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The Málaga Sentinella Edition No 78

www.thesentinellamalaga.com

January 14

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The 1st of January… New years day… You jump up out of bed, fists raised in the air shouting to the world that this is the first day of the rest of your life and you're going to make it count! You've got your NEW mountain bike or top dollar jogging trainers, your chomping at the bit, ready to go..! OR? Is that what we like to think we do and the reality is that we roll out of bed around 3pm spend another three hours getting our senses together in time to phone a delivery pizza? Well whatever you did, I hope you all entered the New Year as you mean to go on… The 3 kings yet to arrive, the 3 wise men, the 3 amigos.. what is the fascination about 3? 3 prime colours, we live on the 3rd planet from the sun, 3 kingdoms - Animal, mineral and vegetable. There are 3 parts to time as we know it - past, present and future, I could go on.. However, I must be going to have a fantastic year BECAUSE bad things happen in.. guess what..? (Answer = 3's!!) and I have had my bad 3 this year so I am convincing myself that all will be fantastic!

Email: sentinella.malaga@gmail.com www.thesentinellamalaga.com The Sentinella Malaga

Deposito Legal MA-226-2007 No part of this publication, including pictures may be copied, used or reproduced without our prior written consent. The Sentinella accepts no responsibility for alterations to events listed, claims made by our advertisers or information provided by our contributors.

I'm sure you will all have a yearly spring clean having received many new gifts over the Christmas period, out with the old and in with the new.. so don't forget The Sentinella Trader section at the back of the magazine it is here to help get a few pennies for your new or used items, one mans rubbish is another mans … rubbish (according to the wife)!!! We would like to wish all our readers and advertisers a very happy and prosperous 2014 and we do hope all your New Year's resolutions last until at least March, that's the 3rd month of the year by the way!

The Ed

www.thesentinellamalaga.com

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Strange News Office pranksters surprise returning boss with balloon ambush - The boss of a games design company returning from holiday finds cheeky employees have crammed his office with thousands of balloons. Everybody in a management position likes to go on holiday confident in the knowledge that their employees will work just as hard in their absence. At Stainless Games, a video games designer on the Isle of Wight, his faith in his staff was somewhat shaken when he returned to work to find his diligent workforce had toiled away blowing up around 5,000 multicoloured balloons inside his office. Video footage captured by an employee showed the chaotic scenes inside the office, with employees getting lost in a sea of balloons, many of which poured on to the street below, to the bemusement of passers-by. It is probably safe to say that employees of the company shouldn't let their hopes for a Christmas bonus get too inflated. Laws of Life........................................Page 7 Countries of the World....................Page 12 Film Review......................................Page 16 Funny Pics........................................Page 20 Useless Facts...................................Page 24 Amazing Animals.............................Page 36 Amazing Insects..............................Page 40 Recipe of the Month........................Page 48 Horoscopes......................................Page 54 Information.......................................Page 56 Jokes................................................Page 58 Puzzle Pages....................................Page 60

Passenger locked on plane after falling asleep - An American air passenger has revealed how he found himself locked in a passenger plane after dozing off on a flight to Houston. Tom fell asleep during a flight to Houston, and was not noticed by staff or fellow passengers when the plane touched down. He was left on board the Express Jet service from Lafayette, Louisiana, to Bush Intercontinental Airport in Houston on Saturday. He fell asleep during the journey, and was not noticed by staff or fellow passengers when the plane touched down in Texas. "I woke up and the lights were out. I was like, what's going on?" Tom told ABC station KTRK-TV. "I thought maybe it was a layover, still on the same plane." He then realised that everyone else had disembarked and sought help from his partner. "I called my girlfriend, and she thought I was crazy,” he said. “I said, 'I'm locked on the plane.” I said, “I'm telling you the truth; you better go somewhere and get me off this plane.” Tom’s girlfriend alerted the airline, and he was released by staff around half an hour later. He missed his connecting flight to California. ExpressJet issued a statement confirming that the incident had taken place and said. “ExpressJet is investigating to determine how this occurred. We sincerely apologize for the inconvenience this caused for the passenger." The airline put Mr Wagner up in a hotel room for the night, gave him a free washbag containing toothpaste, toothbrush, and a $250 voucher so he could reach his final destination.


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Rare Historical Photos Einstein looking absolutely Fabulous darling! When Einstein died in 1955, his body was cremated and his ashes scattered, as was his wish. However, before his body was cremated, pathologist Thomas Harvey at Princeton Hospital conducted an autopsy in which he removed Einstein's brain. Rather than putting the brain back in the body, Harvey decided to keep it, ostensibly for study. Harvey did not have permission to keep Einstein's brain, but days later, he convinced Einstein's son that it would help science. Shortly thereafter, Harvey was fired from his position at Princeton because he refused to give up his brain.

The Disney Employees cafeteria!

Walt Disney came up with the concept of Disneyland after visiting various amusement parks with his daughters in the 1930s and 1940s. He initially envisioned building entertain fans who wished to visit; however, he soon realised that the proposed site was too small. After hiring a consultant to help him determine an appropriate site for his project, Walt bought a 160-acre site. Work began in 1954 and the park was unveiled during a special televised press event on the ABC Television Network on July 17, 1955.


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Laws Of Life How true are these..! Anthony’s Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner. Bell’s Theorem: As soon as the body is immersed fully in the bathtub, the telephone will ring. Brenda’s Rule: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, arrive last. Cannon’s Karmic Law: If you use the excuse that you were late for work because you had a flat tyre, the next morning you will actually have a flat tyre. Kovac’s Conundrum: When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged tone. Lorenz’s Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

O’Brien’s Variation Law: If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now. Owen’s Law: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold. Ruby’s Principle of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are in a situation where you do not want to be seen by anybody. Willoughby’s Law: When you try to prove to the repair man that a machine doesn’t work, it will. Wooly’s law: When you are working late, the boss will never be around. When you are surfing the net the boss will always drop by.


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Are You Superstitious? If you weren’t you will be now!  It's Friday the 13th with so much to dread. Some people ignore it and just stay in bed. Silly Superstitions It's bad luck to walk under a ladder. This came from the early Christian belief that a leaning ladder formed a triangle with the wall and ground. You must never violate the Holy Trinity by walking through a triangle, lest you be considered in league with the devil. (And you all know what good Christians did to people they suspected of being in league with the devil.) Beware of Friday the Thirteenth. Those who know about these things, inform us that Adam and Eve were expelled from the Garden of Eden on a Friday, Noah's flood started on a Friday, and Christ was crucified on a Friday. Christians also noted that twelve witches plus one devil are present at Satanic

ceremonies so Friday and 13 make a deadly combination. God Bless You. During the sixth century, it was customary to congratulate people who sneezed because they were expelling evil from their bodies. Later, when a great plague took hold of Europe, and people began sneezing violently, the Pope passed a law. Since sneezing meant that the person was going to die of plague, people were required to bless the sneezer. Don't spill the salt. Although some people believe that Judas spilt salt during the last supper, this claim can't be proven. Salt was a very precious expensive commodity in the middle ages. It was also used for medicinal purposes. If you spilled any, you must immediately throw it over your left shoulder to strike the nasty spirits in the eye, thus preventing sickness. Ladybird, ladybird, fly away home. It is bad luck to kill a ladybug because it represents the Virgin Mary.


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New Japanese Island Advisories from the coast guard and the Japan Meteorological Agency said the islet is about 200 metres (660 feet) in diameter. It is just off the coast of Nishinoshima, a small, uninhabited island in the Ogasawara chain, which is also known as the Bonin Islands. Japan's chief government spokesman welcomed the news of yet another bit, however tiny, of new territory. "This has happened before and in some cases the islands disappeared," Yoshihide Suga said when asked if the government was planning on naming the new island. "If it becomes a full-fledged island, we would be happy to have more territory." The

Japanese archipelago has thousands of islands. In some cases, they help anchor claims to wide expanses of ocean overlying potentially lucrative energy and mineral resources. An earthquake of 6.4 magnitude was detected in the Mediterranean Sea west of the island of Crete in October. As it was reportedly 22 miles 40kms below the sea bed there were no reports of casualties, damage OR any newborn territories! Just imagine swimming peacefully along, minding your own business, when a steaming hot lilo pops up from underneath!!


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De Cotta Law Off plan purchase – properties under construction by De Cotta Law

find they are tied up in litigation to claim the monies owing to them.

A Supreme Court decision this month has confirmed previous case law in Spain about developer obligations to off plan purchasers. Unless a contract to purchase a property specifically states otherwise the purchaser has the right to rescind the contract if the developer asks for completion and does not have the License of First Occupation.

Insolvency proceedings where the developer has “gone bust” are rather intimidating for purchasers but some have been fortunate to be offered the return of their deposit monies directly by banks who have taken over the developments. This can be done by attending the notary if an offer is made to settle. However in many cases it is necessary to be formally represented before the court to get any payment that is finally made to creditors. Even if that final payment only represents a percentage of the monies invested it is still better than losing all of the funds placed with the developer.

The courts have emphasised the purchaser cannot contract basic utilities in his or her own name without this document issue by the Town Hall. It is therefore held to be an essential element in protecting the purchaser’s right to enter into occupation with the utilities required to live in the property. There have been a large number of such claims but a problem faced by some off plan purchasers is that the developer in some of these cases has now gone into liquidation during the economic crisis. They may therefore win a pyrrhic victory as they may be entitled to rescind or cancel the contract but

For more information about property law and litigation, please feel free to contact De Cotta Law on: De Cotta Law Mijas-Costa / Calahonda Centro Comercial Valdepinos 1 y 3ª Urb. Calypso Tel.: +34 952 931 781


H a p p y N e w Ye a r t o a l l o u r l o y a l c u s t o m e r s ! !


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es l d i r t n Wor u o C he oa T m f a O S an

s . t. nth lane o p m 92 the t n 1 on ok a i rld try lo wo un e a he ry co e tak t d un eve th w Arook at mon lo is We Th

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American Samoa Population – 55,000 Language – Samoan Located – South Pacific Capital City – Pago Pago Currency – US Dollar Religion – Christian Main Exports – Bananas Literacy Rate – 99% Life Expectancy – 78 Years GDP Per Capita – 5,800 US$ Total Area – 199km2

REVOLUTIONARY FRAMELESS AND SEMI-FRAMELESS SYSTEMS Glass Balustrading Specialists Balconies ~ Terraces ~ Pool Surrounds

Famous for – Being discovered by Jacob Roggeveen, a Dutch explorer, in 1827 Infamous for – It has the distinction of suffering the worst loss in international soccer history: they got truly beaten by Australia 31 – 0 in a FIFA World Cup qualifying match on April 11, 2001! Main Reasons to go there – Magnificent mountain ridges, wonderfully peaceful bays, soporific villages and some of the world’s most remote, uncluttered and utterly beautiful reefs and beaches. Main Reasons not to go there – It has a surprisingly limited tourist infrastructure. Biggest Celebrity – For a long time, Robert Louis Stevenson lived on Upolu. National Sport – Rugby Amazing but True – During World War Two, the number of American troops actually outnumbered the local population

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Aaaarrgh! Doesn't It Annoy You When...

is awful!!" and then tells you to try some.

1) There's a car alarm nearby that goes on for hours and the owner is nowhere to be found?

8) You have to inform five different sales people in the same shop that you're just looking around.

2) You buy an answering machine so you won't miss any calls, and then everyone hangs up when they hear the machine answer? 3) There's a cop car in sight and everyone thinks they have to drive 10-15 mph slower than the speed limit? 4) You're reading a magazine and all those annoying little subscription cards keep falling out? 5) You tell someone that a door is locked and they try to open it anyway, like it'll magically open for them and not you. 6) Someone says, "well, to make a long story short" and then they go on telling it for another 15 minutes. 7) A friend or family member says "Yuck! This

9) You rub on hand cream and can't turn the bathroom doorknob to get out. 10) A waiter or waitress is not around at any time other than right after you put food in your mouth. 11) Your tyre gauge lets half the air in your tyre when all you want is a pressure reading. 12) There's a dog in your neighbourhood that barks at EVERYTHING. 13) The power goes out, and you discover every torch you have has dead batteries. 14) Someone gets in the express lane at the supermarket and writes a cheque or uses a credit card.

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Modern Times You know you are living in 2014 when...

to help you carry in the groceries.

1. You accidentally enter your PIN on the microwave.

7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen

2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.

8. Leaving the house without your mobile phone, which you didn't even have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three. 4. You e-mail or whatsapp the person who works at the desk next to you.

9. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.

10. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )

6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your mobile phone to see if anyone is home

11. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.


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Film iew Rev rozen F

It’s hard to find any flaws in Disney “Frozen”. The visuals are great, it’s an engaging story, the characters are interesting and fun, and the music is stupendous. “Frozen” is a story of two sisters, Anna (Kristen Bell) and Elsa (Idina Menzel). Elsa was born with the power to create snow and ice from her fingertips. This wasn’t a problem until her powers accidentally injured Anna. Elsa’s powers grew as she grew and they became more powerful and uncontrollable. With her parents’ help, she was able to control it and keep it a secret, even from Anna. But the parents die, leaving Anna and Elsa alone. This sets up Elsa to become Queen of Arendelle (a fictional town in Norway). But things go wrong with her powers at the coronation when she gets

upset at Anna for impulsively getting engaged to a prince from another town. In her rage, Elsa accidentally puts a winter storm directly over Arendelle as she runs away to the mountains, distressed at her sister and at her inability to control her powers. This sets up the main story of Anna’s trek in the snow to find Elsa and have her come back to their hometown and remove the storm. It’s along this journey that a few more characters join the movie: an ice salesman named Kristoff (Jonathan Groff), his dog-like pet reindeer Sven and Olaf the snowman (Josh Gad). Olaf is a snowman Anna and Elsa built as a child that has somehow come to life through Elsa’s powers. Olaf steals the show. His song about wanting to enjoy the summer is really cute and funny, as is the other characters’ reactions to it. This leads me to a big part of the movie, the music. Like a typical Disney animated movie Frozen’s characters burst into song mid-conversation. If you don’t like that sort of thing, skip this movie. It’s not my favourite way to tell a story but it’s really well done in “Frozen”. In fact, the music is a huge part of what makes this movie great. Star Rating ****/*****


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Eat Healthy This New Year

5 Of the most powerful brain fuelling foods‌. Whole Grains Like everything else in your body, the brain cannot work without energy. The ability to concentrate and focus comes from the adequate, steady supply of energy - in the form of glucose in our blood to the brain. Achieve this by choosing wholegrains with a low-GI, which release glucose slowly into the bloodstream, keeping you mentally alert throughout the day. Opt for 'brown' cereals, wheat bran, granary bread and brown pasta.

Oily Fish Essential fatty acids cannot be made by the body and must be obtained through diet. The most effective omega-3 fats occur naturally in oily fish. Oily fish contains EPA and DHA in a ready-made form, which enables the body to use it easily. The main sources of oily fish include salmon, trout, mackerel, herring, sardines,pilchards and kippers. Low DHA levels have been linked to a higher risk of developing Alzheimer's disease and memory loss. Eat Blueberries Evidence accumulated at Tufts University in the United States suggests that the consumption of blueberries may be effective in improving or delaying short term memory loss. Widely available, so there's no excuse.

Tomatoes There is good evidence to suggest that lycopene, a powerful antioxidant found in tomatoes, could help protect against the kind of free radical damage to cells which occurs in the development of dementia, particularly Alzheimer's.

Pumkin Seeds Just a handful of pumpkin seeds a day is all you need to get your recommended daily amount of zinc, vital for enhancing memory and thinking skills.


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Maximum Wittiness Quirky sentences, to make you laugh till your sides ache!

7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

3. She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still. 4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption. 5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work. 6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. 11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it. 12. Atheism is a non-prophet organisation. 13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a head.' 14. A backward poet writes inverse.


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You Don’t Like Your Job? I'm “the puller”, but if you’re interested, the position of "hole guy" is open

Ain’t it a beauty. It will feed the whole village for a while.

First, we wrap the "hole guy's" arm in a skin for protection

Then we find a big hole and the "hole guy" crawls in. It will feed the whole village for a while.

Snake Noodling - - - - What real men do!

We use modern lighting, there it is. I let it take my protected arm, sort of like noodling for fish. Then my buddy pulls me out with the snake attached.

Maybe standing in line at the grocery store isn't as bad as it seems.


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Fun

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cs i P ny

! hy! rap g g in oto ph e tim c i l t b s a ta c Fan mpec I


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You Haven’t Have You?! Worst gifts to buy a woman 1) Never give a woman any kind of household appliance or something that is going to make "housework" easier. For instance, a blender, a toaster, a new vacuum, one of those mops they advertise on TV that does everything but suck the life out of you, etc…. The only wise choice is a new washing machine with a turbo spin cycle. (Makes laundry day go by pretty fast when you can at least sit on it during spin-dry and end up smiling the rest of the day.) 2. Any bulk cleaning supplies, "honey, I got you that large box of Daz you have been wanting." "This Windex should last you a while." "I got a good deal on the industrial strength toilet bowl cleaner." If you buy these, all I can say is, be prepared to run. 3. Any sharp objects made by Ronco which slices or dices, or a set of knives. These may one day be used as a weapon against you when you come home with lipstick on your collar after a "night out with the boys." 4. Do not buy gifts for yourself and pretend they are for her. "Honey, I'm sure you'll get a lot of use out of the new drill I bought you." By

then she will have put it to good use by drilling a quarter inch hole into the side of your skull for even thinking she would accept such a lame gift. After a gift like this, you probably won't be around for NEXT Valentines Day/ Birthday / Whatever Day… 5. Any lingerie made of flannel, such as a pair of feet pyjamas with a trap door in back. A Little Mermaid or Barney cartoon character nightgown. It gives her the idea that you do not consider her the sexy woman that she is. Take out that wallet and buy her something sexy from Victoria Secret (just like you did for your mistress or other girlfriend). 6. No name perfume which costs you €1.99, such as Eu de Toilet, which actually smells like the bathroom, mouldy fruit, or your dirty socks. If you are going to buy her perfume, spring for the brand names. 7. Last but not least, never buy a woman anti-wrinkle cream, or a book on "How not to be Nasty Sunday through Saturday." These are not considered gifts, they are considered reasons for seriously injuring the person who bought it and just may stand up in court of law.

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Email Tracker Programmes The man that sent this information is a computer tech. He spends a lot of time clearing the junk off computers for people and listens to complaints about speed. 1) Any time you see an email that says "forward this on to '10' (or however many) of your friends", "sign this petition", or "you'll get bad luck" or "you'll get good luck" or "you'll see something funny on your screen after you send it" or whatever - it almost always has an email tracker program attached that tracks the cookies and emails of those folks you forward to. The host sender is getting a copy each time it gets forwarded and then is able to get lists of 'active' email addresses to use in SPAM emails or sell to other spammers. Even when you get emails that demand you send the email on if you're not ashamed of God/Jesus - that is email tracking, and they are playing on our conscience. These people don't care how they get your email addresses - just as long as they get them. Also, emails that talk about a missing child or a child with an incurable disease "how would you feel if that was your child" - email tracking. Ignore them and don't participate! 2) Almost all emails that ask you to add your

name and forward on to others are similar to that mass letter years ago that asked people to send business cards to the little kid in Florida who wanted to break the Guinness Book of Records for the most cards. All it was, and all any of this type of email is, is a way to get names and 'cookie' tracking information for telemarketers and spammers - to validate active email accounts for their own profitable purposes. You can do your Friends and Family members a GREAT favour by giving this information to them. You will be providing a service to your friends. And you will be rewarded by not getting thousands of spam emails in the future! Do yourself a favour and STOP adding your name(s) to those types of listing regardless how inviting they might sound! Or make you feel guilty if you don't! It's all about getting email addresses and nothing more. You may think you are supporting a GREAT cause, but you are NOT! Instead, you will be getting tons of junk mail later and very possibly a virus attached! Plus, we are helping the spammers get rich! Let's not make it easy for them!


where it all comes together Tel: 952 661 985

www.suavecafe.com

paseo maritimo rey de espana 93 Los Boliches Fuengirola How to tell if it is going to be a rotten day. 1. You wake up face down on the pavement. 2. You put your bra on backward and it fits better. 3. You call Suicide Prevention and they put you on hold. 4. You see a "60 Minutes" news team waiting in your office. 5. Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles.

mains stuck as you follow a group of Hell's Angels on the motorway.

6. You want to put on the clothes you wore home from the party last night, and there aren't any.

10. Your wife wakes up feeling amorous and YOU have a headache.

7. You turn on the news and they're showing emergency routes out of the city.

11. Your boss tells you not to bother to take off your coat.

8. You wake up and discover your water bed broke and then realise that you don't have a water bed.

12. The bird singing outside your window is a buzzard.

9. Your car horn goes off accidentally and re

13. Your twin sister forgot your birthday.


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le e s U

ts c a ss F less use ! e r ing ya The t amaz bu

Antarctica is the only continent that does not have land areas below sea level. A plot of land in Amazonia the size of a suburban lawn supports 300 species of trees.

sea to move in a slow, clockwise drift. It contains a great deal of kelp, and is a huge meeting place for eels. One tree can filter up to 60 pounds of pollutants from the air each year. If every U.S. household replaced 4 incandescent light bulbs with compact fluorescent bulbs, the same energy would be saved as removing 7 million cars from the road. An aluminum can takes about 90 days to return to the shelf after being recycled.

The amount of gold dissolved in the oceans is nearly ten million tons, which is about 180 times the total amount of gold dug in mines in the entire history of humanity.

On average, 10 inches of snow melts down to about one inch of liquid rain.

The Sargasso Sea has no coastline. It is in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean, and is encircled by the Gulf Stream and the North Equatorial Current, causing the oval-shaped

Raindrops are not tear-shaped. Scientists, using high-speed cameras, have discovered that raindrops resemble the shape of a small hamburger bun.


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Confused.com! RIGHT CARGO WRONG AIRPORT and one confused Pilot! The 747, flown by a two-person crew with no passengers, intended to touch down late Wednesday at McConnell Air Force Base in Wichita, where it was supposed to deliver parts for Boeing's new 787 Dreamliner to a nearby company that makes large sections of the next-generation jet. Instead, the cargo plane landed to the north, at the smaller Col. James Jabara Airport. The jet took off again Thursday and within minutes landed at its original destination. The crew had flown into an area where there are three airports with similar runway configurations: the Air Force base, the Jabara airfield and a third facility in between called Beech Airport. After the pilot concluded he had landed at the wrong airport, the crew and controllers tried to figure out where the plane was. At one point, a controller read to the pilot the coordinates where he saw the plane on radar. When the pilot read the coordinates back, he mixed up east and west. "Sorry about that, couldn't read my handwriting," the pilot said on a recording

provided by LiveATC.net. A few moments later, the pilot asked how many airports there are to the south of McConnell. But the other airports are both north of McConnell. "I'm sorry, I meant north," the pilot said when corrected. "I'm sorry. I'm looking at something else." They finally agreed on where the plane was after the pilot reported that a smaller plane, visible on the radar of air traffic control, had just flown overhead. The modified 747 is one of a fleet of four that hauls parts around the world to make the Dreamliner. Known as the "Dreamlifter," it features an expanded body to carry whole fuselage sections and other large parts. If a regular 747 with its bulbous doubledecker nose looks like a snake, the overstuffed Dreamlifter looks like a snake that swallowed a rat.


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Archez By Sally Harrison

Archez is a small village which sits at the foot of the Tejeda and Almijar on the Sayalonga river, and we first discovered it during our route of Mudejar. Its perfectly-preserved 14th century red brick minaret of a former mosque can be seen from every point in the town, and was declared a historic monument of national character. It adjoins the parish church of Nuestra Señora de la Encarnacíon. The village fair, in honour of this church, takes place each year at the end of July or early August and lasts for three days. If you are hungry, a good place to dine is the Posada Mesón Mudéjar, where generous helpings of scrummy well-priced food will make you think about booking into one of its five carefully decorated guest rooms, so you can enjoy the wines without having to drive home. The village is at an altitude of 530 metres, and lies 25 kilometres from the coast and 52 kilometres from Málaga. It is one of the smallest villages in the Axarquía with a population of about 425. Historically, grapes were its main crop and they are still an important part of its economy and landscape, as are figs and almonds. As with many

Axarquía villages, home-made sweet wine is enjoyed by the locals who will press you to sample some, even taking you into their homes where you will be pressed to purchase honey, raisins, figs, almonds and of course the wine itself. If you are looking for love, the village legend says that if you touch the lizard stuck to the bell in the church tower, you will find love within the year! Apparently the poor lizard fell into the forge while the bell was being made, and has been a kind of Cupid ever since. There are many different ways of driving to the village, depending on your starting point. If you are coming from the coast, then drive inland from Algarrobo, up past Sayalonga, turning left to Árchez on quite a sharp bend. The road then winds down to the river and there is a lovely restaurant on the bridge, overlooking a valley of orange trees. To enter the village, turn right before the bridge and straight over the new traffic lights. There is usually somewhere to park outside the town hall, and then you can walk along the narrow, winding streets and discover its hidden treasures. From Vélez-Málaga, take the Arenas road; drive past Corumbela and Árchez will unfold in front of you, or you can turn up towards Canillas de Aceituno and drive past Sedella and Salares, or drop down from Canillas de Albaida.

Property Of The Month

AS2874

Elviria

1,600,000€

Impressive detached 4 bed, 4 bath villa with 1 bedroom staff accommodation, games room, sauna, pool, 2 garages and sea views. The property was fully renovated in 2008 and comprises garden entrance with steps to lawned garden with palm trees and sea views. Entrance hall, living room with fireplace and electric remote control wood effect fire, bullet proof wall of glass overlooking garden, dining area. Fully equipped, Tim Hartwood kitchen with top of the range appliances and large flat screen television, glass door to back of house. Bedroom 1 with large walk through dressing room and ensuite bathroom with jacuzzi bath and separate power shower cubicle, underfloor heating, bedroom 2 with dressing room and ensuite bathroom with jacuzzi bath tub and under floor heating. bedroom 3 with ensuite jacuzzi bath with power shower. Cloakroom and cupboard, study/bedroom 5, shower room, family room/bedroom 4 with bar at one end and floor to ceiling windows overlooking the pool and garden. Lawned garden, pond, staff accommodation comprising lounge, kitchen, shower room and bedroom. At the end of the pool terrace are steps leading down to a large storage room with steps down again to a 2 car garage. To the front of the property is a large 3 car garage and in the garden there are steps down to a games room with mirrored wall, sauna and wet room. Extra´s include Top of the range security system, Satellite CTV for security and television. double glazed windows, central air conditioning hot and cold, electric persiana blinds, under floor heating in bathrooms.


PROPERTY SPECIALISTS SINCE 2001 IF YOU HAVE PROPERTY TO SELL CALL SALLY ON 626 038 851 or 952 436 781 Email: sallyharrison@axarquiaproperties.com www.axarquiaproperties.com

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AS2116 895,000€ Alhaurin El Grande 256m2 2 bed villa with pool & 2 one bed guest apartments + a self contained 2 bed 95m2 villa with pool providing a rental income. Set in a beautiful 8500m2 flat plot with fruit trees.

Sally Harrison Owner / Agent

AS1973 2,800,000€ Benalmadena

AS2319 850,000€ Churriana

5 bed, 4 bath 600m2 designer villa with pool on 4,150m2 plot with exceptional views in sought after location

Lovely finca of 13,000m2 with a 3 bed, 2 bath detached family house with garage and swimming pool

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Large, impressive family home with fabulous garden and 10 x 4.5 metre swimming pool, sea views from the terrace and walking distance to the train station at Torreblanca.

4 bedroom 3 bathroom family home with self contained guest casita situated in a quiet residential area walking distance to the town.

Wishing You All A Prosperous 2014


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Txt Msgs Text message abbreviations for the sms senders amongst us…! 2DAY - today 2MORO - tomorrow 2NITE - to night AAM - as a matter of fact AB - ah bless! ADctd2Luv - addicted to love AFAIC - as far as I know AKA - also known as ALIWanIsU - all I want is you ALOrO - all or nothing ATB - all the best B4 - before BaBitsU - baby it's you BBFN - bye bye for now BBSD - be back soon darling BCNU - be seeing you BdBy - bad boy BF - boy friend BFN - bye for now

BGWM - be gentle with me (please) BRB - be right back BTW - by the way BYKT - but you knew that Cld9? - cloud 9? CMIIW - correct me if i'm wrong CSThnknAU - can't stop thinking about you CU - see you CUIMD - see you in my dreams CUL8R - see you later CYA - see ya D8 - date DLTBBB - don't let the bed bugs bit 4EVRYRS - for ever yours EOL - end of lecture F2T - free to talk FITB - fill in the blank FWIW - for what it's worth FYEO - for your eyes only FYI - for your information LOL - Lots of Laughs


Star Trek problems

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Call us: 952 564 947 www.cristalbenalmadena.com


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The Man Rules! At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down! The guys' side of the story. (must admit, it's pretty good). We always hear "the rules" from the female side.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

The Man Rules Please note.. these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. Men are NOT mind readers. 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. 1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football or motor sports 1. You have enough clothes.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days. 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one 1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. 1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.. 1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we. 1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

Men you will probably have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping. Read this to as many men as you can to give them a laugh. Read this to as many women as you can to give them a bigger laugh!


Now Taking Bookings For Valentines Day


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The Fruit & Veg Chart This awesome chart can be used by everyone. Here’s the second part for you - G - Z


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Redwell® - Heating Your Home This Winter Redwell® - Heat your home up in an energy saving and healthy way! In comparison to conventional heaters, infrared waves don’t heat the air, but heat people, walls and furniture. You absorb the heating waves which in turn makes you feel nice and cosy. Walls and furniture store the heat much longer than air and then release it back into the living space. In this way, the walls remain dry and mould has no chance to spread. Another advantage is that the air does not circulate therefore no dust is blown up into the air. Infrared is ‘wellness’ warmth Humans have evolved with the capacity to absorb infrared heat, which in turn has a beneficial effect on our immune system. In Japan 1967 Dr. Tadishi Ishikawa designed the first model of an infrared cabin that was initially only used by doctors. In 1981, the Infrared sauna for general public use was released. Since then it has proven to be very successful in the private sector as well as by professionals such as doctors and therapists

in clinics and spas to support their treatment. Infrared heat increases circulation in the skin, stimulates the metabolism and is very hygienic due to cleaner air. Rheumatoid patients respond to a lack of air circulation and a consistent humidity is very positive. Asthmatic patients also benefit from clean air and stable humidity. Allergy sufferers can 'NEW: breathe a deep sigh of relief Towel Dryer' because there is less dust, pollen, bacteria and mould spores in the air. Partial Storage Heater saves energy Redwell® Infrared Heaters are so called Partial Storage Heaters. The storage material inside the heater keeps the running times lower and therefore saves energy. The heater continues to emit its cosy warmth, also during those periods of time when no energy is consumed. Contact us or visit the exhibition in our shop! See advert below.

The leading brand in Infrared Heating! Heat up your home in a healthy and economical way! Huge product range - white panels, mirrors, pictures, glass, blackboards etc. * Special storage material inside keeps running times low - Heat without electricity costs! * White panels from 250 to 1400 Watt in 17 sizes * Long operating distance - also suitable for big rooms * 90 months vendor warranty

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g n i z a Am mals i tic s n e A m Do at

eek a pt e atches. tak pe we loved h t on ch is m mu Th

at a

C e Th use Ho

There are more than 500 million domestic cats in the world, with 33 different breeds. A cat's heart beats twice as fast as a human heart, at 110 to 140 beats per minute. 25% of cat owners blow dry their cats hair after a bath. If your cat is near you, and her tail is quivering, this is the greatest expression of love your cat can give you. If her tail starts thrashing, her mood has changed. Time to distance yourself! Your cat loves you and can "read" your moods. If you're sad or under stress, you may also no-

tice a difference in your cat's behaviour. During her productive life, one female cat could have more than 100 kittens. Sir Isaac Newton, discoverer of the principles of gravity, also invented the cat door. A cat will almost never "meow" at another cat. This sound is reserved for humans. Know how old your cat really is. If your cat is 3, your cat is 21 in human years. If your cat is 8, your cat is 40 in human years. If your cat is 14, your cat is 70 in human years. The oldest cat on record was Puss, from England, who died in 1939 just one day after her 36th birthday. The weirdest cat on record was a female called Mincho who went up a tree in Argentina and didn't come down again until she died six years later. While treed, she managed to have three litters with equally ambitious dads.


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Random Jokes There I was sitting at the bar staring at my drink when a large, smelly biker steps up next to me, grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swig. "Well, whatcha' gonna do about it?" he says, menacingly, as I burst into tears. "Come on, man," the biker says, "I didn't think you'd CRY. I can`t stand to see a man crying." "This is the worst day of my life," I say. "I'm a complete failure. I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen and I don't have any insurance. I left my wallet in the cab I took home. I found my wife with another man and then my dog bit me." "So I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all, I buy a drink, I drop a capsule in and sit here watching the poison dissolve; then you show up and drink the whole thing! But enough about me, how's your day going?" ------------------------------------------------------------We were dressed and ready to go out for the New Year's Eve Party. We turned on a night light, turned the answering machine on, covered our pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard. We phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi. The taxi arrived and we opened the front door to leave the house. As we walked out the door, the cat we had put out in the yard, scoots back into the house. We didn't want the cat shut in the house because she always tries to eat the bird. My wife goes on out to the taxi, while I went back inside to get the cat. The cat runs upstairs, with me in hot pursuit. Waiting in the cab, my wife doesn't want the driver to know that the house will be empty for the night. So, she explains to the taxi driver that I will be out soon, 'He's just going upstairs to say Goodbye to my mother.' A few minutes later, I get into the cab. 'Sorry I took so long,' I said, as we drove away. 'That stupid bitch was hiding under the bed. I had to poke her ass with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried to take off, so I grabbed her by the neck. Then, I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me. But it worked! I hauled her fat ass downstairs and threw her out into the back yard! She better not s*** in the vegetable garden again!' The silence in the cab was deafening. ------------------------------------------------------------Hospital regulations require a wheelchair for patients being discharged. However, while

working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he didn't need my help to leave the hospital. After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator. On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him. 'I don't know,' he said. 'She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown.' ------------------------------------------------------------Couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a check up, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember. Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. 'Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?' he asks. 'Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?' 'Sure..' 'Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?' she asks. 'No, I can remember it.' 'Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so not to forget it?' He says, 'I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.' 'I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it down?' she asks. Irritated, he says, 'I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!' Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes, The old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs. She stares at the plate for a moment. 'Where's my toast ?' ------------------------------------------------------------Three old guys are out walking. First one says, 'Windy, isn't it?' Second one says, 'No, it's Thursday!' Third one says, 'So am I. Let's go get a beer..' ------------------------------------------------------------Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: 'Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?' Slim says, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.' 'Really!? Like a newborn baby!?' 'Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'


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Pa

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a pa r

zzi

le ma e f s r ou e A’ gin ith th e b we y w th, urne n o jo is m ity Th elebr c

Profile Name: Angelina Jolie Birthday: June 4, 1975

exotic looks. She is French, Iroquois, Czech and English. 6. Jolie is the goddaughter of actress Jacqueline Bisset. 7. She is an Oscar winning actress who has won Golden Globe Awards and Emmy nominations, an Academy Award along with a SAG Award. 8. Angelina has starred in music videos with Meat Loaf and Lenny Kravitz. 9. The actress isn’t just another pretty face. She’s involved in international charity projects.

Age: 38 Sign: Gemini Birthplace: Los Angeles, CA

10. Jolie has visited refugee camps around the world and has been appointed a Goodwill Ambassador for the United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees.

Hometown: Los Angeles, CA Facts about Angelina Jolie: 1. Angelina’s full name is Angelina Jolie Voight. 2. One of her nicknames is Catwoman. 3. She measures 5 ft 8 inches. 4. She’s the daughter of actor John Voight. 5. Genetics may have played a role in her

11. The actress has adopted two refugee children, one adopted child and have a daughter of their own. 12. Jolie was married previously before connecting with Brad Pit. 13. Angelina has been rated one of People Magazine’s ‘50 Most Beautiful People.’ 14. She has a tattoo that reads ‘A prayer for the wild at heart, kept in cages.


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g n i z a Am cts Inse

ray eP h t is ary s u i n t a o J Ma n int g in Fly

during or immediately after mating. ing

The praying mantis belongs to an order of insects – mantidae -- which contains approximately 2,200 species in 15 families worldwide in temperate and tropical habitats. Many different varieties live in Spain. 1. The Latin name for ‘praying mantis’ is Mantis religiosa; it got its colloquial name because of its typical prayer-like stance. 2. The term mantis derives from the Greek word for prophet. 3. Larger species have been known to prey on small lizards, frogs, birds, snakes, fish, and even rodents; most species of mantis are known to engage in cannibalism. 4. They can not only blend with the foliage, but mimic it, appearing as either living or withered leaves, sticks, tree bark, blades of grass, flowers, or even stones. Some species in Africa and Australia are even able to turn black following a bushfire to blend in with the fire ravaged landscape. 5. The female often eats the male either

6. Most praying mantises have wings and can fly. 7. In tropical species, the natural lifespan of a mantis in the wild is about 10–12 months. 8. There is a long-standing American urban legend that killing a praying mantis is illegal and subject to a fine. 9. In an episode of ‘Buffy the Vampire Slayer,’ Xander is seduced by an attractive biology teacher who turns out to be a giant praying mantis. 10. To hunt, mantids either sit and wait for an insect to pass by, or they stalk them. 11. Their front legs have rows of sharp spines to help them hold on to their prey, which they usually begin to eat head first. 12. Most mantids range in length from 0.5 to 6 inches (1.2 to 1.5 cm), but one species in Asia can reach 10 inches (25 cm) long. 13. In China, roasted praying mantis eggs were eaten to treat bedwetting. 14. The closest relatives of mantises are termites and cockroaches. 15. A mantis can turn its head through almost 300 degrees.


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How It All Begun Ever wondered how it all begun, this explains all! On the first day God created the dog and said, “Sit all day by the door of your house, drool and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this I will give you a life span of 20 years.” The dog said, “That’s a long time to bark. How about ten years and I’ll give you back the other ten?” So God agreed. On the second day God created the monkey and said, “Entertain people, do tricks and make them laugh. For this I’ll give you a 20 year lifespan.” The monkey said, “Monkey tricks for 20 years? That’s a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the dog did?” And God agreed. On the third day, God created the cow and said, “You must go into the field with a farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer’s family. For this, I will give you a life span of 60 years”. ”The cow said, “That’s kind of a tough life if you want me to live for 60 years. How about 20 and I’ll give back the other 40?” And God agreed again. On the fourth day God created man and said, “Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I’ll give you 20 years.” But man said, “Only 20 years? Could you possibly give me my 20, the 40 the cow gave back, the 10 the monkey gave back and the 10 the dog gave back; that makes 80 ok?” “Ok,” said God. “You asked for it.” So that is why for our first 20 years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next 40 years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next 10 years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch, drool and bark at everyone. Life has now been explained!


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Married Life Preparing For Married Life. The following is from a 1950’s Home Economics textbook intended for High School girls, teaching them how to prepare for married life… 1. Have dinner ready: Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal prepared – on time. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospects of a good meal are part of the warm welcome needed. 2. Prepare yourself: Take 15 minutes to rest so you will be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a lift. 3. Clear away the clutter: Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives, gathering up school books, toys, paper, etc. then run a dust cloth over the tables. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order and it will give you a lift too. 4. Prepare the children: Take a few minutes to wash the children’s hands and faces if they are small, comb their hair and if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. 5. Minimise the noise: At the time of his arrival eliminate all noise of washer, dryer, dishwasher or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet. Be happy to see him, greet him with a warm smile. 6. Some DON’TS: Don’t greet him with problems or complaints. Don’t complain if he’s late for dinner. Count this as minor compared with what he might have gone through that day.

7. Make him comfortable: Have him lean back in a comfy chair or suggest he lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soft, soothing and pleasant voice. Allow him to relax and unwind.

Sod the lot of that, hey girls?!!!


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Mum-isms

43

Practical Jokes

More great words from the Mothers’ mouths

Thinking of a pratical Joke this New Year. Try one of these!

What kind of a grade is that? You could do much better!

Prank 1... An old classic. Place cling film across the toilet bowl and lower the seat.

When you have kids of your own you'll understand. Where are you going? Who are you going with? Do I know them? Who do you think you are? Who said life was going to be easy? Why? Because I SAID so, that's why! You can go out to play...after you've done your homework. Your father is going to know about this when he gets home. You could have called. You just ate an hour ago!

Prank 2... Add a thin layer of Vaseline to the toilet seat. Your victim won't know what it is. Prank 3... Wait until you're sure the toilet will remain unused for at least 24 hours. Get 2 - 3 packets of powdered jelly and mix it into the toilet water until dissolved. Let it set. (The more jelly you use the harder it will set)


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Good Old Kids ! To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are our own, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or students... here is something to make you chuckle. Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children. After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing he said was 'DON'T!' 'Don 't what? ' Adam replied. 'Don't eat the forbidden fruit.' God said. 'Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey Eve..we have forbidden fruit!' 'No Way!' 'Yes way!' 'Do NOT eat the fruit! ' said God. 'Why?' 'Because I am your Father and I said so!', God replied, wondering why he hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants. A few minutes later, God saw his children having an apple break and he was ticked! 'Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?' God asked. 'Uh huh,' Adam replied. 'Then why did you?' said the Father. 'I don't know,' said Eve. 'She started it!' Adam said. 'Did not!' 'Did too!' 'DID NOT!' Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own. Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed. If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself. If God had trouble raising children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you ? THINGS TO THINK ABOUT! 1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down

and shut up. 2. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young. 3. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said! 4. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own 5. We childproofed our homes, but they are still getting in. ADVICE FOR THE DAY: Be nice to your kids. They will choose your nursing home one day


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Random Love Jokes A woman is like a pack of cards... 1) You need a heart to love her 2) A diamond to marry her 3) A club to smash her head in 4)And a spade to bury the bitch

45 105

Great Book Titles The ones that were never written 1) Three Hundred And Twelve Ways To Die By Household Appliance Sue I. Cide 2) The Day I Took Mr. Winky and Threw Him In A Sewer L. Bobbit 3) Household Book of Tools M.C. Hammer 4) How to Love Everyone Adolf Hitler 5) Late for Work Dr. Wages

A Love Story I shall seek and find you. I shall take you to bed and control you. I will make you ache, shake and sweat until you grunt and groan. I will make you beg for mercy. I will exhaust you to the point that you will be relieved when I leave you. And you will be weak for days. All my love, The Flu

6) Kitty's Revenge Claude Balls 7) Ten Years in the Bathtub Rink Lee Prune 8) Smelly Stuff Anita Bath 9) Being Lonely Shenita Mann 10) The Sheets Are Wet I.P. Nightly 11) Things Women Can't Do B. A. Mann


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Brief History Of Fashion Who would have thought it! 1470 - To hide her pregnancy, Queen Juana of Portugal wore the first hoop skirt. 1477 - Anne of Burgundy became the first woman to receive a diamond engagement ring. It was given to her by Maximilian I of Germany.

1947 - Christian Dior's glamorous “New Look” features tight waists, stiff petticoats and billowing skirts, ending an era of simple, war-era attire. 1950 - Kiss-proof lipstick hits the shelves.

1874 - Levi Strauss begins selling blue jeans for $13.50 per dozen.

1955 - Jeans become a big hit with teens after the release of the film Rebel Without a Cause.

1896 - Brooks Brothers introduces buttoned-down collar.

1960s - Fun furs of acrylic and polyester are made to look like real fur.

1913 - Gabrielle “Coco” Chanel opens a boutique in Deauville, France. Her chic and comfortable knit suits usher in the modern era of women's fashion. 1916 - Sneakers are first made in America by the U.S. Rubber Company. They were called Keds. 1923 - The U.S. attorney general declares it is legal for women to wear pants. 1926 - Knee-length hemlines mark a new high in women's dresses. 1922 - The first “flesh-coloured” stockings are sold for women whose skin colour is pinkishbeige. It was another twenty-five years before stockings for brown- and black-skinned women were available. 1930 - Tennis star Rene Lacoste manufactures a tennis shirt that features an embroidered crocodile. It's believed to be the first time a designer logo appears on clothing. 1935 - Bras are made with both cup and band sizes. 1938 - Nylon stockings are invented. They go on sale in 1940. 1940 - Shoulder bags for women first appeared as part of service uniforms worn during World War II. 1946 - The bikini bathing suit debuts at a fashion show in Paris.

1960s - Paper clothes are made for the public. They are disposable and used for underwear and children's clothing. 1967 - San Francisco's “hippie look” catches on throughout the country. 1969 - The Gap opens in San Francisco. 1972 - Nike begins to manufacture sneakers. 1977 - The release of the film Saturday Night Fever sparks the disco inferno. Polyester leisure suits, pant suits, and shirts fly off stores shelves. 1978 - Gloria Vanderbilt introduces the first designer jeans. 1980s - The wrinkled look is introduced. Wrinkles are permanently pressed into fabrics and shirts, vests, blouses, jackets, and pants. 1990s - Counterfeit clothing is made by computer, producing brand-name fakes. Polo, Guess?, Gap, Banana Republic, DKNY, and Disney are all copied. 1995 - “Casual Fridays” become popular at U.S. companies. Companies allow employees to replace suits with more casual attire, such as khakis, sweaters and polo shirts. 2000s - Celebrites such as P. Diddy and 7 Jennifer Lopez develop and sell their own line of clothing.


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Money Watch Well the start of another year and I hope you managed to enjoy the festive break. There are hopes for 2014 that we will start to see more confidence in the world economy. Last year the currency markets experienced some volatility and the pound finished the year on a high. Against the dollar we saw a high of 1.646 and a low of 1.485 and against the euro a high of 1.2339 and a low of 1.142 and as I write the pound was towards the high end of the range. During December The Federal Reserve in the USA decided to start in January tapering their monetary support and decided $75bn per month would be enough, they also experienced growth in their housing market sitting alongside a reduction in the number of people out of work so it is hoped to see continued success within the USA. In the Euro zone Ireland exited the bailout programme, generally speaking bond yields were down indicating investor confidence and Finance Ministers were at last able to agree in principle to the new Banking Union. The big issue for the zone this year will be clearly re-

ducing unemployment particularly in the youth sector. Whilst Germany continues to forge ahead the one concern for the zone is in France as private sector activity continues to fall. News from the UK saw the Banking Reform Act receive royal assent which means at last senior bankers in the future will be held accountable for performances of the banks they run. With the improvements in the housing sector and manufacturing rebounding retailers will have wanted to join in the improved signs by having a bumper Christmas although at the time of writing Debenhams did declare some concern that the tills were not ringing up enough sales. I am sure like me you may have made a wish to Santa for 2014 to be better and to enable us to have a little bit more money in our pockets to make those tills ring out for the rest of the year. Happy 2014 If you would like to find out more please contact Moneycorp on 952 587 657 and mention The Sentinella


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Receipe Of The Month Chestnut and Butternut Squash Soup Preparation time - 20 mins Cooking time - 35 mins Serves 4 Ingredients 1 large butternut squash, halved, seeds removed and cut into chunks I onion preeled and cut into wedges 2 garlic cloves, peeled 2 sprigs of rosemary, finely chopped 4 tbsp olive oil 12 chestnuts, roasted, peeled and chopped 1.5 litres vegetable stock

Method Preheat the oven to 200C/180C fan/gas 6. 1. Place the butternut squash in a large roasting tin with the onion and the garlic. 2. Add the rosemary, a pinch of salt and pepper and olive oil, toss together and roast for around 25 minutes until golden and softened. 3. Place in a bender with the chestnuts and any roasting juices from the pan. Blitz, adding the stock a little at a time, until smooth. 4. Tip into a saucepan, add the remaining stock if necessary and bring to the boil and reduce to simmer for 5 mins. 5. Season to taste ans serve with a drizzle of cream or dollop of creme fraiche.


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49 105

Tips For 2014 Tips for the ladies in year 2009 1. Aspire to be Barbie - the bitch has everything. 2. If the shoe fits - buy one in every colour. 3. Remember every good looking; sweet, single male is someone else's ex-boyfriend!

7. Let your greatest fear be that there is no PMS and this is just your personality. 8. I know I'm in my own little world, but it's ok. They know me here.. 9. Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself.

4. In need of a support group? - Cocktail hour with the girls!

10. Don't get your knickers in a knot, it solves nothing; and makes you walk funny.

5. Go on the 30 day diet. (I'm on it and so far I've lost 15 days).

11. When life gives you lemons in 2014 - turn it into lemonade then mix it with vodka.

6. When life gets you down - just put on your big girl panties and deal with it.

12. Take life with a pinch of salt... A wedge of lime, and a shot of tequila.


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51 105

Spread The Stupidity ! It does make you wonder sometimes how they get by, doesn’t it! Only in America... do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. Only in America... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a diet coke. Only in America... do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters. Only in America... do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage. Only in America... do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight. Only in America... do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'. Only in America... do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering. EVER WONDERED... Why the sun lightens our hair but darkens our skin? Why women can't put on mascara with their

mouth closed? Why don't you ever see the headline, 'Psychic Wins Lottery'? Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word? Why is it that doctors call what they do, 'practice'? Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavour and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons? Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour? Why isn't there mouse-flavoured cat food? Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes? Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections? Why don't sheep shrink when it rains? Why are they called apartments, when they are all stuck together? If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress? If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?


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Find the Cat There really is one but you will have to look hard. Once seen it is so obvious!

Effective & Afforable Advertising At Fantastic Prices FROM JUST 5 euros per month FOR ALL YOUR NEW OR UNWANTED ITEMS

SEE OUR TRADER SECTION FROM JUST 3 EUROS A MONTH Email: sentinella.malaga@gmail.com


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93

s e p o c s Horo by Juanita Banana of www.AbsoluteAxarquia.com ARIES: March 21-April 20 As the new year begins, you may feel harassed by chaos and conflict. Tackle this by maintaining equilibrium as best you can, particularly with others and most especially within relationships. Wade through this difficult period and you will relish the new level of harmony that´s created. TAURUS: April 21-May 21 As the new year unfolds you consider new life plans and goals and some areas that you previously considered important will be less so. A good time to study, research, cultivate new ideals and to lead new projects. GEMINI: May 22-June 21 New avenues are about to open for Geminis. Have patience and be careful not to allow uncertainty to lead you away from them. They will positively affect your relationships, your work, your creativity, home, children, and even your pets. As this new cycle, lasting two years, begins your vision will be redefined and redirected. CANCER: June 22-July 22 You will initiate partnerships, allies and groups in order to create a change of environment in your life. To achieve your goals, you must be willing to work in partnership, rather than sole leader, most successfully with Arians, Librans, and Capricorns. LEO: July 23-August 23 You become pragmatic, more organised and efficient. Everything at work is serious business, almost to the point of too much responsibility, creating inward tension. Be especially careful of yourself and children and find time for laughter and play. VIRGO: August 24-September 22 Virgoans need to be conservative with time during January and limit yourself to what is safe, necessary and dutiful. Pleasure is unfortunately limited but can be achieved through creative art or cultivation

LIBRA: September 23 - October 22 With the help of family love, you are creating solid foundations as tradition and inheritances become more important to you. Couple this with your ability to envisage possibilities with clarity, you can shape great success within your world. SCORPIO: October 23 - November 21 Your future depends on how to apply your current knowledge while accumulating and fostering further knowledge by means of practical education. If difficult responsibilities have inhibited learning in the past, now is the time to let go and fly. SAGITTARIUS: November 22 December 21 Care and caution with resources, particularly financial, should be maintained by Sagittarians at this time. Plan how best to utilise and organise your time and resources and your life will be more fulfilled now and in the future. CAPRICORN: December 22 January 20 To climb the mountains you encounter during January, you need self-control and discipline throughout all levels of your life. Be patient and your steadfastness will lead to a series of satisfying achievements. AQUARIUS: January 21-February 19 A glitch in life occurs for Aquarians in January and is symptomatic of the rest you currently require. If you're feeling stressed, fatigued or low on self-esteem, try swimming or other exercise, writing, and seek the company of friends who listen. PISCES: February 20-March 20 Your hopes, wishes and dreams may need grounding to be practical. Be careful too of setting intangible goals within groups and organisations and encourage other members to contribute.

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The Bus Stop Quiz You are driving down the road in your car on a wild, stormy night, when you pass by a bus stop and you see three people waiting for the bus: 1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to die. 2. An old friend who once saved your life 3. The perfect partner you have been dreaming about. Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing that there could only be one passenger in your car? Think before you continue reading. This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually used as part of a job application.. You could pick up the old lady, because she is going to die, and thus you should save her first.. Or you could take the old friend because he once saved your life, and this

would be the perfect chance to pay him back. However, you may never be able to find your perfect mate again. YOU WON'T BELIEVE THIS..................... The candidate who was hired (out of 200 applicants) had no trouble coming up with his answer. He simply answered: 'I would give the car keys to my old friend and let him take the lady to the hospital. I would stay behind and wait for the bus with the partner of my dreams.' Sometimes, we gain more if we are able to give up our stubborn thought limitations. Never forget to 'Think Outside of the Box.' HOWEVER...., The correct answer is to run the old lady over and put her out of her misery, have sex with the perfect partner on the bonnet of the car, then drive off with the old friend for a few beers!!!


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n o i t a m r Info

Local Police : 092 Guardia : 062 Fire : 080 Sunday - Benagalbon, Coin La Trocha, Estacion de Cartama, Fuengirola, Malaga next to Football Stadium, Pizarra car boot, Torremolinos by crocodile park.

...In our own random order! Bus Times Alhaurin de la Torre - 952 410 444 Alhaurin el Grande - 952 491 010 Benalmadena - 952 441 545 Coin - 952 453 587 Fuengirola - 952 471 000 Malaga - 952 327 950 Torremolinos - 952 380 600 Bank Hours Usually 8:30am-2pm except Sundays, Bank holidays and Fiestas. Please note, the majority of banks will not accept bills to be paid (ie: electric, phone, rates) after 11am.. Taxis Alhaurin de la Torre 952 410 444 Alhaurin el Grande 952 491 010 Benalmadena 952 441 545 Coin 952 453 587 Fuengirola 952 471 000 Malaga 952 327 950 Torremolinos 952 380 600 Weekly Market days Tuesday - Antequera, Fuengirola Wednesday - Alhaurin de la Torre, Arroyo de la Miel, Rincon de la Victoria, Saydo Hotel Mollina, La Cala de Mijas Thursday - Alhaurin el Grande Freia ground, Pizarra, Torremolinos Recinto Feria Ground. Friday - Arroyo de La Miel, Cartama country Farmers market, Cartama Feria Ground, Mijas Costa, Rincon de la Victoria Saturday - Coin, Fuengirola, La Cala de Mijas, Ojen, Caratracca car boot.

Shops 10am - 2pm - 5pm - 8:30pm (generally) The municipal market (fruit and veg) and the weekly markets are only open mornings. Cinemas - Showing English Films Coin - La Trocha 951 315 039 Fuengirola Cinesur Miramar 902 221 Intenational Dialing Codes Uk 0044 Gibraltar 9567 USA/Canada 001 Ireland 000353 Health Centres Alhaurin de la Torre 952 410 426 Alharin el Grande 952 595 000 Alora 952 498 100 Benalmadena 952 440 305 Cartama 952 424 042 Central Health Service 955 018 000 Coin 952 453 336 Fuengirola (Los Boliches) 952 460 036 Fuengirola (west) 952 468 835 Health 24 Hr Response 902 505 060 Mijas (La Cala) 952 492 150 Mijas (Las Lagunas) 951 062 247 Torremolinos 952 386 484 Water Supplies Malaga: 952 135 013

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Ambulance : 061 Water : 952 540 662 Electricity : 952 540 662 Tourist Information Coin 952 822 818 Fuengirola 952 467 457

tion

952 048 484 Arrivals T2/3 952 048 844 Arrivals T1 952 048 845 Departures 952 048 804

Consulates UK Opposite the main bus station Edif, Eurocom Bloque Sur C/Mauricio Moro 2-2º- Malaga 902 109 256 or 913 342 194 Ireland Avda, de los Boliches, Nº15 Fuengirola 952 475 108 Netherlands/Dutch Avda, Palma de Mallorca, 57 Edif. Castillo San Louis, bajo 29620 Torremolinos 952 380 888 Germany C/Mauricio Moro 2, Malaga 952 363 591 Sweden 952 604 383 France 952 226 590 / 952 214 888 Belgium 952 559 159 Denmark 952 211 797 Luxembourg 952 857 197 Telefonica Dial 1002 to report a fault on the line. For general enquiries dial 1004 Airports Malaga 24-hour information

Informa

Airlines www.easyjet.com www.ryanair.com www.thompsonfly.com www.flymonarch.com www.flybe.com www.bmibaby.com Railway Stations Malaga 952 360 202 Granada 958 271 272 A1 Andalus Service952 537 227 Coastal Service 952 360 202 RENFE Tickets 902 240 202 Town Halls Alora 952 496 100 Benalmadena 952 579 800 Campanillos 952 722 168 Coin 952 453 018 La Cala de Mijas 952 493 208 Fuengirola 952 589 300 Malaga 952 135 000 Rincon 952 402 300 Torremolinos 952 379 400 Hospitals Carlos Haya 951 030 100 Civil Hospital 951 030 300 Maternity Hospital 951 030 200 Costa del Sol Hospital 952 102 112 Hospital Clinico University 952 649 400

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57


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:) a h a h Jokes They met at the singles club meeting and discovered over time that they enjoyed each other's company. After several weeks of meeting for coffee, Claude asked Maude out for dinner and much to his delight, she accepted. They had a lovely evening. They dined at the most romantic restaurant in town. Despite his age, they ended at his place for an after-dinner drink. Things continued along a natural course and age being no inhibitor, Maude soon joined Claude for a most enjoyable roll in the hay. As they were basking in the glow of the magic moments they'd shared, each was lost for a time in their own thoughts..... Claude was thinking: 'If I'd known she was still a virgin, I'd have been gentler.' Maude was thinking: 'If I'd known he could still do it, I'd have taken my tights off.' -----------------------------------------------------------The wife asked me what I was doing on the computer last night. I told her I was looking for cheap flights. "I love you!" she said, and then she got all excited, she quickly undressed and we had the most amazing sex ever.... Which is odd because she's never shown an interest in darts before? -----------------------------------------------------------A mother was working in the kitchen, listening to her five-year-old son playing with his new electric train set in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son saying, 'All of you b******* who want off, get off now, 'cos we're in a hurry! And all of you b******* who are getting on, get on now, 'cos we're going down the tracks'. The horrified mother went in and told her son, 'We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language.' Two hours later, the son came out of the bedroom and resumed playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say, 'All passengers who are disembarking the train, please remember to take all of your be-

longings with you. We thank you for travelling with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one.' She hears the little boy continue, 'For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today.' As the mother began to smile, the child added.......... 'For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the fat controller in the kitchen. -----------------------------------------------------------A farmer went out one day and bought a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop. The new rooster struts over to the old rooster and says, 'OK old fart, time for you to retire.' The old rooster replies, 'Come on, surely you cannot handle ALL of these chickens. Look what it has done to me. Can't you just let me have the two old hens over in the corner?' The young rooster says, 'Beat it: You are washed up and I am taking over.' The old rooster says, 'I tell you what, young stud. I will race you around the farmhouse. Whoever wins gets the exclusive domain over the entire chicken coop.' The young rooster laughs. 'You know you don't stand a chance, old man. So, just to be fair, I will give you a head start'. The old rooster takes off running. About 15 seconds later the young rooster takes off running after him. They round the front porch of the farmhouse and the young rooster has closed the gap. He is only about 5 feet behind the old rooster and gaining fast the farmer, meanwhile, is sitting in his usual spot on the front porch when he sees the roosters running by. The Old Rooster is squalking and running as hard as he can. The Farmer grabs his shotgun and - BOOM - he blows the young rooster to bits. The farmer sadly shakes his head and says, 'Dammit.....third gay rooster I bought this month.'

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59

Jokes h a h a :) Stevie Wonder is playing his 1st gig in China and the giant auditorium is packed to the roof with excited fans. In a bid to break the ice with the huge audience, he asks if anyone has a request. One chap jumps out of his seat in the 1st row and shouts at the top of his voice: "Play a jazz chord! Play a jazz chord!" Amazed that this guy knows about the jazz influences in Stevie's career, the blind impresario starts to play an E minor scale and then swings into a difficult jazz melody for about 10 minutes. When he finishes the whole place goes absolutely wild with excitement! But, the same chap jumps out of his seat again and shouts: "No, no, play a jazz chord; play a jazz chord!" A bit cheesed off by this, Stevie, being the professional he is, dives straight in to a jazz improvisation with his band around the B flat minor chord and really tears the place apart. The crowd goes completely ballistic with this impromptu show of Stevie’s musical expertise! But, still the little Chinese guy jumps up again and shouts "No, no. Play a jazz chord; play a jazz chord!" Stevie is getting really p****** off now that this chap doesn't seem to appreciate his playing ability and shouts to him from the stage: "Okay, smart arse, you get up here and do it!" The little bloke climbs onto the stage, grabs hold of the mike and starts to sing............ “A jazz chord to say, I ruv you......” -----------------------------------------------------------One day in the future, George Bush has a heart-attack and dies. He immediately goes to hell, where the devil is waiting for him. "I don't know what to do here," says the devil. "You are on my list, but I have no room for you. You definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got a couple of folks here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll even let YOU decide who leaves." George thought that sounded pretty good, so the devil opened the door to the first room. In it was Ted Kennedy and a large pool of water. Ted kept diving in, and surfacing, emptyhanded. Over, and over, and over he dived in and surfaced with nothing. Such was his fate

in hell. "No," George said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer, and I don't think I could do that all day long." The devil led him to the door of the next room. In it was Al Gore with a sledge-hammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time. "No, this is no good; I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day," commented George. The devil opened a third door. Through it, George saw Bill Clinton, lying on the bed, his arms tied over his head, and his legs restrained in a spread-eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best. George looked at this in shocked disbelief, and finally said, "Yeah man, I can handle this." The devil smiled and said... "OK, Monica, you're free to go." -----------------------------------------------------------We were dressed and ready to go out for the New Year's Eve Party. We turned on a night light, turned the answering machine on, covered our pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard. We phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi. The taxi arrived and we opened the front door to leave the house. As we walked out the door, the cat we had put out in the yard scoots back into the house. We didn't want the cat shut in the house because she always tries to eat the bird so my wife went on out to the taxi, while I went back inside to get the cat. The cat runs upstairs, with me in hot pursuit. Waiting in the cab, my wife doesn't want the driver to know that the house will be empty for the night, so she explains to the taxi driver that I will be out soon, 'He's just going upstairs to say Goodbye to my mother.' I get into the cab. 'Sorry I took so long,' I said, as we drove away, 'that stupid bitch was hiding under the bed. I had to poke her arse with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried to take off, so I grabbed her by the neck. Then, I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me. But it worked! I hauled her fat arse downstairs and threw her out into the back yard! I just hope that she doesn’t s*** in the vegetable garden again!'

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s e g a P Puzzle Get Quizical

Hey Diddle Riddle

1. Name the follow up to Mary Poppins? 2. In which city is the Seagram building? 3. Attica is a region of which country? 4. What was Demeter the goddess of? 5. Which food does caseous apply to? 6. What type of bird is a Green Leek? 7. What is the parliament of Greenland?

1. You're in a mansion and the power's out. You see a green door and a red door. Pick one (it doesn't matter which.) Now you see a purple door and a orange door. Pick one (again, it doesn't matter which you pick). Now you see a door with a golden handle and a door with a silver handle. Pick one. You finally come to some signs on three doors. One says "Death from drowning," another says "Death from machine guns," and the last one says "Death from electric chair." Then you see a big sign off to the side that says "Or stay in the mansion and starve to death." What do you choose and still live? 2. The man who makes it doesn't use it, the man that buys it can't use it and the man who uses it doesn't know it. What is it? 3. A lady was responsible for hundreds of deaths but was never charged. How is this possible?

8. Who was the wife of Jupiter? 9. In France what was a Trouvier? 10. What is the SI unit of temperature?

4. Without a bridle or a saddle, across a thing I ride a-straddle. And those I ride, by help of me though almost blind, are made to see. What am I?

Answers on page 66

Sudokus Easy

Tough


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61

Puzzle P ages Crossword Across

Down

1 Sash round waist (10)

1 Timepiece (5)

7 Minimum height for low flying (7)

2 Flying insect (4)

8 Female animal (5)

3 Send to another country (6)

10 Create (4)

4 Fledgeling (4,4)

11 Likely (8)

5 In no way — far from it (3,1,3)

13 Suborn (people) — tamper with (horses) (6)

6 Walker — concert goer (10)

15 Cruel and unfeeling (6)

9 Without paying attention (10)

17 Payment to shareholders (8)

12 Blunt instrument (8)

18 Piece of music (4)

14 Temporary camp (7)

21 Excite (5)

16 Name of English girl or Italian boy (6)

22 Ruth, crime writer (7)

19 Newspapers — cupboard (5)

23 Disgraceful (10))

20 Destroy — nullify (4)


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r e d a r T The E

oto. t inc. ph r e v d a oxed th. 552 5€ for b th of the monr call: 696 116 1 r o s d 7 the 1 8 wor onth o um of 2 made before 17th of the m im x a m e e r b 3€ for a Payment to mail.com befo g @ a g .mala ntinella mail se

Items For Sale Red Velvet Stools 12 available, sold as job lot

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SWIVEL CHAIR / STAND UP FAN 5€ RED COMMERCIAL OFFICE CHAIRS 10 available 20€ each PLASTIC TABLES & CHAIRS, 5 tables, 30 green chairs, offers. WHITE SUN LOUNGERS 5 available, offers accepted. LARGE WOODEN PARTICIANS 2 available, offers. VARIOUS DOMESTIC FRIDGES small and large from 40€. PROFESSIONAL OFFICE WHITEBOARD 20€. KEY CABINET 40€ Call 635 575 336 reservations@azteccc.com

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Karaoke Machine With Kam microphone

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63

What’s O n? What’s on this month in your area? January Events at POGS Every Weds from 8th Jan Jazz session 22.30 Every Thurs mita i mita jam session 22.30 Every Sunday 19.30 chicago jim band Fri 3 Lazy Sundays 23.30 Sat 4 Traffic Jam 23.30 Fri 10 Mama Kin 23.30 Sat 11 Monkey Tennis 23.30 Fri 17 Jukebox band 23.30 Sat 18 Super Grooves 23.30 Sat 25 Stereo 80 23.30 31 The Backbeats Beatles Tribute 23.30 Market Days - Monday - Marbella, Torrox, Alora & Riviera del Sol Tuesday - Fuengirola,

Marbella, Benihavis, Algeciras & Tarifa Wednesday - Arroyo (flea market in paloma park) La Cala & Alhaurin de la Torre Thursday - Torremolinos, Alhaurin el Grande, & San Pedro Friday - Arroyo, Tivoli & Paloma Park, Mijas Costa & Marbella Saturday - Puerto Banus, Mijas Costa, Coin, Istan, Estepona,Ojen Pueblo, & Fuengirola Flea Market Sunday Fuengirola(nr Mosque), Torremolinos Flea Market, La Trocha Boot Fair, Coin, Estepona, San Roque & Sotogrande, Mijas Hipodromo Boot Fair, Calypso Calahonda. Many markets take place on the local feria grounds. If there is a Feria, the market will be closed!


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y r o t c !! e r i D a month om s ro s u e s 5 Busine st your Business hEemreailfr:osmenjutinset lla.malaga@gmail.c r li We can n 696 116 552 o o y a Call tod

BEDS AIR CONDITIONING wFor Air Conditioning call Mark at Esola, 616 119 007, Torre del Mar

BARS & RESTARURANTS wThe Mad Monk, All sports shown, large parties

catered for. La Carihuela Torremolinos, behind Hotel Cabello. Tel: 693 478 275 Email: themadmonk@rocketmail.com wPOGS The Old Irish rock pub, live music 5 nights a week. Facebook Pogs Fuengirola C/ Lamo de Esplnosa, Fuengirola. wLazy Days Enjoy a relaxing drink or snacks at Lazy Days, WIFI available. Salvador Allende 50 Le - 12, 4, Torremolinos Call: 656 358 368 wDixie’s Blue Moon The friendly, family bar, Karaoke every night. Call: 665 097 140 Avda. de Espana 18b, Torromolinos, Montemar, near hotel La Barracuda wCristal @ Costamar Full International A La Carte Menu available including a selection of delicious steaks & fish dishes. Call: 952 564 947 wShaggys music bar Fuengirola. Live music every Thurs/Fri/Sat. Facebook fuengirolanightlifemusicbarshaggys wThe Peacock Sunday Roasts & Prime Steaks, Special Meat Feast. Call: 677 443 461

wSuave Restaurant where it all comes together. www.suavecafe.com Call: 952 66 985 wFestival Cafe Cafeteria, Internet, Gelateria, English Breakfasts, hamburgers, pizza and pasta. La Trocha, Coin. Call: 951 315 206

BEAUTY SALONS wSpikes Hair & Beauty Chiropody and special wedding packages. Call: 952 935 297 Mijas Costa wSudi Salon Specialising in Threading. Call: 952 381 504 Arroyo de Miel

wThe Bed Warehouse New larger showroom, top quality British Beds and mattresses at unbeatable prices. Call: 600 633 986 / 634 187 700 www.bedwarehousespain.com bedwarehousespain@hotmail.com

BOUTIQUES wWags & Lads Boutique Now in Calypso, Calahonda near Santander Bank. facebook wagsandladscalypso

DENTISTS wAlhaurin Dental Centre World class dental care, li-

censed, insured and provides high quality, word class dental care to the whole family since 2001. Call: 654 996 026

ELECTRONIC CIGARETTES wElectronic Cigarette Shop now open in La Cala, Mijas Call: 952 494 844

ENGINEERING/SYSTEMS wKiano All types of machinery. Call: 638 735 747

ENTERTAINMENT wManhattens Show Bar The Ultimate entertainment venue. Call: 605 663 335

ESTATE AGENTS/REAL ESTATE wAxarquia Properties S.L Call: 626 038 851 or 952

436 781 www.axarquiaproperties.com Email: sallyharrison@axarquiaproperties.com wDreamtime Properties Call:952 384 046 www.dreamtimeproperties.com info@dreamtimeproperties.com

FINANCIAL wMoneycorp for all your financial needs. Call: 952 587 657 moneycorp.com/spain


To advertise call 696 116 552 or email sentinella.malaga@gmail.com

65

Business Listing FURNITURE

PLANT HIRE

wFurniture Land Quality Secondhand Furniture with bargain low prices. Alhaurin el Grande Tel: 633 666 098 www.furniture-land.webs.com

wWebb & Sons Plant Hire Suppliers of river stone, sand, gravel, turf & top soil. Call: 649 526 922 / 647 880 816 based near Alhaurin el Grande

GARDENS

POOL SHOPS

wLa Concepcion Historical and Botanical Gardens Call: 952 252 148

wSplash Swimming Pool S.L The biggest pool shop in Mijas. Pool maintenance, pool analysis, special offers always available. Call:  952 591 053 info@splashpoolshop.com

GLASS CURTAINS wRDMC’S Glass manufacturers S.L, glass curtain &

stainless steel specialists. Tel: 952 477 963

HAIR ACADEMIES wAztec Hair Academy For a career hairdressing.Call: 657 441 740 Fuengirola

in

HEATING wRedwell Heating The leading brand in Infrared

Heating systems. Low consumption, low running time. Call: 952 539 742 www.redwell.com

HOLIDAY APARTMENTS

POSTAL SHOPS wOffex Post Shops From Royal Mail postal service to worldwide FedEx parcel delivery. Call: 952 577 516 Email: mail@offexspain.com

REMOVALS wRoy Trevor Removals The professional worldwide movers, weekly services between UK, Spain & Portugal. Call: 951 311 118 Mijas Costa

SKY T.V wThe T.V Company For all your viewing needs. Don’t

wPalm Beach Club Holiday apartments & Studios. Special long let prices. Call: 952 370339

be panicked into paying high prices. Call: 951 396 243 / 640 326 552 Email: thetvcompany@gmail.com

HOTELS

TELEVISION REPAIRS

wHotel Tamisa Golf The jewel of Mijas Call: 952 858 988 reservas@hoteltamisagolf.com

INTERNET SHOPS wThe Office Internet access, phone cabins, Royal Mail postal service and UPS Courier Service. Email: theofficecalahonda@gmail.com

INTERNET TV wX Pat Planet Free UK Channels, no monthly fees Call: 952 22 33 44 / 605 193 609 wIPTV with up to date TV service. set top boxes with 14 day catch up. Call: 951 390 567

LAWYERS wDe Cotta Law Spanish and English Lawyers, specialising in Business Law, Debt Recovery, Company Start-Ups and more. Multilingual. Mijas Costa/Calahonda. Tel: 952 931 781 mijas@decottalaw.net

LOCKSMITH wEmergency/Appointment. Doors opened without destruction, Locks changed, Patio Doors & Windows Secured, 24 hour service Call Paul 657 466 803

wTelevision Repairs Specialists in Plasma, LCD, LED TV’s, can collect. Call: John 600 706 201

TENNIS wTennis Coach Hans Lehto tennis coach, played for 25 years. Call: 635 295 149

WINDOW TINTING wMobile Service ITV legal Solar reflective tint for glass curtains, balconies, yachts stop fading, heat glare, save money on cooling, make living in the sun comfortable. 958 496 571 / 644 546 176 solarshadetinting@gmail.com

ADVERTISE HERE FROM JUST 5 EUROS A MONTH BASED ON A YEAR’S CONTRACT 3 MONTHS 30 EUROS 6 MONTHS 40 EUROS 12 MONTHS 60 EUROS CALL: 696 116 552 EMAIL: sentinella.malaga@gmail.com


66

Please mention The Sentinella when responding to adverts

en s T ,10 p 9 o , T ,8 ,7 6 , 5 4, ,3,

1,2

Celebrities and their phobias… 1. Johnny Depp Clourophobia, fear of clowns 2. Sigmund Freud Siderodromophobia, fear of train travel 3. Howard Hughes Mysophobia, fear of germs

Top Ten most populated cities in the world:

4. Marilyn Monroe Agoraphobia, fear of public or open spaces

1. Tokyo, Japan Pop – 32,450,000

5.Billie Bob Thorton Panophobia, fear of antique furniture

2. Seoul, South Korea Pop: 20,550,000 3. Mexico City, Mexico Pop – 20,450,000 4. New York, United States Pop – 19,750,000 5. Mumbai, India Pop – 19,200,000 6.Jakarta, Indonesia Pop – 18,900,000

6. Alfred Hitchcock Ovophobia, fear of eggs 7. Natalie Wood Hydrophobia, fear of water. She died by drowning 8. John Madden Aerophobia, fear of flying 9. Christina Ricci Botanophobia, fear of indoor houseplants 10. Madonna Brontophobia, fear of thunder

7. Sao Paulo, Brazil Pop – 18,850,000 8. Delhi, India Pop – 18,600,000 9. Osaka, Japan Pop – 17,375,000 10. Shanghai Pop – 16,650,000 Get Quizical Answers 1. Bedknobs and Broomsticks, 2. New York, 3. Greece, 4. Agriculture 5. Cheese, 6. Parrot, 7. Landsting, 8. Juno, 9. A minstrel, 10. Kelvin Riddle Diddle Answers 1. Pick the door with the electric chair. Remember, the power is out? 2. A coffin 3. The lady was Madam Guillotine. 4. Eye glasses

Last Month’s Crossword Answers


PLAYAMAR EUCALIPTOS 3 bed, 2.5 bath, semi detached house, roof terrace, 2 patios

230.000€

PLAYAMAR In need of reform 2/3 bedroom duplex penthouse 115m2

Just 85.000€

PLAYAMAR

PROPERTY OF THE MONTH:

3 bedroom luxury penthouse, 2 bathrooms, large terrace, views, 133m2, beautiful at

Investment opportunity, prime spot Bajondillo Playa 3 bedroom semi detached house, 50m to beach, in need of reform, 120m2.

215.000€

240.000€

FREE ENERGY CERTIFICATES!! PLAYAMAR - Playamar II complex, type c, apmt, 2 bed, 2 bath, 120m2 210.000€ Offer From 1st January we will refund LOS ALAMOS - 1 bed apartment, 56m2, 69.000€ the cost of any energy efficiency reports LOS ALAMOS - Studio apartments, choice of 3 43.000 - 53.000€ if your property is then sold by us PLAYAMAR - Independent villa, 5/6 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, own pool, (up to maximum 180 euros) 2 garage, prime position, 400m plot. 465.000€ neg. Our certificates cost from 75 euros + LA CANADA DE LOS CARDOS (TORRE) 3 bedroom semi detached IVA (50m2 or less) house, 3 bathrooms, built 2003, 250m2, own pool, garage 299.000€ neg.

The Sentinella Malaga January 2014  

The little mag that fits in your bag for info on the go

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