Issue 191

Page 1




2// December 10, 2009

Second Supper

Social Networking

What is your Biggest Pet PeeVe? Bartenders who can’t mix a tasty drink celeBrity crush: Craig Minowa (Cloud Cult)

Second Supper 614 Main St., La Crosse, WI 54601 Phone: (608) 782-7001 E-mail: Online: Publisher: Roger Bartel Editor in Chief: Adam Bissen Student Editor: Ben Clark Sales: Mike Keith Sales: Jenaveve Bell Sales intern: Ansel Ericksen Contributors: Nick Cabreza, Ashly Conrad, Brett Emerson, Emily Faeth, Jake Groteuschen, Shuggypop Jackson, Jonathan Majak, Briana Rupel, Stephanie Schultz, Anna Soldner Second Supper is a weekly alternative newspaper published by Bartanese Enterprises LLC, 614 Main St., La Crosse, WI 54601

First concert you Went to: Sugar Ray What is your BeVerage oF choice? Bloody Marys What Book are you currently reading? Paula Scher's "Make It Bigger"

name and age: Caitlin Dettmann, 21

tell us your guiltiest Pleasure: Culver's "Flavor of the Day"

Where Were you Born? Right here in La Crosse

tell us a Joke: Why was the Energizer Bunny arrested? He was charged with battery.

current JoB: Lindy's Sub Shop dream JoB: A designer of sorts... perhaps CD book jackets... if CDs still exist by then.

iF a genie granted you one Wish, What Would you ask For? A day at Noah's Ark with no lines. What's the last thing you Bought? A bottle of Reisling

last thing you googled: Pictorial Modernism iF you could liVe anyWhere in the World, Where Would it Be? I haven't traveled far enough to figure that out yet. What is something you Want to do BeFore you die? Live

What's in your Pocket right noW?: 50 Cents What is your FaVorite Part oF second suPPer? Crossword hoW do you knoW shuggyPoP? I saw his sweet bike and I had to introduce myself.

My Reality?


Dear Reader: This probably doesn’t sound like a particularly daring statement, but I often think there’s too much consumerism in Christmas. No, I won’t bore you with any mustache-twisting idealism — by next week, I’m sure you’ll be as sick of the holier-than-thou attitudes as you are of the Wal-Mart circulars — but just understand that I’m in your camp. Accordingly, you may think I feel guilty for working in an advertising-driven industry. I do not. Look through the pages of Second Supper. You’ll hardly ever find a corporate ad in here. I’m sure our publisher wishes we had more, but I relish the fact Second Supper is almost 100 percent by and for La Crosse. We’re supported by independent businesses, distributed by independent businesses, and in a world of corporate publishing, we’re the rare independent press. So that’s why I can say, without any guilt or irony, that I love our third-annual holiday shopping issue. Inside, you will find a guide to some of our favorite shops in the downtown area. These business sport weird knick-knacks on the counters and handmade signs on the walls. The merchandise is often local — as are the workers — so when you spend your money at downtown businesses, it mostly stays within La Crosse (or Holmen or Onalaska or La Crescent). This holiday season, you know you have to buy some people presents, so why not come downtown? You can heed our present suggestions, but independent business are a gift all their own.

— Adam Bissen

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Second Supper

Things To Do

Kindle that holiday spirit with 'Carol'

The Top

Advantages to shopping local

1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7.

Hot chicks Builds tax base Lowers carbon footprint Creates local jobs More browse-able Reduces sprawl Better customer service

Things we don’t want to hear 1. “Cold enough for ya?” 2. More Tiger Woods gossip 3. “Bro” 4. Dane Cook 5. “Brett Favre” 6. “High this week of 16” 7. “I’m pregnant.”

Yes, yes, we all know the story of “A Christmas Carol.” And, no, there is no surprise ending in the University of Wisconsin-La Crosse production continuing this weekend. But that does not mean it’s not worth braving the cold to see Director Mary Leonard’s talented cast give a spirited rendition of the holiday classic. And it’s not just the troupe’s acting, including the performances of several local youngsters, that is noteworthy. You will truly feel like you’ve stepped into the world of Scrooge and friends. Terry Rindfleisch, critic for the La Crosse Tribune, called it a “striking set complete with a gorgeous backdrop of London” that helps “set the stage for Christmas postcard-like scenes.” Of course, you still have to go back out into the cold afterward, but you’ll leave with a warm glow inside. Performances are at 7:30 p.m. Thursday and Friday, Dec. 10 and 11, and 2 p.m. Saturday and Sunday, Dec. 12 and 13. For tickets, call (608) 785-8522.


Homes tour benefits LGBT center


Our friends at the LGBT Resource Center are sponsoring a holiday home tour from 4 to 8 p.m. Sunday, Dec. 13. Four area homes are featured in the “Make Your Yuletide Gay” tour. There is a minimum donation of $20 for tickets. Food and refreshments will be available.

Great gift ideas for your favorite:

paddler skier backpacker runner

climber college student triathlete

December 10, 2009 // 3


weekend warrior

For tickets, call (608) 784-0452 or visit the resource center at 303 Pearl St. For information, send e-mail to org.

Library offers free holiday movie

Although it likely would not be considered a Christmas classic, “Bells of St. Mary’s” fits perfectly in the holiday season and is a good choice for the La Crosse Public Library’s free movie series this month. Released in December 1945, the movie is one of the many musical-comedy-dramas that captured the hearts of Americans in the war weary 1940s. Bing Crosby stars as Father Chuck O’Malley, a young priest bringing change to an inner-city parish desperate for a new school. His friendly protagonist in the film is none other than Ingrid Bergman as Sister Mary Benedict. Crosby introduced the role of Father O’Malley the previous year in “Going My Way,” which earned him an Oscar. (Barry Fitzgerald stole the show, however. He was nominated for both best lead AND supporting actor for his role as an aging priest, and won the supporting actor Oscar.) Crosby and Bergman, who also won an Academy Award in 1944 (“Gaslight”), received Oscar nominations for “Bells,” but both came away empty-handed. “Bells of St. Mary's” shows at 6:30 p.m. Monday, Dec. 14, at the La Crosse Public Library, 800 Main St.


Choral ensembles celebrate season


If you’re still missing that holiday spirit, get your butt over to Valhalla, in the Cartwright Center, for the 17th annual UW-L Festival of Carols. We’re confident it will chase away any of those lingering blues. Four choral ensembles will perform. Concerts begin at 7:30 p.m. on Saturday and Sunday, Dec. 12 and 13. Seating is general admission; suggested donations are $5 for students and senior citizens and $8 for others. For tickets, call (608) 785-8415.

4// December 10, 2009

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Second Supper


By Jonathan Majak It sounds like a Cole Porter musical plotline: a plucky Midwestern girl leaves the confines of a Wisconsin town to pursue her dreams in Los Angeles but due to a twist of fate finds herself back where she started, building a new life on her old stomping grounds. But this is not Rodgers and Hammerstein, this is Kerry Miller‘s real life. It’s a snowy Wednesday morning and Miller is situated at work table in the back of at the 508 Annex on Main Street. It’s a quiet environment with dress forms shoulder to shoulder, stacks and stacks of fabrics and various accessories strewn about in organized little piles. In hand, Miller is toiling away on a pair of pajamas pants for one of the cast members of the La Crosse Community Theatre’s production of Honk, a musical retelling of the classic Ugly Duckling story. “Aren’t they cute with the little ducks?” she says, holding the fabric up. “It’s one of those things where the audience probably won’t notice it but the actors do. I’ve never costumed kids before. They are so excited about their costumes.” Less in the tradition of Cats and leaning more toward Lion King in terms of actors not being completely made-up to look like their animal counterparts, Miller explained that the costuming on the show is not a literal representation of the various animal characters but tries to adhere to the spirit of them.

Kerry Miller works on costumes for the La Crosse Community Theatre production of "Honk!" “It’s a lot about the silhouette and the shape,” she states, wheeling over a dress form with a tweedy grey jacket with a furry collar. “This is for the cat character. We also have a goose character that wears an old pilot’s hat with the word ‘Goose’ on it to reference Top Gun. It’s a cute show so we can do lots of poultry and duck puns.” Tweed coats and pajamas pants are some of the more restrained pieces Miller has had the chance to work on. After graduating from Central High School and then UW-La Crosse, Miller went westward to Los Angeles to master in costume design at UCLA and found herself working for the well-regarded costume shop Muto-Little. After doing a variety of work, including Lady GaGa (“I got to see them test out her flaming bra”), Miller found herself working for royalty, the king of pop Michael Jackson as he prepped on for his “This Is It” tour. “We thought it was a rumor at first,” Miller sighs while ironing some fabric, thinking back to his death. “But then twenty minutes later they came up and told us to stop what we were doing.” And while death cost Miller a job, a new life also caused her to get one as well. With costumer designer Mandy Parmeter on maternity leave, Miller was brought in to help with the show, which she does most weekdays in the quiet of the 508 Annex. “I like it,” she says while at the ironing machine. “I have my own little world and I get to play dress up for the rest of my life.” While Miller worked on sewing in her

At A Glance

What: La Crosse Community Theatre production of Honk! When: 7:30 p.m. Dec. 11-12, 17-19; 2 p.m. Dec. 13 and Dec. 20 Where: La Crosse Community Theatre, 118 Fifth Ave. N. Fyi: For ticket information, call (608) 784-9292. own little world, over at the La Crosse Community Theatre, tech director Dillon McArdle busily worked on building a world for the characters of Honk to inhabit. “We’re on day 17th day of the build,” McArdle says, turning down the radio playing in his work area, tucked off from the stage. Besides building the sets, McArdle also helps with the lighting and sound design for the show. “Lighting and sound helps the audience place where they are,” he says. “It’s there to help tell the story.” McArdle believes that while both lighting and sound help enhance the story, it should never intrude on it either. “If the audience doesn’t notice it, you’re doing a good job,” he laughs. And while like Miller, McArdle finds himself often times alone working his 9 hour days, he’s never bored. “The projects involve a lot of thinking,” he says. “It’s easy to get lost in the building of things.”

“I have my own little world and I get to play dress up for the rest of my life.”

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have an opinion? Send your letters to the editor to Second Supper, 614 Main St., La Crosse, WI 54601 or by e-mail to Letters should be signed and include phone number for verification purposes. Please limit letters to no more than 300 words. Second Supper reserves the right to edit letters for length, clarity and grammar. For more information, call (608) 782-7001.

Second Supper


'Public Enemies' (2009) Director: Michael Mann Cast: Johnny Depp, Christian Bale, Marion Cotillard Writers: Ronan Bennett, Michael Mann, Ann Biderman, based on the book by Bryan Burrough When the entire Badger State popped a collective boner over the announcement that Michael Mann would shoot parts of his gangster epic "Public Enemies" on Wisconsin soil, there seemed to be nary a Wisconsinite who expected the film, with a huge director as well as three huge stars attached, to be nothing less than the next "Citizen Kane," or at least the next "Scarface." It's no surprise then that when it didn't live up to those lofty expectations, most Sconnie audiences panned it. Seeing it for the first time now that it's on DVD, I'm reluctant to hop on the "'Public Enemies' sucks" bandwagon. Is it a let down? Well sure: Mann plus Johnny Depp plus John Dillinger biopic should equal best-picture-of-the-year contender, but the final product finds trouble striking a balance between the blazing action of a summer blockbuster and the character development of a best-picture nominee. Mann's attempts to distribute evenly the elements of action, romance and crimeprocedural leads to the underdevelopment of each. Meanwhile, Christian Bale's calculating FBI agent, Melvin Purvis, feels especially underused, disappearing for long stretches of film and reappearing sporadically only to fill us in on the investigation's progress. At two-and-a-half hours, "Public

Enemies" is no lean cut of cinema; yet despite its length, the film can't find time to deepen its characters or their relationships with each other. Marion Cotillard, as the innocent lil' girl who falls for Depp's gangster allure, may be the broadest of the bunch. In that regard, "Public Enemies" might have been better as a straight love story more along the lines of "Bonnie and Clyde." Just when the romance picks up momentum, Mann undercuts it by switching focus to the FBI's grueling manhunt, and vice versa. It definitely lacks the black-and-white, good vs. evil clarity of, say, "American Gangster." However choppy, the film is never boring; nor is it unchallenging. It explores the definitions and roles of crime and the law in a changing American society, as well as their ethics (if any) and consequences. "Public Enemies" may ultimately be better in theory than in practice, but it has the decency to at least be captivating and unpredictable. It may have the length of an epic, but it lacks the focus, and in order to live up to its gargantuan expectations, the already-crammed-in picture would need to have been even longer. ("Public Enemies" is now on DVD.) — Nick Cabreza

Bizarro Masterpiece Theatre Film: "The Adventures of Milo and Otis" (1986) Director: Masanori Hata Stars: Dudley Moore, Milo, Otis Writer: Mark Saltzman Nothing else in the dark reaches of the Wal-Mart $5 DVD bin has ever matched the horrible, adorable glory that is The Adventures of Milo and Otis. As a child, I thought it was great. An hour and a half of a cat and dog placed in awkward situations? Sweet! Now I can see the whole picture, which is that all the cute this film throws at its audience can’t conceal there is some seriously disturbing animal exploitation going on. It’s not as though a dark thread taints every scene. Most of Milo and Otis continues to run the spectrum from amusing to delightful. A scene that portrays three tiny kittens as “local snoops looking to dig up some scandal” is what Randy Constan, a 50-year-old man who dresses like Peter Pan, would describe as a TCO, or Total Cute Overload. And most of the animals’ manufactured misadventures, while sometimes questionable, don’t qualify as animal cruelty, or are carefully edited. But there are a few needless things that defy explanation. The first happens as Milo (the cat) floats down a creek in a box, right into the clutches of a bear. Though I’m no zoologist, I assume that it was a baby bear. Still, the beast was much larger than the cat, which was clearly afraid. To save his friend, Otis

December 10, 2009 // 5

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(the dog) is made to swim up to the bear and start fighting it! The bear (or one like it) continues to harass Milo throughout the film, which ultimately results in the cat dropping a medicine ball on its head. Following his first encounter with the bear, Milo’s box is swept into raging rapids and plummets down a waterfall. I want to leave no ambiguity on this; the cat is in the box the entire time. Soon after, Otis finds himself abandoned on a rock in the middle of the sea. It’s a pretty messed up situation, though his escape on the back of a tortoise is pretty cool. But all of this chicanery pales in comparison with the film’s most infamous moment. Eventually Milo finds himself on a seaside cliff, attacked by a horde of seagulls. The next scene shows the cat plummeting into the rock-strewn waters below, clearly hurled from the top. At least Dudley Moore, who flails at coherency in his role as narrator, seems to be having a good time, though he may have had a few. For the rest of us, though, what the hell did we just see? — Brett Emerson

• New Year’s party guide • Deadline: Dec. 23

JAN. 21

• In search of the best chili in La Crosse • Deadline: Jan. 19

JAN. 28

• Alternative medicine goes mainstream • Deadline: Jan. 26 For advertising rates and information, contact Roger Bartel at (608) 782-7001 or

6// December 10, 2009


Second Supper

Downtown offers unique holiday shopping opportunities Dear Readers: The holiday shopping season is upon us, and once again Second Supper offers readers our annual downtown shopping guide. With the recession affecting so many La Crosse area residents, it's more important than ever to spend your money wisely. Supporting local businesses, such as the diverse group of independent local merchants in the downtown area, goes a long way to bolstering the local economy. Buying local is one of the most important things we all can do to help the La Crosse area. According to economists, only 13 cents of each dollar spent at a national chain stays within the community. On the other hand, 68 cents of each dollar spent at a local business stays here. Keep that in mind as you ponder whether to save a few cents at a chain store or to invest in your friends and neighbors. Shop local! Meanwhile, please enjoy our writers' guide to a sampling of the interesting retailers that make our historic downtown so special. And check back again next week for our last-minute shopping guide featuring more unique local businesses! — Roger Bartrel Publisher


236 Main St. This past summer, while preparing an outfit for a friend's upcoming wedding, I realized that I had no shoes to go with my dress. Scratch that — I had no shoes to go with any dress. In fact, I only owned about ten pairs of shoes max, the majority of which were flip flops or worn-out sneakers that should've been tossed years prior. Let's just say, I never considered myself a "shoe person". Then I went to Kick. Owners (and best friends) Allison and Andrea are passionate shoe lovers, and they make shoe shopping something you want to engage in with them on a weekly basis. Their selection, updated every Friday, always maintains an appreciated balance of not only fashion and uniqueness, but — most importantly — comfort. When I strapped on a pair of tan Tsubo heels — the pair I ultimately settled on for the wedding — I strutted around the cozy shop in disbelief. "I could seriously bartend in these," I shouted happily across the room, ecstatic that heels could be so comfortable. If the recent weather has you thinking more along the lines of something you can stomp around the snow in as opposed to something strappy, however, have no fear. In accordance with the season, Kick offers a multitude of killer, cozy boots that are guaranteed to keep feet warm as well as lookin' good. And if your birthday happens to fall during this wintery wonderland of a month, think about treating yourself...the Kick girls offer $20 off of any shoe purchase throughout your whole birthday month! Shopping for somebody else? Let them enjoy the shopping experience themselves and simply swipe up a gift certificate. While you're at it, why not tuck it into a pair of Kick's many colorful and layerable tights. You may not think the special lady on your list is a shoe person, but, trust me, she is. — Briana Rupel

Vintage Vogue 115 5th Ave. S.

At Vintage Vogue, located on 5th Avenue, you can get in touch with your inner hippie, cowboy or mad man within the racks of various clothes spanning a wide variety of fashion areas. Like a little fashion history museum, you can walk around the store that is sectioned off not in only into men's and women's departments but also different eras. For the dapper guy in your life, there are retro ties on sale, some hand painted, for only $10 apiece. And for the stylish hipster girl who leans toward more of a 1960s aesthetic, there are some killer leopard print shoes as well as a multitude of hats. For the practical, there are an abundance of well-crafted winter coats and sweaters. For the treasure hunters, check out the jewelry, accessories and odds and ends, such as a fine printer's tray/drawer. Leggings, kimonos, muumuus, leisure suits, all have taken residence up at the Vintage Vogue and all ready to be taken home for a second life. The store is all about recycling, about timeless and classic styles, about fashion and accessories. It's a gift buyers wonderland. Enjoy! — Jonathan Majak

Deaf Ear Records 112 4th St. S.

For the music lover on your shopping list, head straight to the staple of downtown shopping for years, Deaf Ear Records. With both new and used CDs, you are sure to find something no matter what their tastes are. There's a decent selection of vinyl as well for the audiophile collectors out there. If the music nerd on your list is of the mp3 download variety, you can still get them a Joy Division poster or vintage T-Rex T-shirt to help their musical flag fly. There's a large selection of used DVDs, BluRays and video games lining the shelves too, as well as head shop staples such as incense, water pipes and flavored tobacco. If you aren't sure what the kids are listening to these days, the knowledgeable staff can steer you in the right direction, you can put the headphones on in the listening section to sample a dozen hot new releases, or you could arm yourself with the suggestions presented in a copy of Second Supper. — Shuggypop Jackson

City Wear

100 3rd St. S. Living up to its tag line, City Wear truly presents “style in the heart of the city,” and one doesn’t have to be a fashionista to know it. Any woman wanting to add a touch of flair to an otherwise dull wardrobe would fall in love with the shop’s intricate embellishments, chic apparel and fun accessories; the latter being gift-givers’ most popular choices of purchase. Included are the notably soft deer skin mittens, complete with sewn in gloves for extra insulation at a reasonable price of $40. The variety of scarves provide fashion and function, ranging from cozy, chunky knits to elegant velvet sashes. And be sure to scope out the one-of-a-kind stone earrings, charm bracelets, statement bangles and bold encrusted rings displayed in jewelry boxes throughout the store. — Anna Soldner

Satori Arts Gallery 201 Pearl St.

Antique Center of La Crosse 110 3rd St. S.

So you’re going to visit your grandmother who lives in Seward, Nebraska for the holidays. Nana is a sweet lady, but unfortunately she is stuck in 1956 and her hobbies include petting her cat and collecting ... well, just plain collecting. Save yourself the time and energy pondering what kind of Christmas gift to give such a breed, and step into the astounding Antique Center of La Crosse. Let’s just put it this way — the teacups, post cards and figurine cats would be enough to make Nana feel like she's on treasure island. Scenario two: your hipster friend avoids mainstream culture and mass production like the plague. Why not get her a vintage apron or a cool rustic picture frame? Between mounds of jewelry, vinyl records and ancient books, this place has everything. And I ‘betcha it’s the only place in town where you can find a dollar that costs twenty-five bucks.

Looking for a gorgeous, hand-crafted gift to really wow your recipient? Look no further than Satori Arts in Historic Downtown La Crosse. The gallery features a dazzling array of artifacts from around the world, including many items hand-picked by owner John Satory in China and Southeast Asia. Baltic amber pieces, antique Chinese furniture, handcarved lapis lazuli sculptures, and even fossilized dinosaur eggs can be found in the displays at Satori Arts. I was especially blown away by the Chinese pottery from 1,500 BCE. Also featured is a mind-bending collection of jewelry, much of it hand-crafted by Satory himself. Many imported pearls and beads, as well as turquoise, lavender jade, garnet, and tourmaline are featured in the original pieces, and the wide variety of styles promises the perfect gift for any taste or style. Custom jewelry is also available for a personalized touch. Prices on all items start at just $10-$20 and rise upward, so Satori Arts Gallery is the perfect holiday stop for any budget. Hours are Monday-Thursday and Saturday, 10-5:30, and Friday, 10-6.

— Anna Soldner

— Emily Faeth

Second Supper

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December 10, 2009 // 7


Antique Center of La Crosse 110 3rd St. S Downtown La Cross


Bodega Brew Pub 122 4th St. S Downtown La Crosse Deaf Ear Records 112 4th St. S Downtown La Crosse Finnottes Nut & Chocolate Shop 535 Main St. Downtown La Crosse Gaming Generations 714 La Crosse St. La Crosse


Kick 236 Main St. Downtown La Crosse


People’s Food Co-op 315 5th Ave. S Downtown La Crosse


River City Hobbies 313 Main St. Downtown La Crosse


Satori Arts 201 Pearl St Downtown La Crosse


Simply Living 410 Main St. Downtown La Crosse


Sweet Shop 1113 Caledonia St. La Crosse


Vintage Vogue 115 5th Ave. S Downtown La Crosse


Violet Flame 309 Pearl St. Downtown La Crosse

11 5


6 1

2 13

8 3


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8// December 10, 2009


Second Supper

The Vatican PX 328 Pearl St.

For a city the size of La Crosse, we're lucky to have a venue like The Warehouse, and even luckier yet to have the Vatican PX. The day I discovered the downtown shop stocked with Lip Service clothing (a staple in any respectable gothy-alterna-kid's closet) was glorious. Your snot-nosed scene kid sister will love the lace-up corset-style tank tops (I adore mine!) by Folter, a brand the store started carrying this year. Your tattoo fiend of a brother will dig one of the many incredible belt buckles (like the R2D2 one!) or snazzy hats. If you've got a kickass roller derby mom, a killer purse or a Rock Steady T-shirt will be right up her alley. Make your pops feel hip with a nice button-up bowling shirt to impress the other guys in the league. On a budget? VPX has a slew of things on clearance, so fret not! And supporting the VPX keeps The Warehouse open, so do it! — Stephanie Schultz

Salem Markos & Sons 313 Pearl St.

If there was a catalog titled “Your Foolproof Gift Guide for the Average Wisconsinite,” Markos would most likely make the cover. The Markos store downtown showcases a simple, straightforward layout with merchandise to resemble. Sip on complimentary hot chocolate while browsing the classic blue jeans, Mississippi River Rats T-shirts, neatly folded adult and youth sweatshirts, and assortment of winter gloves and hats. The sweatshirts, either crew neck or hooded, display Minnesota and Wisconsin logos, and all fall between a price range of $17 and $21. Who better than native Wisconsinites to master comfortable and warm dressing? Plus, I have yet to meet a Wisconsinite who doesn’t appreciate a good ole’ pair of jeans and hooded sweatshirt! — Anna Soldner

Silver Hide Out 510 Main St.

Silver Hide Out is a treasure-lovers dream. In fact, upon setting foot through the door, with the tiny chime of its bell still humming in my ears, I feel a bit like Aladdin gaining


NUT & CHOCOLATE SHOP Gifts and treats for everyone! Finnottes has all your holiday favorites: • nuts • candies • chocolate • ribbon candy • cinnamon sticks • gourmet truffles • assorted chocolates • stocking stuffers and more

Finnottes 535 Main St. 608.782.3184

Timeless, Classic Clothing & Accessories Mon.-Sat. 10-5 • 782-3722

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except consignment and custom

YOUR UNUSUAL GIFT STORE Ancient Chinese Artifacts, Custom Wedding Rings, Mississippi River Pearls, Unique Handcrafted Jewelry, Sculpture, Graphics

Second Supper


December 10, 2009 // 9

access to the Cave of Wonders. Cases upon cases of glass encircle the quaint shop, all filled with countless shiny items: delicate chains of silver and gold, chunky pendants of veined jade, and dangling earrings of speckled amber, to name very, very few. A lot of people I know are sensitive to certain types of half-assed jewelry, mainly pieces including cheap nickel. Yet every item I've ever purchased from Silver Hide Out doesn't make my ears itch and doesn't leave a tell-tale green ring around my finger. That's because every piece that the store owners, Chuck and Bill Meir, find for their shop is hand-crafted from the most high-quality metals, and the purest stones. As I try on a ring that's got my attention, Chuck explains in greater detail that everything they sell comes from about 75 artisans not only from the U.S., but from all over the world as well. For example, their amber comes from Poland, and a set of rings is crafted in a village in Nepal. Though the shop may seem solely devoted to jewelry, Silver Hide Out has so much more to offer. Snatch up a prominent silver belt buckle encrusted in turquoise for your dad. Snag an ornate beer stein for your best buddy. Grab a pair of Minnetonka moccasins for your younger sister. Wrap up a hand-carved wooden ring box for your mom. The shop also boasts a plethora of hand-made leather goods, including stamped belts, purses, and vests. So, please, forgo the Wal-Marts and Targets of the world and head down to Silver Hide Out for something that's one-of-a-kind. Because something unique is indeed the biggest treasure of them all. — Briana Rupel

The Pearl

207 Pearl St. The Pearl isn't just a confectionery, it's all about nostalgia, which is a great thing to give someone for Christmas. Making your dad reminisce about watching This Week in Baseball as he opens his pouch of Big League Chew is better than a gift card any day. A great gift for your mom is a tin filled with an assortment of The Pearl's handmade chocolates, because you know she's gonna eat it all before New Year's, and then make a resolution to lose weight. Got a little sister needing to complete her collection of Hello Kitty paraphernalia? Pick her up one of several Sanrio character Pez dispensers. Did your older sister get dumped right before the holidays? Let her drown her sorrows in a bucket of their homemade ice cream. The Pearl has everything for kids from age 1-92 year-round, not just for ice cream in the summertime! — Stephanie Schultz

Antique Center Monday-Saturday: 9 a.m.-5:30 p.m. Sunday: 11 a.m.-5:30 p.m.

Gift Certificates Available Open Christmas Eve until 4 p.m.

110 S. 3rd St.

Downtown La Crosse 608.782.6533

418 Lang Dr. La Crosse



$11 Cuts Across From Menards

Simply Living, right here in La Crosse, has gifts for you, your kids and your boss. Cast-off bike parts welded into clocks, comfortable TEKO merino wool socks, European wooden toys, organic clothes and candles of soy. Jewelry, mittens, scarves and hats are fair trade, and they’re all that. 410 Main St. - La Crosse, WI 54601 / 608.788.1192

10// December 10, 2009

er’s n g i s De Drugs The

Well, 2009 was certainly a year where musicians recorded songs and collected them onto albums. In my search for new tunes to discuss, I occasionally gathered things that I meant to review but never did, and now it’s time to sweep my review bin clean. Au revoir, lurkers! Kill Hannah — Wake up the Sleepers If the Grammys gave out awards for Whiniest Music, Kill Hannah would make it to the semifinals at least. Singer Mat Devine’s girl-wails fall above David Bowie and below Klaus Nomi on the androgyny scale, though his insipidly romantic vocals drop him from their leagues. The tracks to hear are “New York City Speed” and “Strobe Light,” both of which are high-charged synth rock marches. “Tokyo” is good musically but a ridiculous Japanophile turd vocally. Everything else is dramatically bland, continuing Kill Hannah’s status as a singles band, little more. The Bravery — Stir the Blood The Bravery’s Sam Endicott falls into a similar category, though his vocal tolerability is more variable and the band’s music is more consistently listenable. While songs like “I Have Seen the Future” have the catchy Bravery bounce, Endicott’s voice is set to squelch, drowning out the music. He’s at

Second Supper

MUSIC Medium: Album Stimului: The 2009 Music Clearance Sale! Anno: See above.

Already buzzing, Fayme Rochelle and the Waxwings look to take off

his best when set to croon, as seen in “I Am Your Skin” and the album’s best track, “The Spectator.” If you can handle the occasional squeal, this is a superior piece of synth. The xx — xxKnow when some music schmuck, for lack of better terminology, refers to dark, minimalist and softly sung music as gorgeous? Yep. Totally gorgeous. “Crystalised” is the album’s apex and the furthest this ambient rock band comes out of its shell. Though the lyrics are different, “Infinity’s” breakdown sounds suspiciously like Chris Isaak’s “Foolish Games.” And everything works, because whereas Kill Hannah ineptly postures at romance, xx IS romantic. Kiss — Sonic BoomIt’s funny; this is Kiss’s first album in over a decade, and yet there’s nothing on Sonic Boom that they didn’t do better three decades ago. The fact that this album comes with a bonus disc featuring rerecorded versions of the band’s greatest hits only confirms this. Boo! The Winner: Neil Diamond, for covering Adam Sandler’s “Chanukah Song,” saying “Marijuanukah,” and startling the shit out of me. Well done, my Jewish Elvis!

— Brett Emerson

Fayme Rochelle and the Waxwings are in the process of recording their debut album. By Adam Bissen La Crosse’s most promising string band is writing great songs, recording a debut album and gigging all over town, and once the lead singer finishes school they’ll hit the road and push the music as far as they can take it. That’s a timeless trajectory, a great American tradition, but Fayme Rochelle and the Waxwings are in a different position than most aspiring bands. For one thing, Fayme Rochelle doesn’t just sit in a classroom and listen to lectures. She stands in front of them and teaches high school English. This may be Rochelle’s final semester of student teaching at Logan High School (full disclosure: my little sister is in her class and thinks she has a promising career), but come spring Rochelle’s focus will go straight to music. While Fayme Rochelle and the Waxwings already have a dedicated following in La Crosse, the upside to the band is high. Its five members have only been playing together for six months — although many were in an earlier incarnation, the Bottom of the Barrel String Band, yet their setlists are almost 80 percent original material, a rarity among bands in their old-timey genre. “When I was learning these songs, I just assumed that most of them were traditional,” said bassist John Caucutt, who also contributes original songs. “It wasn’t until after a month or so that I found out Fayme had actually written a lot of these songs. They sounded so good. It was kind of shocking, really.” Although Rochelle is the band’s main songwriter, she actually has the least experience of anyone in the group. Casey Barth, her husband and the band’s mandolin player, was a founding member of the Smokin’ Bandits and played with that group from 2001-05. Tripp Evenson, the banjo player, performed with Barth in the Irish group the Amadans, while Caucutt has been a fixture

on the La Crosse rock and punk scenes with a number of bands, most recently Chuff and Super Deece. Fiddler Joni Welda played classical music for 40 years and also performs with the Coulee Celtic Band. In contrast, Rochelle has only been making music for the past five years. “I just started falling in love with Lucinda Williams and Gillian Welch,” she explained, citing pioneers of the modern alt-country scene. “When I first started listening to Gillian Welch it was like ‘OK, that’s what I want to do.’ And Neko Case. I have like biggest crushes on all of them.” Since first catching the songwriting bug and plucking away on the acoustic guitar, Rochelle has developed an innate ear for traditional harmonies and melds them with the evocative lyrics of an English teacher. In February she self-released a solo album that has already grabbed the attention of a Nashville-based song-writing agent who wants to license her tunes and pitch them to established country and bluegrass artists. “I was just like ‘Holy crap!’” Rochelle remembered. “Because she called on like a Sunday at noon and I’m like ‘Really? It’s pretty weird that you are that interested in them.’” But Rochelle isn’t about to move the Nashville and embark on a songwriting career. First there’s the matter of Fayme Rochelle and the Waxwing’s debut album, which they are in the midst of recording at Caucutt’s home studio. Then there are future engagements, such as the Frozen River Film Festival in Winona — where the band will perform next month — and the Popcorn Tavern, where it plays on Friday night. After that, with an album to promote and a guitar player with a fresh diploma, the band plans to hit the road. “I know I’m not going to get a teaching job right away,” Rochelle admits, “so this spring we think it’s going to be a bigger push to start to branch out a little bit more, have a little freedom to actually travel and hopefully see what comes of it.”

Second Supper

December 10, 2009 // 11


music directory // December 11 to December 17 fridaY,

December 11

Piggy's Blues Lounge // 501 Front St. The Shufflin' Duprees • 8 p.m.

just a roadie away Minneapolis

Freight house // 107 Vine St. Gregg 'Cheech' Hall • 8 p.m.



Bela Fleck & the Flecktones // Dec. 14 Guthrie Theater • $48.50

Popcorn Tavern // 308 4th St. S Fayme Rochelle and the Waxwings • 10 p.m.

Mason Jennings // Dec. 19

The Waterfront Tavern // 328 Front St. Greg Balfany Jazz Quartet • 8 p.m.

First Avenue• $19

Nighthawks Tap // 401 S. Third St.

George Winston // Dec. 20 Orchestra Hall •$26.50-$51.50

Karri Daley and the Third Street Ramblers • 10 p.m.

Pnuma Trio, TWO FRESH, MIMOSA // Dec. 31

The warehouse // 328 Pearl St. Four Letter Lie, Gun Barrell City, Cleobury, Hail Archer • 6:45 p.m. tHE ROOT NOTE // 115 4th St. S. Orangutan • 8:30 p.m. Pearl Street Brewery // 1401 St Andrew St.

The Loft @ Barfly •$20

Moon Boot Posse may be La Crosse's most unpredictable band. Best known for a vaguely SoCal style of melodic pop songs, the band is just as apt to drop into deep psychadelia as a hillarious '80s cover. Pair them with Roster McCabe, a Twin Cities band with rhythm and showmanship galore, and you have the makings of a pretty fun Saturday night. It all goes down at the Joint beginning at 10 p.m. Come early. It should be a hot one!

hEATBOX, THE HISTRONIC // Dec. 31 The Marriott City Center Grand Ballroom• $25-$75 Anti-Flag // Jan. 14 Station 4 • $16

Jason Sebranek • 5 p.m. Coaches // 3210 Hwy. 35 SOMA, Tendrill (charity benefit) • 7 p.m. JB's Speakeasy // 717 Rose St. The Sharp and Harkins Band • 10 p.m


December 12

Popcorn Tavern // 308 S. 4th St. Heatbox • 10 p.m. North Side Oasis // 620 Gillette St. Smoke House • 9 p.m. JB's Speakeasy // 717 Rose St.

Nighthawks Tap // 401 S. Third St. B.L.U.E.S. • 10 p.m. Bodega // 122 s. 4th St.. Jim Piela Quartet • 9 p.m.


Charlie's inn // W5104 Hwy. 14-61 Monkey Wrench • 9:30 p.m

Popcorn Tavern // 308 4th St S Shawn's "'Movie Character" Jam • 10 p.m.

tHE ROOT NOTE // 115 4th St. S. Gypsy Lumberjacks • 8:30 p.m. Freight house // 107 Vine St. Gregg 'Cheech' Hall • 8 p.m. Schmidty's // 3119 State Rd. Muddy Flats and the Hepcats • 8 p.m.

Crankshaft • 10 p.m.

The Waterfront Tavern // 328 Front St. Greg Balfany Jazz Quartet • 8 p.m. The Joint // 324 Jay St. Moon Boot Posse, Roster Mc Cabe • 10 p.m. howie's // 1128 La Crosse St. Flashback • 9 p.m.

Cartwright Center // 1725 State St. UW-L Festival of Carols •7:30 p.m.


December 13

holmen high school //1001 McHugh Rd. String Ties • 3 p.m. Popcorn Tavern // 308 S. 4th St. The Sunday Blend • 10 p.m. The Orrico Brothers Christmas Show • 5 p.m.


December 14 December 15

Recovery Room //901 S. Seventh St. Dox Phonic Open Jam• 10 p.m. Del's Bar // 229 3rd St. Rich Wooten • 10 p.m. Pump House // 119 King St. String Ties • 7:30 p.m.


December 17

Popcorn Tavern // 308 4th St S Paulie • 10 p.m.

Popcorn Tavern // 308 4th St S Cheech • 10 p.m.

The Joint // 324 Jay St. SOMA'S Open Jam • 7 p.m.

Del's Bar // 229 3rd St. Dave Lambert • 10 p.m.


December 16

The Starlite Lounge // 222 Pearl St. Kies & Kompanie • 5 p.m.

Popcorn Tavern // 308 4th St S Dave's Open Jam • 10 p.m.

Pump House // 119 King St. String Ties • 7:30 p.m.

Nighthawks Tap // 401 S. Third St. SOMA • 10 p.m.

Nighthawks Tap // 401 S. Third St. The Chris Duarte Group • 10p.m.

12// December 10, 2009

Second Supper



Oh hi, right now I am listening to the sound of a plow scaping the street as it does a half-assed job removing snow from the road but an amazing job of burying parked cars. That soundscape is creating a lovely duet with the voice in my head, which is saying "Are you effing kidding me? Winter again?!?" But hey, there's no way I could justify getting paid to write about that sass. Instead, I'm gonna give you a soundtrack to pretentious, noise rock loving, art damaged, more-hipster-than-thou sounds of the modern underground. Basically, here's what you need to know: It's either cerebral, atonal, dissonant or tripped out, and most likely you need to have consumed a ton of drugs or have a rather exciting mental illness to be into this stuff. Another requirement seems to be an exclusiveness/snobbery and shunning ability that would make an all-white country club circa 1958 in the Deep South jealous, as in, the masses have such pedestrian tastes in music and are so beneath me and my uberobscure, impossible to listen to and actually enjoy jams. With that being said, in full disclosure, this stuff was the bread and butter staple of my Friday afternoon radio show I did for many years :) Here's a wide ranging sampling of what my iTunes played from the weird stuff of '09 to damage your psyche: Shit and Shine's "229 2299: Girls Against Shit," Current 93's "Aleph at Hallucinatory Mountain," Animal Collective's "Animal Crack Box" and "Merriweather Post Pavilion," Bell Orchestre's "As Seen Through Windows," Caboladies' "Atomic Weekender" and

"Crowded Out Memory," Tortoise's "Beacons of Ancestorship," Times New Viking's "Born Again Revisited," Social Junk's "Born Into It," Broadcast and the Focus Group's "Investigate Witch Cults of the Radio Age," Zu's "Carboniferous," Lightning Bolt's "Earthly Delights," Black Moth Super Rainbow's "Eating Us," The Flaming Lip's "Embryonic," Silver Bullets' "Free Radical," HEALTH's "Get Color," Thee Oh Sees' "Help," The Dead Weather's "Horehound," Mono's "Hymn to the Immortal Wind," Pissed Jeans' "King of Jeans," Mark McGuire's "Losing Sleep," Billy Bao's "May 08," Double Dagger's "More," Zs' "Music of the Modern White," Pink Mountaintops' "Outside Love," Yo La Tengo's "Popular Songs," Japandroids' "Post-Nothing," The Horrors' "Primary Colours," Deerhunter's "Rainwater Cassette Exchange," Grooms' "Rejoicer," Black Dice's "Repo," Zombi's "Spirit Animal," F*** Buttons' "Tarot Sport," John Frusciante's "The Empyrean," The Heavy's "The House That Dirt Built," dredg's "The Pariah, the Parrot, the Delusion," Built to Spill's "There Is No Enemy," Jay Reatard's "Watch Me Fall," Wavves' "Wavvves," Jackie-O Motherf***er's "Ballads of the Revolution," Amen Dunes' "Dia," Omar Souleyman's "Dabke 2020," OOIOO's "Arminico Hewa," Pontiak's "Sea Voids," Acid Mothers Temple and the Melting Paraiso U.F.O.'s "Lord of the Underground: Vishnu and the Magic Elixir," Bardo Pond's "Peri," Oneida's "Rated O," and Sore Eros' "Second Chants."

— Shuggypop Jackson

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Barrel inn $2.25 for mini pitcher chuck's All day everyday: $1 Doctor, $2 Silos $3 pitchers, $1.75 rails eagle’s nest Open to close: $2 U “Call” it hoWie’s Happy hour 4 to 9 p.m.; 9 p.m. to close: Night Before Class - $3 pitchers of the beast irish hills Happy Hour 4 to 7 p.m. daily JB’s sPeakeasy $1.75 domestic bottles PettiBone Boat cluB $1 off fried chicken Players Price by Dice ringside closed schmidty’s $6.95 lunch buffet $9.95 breakfast buffet 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. slooPy's alma mater $11 buckets of beers (pregame-close), taco specials during game the Joint $2 domestics and rails, 4 to 8 p.m., Shots of Doctor $1 all day, everyday the helm All day (everyday!) specials $1.25 Old Style Light, $1.50 LAX Lager/ Light, $1 shots of Dr. the liBrary Sunday Fun Day - Wristband Night toP shots $5 Pitchers/$2 bottles of Miller products (11-4pm) $2 Corona Bottles, $2 Kilo Kai Mixers , $3 Bloodys (7-1AM) train station BBQ Ask for great eats


Barrel inn Buck burgers Brothers $2.50 Blatz vs. Old Style pitchers Bodega $2 BBQ Pork Sliders chuck’s Monday-Friday: Happy Hour 2 to 6 p.m., 50 cents off everything but the daily special Guys’ Nite Out: $1.50 silos eagle’s nest 7 p.m. to close: $1.50 domestic pints, $1.50 rails hoWie’s 9 p.m. to close: $3.50 domestic pitchers JB’s sPeakeasy $1.75 domestic bottles PettiBone Boat cluB Kids eat free with adult Players Happy Hour all night long, two-for-one ringside Closed schmidty’s BBQ sandwich slooPy's alma mater $2 can beer (2-6 p.m.) $11 buckets of beers (6-close) sPorts nut Buck Burgers the caValier Martini Ladies’ Night, James Martini: vodka, triple sec, orange juice the Joint $2 domestics and rails, 4 to 8 p.m., Shots of Doctor $1 toP shots $1.75 Miller/Bud Light Taps, $2.25 MIcro/Craft Taps, $2.50 Cherry Bombs (7-1AM)


Barrel inn Bucket Night, six beers for $9 Brothers Wristband night Bodega 2-Fers, Buy any regularly priced food item and get one of equal or lesser value for free chuck’s 50-cent taps domestic, $3 pitchers coconut Joe’s $2 Tuesdays, including $2 bottles, import taps, beer pong, apps, single shot-mixers, featured shots, 50-cent taps eagle’s nest 7 p.m. to close: $1.50 domestic pints, $1.50 rails hoWie’s 9 p.m. to close: $1 rails, $2.50 pitchers, beer pong irish hills $2 domestic cans JB’s sPeakeasy $1.75 domestic bottles PettiBone Boat cluB 2 for 1 burger night Players Karaoke @ 10 p.m., 2-4-1 Happy Hour 5 to 10 p.m., all you can drink rail mixers @ 10 p.m. ringside Open 4-9 schmidty’s Tacos slooPy's alma mater $2 can beer (2-6 p.m.) 12" pizza: $8.99 up to 5 toppings (4-close) sPorts nut Tacos $1.25 the Joint $2 domestics and rails, 4 to 8 p.m., Shots of Doctor $1 the liBrary $1 domestic taps and rails, one-half price Tequila toP shots $1.75 Rails, $1.50 Domestic Taps, $3.50 Jager Bombs (7-1AM) train station BBQ 11 a.m. to 3 p.m., extra side with sandwich; 4 to 9 p.m., $1 off rib dinner


Barrel inn $6 all you can drink taps and rails, 8 to midnight Brothers 10-cent wings, $1 Miller High Life bottles, $1.50 rail mixers chuck’s $2 Pearl Street Brewery beers coconut Joe’s $1.25 for 1 pound of wings, $1 PBR/PBR Light bottles, $1.50 Rolling Rock, $2 jumbo rail mixers, $2.25 Bud Lights, $1 shot of the week eagle’s nest 7 p.m. to close: $1.50 domestic pints, $2 craft pints, $1.50 rails hoWie’s $5 all you can drink JB’s sPeakeasy Happy Hour 5 to 7 p.m. legend’s $1 shot of the week, $4 domestic pitchers, $1.25 1 pound of wings PettiBone Boat cluB $6.99 AUCE pasta Players Karaoke @ 10 p.m., 2-4-1 Happy Hour 5 to 10 p.m., $1 Pabst cans, Dr. shots @ 10 p.m. ringside $6.50 double cheeseburger schmidty’s Chili dogs slooPy's alma mater Wings, Wings, Wings... $2 off 14: pizza, $2 can beer (2-6 p.m.) sPorts nut 15-cent wings the caValier $1.50 taps 6 to 8 p.m. the Joint $2 domestics and rails, 4 to 8 p.m., Shots of Doctor $1

continued on Page 14



December 10, 2009 // 13

K-9 Cruiser Flying Dog Brewery Frederick, Maryland

By the time this newspaper hits the streets, La Crosse should be covered with a fresh blanket of snow. I’m currently huddled up in pre-blizzard mode — thick hoodie and a thicker beard — but Breeden says we’re getting nine inches tomorrow, so naturally I’m going to review the first winter beer of the season. Heavy, high-alcohol beers are not just a necessity for northerners with poor insulation. They are a true test of a brewer’s skill — how to retain and enhance a beer’s flavor as the gravity rises from cheek-warming to body-heating. For my first winter beer, I opted for this selection from the Flying Dog Brewery, which was founded as a brewpub in Denver, Colorado so I assumed it could whip up a decent blizzard beer. Turns out, Flying Dog is actually contract-brewed in Maryland for national distribution, and after sampling this weak excuse for a winter warmer, I wonder if something was left in the mountains The beer pours a brownish-orange color which is darker than the typical ale, but it’s nothing like the molasses pours I look for in winter, and the carbonation bubbles and thin head were similarly off-putting. The aroma is heavy on malts with a hint of fruity booze like apples or plums. Although

I didn’t detect many hops in the nose, the Appearance: 5 first sip came with the surprising wallop one Aroma: 6 should expect from Colorado. The taste Taste: 5 comes on fresh with a nice medium body, Mouthfeel: 8 and the malts assume the flavor with hints Drinkability: 6 of caramel, raisins and what may be tree bark. At 6.4 percent ABV, Total: 30 the K-9 Cruiser comes on the low end of the winter alcohol spectrum, and the effects are noticeable: little belly warmth, uninspired drinkability. The finish is crisp, but way too hoppy and cloying. In the winter, I’m already bitter enough. I don’t need my aftertaste to pile on the indignities. For a better example of a hoppy winter ale, stick with the superior (and cheaper) Celebration Ale from Sierra Nevada. As for the K-9 Cruiser, it’s just too weak for a Wisconsin winter, but that’s no big deal. I still have five months to find a better one! — Adam Bissen


14// December 10, 2009

"Best of the Decade, Pt.1" Starting with 2000-2001

Food & Drink Specials


THE LIBRARY Karaoke, $2 double rails & all bottles TOP SHOTS

$2 domestic bottles, $2.50 Skyy/Absolut mixers, $2 Dr. shots (7-1am)

TRAIN STATION BBQ Special varies


BARREL INN 25-cent wings, $1 shots of Doctor BROTHERS Wristband night, $1 shots with wristband $2.50 SoCo and Jack CHUCK’S Ladies’ Nite Out: $1.50 rail mixers, $2.50 X bombs COCONUT JOE’S Happy Hour 7 to 9 p.m.: $2 for all single shot mixers and all beers. Wristband Night: $5 college I.D., $9 general public EAGLE’S NEST 7 p.m. to close: $1.50 domestic pints, $2 craft pints, $1.50 rails HOWIE’S 9 p.m. to close: $1.25 rails, $1.75 bottles/cans IRISH HILLS $14.95 steak and golf JB’S SPEAKEASY Happy Hour 5 to 7 p.m. THE CAVALIER All Mojitos $5 THE JOINT $2 domestics and rails, 4 to 8 p.m., Shots of Doctor $1 LEGEND’S After comedy: Pint Night - $1 pints of rail mixers and domestic taps, $2 pints of call mixers and import taps, $3 pints of top-shelf mixers PLAYERS 2-4-1 Happy Hour 5 to 10 p.m., $2 Captain mixers, $1.75 domestic beer, $1.50 rails, $1 Pabst cans @ 10 p.m. RALPH’S Southwest chicken pita $5 RINGSIDE Southwest chicken pita SCHMIDTY’S Tacos SLOOPY'S ALMA MATER Ladies night, 2 for 1 drinks (6-close), $2 can beer (2-6 p.m.) SPORTS NUT $8.99 12-ounce T-bone THE HELM $1 Vodka Drinks, $1.00 12 oz Dom. Taps, $1.25 12 oz prem. Taps, $3 Orange Bombs THE LIBRARY $1 kamikaze and red headed sluts TOP SHOTS 5 Domestic Bottles for $10, $5 Micro/Import Bottles $11.50, $7 Micro/Craft Pitchers (7-1AM) TRAIN STATION BBQ 11 a.m. to 3 p.m., Barn burner $7.95; 4 to 9 p.m., Hobo dinner

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Across 1 Health services provider for seniors 9 Goa garments 14 Vaporize 15 Dog tag, e.g.: abbr. 16 OutKast album that rated #1 on Metacritic's Top Albums of 2000 17 Island in the Mediterranean 18 It can get high every day 19 Spine-chilling 21 Yellowfin tuna variety 22 Denom. of South Carolina's Allen University 23 His "Goblet of Fire" was's #1 best-selling book of 2000 26 Language that gives us "schadenfreude" 28 Pissed-off looks 29 Confesses (to) 33 H, in a fraternity 34 With "The," sitcom that made Time's 10 Best TV Series of 2001 list 38 Bolivian president Morales 39 "Pig's blood at the prom" movie 40 Be ready for 43 May-December difference, perhaps 47's PC Game of the Year, 2001 51 Junkyard dog's warning 52 Former Texas Rangers pitcher Kameron



BARREL INN $10 pitcher and pizza BROTHERS 2 for 1 bloody marys, screwdrivers, domestic taps CHUCK’S 12 to 3 p.m.: Buy one, get one domestic beer; Holmen Meat Locker jerky raffle COCONUT JOE’S Happy Hour 7 to 9 p.m.: $2 for all single-shot mixers and all beers, $2.50 jumbo Captain Morgan mixers, $2.50 jumbo Bacardi mixers (all flavors), $3 Jagerbombs EAGLE’S NEST Open to close: $2 U “Call” it HOWIE’S 9 p.m. to close: $2 Bacardi mixers, $2 domestic pints, $1.50 shots blackberry brandy JB’S SPEAKEASY Happy Hour 5 to 7 p.m. THE JOINT $2 domestics and rails, 4 to 8 p.m., Shots of Doctor $1 LEGEND’S $3 jumbo Svedka mixers, $2 Jonestown shots PLAYERS 2-4-1 Happy Hour 3 to 8 p.m. RINGSIDE $1 off wild wings, $1 off philly steak and cheese SLOOPY'S ALMA MATER $11 buckets for college football, 2 for 1 pints/pitches w/ student ID over 21 SPORTS NUT 15-cent wings THE LIBRARY 2 for 1 bloody marys, screwdrivers, domestic taps TOP SHOTS $5 Miller/Bud Light Pitchers, $2.25 Leinies Bottles (7-1AM)TRAIN STATION BBQ One-half chicken three bones $12.95

Second Supper

Answers to Issue 190's

"Bank Job"

53 Swedish politician Olof assassinated in 1986 54 "Knowing" star Nicolas 55 Talk show ending in 2011 57 Compact that made Car & Driver's Best Car of 2001 list 60 Rhone tributary 61 Complaint when the lights are out 62 Belly button that collects lint 63 Bases, chemically speaking

Down 1 Personal period 2 Dodgy sort? 3 Comedian Cook 4 Tats 5 Fortune magazine subj., perhaps 6 "Up" actor Ed 7 More wintry 8 Sweetums 9 San ___, CA (Hearst Castle locale) 10 Palindromic Oklahoma city 11 Be sympathetic with 12 How sugar is sometimes served 13 Elevator alternative 16 Men-only 20 Numerical Internet addresses: abbr. 23 Kate Hudson's mom Goldie 24 Years, to Nero 25 [snicker] 27 Angel in Mormon history 30 "Hey, wait a ___!" 31 "Kill Bill" star Thurman 32 Course goal 34 Belize's capital 35 She sings "Don't Cry for Me, Argentina" 36 Ending for demo or Dixie

37 "Ah, whatever" follower 40 House Speaker Nancy 41 Greek god with a lyre, to the French 42 Grp. once battled by Jesse Helms 44 Showed up on (the cover of) 45 Defends one's side 46 Current Palm products 48 Like Santa's helpers 49 Oil company that merged with BP 50 Played on TV Land 54 "___ fan tutte" 56 Folk rocker DiFranco 58 CSI sample 59 U.S. consumer protection agcy. ©2009 Jonesin' Crosswords ( For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle #0434.

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Second Supper

December 10, 2009 // 15


Y Marks the Spot By Brett Emerson The first part of this week’s ramblings concerns a question that is of vital importance to the entire world. It’s something I’ve been asking the people I know for the past week, and has sparked some vehemently (OK, vaguely) emotional discussions. Now I put the question to you, the faithful Second Supper readers, and trust that your sober judgment can help steer this debate toward a resolution that will better all life on Earth. Who would win in a laser eye beam duel to the death — a Cyclops or a fly? As you no doubt will believe, as the mind-crushing question seeps into your inner consciousness, this is a situation that requires clarification. So I will now give you the agreed upon specifics of this titanic duel. First off, beyond the ability to emit laser beams from the eye there is nothing

special about either combatant. Ordinary fly, ordinary Cyclops. There are neither Jeff Goldblums nor X-men in the arena. The Cyclops fires but one laser at a time from his eye, but his power is so focused that it causes instant death. Additionally, he may flail his arms (or a club, or a flyswatter, if he is so equipped) about randomly in the hopes of accidentally squashing the fly. This is good for him, because the Cyclops has no depth perception. The fly has 100 eyes, and each eye fires a laser, but all are weak (roughly 1/100th the strength of the Cyclops’ beam). He is agile, maneuverable and small. The fly is also able to cross his eyes and aim in a spray pattern, but if he does so he loses his equilibrium and flies erratically. Another vital point to consider is this: At any point in the match, the Cyclops may elect to take a monster poo. This maneuver will take some time to complete, leaving Cyclops temporarily vulnerable, but once completed it will drive the fly turdberserk. At that point, the odds heavily favor the Cyclops. Everybody has their opinions about this pressing matter, but my favorite comes from Second Supper poet Jason Wild, who writes: “A mammoth with laser tusks. Also laser eyes and a hammer for a tail. Its fur is so dense that it has its own gravitational pull, which is twice that of Mercury. It’s impenetrable to everything except diamond bullets. It can turn invisible, breathe fire,

and Barack Obama is known to ride it.” What do you think? *** I’ve seen way too many great and terrible things on the Internet: Hitler parodies, Keyboard Cats, a Kiss concert being overdubbed by Rick Astley’s signature song, and, of course, pornography that would make P.T. Barnum proud. Usually what comes to us online skews toward the baser levels of humanity’s nature, easily forgotten in the face of the coming universal inside jokes. Yet I’m going on record, saying that this weekend I saw the greatest, happiest, most wonderful thing I’ve ever seen on the Internet. It was Stevie Wonder playing “Superstition” on Sesame Street. This glorious moment took place in the early '70s, back when something — anything! — could appear on a kid’s show without a merchandise line accompanying it. Young Stevie Wonder just showed up, set up his band in front of the Sesame Street fire escape, played a song, and hung around with the Muppets for a while. It seems like the least complicated thing in the world. Between the opening swagger of the drums to the song’s explosive ending almost seven minutes later, Wonder and his band play the best version of “Superstition” that I’ve ever heard. It’s live, doesn’t stick to its script, and is blazing furious. To put the enormity of this in perspective,

Wonder performed the same song on an episode of Soul Train, a show that probably had a larger audience and certainly one that was more into his music. And unless I’m severely mistaken and there was a band hidden behind the curtain, he faked it. Soul Train may have offered a crazier dance floor, but Sesame Street owned the sound. The girl atop the fire escape who was headbanging like an epileptic puts the matter beyond question. (A comment perfectly summed it up: “That kid is feeling it man.”) For the first dozen times, I watched this video with stunned admiration and gratitude that something so amazing could exist. Of course, the cynic in me is equally astonished that it was allowed on television. Why don’t we have more music, more kid’s shows, more honest and marvelous entertainment like this anymore? The musicians are still there. The kids are still there. The will to take an audience to the heights of inspiration is still within us. Yet the urge for a safe, profitable retardation of the remarkable has damaged everything. Manufacturing belongs in certain aspects of life, but creativity is not one of them. FIGHT IT. *** Later in the weekend’s afterglow, I was driving randomly about town, Stevie Wonder in my speakers, when I saw a sign that said “Caution: Blind Child Area.” I knew then that I was onto something.

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16// December 10, 2009

Second Supper

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Let us help you find a location: visit or call 1-888-BUY-USCC Calling All Communities: No purchase necessary to enter or win. Voting begins November 13, 2009, and ends January 15, 2010. See official rules at ©2009 U.S. Cellular.