Make A BOLD Move?

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First examine and fix your Connections: 

Connect with what is inside of you. Move the junk; the bitterness, the sense of powerlessness, and the apathy. When there is a setback, it’s hard, I know, but you can’t move BOLDLY with a lot of unnecessary baggage.

Connect spiritually. Your fight is more spiritual than natural. You can’t fight a spiritual enemy on a natural plane; you need to take your fight to where the war is happening. Our ancestors won a lot of battles on their knees by engaging fear, doubt and injustice with the God who hates those same things; then they got up and marched, started businesses and worked to change unjust laws. The greater your connection spiritually, the greater your impact naturally.

Trust and connect with the right people. There are coaches everywhere, but try to find some friends. Your friends will tell you the truth about who they know you to be, and will love you anyway. A coach will do what you pay them to do (sometimes). Once you have connected and established safe human places,

then pursue the business connections. Here’s a real-life example of why I suggest this. I am blessed with a network of friends who are also in business. There is good give and take between us, and a fair amount of tail kicking when necessary. It works. Awhile ago I became involved in an organization, and three of my friends came along with me. After a phone conference, one of them called and asked, “So how long are we going to do this?” My friends realized something that I had not: this was not the right organization for me though on the surface it appeared to be. They took me to lunch and lovingly read me the riot act, but said, “We will stay with you as long as you want.” My friends knew what I was supposed to be doing versus what I could be doing. The right friends will guard your flank – they don’t think like you necessarily and aren’t trying to get anything from you. They just love you, and THAT is what they bring to the connection. Knowing you are loved gives you courage to keep trying. You might have to evaluate your connections and in some cases, revise them. That takes BOLDNESS too. Continued on next page

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After you have connected to the right places, learn all you can about the move you want to make (or develop a strategy and action steps if you prefer). Look at the BOLD Move from all the angles: do a SWOT analysis or hire a consultant to do one for your team. 

Find people who do what you don’t. There are people available with platinum skills are out of work; help the economy by buying their expertise. Stop wasting time trying to figure out how to do something you aren’t supposed to be doing. Pay for a 2-hour consultation and move forward! Honestly examine what you bring to the table and just as important, what you don’t. Don’t undervalue what others have sacrificed to master, and don’t underestimate the value of your BOLD MOVE in dollars and cents and sense (how much it will cost, how much it is worth and my ability to commit to it).

After you have connected, learned, planned and evaluated, the only thing that’s left is to do it. When you question or doubt, check and secure your connections and….

The BOLD Mover’s Radio Network Welcomes 2 New Shows To Build Up Your BOLD The Woman Cave Hosted by Candice Payne 1st & 3rd Mondays Beginning March 3rd Conversations with Ken About Life, Motivation & Being Your Best Self Hosted By Ken Cheatham 2nd & 4th Mondays Beginning March 10th

Make A BOLD Move. You are loved. Michele Aikens is CEO of Sepia Prime Woman, Inc. She is nicer than she sounds. For questions, comments, or help in Making Your BOLD Move e-mail her at maikens@sepiaprimewoman.com.

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March 2014


PROFITABLY SPEAKING It Sounds Harder Than It Is Winfred Burns II

Many people say, building assets is tough, and several people have asked how to begin. How does one begin building assets with a family, a full time job and a life? Great question! Here is an idea I believe works. Build assets around fun! That’s right; I said build assets around fun. Do you know how I got started doing what I do? I was asked to teach a class to a group of pregnant mothers (for free). I was asked to speak for thirty minutes, but ninety minutes later I was hooked. The looks on the young ladies’ faces, the feeling of accomplishment, knowing I had empowered a group of people who needed to be empowered and educated but did not have access to the resources and tools, felt great. I made no money from that session. I did get a customer at the job I had at the time, but even if I hadn’t, I LOVED the experience and had fun. So I kept doing it for free until I could do it for a fee. Find what you have fun doing and do that. Anything can be turned into a business...anything. Assets like stocks should not be picked based on what others say but on what you know. Stocks and real estate are not short term plays for a person starting out. Pick what you know. You know oil and oranges, then invest in the companies in that sector. Do your homework,

learn about the industry where you have fun, and build a great asset base on what you know. You don’t have a lot of money?

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So what. Buy one share and start there. Instead of asking for new socks for your birthday, ask for stock. Instead of toys, ask for money to purchase shares in your mutual fund. Instead of 10,000 pair of black pumps, use your money towards the down payment on your first rental property or insurance policy. Build assets one at a time; it's possible and over time you will be glad you did. No matter what industry you choose or where you start, get started. The road to building assets can be tough so if you play and make it as fun as possible, you take some of the stress and strain out of it. Remember, this is a total paradigm shift so it might feel uncomfortable or place you in the minority with family and friends. Do not worry about it; at some point it will all be worth it and you will be the gateway they need to help get them started, all because you had fun. Walk in Truth, WBII Winfred Burns II is a financial coach and host of the Global Drive Show on The BOLD Movers Radio Network.

March 2014


LOVING A Funny Thing Happened On the Way To My Destiny Pastor Traci Childress I believe every woman has “her story,” so I thought I would give a glimpse into my own in relation to marriage and destiny. I hope you find the motivation to pursue your passion as you continue reading. Since I was about 13 years old, I knew what I was called to do. I loved being with people and helping them, I loved to learn and share, so when I viewed myself, I saw myself as a minister; teaching, counseling, and healing people’s lives. Interestingly enough, I was always by myself when I imagined my life’s work, then I met Charles. I was 14 when we became great friends and I was not ashamed to share my faith, and as a result he became my first convert. Yep, I was headed on the right path and later on, when he shared his thoughts about marriage, I assured him that there was a wonderful woman hand-picked just for him. It would be four years before I discovered I was that woman, and on April 21, 1990, I married into my destiny. I had everything ahead of me and all was well. I needed to get a better job to contribute to the household finances, so I enrolled in classes to upgrade my skills. Oh wait, did I mention I was pregnant and having complications, so I had to drop out a semester? I determined to return in a year

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and start ministerial training but then our apartment caught fire! Now where would we go and what would we do? Our family was growing and it was time for a house. Indiana proved to be more affordable, so we bought a house there, and then…pregnant again! At least this time, I would remain home at the end of the pregnancy, giving me more time to focus on my call. And then…nope; my husband and family had their own ideas about how I would spend my time…“When would someone ask me?” I wondered. Along came girl #3, so my plan to focus on my goals didn’t look too promising, and that’s when it happened… I was troubled by the seeming delays, but one day I had an epiphany. My family was not my problem; it was my perception that was getting in the way. I was still seeing a “single” version of me unencumbered, but I had failed to realize that my children were a part of the brilliant plan to establish me in leadership. A greater revelation was that the awesome things that I saw myself doing weren’t just about the vision for MY life; there was another life to consider. I had to be ready to walk in strength because there were things Charles was purposed do as well. It wasn’t all about me; it’s no wonder I struggled. I thought my choice for marriage and family had become an interruption and didn’t understand that it was a huge part of the things I longed to do.

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LOVING

Continued

An important part of discovering that your life involves something greater, is knowing what to do to lay hold of that discovery. One way is to find someone who has done or is doing what you endeavor and learn from their life. I’m not just talking about their area of expertise; I’m also referring to their family life. We always want to focus on how a person became successful, but we should be just as interested in what they did with their spouse, their children, housekeeping, dinner…the whole nine yards. I taught a class not too long ago on historical and contemporary women. I was absolutely delighted to learn that women who I could admire and emulate had similar stories of overcoming the stigma that family life means you have to wait or even give up the things that you are passionate about pursuing. However, I also learned that there are some paths that were not meant for marriage and that’s why we owe it to ourselves to pay attention to our passions early on. The reality is that many successes we celebrate and want to duplicate require the marriage and family to take a back seat, so we have to take the time to find the right example from which to learn. The married can’t pretend they are not, but if we are truly destined for something, then there is a way to do it. It will involve sacrifice, but the marriage and family don’t have to get destroyed in the process.

purpose. We can see quite clearly when one or the other has lost their way and this makes course correction easier. I am glad I sought out a way to connect my passion with Charles and my family situation because it makes everything I accomplish more meaningful and satisfying. In essence, I sacrificed self-importance for true destiny. Two has surely been better than one, so I implore those who are married to consider one another and provoke each other to love your purpose. Charles & Traci Childress oversee the Marriage Network, a ministry that empowers couples to see their relationship as more than just co-habitating, but as an opportunity to be a dynamic force in their homes, communities and extended families. Pastor Traci Childress is also host of Finding Serenity on The BOLD Movers Radio Network. You can connect with them at www.FunInMarriage.net

Now Charles and I work together as a team, understanding that helping each other to be a success is what keeps us tuned in to OUR

Sepia Prime Woman

March 2014


Superwoman Sanctuary First Time in Forever… I’ve been debating what to write for Women’s History Month. I love honoring and giving praise to the Beautiful Women in my life who are successful, that I admire, and who encourage and inspire me. I realized how easy it is for me to compliment other women and tell others about them and why I admire them. I get super excited when my friends are doing great things and never hesitate to cheer them on. When I was preparing to write this, I thought of it as one of those assignments from school where we have to talk about who our “hero/shero” was and why. There are so many things I could say about the women in my life; why I love, appreciate, and admire them. However, I will switch it up and do something different. At a friend’s birthday party, she wanted to celebrate in her home with some of the women she loved. I was honored to be in that group. We were given wine

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glasses to decorate and asked to describe ourselves in a word or two. I hesitate when I am asked a question like this. I don’t want to seem proud or arrogant. Well for the First Time in Forever, I’m using this page to be proud, to honor, and admire…ME! I hardly EVER give myself credit for the things I do. I’ve allowed myself to believe that what I do is too small to be considered an “Honor.” I was at a party among great women but who am I to not believe that I am great? The two things I love about myself are that I am both humble and bold. It may seem contradictory but I believe this to be true about myself. The humble side of me is respectful and submissive while my bold side is strong, outspoken, and not easily intimidated. I am a great wife, great mom, great daughter, sister, friend, and most of all I am a leader. I’m loyal, committed, and reliable. I work hard on my relationships and while I have a zero tolerance personality, I don’t give up easily…especially on those I love. I have influenced younger women to respect themselves and to not settle in their relationships. I have stood in as a mother figure to those who didn’t have a living mother or lacked a relationship with their

March 2014


moms. I have supported first time mothers in adjusting to motherhood and babies. I don’t have a Master’s degree or a six figure income but I am a good role model. I’m far from perfect and I recognize my weaknesses. Instead of using them as an excuse for doing wrong, I learn from them in hopes of growing into a better woman. I’m nowhere near where I want to be but I am darn proud of the woman I am and the woman I am becoming. Despite the pain, depression, trials, disaster, hardship, and any other distressful word you can think of, I have not been destroyed. I fought through it all to get where I am and will continue to fight to get where I want to be. I didn’t always recognize the greatness inside of me. It took others who REALLY had a heart for me to help me see the gifts I possess that could be a blessing to others. If you don’t know what you like about yourself or what’s great in you, check your surroundings. If your friends are not giving you positive compliments I wouldn’t consider them friends (no offense). Go back to the high school paper and think about the women you admire and why. Purchase a couple “Self Help” books to…basically help yourself. Make a list of the things you like about yourself. If you’re stuck, think about the compliments others may have given you.

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Ask your husband if you are married what qualities attracted him to you. Seek the opinions of those who really matter. Start surrounding yourself with people who believe in YOU and stay away from negativity and drama. If the people in your life are not motivating or inspiring you, you may need to let them go. What’s the purpose for their presence? Many people will express what they “think” about you but it is important for you to know the TRUTH about YOU. Never again will I allow what people “think” about me to change my view of myself. I could use a few modifications…but I still ROCK! So in honor of Women’s History month, I’d like to acknowledge myself. With all this being said I give all Glory to God. I had no clue this is what he had planned for me but I embrace where he’s taking me. I am truly grateful! For the first time in Forever, I am Proud of myself and I recognize that I am a gift to the lives of others just as they’ve been to me. Candice Payne…I salute YOU! Candice Payne writes a blog called The Superwoman Sanctuary (http://www.superwomansanctuary.c om), and is host of The Woman Cave on The BOLD Movers Network on Blog Talk Radio, the 2nd and 4th Mondays in each month.

March 2014


The Main Thing AN UNLIKELY HEROINE Terri Wilson In considering Woman's History Month, there were many women before, during and after Christ who made important contributions. There was Debra, Esther and Mary, just to name a few. Some of the interesting women of the Bible were part of Christ's genealogy. There was one woman, though, who was colorful and played an important part in the Israelites’ history was Rahab. She was the “lady of the evening” and an innkeeper who helped the spies Joshua sent to check out the land. Rahab believed in God's ability to deliver and because of her belief she hid the spies on the roof among the flax. When the King came looking for the spies, she told him they had already gone and if they hurried, they would catch them. After the King's men went looking for them, she helped the spies escape into the wilderness where they hid for three days.

According to a dig of the place where Jericho once stood, between 1907 and 1909, they found two walls; a lower wall and an upper wall separated by an embankment. Excavators believe it was the lower wall that came down after the seven days of marching and trumpets. The excavation also showed that the way the wall fell made it very easy for the Israelites to scale the upper wall and get into the city. Rahab's house was located at the north end of the city with the back of the house on the upper wall. It is believed this is where the overflow and poor of the city lived. This side of the city was also very close to the hills of the Judean wilderness, making it easy for the spies to escape. Because of Rahab's faith she hid the spies without hesitation and forethought. The result of that faith is that she and her family were spared from the complete destruction of her city. What is the Lord calling you to do? Who is he trying to reach through you? Whose heroine are you supposed to be? Step out on faith as Rahab did and be all you can be for God.

It’s your move. Make it a BOLD

Terri Wilson is a minister, author and women’s coach at her church.

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Sepia Prime Woman

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Sepia Prime Woman

March 2014


March 2014