Page 1

Advertising Bar / Shop Supplies Business Opportunities Industrial Cleaners Pool Tables / Vending Machines Printing / Graphic Design

Pg 8 & 23 Pg 7 & 87 Pg 10 Pg 7 Pg 9 Pg 82-83

Computer Sales / Repairs Internet Providers

Pg 12 Pg 13

Bars, Restaurants & Clubs

Accountants / Finance / Legal Insurance

Dentists Doctors Hair & Nails Hypnotherapists Massage & Beauty Centres

Air conditioning & Heating Builders / Construction Electricians Furniture & Auctions Gardeners Garden Centres Glazing / Glass Curtains Locksmiths Plumbers Retaining Walls Swimming Pools & Maintenance TV / Satellite Waterbeds

Pg 5, 14-23

48, 51-53 & 59 Pg 3 & 53-54

Pg 26-27 Pg 24 Pg 25 Pg 25 Pg 25

Pg 44-45 Pg 32-35 Pg 60 Pg 48-51 Pg 36 Pg 46 Pg 31 Pg 32 Pg 36-37 Pg 44 & 47 Pg 40-41 Pg 42-43 Pg 50

Water Softeners Welding Engineers

Pg 36 & 47 Pg 37


Pg 61

Astrologists Laundrettes Postal / Couriers

Pg 10 Pg 10 Pg 11

Dog hotels Pet food Pet Transport

Pg 54 Pg 55 Pg 54

Businesses for sale Estate Agents Holiday Apartments Private Sales / Rentals

Pg 66 & 68 Pg 65 & 67 Pg 68 Pg 65-66

Babies / Children / Bouncy Castles British Supermarkets Discount Shops Greeting Cards / Gift Shops Jewellery Online Shopping

Bicycles Car Hire Flights House Clearances Mechanics Removals Van Hire

Pg 61 & 77 Pg 69 Pg 72 Pg 69, 72, 73, 75 Pg 74 Pg 74 & 79

Pg 6 Pg 88 Pg 77 Pg 79, 81 Pg 80 Pg 74-75, 79, 81 Pg 79

"When the holes are open, water can flow in and the submarine can go down. If it needs to rise up again, I only need to press the air into the bottom space to dispel the water out." Farmer launches home-made sub! A Chinese farmer has completed a successful maiden voyage in his home-made submarine. Tao Xiangli, 34, a migrant worker in Beijing with only a primary school education, spent 18 months making the 1.5m high, 6.5m long sub. He tested it by taking it down to the bottom of a local river and staying there for nearly five minutes. He greeted onlookers with a triumphant V-sign as he opened the hatch after returning to the surface. Tao said he made the battery-powered submarine without any expert advice and that most of the parts came from flea markets. "The principle is very easy. The submarine bottom has two holes, which are closed when it's floating," he said.

Woman chooses croc over husband An Australian woman divorced her husband after he asked her to choose between him and her pet crocodile. Vicki Lowing said there was no way she could give up 5ft long Johnie which she says is "like a child" to her. Mrs Lowing has hand-raised the croc for 13 years and gives it the run of the house. The trained nurse, from Melbourne, adopted the crocodile after it was left on her doorstep. Her husband said she spent too much time with the pet and asked her to give it up in a bid to save their marriage, but she refused. It was only after the crocodile stopped growing that Mrs Lowing realised it was female. She said: "I had to tell my son his brother was actually his sister and I was secretly thrilled - I've always wanted a daughter."

Police force quits after lottery win A town's entire police force has quit in Hungary after winning more than ÂŁ10 million in the lottery. The 15-strong squad in Budaors scooped the jackpot with their ticket on Tuesday and all resigned on the spot. It was the sixth biggest win in Hungarian lottery history.

Línea Directa launches two special offers for its expatriate customers: • Foreign residents in Spain who take out a car insurance policy with Línea Directa will enjoy one month’s free insurance. • In addition, policyholders who are already Línea Directa customers will get two months free insurance if they take out insurance on a new car. Faithful to its vocation as a leader and innovator, Línea Directa has recently launched, and only for foreign residents in Spain who do not speak Spanish, two exclusive special offers: 12x11, which offers its new customers one month’s free insurance, and 12x10, aimed at expatriates who are already Línea Directa customers.

This offer gives them two months free insurance when they take out a new policy on a vehicle which is not already insured with Línea Directa. Another benefit which Línea Directa offers its foreign customers is that they can use all its services in English and German. As a result, customers can take out their policy, make any type of enquiry, present claims, send documentation and enjoy 24 hour assistance, all in their own language, with a single call at a time which is convenient for them. In addition, Línea Directa offers its foreign policy holders a translation service when required for dealing with repair garages.

These benefits can be added to the others which all our customers enjoy when they take out third party or fully comprehensive insurance with Línea Directa; cover such as Legal Support, Personal Injury Claims, Direct Service or Vehicle Occupant Insurance, which are included in all policies completely free of charge. But there are extra benefits which Línea Directa customers can enjoy, among which are included: • Travel assistance from kilometre 0, which provides technical road assistance 24 hours a day, both in Spain and abroad. • Three weeks use of a courtesy vehicle for expatriate policyholders if their vehicle is off the road while being repaired, as opposed to the limit of 7 days which was previously offered. • Recovery of the points-based driving licence and fines management, which guarantees legal support towards traffic fines which result from breaking road safety regulations and which lead to the driving licence being withdrawn or an economic

sanction. Policyholders also receive up to €500 for attending the road safety re-education course which allows them to recover their driving licence if they have lost all their points. Línea Directa began to operate in Spain in October 1995 and is currently the market leader in direct motor insurance sales in Spain. It is the company which has maintained the highest growth rate in its sector, due to the fact that in only fourteen months, it has become the third largest Spanish motor insurance company, with over 1,660,000 customers. Línea Directa’s business model focuses on the use of direct channels (telephone and Internet) which reduces handling times and costs, cuts out the middleman and offers its customers a quality service at highly competitive prices. Fore more information, go to (English version) or call 902 123 104

Did you know.... Months that begin on a Sunday will always have a "Friday the 13th." As is the case this year in February, March & November. Any month that has a Friday the 13th also has a Wednesday the 25th. In Italy, it is usual to leave out 13 in numbering the lottery tickets. Napoleon, Paul Getty, Herbert Hoover and Franklin Delano Roosevelt were all practicing triskaidekaphobes (people with a fear of the number 13). It is documented that this fear of Friday the 13th costs millions of dollars a year in business loss due absenteeism and cancelled appointments. Greek philosophers called 13 an 'imperfect' number. According to legend the British government sought to debunk the Friday 13th superstition 100 years ago. A special ship was commissioned named H.M.S. Friday. Her keel was laid on a Friday, she was launched on a Friday, the crew was selected on a Friday and Captain Jim Friday was put in command. Finally, H.M.S. Friday embarked on her maiden voyage - on a Friday - and was never seen or heard from again. But many dismiss these tales as poppycock and claim that Friday 13th is actually a lucky day. Apollo 13 was launched on April the 13th at 13:13 local time on Pad 39 (3 times 13). Fear of Friday the 13th is called "Paraskavedekatriaphobia", derived from three Greek words.

Republic of Hungary is this months A-Z feature of ¨Around the World¨ Population: 10,020,000 Total area: 93,030 km2 Number of people per km2: 107.7 Official language: Hungarian (Magyar) Currency: Forint (HUF) Capital city: Budapest Location: Hungary is a landlocked country in the Carpathian Basin of Central Europe, bordered by Austria, Slovakia, Ukraine, Romania, Serbia, Croatia, and Slovenia. Main Exports: Machinery, transport equipment, foodstuffs and chemicals. Life Expectancy: Male: 67.28 years and female: 76.3 years

Famous for: Hungary played an important part in accelerating the collapse of communism across Eastern Europe when in 1989 it opened its border with Austria, allowing thousands of East Germans to escape to the West. Just a few months later the Berlin Wall was history. Biggest Celebrities: The Gabor sisters, Eva, Zsa Zsa and Magda. Harry Houdini and Monica Seles. Although Houdini claimed to have been born on April 6, 1874 in Appleton, Wisconsin, he actually was born on March 24, 1874 in Budapest, Hungary. Worlds oldest, largest, first: Hungary is one of the oldest countries in Europe, founded way back in the year 896. The Kingdom of Hungary was one of the largest states in Europe, around 1000 CE. The country is home to the largest thermal water cave system and the second largest thermal lake in the world (Lake Hévíz), the

largest lake in Central Europe (Lake Balaton), and the largest natural grassland in Europe (Hortobágy). Hungary was amongst the first communist-era countries that opposed the Soviet regime during the Cold War. The Hungarian Grand Prix of 1986 was the first Formula One race to take place behind the Iron Curtain. Famous Hungarian: Joseph Pulitzer (April 10, 1847 - October 29, 1911), born in Budapest, was an American newspaper man and journalist. The Pulitzer Prizes, first awarded in 1917, was set up by Pulitzer's will. Hungarian Inventions: The Rubik's cube (Erno Rubik), the noiseless match (János Irinyi), and the krypton electric bulb (Imre Bródy). Several other inventions were made by Hungarians who fled the country prior to World War II, including holography (Dennis

Gabor), the ballpoint pen (László Bíró), the theory of the hydrogen bomb (Edward Teller), and the BASIC programming language (John Kemeny, with Thomas E. Kurtz). Funny Money: In 1946, Hungary issued banknotes of a face value of 1,000,000,000,000,000,000 pengo (one quintillion pengo) - the world's highest denomination ever. The English Patient: The story of the multiple Oscar-winner film, The English Patient, is actually based on the life of László Almásy, a Hungarian explorer and traveller. Amazing but true: Hungarians are a very special people. No one is quite sure where they came from, although they are clearly related to the ancient tribe known as Huns (maybe you've heard of Attilla the Hun?). The Hungarian language is unique, unrelated to any other language on earth, although it has some similarities with Scandinavian languages.

El Mojito´s – La Carihuela Have you ever gone out for a meal and can’t decide where to go because everyone wants something different – Dad wants a big steak, Mum only wants a salad, Gran hasn’t got a big appetite so a snack or small meal will do and the kids only want chips or a burger. Well look no further ¨El Mojito¨ is the place for you. A large air conditioned bar with sunny terrace with an extensive menu offering something for all tastes and budgets. Meals are served all day from 11am to 10pm. Their 3 course ¨Menu del Dia¨ is only €7.95 and is served from 1pm to 8pm. Main meal for two plus a bottle of wine is only €18.50 per couple. Vegetarian meals are available as well as a children’s menu. This bar really has something for everyone. * Games room with machines and pool table and 6 internet stations to keep the kids happy.

* Live entertainment, Bingo and quizzes. * Big screen and T.V.´s showing football and sport. * Book exchange. * Baby changing room and high chairs. The main entertainment and eating area are non smoking but a separate smoking room with T.V.´s and internet is available if you prefer. If you are visiting La Carihuela you must call into Bar El Mojito to see for yourselves and why not try their speciality cocktail the ¨Mojito¨. Clive, Irene, Roger and Jenny have been running the bar for 13 years now and will really make you feel welcome. P.S. They also own the Off license next door for all your take home drinks. See advert on pg19 and map on pg56/57.

Roasted Squash & Corn Pudding

Ingredients: - 1kg acorn squash, cut in half lengthwise and seeded - tbsp butter - cup milk - 1 egg and 2 egg whites - 1/2 cup corn kernels - 1/4 tsp anise seed, chopped - 1/2 cup chopped spring onions - 1/4 tsp fine grain sea salt - 1/3 cup grated white cheddar cheese - Pinch of freshly grated nutmeg

Preparation: Preheat the oven to 190ยบ C. Trim squash so it sits flat on tray with the with the bowl shaped part facing up. Rub the orange flesh of the squash with the butter.

Serves: 4 - 6 people Cover with foil and bake for 40 minutes or until the squash is tender. Combine milk, eggs, corn, anise seed, half of the spring onions, nutmeg, and salt. Fill each of the squash bowls 3/4 full. Continue baking uncovered for another 30 - 40 minutes, or until the squash is completely cooked through, and the pudding has set. At the last minute sprinkle with cheese and finish under the grill to brown. Serve hot sprinkled with the remaining spring onions.


Top 5 things people do while using their mobile. 1. Use the toilet. 2. Talking while driving. 3. Texting while driving. 4. Talking on the phone while making a purchase. 5. Using the Stylus as a toothpick or to clean your nails and ears.

Top 10 Mobile phone etiquette rules people still break. 1. Loud and annoying ring tones. 2. Talking way too loud in public. 3. The inability to NOT answer a call/chat or put your phone away. 4. Using the speaker phone in public. 5. Paying more attention to your phone than to the person that you’re with. 6. Holding inappropriate conversations in public. 7. Using your mobile phone’s camera without permission. 8. Rudely interrupting conversations. 9. Talk on their mobile phones during a movie. 10. Disturbing live performances.

The Look You Want… Without the Surgery Transform your Face, Body and Smile at Transform All. Transform offers you Non-Surgical Solution's to transform your Body, Face and Smile. Transform is situated at the Miraflores Massage and Beauty Centre in Riviera, Mijas Costa making convenient if you live or are visiting anywhere on the Costa del Sol. All treatments are carried out by trained and qualified consultants so you know you’re in safe hands at Transform All. Transform Your Body Breast Enlargement & Enhancement with our unique non-surgical system giving you proven results without the pain, inconvenience and considerable cost of traditional surgery. Permanent Body Hair Removal & Thread Vein Removal with our state of the art IPL machines your fully trained and qualified consultants will assess your problem and explain the treatments available. Liposuction using the Transform Ultrasonic and Infrared 4 step Non-Surgical system, Sonic Transform is a painless ultrasound treatment to remove cellulite and fat cells, reshape the curves of your body and gets rid of Orange Peel skin. It’s a completely non-invasive and non-surgical approach to style your figure and trim your waist, hips, thighs and flanks. Transform All has spent years looking into the systems which give the best results at a fraction of the cost of the Traditional Surgical. Transform Your Face Anti Aging, Spider Vein Removal, Sun Spot Removal and Permanent Hair Removal using IPL (Intense Pulsed Light) your consultant will recommend a course of treatments right for you. Using one of the safest known methods available and the most up to date IPL machines. Non-Surgical Liposuction to remove unwanted fat pockets giving you a more youthful look. Transform Your Smile Teeth Whitening With the Transform Professional Cool Blue System giving you the bright white smile you always dreamed of stand out in a crowd for only 99€. For further information visit: or call 605 865 755 for a free consultation. Home treatments available upon request.

know it, we have a nursery downstairs. Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days. The following have all appeared in Church Magazines, or on Church Notice Boards. Next weekend's Fasting & Prayer Conference in Whitby includes all meals. Sunday morning sermon: 'Jesus Walks on the Water' Sunday evening sermon: 'Searching for Jesus.' Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands. Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help. For those of you who have children and don't

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice. Scouts are saving aluminium cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children. The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility. Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow. The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

residents on all aspects of living in Spain. If you would like to help as a volunteer or need information or help please contact us on 691 761 088 / 655 903 182 or visit our website at Age Care Association The Mayor of Benalmádena and the Councillor for Foreign Residents attended an ACA fund-raising lunch at Restaurant Cristal, Benalmádena Costa on the 8th of October. More than 70 people attended including Age Care’s oldest patron - Mrs Doris Schatzner (90 yrs). A grand total of €3,118 was raised by the raffle and a further €320 was made on the day. Age Care Association would like to thank Cristal @ Costamar for their hospitality and A1 Subescaleras S.L for funding the raffle tickets. We would also like to thank everyone who donated prizes including Hotel Tamisa Golf, Sandalf Clinic, Dean Fishing Trips, Fortuna, Torrequebrada Casino, Byblos Restaurant. Age Care Association offers practical help and advice for English-speaking retired

First Ever Andalucía Animal Network – Tuesday 24th November There are many charities dealing with the appalling problem of our abused and abandoned animals. Some of the charities are well-funded and supported; others are often single individuals who have found they are acting as a refuge with little means of help and assistance. BUT what if ALL the animal charities and worthy causes came together and used their resources and numbers to influence local government and suppliers? Just think what we could achieve working together... Well that’s just what the team from Pepi’s and GPAR are trying to arrange with the support of CHAIN – Charity for Animals In Need. The Hotel Molino de Saydo in Mollina, has very kindly donated the use of the room and CHAIN will supply the refreshments. The event is FREE to anyone involved in working with animals. Please contact Wendy at CHAIN for more details, tel 672 399 320 or email The Lions Christmas Fayre The Mijas La Cala Lions are holding their Christmas Fayre once again at The Tamisa Hotel on Sunday 29th November. All children will get a chance to meet Father Christmas. A large selection of Christmas goodies will be on sale. Stalls are limited at a cost of 25€. Anyone interested should call Joy on 952 471 457. John Peach and his staff at The Tamisa will put on a special Sunday lunch on the day at just 15 euros.

One liners from the King of Comedy Mr Tommy Cooper... I'm so lazy I've got a smoke alarm with a snooze button. I bought some Armageddon cheese today, and it said on the packet 'Best Before End' So I went to buy a watch, and the man in the shop said "Analogue." I said "No, just a watch. I went into a shop and I said, "Can someone sell me a kettle." The bloke said "Kenwood". I said, "Where is he?" So I went in to a pet shop. I said, "Can I buy a goldfish?" The guy said, "Do you want an aquarium?" I said, "I don't care what star sign it is." My mate is in love with two schoolbags. He's bisatchel. So I met the bloke who invented crosswords today. I can't remember his name, it's P something T something R. I was reading this book today, The History Of Glue, I couldn't put it down. I phoned the local ramblers club today, and this bloke just went on and on. My mate asked me "What do you think of voluntary work?? I said "I wouldn't do it if you paid me." I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any. Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.

As a pool owner, you’ve probably a rough idea of how to keep your pool water clean, but are you doing it right? A swimming pool is a sophisticated piece of equipment. Don’t expect to know everything about it without asking questions or you'll find yourself with smelly water, a green pool (with perhaps hair to match!) and a depleted bank account. Think about it; keeping fifty tons or more of exposed-to-the-elements water in crystal-clear condition is no easy task. A pool is constantly assaulted by algae and fungi spores, garden debris, rain, sun, wildlife, pets, building/quarry/road dust and a host of other pollutants. That's before the humans get into the water and add their share of sun-oils, hair, dead skin, body fats and urine (yes, people still do!) When pools go bad, they can go bad really quickly. A properly maintained pool is both visually and biologically clean. You can tell if it’s visually clean just by looking at it, but ‘biologically clean’? How will you know? You must use a test kit to measure your pool’s chlorine and pH levels. (Your pool-shop will be happy to show you how it’s done.) If you maintain the correct chemical levels bacteria and algae will be killed, your pool will be ‘biologically clean’ and you’ll never be troubled by algae. ‘pH’ refers to the acidity/alkalinity level of your pool water. pH is vital because, unless your pool is within a certain pH range, the chlorine won’t dissolve into the correct ratio of sanitiser and stabiliser. In other words, unless your pH is properly adjusted, chlorine won’t keep your pool as clean as it should be. Most pool owners don’t realise the importance of pH. The correct range is 7.2 - 7.6. Measure your pool’s current pH level. If the level is too high add ‘pH minus.’ If the level is too low, add ‘pH plus.’ ‘pH minus’ & ‘pH plus’ are stocked by your pool-shop. Now check the chlorine level. The ideal level is 1 - 3 parts per million (ppm). There are different types of chlorine available but we recommend just one type: Any chlorine, in granular, powder or tablet form that is described as ‘Stabilised Trichlor’, because it’s very effective in fighting bacteria and algae, it’s very easy to use, and it lasts 4 to 5 times longer than liquid bleach, shock chlorine or calcium hypochlorite. Stabilised Trichlor may cost more initially, but will save you money in the long run. The sun will destroy liquid

bleach (‘shock’) and calcium hypochlorite after 4 hours. Stabilised Trichlor will keep working for over 24 hours when dissolved, so more chlorine is left in the water to do the job of sanitising, and less is wasted when burned off by the sun. Stabilised Chlorine will last longer than 2-3 times the amount of unstabilised chlorine. For most applications, we usually recommend using the 200 grams slow dissolving ‘hockey puck’ style tablets. With pH at 7.4, one of these tablets will raise the Free Chlorine by 1.5 ppm in 50 cubic metres of water. Mix granulated or powder chlorine with water in a plastic bucket first. Remember, add chemicals to water, never water to chemicals. Tablets are easier to use; put them either into your skimmer basket or, if you have one, your chlorine feeder. One tablet for each 50 cubic metres is typical, but you may need more in the really hot weather, or after a rainstorm. Wash your hands after handling chemicals. Along with the up-keep of pH balance and chlorine level, there are several other important aspects of routine maintenance. These include vacuuming, back-washing, super-chlorination, pump-room operations, setting the timer and knowledge of your own filtration/circulation system. We cover all of these subjects and more on our PoolSchool course, which is tailored to each individual pool and pool-system. Pool School Graduates learn all about looking after their own pools - and they get a Pool School Book! (RRP€15). We would like to give a huge and heartfelt THANK-YOU to all who have visited us in our new shop in Alhaurin el Grande. For Xmas we have a range of presents for Pool and Spa-owners, priced from €5 to €5000; so there’s something for everyone. Make up a selection box! Have a wonderful Christmas and New Year; we hope to see you soon. Extracted and condensed from the Pool School Book, Price €15. Copyright remains with Author Ken Walker is the Director of Pool School and Deep Blue Pools. Contact them on 952 594 303 / 952 499 059. Download our Pool Maintenance Guide for just $9.99 (€6.80-ish)

Complete the autumn planting of perennials, shrubs, deciduous trees and spring bulbs in the garden. The winds can be very strong on the coast line so give extra care to the ties on trees and shrubs to avoid damage. Make sure the ties are not cutting through the plants as they grow, also hard or sharp ties can act like saws in the wind and cut into the trunks, stems and branches. Go into your garden this month and examine all your climbers, you may be surprised at how many wires are already cutting in, replace these immediately, ties must be loosened or replaced as the plant grows to avoid strangulation. If you purchase a plant with plastic strips held firmly to a cane by metal staples, remove both the cane and

strips as soon as planted, insert a new stake with ties, the cane should be pushed into the ground for 30 centimetres. To add interest to rockeries, dry walls or border edges consider planting succulents. Most of these are drought resistant, easy to propagate, have interesting long lasting flowers and need little care. AEONIUM ARBOREUM (Aeonium) - A branching evergreen perennial succulent which is extremely drought tolerant with bright green rosettes of leaves carried on the end of the stems. This is stunning in springtime with its domes of yellow star-shaped flowers, especially grown in masses. The rosettes shrink back during the summer months when dormant but regain their size with the first rains. This is an easy plant to grow which can be planted in full sun or part shade. Happy Gardening....


The Melbourne Cup is Australia's major annual thoroughbred horse race. Held since 1861 and billed as the race that stops a nation, it is a race for three-year-olds and over, over a distance of 3,200 metres. It is the richest and most prestigious "two-mile" handicap in the world. The event is held at around 3pm on the first Tuesday in November at Flemington Racecourse in Melbourne. This day is a public holiday but only for states Victoria and the ACT (Canberra). Here´s this years line up – In lane 1. Passionate Lady In lane 2. Bare Belly In lane 3. Silk Panties In lane 4. Conscience In lane 5. Jockey Shorts In lane 6. Clean Sheets In lane 7. Thighs In lane 8. Big Dick In lane 9. Heavy Bosom In lane 10. Merry Cherry AND THEY'RE OFF!!! Conscience is left behind at the gate. Jockey Shorts and Silk Panties are off in a hurry. Heavy Bosom is being pressured. Passionate Lady is caught between Thighs and Big Dick is in a dangerous spot. AT THE HALFWAY MARK: It's Bare Belly on top, Thighs open and Big Dick is pushing in. Heavy Bosom is being pushed hard against Clean Sheets. Passionate Lady and Thighs are working hard on Bare Belly. Bare Belly is under terrific pressure from Big Dick. AT THE STRETCH: Merry Cherry pops under the strain. Bare Belly is making a final push. Big Dick is in and Passionate Lady is coming. AT THE FINISH: It's Big Dick giving everything he's got and Passionate Lady takes everything Big Dick has to offer. It looks like a dead heat but Big Dick comes through with one final thrust and wins by a head... Bare Belly shows... Thighs weakens... Heavy Bosom pulls up.. and Clean Sheets never had a chance.

Hippos can weigh as much as 3.5 tons and live for as long as 50 years! The hippo is the third biggest land animal after elephants and white rhinos. Our semi-aquatic friend, the hippopotamus is this month’s Amazing Animal. Hippos love water, which is why the Greeks named them ¨The River Horse¨. Hippos spend up to sixteen hours a day submerged in rivers and lakes to keep their massive bodies cool under the hot African sun. The hippo's skin secretes a red, oily liquid that keeps the skin moist and protected from the hot sun when it is out of water. Hippos can hold their breath underwater for up to five minutes. Hippopotamuses do eighty percent of their vocalization under water. The bellowing of a bull hippo measures an ear-splitting 115 decibels.

With a mouth measuring a half metre across, the hippo can outrun a human. Nearly all of the famous African explorers and hunters - Livingstone, Stanley, Burton, Selous, Speke, DuChaillu - had boating mishaps with hippos. One young is born at a time, after a gestation of around 230 days. Young hippos will also bask on their mother's back. A group of hippos is called a "bloat." Hippos are hoofed vegetarians, feeding on grass, fallen fruit, and occasionally on cultivated crops such as sugar cane or corn during the night. The hippo's yawn is not a sign of sleepiness or boredom but is actually a threat gesture. Being fearlessly protective of their turf and young, hippos have killed more than 400 people in Africa - more than any other wild animal.

Each fact is more useless than the next...but even so, you will find them interesting, facinating or weird even. If you multiplied 111111111 by 111111111 the result is all the digits in ascending to descending order: 12345678987654321 An oyster can change its sex a number of times during its life. Sharks are immune to cancer. An estimated 80% of animals on earth have six legs. A shark can grow a new set of teeth in a week. The snail mates only once in its entire life. The distance between an alligators eyes in inches, is directly proportional to the length of the alligator. Pablo Picasso's full name was "Pablo Diego JosĂŠ Francisco de Paula Juan Nepomuceno MarĂ­a de los Remedios Cipriano de la SantĂ­sima Trinidad Martyr Patricio Clito Ruiz y Picasso." Google logos that appear on the homepage during holidays are called Google doodles. A TV screen shows 24 pictures each second. A fly sees 200 images a second. Therefore a fly will see TV as still pictures with darkness in between. Wine contains no cholesterol and no fat at all. Singapore is home to the world's first night zoo. To become airborne when full of blood a mosquitoes will drop some ballast to become lighter.

Rocinante Pet Foods have been operating in Alhaurin el Grande since 2008 and cover the Costa del Sol area of Spain. Chudleys pet food is a high quality complete dry food catering for all breeds and ages of dogs & cats from puppies & kittens to the more elderly pets, and is competitively priced compared to other high quality pet food products. We offer free delivery to your home between Malaga and Marbella and inland areas. We are of course happy to offer delivery outside of this area, but a transportation/delivery charge will apply. We are distributors of Autarky 100% natural dog food, Chudleys pet food, Salmopet Salmon Oil and Pet Munchies 100% natural treats and can also supply other pet accessories. As a pet owner you want to provide your dog with everything he needs to help him lead a long, happy and active life. Because that includes what he eats, Dodson & Horrell are dedicated to helping you achieve this aim through their comprehensive range of complete dry diets. Since Chudleys Original was first manufactured back in 1976, Dodson & Horrell have gone on to develop a range of feeds that meet the needs of both pet and working dogs. With a mixture of flavours and muesli and extruded nugget diets to choose from, you can rest assured that whatever the shape or size, age or breed of your dog, there is a product to suit his individual needs. And because Dodson & Horrell want your dog to get the most from his diet, they take many extra steps to ensure that every mouthful of Chudleys is as good as it can possibly be. Dodson & Horrell refuse to compromise on quality and therefore only use raw ingredients that meet their strict quality standards. Dodson & Horrell continue to invest in manufacturing technology in order to keep them at the cutting edge of animal nutrition and they manufacture on their own premises in the UK to fixed formulations so that nothing changes from one bag of Chudleys to the next.

CAPRICORN - The pressure valve has been opened and you have let a little steam out – now doesn’t that feel better? The spotlight has moved away from you and is giving you a little space and time to re-group and re-evaluate your position with regard to your vocation. You may be more emotional this month with regard to a relationship, more clarification on your feelings is evident towards the end of November, when the last piece of a puzzle is found. AQUARIUS - This is a month to watch the pennies, the tide is turning and you need to be prepared for a new wave of social events, so put some money aside so that you can join in the fun. Any matter that is going on behind the scenes you will be able to tune into – not much escapes you now. Career matters take over at the beginning of November but your attractive and electrifying disposition sees that you shine over any one else.

PISCES - By taking action now you could make a real difference in someone’s life and this is particularly true if you don’t hesitate. Nothing makes you happier than romance and mid month you will indulge yourself whole heartedly in it. Finances come to the fore toward the end of the month and you need to seriously start to sort some overspending out. Matters are moving forward in your life and pressures are generally easing, there are important people around you that are supportive.

ARIES - November has you lusting literally for life and love. If you are with a partner then you will be reminded of the heady passionate days when you first met, if single then ‘watch out the Ram is about’ might be more apt. Travel may well be on your mind and you will find ways to get away from daily routines even if it is a short journey, the change of scenery is the important issue here. The foundations of a business may need some attention so make sure you check that all is in place for the future. TAURUS - You are feeling much better this month and ready to conquer the world, this is a ripe month to get what you want but you will have to exert some energy and use some speed to capitalise on opportunities that are occurring. Time waits for no man as they say. Towards the end of November love and romance blossoms and you will enjoy snuggling up with a loved one. Many adjustments need to be made in your life so that you can find peace with a certain someone.

GEMINI - November is a hectic and busy month for you but tackling it all head on will free you up later on. Career matters come to the fore and delays that you have been experiencing are already lifting. This is a time when you will enjoy getting yourself back on track. Romance and relationships also take a turn for the better towards the end of November and you will get a lot of support from a loved one. Remember to sort those bills out around the middle of the month.

CANCER - An expressive and playful month looms with you making time for romance, fun and frolics. Up until the 23rd it may be difficult to concentrate on work matters as your romantic feelings are running high and your creativity is strong. A friend is likely to need a hand at the beginning of November and just because you don’t necessarily agree on the best way to tackle the situation it does not mean that one of you is wrong - there are many ways to skin a cat!

LEO - The pressures that have been weighing you down with regard to a partnership issue are starting to ease. If there was a sense of stagnation, this month brings a sense of moving forward. Your instincts are high and no one can get one over on you. Finances seem to be a thorn in your side and you long for a debt to be sorted out – well it isn’t going to happen if you keep ‘flitting’ it away! Start tackling the situation by putting a few pennies away each month.

VIRGO - Decisions are easier to make and communication is a lot clearer within a partnership. That is not to say it is all plain sailing but any issues that arise are well able to be sorted out in the moment – ‘nipped in the bud’ so neither of you are left to fester. Finances are looking up and career issues are being talked about. In the realm of work there is much to do and November will see you ‘knuckling down’ to get things moving. LIBRA - A few heated debates with loved ones are likely and need to be handled with sensitivity. Perhaps the answer lies in spending more quality time with one other. Propositions are likely to come your way through work so you will be able to make a bit of extra money. Domestic routines may need reviewing so make sure you look closely at what is working and what isn’t. If you have been bottling something up for far too long this is your opportunity for your voice to be heard. SCORPIO - What a powerful month this is for you, the centre of attention, and the spotlight is on you – just as well you are feeling confident, ambitious and proud. You are likely to come up against a few blockages as the month progresses but your strong will and determination will see that you get through any stumbling block swiftly. Mid month sees you with plenty of energy at your disposal so this is a good time to join a gym or take up something that is physical in nature.

SAGITTARIUS - Watch out for an ex that could reappear from nowhere, he has much to say so make sure that you listen attentively. You may feel that you wish to maintain your distance even though you are feeling confident and assertive. By the end of November you will be more certain as to what it is you want and who you wish to be a part of your life. A sense of adventure takes hold and networking brings many new faces into your playground broadening your horizons.

VOIP – What is it and how do I use it? VOIP stands for Voice Over Internet Protocol, which in English means making phone calls over the internet at little or no cost. Many people use VOIP nowadays as it can significantly reduce your telephone bill. One very well known VOIP service is Skype (pronounced without the ‘e’ at the end). Skype is a program that you can download for free from Once downloaded, you install the program on your computer and create an account (which is also free). Once you have an account, you can add contacts to your account – these would be other people that you know that have Skype accounts – so that you can start calling them for free. Simply ask them for their Skype name, most people do use Skype nowadays, or search for them from within the Skype program. You can use Skype to talk just like a normal telephone but you do it through the computer (it can be a tower or laptop). We would always recommend the use of a headset, which stops you from getting echo when you speak. If you wish, you can also use a Webcam, which is a small camera that can be attached to your computer, or sometimes it will be built-in on a laptop. Doing this means that the person you are calling can see you as well as hear you!

Furthermore, you can use Skype to call to normal landlines and mobile phones. This service is called SkypeOut and does have a cost (which can be found on their website). In order to use this, you must buy some credit via Skype’s website. Once you have some credit, you can start calling straight away and the calls are much cheaper than regular telephone calls. Many people also choose to use VOIP in a different way, which is to create an account with a company such as VOIPCheap ( and then use a VOIP router to make calls. This means that you can have your own account details configured directly into the router and you can then use any normal telephone handset connected to the VOIP router to make calls. You can even connect your normal landline to the VOIP router and decide for each call whether you wish to make the call by VOIP or by the normal telephone line. Many people find this more convenient and it means that you don’t even need your computer to be switched on! Of course, all of the above VOIP systems require that you have an existing internet connection with a reasonably good speed.

For more information and advice on VOIP and how it works, please feel free to contact ComputerNET on 952 49 49 13.

Honouring those who improve the species... by accidently removing themselves from it! A One Track Mind (16 July 2008, Italy) Gerhard, 68, was queued at a traffic light in his Porsche Cayenne sportscar. Before one reaches the light, there is a railroad crossing, and Gerhard had not let the queue progress forward far enough before he drove onto the tracks. As you might imagine, given Murphy's Law, a train was coming. The safety bars came down, leaving the Porsche trapped on the rails. According to witnesses, it took the driver awhile to realize he was stuck. Finally he jumped from the car and started to run--straight toward the oncoming train, waving his arms in an attempt to save his sportscar! The attempt was partly successful. The car received less damage than its owner, who landed 30 meters away. Attempts to revive him were unsuccessful. The moral of the story? Momentum always wins. Boner! (2 February 2008, New York)

A 50-year-old man was bird hunting in Upstate New York with his buddies and his faithful canine companion. They stopped for a smoke, and his dog found a deer leg bone! The man tried to take the bone away, but like any right thinking dog, the animal would not relinquish its treasure. He stayed just out of reach. Frustrated with this blatant show of disobedience, the man grabbed his loaded shotgun by the muzzle and began wielding it like a club. Each time he swung it, the dog dodged. Suddenly the "club" struck the ground and fired, shooting the man in the abdomen. He was airlifted to a nearby hospital, where he died from his injuries. He did remain conscious long enough to confirm this account to police; otherwise, his poor friends might now be under suspicion! At least he didn't hit the dog.

The grand opening of quality giftware shop Ideal Idea was a big hit last month keeping everyone entertained with live music and enough puzzles to bamboozle even the gifted minds.

Located on the ground floor of La Trocha Commercial Centre in Coin, this shop is filled with fabulous gifts for all the family, from beautifully made glass ornamentals to candle holders, wooden cribbage boards as well as a wide range of fun games for children and adults alike. Great bagatelle games made of wood and brass, dominoes, wooden and metal puzzles and games, charming shove ha´penny boards and hundreds of multi coloured marbles in all sizes (remember them!).

This is a shop for all ages who appreciate quality gifts and games and value for money. With Christmas only just around the corner, make sure you call in & pick up something different this year‌.and all the fun you will have too! Opening hours are Monday to Saturday 10am to 10pm and the four Sundays leading up to Christmas.

by Ann French of As the song goes “I am strong, I am invincible” … and yes you are woman! It has been a long time coming, compared to other fashion trends, but indeed big shoulders are back – and how?! Welcome to Autumn 2009 or should I say back to the 1980’s or even the 1940’s??? Like the fashion of all modern decades, the 1980’s fashion incorporated distinct trends from different eras. The masculineinfluenced fashion trend that was most indicative for the 1980’s was the wide use of shoulder pads for women. Popularized by Joan Collins and Linda Evans from the soap opera Dynasty, they remained popular throughout the 1980’s. Before you all start crying in your Sangria, let’s put this in context. Yes they are back but on a limited scale. The bigger trend is on structure but in more forgiving shapes – pleats, flutes, bells. Today’s use of shoulder pads is to create a long, lean line that starts off strong and tapers towards the feet. The easiest way to wear this trend is with a jacket, simply throw it over your skinny jeans, add a pair of statement ankle boots and you’re there! Wearing the trend in the evening is not too difficult either. New designs include shift or pencil dresses with peaked shoulders, ruffle or flutter sleeves. Even a one shoulder dress will accent the remaining covered shoulder, which will make the perfect Autumn statement! Visit our website: or see a range of jewellery, wonderboa© and handbag hangers at Papeleria Martin, Alhaurin el Grande. See you next month….. Ann

Premium Embroidered jacket by TopShop

Joan Collins demonstrates the bold shoulder...

1. In (British) Monopoly, what is the cost of Bond Street? 2. What is the capital of Malawi? 3. How many of his wives did Henry VIII have beheaded? 4. Which is the 2nd largest ocean in the world? 5. Starry starry night is the opening words of a song dedicated to which artist? 6. What are the 5 lines called on which music is written? 7. What is Megalophobia the fear of? 8. Name the 3 countries of the world whose names begin with H? 9. In which years was Prince Charles Born? 10. Bi is the chemical symbol for which element? 11. What is the capital of Liechtenstein? 12. Who shot Martin Luther King? 13. Who directed the film 'Guess Who's Coming To Dinner'? 14. Which country accounts for nearly one third of the total teak production of the world? 15. The world's oldest known city is? 16. Which city was once called the `Forbidden City´? 17. What was the earlier name of New York city?

Answers on page 86

Connect the 9 dots using four straight lines without lifting the pencil from the paper.

The 9 Dots Puzzle!

Hint: Get the big picture. Think outside of the box.

1. What letter has the ability to widen a road? 2. There is a common English word that is nine letters long. Each time you remove a letter from it, it still remains an English word - from nine letters right down to a single letter. What is the original word, and what are the words that it becomes after removing one letter at a time? 3. What word looks the same upside down and backwards? 4. Can you think of a word in the English language that has 3 sets of consecutive double letters in it? 5. What occurs once in a minute, twice in a moment, but never in a thousand years?

Answers on page 86

ACROSS 1 Loaded (6) 4 Domesticated (4) 7 Between (4) 8 Precious metal (6) 9 Majority (4) 10 Always (4) 12 Cipher (4) 14 Stray (3) 16 Manner (3) 17 Unusual (4) 20 Unwrap (4) 23 Decorative material (4) 24 Game bird (6) 25 Sea eagle (4) 26 Sharp (4) 27 Leaves’ sound (6)

DOWN 1 Pasta sauce (5) 2 Chilly (4) 3 Was brave enough (5) 4 Occasion (4) 5 Cherished (6) 6 Go in (5) 11 Change direction (4) 13 Monster (4) 15 Shopkeeper (6) 16 Apportion (5) 18 Rage (5) 19 Topic (5) 21 Saucy (4) 22 Desire (4)

Answers on page 86

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z Discover how to break a code: Every number in the codeword grid is 'code' for a letter of the alphabet. Thus the number '12' may correspond to the letter 'L', for instance. We have given you 3 letters, 1 = Y, 6 = Q & 26 = P Answers on page 86

Old habits never die! Barbara Walters, of 20/20, did a story on gender roles in Kabul, Afghanistan, several years before the Afghan conflict. She noted that women customarily walked five paces behind their husbands. She recently returned to Kabul and observed that women still walk behind their husbands. Despite the overthrow of the oppressive Taliban regime, the women now seem to, and are happy to, maintain the old custom. Ms. Walters approached one of the Afghani women and asked, 'Why do you now seem happy with an old custom that you once tried so desperately to change?' The woman looked Ms. Walters straight in the eyes, and without hesitation said, 'Land Mines.' Moral of the story is (no matter what language you speak or where you go)

.......BEHIND EVERY MAN, THERE'S A SMART WOMAN. Sent in by William McNamee Medical Alert The Centre for Disease Control has issued a medical alert about a highly contagious, potentially dangerous virus that is transmitted orally, by hand, and even electronically. This virus is called Weekly Overload Recreational Killer (WORK). If you receive WORK from your boss, any of your colleagues or anyone else via any means whatsoever - DO NOT TOUCH IT!!! This virus will wipe out your private life entirely. If you should come into contact with WORK you should immediately leave the premises. Take two good friends to the nearest liquor store and purchase one or both of the antidotes - Work Isolating

Neutralizer Extract (WINE) and Bothersome Employer Elimination Rebooter (BEER). Take the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system. You should immediately forward this medical alert to five friends. If you do not have five friends, you have already been infected and WORK is, sadly, controlling your life. Get help immediately. Sent in by David Jackson Group therapy A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young Mothers and their small children. You all have obsessions,' he observed. To the first mother, Mary, he said, 'You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy.' He turned to the second Mum, Ann: 'Your obsession is with money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny.' He turned to the third Mum, Kathy: 'Your obsession is alcohol. This too shows itself in your child's name, Brandy.' At this point, the fourth mother, Joyce, quietly

got up, took her little boy by the hand and whispered, 'Come on Dick, this guy has no idea what he's talking about. Let's pick Willy up from school and go home. Sent in by Ted Teahon Gone shopping... Two blokes are pushing their shopping trolleys around a supermarket when they collide. The first bloke says to the second bloke, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going". The second bloke says, "That's OK. It's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate". The first bloke says, "Well, maybe we can help each other. What does your wife look like"? The second bloke says, "Well, she is 23 yrs old, 5 feet 11 inches tall, with blonde hair, blue eyes, big jugs, long legs and is wearing tiny skirt and a crop top. What does your wife look like'? The first bloke says, "Doesn't matter, lets look for yours."

ACCOMMODATION 50,000 Cheap Hotels Online.

BED & BREAKFAST Casa 65 B&B, Heart of Andalucia. Weekend Breaks (Fri/Sat/Sun Nights) 120€ Includes Sunday Lunch Midweek Break (Mon/Tue/Wed/Thur) 120€ Prices or Per Room For 2. Tel: 953 570 089

BUILDER General Building Reforms:

Security, Equestrian, Commercial & Domestic Fencing, Perimeter & Swimming Pool Alarms, Groundworks, Painting, Blockwork, Carports, Guttering & Drainage Services

Tel: 617 172 583 / 617 148 311



Rent a car 3000, delivery to & from airport / accommodation free of charge, Tel: 952 490 692, 639 682 081 Website: Email:

ELECTRICIANS 16th Edition BS7671 qualified, Apprentice trained, 21 years experience. Rewires, extra sockets, lights, fault finding etc. Pay as you go electric meters supplied and fitted, ideal for holiday lets, aircon etc. Ian: 650 151 569

FASHION UNIQUE BOUTIQUE English Owner High Fashion - Low Prices Ladies' Fashion sizes 36 - 56 Baby and children's wear: birth - 16 yrs c/ San Telmo, 20 Arroyo de la Miel *Visa Accepted* Tel: 952 440 042


Quality Cards still on Sale Best Selection Best Prices Alhaurin de la Torre & Inland areas For More Information: 618 200 155 Also Postal Service



Clinica Salca, Home & surgey visits. Travel & residence Insurance accepted. Edif. Agata, Avda. Gamonal, 2, Arroyo de la Miel, Benalmadena Telf: 95 256 25 95 / 95 256 04 33

Euro drain services, cctv surveys, drain jetting, septic tanks, soakaway installations fast and efective. 24hr blocked drain clearance. Call Darren 629 640 754 all areas.



EMERGENCY CALL 24hr 619 059 500

Riosat SL, No landline required. Internet and telephone services. Some areas free installation. Covering Andalucia. Call 951 239 310 / 626 679 018

KIDDIE HIRE Buggies, car seats, travel cots, highchairs and more from as little as €1 per day. Based in Alhaurin el Grande. Can deliver. Tel: 600 609 129.

PLASTERER Elite Plastering Services * Plastering, rendering, re-skims, dry lining, screeding * First class tiling service and general reforms * All works carried out by time served tradesman * * No obligation quotes * Gary 651 138 256

SIGNMAKERS All kinds of signs Marbella to Motril. Stainless Steel, Illuminated, Canopies, Car Livery, Pavement Signs, For Sale Boards, Window Graphics, Etched Glass Effect. Call 628 594 387 Email: Free Design. Prompt & Reliable Service.

VAN HIRE Man with Van & Trailer. € 20 p/h No job too small, Local & International. Call Dave 665 034 005 or 695 888 870

VETERINARY SURGEONS BRITISH VETERINARY SURGEON Home visits at no extra cost. First and second opinion work, vaccines, Id chip, blood analysis etc. Consultations in the comfort of your own home. Tel: 652 302 985 Mr Wayne Hockenhull BVMS MRCVS

BOX IT IN FOR ONLY 95€ (12 ISSUES) All our advertisers are placed on our Online Business Directory

EMERGENCY NUMBERS Emergency Ambulance Fire Brigade Local Police National Police Guardia Civil Helpline in English

112 061 080 092 091 062 902 102 112

HOSPITALS Carlos Haya Hospital Civil Hospital Maternity Hospital Costa del Sol Hospital Hospital Clinico Univ

951 030 100 951 030 300 951 030 200 952 102 112 952 649 400

MALAGA AIRPORT Information 952 048 771/952 048 484 Arrivals T2 952 048 844 Arrivals T1 952 048 845 Departures 952 048 804

TAXI Alhaurin de la Torre Alhaurin el Grande Benalmadena Coin Fuengirola Malaga Torremolinos

952 410 444 952 491 010 952 441 545 952 453 587 952 471 000 952 327 950 952 380 600

MARKETS DAYS Tuesday - Antequera, Fuengirola. Wednesday - Alhaurin de la Torre, Arroyo de la Miel, Saydo Hotel Mollina, La Cala de Mijas. Thursday - Alora Country Farmers Market (Los Caballos), Alhaurin el Grande - Feria, Pizarra, Torremolinos - Feria Ground. Friday - Arroyo de la Miel, Cartama Country Farmers Market, Mijas Costa. Saturday - Benalmadena - Los Porches, Coin, Fuengirola, La Cala de Mijas. Sunday - Benagalbon, Coin La Trocha, Estacion de Cartama, Fuengirola, Malaga next to the Stadium, Pizarra Car Boot, Torremolinos by Crocodile Park.

Get Quizzical: 1. 320 pounds. 2. Lilongwe 3. Two 4. Atlantic Ocean 5. Vincent Van Gogh 6. Stave, Staff 7. Large objects 8. Haiti, Honduras and Hungary

9. 1948 10. Bismuth 11. Vaduz 12. James Earl Ray 13. Stanley Kramer 14. Myanmar 15. Damascus 16. Peking 17. New Amsterdam

The 9 Dots Puzzle:

Riddle: 1. Adding a B will make it broad 2. The word is STARTLING. Startling... starting... staring... string... sting... sing... sin... in... I. 3. SWIMS 4. Bookkeeper 5. The letter M Codeword: 1=Y, 2=I, 3=H, 4=W, 5=Q, 6=S, 7=C, 8=N, 9=E, 10=T, 11=L, 12=M, 13=F, 14=V, 15=X, 16=A, 17=D, 18=Z, 19=B, 20=R, 21=U, 22=J, 23=O, 24=G, 25=P, 26=K

The Sentinella Malaga: November '09  

The Sentinella Malaga is a free publication in Spain, Malaga province, serving the English speaking expat community. Its light-hearted appro...

The Sentinella Malaga: November '09  

The Sentinella Malaga is a free publication in Spain, Malaga province, serving the English speaking expat community. Its light-hearted appro...