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TV / Satellite
Accountants / Finance / Legal Pg 8,40,53,69 Insurance
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Car transfer service
Hi folks, A quick thank you to all those who sent messages about Ben, As we go to print he is about to appear in Putting on the glitz. The Find George contest is hotting up with Lisa from Simones hair in Alhaurin 10 points Mr Del Smith coming 2nd for 8 points via Email. Erika from On line real Estate gets 6, Mr Bell from Alhaurin Getting 4. If you don’t know what we are on about check out the puzzle answers page in the May Issue, that’s where he was. So we have a hung parliament back in blighty? so what does that mean, in basic terms it means no one has a clue whats going on and the politicians can blame each other when it all goes Tits up, which it will. I was reminded of an historical fact. Did you know that the last person to enter the houses of parliament with honest intentions was Guy Fawkes!
and finally its the start of the World cup, The cricketers have just won the 20 20 world cup against the Aussies lets hope that some of the luck rubs off and it inspires England to win the ultimate trophy. For those of you who hate the game ther are a number of bars who will not be showing the matches, you can keep your sanity in those. For the rest of you all i can say is.... “‘COME ON ENGLAND” Hope you like the wallchart,
the flat while Ziggy looked on. Her confession ended their two-year relationship. It also led to 30-year-old Mr Taylor parting company with his pet - because it kept screeching out her lover's name. Parrot squawks on cheating lover's affair A devastated Englishman learned the horrible truth that his girlfriend was cheating on him - straight from his pet parrot's mouth.
Mr Taylor wasn't sorry to see the back of Suzy after what she did, he said. But it really broke his heart to part with eight-year-old Ziggy which he had bought as a chick.
Chris Taylor's parrot Ziggy began squawking "Hiya, Gary" every time his girlfriend Suzy Collins's mobile phone rang.
"I lost my girlfriend and best mate at the same time. But it was torture hearing him repeat that name Gary over and over," he said.
The African Grey also made kiss noises each time it heard the name Gary on television or radio.
Mr Taylor named the parrot after Ziggy Stardust, David Bowie's alter ego. It learned to reproduce the line "Put on your red shoes and dance the blue!" from the Bowie song Let's Dance.
At first amused owner Mr Taylor, a computer programmer, dismissed it as something the bird had picked up watching TV. But then he snuggled up beside Suzy on the sofa in their flat in Leeds and Ziggy cried out in Suzy's voice "I love you, Gary." The cat was finally out of the bag. Call-center worker Ms Collins, 25, broke down in tears and confessed to having a four-month fling with a former colleague. She had met her lover in
Ziggy has since found a new home with the help of a local parrot dealer. Rookie plumber 'burns down ÂŁ5m mansion' A rookie plumber is believed to have burnt down a ÂŁ5 million waterside mansion on his first day at work. More than 60 firefighters were called to the listed building after a soldering job went wrong, says the Daily Mail. Kittery Court, in Kingswear, Devon, is owned by Andrew Brownsword - famous for his Forever Friends range of greeting cards. Workers at the site were determined to keep the identity of their plumber colleague a secret. But residents suggested the fire was accidentally sparked by a 17-year-old apprentice. John Howes, of Devon and Somerset Fire and Rescue Service, said the plumber was working for a firm of sub-contracted mechanical engineers and was "very upset". He said: "It appears at this stage that this was an unfortunate plumber who was soldering in the roof space of a large building, which was undergoing total renovation." One neighbour of the property which stands in 1.6 acres said: "I heard it was started by a teenager on his first day. You have to feel sorry for the poor lad. He must feel terrible."
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film. Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo! Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk? What happens if you get scared half to death twice? Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery. I poured Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone. I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder. Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark. How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink? Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them. Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name? Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms! For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain. OK, so what's the speed of dark? Corduroy pillows: They're making headlines! Black holes are where God divided by zero. All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand. Excuses are like asses everyone's got em and they all stink. Death is life's way of telling you you've been fired.
Screen” Conditions which are automatically insured without screening or extra premium. Otherwise, tell your insurer about any other condition which you wish to be covered for.
Travel Insurance for people living in Spain A good Travel Insurance policy will cover you for cancelling or cutting a trip short. Check carefully to see exactly what you’re covered for: Accident, Illness. Pregnancy (unknown when you buy the policy), Jury service or witness summons, Home emergency: Fire, Storm, Flood, Burglary, Redundancy, Strikes, Bad weather affecting the departure of flights and ships. Ensure your policy will refund the full cost of your holiday, pays out if you need to cancel or cut short a trip because you fall ill for example. Will it cover pre-paid expenses such as excursions, extra costs incurred to get home? If you have a pre-existing medical condition, you should check to see if it falls within “Non
Ask your doctor how the trip might affect your health, check local conditions such as climate and pollution levels and consider how you might be affected, carry a doctor’s letter and a copy of any prescriptions, ensure your medication is legal in the country you are visiting – the British Embassy can advise you. Learn key words and phrases in the local language for your condition, medication and emergency help. The Emergency Assistance Card will give you access to 24 hour Assistance. This important document should always be carried with you, it should prevent you having to pay for medical treatment and other related costs. This important service will also provide help and guidance to your travelling companion and take care of repatriation arrangements.
Globelink are the leading provider of travel insurance for people living in all EU countries. Annual Multi Trip policies are available to people aged up to 74 and Single Trip cover up to age 84. Visit www.globelink.co.uk get a quote instantly and arrange cover securely online. Your travel insurance Policy and Emergency Assistance Card will be delivered to you immediately by email. Call our UK office on +44 1353 699 082 or our Spanish link line on 96 626 5000.
South Africa is this months A- Z feature of Around the world Population : 49.32-million Total Area: 1 219 090 square kilometres Languages:11 official languages Religion: Christian 80%, indigenous beliefs 15% Currency: One rand (R) = 100 cents Capital city: Pretoria (administrative) Cape Town (legislative) National sport: Football, Host of This years World cup Brief History: After the British seized the Cape of Good Hope area in 1806, many of the Dutch settlers (the Boers) trekked north to found their own republics. The discovery of diamonds (1867) and gold (1886) spurred wealth and immigration and intensified the subjugation of the native inhabitants.The Boers resisted British encroachments, but were defeated in the Boer War (1899-1902).The resulting Union of South Africa operated under a policy of apartheid - the separate development of the races. The 1990s brought an end to apartheid politically and ushered in black majority rule
Geography & climate South Africa is a medium-sized country, with a total land area of 1 219 090 square kilometres, or roughly equivalent in size to Niger, Angola, Mali or Colombia. It is one-eighth the size of the US, about a third the size of the European Union, twice the size of France and over three times the size of Germany. It measures some 1 600km from north to south, and roughly the same from east to west.A subtropical location, moderated by ocean on three sides of the country and the altitude of the interior plateau, makes South Africa a warm and sunny country. But it's also dry, with an average annual rainfall of about 464mm. While the Western Cape gets most of its rainfall in winter, the rest of the country is mostly a summer-rainfall region.The coastline stretches 2 798 kilome, flanked on the west by the Atlantic Ocean and on the east by the Indian Ocean, whose waters meet at the country's â€“ and Africa's â€“ most southern tip, Cape Agulhastres Tourist attractions The best places to visit in South Africa include the stunning coastal towns of Hermanus, Cape Town, Knysna and Durban. Enjoy the mountain air in Hogsback and the Drakensberg. Settle back with world class wines from the Cape Winelands and enjoy a safari in the oldest and best Wildlife Park in Southern Africa -- Kruger National Park.
No trip to South Africa would be complete without a visit to a township, and Soweto is the largest and most vibrant of them all. The Victoria Falls There is nothing quite like getting a thorough soaking from the roaring, powerful Victoria Falls. The spray is so impressive from the look-out points that it feels like you are in the middle of a torrential rainstorm. The Victoria Falls lie in between Zambia and Zimbabwe in Southern Africa.
The Victoria Falls are just over 1 mile wide (1.7 km) and 355 feet (108 m) high. During the wet season over 500 million liters (19 million cubic feet) of water plummets over the edge into the Zambezi River. This incredible amount of water generates a huge amount of spray which shoots 1000 feet into the sky and can be seen 30 miles away, hence the name Mosi-oa-Tunya (Smoke that thunders).
South Luangwa National Park Home of the "walking safari," South Luangwa National Park in Zambia offers a true African experience. There's plenty of wildlife and over 400 species of birds. The Luangwa River is filled to the brim with hippos, and if you're lucky you'll spot prides of over 30 lions at a time. There are 60 different animal species and over 400 different bird species living in the National Park. South Luangwa offers both budget and luxury safari lodging. The best time to visit is during the dry season from April to October. Near the end of the dry season, the animals really concentrate around the remaining waterholes, which makes for a great safari.
World cup at the Boma bar We are very proud that the worlds biggest sporting event – The World Cup 2010 - will be staged on our home turf for the first time! It gives South Africa and the African continent the opportunity to showcase the hospitality that we are renowned for….. fortunately, you don’t have to endure the 12 hour flight to enjoy that renowned hospitality… The Boma is a South African owned bar and is the closest you’ll get to experiencing the world cup in South Africa! Relax on the balcony with an ice cold beer or cocktail and enjoy some traditional South African dishes. Steven braai’s - ’our favourite pastime’ every night from 6pm…steaks, ribs, our very own South African boerewors & burgers all flame grilled on the outside braai (BBQ).
All matches (even those on a Monday) will be shown on the big tv ‘s! We are ready to blow our vuvuzela’s, our miners helmets are decorated, Zakumi the mascot will take pride of place at the bar, we can all do the ‘Diski Dance’…and we are ready to do South Africa proud! A good time will be had by all! Come and enjoy the football with us… you never know Bafana Bafana might just do it like the Springboks did in the 1995 Rugby World Cup! We wish every team all the best and may the best team win! See you at The Boma
by Jan Morley SENTINELLA MAGAZINE WORLD CUP CREATE YOUR OWN WORLD CUP PARTY You´ve got the shirt, the shorts, the scarf the whole kit……… Now you can create your own party with a taste of South Africa! Here are some recipes that will be enormously popular to share with a horde of football fans.
Ingredients (serves 4): BEEF AND BEER POTJIE 2 tablespoons flour 5 ml paprika 1 kg beef fillet, cubed 15 ml butter 15 ml cooking oil 2 medium onions, thinly sliced 15 ml white sugar 8 green beans, sliced 4 carrots, peeled and thinly sliced 1 clove garlic, finely chopped 5 ml mixed herbs or marjoram 375 ml beer 250 ml beef stock 1 packet tomato soup powder 1 bay leaf 10 ml cornflour salt and pepper to taste Combine the paprika and flour and place in a plastic bag. Add the meat cubes and shake well to coat the meat. Melt the butter and oil in the pot and brown the meat over medium hot coals. Remove and set aside. Fry the onions and sugar, stirring now and then until the onions are tender. Add the beans, carrots and garlic and simmer for 5 minutes. Return the meat to the pot and stir in the herbs, beer, stock, soup powder and bay leaf. replace the lid and simmer till the meat is tender, approx 45 minutes to 1 hour. Stir occasionally, using a wooden spoon. Mix a little water with the cornflour and stir in. Simmer until the gravy has thickened and season with salt and pepper. ( If you can´t get hold of a potjie, the recipe can still be cooked in a casserole dish, and simmered on top of the stove.) Be careful when cooking over an open fire……… ….just check if its allowed.
PRAWN MANGO AND GINGER STIR-FRY Stir- fry oil 1 onion , finely sliced 2 green chillies, 2 red chillies 40g fresh ginger, cut into fine strips 2 cloves garlic, 10 plum tomatoes, skinned, deseeded and diced 12 large prawns, shelled, except for tail, deveined and butterflied 2 mangoes skinned and chopped 4 tablespoons of rum • Stir-fry the onions, in a little oil in a hot wok • Add the chillies, garlic, ginger for 1 minute • Add the tomatoes, fry for another minute • Transfer to a plate • Wipe the wok clean, heat a little more oil, seal the prawns on both sides, add the mangoes and flambé with the rum, stir in the cooked vegetables, season and serve at once!
Firstly, an introduction: I’m Fiona, you’re new “Gossip” columnist for the Sentinella Malaga Magazine bringing you all the latest news and views from the Costa Del Sol, the UK as well as from ‘across the Pond’. I aim to keep you in the know and give you the inside scoop on the latest goings on and if you’re lucky enough to get a juicy bit of gossip, be sure to let me know! Congratulations to British TV presenter, Denise Van Outen and her West-End star husband, Lee Mead on the birth of their first child, daughter Betsy Mead, on 1st May. Both parents are said to be ecstatic with their new arrival and according to sources “can’t wait to get trying for the next one” – Give it a few days and that might change. Everything seems rosey until reality kicks in. Good luck to them! Sadly, on 2nd May, the legendary Tony and Oscar nominated actress, Lynn Redgrave, passed away aged 67 after having breast cancer. She was daughter of Michael Redgrave and part of the Redgrave acting dynasty. Exciting news for the all the ladies out there – Sex and The City 2 is due to be released in Spain on 4th June. The much awaited sequel to the first film sees Carrie and Big’s marriage hit turbulence along with the return of loveable, but boring, Aiden. I personally cannot wait and have made my husband sit through my DVD copy of the first film in anticipation. Coincidentally, at around the same time the male contingent of the globe will be reaching fever pitch with the start of the World Cup 2010. England are due to play their first fixture against the USA (who knew they played our type of football well enough to get into the World Cup??) on 12th June, whilst Spain play Switzerland on 16th June. Good luck and mucha suerte to both teams.
For all the ‘luvvies’ amongst us (and I count myself as one) the Tony nominations have just been announced with good news for ourhome grown talent. Jude Law is nominated in the category for Best Performance by a Leading Actor in a Play for his role in ‘Hamlet’ whilst Catherine Zeta-Douglas is up for the award for Best Performance by a Leading Actress in a Musical for her role in ‘A Little Night Music’. A welcome piece of news for the latter after the recent imprisonment of her stepson, Cameron Douglas, for drugs offences in the USA In ‘Hollywood/Latino’ news sexpot and all-round ‘superwoman’, Christina Aguilera, is about to release her new album ‘Bionic’ on 8th June. The much anticipated release is her first since having her son, Max, and much is being made of her choice of outfit, or lack thereof, in the video that accompanies the first single release. We’re talking basques, suspenders and masks – Lady Gaga eat your heart out! In Ebay news (yes you read it right but worse is to come) Katie Price (I did warn .you) is auctioning the last remnants of her marriage to Peter Andre. All the profits will be going to charity, however coincidentally there is a new gameshow to plug called ‘Scream if you know the answer’. She is co-presenter with Duncan James of former ‘Blue’ fame. Locally we have the ‘Grand’ opening of Nikki Beach to look forward to on 27th May so brace yourselves for the annual descending of the ‘stars’ of The Bill, Hollyoaks and the like and anyone else of D to Z list ‘celeb status’ to our beautiful coastline. Well, that’s all for this month folks. Enjoy the beginning (I hope) of the summer sunshine. See you next month!
Fiona you can email me on firstname.lastname@example.org
Over 3.000€ raised at the Walk for Life for Cudeca in Cómpeta! On Sunday 02 May, Cindy Jones and a group of friends did a 5km sponsored walk from Competa to Canillas de Albaida to raise money for Cudeca Cancer Care Hospice. The idea first started in 2006 as sadly many of them had lost family and friends to Cancer. Instead of travelling back to the UK to join a “Race for Life” in aid of Cancer Research UK where annually up to 750,000 women participate at one of the numerous venues across various cities and towns across the UK, they decided to arrange a local event and support Cudeca. Thanks to everyone involved a fantastic 3.000€ euros was raised and funds are still arriving! For the last four years, the majority of walkers have been ladies, so this year Cindy was delighted to have more men on board, not to mention dogs! Sadly cancer does not recognise a recession and will continue to affect one person in three, which is sadly confirmed as the numbers increase. This care Cudeca offers is completely free of charge, so they depend entirely on initiatives for fund-raising, so as to ensure they can continue to provide the “Special Kind of Caring” to those who need it most. Cindy would like to thank everyone who made the morning such a success, all the walkers and the dogs, Alick and Debbie Howard of Todo Papel, Debi Bond, Graham Nursaw, Jean Sampson, Jennifer Allweathers, Lynn Gallon, Marian Pottinger, Rachel Winspear and the generous sponsors especially the Albaida Restaurant in Canillas de Albaida.
The event has grown year on year and this time, fifty two walkers participated including seven children and fifteen dogs. The children turned the walk into a race with Carla Gray finishing first!!! Two of the children specifically walked for the life of their grand parents who are currently fighting cancer; Maddy Tighe-Law aged 8 years for her Granddad, John Turner and Meadow Brooks aged 7 years for her Grandpa, Tony Brooks.
Honouring those who improve the species.... by accidently removing themselves from it! or almost! Shockingly Conductive 2010 At-Risk Survivor Unconfirmed by Darwin When I was in aviation electronics school in the service, my instructor began his class on 'Insulators' with this observation: "Wood is a non-conductor, right? Well don't you believe it!" He had purchased an acre of property that was covered in fast-growing poplar trees, each about five inches thick and twenty feet tall. Axe in hand, he set out to clear the yard. His wife expressed concern about the high voltage power lines that passed along the edge of the lot, but he assured her that there was nothing to worry about. Wood is non-conductive. A few minutes later one of his "mighty blows" felled a tree, which toppled directly onto the power lines. He stood there transfixed as the blue electricity snaked down the tree trunk and up the axe handle, and blew him twenty feet across the yard. Fortunately his wife and daughter witnessed the event and rushed him to the hospital, where he was treated for third degree burns on palms and soles, where the electricity entered and exited his body. He stayed in the hospital for two weeks, until his arms stopped shaking uncontrollably. Wood is non-conductive, right? Don't you believe it!
Epitaph, She Liked Feathers 2009 Darwin Award Nominee Confirmed True by Darwin (22 Feb 2009, UK) A woman in her forties was following a coastal footpath along the top of a cliff in Devon. Fencing was in place to protect people from falling, but this protective fencing was no match for the allure of a feather blown by the breeze... just out of reach. While chasing the feather, the woman climbed the fence, slipped, and fell--80 feet. She was airlifted to the hospital, but there was no cure for what ailed her--she died of head injuries the following day
The World Cup 2010 – South Africa The World Cup has been held every four years since the first tournament in 1930, except in 1942 and 1946 when it was not contested because of World War II. The current format of the tournament involves 32 teams competing for the title at venues within the host nation(s) over a period of about a month. A qualification phase, which currently takes place over the preceding three years, is used to determine which teams qualify for the tournament together with the host nation(s). The World Cup is the most widely-viewed sporting event in the world, with an estimated 715.1 million people watching the 2006 final. During the 18 tournaments that have been held, seven nations have won the title. Brazil are the only team to have played in every tournament and have won the World Cup a record five times. Italy are the current champions and have won four titles, Germany are next with three. The other former champions are Uruguay, winners of the inaugural tournament, and Argentina, with two titles each, and England and France, with one title each. The Host Nation - South Africa The World Cup 2010 is the first ever to be staged on the African continent. South Africa regularly hosts major international sporting events, and since 1994 has successfully managed some of the biggest - including the 1995 Rugby World Cup, the 2003 Cricket World Cup, the Women's World Cup of Golf in 2005 and 2006 and, in January 2006, the only street race in the inaugural A1 GP World Cup of Motorsport. But the Football World Cup, the world's biggest sporting event after the Olympic games - in terms of television audience, bigger than the Olympics is in a class of its own. For four weeks in 2010, South Africa will be the centre of the world. The ‘Vuvuzela’ & ‘Makarapa’ Watch any major South African football match, and two pieces of paraphernalia immediately stand out: one the now widely known vuvuzela trumpet, and the other the makarapa - the modified, decorated miners' helmet unique to South African soccer fans. Vuvuzela After lengthy discussions with the 2010 Local Organising Committee (LOC), Fifa finally relented, opting to allow the vuvuzela and the makarapa to be wielded and worn inside the stadiums during the 2010 World Cup.
A stadium packed with thousands of fans blowing their vuvuzelas is difficult. Up close it's an elephant, but en masse the sound is more like a massive swarm of very angry bees. And when there's action near the goal mouth, those bees go really crazy. To get that sound out requires lip flexibility and lung strength - in short, a fair amount of technique. So be sure to get in some practice before attending a South African football match or the sound you produce may cause some amusement in the seats around you! The sound of the vuvuzela might take getting used to, the makarapa might get in some people's line of sight, but there is no better way of creating that unique, energetic South African atmosphere during a soccer match. South African Tourism, are actively encouraging South Africans to take up the vuvuzela and makarapa in order to give the events a distinctive local flavour. Zakumi: He's a fluffy young leopard with green dreadlocks and a wide smile; he's energetic, enthusiastic, sociable, self-confident and ambitious – and he loves football. Meet Zakumi, the official mascot for the 2010 Fifa World Cup. For 40 years, each Fifa World Cup tournament has had its own unique mascot. The first was a lion called World Cup Willie, the mascot for the 1966 event, hosted by England. Fifa and the South Africa 2010 Local Organising Committee (LOC) have given the 2010 mascot a distinct personality and personal history. "One thing is for sure, Zakumi will be first on the dancefloor and last off it at the biggest party in the world," Fifa says on its website. "He symbolizes South Africa and the rest of the African continent through his self-confidence, pride, hospitality, social skills and warm-heartedness." BAFANA BAFANA South Africa's national football team, known as Bafana Bafana ("The Boys"), has a relatively short international history. The first team to represent all South Africans only played its first match in 1992. Previous host winners Six of the seven champions have won one of their titles while playing in their own homeland, the exception being Brazil, who finished as runners-up after losing the deciding match on home soil in 1950. England (1966) and France (1998) won their only titles while playing as host nations. Uruguay (1930), Italy (1934) and Argentina (1978) won their first titles as host nations but have gone on to win again, while Germany (1974) won their second title on home soil. Article by The Boma Bar,
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
The value of a good drink: "Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink I feel shame. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this wine, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this wine and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver." ~ Jack Handy WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties. "When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!" ~ Brian O'Rourke WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people. One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm. Here's how it went: "Well ya see Norm...A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed firstThis natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."
LÍNEA DIRECTA WITH YOU Via its International Department, Línea Directa offers all foreign policyholders residing in Spain customer service by telephone in both English and German. As a result, customers can take out their policy, make any type of enquiry, present claims, send documentation and enjoy 24 hour road assistance, all in their own language, with a single call to 902 352 325 (902 123 540 in German), at a time which is convenient for them, whatever product they have purchased. In addition, the same department offers its policyholders a translation service for dealing with repair garages. The customer service in English is the only one in Spain which also makes it possible for the customer to make contact by telephone from outside Spain, by calling 0034 91 807 49 06 from a mobile phone or 0034 902 325 325 from a landline. CUSTOMER SERVICE HELP LINES IN ENGLISH Information and new policies 902 325 325 9am-7pm (Monday to Friday) From outside Spain: 0034 91 807 49 06 (mobiles) 0034 902 325 325. (landline) Information and new policies 902 326 326 9am-5.30pm. (Monday to Friday) From outside Spain: 0034 91 807 49 07 (mobiles) 0034 902 326 326. (landline) Travel Assistance 900 120 123 (24 hours, 365 days) From outside Spain: 0034 91 807 42 56 (mobiles) 00 800 80 120 123 (landline) Hi this is Georgie, he is the Sentinellamalaga’s mascot. A Yorkshire Terrier who loves to run around and hide from us his owners. We are always trying to find him, he hides in the magazine every month. If you spot him please email us and tell us where he is. At the end of the year the person who spots him most and fastest will earn a reward. Email email@example.com
The best online service Línea Directa also offers all its foreign policyholders living in Spain the possibility of making all their enquiries and carrying out all operations by email at 902325325@linea directa.es. If customers write to this address, they will receive a quick, personalised reply in their own language to any type of question they might have or any enquiry they wish to make about their insurance. By dealing directly with policyholders, offering them a personalised service and committing itself to excellence and quality, Línea Directa has become the 5th largest Spanish insurer in only 15 years, with over 1.7 million customers. Included in this figure are over 60,000 foreign policyholders residing in Spain, who enjoy all the marvellous benefits which Línea Directa offers all its expatriate customers. If you wish to find out more, call 902 123 104 now. (902 123 963 in German)
" Al Qaeda are so misunderstood - they're trying to put the fun back into fundamentalism. It's a shame they just forgot the 'mental'."
This Months Guest comedian ... Omid Djalili An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a pub. To you, it's a joke. To an Iranian, it's a hostage situation." "Iranians always dispel that concept that comedy is the new rock and roll. Whenever comedians in the UK tour there's always busty blondes at the stage door wanting three-in-a-bed sex. With me, there's always two fat munters in veils." "Keep the laughter coming - it helps with my asylum application." "I was educated in West London and spent two years at the Feltham Young Offenders Institute, specialising in brutality. It got me a job at PC World, Brentford."
"I am in fact the only Iranian comedian in the world. That's technically three more than Germany." "Two Indian men are in bed together and one says to the other, 'I tell you, this wife-swapping is a total waste of time.'" "My point about culture is we're all the same, Greeks, Iranians, Arabs. We're very similar - we just differ in our levels of tax evasion." To a US audience: "In every culture we have something we are so embarrassed about and cannot explain. I mean, you have Paris Hilton and we have suicide bombing." "What do you call an honest Iranian businessman? Asif." Two Iranian womem with backpacks on walking down the street, one says to the other â€œdoes my bomb look big in this?â€?
Premier British fashion label expands in spain
ABOUT ADINI Adini is a leading British Design house and Manufacturer /Supplier of gorgeous Ladieswear clothes and Fashion Accessories, based in London, with brand values that entail outstanding quality, comfort and style at exceptional value. With over 30 years experience in the Fashion Industry, supplying clothing to hundreds of independent boutiques and retail shops in the UK, Europe and the USA, Adini has become a well respected and recognised fashion brand INTERESTED IN BECOMING A STOCKIST? Simply contact us in Spain on 0034 966 191 560 or 0034 676 059 997. Or email us direct at firstname.lastname@example.org
Komodo DragonCommon name: Ora, Komodo dragon, buaja darat (land crocodile) Phsical Characteristics Komodo dragons are the world's heaviest living lizards. They can grow to a length of 10 feet (over 3 meters), with an average length of 8 feet (2.5 meters) and weight of 200 lbs (91 kg.). Females are usually under 8 feet and weigh about 150 lbs. (68 kg.). The Komodo dragon's keen sense of smell, if aided by favourable wind, enables it to seek out carrion. Dead and decaying flesh. up to 5 miles (8.5 kilometres) away. Despite its size, the Komodo is fast moving and agile. They can climb trees and like all monitor lizards they are good swimmers. Their teeth are laterally compressed with serrated edges, resembling those of flesh-eating sharks. They have about 60 teeth that they replace frequently and are positioned to cut out chunks of its prey. The highly flexible skull allows it to swallow large pieces of its food. The Komodos mouth is full of virulent bacteria and even if its prey survives the original attack, it will die of infection later. In addition, recent research suggests that the Komodos have a venom gland which is more important in disabling their prey. Young dragons up to 29 inches (.75 meters) live in trees and eat insects, birds, eggs, small mammals and other reptiles. They will descend from the tree for carrion. Distribution & Habitat The distribution of Komodo dragons is restricted to the Lesser Sunda Islands of Rinca, Komodo, Flores and the smaller islands of Gili, Montang and Padar. Padar does not have a permanent population. The total range is less than 1,000 sq. km. Komodo National Park makes up all islands except Flores. The natural habitat of Komodo dragons is extremely harsh by human standards. These arid volcanic islands have steep slopes and little available water most of the year. A short monsoon season often produces local flooding. Outsiders found out about the Komodo dragons after WW1 when a report came from a downed aircraft and the surviving pilot swam to Komodo Island.
Behaviour: In the wild, Komodo dragons are generally solitary animals, except during the breeding season. Males maintain and defend a territory and patrol up to 1.2 miles (2 km.) per day. Territories are dependent on the size of the dragon. Feeding ranges extend further and may be shared with other males. A dragon will allow other dragons to cross its territory when they are on a food run. Dragons maintain burrows within their core ranges and occasionally males will swim from island to island over long distances. They regulate their body temperature (thermoregulation) Various physiological responses to controlling body temperature. Examples: ectothermic, endorthermic and heterothermic. by using a burrow The Komodo is carnivorous and cannibalistic and it has a prodigious appetite. They regularly kill prey as large as pigs and small deer, and have been known to bring down an adult water buffalo. They are opportunistic feeders and will eat anything they can overpower including small dragons and small or injured humans (dragons make up to 10% of their diet). Fascinating Fact: An eyewitness account revealed that a 101 lb (46 kg.) dragon ate a 90 lb. (41 kg.) pig in 20 minutes. As a comparison, a 100 lb. person would have to eat 320 quarter pound hamburgers in less than 20 minutes to keep up with the dragon. Reproduction &Growth The life expectancy of a Komodo is between 20 to 40 years. As noted above, Komodo dragons are generally solitary animals, except during the breeding season. The male Komodo dragon presses his snout to the female's body, and flicks her with his long, forked tongue to obtain chemical information about her receptivity. He then scratches her back with his long claws, making a ratchet-like noise. If unrece ptive, she raises and inflates her neck and hisses loudly. The female wild dragons will utilize the nest mound of a brush turkey in which she will lay a clutch of up to 30 eggs. Hatchlings are about 15 inches (40 centimetres) and weigh 3.5 ounces (100 g.).
CAPRICORN tarot the devil 22nd December – 20th January My motto is never go against your gut instinct or your own morals, if you do, you will have regrets until the end of the year. You’re too kind; sometimes it’s okay to say no. Even if saying no breaks the mould, changes the pattern, GOOD some things have to change start by saying no!
Aquarius- tarot the star 21st January – 18th February It’s a sociable month for you, theatre dance yummy food too. Anyone looking to get the written word published goes for it now, push forward where a door has been closed it will suddenly appear to be open. Oh yes did I mention the cards are indicating a pregnancy my card that indicates twins is out, two babies, how wonderful enjoy
PISCIS tarot card the moon 19th February. – 20th March Restless souls seeking knowledge seek and find that meditation group! Feed your soul it’s famished. Planning ahead for work change July is the month were the cogs start to spin. Don’t mix business with pleasure. ARIES tarot card the emperor 21ST March – 20th April. Emotional tides ebb and flow, all decisions have to be yours. If friends feel shut out whilst you make your decisions they will understand at the end of the day. I feel all this emotions is about where you want to live. Remember home is where the heart is and home makes us happy, happiness makes us healthy, follow your heart.
TAURUS tarot card the hierophant 21st April – 21st May It’s no good looking back in anger, and some things are best left unsaid silence is golden, you’ve heard of karma! Yes well watch and wait. Travel connected to business brings rewards and an end to problems. By the end of the month your energy levels are high to use it all in one go.
GEMINI tarot card the lovers 22nd May – June 21st Flirty male Gemini’s Oh my your pushing the boat out here to please the ladies, don’t push too hard it may cause confusion, little n often, not the big bang. Guys by being in touch with your emotional side it will benefit physical! Hurry up all you ladies who have been showered with love and adoration, yes its true to say I can see the wedding cake. With the two of cups in your spread its love and affection that will truly blossom. Don’t take too long to say yes! CANCEER tarot the chariot 22nd June – 22nd July Is it cautious crabs or crabby creatures, come on you sensitive souls shake of the doldrums and be positive and ready to seize the moment, particularity in work, if you put the positive energy into work now long term rewards are there. Small business enterprises look positive, ensure your qualifications and required certificates meet required standards don’t leave things to chance.
LEO tarot the strength 23rd July – 23rd August If things are not moving, don’t push! Enjoy the quiet time it will be busy in September, particularly with family members, they do seem to be quite needy and look to you for support in more ways than one. I see taking time to plan a journey will pay of leaving things to chance will cause delays and change, and no I am not talking about the volcano ash! Whose car documents want updating!
VIRGO tarot the hermit 24th August – 22nd September Ever wish there was two of you, talk about meeting yourself coming back, you can’t do everything for everyone, female Virgos I see your mothering instinct running high, and yes celebrations babies born and conceived. Take stock of you own needs. People with the name Julie are e good to be around it’s a lucky run for you Virgos through to September 12th.
LIBRA tarot Justice 23rd September – 23rd October
In life, there are cycles, seasons, endings and beginnings. All are beneficial it’s just at times; we don’t always recognise the sighs that indicate and offer the brighter future. You Liberians are entering a time that brings choice and change to your door! Try to look beyond the calamity of sudden change and focus on the positivity. Stagnation means we exist, change and evolve.. SCORPIO Tarot card death remember it’s not always the physical, it can indicate the end of a cycle or a particular phase in your life! 24th October – 22nd November Don’t fear you have the death card out in your mini spread, it strengthens the fact you cannot go against change, letting go of old business makes space for the new. Aim for October to be month were all new ventures come together it’s a favourable month for signing documents. People who work in the performing arts will enjoy a busy period coming important offers around the 23rd of June. How exciting.
SAGITTARIUS tarot card temperance A spiritual note! Temperance depicted in the Marseilles tarot as a winged female, analogous to the queen of heaven, but she has no crown. This card urges meditation on a universal life, harmony and the purification of all matters. In your mini spread, I see couples joining forces moving in together, happiness and love. If you’re in a relationship and moving house, I see a temporary move before you become settled in your final destination. The hassle will be worth the end result in property changes
Historical & Botanical Gardens It is very rare these days to find a hidden gem, I have however found one in these fantastic gardens.Before I moved here I had visited a few places but can honestly say that I had never heard of these before, so when I visited I wasn’t sure what I would find. I was expecting Palm trees and Olive bushes but what I found transported me to places all over the world. In the cool shades of such a fantastic variation of trees & shrubs interspersed with water falls and ponds you can lose yourself for hours walking along the well kept footpaths. To cater for all they have various routes for those who want a quick trip, even suitable for wheelchairs upto to the long haul with almost a mile of trail. After you have meandered your way around & witnessed the statues,flora and fauna you can take sustenance in the coffee shop or buy a souvenir from the gift shop. 1855-1990 The origins of La Concepcion can be traced back to the merging of several estates located to the north of the city of Malaga. These were home to olive and almond trees and possibly vines, though the citrus trees were the most numerous. The gardens’ creators were Jorge Loring Oyarzabal and Amalia Heredia Livermore, who purchased the land on which they stand in about 1855. According to written records of the time, they had originally come up with the idea of a garden seven years earlier while on their honeymoon, which saw them embark upon on a tour of Europe. The Marquis and Marchioness’ comfortable economic situation coupled with their first-hand experience of some of Europe’s finest gardens and their commercial dealings abroad enabled them to cultivate the most exotic of plant species from around the world. In order to ensure that their dream came to fruition, they enlisted the services of a French gardener, Chamousst, who selected and planted the gardens’ flora, an endeavour for which he was awarded a number of prizes, as witnessed by newspaper reports of the late XIX century. La Concepcion quickly earned itself a fine reputation throughout Europe, though not for its exuberantly beautiful gardens; the source of this renown was in fact the magnificent collection of archaeological remains on display in the Loring Museum, a small, Doric-style building erected on the site of a Roman mosaic discovered in Cartama depicting the feats of Hercules.
For many years, the Lorings strove to restore all of the archaeological remains that they encountered. Without doubt, the most significant of these was the Lex Flavia Malacitana, a bronze piece bearing the Roman laws that governed Malaga in the year 80 AD which now resides in the National Archaeology Museum. Following the death of its owners and the family’s economic decline, La Concepcion was bought in 1911 by a married couple from Bilbao, the Echevarria-Echevarrietas, who extended the gardens by creating a number of new areas. 1990-2006 En 1990, the entire estate (a total of 49 hectares, taking into account the historical garden plus the surrounding agricultural and forest land) was purchased by Malaga City Council for 600 million pesetas (€3,606,073). In 1991, the “City of Malaga” Municipal Botanical Trust was founded to run and administer the estate. The construction of El Limonero reservoir saw these 49 hectares of land divided into two sections by a road: 26 of these were declared green belt, with the remaining 23 enclosed hectares making up La Concepcion Historical-Botanical Gardens. Once the necessary infrastructure and upgrading work had been carried out, it was opened to the public in 1994 with two main aims: the conservation and improvement of the historical garden and the creation on the estate of a botanical garden (a cultural, educational and scientific centre connected with the world of plants with the majority of its species on display in living collections). Historical heritage In addition to its botanical riches, La Concepcion boasts an equally significant historical heritage. In the XIX century, La Concepcion served as a meeting point for a whole host of illustrious figures of the time. Politicians, artists, aristocrats and the noble Malaga bourgeoisie all frequented its gardens. As a result, a number of distinguished buildings were erected here: the magnificent Stately Home, the cypress house, the administrator’s house, the gardener’s hut and the schoolhouse; two iron greenhouses; a large arbour; fountains, footbridges, flights of steps, a delightful viewpoint, and, most impressive of all, the Loring Museum, a small, Doric-style building which housed the archaeological discoveries unearthed in the excavations financed by the estate’s first owners. Some of these archaeological pieces are on display around the museum, having recently been relocated as part of a project by the architect Jose Fernandez Oyarzabal. Send in your photos of your visit. email@example.com
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1. What is the longest river in Italy? 2. By what name is an elk known in North America? 3. Which author created the detective Hercule Poirot? 4. What was the name of the dog owned by “The Woodentops” in the TV series? 5. In which game do players try to reduce their score? 6. What is the sum of the interior angles of a triangle? 7. What is a labyrinth? 8. Which famous mountain overlooks Rio de Janeiro? 9. On the roads what shape are the signs that give orders? 10. Gordon Sumner is the real name of which popstar? 11. Which Australian word is slang for a friend? 12. What flavour is the Greek spirit ouzo? 13. What name is given to the tracks on which tanks and bulldozers run? 14. What are the colours of the Italian flag? 15. How many times did Red Rum win the Grand National? 16. What was Frasier’s surname in the TV sitcom? 17. Which city is referred to as the city of Dreaming Spires? 18. If an MP changes party what are they said to cross? 19. How many oars are used to propel a gondola? 20. Who passed sentence on Jesus?
Answers on page 82
Stereo grams Turn the page sideways anti- clockwise and look at the image you should see a skull? Canâ€™t see it, heres some tips that might help The Pullback Get very close to the stereogram, and very, very slowly pull it away from you. At first you won't even be able to focus on the image... However, keep moving the image in and out, relaxing, and it will appear. Look at the Reflection You'll need to LOOK at something about twice the distance of the image. It turns out we have something that is almost always available that is the exact distance... your reflection. By looking at your reflection, this will help, if not put the book one side of a glass door enough to let you see your reflection.then... After looking at your eye, simply stop focusing on your eye, and try to see the image. Repeat, switching your focus from your eye to the image, and your reflection... and suddenly you will get it.
Answers on page 82
Across 9. Deliberately vague (7) 10. Transparency (7) 11. Hero-worship (7) 12. Not this one (7) 13. Right away (9) 15. Bad treatment (5) 16. Engage in boisterous, drunken merrymaking (7) 19. Arm muscles (7) 20. Fire a weapon (5) 21. List of all the items in stock (9) 25. Atomic (7) 26. A number defining position or rank (7) 28. Enduring strength (7) 29. Hell (7)
Answers on page 82
Down 1. A US spacecraft (1960's) (6) 2. A regional dialect (6) 3. New Zealand bird(4) 4. Flaw (6) 5. A causative agent (chemistry) (8) 6. An award (10) 7. Funny farm (8) 8. Unrivalled (8) 14. Exact opposite(10) 16. Recklessness (8) 17. Inflexibly entrenched and unchangeable (8) 18. Train (8) 22. A stringed instrument (6) 23. Cantankerous (6) 24. The colour of the sun (6) 27. Goofy (4)
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z Discover how to break a code: Every number in the codeword grid is 'code' for a letter of the alphabet. Thus the number '12' may correspond to the letter 'L', for instance. We have given you 3 letters, 5 = P, 8 = D & 15 = L Answers on page 82
Using the letter grid below, how many words can you find. - Each word must contain the letter in the middle (O in this example, so BOLT is not allowed) - words must contain 3 or more letters (so AS is not allowed) - each letter can only be used as many times as it appears in the grid - no proper nouns , -There is as always a 9 letter conundrum. If you score more than 15 words well done
THE BEST COMEBACK LINE for 2008... For those that don't know him, Major General Peter Cosgrove is an 'Australian treasure!' General Cosgrove was interviewed on the radio recently. You'll love his reply to the lady who interviewed him concerning guns and children. Regardless of how you feel about gun laws you gotta love this! This is one of the best comeback lines of all time. It is a portion of an ABC interview between a female broadcaster and General Cosgrove who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military headquarters.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it? GENERAL COSGROVE: I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range. FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children? GENERAL COSGROVE: I don't see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: So, General Cosgrove, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: But you're equipping them to become violent killers.
GENERAL COSGROVE: We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery and shooting.
GENERAL COSGROVE: Well, Ma'am, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you?
Why Men Are Glad They Are Men Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. They know stuff about military tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. They can open all their own jars. Nail technicians and hairdressers don't rob them blind. They can go to the bathroom without a support group. They don't have to learn to spell a new last name. They can leave the motel bed unmade. They can kill their own food. They get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. Wedding plans take care of themselves. If someone forgets to invite them to something, they can still be friends. Their underwear is €10 for a three-pack. If they are 34 and single, nobody notices. Everything on their face stays its original color. They can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. They don't have to clean their apartment if the meter reader is coming. Car mechanics tell them the truth. They can quietly watch a game with their buddy for hours without ever thinking: "He must be mad at me." They don’t have to continually pull their knickers from their ass
They don’’t damage the ozone layer with copious amounts of hair laquer and perfume Same work — more pay. Grey hair and wrinkles only add character. Wedding dress: €2,000. Tuxedo rental: 75 quid. They can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, they just might become lifelong friends. Their pals can be trusted never to trap them with "So, notice anything different?" They are not expected to know the names of more than five colors. They don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. They almost never have strap problems in public. They are unable to see wrinkles in their clothes. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. They don't have to shave below their neck. A few belches are tolerated, even expected. Their belly usually hides their big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons. They can "do" their nails with a pocketknife. They have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache. Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes.
TRAIN A1 Andalus Express Coastal Service RENFE Ticket Info
952 537 227 952 360 202 902 240 202
BUS EMERGENCY NUMBERS Emergency Ambulance Fire Brigade Local Police National Police Guardia Civil Helpline in English Red Cross Ambulance
112 061 080 092 091 062 902 102 112 952 444 499
HOSPITALS Carlos Haya Hospital Civil Hospital Maternity Hospital Costa del Sol Hospital Hospital Clinico Univ
951 030 100 951 030 300 951 030 200 952 102 112 952 649 400
HEALTH CENTRES Alhaurin de la Torre Alhaurin el Grande Alora Benalmadena Cartama Central Health Service Coin Fuengirola (Los Boliches) Fuengirola (West) Health 24hr Response Mijas (La Cala) Mijas (Las Lagunas) Torremolinos
952 410 426 952 595 000 952 498 100 952 440 305 952 424 042 955 018 000 952 453 336 952 460 036 952 468 835 902 505 060 952 492 150 951 062 247 952 386 484
CONSULATES British Irish U.S.A. The Netherlands
952 352 300 952 475 108 952 474 891 952 380 888
MALAGA AIRPORT Information 952 048 771/952 048 484 Arrivals T2 952 048 844 Arrivals T1 952 048 845 Departures 952 048 804 Gibraltar Airport 956 773 026
Alhaurin el Grande Benalmadena Fuengirola Malaga Torremolinos
952 490 709 952 443 563 952 475 066 952 350 061 952 380 965
TAXI Alhaurin de la Torre Alhaurin el Grande Benalmadena Coin Fuengirola Malaga Torremolinos
952 410 444 952 491 010 952 441 545 952 453 587 952 471 000 952 327 950 952 380 600
TOWN HALLS Alora Benalmadena Campillos Coin Fuengirola Malaga Mijas Torremolinos
952 496 100 952 579 800 952 722 168 952 453 018 952 589 300 952 135 000 952 485 900 952 379 400
MARKETS DAYS Tuesday - Antequera, Fuengirola. Wednesday - Alhaurin de la Torre, Arroyo de la Miel, Rincon de la Victoria, Saydo Hotel Mollina, La Cala de Mijas. Thursday - Alhaurin el Grande at the Feria, Pizarra, Torremolinos at Recinto Ferial Ground. Friday - Arroyo de la Miel, Cartama Country Farmers Market, Cartama Feria Ground, Mijas Costa, Rincon de la Victoria. Saturday - Coin, Fuengirola, La Cala de Mijas, Ojen, Caratracca Car Boot. Sunday - Benagalbon, Coin La Trocha, Estacion de Cartama, Fuengirola, Malaga next to the Stadium, Pizarra Car Boot, Torremolinos by Crocodile Park.
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1) River Po
3) Agatha Christie
14) Red, green, white
6) 180 degrees
7) A maze
8) Sugar Loaf
18) The floor
20) Pontius Pilate
Codeword: 1=F, 2=N, 3=H, 4=J, 5=P, 6=M, 7=T, 8=D,
9=S, 10=W, 11=C, 12=Y, 13=Z, 14=I, 15=L, 16=E, 17=Q,
18=B, 19=O, 20=G, 21=R, 22=V, 23=X, 24=K, 25=A, 26=U,
Published on Jun 20, 2010
The coasts No 1 A5 magazine. The little mag that fits in your bag. The Sentinella Malaga is a free publication in Spain, Malaga province, se...